Ambition Without Compromise

Today’s conversation is about deserving and the spaces we deserve to be in.

This topic has me fired up because as women, until we begin to move through the world with a filter, a level of standards that defines a mutually beneficial criteria to our personal and business relationships, we are going to continue to end up in situations that we don’t deserve.

I share my experiences where this set of criteria for my time and energy has served me. Don’t put yourself in a situation where there is scarcity of magic. Where you are making decisions from a place of big risk because you're moving through your business out of desperation.

So if you have asked yourself “Why have I lost track of where my footing is? Who am I?” I hope this episode reaches you and sparks a shift in how you think about who and what deserves your energy.

MENTIONED
05 | Why We MUST Stop Isolating Ourselves - How To Connect Deeply With Other Women

GEMS DROPPED
“I want us to flip this entire framing on its head because it is getting us in trouble. And when I say us, I am talking about the black and brown women of us. Okay, so today's conversation about deserving is about first and foremost, understanding that we have to flip the way that we are holding deserving in our minds. What rooms, what tables, what spaces, what relationships want connections, what people …deserve us. Because until we begin to move through the world, with this filter on with this set of criteria with this level of standard, we're going to keep winding up in situations where we should never be, we're going to keep winding up in situations that take more from us than they could possibly ever give”.

“...we are accepting misaligned things, misaligned work, misaligned opportunities and projects, we are hiring this way…we are getting into relationships this way… we're going into places where our time and our talents have nothing to do with our actual time and our actual talents”.

“...many of us are being purely motivated by this notion that we just need to be everywhere. Being everywhere is not a sign of competence. It's not a sign of strong character… just being places, doesn't really add up to or amount to much in terms of your  market value, your perceived market value…”

“...having that clarity of priority around what you have and how things line up and what you know, what actually makes sense for you, before deciding that you need to be somewhere or be a part of some conversation or be seen someplace is critically important”.

“...don't ever be so desperate for opportunity that you don't assess for its worthiness of you…”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

Today I am taking away our excuses. If you are tuned into this episode, you are attracted to the notion of self-directed ambition. There is something calling to you that is bigger than what you are doing now. But these changes we want to make in our careers and businesses are pivots that trigger our worthy button.

No matter how much anyone tells you that you’re worthy of success, you will not truly embody that feeling until you persuade yourself of your own worthiness. To grow, expand, and attain that next level of excellence, we need to engage in the art of self-persuasion. No one else can help make these pivots. It is on us to shift our mindset and learn how to build the skill of working with ourselves and reflecting internally to believe in our worthiness.

In this episode, I break down the obstacles and challenges that hold high-achievers back from making a necessary pivot. It’s less about doing and more about being. There is no way to know how a scenario will work out so believe in the story that is going to lift you up. When you move with the confidence of you who are and what you stand for, it’s magnetic. You are powerful. You are worthy. You can make that pivot.

GEMS DROPPED

“Setting yourself up for success is either code for, “I want to make sure that I make a move that protects me from failure” or “how do I make sure I'm set up for it is what will finally make me worthy of the success?” So one is about,  I want to make sure that I have collected all of the Girl Scout badges, and the other is about I've put on enough armor to protect myself. Both of those buckets are a way of thinking that has been handed down to us through traditional career building in corporate structures and neither of those models is going to get you to your intrinsic vision”

“The social contracts that you make with people, they do exist. When we build up different brands, or even just professional reputations in people's minds, they exist, …people need to be able to hold you in their imaginations as something, we need to make sense of each other. But those brands, those reputations are not built on the specific configuration of what you do and how you do it in the world. They're not built upon the specific titles that you carry, the specific strengths and skills that you have, and how those things specifically come together. That's not actually the bedrock, they're a part of it, for sure, but the bedrock of those social contracts, and the way that people are carrying us in their minds… is trust”.

“People are not thinking about us as much as we think they are. we're caught up in our own stuff y'all, like the same way that you're just trying to stay on top of all the basic necessities of your life in all the big questions of your life. That's what everybody else is doing, too.”

“...things that you think you need to have… all of the shiny objects that you need to collect… all of the people, all of the authorities that need to approve of you before you can make this step, you don't have to be set up in that way for success. The way that we set ourselves up for these pivots. The ways that we prepare ourselves to make these kinds of pivots is by going internal into making some decisions and making some shifts around how we are relating to ourselves, which then carry out to how we move. When we move with that kind of energy, you become magnetic…’

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

This episode is about reframing generosity. As high achievers, the temptation to help everyone looking for mentorship is strong. Many of us get trapped in this version of generosity that has us spread thin, trying to do the best we can for everyone. All of these mentorships take up time and energy that could have been spent on our core vision - the passion that has propelled us to the top of our fields.

I know how tempting it is to say yes to everyone asking for help. But if we want to continue growing and expanding, we must shift our mindset on giving.

Generosity is not about how much you give. Generosity is about how well you give. Ask yourself: “What’s at risk for me if I give to this person and what’s at risk for them if I say yes?” It’s not always about filling in the gaps with little ways that you can help people here and there and spreading yourself thin. It’s about keeping your eye on the prize and putting energy in places that drive your mission and goals.

GEMS DROPPED

“...because of the structural barriers, there's no one above us. And so we feel once we get to these levels, it's like, well, I didn't have anyone to look up to. I'm now the person I wish I had been back then. So I owe it to this young, bright mind …to take the phone call to say you know what, go ahead and send me your resume. Yeah, you know, go ahead and send me your portfolio. You know what, I'll find some time in my calendar, reach out to my assistant, you're just saying yes to everybody. And look, I want you all to understand, sometimes you're gonna say, Yes but it has to be filtered through a set of criteria that you have determined for yourself that it incorporates, and really, I think, at its foundation is about protecting who you are most meant to be showing up in the world”.

“...we got to stop trying to save everyone, and losing ourselves in the process and losing our big pictures in the process. It's not a strike against you to have boundaries in this way…we mistake generosity for spreading ourselves out. And that generosity actually has nothing to do with giving a lot. It's not about the amount of giving that you do but about the number of people that you give to and how much you give them. Generosity is about quality. Generosity is about how well you give. Generosity is not about how much you give, it is about how well you give. And what happens is we get into this practice of giving ourselves away”.

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

How are you navigating and managing your path to success? The biggest challenge high-achieving women face is isolation. You are wired to be self-sufficient and have an overwhelming feeling of responsibility and ownership. Those qualities propelled you into a powerful leadership position, but is being alone sustainable?

In this episode, I share a story from my young adult life that was a turning point for me. At that moment, I realized how disconnected I felt from other women. That is also when I made a choice to start navigating life through relationships. That decision was the greatest shift I had made professionally and personally.

Now, I have gained the gift of personal connection. Relationships are essential to our basic well-being. No matter how much we fight it or insist, we can navigate the journey alone. Connections with other people bring clarity and motivation. Your advancement, your expansion, and your growth are absolutely dependent on your ability to connect and relate to others.

I encourage you to open up and pull others into your journey. I encourage you to experience the power of what it means to learn through relationships and to be exposed to another human being. Because if you’re not able to share your problems or not able to share your questions, you are never going to get new answers.

GEMS DROPPED
I've been able to shift my beliefs about myself about what's possible for me as a human, as a business owner, as a wife, as a mom, because I now know the power of what it means to learn through relationship, to be exposed to another human being, because if you're not able to share your problems, not able to share your questions or just the things that you're sitting with, you're never gonna get new answers”.

“...a big part of what I'm trying to share on this episode today is encouragement for you to find and tap into some bravery and belief around the fact that you can shift your entire existence, you can shift your being, by just deciding…to reveal that piece of yourself that feels messy or shameful or uncertain or not good enough. That's honestly the key. That's the thing that you're waiting on to be different. You have to decide to be different with it, which means to stop trying to hold it alone, to open yourself up, and recognize that, okay, I'm not meant to do anything alone in life. We're really not”

“If you are feeling isolated, and you are feeling like I know my high achievement… it's blocking me from connecting with other people from trusting other people from letting the other people in to actually see me and embrace me and hold me and help me, you're holding yourself back”.

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

In this episode, I reveal what it has looked like for both me and my clients to move through the challenging experience of needing to shed either what no longer serves us or no longer matters most - even during the “gray” uncertain seasons of our lives.

I am excited to invite you into what becomes possible when we identify the beliefs, identities, and behaviors that have begun to hold us back and shift our focus toward a more singular and intense way of existing. 

You’ll hear about how I discovered that little 5th-grade Monique was showing up in my business goal-setting as a story I had to shed.  You’ll also learn how I’ve helped my brilliant clients make massive shifts in their businesses by confronting some tough, but necessary people-pleasing and self-sabotage shedding of their own.

If you’re ready to turn the mirror inwards and consider what you need to shed in order to meet your next stage of expansion, this episode is for you. 

GEMS DROPPED

“ When I took a step back and asked myself ‘what do I truly want this year?’ I said, ‘I want a more singularly focused experience of my time and my business. I want to be doing a very limited number of activities and doing them super duper duper well”

“We all get hung up on these false narratives that are trapped in our minds on an endless loop that are delivering half-baked data on our past that are now having massive implications on how we shape our futures.”

LINKS MENTIONED

Luminae Wellness (Oakland, CA): https://instagram.com/luminaewellness?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields, and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

This episode is for everyone who is being pulled toward a new way forward. You are someone who has built something to be proud of, something people are taking notice of. After years of hard work and proving yourself, success is rolling in. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, but suddenly it doesn’t feel as exciting. Instead of rushing into the next opportunity, you’re asking yourself “What’s next?”

This is another type of crossroads. One where we are called to pause and step away.

I’ve dedicated this episode to a conversation about reframing what it means when we are called to restart. It is disorienting to feel like you are starting over or losing the passion for the brand and business you have built.

As entrepreneurs, we need to shift our mindset about quitting. You aren’t losing momentum because growth is not a linear journey. You are being called to recreate and expand into something else. The drive that lives deep within you isn’t fading. It is what will propel you into the next leg of the journey. And it’s time to get started.

GEMS DROPPED

“...subconsciously many of us are operating this way. Like, the only time I will stop, the only time I will pause, the only time I will take respite is when I get the terrifying diagnosis, suffer a major loss or blow in my life and everything comes crashing down…That is when it is okay for me to stop…We have to actually self-direct our pauses, our rejuvenation, our restoration, and our reinvention is what I'm inviting you all into in this conversation…”

“...when we build something so big, we have forged something so special and so bright and shining and powerful, that sort of the equal and opposite reaction required is a deep and powerful restoration, a deep and powerful aggressive recovery, and reinvention, space for reinvention, space for recreation, like the Phoenix, because it's drastic to go from being this bright and brilliant and powerful bird, this creature, this mythical creature, with all these powers to a pile of ash... the energy of those stages of this creatures lifecycle are…necessary”.

“...what that reworking requires many times, it's not the kind of work that we're used to doing, that kind of visible building, you know, revenue immediately driving work that we're used to doing, but it still is probably the bigger work, the biggest work of your life, and the biggest work of whatever you create, because what you create is going to be an extension of you.”

“... your potential is resting upon your ability to submit to this season that is calling you. Your potential is on the line, and you're holding it the wrong way. Your potential does not reside and you continue to power through, but something that does not feel aligned anymore. When you look forward and it's like this is not right. Something's not right for me. Don't ignore that voice”.

LINKS MENTIONED
Vanessa Lau - https://vanessalau.co/sabbatical/
Quit by Anne Duke - https://www.amazon.com/Quit-Power-Knowing-When-Walk/dp/0593422996

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields, and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

If you have been questioning whether your current business or career is fulfilling or meaningful, that may be a sign that you’re at a crossroads.

This is a common stage on our journeys where we think to ourselves, “how did I come this far, build up this business, build up this professional identity, and all of a sudden, I don't know what I want or where I’m going?” 

I think the question beneath all of this is, what am I playing for?

And so I wanted to have this whole episode to be a conversation to remind you that you absolutely know exactly what you're playing for. Your ability to connect with a North Star, and to go after that thing you desire, it hasn't gone anywhere. It's just being clouded right now and I want us to explore what might be causing you to feel as though your future is veiled. Let’s go.

GEMS DROPPED

“If you want to go and actually take full advantage of the brilliance that surrounds you… you want to be able to take that [brilliance]  in and you still need a filter through which to process that stuff. And I think reminding yourself of who you are, and what you want, both before and after events… that is incredibly important”.

“This whole thing called entrepreneurship…we got into it because we were seeking to have a more unique individualized experience of our professional lives. And what that means is, the way we are going to do it is going to be unique to us, and you have it in you, you absolutely have it in you. It's just a matter of you giving yourself permission, full permission to embrace it.”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields, and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com. 

Does this sound familiar?

You have done all the things, and now you've earned independence. You're at a point in your career where you might have a business or some other sort of organization, or department or Institute or whatever it is that you're running, where you're the big boss. You're at the top, and you get to make the rules, still –
you don't feel deserving,
you don't feel like you're supposed to be where you are,
You don't know what to do with all that power.

What's happening is that so much of what has been driving you to this point has been externally directed. And so, in lieu of knowing precisely what you want, going after and defining your own rules and setting your own terms, in lieu of that, what you'll continue to do is give yourself away to this external mandate.

You stop giving your power away by beginning to take yourself more seriously. You do this by owning that you are a star and accepting and embracing that.

I want that for us. I want us to be able to see how brightly we shine. So in this episode, I will share what has helped my clients and myself with this process of taking ourselves more seriously and really positioning ourselves to create the kind of future we truly desire and deserve.

GEMS DROPPED

“There is no recalibrating of who I believe myself to be without some healing.”

“The greatest trick of all time when it comes to career building and vision setting is that we are convinced that we don't know what we want. Because even though the possibilities are limitless, it's like I could want so many different things, I want to choose the right one…there is no one right path.”

“Just taking one big bold step, one exposing, revealing, vulnerable step, it forces you to take the next step and the next step and the next step because it's like well shoot, I'm out here now. I'm out here now. I did it. I ripped the band-aid off. So I kind of have no choice but to go on to be great”.

“If you're trying to build your unique and intrinsic vision, you have to have clarity around what it is that you really want next, and not be driven by what other people say should be next, or what the ladder dictates should be next for you. We don't want to be building on default anymore. That's the whole point”.

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields, and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.

Hi and welcome to my corner of the podcast sphere! My name is Monique Shields. I'm an executive coach, a career strategist, a Black woman, a wife, a mom, and an entrepreneur.

I help ambitious women leaders move through fear and distraction to clarify, communicate and act on their unique definition of success without compromising what matters most.

For me, Ambition Without Compromise is based on internal rather than external metrics that we never built. And so in this space, I want us to focus on our individual visions, needs, curiosities, and how our ambitions can actually support us as we grow into the versions of ourselves that we desire to expand into.

I am so excited to share this space with you. Join me biweekly as I bring you solo and guest episodes to help you curate your path to success. No hiding. No Compromise.

I know you're going to enjoy this journey. Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields, and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambition@moniquershields.com.  Let's go!