Am I Broken: Survivor Stories

Papillon and Andrew discuss the Healing Path - what is it? What does healing look like, and what identifiable steps can it include?

John shares his story of sexual abuse when he was five years old, by a teenage babysitter, and the secondary trauma of his parents refusing to support his recovery. He describes suffering from extreme anxiety, and using opiates to cope, and his struggles with addiction. John's faith and his self-regulation skills have helped his healing journey.

Tomi shares his journey through flashbacks of incest perpetrated by his mother, and additional sexual abuse incidents outside the home. He describes his struggles with substance abuse and the healing and growth he found through Alcoholics Anonymous, and then Adult Children of Alcoholics. Tomi now understands that he was not born rotten, but that he has trauma symptoms that were a product of sexual abuse.

In this bonus episode, licensed trauma therapists Papillon DeBoer and Andrew Barnett discuss their work with male survivors, focusing on working with shame and boundaries. These issues are near-universal for all survivors of sexual trauma, and so this episode should be helpful for survivors of any gender, loved ones of survivors, and therapists.

In this season's bonus episodes, licensed therapists Papillon DeBoer and Andrew Barnett describe working with male survivors for Our Voice. This first episode covers how safer space is created for survivors to do group work. The bonus mini-series is complementary to Am I Broken, and is intended for survivors, allies and therapists to gain a refined perspective on healing sexual trauma.

George describes growing up in a large Catholic family, and being sexually abused by 3 different priests over the course of more than a decade. He shares his slow journey out of blaming himself for the abuse, and believing that he was a "shitty person" - healing through his marriage, and group counseling. Having locked away a part of himself, George shares his process with carefully opening back up, and learning to care for and protect his little boy inside.

Taylor shares his story of, from a young age, being not only sexually abused, but also verbally and emotionally abused, and gaslit, by an older sibling. As a result of this abuse, he finds himself unable to set boundaries or believe his own experience. And as he ages, he experiences sexual harassment from teachers, professors, and a therapist. Taylor shares his journey with creating a palette of safety, and beginning to trust in his own perspective, and from there, the birth of his daughter helping him realize the gifts that he already has both within and without. He also describes both useful and unhelpful group therapy experiences.

Larry describes being raped and stalked by his RA in Job Corps

Ben describes piecing together details from his own behaviors and several mental breakdowns, resulting in a revelation that he had been drugged and sexually assaulted at 8 years old by an adult neighbor.

Antanas describes a sexual assault in adolescence by his closest female friend, to whom he looked for protection from bullying.

Mike shares his story of multiple victimizations as a child and teenager, including one sexual assault by a priest.

Stephen describes how he was molested as a child by a farmhand, who used the fact that Stephen was adopted to manipulate him. Stephen also shares the story of how, as an adult, he confronted that pedophile on his deathbed.

Calvin describes his childhood sexual abuse by a mentor, who he learns also abused other boys. The case goes to court.

Brett shares his story of childhood sexual abuse by a babysitter, which he kept secret until adulthood.

Jamal describes the arrival of fragmented childhood sexual abuse memories, first by a neighbor, and then by a stepfather.

Matthew describes the sudden recovery of a memory of childhood incest, and the effects it had on his life.