Stop Holding Yourself BACK & Get INSPIRED to Go After What You Want | Mel Robbins

Jealousy can be a powerful motivator if we learn to channel it correctly. Mel Robbins encourages us to pay attention to what we're jealous of and use it as inspiration to take action towards achieving our goals. She also emphasizes the importance of self-encouragement and not letting self-doubt hold us back from stepping through the door of opportunity when it presents itself. In the story of the Dallas Uber driver, Mel shares how she was inspired by a stranger's words of encouragement during a moment of self-doubt, reminding us that we all have the power to support ourselves and chase our dreams.

We often find it easier to support and encourage others in their dreams, rather than pursuing our own. A conversation between the speaker and a young man with a dream of becoming an Oscar-winning actor illustrates this point. The man lacks the motivation to pursue his dream due to financial constraints, but the speaker argues for his dream and encourages him to move to LA. The sad reality is that many people struggle to celebrate themselves and lack the confidence to take action towards their goals. Research from Harvard Business School suggests that a simple morning routine of setting an intention and giving yourself a high five in the mirror can boost productivity, confidence, and mood. By taking this small step, we can begin to lift ourselves up and check back in with our intentions each day.

Intentionally practicing small positive actions, like giving yourself a high five, can help interrupt negative thought patterns and promote self-confidence. This concept, known as neurobics, combines physical activity with a change in thought to accelerate the development of new neural pathways. During challenging times, it's essential to ground yourself in the present moment and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles. By intentionally focusing on positive thoughts, even during low moments, you can build a stronger foundation for resilience and self-empowerment.

Self-encouragement and empowerment through intentional moments like giving yourself a high five in the mirror can significantly improve your mood, motivation, and overall well-being. Research shows that being hard on oneself is demotivating, while support and celebration are the most effective motivators. The simple act of a high five fulfills our fundamental human needs of being seen, heard, and acknowledged as unique individuals. By creating a partnership and trust with ourselves, we can boost our confidence and resilience, especially during challenging times. This practice, inspired by athletes and teams, can be applied in our daily lives to help us feel empowered and supported, even when we feel alone.

Recognizing and celebrating one's worth is essential for personal growth and overcoming obstacles. However, many people withhold this support due to feelings of unworthiness. These feelings often stem from focusing on perceived shortcomings, such as weight, finances, or career dissatisfaction. Instead, it's crucial to understand that high-fiving or celebrating oneself is not about having everything perfect but acknowledging progress and efforts. This self-empowerment can help individuals face their fears and make necessary changes. Moreover, investing in oneself, whether it's through improving a cherished possession or growing a business, can also lead to a sense of worth and accomplishment. Platforms like eBay Motors and Shopify can provide the tools and resources needed to transform and thrive. Lastly, safeguarding personal data is essential in today's digital age. Services like DeleteMe can help individuals take control of their information and protect their privacy. Overall, embracing self-worth, recognizing progress, and securing personal information are key steps towards personal growth and success.

Self-celebration and self-worth are crucial for personal growth and achieving one's goals. The neurochemistry of self-deprecation and self-sabotage can be detrimental, and it's essential to identify and challenge the underlying beliefs preventing us from cheering for ourselves. By practicing daily acts of self-affirmation, such as high-fiving ourselves in the mirror, we can build resilience and defy the negative narratives that may have held us back in the past. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) also plays a role in this process, as we tend to focus on and find what we look for, so it's essential to shift our perspective and focus on the positive aspects of ourselves and our lives.

Our brains have a filtering system called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) which blocks out 99% of the world and lets in only a tiny percentage of information that it believes is important to us. By understanding this, we can learn to change our brain's perception and focus on what we consider important. The Zeigarnik effect comes into play here, as our brains create mental checklists for things that matter to us, making us more aware of related information in our environment. A simple exercise to demonstrate this is to start looking for heart-shaped objects every day. By doing so, we'll begin to notice hearts everywhere, proving that our perception of the world can be altered based on what we choose to focus on. The next time you wake up, start your day with a high five in the mirror and make a conscious effort to find hearts throughout your day. This simple practice will help you uncover the resistance within and broaden your perspective on the world around you.

Our thoughts and beliefs shape how we perceive and experience reality. Our brains filter information based on our deeply ingrained beliefs, which can lead us to focus on negative aspects and ignore positive ones. For instance, constantly labeling oneself as a failure can make it difficult to see one's strengths and accomplishments. Similarly, jealousy, rather than being rejected, can be a source of inspiration if we identify the underlying motivations and take action to achieve our goals. Furthermore, understanding neurochemistry and the importance of celebrating small wins can help us build momentum and change our lives. Ultimately, recognizing that we are responsible for our own lives and happiness is crucial, as nobody else can do it for us. By changing our mindset and taking action, we can shift our perception and make the most of our experiences.

Individuals need to take responsibility for their own happiness and fulfillment in life, rather than relying on others to provide it for them. This means figuring out what makes you happy, becoming self-aware about your needs, and finding the courage to ask for help when needed. It can be scary to take the driver's seat in your own life, but the liberation and freedom that comes with it is worth the effort. Many people struggle with this due to past traumas or negative messages they've received, but it's important to remember that you are not responsible for what happened to you, but you are responsible for healing and changing yourself to become the happy, fulfilled person you were born to be. It may be unfair that you have to do the work to heal, but there is no shortcut – just as if you were physically injured, you would need to undergo therapy to recover. So, focus on your goals, believe in your worthiness, and take action to make positive changes in your life.

Despite the challenges and unfair circumstances in life, we have the power to control our mental response and attitude towards them. This mental freedom is crucial because it's the foundation for overcoming obstacles and healing from trauma. We can't always change external circumstances, but we can change how we react to them. The woman in a domestic violence shelter, for instance, can believe in her ability to heal and survive, and this belief is the first step towards overcoming her hurdles. Similarly, we all have the power to give ourselves self-confidence, self-love, and self-reliance, which are essential for a healthy self-image and strong relationships. One practical tool for gaining control of our minds is using a "pattern interrupt," which involves interrupting negative thought patterns with positive thoughts or actions. By focusing on the things we can control, like our thoughts and attitudes, we can make a significant impact on our lives.

We all have the power to interrupt and challenge our negative self-talk by using meaningful mantras. Negative thoughts, such as "I'm not good enough" or "I'm a loser," can be detrimental and repetitive, but we can interrupt them with phrases like "I'm not thinking about that" or use the 5-second rule. Once we've interrupted the negative thought pattern, we can start to create meaningful mantras that resonate with us and empower us. These mantras can be simple, such as "I'm doing my best" or "I can learn from this," and can help us shift our perspective and lift ourselves up instead of bringing ourselves down. The key is to believe in the mantra and make it meaningful to us. By interrupting negative self-talk and replacing it with empowering mantras, we can break negative thought patterns and improve our overall well-being.

Certain things in life are meant for us, and they can leave a profound impact on us, sometimes even haunting us if we don't pursue them. The speaker's story about a painting that called to her in college illustrates this idea. She was drawn to the painting and felt a strong connection to it, but she couldn't afford it at the time. However, she never forgot about it and continued to think about it for years. Eventually, she was able to buy the painting, and the experience of owning it brought her great joy. The story also highlights the importance of keeping an open mind and believing that something is possible, even if it seems out of reach. The painting served as a reminder that our dreams are worth pursuing, and that they can shape our lives in meaningful ways.

Our minds have the power to help us achieve what we desire, but we must believe it's possible. The speaker shared a personal story about discovering a long-lost painting and the profound impact it had on her. She emphasized the importance of assigning meaning to experiences and believing in their potential, even if it seems unlikely. The speaker also highlighted the decision we make about the universe - whether it's friendly or hostile - and how that shapes our emotional responses. Overall, the discussion underscores the power of the human mind to transform seemingly ordinary experiences into meaningful and emotionally resonant moments. The speaker's book, which offers practical steps to unlocking the mind's potential, is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to harness this power in their own lives. The book is available in multiple languages and formats, including print and audiobook.

The book and audiobook by Mel Robbins are highly recommended for anyone looking to improve their lives, regardless of age or educational background. Grounded in science, these tools can be used immediately to foster a new, positive relationship with oneself. The book is phenomenal and listeners won't regret investing their time in it, especially if they listen to the audiobook to fully connect with Mel's intent. This life-changing information is free and accessible, making it a valuable resource for all. Subscribe for more inspiring content and remember, be legendary!