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    What your sex life might be missing, with Charlene Douglas

    enJuly 19, 2024
    Why is open conversation about sex important for relationships?
    What challenges do people face with intimacy during menopause?
    How can sex therapy assist with improving intimacy?
    What role does sex education play in breaking sexual taboos?
    How can couples address issues like performance anxiety and premature ejaculation?

    Podcast Summary

    • Sexual intimacy during menopauseSeeking help from a sex therapist or engaging in self-reflection exercises can lead to improved intimacy during menopause despite physical and emotional challenges. Breaking the taboo around sex through education is essential for healthy exploration and understanding.

      Having an open and honest conversation about sex and our relationship with it is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships. Many people, especially during menopause, struggle with intimacy due to various physical and emotional challenges. Yet, seeking help from a sex therapist or engaging in self-reflection through exercises like word association games can lead to better understanding and improved intimacy. Unfortunately, there's still a taboo around sex, making it difficult for people to speak openly about their concerns. By addressing the emotions and memories associated with sex, individuals can become more aware of their triggers and learn to navigate their sexual experiences with greater awareness and confidence. Sex education plays a crucial role in breaking the taboo and equipping people with the knowledge they need to explore their sexual selves in a healthy and pleasurable way.

    • Pleasure in sex educationLack of open conversations about pleasure in sex education can lead to confusion, anxiety, and misunderstanding for women, resulting in discomfort and unfulfillment in sexual relationships. Encouraging open discussions can empower women to make informed decisions and enjoy their sexual experiences.

      The lack of open and honest conversations about pleasure in sex education can lead to confusion, anxiety, and misunderstanding around sex for women. This hesitancy to discuss pleasure may stem from a focus on preventing unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, leading to the pleasure aspect being deliberately downplayed. As a result, many women grow up feeling uncomfortable and unsure about their own desires and agency in sexual relationships. This can carry on into midlife, where women may feel unfulfilled and seek out therapy to reclaim their sexuality and pleasure. It's essential to challenge societal stereotypes and encourage open conversations about pleasure and sexual health to empower women to make informed decisions and enjoy their sexual experiences.

    • Sexual scripts and societal normsSocietal norms and taboos surrounding sex, particularly for women, can lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment, perpetuating a cycle of dissatisfaction. Open and honest conversations about sex and prioritizing pleasure and desire can help challenge these harmful scripts.

      Societal norms and taboos surrounding sex, particularly for women in heterosexual relationships, can lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in sexual encounters. Women may feel obligated to have sex out of duty rather than desire, leading to a cycle of dissatisfaction. The shame and embarrassment surrounding sexual discussions, especially for older generations, can prevent open and honest conversations about sex and its importance in relationships. This can result in ignoring or dismissing issues that impact sexual health and pleasure, such as vaginal dryness or emotional connection. To break free from these harmful sexual scripts, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about sex, prioritize pleasure and desire, and challenge societal norms that perpetuate shame and obligation.

    • Senses in Sexual ExperienceUnderstanding individual preferences in senses for sexual arousal and pleasure, beyond touch, is essential for a fulfilling sexual experience. Communication and honesty are also crucial in maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship.

      Exploring and understanding what senses ignite desire and pleasure for each individual is crucial for a fulfilling and enjoyable sexual experience. Society often focuses on touch as the primary sense for sexual arousal, but not everyone shares this preference. Women, in particular, may find that auditory feedback, such as verbal compliments or erotica, enhances their sexual experience. Communication and honesty are also essential in maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship. Understanding what turns us on and off can help us let go and surrender to the vulnerability of intimacy, ultimately leading to greater connection and pleasure.

    • Female Anatomy and Sexual PleasureEffective communication, exploration of the clitoris, and prioritizing pleasure are crucial for a fulfilling sex life. Men should not rush into intercourse without sufficient foreplay and should prioritize emotional and sexual connection.

      There's more to sex than penetration and orgasm. Communication, exploration, and understanding the female anatomy are crucial for a fulfilling sex life. The clitoris, with its numerous nerve endings, is a vast and complex organ, and focusing on external stimulation can lead to greater pleasure. Men often rush into intercourse without sufficient foreplay, missing out on opportunities to connect emotionally and sexually with their partners. It's essential to prioritize pleasure, communication, and intimacy in sexual relationships, and not feel pressured to conform to societal stereotypes or expectations. Additionally, exploring one's body through masturbation can help individuals understand their preferences and desires. Overall, the key is to approach sex with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to learn and grow.

    • Relationship communicationEffective communication and regular check-ins are vital for maintaining a healthy relationship. Schedule conversations to discuss feelings, needs, and experiences, and approach sensitive topics with care and sensitivity.

      Effective communication and regular check-ins are essential for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Just as we schedule meetings at work to discuss progress and address issues, it's crucial to make time for open conversations with our partners about our feelings, needs, and experiences. This can be done in a variety of settings and through various methods, such as scheduled date nights or casual conversations during shared activities. When discussing sensitive topics like sex, it's important to approach the conversation with care and sensitivity, focusing on positive reinforcement and open dialogue. These practices can help prevent feelings of disconnection and ensure that both partners feel heard, understood, and valued in the relationship.

    • Effective Communication in Sexual RelationshipsExpressing desires and dislikes positively and respectfully, taking personal responsibility for pleasure and education, being aware of porn's potential dangers, and using a safe word for comfort and safety.

      Effective communication is key to a satisfying sexual relationship. Expressing your desires and dislikes in a positive and respectful way can help your partner understand and meet your needs. It's also important to take personal responsibility for your own sexual pleasure and education. Porn can be a source of exploration and education, but it's crucial to be aware of its potential dangers, such as unrealistic expectations and consent issues. Parents and caregivers have a role in having open and honest conversations about sex with young people to help them make informed decisions and understand healthy boundaries. A safe word is a communication tool used in sexual activities to signal that a partner needs to slow down or stop due to discomfort or uneasiness. It's essential to establish a safe word and use it when necessary to ensure both partners feel comfortable and safe during sexual activities.

    • Sexual communication and menopauseEffective communication is vital in addressing sensitive topics like consent and menopause during sexual activities. Using a safe word can help clarify consent, and open communication and self-acceptance are crucial for dealing with the physical and emotional challenges of menopause. Seek medical intervention if necessary and understand common aging challenges to adapt and support each other.

      Effective communication is essential in maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship, especially during sensitive topics like consent and menopause. Using a safe word can help clarify consent during sexual activities. For couples dealing with menopause, it's important to address the physical and emotional challenges and seek medical intervention if necessary. From a psychological perspective, open communication and self-acceptance are crucial for navigating the changes that come with aging and maintaining intimacy. Additionally, understanding the common challenges that come with aging, such as erectile dysfunction, can help couples adapt and support each other.

    • Sexual communicationOpen communication between partners can help alleviate anxiety and improve sexual experiences for both men and women by addressing psychological issues and enhancing understanding and acceptance.

      Communication plays a crucial role in addressing sexual dysfunctions and enhancing sexual experiences for both partners. For men, performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction can be linked to psychological issues, and open communication with their partners can help alleviate these concerns. Women, on the other hand, may experience subtle signs of readiness and can benefit from their partners' understanding and acceptance. Premature ejaculation can also be caused by anxiety and stress, and couples can explore different approaches, such as communication, sexual exploration, and relaxation techniques, to manage the issue. Ultimately, focusing on the journey of sexual experiences, rather than just the orgasm, can lead to more enjoyable and fulfilling experiences for both partners.

    • Midlife dating criteriaHaving clear dating criteria and staying true to your own values is essential in midlife dating. Create a desirable and essential list to ensure fulfilling connections.

      When it comes to dating in midlife, having clear criteria and staying true to your own values is crucial. Debbie shared her experience using dating apps and emphasized the importance of having an essential and desirable criteria list. Faye also shared her personal story of finding love online when she was feeling isolated. The Lizelle Wellbeing Show has featured several guests discussing various aspects of sex and relationships, including Samantha Evans on body-safe lubes and sex toys, Kate Moyle on expanding sexual horizons, Dr. Rachel Rubin on addressing dryness and recurrent UTIs, and Lucy Barrisford on conducting annual relationship audits. If you're interested in these topics and want to listen ad-free, consider subscribing to the show on Apple Podcasts for a small monthly fee and early access to new episodes.

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