Adventurous Polyamory

The cards steer us into happier territory today. Sorry for the long break; everyone got sick.

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The power is in your hands, Padawan.

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We continue with Tarot. Naturally this will involve things like circus acrobats, grief, drinking, and sex.

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Welcome to season 3! Sometimes we have to dig a little bit for that zap of light. 

Special terms: 

NRE, New Relationship Energy. That wonderful time when you are out of your mind with the rush of a new partner. 

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Obviously that's a falsehood.

For your education and edification, here are some ethnic and religious wars and genocides that currently are being completely ignored by pretty much everyone. 

The Tigray War: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tigray_War#:~:text=The%20Tigray%20War%20was%20an,(TPLF)%20on%20the%20other.

More than 250,000 dead, along with extensive human rights violations such as rape.

Myanmar Civil War: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myanmar_civil_war_(2021%E2%80%93present)

Myanmar and the Rohyngya people: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rohingya_people

Moroccan War: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Saharan_clashes_(2020%E2%80%93present)#:~:text=The%202020%E2%80%932023%20Western%20Saharan,United%20Nations%20by%20the%20Polisario

The sad history of the Kurds: https://www.cfr.org/timeline/kurds-long-struggle-statelessness

Civil War in Syria (speaking of the Kurds): https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_Syrian_civil_war_(2023)#:~:text=As%20of%202023%2C%20active%20fighting,occasional%20flareups%20in%20Northwestern%20Syria.

Native Americans: https://www.bia.gov/service/mmu/missing-and-murdered-indigenous-people-crisis

War in Sudan: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_in_Sudan_(2023)#:~:text=A%20war%20between%20the%20Sudanese,Khartoum%20and%20the%20 Darfur%20region.

10,000 dead, millions displaced. The day I recorded this podcast,  I doomscrolled through my news feed. Apparently there are several new earpods coming out! The only source who wrote about Sudan was Al-Jazeera. 1300 dead in Darfur. I could go on but you get the idea. Nobody wants to discuss these horrific conflicts; I have little doubt that soon this miserable war will join those ranks. As many as 5700 Native American women and girls go missing every year, but no one is marching in Times Square over it, are they?  Am I heartless for pointing this out? 

VOCABULARY:

Flooding: https://www.gottman.com/blog/making-sure-emotional-flooding-doesnt-capsize-your-relationship/


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Meeting, greeting, and mingling. Why are we so bad at it?!


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hoooooo boy we got so much to say. The editing on this sucker is bare minimum and I can't even GAF at this point.

For the record I stand by my opinion on Ben Shapiro!! We actual real Jewish people have books, man. Books on how to keep your woman happy. Some going back several hundred years. And it's sadly clear he ain't never read a one of them. BOOOO, shame on you, sir!! Apparently no accident his initials are BS.

A visit with a dear friend to discuss one of the most hated terms in all of PolyamoryLandia. Get out your guns, kids, we're going Unicorn Hunting!!

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Hank! Why do you drink?!



Sincere apologies for the reverb. Still figuring this software out!


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Here's Hank Jr in all his glory:

Lordy, I have loved some ladies
And I have loved Jim Beam
And they both tried to kill me in 1973
When that doctor asked me
"Son, how did you get in this condition?"
I said, "Hey, Sawbones
I'm just carrying on an ole family tradition"
So don't ask me
Hank, why do you drink?
Hank, why do roll smoke?
Why must you live out the songs that you wrote? Stop and think it over
Try to put yourself in my unique position
If I get stoned and sing all night long
It's a family tradition


You, Me, And Whiskey is by Justin Moore and Priscilla Block, sorry for missing the credits there.

We be loyal scouting polyamorists!

Note: the mic on this new iPad is very sensitive; you can hear my dog gently snoring in the background.

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In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the cougar hunts tonight.

The Beauty Myth, by Naomi Wolfe. I am not kidding, it’s a blockbuster of a book.

How Stella Got Her Groove Back,  by Terry McMillan. I believe there is also a movie based on this novel. I do not ref this in the episode but it's quite apropos.

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Fancy Jargon:

Not this time!

First star to the right, and on til morning. Are you Peter Pan, never growing up?


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Fancy Jargon:

Metamour: your sweetie's other sweetie.
Solo Polyamory: when you are polyamorous but you have no "primary" partner or nesting partner. You alone are running your love life.

NOOOO!! Not. . . the sex towels!!!

John Gottman, who coined the phrase "the 4 horsemen of relationship apocalypse," has written several books, including Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His work did not save my marriage. However it did improve my other relationships. 

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Fancy Jargon:

Metamour (or meta): your sweetie's other sweetheart.

NRE: new relationship energy, aka that time early on where you still think their every quirk is adorable and mostly you are a pain to be around because you are sooooooo in love.

There's no pirates in this episode. Sorry. But there are a lot of red and yellow flags.

Shout out to the awesome guys who do the Waving The Red Flag podcast! It's got nothing to do with this episode! But I just love them.

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Fancy Jargon:

NRE: New Relationship Energy. This is the wonderful early stage where you are just so drunk on the awesomeness of this person. You're probably missing something and also probably being a pain in the patoot. But OH is it ever fun.

I kissed a girl and I liked it. Or did I? Did she? WTH just happened here anyway?

Here’s a couple handy articles about comp-het, performative bisexuality, and hegemonic masculinity for those who want a deeper dive:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_heterosexuality

https://www.bitchmedia.org/post/visibility-performing-bisexuality-katy-perry-lowndes-music-feminism

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hegemonic_masculinity#:~:text=Hegemonic%20masculinity%20is%20defined%20as,ways%20of%20being%20a%20man.

Bad Dragon sex toys is a real website: https://bad-dragon.com/

I am not being paid to mention these guys. I just love their bizarre creations.

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Fun Fact: although I can do a British, Russian, German, or Indian accent, I can not imitate my mom’s accent. This tortures me.

Peg-Leg Pete is IN THE HOUSE yo.

Shout out to Anita Wagner, in whose MeetUp I posted my first event waaaay back in 2014.

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Fancy Jargon:

I like to make up names for people who are either theoretical/don’t exist, or whose name I don’t want to use for any particular reason.

Esteban: any imaginary date

Svetlana: also any imaginary date

My sincere apologies to anyone out there who is actually named Esteban or Svetlana. I have never met any of you.

Exteban or Svetlanex: any former partner whose name you no longer speak

Although I did name my ex-husband (my wasband) by name a whole bunch for a while there, it’s definitely time to let him rest in peace, and to go forward in peace myself. One thing about polyamory, as The Ferret remarked, is that it’s a small world. If you are the sort of person who trashes their ex, well, everyone can see it and will soon understand that the problem is probably you. So try to be on good terms with your exes, or at least not on terms of open warfare. As Will Smith said, “keep their name out yo mouth.” 

Divine fire, Old Scratch, racism, rudeness gets the results it truly deserves. It’s Bible time, y’all!


The text I reference is 2 Kings 1.2-1.18. The translation I prefer is the Jewish Theological Seminary translation. I do not currently have a favorite New Testament to recommend, as I have not developed enough expertise in that text to give myself airs just yet. 

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Baby, I need your lovin/Got to have all your lovin/Baby I need your lovin toniiiiightt

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Fancy Jargon:

Not this month. Go look up St. Valentine though. He is not that romantic.

There's no Robinson Caruso to give you the D on this island. Worst island ever. 

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Fancy Jargon:

Not this month.  The Amazon, for new folks, is my boyfriend John's other girlfriend. I adore her.

John & I look back and forward together. And make jokes.

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Fancy Jargon: 

"Shmuel" is the original Hebrew pronunciation of the name "Samuel."