I read some notes today after a juicy meditation and such, and go down the list. Thoughts on "alone". Quick what is Gods will. An update on “the girl” (anti-climactic), which of course reminds me of a story! And some bad ass A Course In Miracles!
Episode notes:
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I’d written down some notes after I’d done my meditation and done the ACIM. I’d contemplated sin, I’d contemplated, I’d contemplated death, I’d contemplated… If I could see myself in others as sinless I could have that ultimate love. I love that idea I do.
I’m going to show some vulnerability and read them to you.
What do I fear about my words, about my jovialness, about my thoughts? I am scared to push people away and be alone. So what? It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. If I’m not being myself I’m going to not be bringing in the right people. They will not see me as authentic.
I literally can’t fuck it up! And I am alone anyway :). I.e not in a relationship. And I have a lot of alone time anyway. Ironically I am learning I am not alone… I am only alone with God. And I am a part of God and so is everyone else. So I am alone with everyone, all the time. The illusion of alone.
I am doing enough, I am enough, and so is everyone :). God has me doing what he wants me to do right now, because I am doing it. What’s Gods will? What’s happening right now. This old-timer told me that. A very wise man. “You know what Gods will is?” “It’s what’s happening right now.” God has me doing what he wants me to do right now, because I am doing it.
Update on the girl: Whahhh whahhh whahhh… It petered out so fast, before it even started… But it was fun to get a phone number.
Which reminded me of a story. Back when I was in Casper Community Collage, Harvard on the hill. My roommate Dave tells me… Talk to two new girls a day, a simple interaction, and you will find yourself a date and/or a girlfriend. He told me that and I applied it and the results were amazing. I put action out that way and this really cool girl showed up from somewhere else. She just plopped in. You can apply this to anything. I applied it to sales all the time. You apply action, the results will come, you just don’t know where from. I’ve never seen it fail. It may be as a direct result… or it may be from a perceived “random” occurrence :).
More ACIM stuff. “Nothing around you is but part of you…” “Look on it lovingly and see the light of heaven in it, so you will come to understand all that is given you.” Those were instructions.
Put your contempt aside and try it! That used to suss out contempt in me.
Everything I look at tomorrow, every person place or thing, I am going to try to consciously look on it lovingly, no matter what, and see the light of heaven in it. You know why? So I will come to understand that all is given me.
Let it rip. No apologies. And afford that to everyone else. Bam!
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