In this episode, Tracy J. Edmonds, the author of Wild Hair and the owner of TJE Coaching and Consulting, explains how authenticity can disrupt gender bias, help us connect with others, and transform women into more effective and visible leaders.
Subscribe! Time-stamped show notes are below.
Intro
1:20 Tracy J. Edmonds is a mom, coach, consultant, and author of Wild Hair
Episode Breakdown
1:55 In today’s episode we discuss:
- What is authenticity and how do we discover who we are
- How does authenticity impact leadership, working moms, vulnerability, and workplace culture
- How does authenticity relate to each element of the Parity Prescription and practical advice for listeners striving to be authentic at work
Who is Tracy J. Edmonds?
2:35 Recovering corporate soldier, 31 year corporate veteran, former Chief Diversity Officer of Fortune 500 company
2:53 Pivoting to entrepreneurship and unlearning in order to chart a new path
3:00 Now coaches women and offers diversity consulting - TJE Coaching & Consulting, LLC
What is authenticity?
3:30 Important for women to be authentic but it is challenging in male-dominated organizations and industries
4:00 Definitions of authentic, Webster's definition
4:12 Authenticity is also being true to yourself
4:40 We all have different lived experiences and being true to ourselves is different for each of us
How do we discover our own authenticity?
5:15 Discovering your own authenticity is challenging
5:30 Don’t assume that you know who you are
5:54 We are often defined by expectations of others
6:16 Discovering your own authenticity is a journey and takes time
6:20 4 principles of authenticity
- Self honesty - look internally about who you are and what you want
- Courage - how do you put your fear in action
- Confidence - have a healthy respect for who you are and your abilities
- Resilience - stay the course over a lifetime
7:50 Tracy’s motivation to write Wild Hair
8:55 Tracy’s moments of dissonance or disagreements between her authentic self and what was expected of her
9:15 Tracy straightened her hair for many years
10:25 As the Chief Diversity Officer, she decided to make a change and wear her hair naturally - this was Tracy’s “wild hair moment”
10:55 Tracy’s actions were freeing for many women, particularly Black women
11:50 Too much emphasis on women’s appearances and impact of COVID
12:45 COVID created chaos but that gives us the opportunity to make change
How does authenticity impact leadership, working moms, vulnerability, and workplace culture?
14:40 People rate women highly on leadership skills but men recieve more leadership roles
15:00 Authentic leadership can help women be seen inside organizations and disrupt unconscious bias
15:45 Women don’t need to check the box for all requirements to lean in and seek leadership opportunities
17:00 It is empowering for women to think about:
- What is it that I do that no one else can?
- What makes me unique?
- What impact can I make through what I have and what I do?
18:30 Increased focus on mothers due to COVID
19:05 Understanding your own authenticity can help you navigate motherhood/parenthood
19:45 Story of woman preparing for maternity leave
20:55 Greatest challenge is when we’re out of integrity with ourselves (ie, working instead of attending a baseball game or vice versa)
21:40 Easy for us to “lose ourselves” as we struggle to keep up with work and personal life
23:10 Navigating careers and work-life balance is easier when there are male allies providing support
23:42 Importance of vulnerability in being authentic
24:50 Only be vulnerable when it adds value - being overly vulnerable or giving TMI can be harmful
25:30 Underrepresented groups have more on the line than others so we need to be careful about vulnerability
26:23 Being authentically vulnerable can create authentic connections
28:23 Tips for being vulnerable:
- Always add value when seeking new connections
- Give context to your story
- Speak a universal truth
30:35 When is it time to leave your job? Consider, what are your goals/values and can your organization help you meet those goals/values
30:45 Changing culture is challenging to execute and takes time
34:20 Maya Angelou quote: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
34:25 Great Resignation: We can't unsee what we saw and unlearn progress like acceleration of digitization and success of WFH.
36:33 COVID caused us to reprioritize our lives
37:02 Work is an activity and not a place
How does authenticity relate to each element of the Parity Prescription and practical advice for listeners striving to be authentic at work?
38:50 The Parity Prescription is:
Stop Trying to Change Women
Create Diverse Teams
Recognize Unconscious Bias
Intentionally Include
Partner with Men as Allies
Talk About the Issues
39:27 How can women resist the very real pressure to conform?
40:45 Many women feel pressure to conform - don’t work where you are “less than” or must conform, but have a plan before walking out the door
42:00 When women are on boards and in senior leadership roles, organizations have better financial outcomes
42:27 Men can be terrific allies and are often those men with daughters or who are married to BIPOC women
43:10 Tips to detect pressure to conform
44:40 We all show up in different ways and leaders don’t always look the same
45:00 Example of woman who conformed and modeled the behavior of men to get to the top but it took her 2x as long as her male peers
46:25 Women experience unconscious bias in different ways
47:18 Black women have additional unconscious biases to navigate - intersectionality is a challenge
48:18 Trust can be a challenge for women at work
50:30 Story of how authenticity can disrupt unconscious bias
52:57 Practical tips to increase inclusion
- Remember that the world is bigger than your backyard
- Work with different people
- Make sure the introverts have space to speak up on calls
- Be willing to be vulnerable
- Have a learning mindset
56:18 Effective male allies need to be vulnerable and admit that they don’t know everything; reflect on times when they were in a group, didn’t fit in, and they knew it.
59:55 The shadow of top leaders creates culture and they need to set the tone so that it is ok to talk about the issues
Where You Can Find Us
Website: www.par-ity.com
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn
Co-Hosts: Deborah Pollack-Milgate and Cathy Nestrick
Today’s Guest: Tracy J. Edmonds
Email CathyAndDeborah@par-ity.com with questions or comments
