Am I the BLEEP

Sup normies! We're here to get you what you want and what you need and what you crave. Do we succeed? Listen to the full episode to find out. Unless what you need/want/crave is quiet time. In which case, turn the volume way down.

Coaching Pearls: Swearing Spit-Take, Thick Soup Guy, After-Before, Fireplace Amnesia Exercise, Double-edged a-hole, Normies

This episode is the one where we decided to just make our jobs easier by deciding if people are assholes from the title of their Reddit post. We then immediately learn why that does not work out....enjoy!

Coaching pearls: First Takes, SIL Vacuums, Demetre Dates, Star Economy Moguls, Weed Snack Improprieties

Everybody is getting married this week. You, us, the posters on AITA, everyone. Does that mean we all have to go get marriage licenses? Do you have to make an appointment for that? Maybe we should all coordinate because we only get an hour for lunch.

The Pearls:  Clean Screen Queen, Celebrating Love with a Mushroom Risotto, Consensual Bedroom Knocks, Wedding Guest Goofs

Both Jonathans braved sickness of the body and soul to get this coaching podcast to you this week. We really hope you like it, because all the medical professionals we bamboozled so we could record this episode are pretty peeved at us.

Coaching Pearls: Poor Grammar Poetry Slam, Juicy Booty Problems, Adopting The Ring of Fire, Limits of Horse Biology, A Testicular Argument, Ice Cream Lottery Dreams

We're back-ack-ack-ack! Not like a heart attack, though, more like an old friend that shows up at your door with a nice ready-to-go meal and podcasting equipment.

Coaching Pearls: Strong Warbler Energy, Dookie Howser, Breaking the third wall, Why do you want her dead!?, Death Trifle, 1731 was a mid-year.

Being or not being the AH in a situation is a tricky
Little situation that takes the
Expertise of the Jonathans to
Encourage thought and adjudication to
Posit who is and who isn't the AH


If this doesn't show up like an acrostic poem on your device, I will eat my hat.
Also please give us 5 stars as a bare minimum rating. It's the only way.

It's us....

HI.

We're the Jonathan's, it's we.

It's AITB time.

The Jonathans agree.

After a brief meeting at 4 am, the council of Jonathans met to discuss a very important matter. After hemming, hawing they began to understand what the real question here was...

Doest calling thy colleague a nosy ***** maketh thee an AH?

Let's find out.

Geronimo! The jabbering Jonathans jump judiciously into  the stories of jaded jabronies and shed their jacklight onto  jackass juveniles to judge the justifiableness of the jabbering  gerrymander.


Don't worry. We won't quit our day job.

In this epic episode of Am I the Bleep!?! We are ecstatic, elated, and another generic 'E' word that describes excitement to introduce a very special guest. 

The one...the only... JROSE11!!!!!!

You may know him from Twitch or one of his many other endeavors, but today you will get to know him as a very special co-host of our show. While he is not a Jonathan, his name also starts with a 'J', so we can hopefully all take this in stride and move in with exuberance to today's episode of Am I the Bleep!?!

In this brand new episode of Am I the Bleep!?!, The Jonathans dive really....really...really deep into the complexities of relationships. They do this because they love talking about complex stuff in complex ways with complex people.

Now say complex 10 more times and give this brand new episode a listen. It's simpler than you may think.

AITA for reporting a mother and her glitter monster to a flight attendant?

I had a situation that happened to me on a long-haul flight yesterday and I need your verdict.

I'd paid for an aisle seat in main cabin extra because of my long legs. It was a packed flight and my row-mates were a mother (late 30s?) with a young child (maybe 5 or 6). They brought a bunch of arts and crafts to keep the kid busy - things like a glue stick, markers, paper, craft sticks. Sounds cute, right? Well, not when the glitter came out.

The child, let's call her Glitter Godzilla (GG), was making a mess, and since she was in the middle seat, the glitter would spill over onto my side. If you remember glitter from elementary school, it’s messy AF if you try attaching it to paper. There’s a lot of shake off and most of it doesn’t stick.

So yeah the glitter and marks from the glue stick rolling off the gray table was everywhere - on my shoes, my backpack, and my jeans.

I'm patient and get kids can be messy, but this felt crazy. I tried catching the mom's eye, hoping she'd step in. But she just gave me a blank look like "this is how it is."

I’m not confrontational so when I got up to use the bathroom, I quietly shared the situation with a flight attendant. She promised to discretely address it.

When I got back to my seat, the mother was pissed. Idk what the flight attendant said but the mom claimed I was being discriminatory against mothers, and since the flight was delayed she was just trying to keep her child entertained. Then she started raising her voice, accusing me of being "a selfish man with no understanding of children". All this despite the fact that my lower half now looks bedazzled.

There were no other seats available, so I was stuck the rest of the flight with this lady’s verbal attacks. The flight attendants gave me looks of sympathy but didn’t want to step in. Of course the mother gave me a final fuck you as we deplaned.

I travel a lot and this was the flight from hell. Not to mention it was pretty embarrassing in the airport. Not that I can blame people taking notice.

AITA here? Was I wrong to get some help in dealing with what felt like a glitter assault? Should I have just sucked it up and became a human art project?

How would you respond to this OP? Who is the AH?

This and more on this week's episode of Am I the Bleep!?!

AITA for not wanting my husband to eat lobster in our house?

I (F27) have a seafood allergy, anything that comes from the sea will cause me to break out in hives, be nauseated and have difficulty breathing, it never got to the point of being an anaphylaxis reaction but I do not want to risk it. My husband (27M) loves seafood specifically lobster. he will eat it when visiting his parents (who live 4h away) but never around me. His parents are coming to visit next week and are bringing lobster ( My MIL doesn't understand my allergy and thinks I just get a small rash). I just found out today. I told my husband absolutely not, he can go to our friend's house to eat it but not here. He told me how he will eat in the living room and i can stay in the bedroom, I said no the smell is going to linger and il be nauseated for hours. He promised to clean up after and scrub I said no I don't want to risk it. We argued a bit more and this is where we are. he is usually really good about my allergy and always checks in restaurants before going there if they sell seafood and will warn the waiters about my allergy. this is completely out of character for him so I'm wondering if I'm being the AH here.

How the heck do The Jonathans respond? You will have to listen to today's episode to find out ;p

Here are all the posts for today's episode:

1. AITA for taking my sisters and their husbands to see Garth Brooks when my friends didn't pay?
2. AITA for not wanting my husband to eat lobster in our house?
3. AITA for “ruining my sister’s family”?

"To bleep, or not to bleep, that is the question: 
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The a**holes of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of a**holes
And by opposing end them. " 

-William Shakespeare

Check out the original posts here if you would like to read along:

1. AITA for putting out my neighbours fire with my garden hose while we’re on a fire ban?
2. AITA for not babysitting my ex-husband’s kid
3. AITA for getting high so my relatives don't try and pawn their children on me?

In this extra special episode of Am I the Bleep!?! The Jonathans are actually in the same room at the same time in the same city. It's kind of like a less Oscar-worthy version of Everything, Everywhere All at Once....but it's still pretty good. In this episode, we talk about exclusion and how to manage yourself in its ugly face. 

Also, and on a different note...Thank you all for over 1000 downloads! 
We are eternally grateful <3 And so grateful in fact that we wrote a Haiku.

Jonathans are we;

Listeners are listening

to Am I the Bleep

The meaning is as deep as our love for you, the listeners. Thank you so much <3

-The Jonathans

In this corner, weighing at a combined 450 lbs, we have The Jonathans. A destructive duo ready to dive in and do what they do.

In the opposing corner, weighing in at 0 lbs, we have Chat GPT. The force coming to take Jonathan's job right from their grasp. And it means it, folks!

That's right! In this cage match episode, The Jonathans go head-to-head(?) with an invisible enemy to see who can not only determine who the A**hole is but also offer some impactful coaching.

Will ChatGPT be able to be successful in it's endeavor to take the Jonathans down, or will the Jonathans unplug the computer, reboot it, blow on its floppy disk, and wait 5 long minutes with a cold stare as CHATGPT crashes and falls into its blue screen of death?

This week's threads include:
AITA for going to a concert over my mother's wedding?
AITA for leaving my sister's wedding?

Every single week, The Jonathans put their minds, their wits and their courage together to read from the titular 'Am I the Asshole' thread to determine who is the A**hole and who isn't. This is not a challenge they take lightly. Every day they wake up at 3 am to train in the style of a certain Rocky Balboa running up and down stairs until they have built the sheer fortitude to accomplish the task at hand. 

Will all this training be worth it?  Let's find out...

Today's posts include:

AITA For refusing to pay for my friends, gf's meal at a restaurant?

AITA for telling my husband to let his daughter live with her uncle?

AITA For not attending a play that my BF is in because there is smoking in it

Writing copy for podcasts is hard. You have to listen to yourself speak...again and again and again for another 40+ minutes to find the part where you said something witty that will translate to you, the listener. It's like the worst answering machine-type experience in the world and I WILL NOT HAVE IT TODAY!

So rather than me going through HELL, it's your turn. Listen to today's episode of, Am I the Bleep!?! where Dr. Jonathan Rom and Jonathan Friedman read posts from the titular thread, Am I the Asshole? and coach the posters right then and there.

Today's posts include the following:

AITA for telling my best friend his gf is disgusting?

AITA for not wanting to take my wife’s photos?

AITA for not serving alcohol at my baby's 1st birthday party?

Listen to it, love it and hold these moments close...they define us.

I couldn't think of what I wanted to say for today's episode description so I did the only thing I could think of and go to CHAT GPT to do my work for me. 

Here's what was said by the infamous robot on it's first try...

"Am I the Bleep!?!," is the podcast that's more relatable than your ex's rebound. Hosted by two comedians who make dark humor seem like a ray of sunshine. If you're sick of life's BS, these guys got you. With anonymous guests who share their cringy stories, you'll feel like your life is not so terrible after all. Their unsolicited advice will make you wonder why you never thought of that (probably because it's terrible advice). So, if you need a break from reality, come join the hosts and forget your problems, or laugh at how they're worse than yours." - CHAT GPT

Wow, CHAT GPT...you are the A**hole :p

Today's posts include:

1. AITA for telling my sister to fuck off with her scientifically accurate term?
2. AITA for ordering nachos even though it “deeply offended and set off” my brother-in-law’s autism and sensory issues?
3. AITA for hiding vegetables in my boyfriend’s food?

Listen now!

In today's epic episode, the jazzy Jonathans read stories from aloof a**holes and coach them...courageously. Is my copywriting improving or what!?!

We coach the original posters of the following AITA threads:

1. WIBTA if I didn't include one of my polycule members in a book I'm writing?
2. AITA for "embarrassing" my husband by leaving the room whenever he chews gum?
3. WIBTA if I asked my wife to stop washing her grandson's laundry?

It's gonna be great and you have to listen to today's episode now!