Podcast Summary
Exploring Masculinity and Life with The Order of Man Podcast: The Order of Man podcast, hosted by Ryan Mickler, offers valuable conversations on various aspects of life, including masculinity, raising sons and daughters, marriage, and more. It's an excellent resource for couples and parents to explore together.
The Order of Man podcast, hosted by Ryan Mickler, offers valuable conversations on various aspects of life, including masculinity, toxic masculinity, manliness, raising sons and daughters, marriage, and more. Ryan, a veteran and father of four, started the podcast seven years ago based on the similar conversations he noticed among his friends. The podcast has become one of the biggest in the world, covering topics like vulnerability, humility, honesty, guns, hunting, and everything in between. It's an excellent resource for couples and parents to explore together. Ryan moved to Maine from Southern Utah for an adventure, and his friend Pete Roberts, the founder of Origin, inspired him with his dedication to helping America and being considered one of the best people on the planet.
A shared love for jiu jitsu leads to unexpected adventures: Embrace new experiences, distill your values, and discover who you truly are through shared connections and adventures.
The power of connections and shared experiences can lead to unexpected adventures and new beginnings. In this case, a shared love for jiu jitsu brought two individuals together, leading one to discover a new place and ultimately move there with his family. The experience of leaving familiar surroundings and embarking on a new journey helped them distill their values and discover who they truly are. Many people may aspire to do the same but feel held back by obligations and fears. However, as the speaker and his wife demonstrated, taking a leap of faith and having an adventure can be an enriching experience.
Unexpected life changes and new opportunities: Life's unpredictability can lead to unexpected challenges and opportunities, requiring flexibility and openness to adapt and grow
Life can take unexpected turns, and our plans can change drastically. A couple moved from Utah to Maine, thinking they would only stay for a few years. However, the wife fell in love with the homesteading lifestyle and didn't want to move back. The husband, a veteran who had served in the National Guard and been deployed to Iraq, had to adapt to new circumstances upon his return. He went from retail management to becoming a financial advisor. This experience taught him the importance of being flexible and open to new opportunities. The husband's military background, including his deployment to Ramadi, played a significant role in shaping his perspective and driving him to seek new challenges. Life's twists and turns can be challenging, but they also present opportunities for growth and change.
Open conversations among men about experiences and challenges: Exploring topics like fatherhood, marriage, and personal growth through open dialogue in a safe space for men is essential due to societal individualism and lack of such platforms.
There is a significant need for open conversations among men about their experiences and challenges, particularly in areas like fatherhood, marriage, and personal growth. The speaker's own experiences, including growing up without a stable father figure and going through a separation with his wife, led him to start a podcast to explore these topics and connect with other men. The lack of such platforms for open dialogue among men, especially in today's more individualistic society, contributes to the growing popularity and success of his podcast. The speaker's background, marked by a difficult upbringing with multiple stepfathers, highlights the importance of addressing these issues and providing a safe space for men to share their stories and learn from one another.
Understanding Masculinity as an Amoral Concept: Masculinity is a concept driven by biology, not inherently good or bad, and should be harnessed for positive outcomes.
Masculinity is an amoral concept that stems from biological differences between men and women, primarily driven by higher levels of testosterone. It's not inherently good or bad; rather, it's how men choose to use their masculine characteristics that determine if they're being manly or not. The misconception arises when people label all masculinity as toxic or harmful, leading to a skewed perspective. Instead, we should focus on harnessing masculinity for productive outcomes and recognizing that being male and being manly are two distinct concepts. The former is a biological fact, while the latter is a choice to embody positive masculine traits.
Understanding Manliness: Instruction and Positive Examples Matter: Manliness is not about physical attributes or actions, but character. Parents and role models should provide positive examples and instruction to help individuals understand manliness as courage, bravery, risk-taking, and strength used positively.
Manliness is not about physical attributes or actions, but rather a character that is earned and practiced. It's important for individuals, especially parents, to provide instruction and positive examples of what manliness looks like, as opposed to leaving a vacuum that may be filled with destructive behaviors. The term "toxic masculinity" can be misleading, and it's crucial to differentiate between destructive behaviors and the essence of manliness, which involves courage, bravery, risk-taking, and strength used in positive ways. The speakers shared their personal experiences of growing up with diverse role models and struggling with their own understanding of manliness. They emphasized the importance of learning and practicing manliness through instruction and positive examples.
Finding Purpose and Meaning Through Service to Others: Becoming a man involves protecting, providing, and presiding for self and others to find purpose and meaning in life, avoiding empty excesses for lasting fulfillment.
Becoming a man involves finding purpose and meaning through service to others. This can be achieved by protecting, providing, and presiding – protecting yourself and loved ones, providing mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and presiding to lead and help others. This framework, also found in different cultures throughout history, emphasizes the importance of responsibility and creating meaning in one's life. Many men struggle to transition into manhood when they encounter responsibilities, such as marriage and parenthood, but this sense of purpose can also be found outside of these traditional roles. The danger lies in filling the void with excesses, such as pornography, drugs, or excessive work, which ultimately do not provide lasting fulfillment. Instead, focusing on selfless service to others can help men find true meaning and become the best version of themselves.
The power of purpose in driving motivation and resilience: Having a clear sense of purpose enhances motivation, fulfillment, and ability to handle challenges. It also impacts relationships and ability to help others. Recognizing value in helping others and seeking help when needed can recharge emotional and mental energy.
Having a clear sense of purpose and meaning behind our actions can greatly enhance our motivation, fulfillment, and ability to handle challenges. The person in the story, despite his injuries, trains with a deeper commitment due to his mission to protect and serve. This sense of purpose gives him power and resilience. On the other hand, someone who goes to the gym only to look good may find less fulfillment. The importance of purpose extends beyond personal goals, as it also impacts our relationships and ability to help others. Furthermore, recognizing the value we bring to others and seeking help when needed can contribute to recharging our emotional and mental energy.
Understanding the difference between vulnerability and humility: Vulnerability is exposing weaknesses, humility is willingness to learn and grow, both essential for authentic living and building connections, integrity aligns thoughts, words, and actions, model these behaviors for children and encourage open communication.
Vulnerability and humility are related concepts, but they are not the same thing. Vulnerability, as defined, means exposing one's weaknesses, while humility is about being willing to learn and grow. Both concepts are important in building connections and living an authentic life, but they serve different purposes. For example, vulnerability might not be appropriate in certain situations, such as in a dangerous environment or during a violent encounter. On the other hand, humility is about recognizing the need for improvement and taking action to address it. Integrity, which is the alignment of thoughts, words, and actions, can be seen as a foundation for both vulnerability and humility. Ultimately, the key is to be honest with oneself and others, and to take action based on that honesty. In the context of raising children, it's essential to model these behaviors and encourage open communication and authenticity.
Narrow definitions of masculinity limit and exclude: Challenge societal expectations and embrace individuality in expressing true masculinity, which lies in protecting, providing, and presiding.
Society's definition of masculinity can be limiting and exclusionary. The speaker shared his experience of feeling judged for hunting with a Prius, while his father-in-law was praised for being an outdoorsman. He also discussed how some activities, like cooking or art, are incorrectly labeled as non-masculine. The speaker argued that true masculinity lies in protecting, providing, and presiding, and that individuals should be free to express themselves in ways that align with these values, regardless of societal expectations. Ultimately, it's important to challenge these narrow definitions of masculinity and embrace the diversity of interests and abilities that make us human.
Parents' role in shaping children's lives: Parents should have open, honest conversations and give children responsibilities to help them grow and navigate complexities of life
Parents have a significant role in shaping their children's lives by giving them responsibilities and having open and honest conversations with them, even about sensitive topics. We've been robbing children of the weight of responsibility and the opportunity to learn and grow from difficult situations. Instead of avoiding awkward conversations, parents should step up and have them, as these moments can have a deep and meaningful impact on their child's development. Being truthful and honest, even if it's not perfect, is essential. Parents should remember that their voice needs to be the loudest in their child's life, and they can only achieve that by actively engaging in these difficult conversations. By doing so, parents can help their children navigate the complexities of growing up and instill valuable life skills.
Honesty and integrity in relationships: Honesty and integrity are vital in relationships, setting a good example for kids, and building trust through aligning words, thoughts, and actions.
Honesty and integrity are crucial in building strong relationships, especially in the presence of children. People can sense dishonesty, and it sets a poor example for kids. Honesty, whether it's in small or big matters, shows respect, dignity, and love. True friends will tell you the truth, even in uncomfortable situations, because they care about you. Having integrity means aligning your words, thoughts, and actions, which gives you the confidence to confront others. Ultimately, it's up to us to choose how we interpret others' words and actions. The discussion emphasizes the importance of honesty and integrity in building strong relationships and setting a good example for children.
Embrace vulnerability, forge authentic relationships, and prioritize personal growth for a peaceful, non-anxious life: Men can promote peace and resilience by understanding healthy connections, challenging societal norms, and prioritizing self-care and personal growth
Men can take active steps towards building a non-anxious life by making daily choices that promote peace and resilience. These choices include understanding and fostering healthy connections, particularly in areas of intimacy and independence. Men should also challenge societal norms that stigmatize seeking help for mental health issues, recognizing that mental fortitude and self-care are essential components of true masculinity. Ultimately, embracing vulnerability, forging authentic relationships, and prioritizing personal growth are keys to creating a more peaceful, non-anxious life.
Understanding Emotions and Responses in Jiu Jitsu: Emotions are signals, not negatives. Anger, for example, can teach us something, and we should recognize feelings and respond appropriately. Self-awareness and emotional intelligence are crucial in jiu jitsu and life.
Emotions are not negative, but rather signals that require appropriate responses. During physical activities like jiu jitsu, one can learn about a person's character quickly, and strength and power do not always equate to aggression. Anger, for instance, is a feeling that can teach us something, and it's essential to recognize the feeling and choose our response. The speaker emphasizes that we should not suppress emotions or let them control us; instead, we should understand and respond appropriately. Additionally, the speaker encourages recognizing patterns of behavior and making conscious choices to change them. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of emotional intelligence and self-awareness in various aspects of life.
Ryan Mickler's Personal Growth Journey and Love for Country Music: Ryan Mickler emphasizes that manliness is defined by character, not just biology or actions, and encourages self-awareness and accountability through his podcast and community.
Ryan Mickler shared his personal growth journey, acknowledging past mistakes and misconceptions about masculinity. He emphasized that manliness is more than just biology or actions, but a character defined by one's thoughts and actions. Ryan also mentioned his favorite book, "Wild at Heart," and shared his love for country music, particularly artists like George Strait and Granger Smith. Lastly, he introduced his podcast, Order of Man, and the Iron Council community where men work together to hold each other accountable. Through this conversation, Ryan demonstrated vulnerability, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal growth.
Enjoying thoughtful discussions with those who hold different beliefs: Open-minded dialogue fosters continued learning and growth, even in the face of disagreements. Sharing experiences adds to the positivity of the interaction.
The importance of open-minded and respectful dialogue between individuals with differing beliefs. John Dalton expresses his enjoyment of speaking with people like Ryan, who are passionate about their convictions and willing to engage in thoughtful discussions, even if they don't see eye to eye. This ability to maintain a friendship despite disagreements is a valuable trait, as it allows for continued learning and growth. Additionally, the excitement around sharing experiences, such as hunting, adds to the overall positivity of the interaction. If you're interested in more interviews featuring insightful conversations, visit johndaloney.com/ask and submit your request.
