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    Why Men are So Toxic Towards Women w/ Nick Grajeda - Dropouts #167

    en-usSeptember 05, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • A lighthearted conversation about a past pregnancy scare and El ChapoThe guests shared a humorous yet sensitive conversation about a past pregnancy scare involving someone with a 'build the wall' tattoo, and joked about possible drug smuggling connections to El Chapo. They also discussed their experiences in the entertainment industry and the transactional nature of the business.

      During this podcast episode, the guests had an unexpected and humorous conversation with each other. One topic that came up was a past pregnancy scare involving someone named Jared, who has a "build the wall" tattoo. The conversation took a turn when one of the guests jokingly suggested that Jared might have been involved in drug smuggling or had connections to El Chapo. The conversation was lighthearted but touched on sensitive topics like immigration and racism. The guests also mentioned their experiences with the entertainment industry and how it can be transactional. They also shared some personal stories and jokes, some of which were too explicit for YouTube and could only be heard on their Patreon. Overall, the episode showcased the guests' unique dynamic and their ability to find humor in everyday situations.

    • Approaching Women at Emotional Moments in ClubsThe speaker shares his unconventional approach to meeting women at clubs by approaching them during emotional moments, but the method raises ethical concerns.

      The speaker shares his unconventional approach to meeting women at clubs by approaching them during emotional moments. He has had some success with this method, but it has also failed several times. He described his dance moves as simple and depending on the crowd. The conversation took an unexpected turn when the speaker revealed that his mother immigrated to the United States when she was young. Despite some challenges, she seemed to be content with her life. The speaker also mentioned that he and his friend often have different dance moves in the club. The conversation was filled with humor and light-hearted banter. However, the speaker's method of approaching women in vulnerable moments raises ethical concerns. It is essential to consider the potential harm and emotional impact on the women involved.

    • The Power of Personal Experiences and Cultural Backgrounds in Shaping Perceptions and RelationshipsOur upbringing, experiences, and cultural backgrounds significantly impact our perceptions and relationships. Personal stories can provide valuable insights into the complexities of love and life.

      The speaker's upbringing and experiences have shaped her perspectives on her parents' relationship and the role of cultural differences in love. She believes her mother married her father for a green card due to their different appearances and last names, but now thinks they may have grown to love each other. The speaker also shares her fondness for her mother's cooking, particularly enchiladas, and describes the experience of tasting them in vivid detail. The conversation also touches on the speaker's podcast, Suburb Talks, which she started with limited equipment in 2020. Despite its humble beginnings, she cherishes the memories of creating it. The conversation ends with the speakers sharing a laugh about their similar experiences and perspectives. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of personal experiences and cultural backgrounds in shaping our perceptions and relationships.

    • Authenticity and diversity in content can increase engagementCombining relatable content and diverse perspectives can significantly boost audience engagement and resonance, as demonstrated by a car discussion podcast's success on TikTok

      The combination of authentic, relatable content and diverse perspectives can significantly increase engagement and resonance with an audience. This was demonstrated through the success of a car discussion podcast that started as a parody teaching men how to approach women, which gained massive popularity on TikTok. The dynamic shifted when women were brought on as guests, leading to even more views and a more inclusive and respectful conversation. The success of the podcast can be attributed to its authenticity, relatability, and the unique blend of perspectives. The discussion also highlighted the power of platforms like TikTok and YouTube in amplifying and monetizing content that resonates with audiences.

    • Navigating Friendships in Creative ProjectsCommunication and prioritizing friendships are key to maintaining a successful and supportive creative partnership, even when faced with challenges like monetization, boundaries, and unexpected situations.

      Working with friends on a creative project, like a podcast, can come with unique challenges. Money and arguments can blur the lines of friendship, leading to awkward situations. However, with time and experience, these issues can be navigated. The group from Suburb Talks, who grew up together, have learned to balance their professional and personal relationships. They've faced challenges like monetization, boundaries, and even a pregnancy scare, but they've managed to keep their project going. They've learned to communicate effectively and prioritize their friendships, even when it gets complicated. Despite the occasional hiccups, they've figured out how to maintain a successful and supportive creative partnership.

    • A mix of personal stories and shared experiencesThey connected through their vulnerability and shared stories, discussing relationships, aspirations, allergies, mental health, and Halloween.

      The conversation between the two individuals was filled with a mix of light-hearted and more serious topics. The man shared his past experiences with relationships and revealed his aspiration to be a musician. The woman discussed her allergies and mental health issues, and they bonded over their shared dislike of Halloween. The conversation also touched upon their experiences with costumes and revealed that they have a Patreon account for their content. Despite the varying topics, the conversation flowed naturally and showcased their ability to connect on different levels. The man's revelation about his musical aspirations was particularly noteworthy, as he shared a recording of himself singing as a child. Overall, the conversation showcased the individuals' vulnerability and willingness to share personal stories, making for an engaging and meaningful exchange.

    • Hosts share their first sexual experiencesEach host had unique experiences losing their virginity, from uneventful to memorable, and discussed TikTok trends and their first live show.

      The hosts of the podcast had very different experiences during their first sexual encounters. While one host shared a rather uneventful story, another shared an experience that was longer and more memorable. They also discussed their experiences with TikTok trends, such as the "mocha coffee" trend, and shared their thoughts on losing their virginity in explicit detail. The podcast also featured their first live show, which they described as an amazing experience filled with energy from the crowd and interaction with their best friends. Despite the different topics, the hosts maintained a light-hearted and humorous tone throughout the conversation.

    • Identifying toxic behaviors in relationshipsRecognize gaslighting, invalidating feelings, communication issues, and seek therapy for personal growth and healthier relationships.

      Toxic behavior in relationships can be identified through certain signs, such as gaslighting and invalidating feelings. These actions demonstrate a lack of empathy and respect, which are essential components of healthy relationships. Communication issues, like holding in emotions and avoiding conversations, can also contribute to toxicity. It's essential to recognize these patterns and work on improving communication skills to foster healthier relationships. Additionally, therapy can be a valuable tool for personal growth and relationship improvement, serving as a "gym for your mind."

    • Access mental health support and manage finances onlineBetterHelp offers online therapy, Squarespace creates websites, and Rocket Money manages subscriptions - tools for mental well-being and financial control

      BetterHelp provides easy access to licensed therapists through an entirely online platform, making it convenient for individuals to address their mental health needs. Unlike dealing with personal struggles alone, having a therapist acts as a coach to help individuals navigate through difficult times. People often believe they need a traumatic event to warrant therapy, but it's beneficial to discuss everyday issues, such as work, relationships, and stress. Mental health concerns can be likened to "mental zombies" that resurface if not addressed, so seeking a therapist can offer a much-needed break from these thoughts. Squarespace, another sponsor, offers an easy solution for creating a website, which serves as an essential identity and platform for individuals and businesses in today's digital age. Lastly, Rocket Money helps manage and save money by identifying and canceling forgotten subscriptions, allowing individuals to regain control of their finances.

    • Managing Money and RelationshipsRocket Money app saves users $720 annually on average, helping over 3 million people achieve significant savings. The speakers also shared experiences with handling ultimatums and maintaining friendships.

      Rocket Money, a personal finance app, helps users save an average of $720 per year by finding and canceling unwanted subscriptions, monitoring spending, and lowering bills. With over 3 million users, the total annual savings is an impressive $2.16 trillion. This app is a convenient solution for managing money and stopping unnecessary expenditures. During the conversation, the speakers also discussed their experiences with ultimatums in relationships. One of them shared a story about receiving an ultimatum from a girlfriend, which he handled calmly and chose to leave the situation. They also mentioned that, despite having crushes on each other during their younger years, they have maintained a strong friendship and professional relationship. When asked about diversity on the podcast, they acknowledged that they do not have any white hosts, but one of them, who is half white, does not identify as white. They did not express a need for a diversity hire, as they have always maintained a diverse friend group. When presented with the hypothetical question of choosing between being the first man on the moon or Martin Luther King Jr., both speakers chose Martin Luther King Jr. They emphasized the importance of his contributions to civil rights and equality.

    • Exploring Hypotheticals: Moon or Political Figure?The speaker prefers going to the moon over being a political figure or a historical figure who was assassinated, and the conversation touched on various topics including historical figures, being a political figure, and hypothetical scenarios.

      The discussion touched on various topics, including the significance of historical figures like Martin Luther King Jr. and the moon landing, the concept of being a political figure, and the hypothetical scenarios of being assassinated or encountering aliens. The speaker expressed a preference for going to the moon over being a political figure or a historical figure who was assassinated. The conversation also included references to movies, music, and personal experiences. The speaker's perspective shifted between serious and lighthearted tones, and there were some misunderstandings and clarifications along the way. Overall, the conversation showcased a free-flowing exchange of ideas and a willingness to explore different topics.

    • Exploring the Unexpected in Alien Encounters and TaxesThe podcast hosts discussed their reactions to potential alien encounters, entertained the audience, and shared personal stories about taxes and getting paid, highlighting their unique perspectives and the unpredictable nature of their conversations.

      The conversation between the podcast hosts touched on various topics, including their reactions to potential alien encounters, entertaining the audience, and their beliefs about taxes. They also shared personal stories, such as their experiences with getting paid and encountering taxes for the first time. The conversation was lighthearted and included some humor, but they also discussed more serious topics like the idea that taxes may not be necessary. Overall, the conversation showcased the hosts' unique perspectives and the unexpected directions their discussions can take.

    • Exploring Alternative Sources of Income in CollegeDespite limited resources, individuals can generate income through various means and find success in their passions, starting with small earnings.

      Even without full-time employment or health benefits, individuals can still find alternative sources of income through various means, such as working at a pizza place, creating content on social media, or even making Frisbees. The speaker in this conversation shares her experiences of working multiple jobs and eventually finding success in content creation, which allowed her to quit her admissions department job and focus on her passion. The first significant income she received from this venture was $2.230 from YouTube's AdSense program. The conversation also highlights the importance of having a positive mindset and being open to learning in college to make the most out of the experience.

    • The impact of earning first money for collegeEarning money for a passion leaves a lasting impression and reveals unique personality traits

      The first experience of earning money for something one is passionate about leaves a profound impact. This was evident in the conversation when the speaker shared his excitement about getting his first $1,000 for college and how it remained a cherished memory. Additionally, the conversation touched upon an intriguing hypothetical question about what color a person's aura would be if it represented them as a person. The answers ranged from dark purple representing a mysterious and potentially dangerous energy to sage green representing a kind and intellectual persona. The conversation also revealed that people can be sensitive to comments, especially when they are misconstrued, and it's important to consider the context and intent behind them.

    • Focus on meaningful relationships, not strangers' opinionsInstead of getting bogged down by strangers' opinions, focus on building meaningful relationships and finding comfort in positive interactions.

      The way we react to criticism or negative comments, especially online, can significantly impact our mindset. The speaker shared an experience of receiving a harsh comment on his music, which initially hurt him, but he later realized that the commenter's words didn't hold much weight since they came from a stranger. He emphasized that we should focus on the people close to us and engage in meaningful relationships, rather than getting bogged down by the opinions of strangers. The speaker also highlighted the importance of finding comfort in communication and the power of positive interactions. Ultimately, it's essential to remember that everyone has their unique experiences and perspectives, and not every comment or interaction will resonate with us. Instead, we should focus on the relationships and connections that bring us joy and growth.

    • Preferring Conversations Without Background Music and Valuing Survival Skills in a Zombie ApocalypseIn conversations, some people find background music distracting and uncomfortable. In a survival situation like a zombie apocalypse, knowledge and survival skills are valuable, especially from a feminist perspective.

      Background music during conversations can be distracting and uncomfortable for some people, even during long car rides. The speaker prefers leading conversations and finds silence uneasy. When it comes to survival situations, such as a zombie apocalypse, the speaker values knowledge, particularly from a feminist perspective, and would prioritize taking someone with survival skills, such as hunting or marksmanship. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of respecting others and avoiding objectification, as demonstrated by their disagreement with the idea of taking a woman or a dog as an item.

    • Feeling Undermined by a Colleague's CharismaDespite feeling undervalued by a colleague, the speaker expresses a desire to learn about each other's cultures and find common ground, highlighting the complexities of interpersonal relationships and the importance of respecting differences.

      The speaker in this conversation feels undermined by a colleague, Zach, who often impresses others with his charisma and generosity. The speaker expresses feelings of toxic people-pleasing and a constant search for approval from Zach. They also discuss their friendship dynamic, with Zach listing the speaker as his roommate in his contacts and introducing him as an acquaintance to others. The conversation touches on topics such as cultural differences, favorite foods, and basketball. The speaker expresses confusion about why they are not considered a close friend by Zach and wonders if it's due to their race. Despite this, they express a desire to learn more about each other's cultures and find common ground. Ultimately, the conversation highlights the complexities of interpersonal relationships and the importance of understanding and respecting differences.

    • Exploring the origins of cornbread and its connection to Native AmericansThe podcast delves into the history of cornbread and its surprising connection to Native Americans, emphasizing the importance of understanding cultural influences and personal preferences.

      The discussion touched on various topics including the unexpected connection between Native Americans and cornbread, personal preferences for minority culture, and the influence of media. The conversation also revealed that the podcast recording is usually kept private and they have merchandise and social media accounts for their audience to follow. However, they warned about the potential negativity in the comment section on their Patreon episode. Despite the potential darkness, they expressed their enjoyment of the recording and encouraged listeners to engage with them further on their platform.

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