Podcast Summary
Prioritizing Clients in Helping Professions: Selfless action and focusing on clients in therapy sessions can lead to more effective therapeutic relationships, despite the counterintuitive nature of today's social media-driven world.
Selfless action and focus on others can be a powerful choice for those in helping professions, even in a world that often rewards self-promotion. Helen Marie, a trauma therapist, shared her experience of prioritizing her clients in therapy sessions and being mindful of self-disclosure on social media. While it may be counterintuitive in today's social media-driven world, this approach allows for a more effective and focused therapeutic relationship. Additionally, Helen's upcoming book, "Choose You," offers tools for understanding oneself and putting oneself first when appropriate. If you're interested in these topics, consider ordering "Unstressable" and "Choose You" together to support the mission of helping people overcome stress.
Navigating authenticity vs popularity online: Stay true to oneself while considering impact on wider audience, prioritize personal connections, and find balance to avoid feeling chewed up by societal expectations.
Navigating the balance between staying true to oneself and gaining popularity online can be a challenging experience. The speaker shares their personal experience of facing discrimination in media, where they were preferred over their co-author despite her equal contributions to their book. They discuss the importance of standing up for what's right while also considering the potential impact of reaching out to a larger audience. The speaker emphasizes the importance of personal connections and the relatability factor in building a following, but also acknowledges the struggle with maintaining authenticity while conforming to societal expectations. Ultimately, they suggest that finding a balance and coming to terms with one's own truth is crucial to avoiding feeling chewed up by the world's demands.
Embracing uniqueness and healing from trauma: Recognizing individual strengths and providing space for growth can positively impact mental health. Trauma healing involves understanding societal contexts and seeking community support.
Kindness and understanding can make all the difference in allowing individuals to feel comfortable in their own skin and focus on their strengths, rather than feeling pressured to conform to societal expectations. Helen, a therapist, shared her experience of being recognized for her unique abilities and being given the space to grow, which significantly impacted her work and personal growth. Trauma, another topic discussed, is a complex issue with various forms and origins. While it can have profound impacts on individuals, it's essential to consider how societal contexts and support networks shape our understanding and response to trauma. Helen's work focuses on empowering individuals to recognize their power to respond to their experiences and heal, drawing inspiration from philosophers like Heidegger. The importance of community and support networks in addressing trauma and mental health issues was also highlighted, as seen in the example of a doctor in East London who used gardening to bring isolated individuals together.
Connecting to community and nature boosts mental health: Engaging in community activities and spending time in nature can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, leading to improved mental well-being
The power of community and connection to nature can significantly improve mental health and lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety. This was observed in a gardening group and during the COVID-19 pandemic when individuals were isolated. The connection to others, nature, and oneself is essential for well-being, as seen in tribal communities and even through simple actions like walking barefoot on grass. The scientific community also supports the benefits of nature for trauma sufferers. For instance, EMDR therapy, which uses eye movements to reprocess traumatic memories, was discovered when its founder, Frances Shapiro, noticed feeling better after taking a walk in nature. Thus, prioritizing community and nature connection can have a profound impact on mental health.
The connection between eye movement and stress response: Expanding our window of tolerance through intentional self-care and understanding past experiences can improve our response to stress
Our ability to handle stress and respond appropriately to events is shaped by our past experiences and the size of our "window of tolerance." The speaker, Helen, shares how she noticed the connection between eye movement and brain processing during a stressful year, which led her to research and incorporate this technique into therapy. Her resilience to stress now, despite a challenging year, can be attributed to her expanded window of tolerance, allowing her to differentiate between the event and her past trauma. This is a crucial concept for everyone to understand, as many of us are often triggered without realizing it, and expanding our window of tolerance requires intentional self-care and understanding of our past experiences.
Reconnecting with our humanity: Practice self-compassion, acceptance, and understanding of our own nervous system responses to live authentically and compassionately.
We often approach being human with a lack of understanding and self-awareness, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed and out of control. It's important to prioritize self-compassion, acceptance, and understanding of our own nervous system responses to show up for ourselves and others in a compassionate and authentic way. We are not machines or robots, but living, feeling beings. A simple exercise to help reconnect with our bodies and sense of self is to literally pat and feel the form of our body. Children naturally embody this self-compassionate and accepting approach to life, but as we grow older, we can become anchored to our thoughts and judgments, leading to struggle and stress. Embracing our humanity and getting out of our cognitive minds can help us live more fully and authentically. Even activities like video gaming can provide valuable lessons in dealing with difficult situations and practicing resilience.
Accepting the present moment and childhood experiences: Recognizing and accepting the present moment and addressing childhood trauma can lead to peace and self-growth.
Embracing the present moment and accepting things as they are can lead to a sense of calm and elation. Childhood experiences, including trauma, shape us significantly and can impact our attachment styles and belief systems as adults. Instead of trying to change or fight things, meeting them where they are can lead to a more peaceful perspective. Incessant thinking is a negative influence, and thoughts should be either useful or joyful. It's essential to recognize and address childhood trauma, as it can manifest in various ways and impact our adult relationships and self-belief. Seeking support and therapy can be beneficial for those who have experienced neglect or other forms of trauma.
Childhood experiences shape adult relationships: Understanding past patterns and becoming self-aware can help heal wounds and build healthier relationships
Our past experiences, particularly those related to unmet needs and relationships, can significantly impact our adult lives. Unaddressed childhood shame or grief can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, while attachment styles formed in childhood can repeat in adult relationships. These patterns can be difficult to observe, but becoming self-aware and understanding the role we play in our relationships is crucial for healing and creating healthier connections. Relationships can serve as windows into our wounds, and failing to address these patterns can lead to repeated unhappiness and conflict. It's essential to start exploring these patterns through self-help resources, therapy, or open communication with our partners. Remember, the common denominator in our past failed relationships might be us, and understanding our role can help us break these cycles and build stronger, more fulfilling connections.
Recognizing our role in our challenges: Realizing we're the common denominator in our struggles and acknowledging our part in the situation can help us make intentional choices for personal growth.
We have a role to play in the challenges we face, and focusing solely on the actions of others can hinder our personal growth. Mo shares her experience of constantly pushing herself to the brink of burnout, attributing it to external factors, but realizing that she was the common denominator. This pattern of behavior, driven by a fear of not being good enough, keeps us in a state of survival mode, preventing us from making healthy decisions. By acknowledging our part in the situation and making our bodies feel safe, we can come back online and make intentional choices. It's essential to question whether we truly want the things we think we desire and strive for self-acceptance.
Choose Yourself Authentically: Identify passions and strengths, make choices aligned with heart and intuition, and positively impact others through authentic living.
It's essential to identify what we're naturally good at and passionate about, rather than striving for something we're not. This authentic approach to life leads to making choices that align with our heart and intuition, even if they're difficult. By choosing ourselves, we create a life that feels good, enabling us to show up differently and positively impact those around us. In therapy, this concept is applied by not focusing on unhealthy choices but instead encouraging clients to choose themselves in a healthy way, leading to the gradual replacement of harmful habits with positive ones.
Small choices can lead to big impacts: Setting boundaries, reading to your child, and practicing self-care can lead to positive changes in your life and relationships.
Making small, intentional choices for yourself, such as reading to your child or setting healthy habits, can lead to significant positive changes in your life and the lives of those around you. Boundaries are an essential aspect of self-care and can help keep relationships healthy and prevent burnout. Setting boundaries involves identifying what feels right for you and taking steps to honor those feelings, even when others may challenge them. Using visualization techniques, such as considering how setting or not setting a boundary might feel, can help guide decision-making. Additionally, reducing the intensity of stressors and adding joy to your life through simple pleasures can help manage stress and maintain a healthy emotional balance.
Setting healthy boundaries: Self-care and advocacy for your needs: Setting boundaries is a choice for self-respect and self-love, not a sign of weakness. Prioritize self-care to handle challenges and communicate effectively.
Setting healthy boundaries is a choice that requires self-care and advocacy for your needs. Unconquered boundaries are those that seem out of reach but can be set with determination. When we prioritize self-care, we gain the capacity to handle challenging situations and communicate effectively. This applies not only to friendships but also to relationships and business deals. It's important to remember that setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of self-respect and self-love. Communication, honesty, and vulnerability are key in opening up channels for healthy relationships. However, not everyone has the tools to do so. The bestseller lists may be confusing, but ultimately, what truly matters is the value and impact of the content we create.
The Power of Sharing Knowledge and Experiences for Inner Calm: Sharing knowledge and experiences about managing stress and finding inner calm can positively impact individuals and society. Prioritize self-care and spread messages of positivity to help others discover tools for peace.
The power of sharing knowledge and experiences, especially when it comes to managing stress and finding inner calm, can have a profound impact on individuals and society as a whole. Helen and Alice's conversation highlights the importance of prioritizing self-care and spreading messages of positivity and calmness in a world that can often feel overwhelming. The universe may bring messages to people when they are ready to receive them, but we can also take active steps to help spread these messages and make a difference in the lives of others. By following Helen's work and sharing what we learn, we can help more people discover the tools they need to manage stress and find inner peace. Ultimately, by slowing down and prioritizing our own well-being, we can make a positive impact on ourselves and those around us.