The Maltese Falcon: Birdy & Bogey

Surprisingly: ribbit. Disrobe for bathing banshees, mouthwatering meals, and parental pigs. The person most confused by the film this week was: the soot sprites after Kamajī union busted them.

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Goooooal!!! A movie for UK & Ireland lovers, football (/soccer) lovers, and lover lovers. The person most confused by the film this week was: England every four years, convinced it's coming home.

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Do you believe in life after Nicolas Cage? If we could turn back time, we wouldn't! Because Cher is perfect at every hour. SHE'S got US, babe. Tune in for pricey plumming, adulterous ancestors, and lupine love interests. The person most confused by the film this week was: the crying grandpa, bless him.

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*Sports buzzer buzz* Pass the ball this way for childhood crushes, basketball-themed boning, and ...some truly powerful discussions about gender and parenthood. The person most confused by the film this week was: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar after being unnecessarily roasted.

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The titular day! Wake up to Taylor & Taylor and also, inexplicably, some of the best actors of our time. The person most confused by the film this week was: Kristen Schaal in conversation with a very sexually honest teen.

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I'll watch what they're watching! Amble through autumn leaves for platonic pecks, unreal real estate, and tantalizing turtlenecks. The person most confused by the film this week was: any even remotely modern perception of Gender.

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*Wags tail* Jog around the arena to see every white character actor you have ever loved, all on the big screen, and all holding dogs. Sound like fun? Spoiler alert: It is! The person most confused by the film this week was: Jennifer Coolidge's husk of a husband.

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My father was an exceptional man… Join the procession for uncomfortable silences, extremely British humor, and Si(mon). The person most confused by the film this week was: the overbooked priest.

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FINALLY!!!!! Tossed Popcorn watched the movie they've been craving ever since starting their film journey. Tune in for a bummed-out Brosnan, a scared Skarsgård, and a flirty Firth. The person most confused by the film this week was: bisexuals everywhere.

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Shall I compare thee to a summer's slay? Enter stage left for drama club sex eye, well-made wigs, and, as is tradition on this list: Colin Firth. The person most confused by the film this week was: Siena. It was Siena.

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