Logo
    Search

    The science of sex, with Kate Moyle

    enSeptember 29, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Effective Communication for a Satisfying Sex Life and Healthy RelationshipsAddress uncomfortable topics, understand changing sexual needs during menopause, and openly discuss sexual preferences to strengthen connections and enhance overall well-being.

      Effective communication is essential for a satisfying sex life and healthy relationships. Psychosexual and relationship therapist Kate Moyle emphasizes the importance of addressing uncomfortable topics, such as changing sexual needs during menopause. Ignoring painful intercourse can lead to negative feelings towards partners and decreased desire. As a psychosexologist, Kate combines medical, hormonal, and psychological expertise to help individuals understand their sexuality and maximize pleasure. Openly discussing sexual preferences and exploring new horizons can strengthen connections and enhance overall well-being.

    • Open communication about sex is essential for healthy relationships and personal healthCommunicate desires, preferences, and concerns with partners or seek medical advice to improve relationships and potentially better health outcomes. Remember, perfect alignment is unlikely and communication is key to navigating differences.

      Open communication about sex is essential for healthy relationships and personal health. Despite the cultural taboo surrounding the topic, discussing desires, preferences, and concerns with partners or seeking medical advice when necessary can lead to better understanding, improved relationships, and potentially even better health outcomes. A common issue that arises in relationships is a mismatch in sexual desire, which can create tension and feelings of embarrassment or shame. However, it's important to remember that perfect sexual alignment is unlikely, and communication is key to navigating these differences. As we age, it becomes even more crucial to have open conversations about changing needs and desires. The initial euphoria of a new relationship may wear off, but this should not be seen as a negative, but rather an opportunity to discuss and explore new ways to connect sexually. The lack of education and normalized conversation around sex often leads individuals to assume that any changes in their sex lives are unique to them, but in reality, sex is a natural and evolving part of life.

    • Understanding Sex: Beyond BiologyRecognize that sex is influenced by biology, psychology, and society. Broadening our understanding can lead to more fulfilling experiences and healthier relationships.

      Sex is a complex experience influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors. These influences can shape our motivations for having sex, our experiences of desire and pleasure, and our definitions of what sex means to us. Traditional sex education often focuses on the biological aspects and neglects these other important dimensions. As a result, many people may feel pressured to conform to societal expectations of sex, limiting their experiences and potential for satisfaction. It's essential to broaden our understanding of sex and recognize that it can take many forms and be fulfilling in various ways. To navigate conversations about changing needs and desires in long-term relationships, it's important to approach the topic with sensitivity and openness, focusing on finding mutual understanding and exploration rather than imposing rigid definitions or expectations.

    • Approaching Sex Talk in Long-Term RelationshipsEffective communication, understanding motivations, and recognizing changing desires are crucial for maintaining a fulfilling sexual relationship in long-term partnerships.

      Effective communication is key when it comes to discussing sex in long-term relationships. Introducing the topic can be scary, but giving your partner a heads-up and approaching the conversation via an "L-shaped introduction" can help make it less intimidating. The motivation behind wanting to have sex, or the "why," is also important to consider, as it varies greatly from person to person. Understanding and articulating this reason can lead to deeper connection and a more fulfilling sexual relationship. Additionally, desire and motivation can change over the course of a relationship, and recognizing this and intentionally working to maintain sexual well-being can help keep the spark alive.

    • Understanding and addressing changes in desire in long-term relationshipsAcknowledging the brain's craving for novelty and addressing underlying feelings of shame or anxiety can help maintain intimacy and prevent distress caused by mismatched desires in long-term relationships.

      Recognizing and communicating about the natural changes in desire and sexual routines in long-term relationships is essential for maintaining intimacy and preventing mismatched desires from causing distress. Our brains crave novelty, and routines can lead to a decrease in sexual desire. Shame and anxiety can add to the unease surrounding sex, especially when it doesn't fit societal norms. It's important to remember that there is no one "right" way to have sex and that communication and taking calculated risks can help keep the spark alive. By acknowledging these realities and addressing any underlying feelings of shame or anxiety, couples can navigate the ebbs and flows of desire in their long-term relationships.

    • Understanding Unique Sexual ExperiencesSocietal norms and media can create unnecessary shame, but recognizing the uniqueness and validity of everyone's sexual experiences is essential. Clear communication, boundaries, mental health, and self-awareness are crucial for healthy and consensual relationships.

      Our perceptions and comparisons of sex, influenced by societal norms and media representations, can create unnecessary shame and pressure. It's essential to understand that everyone's sexual experiences and desires are unique and valid. Boundaries and clear communication are crucial in maintaining healthy and consensual sexual relationships. Overthinking and distraction can hinder the ability to stay present during sex, and mental health and self-awareness play significant roles. It's vital to recognize and communicate what turns us off as much as what turns us on, as our sexual experiences should adapt to our individual contexts. Ultimately, embracing the complexity and diversity of sexuality can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic experience.

    • Exploring Sexual Desires and Brain EngagementUnderstanding brain chemistry and novelty can enhance sexual experiences. Express love and appreciation with thoughtful gifts on special occasions. Online healthcare services offer convenient access to weight loss resources.

      Feeling comfortable and confident in expressing our sexual desires is important, whether it's with a long-term partner or someone new. Our brains and hormones play a role in our sexual experiences and desire. Novelty is key to keeping our brains engaged and can be as simple as changing one thing during intimacy. Arousal is influenced by hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, and understanding their roles can help us better understand our sexual desires. When it comes to celebrating special occasions like Mother's Day, places like Whole Foods Market and 1800flowers.com offer high-quality gifts and experiences to help us express our love and appreciation. And for those looking to start a weight loss journey, online services like PlushCare provide convenient access to healthcare professionals and weight loss medications.

    • Sexual desire and physical arousal influenced by hormones and psychologyHormonal changes and psychological factors impact sexual desire and arousal throughout life. Ovulation increases desire for some, while aging and menopause decrease it for others. Hormone replacement therapy can help regulate hormones and potentially increase desire. Testosterone levels influence morning readiness for sex in men.

      Our sexual desire and physical arousal are influenced by various hormonal and psychological factors throughout our menstrual cycle and throughout our lives. During ovulation, many people report feeling more sexually interested and physically turned on due to the regulation of progesterone. However, as we age, particularly during perimenopause and menopause, we may experience a decrease in sexual desire. Hormonal changes, such as the steady drop in testosterone and the presence of symptoms like anxiety and hot flashes, can negatively impact desire. For women, HRT can help regulate hormones and potentially increase desire. Men also experience hormonal fluctuations, with testosterone levels being highest in the morning, which might contribute to their morning readiness for sex. Hormonal changes and psychological factors can impact both men and women's sexual experiences, and it's essential to pay attention to any sudden changes in sexual function or desire, as they could be indicators of underlying health issues.

    • Stress and sexual dysfunction are linkedStress can impact arousal and performance, mindfulness practices can help, and addressing sexual health is important for overall well-being

      Stress and sexual dysfunction are closely linked. When people are highly stressed, they may experience sexual dysfunction due to the body's stress response, which can impact arousal and performance. The brain plays a significant role in arousal, responding to sexually relevant stimuli, and personal preferences and learned experiences also influence what turns us on. Mindfulness practices, such as focusing on pleasure and giving our attention to the physical sensations, can help improve arousal and enhance sexual experiences. For women going through menopause, physical changes such as vaginal atrophy can make sex uncomfortable, and using a high-quality lubricant can help alleviate these symptoms. It's important to destigmatize these conversations and view addressing sexual health as an essential part of overall well-being.

    • Menopause and Intimacy: Overcoming ChallengesMenopause symptoms like hot flashes, disturbed sleep, and vaginal dryness can make intimacy uncomfortable or painful. Hormone replacement therapy, sex toys, lubricants, and pelvic floor therapy can help improve sexual health and wellbeing.

      Menopause can bring about physical symptoms that make intimacy challenging for women, including hot flashes, disturbed sleep, and vaginal dryness. These symptoms can make penetration uncomfortable or even painful, leading to a need for space and potentially misunderstood as rejection. Hormone replacement therapy, including vaginal estrogen, can be a game-changer for many women experiencing these symptoms. Sex toys and lubricants can also help enhance sensation and make sex more comfortable. The pelvic floor is an essential part of sexual health for women, and being able to relax the muscles is just as important as tensing them. Women's health physiotherapy can be a valuable resource for addressing pelvic floor concerns and improving overall sexual health and wellbeing.

    • Maintaining a Fulfilling Sex Life Throughout the LifespanCommunicate, adapt, and prioritize safety to maintain a fulfilling sex life as we age, addressing physical and emotional challenges, and ensuring regular STI testing and pelvic floor exercises.

      As we age, our definitions and experiences of sex can change, and it's important to adapt and communicate with partners about any physical or emotional challenges. Foundational questions include defining sex and finding satisfaction. Adaptation may involve overcoming physical hurdles such as hormonal changes, injuries, or illnesses. Maintaining safe sex practices, including regular STI testing, is crucial at any age. Pelvic floor exercises can enhance orgasms and improve overall sexual health. Sexual health clinics, GPs, and home testing kits offer accessible options for STI testing. Communication, adaptation, and prioritizing safety are key to maintaining a fulfilling sex life throughout the lifespan.

    • The Liz Earle Well-being Show focuses on lesser-known menopause topics during OctoberThe Liz Earle Well-being Show offers ad-free episodes on menopause topics and Whole Foods Market has deals for Mother's Day shopping. Boll and Branch's sheets get softer with every wash and UnitedHealthcare TriTerm plans offer flexible health insurance coverage.

      During October, The Liz Earle Well-being Show is dedicating episodes to lesser-known menopause topics, some of which can be accessed ad-free with a subscription to the Lazar Well-being Show Plus. Additionally, Whole Foods Market offers deals for Mother's Day shopping, including body care and candles with a 33% discount and a 15 stem bunch of tulips for just £9.99. Boll and Branch's organic cotton sheets get softer with every wash, and UnitedHealthcare TriTerm medical plans offer budget-friendly, flexible coverage for health insurance needs. A chatbot might become a new friend, but the need for health insurance remains constant.

    Recent Episodes from The Liz Earle Wellbeing Show

    How to balance stress and live longer, with Dr Torkil Færo

    How to balance stress and live longer, with Dr Torkil Færo

    Do you wear any kind of fitness tracker? On this podcast, Dr Torkil Færø joins Liz to share how wearable pieces of tech can help us better understand our heart rate variability (HRV), and ultimately live a longer and healthier life.


    Torkil explains what our HRV can tell us about what's going on in our bodies - and how it this number can even alert you to serious health issues such as heart attacks and disease.


    Liz and Torkil discuss how we can optimise our HRV with our diet, exercise and lifestyle tweaks such as cold showers, supplements and fasting - plus, the impact alcohol can have here.


    The episode also covers how having a positive attitude to ageing may be able to help you live longer.


    Links mentioned in the episode:




    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Vaginal oestrogen could save your life, with Dr Rachel Rubin

    Vaginal oestrogen could save your life, with Dr Rachel Rubin

    With more than half of women experiencing at least one urinary tract infection in their lifetime, Liz chats to urologist and sexual medicine specialist Dr Rachel Rubin to reveal why UTIs must be taken more seriously.


    Rachel shares the realities of how dangerous UTIs can be, plus how the lack of knowledge on this common infection is just another example of medical misogyny.


    Rachel talks Liz through the symptoms of genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM) and how vaginal oestrogen could be lifesaving.


    Links mentioned in the episode:




    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Get fit in just 11 minutes, with Lavina Mehta

    Get fit in just 11 minutes, with Lavina Mehta

    Struggle to find the time to fit in your workouts? Award-winning personal trainer Lavina Mehta joins Liz to share how you can get fit with just 11 minutes of exercise every day.


    Lavina talks Liz through exercise ‘snacking’ and why this can be a better approach for midlife women, plus why we should exercise for sanity not vanity and prioritise strength over cardio. Liz and Lavina also reveal a simple trick to help mitigate glucose spikes after meals, and try out a live exercise snacking session.


    Links mentioned in the episode:




    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Finding love online in midlife, with Garance Doré

    Finding love online in midlife, with Garance Doré

    Have you ever used dating apps or websites? Beauty brand founder and author Garance Doré joins Liz to chat about how they both found love in the digital landscape. Garance reveals why she doesn’t fear heartbreak, and how our parents’ behaviour often influences our own with our partners.


    Liz and Garance also talk through their experiences of being in relationships with a significant age gap, and how this affects their perception of their own ageing bodies.


    Links mentioned in the episode:



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Are weight loss drugs too good to be true? – with Johann Hari

    Are weight loss drugs too good to be true? – with Johann Hari

    Can a 'magic pill' can fix the obesity epidemic - or are we creating even more problems? Author Johann Hari joins Liz on this podcast to discuss the benefits - and 12 potential risks - of new weight loss drugs, such as Ozempic.


    Johann reveals his motivations to use weight loss drugs personally, plus talks through shocking statistics on the realities of being overweight on our health.


    He also shares some of the positive effects that may come with these anti-obesity drugs beyond fat loss, along with the risks - including malnutrition and eating disorders.


    Meanwhile, Liz questions the true cost to our health here and whether we’re opening a Pandora’s box of unknown adverse effects when considering these drugs.


    CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains bad language and frank chat about suicide, sexual assault, and eating disorders, so please take care while listening.


    Links mentioned in the episode:



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Why your UTIs keep coming back, with Dr Kate Stephens

    Why your UTIs keep coming back, with Dr Kate Stephens

    Do you struggle with urinary tract infections (UTIs)? Dr Kate Stephens, a doctor of microbiology specialising in the human microbiome, joins Liz to share how we can better support our vaginal microbiome and avoid recurring UTIs.


    In this episode, brought to you in partnership with Optibac, Kate and Liz discuss the common causes of UTIs and why perimenopause and menopause often leave us more vulnerable to them.


    Liz and Kate talk through the best bacteria strains for intimate health, and address old wives’ tales - like whether cranberry juice can fight a UTI.


    Links mentioned in the episode:




    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Are we too shy of the sun? - with Dr Leland Stillman

    Are we too shy of the sun? - with Dr Leland Stillman

    Have we become too shy of the sun or are we right to be extra cautious? Dr Leland Stillman joins Liz to share why he believes current advice about sun exposure is only skin deep.


    Leland discusses his perspective on how light impacts our eyes and our overall wellbeing, and Liz questions whether we can really avoid damaging our skin when seeking more sunlight.


    Leland shares how he keeps his skin safe in the sun plus how light may impact the gut, while Liz asks whether a vitamin D supplement is the same as getting it from light itself.


    Links mentioned in the episode:




    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Healthy fats, weight loss and ‘reversing’ diabetes, with Eric Edmeades

    Healthy fats, weight loss and ‘reversing’ diabetes, with Eric Edmeades

    You’ve likely heard of pre-diabetes. But what about post-diabetes? Serial entrepreneur and Wild Fit founder Eric Edmeades joins Liz to share why we need to change our approach to type 2 diabetes - along with the practical changes needed to reverse it.


    Liz and Eric discuss why we should view type 2 diabetes as more of an injury rather than a disease with a life-long sentence, plus why it’s important to distinguish between pre- and post-diabetic in healthcare plans.


    They also cover the benefits of ketosis and autophagy, the importance of cutting down on sugar for our health, and other lifestyle changes that we can make to cut the risk of pre-diabetes.


    Links mentioned in the episode:




    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Is mould sabotaging your health? - with Dr John Kim

    Is mould sabotaging your health? - with Dr John Kim

    Do you struggle with keeping mould at bay in your home? Functional medicine pharmacist Dr John Kim joins Liz to take a deep dive into the impacts mould may be having on our health.


    Inside this episode, John and Liz discuss whether everyday household mould might be the cause of sickness, and how mould could have even played a role in Liz’s daughter's own ill-health over the years.


    John and Liz also cover how to avoid mould getting inside food - such as coffee and grains - why juice cleanses can't actually detox the body effectively, and other endocrine disruptors that may be lurking in our homes.


    Links mentioned in the episode:



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Reduce your risk of Alzheimer's disease, with Patrick Holford

    Reduce your risk of Alzheimer's disease, with Patrick Holford

    With one in 11 people currently suffering from dementia in the UK, Liz chats with Patrick Holford, founder of the Institute for Optimum Nutrition, to learn how we can reduce our risk of Alzheimer's disease.


    Patrick, who is also the chief executive of the Food for the Brain Foundation, talks Liz through the role omega-3s and B vitamins play in protecting our brains, and they also discuss 30 factors associated with a heightened risk of Alzheimer's.


    Liz and Patrick cover foods to include in your diet, such as eggs and nuts, and the foods to avoid (spoiler: sugar!), plus key supplements that might help to protect our brains from cognitive decline.


    Links mentioned in the episode:




    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.


    Related Episodes

    Let’s Talk About Sex (w/ My Mom)

    Let’s Talk About Sex (w/ My Mom)
    Yes, it’s true: I’m talking with my own mother today about sex. A ton of you have asked me how I got into the sex education business in the first place: now, you get to hear from the person who raised me! First, my mom and I talk about her sexual journey, coming up in a time when open communication around sex wasn’t normalized and female pleasure wasn’t valued. She also helps me your questions on sex and relationships, like how to give a partner feedback when they’re doing something that turns you off, what to do if menopause is tanking your sex drive, how to negotiate with your partner when you’ve got different definitions of cheating, and how to approach a partner who does NOT want to spice up your sex life – but you’re dying for some variety.  Show Notes: The Future of Sex Tech The Sexiest Morning Routine Ever PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure SMART SEX PRIZE PACK (submit your pre-order proof of purchase at the bottom of the page, be entered to win the prize pack and everyone that enters receives a copy of my new and improved Yes! No! Maybe? Guide) Playground Lube (code SEXWITHEMILY for 15% off your 1st order) I Gave My Friend a Magic Wand Mini. Here’s Why. MagBreakthrough.com/SexWithEmily (code SexWithEmily10 for 10% off) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    What’s Your Arousal Type?

    What’s Your Arousal Type?
    What do you need to get in the mood for sex? Have a lively conversation? Be touched in a suggestive way? Put on something sexy…or, have your partner get dressed up for you? Today’s episode is all about arousal styles, and today, I’ll be looking at five. The science of sexual arousal is ever-evolving, but on this show I’m looking at some of the most common ways people get turned on (through conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure), helping you ID what your style is, and what behaviors you can do in the moment to get it going. Kind of like love languages, but for sex. I’m also talking about the difference between arousal and desire, and, taking your questions! How to have sex when you’re stressed, anti-depressants numbing out your vulva, and if it’s OK to be more excited for masturbation than partnered sex.  Show Notes: There Are 5 Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Sex Up Your Love Language Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex w/ Ian Kerner  The Yes No Maybe List You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 1 You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 2 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Are Emojis the New Mating Call?

    Are Emojis the New Mating Call?
    When it comes to sex and dating, it can be hard to tell where you’ve gone wrong. You may think you’re speaking the language of love, but are you speaking the right one? On today’s show, Emily is giving her expert advice on common sex and dating dilemmas to get you headed in the right direction for great sex! Should you be concerned if your boyfriend ISN’T masturbating? How do you give a killer blowjob when your mouth’s too small and he’s too big? When’s the right time to stop the casual dating and dive back into something serious? Emily and Menace give their insight on these issues and more, including which emojis will most likely get a you a text back! Listen in and find out! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    SWE: Sex Myths

    SWE: Sex Myths
    Never tell your current partner that your last partner was good in bed. They don’t want to hear the amazing things this person did in bed or anything about the size of anything.  Emily goes through the biggest sex myths, from penis size to female ejaculation. Plus, how men can learn to have multiple orgasms. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Hotline Calls: Squirting, Toys & Threesomes

    Hotline Calls: Squirting, Toys & Threesomes
    We all want to grow and become better versions of ourselves. And no where is that more true than our sex lives. That’s the mission of today’s call-in show. I answer your questions all about picking up new sex skills. From a fun-loving couple who wants to incorporate others into their play but can’t find the right candidates, to a twenty-something who wants to learn how to squirt on her own - these brave callers’ questions offer something for everyone to learn from.  In this episode, you’ll learn: How to find solid friends with benefits Masturbation techniques The anatomy of the vulva! See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com. Show Notes: The Psychology of Your Kink How to Squirt (For Real) Promescent.com/Emily (use this link to automatically save 15% at checkout) Playground Lube Je Joue Mimi Je Joue Hera Magic Wand Insertion Toys Dual Stimulation Toys #Open SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $69) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.