WHYLD36 - Camino Portugués - On Foot From Porto to Santiago. Will I Arrive?

Can you imagine paying for a sexual service?

“My goal is that a client is not booking me again.” 


In short, we talk about this in the episode:

• Why do women pay for sex? And is it a bad thing?
• How does one become a callboy… and why?
• Why does a sex worker say, “my aim is that no woman calls twice”?
• Is this even legal? Germany’s Prostitution Protection Act and what introducing the “Nordic Model” would mean for consumers.
• Why might it feel safer for someone to book an escort than to go on a dating site?

In more words:

If this question appals you, please don’t run away just yet. Sex work is an edgy topic and people tend to have strong opinions about it. As always with this podcast, you are invited to explore your (dis)comfort zone and respectfully meet perspectives different from your own.

In this episode, you’ll meet Ben Nordmann. Ben is passionate about creating positive, inclusive, and empowering spaces for people - in his job as a designer… and as a “supportive” escort. Typical job combination, right? The latter profession takes Ben on international travel to meet with his female “hosts” and explore their desires…

Why Ben chose this path, what the motives of his clients are, and how it all works - learn that and more from this rare and very open account of a male “callboy”.

Contrasting Ben’s happy and self-determined situation, we also spoke about the darker sides of sex work – and why the current political push in Germany to criminalize “consumers” in general might not solve the issues after all while punishing an entire industry.


Mentioned in this episode:

• Ben is a member of the Germany-based Professional Association for Erotic and Sexual Services (BesD e.V.): www.berufsverband-sexarbeit.de (English translation available) 
• Currently, the “Prostitute Protection Act” / “Prostituiertenschutzgesetz" is the legal foundation for sex work in Germany.
• There is a political push in Germany to introduce the „Nordic Model” which would penalize the clients of sex workers. 
• Ben offers a “Trusted Guest Program” on his website www.justnotbed.com - potential clients can contact Ben's former hosts to learn what the experience was like.

Do you want to connect with Ben?

• Platform (for himself & other professionals sharing the same values): www.justnotbed.com
• Personal website: www.ben-nordmann.com
• IG (platform): @justnotbed_ 
• IG (just Ben): @ben_nordmann
• Twitter: @justnotbed

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

What is a Lobsterbird?

“As the saying goes: A fish and a bird could fall in love. But where would they live?”


In short, we talk about this in the episode: 

• White-Asian, male-female, arts-science - what is it like to be a builder of bridges between polarities? 
• 88 temples in 24 days – why Lobsterbird completed Japan’s Shikoku pilgrimage in record time and what a rice field can teach you. 
• Wormholes, wisdom, wonders – how Tina was challenged by Lobsterbird’s language but found: We are not that different after all.

In more words:

Imagine recording a whole podcast episode on the topic of your name, just so you don’t have to repeat the whole story to every new person you meet individually. Welcome to the world of Lobsterbird!

Like their name, Lobsterbird as a person defies a short, unidimensional description. Multiprismatic, neuroemergent, and non-binary are but a few descriptors they like to use for themself.

Born to “an Asian woman and a white dude”, Lobsterbird’s path as a social chameleon, a wanderer between worlds, was predestined. As an artist, a healer, a guide, Lobsterbird’s mission is to help people find their purpose and transcend their limitations, in order to help build a better world.

This episode was born out of hesitation, a tension between different universes. Instead of turning away from the initial insecurities with one another, host and guest instead decided to go for exposure, exploration, and radical honesty with each other. What a magical experience!

Enjoy the episode to learn more about barkeeping crustaceans, virtual pilgrimages, and the transformational powers of rice fields.


Mentioned in this episode: 

• Lobsterbird’s Bridge to Being Podcast
• Bridge to Being #43 “What the hell is a Lobsterbird?”
• Lobsterbird's Books: “Phase Out” and “Level Up”
• Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism
• Shikoku Pilgrimage 

Do you want to connect with Lobsterbird? 

• Website: www.lobsterbird.com
• Instagram: @thelobsterbird
• Facebook: @thelobsterbird

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

How long can you hold your breath?

“90% of the blackouts happen near the surface at the very end of the dive.”
 

In short, we talk about this in the episode: 

• How dangerous is freediving really? 
• Step by step, what happens during a vertical freedive?  
• What surprising reflexes help humans survive longer underwater? 
• Who was Stephen Keenan to Lily and what happened on July 22nd, 2017? 

 
In more words:

Imagine walking 120 meters (131 yards) on one breath.
Think you can make it? 

And now imagine doing the same thing… diving.
Miscalculated, ran out of oxygen? Tough luck, no way to breathe before you reach the surface!

What sounds like a crazy, dangerous endeavour is Lily Crespy’s passion and the most peaceful activity she can imagine. Freediving. Upon discovering this niche sport, not even a broken leg could stop Lily from diving into a new life. Formerly a molecular biologist, Lily became an athlete, competing in the world championships, and working internationally as a freediving instructor.

In 2017, a tragic accident (“The Deepest Breath” movie, available on Netflix) involving Lily’s friends - world-renowned safety diver Stephen Keenan and record-breaking freediving champion Alessia Zecchini – changed the trajectory of Lily’s career. 

Let Lily take you on a deep dive and explain the intriguing physiological reflexes that help humans survive longer underwater. Listen to her personal account of Stephen Keenan’s fatal accident. And learn what she is up to now, writing a new chapter back home in Nice, France.


Mentioned in this episode: 

• “The Deepest Breath” movie
• “The Big Blue” movie
• Wim Hof breathing method (NOT to be used for freediving in the water; can be used for static apnea)
• Mammalian Dive Reflex (set of physiological responses to immersion in water)
• Laryngospasm (protective reflex against pulmonary aspiration)
• Blow-Tap-Talk (method to recover blacked-out diver)
• Alexey Molchanov  & Natalia Molchanova († 2nd August 2015)
• Dahab Freedivers (freediving school in Dahab, Egypt, founded by Pascal Berger, Miguel Lozano, and Stephen Keenan, later run by Lily Crespy as manager)
• Alessia Zecchini
• Stephen Keenan († 22nd July 2017)

Do you want to connect with Lily?

• www.enki-coaching.com
• IG: @lilycrespy
• FB: @lily.crespy

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

Do I have to have kids?

“Moms reach out to me all the time and share their stories and say that they just weren't aware that they had the choice.”
 

In short, we talk about this in the episode:

• How can you find out if you (don’t) want to have kids? 
• Is being childfree different for men vs. women? 
• Should “kids, yes or no” be a topic on your first date?  
• Why is this such a sensitive topic? 

In more words:

Veronica grew up in a very traditional Hispanic home where the father worked and the mom… worked, too. This came on top of taking care of the household and children, “of course”.

Being overworked and last on the to-care-for list was not a model young Veronica fancied for her future. Yet, for a long time, she didn’t know she had a choice.

Now 47 and confidently childfree, Veronica knows all about the pressure and the prejudice society applies to people for whom having children is not a given but an option - one that is considered very consciously.

Together with her partner Rick, the Austin-based woman with a captivating smile founded “The Childfree Connection” – a global membership community for like-minded individuals.

In the episode, we discuss the many stereotypes about childfree people, why many parents feel offended by this topic, what Veronica calls the “But Trap”, and how Veronica thinks about her old age without kids.


Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Earth Overshoot Day – incorrectly addressed as “Earth Day” in the episode: The day of each year when humanity has used up the natural resources available in a year. The more people we become and the less sustainably we act, the earlier the date on which humanity passes this troublesome mark each passing year.
• “Is childfree for me?” - program + private community offered by Veronica

Do you want to connect with Veronica?

• Website: www.thechildfreeconnection.com
• Instagram: @thechildfreeconnection
• Facebook: @thechildfreeconnection

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

Is “should” still part of your vocabulary?

If it’s not a F*** YES, it’s a F*** NO!  


In short, we talk about this in the episode:

• How the way you are eating might reflect your connection with yourself.
• How a “head person” might find access to their heart’s voice.
• What you might want to know about the local culture before moving to the Azores…

In more words:

Alexandra “Allie” Elle has not always been this connected with the callings of her inner voice. The passionate writer lived with a severe eating disorder for nearly two decades. The anorexia that had once filled a void, lies slumbering now and serves as a beacon for when Allie strays from her truth. 

Equipped with a wild curiosity, a fearlessness, and a radical love for what’s authentically human, she followed her soul on a nomad journey to self. From Canada, where she grew up, past a small island in the Atlantic, where she leaped and fell, all the way to Poland, where her roots called.

Listen to Allie share about her difficulties in navigating cultural clashes, reconciling the intellect and heart, making truthful decisions - and erroring at times.
 
 
Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Gabor Maté - www.drgabormate.com
• “Wise Mind”- Concept of Dialectic Behavior Therapy

Do you want to connect with Allie?

• Instagram: @alexandraelle.writer

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

• What are the stereotypes around bisexuality?
• Can gender-fluid people find partners?
• How are authenticity & mental health connected?

• All-in-one-go: www.campsite.bio/notdefining
• Instagram: @notdefining
• YouTube: @notdefining
• TikTok: @notdefining
• Twitter: @notdefining
• Patreon: @notdefining

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

Do poverty, war, and health crises really lie outside of your responsibility?

"I grew up with this sense of how inappropriate and unfair the world is. And how I shouldn't be passive in this injustice and that I shouldn't just take care of myself." 

In short, we talk about this in the episode: 

• How to become THAT person who saves lives worldwide on a Doctors Without Borders mission. 
• What day-to-day humanitarian aid work is really like, beyond what you learn on the news. 
• The emotional impact of working in crisis zones, how to cope with and grow through them.

In more words:
 

With an English-Canadian mother and a refugee from Iran for a father, Reza Eshaghian grew up with an awareness of multiculturalism and differences in living standards.

Not wanting to follow in the footsteps of his father, a doctor, young Reza aspired to become a computer game developer instead - until a fateful book, “An Imperfect Offering” by James Orbinski, changed his path in life dramatically.

With commendable persistence, Reza took each step of his education and career so he would eventually become eligible for his goal: Signing up as a humanitarian physician with Doctors Without Border / Médecins Sans Frontières and helping those fighting for survival in crisis zones around the world.

In nine years of working with MSF, Reza has served in Ethiopia, South Sudan, Central African Republic, Democratic Republic of Congo, Syria, Yemen, and Ukraine.

This episode offers a first-person account of the things you did not expect humanitarian aid work to be like. Among others, we delve into the following questions:

What do you need to do to become a humanitarian doctor with MSF in the first place? Can you choose where to go? How can you reconcile a career at home with being abroad for months on end? In what ways is the fieldwork not all like you would expect? What emotional impact does this work have and how does one deal with it? 

Thank you, Reza, for these valuable insights and the existential work you do.

If you, dear listener/reader, want to help Reza and his colleagues help others, maybe you want to consider donating to MSF?


Resources mentioned in this episode: 

• Médecins Sans Frontières: www.msf.org
• Donate here: www.msf.org/donate
• Reza playing piano – “Kercha” on YouTube 
• Reza’s favourite Iranian dish - “Fezenjan”
• Book by James Orbinski - “An Imperfect Offering” 

Do you want to connect with Reza? 

• Twitter: @reshaghian 

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

Do you know how to ask for what you desire, embrace a “no” response, and respect your own boundaries?

“I'm learning that to be a whole person and a happier person, I need to have conversations that are challenging all the time. Almost daily.”

In short, in this episode, we talk about:

• What professional cuddling is and why it is valuable work.
• How cuddling events can teach you about boundary setting and navigating difficult situations.
• Why having an intimacy coordinator professional on set is an important asset in keeping actors and actresses safe throughout intimate scenes.

 With more words:

Being a professional cuddler, the founder of “Cuddle Sanctuary”, as well as an intimacy professional for theatre, film, and TV, Jean Franzblau does not find it easy to explain what she does for a living.

In her role as “Cuddle Queen Jean”, she bridges the gap between the astonishingly prevalent notion that there is not much to be taught about cuddling and the striking deficits in our culture regarding voicing needs and acting with consent. Especially when it comes to sexuality and other forms of vulnerable human interaction.

Thus, Jean is on a mission to educate people on boundary-aware intimacy and to create safer environments for its exploration.

Those who dare, join Jean in Cuddle Sanctuary’s events in California to practice navigating boundaries and to invite the nurturing experiences they seek. Jean also trains people around the world to become facilitators of cuddle events themselves.

As an intimacy professional, Jean coordinates between actors, writers, directors and others involved, to ensure emotional safety during a scene that involves nudity, played sexuality or even sexual violence.


Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Buzzfeed Video: “People Spoon With Professional Cuddlers For The First Time”
•  Movie: "We Need to Talk About Kevin" (Wikipedia)
• IFS – Internal Family Systems (Wikipedia)
• Book: Creating Consent Culture: A Handbook for Educators (von Marcia Baczynski (Author), Erica Scott (Author))
• Me Too Movement & Emily Meade
• Pioneer intimacy coordinator: Alicia Rodis
• YouTube yoga channel: "Yoga with Adriene" (& Benji)

Do you want to connect with Jean?

• Website: www.jeanfranzblau.com
• YouTube: @CuddleSanctuary
• Instagram: @hollywoodintimacycoordinator & @cuddlesanctuary
• Facebook: @cuddlesanctuary

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

Have you ever been on a pilgrimage?

“The Camino de Santiago […], known in English as the Way of St James, is a network of pilgrims' ways or pilgrimages leading to the shrine of the apostle Saint James the Great in the cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia in northwestern Spain.” (Wikipedia)

On May 17th 2023, Tina is starting off on a big adventure and physical challenge: Walking the Camino Portugués, a 250+ (depending on the variation) kilometre path from Porto, Portugal, to Santiago de Compostela, Spain. On foot, in about 2 weeks.

The Camino Portugués is part of the Camino de Santiago’s network of paths spanning Europe. Hundreds of thousands are arriving at Santiago’s cathedral each year, celebrating their accomplishment, and hugging fellow strangers who, too, have come from far to experience the transformative magic of Camino.

In an age when fast-and-far travel is available to many, witnessing every step of the way, like a chain of hundreds of thousands of moments, is a unique call for presence and deceleration. The slowness and sweat, the repetition and reflection, offer the kind of answers and change that many a pilgrim sets out for.

In this semi episode of WHYLD Podcast, you learn about the Camino de Santiago and are invited to follow Tina’s journey.

Do check out WHYLD’s Instagram & Facebook accounts for a personal pilgrimage report by Tina.


Would you like more info on the Camino? Check out:

• Pilgrim's Office in Santiago
• Stingy Nomads blog post with lots of valuable info on the Camino Portugués
• Info on the "Spiritual" detour Tina plans on taking 

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one

What story will we tell when we are dead? 
 
“There's all sorts of scenarios of death that can be embarrassing. […] It's just very private and very intimate and they're forced into almost having to expose themselves to someone.”


 In short, we talk about this in the episode: 
 

• What made Kari decide to become a mortician and what is it like to be in this job? 
• How is caring for the living often more challenging than working with the dead?  
•  What questions about the dead is Kari being asked most?
• How does Kari handle the tension between living her life and expecting a distressed caller any minute? 
• What did more than 25 years of caring for the dead teach her about living? 

 With more words:

Upon entering adult life, most of us focus on being full of choices, full of life, and making the most out of it. If we are lucky, getting older, sicker, and eventually dying is not on our to-think-about list at this age.

So how come some young people choose to enter a profession that places death at the center of attention? What is it like dealing with loved ones in crisis, grieving and lost, all the time? And what happens to a body once handed over to the care of a funeral home?

Kari Northey, single mom and mortician from Michigan, USA, has answers.

Even though we generally like to push the thought of death away, we have so many questions and hope that if only we knew more about what’s coming it would make us better prepared and feel more in control, when a loved one dies or when we are confronted with our own looming deaths.

On her YouTube channel “Kari the Mortician”, it is Kari’s mission to make the processes of a funeral home transparent, tangible, and less frightening. Whether it is embalming, cremating, or talking financials, Kari answers the questions of her audience – and does so with lightness and charisma.


Resources mentioned in this episode:
 

• Kari's interview with "Hospice Nurse Julie": you can watch it on Kari's YouTube channel 
• A tour of a crematory Kari captured for her channel 
• A tour of an embalming room in which Kari explains the use of items like a "head block" 
• "My Girl" -  the movie in which a girl grows up in a house that also holds her father's funeral home in the basement 

Do you want to connect with Kari?
 

• Website: www.karithemortician.com 
• YouTube: @karithemortician 
• Instagram: @kari_the_mortician 
• Facebook: @karithemortician 
• TikTok: @karithemortician
• LinkedIn:  @Kari Northey

Do you enjoy WHYLD? Then get in touch!

• Quick one-stop-shop: www.linktr.ee/whyld.podcast
• Follow us on Instagram: @whyld.thepodcast
• Find us on Facebook: @whyld.one
• Or visit our website: www.whyld.one