At The Movies (10 Years Later)

"I adore the cut of his jib"

Happy New Year! Time marches in one direction, and so does this episode as we revisit a concern documentary from 10 years ago about One Direction. So pour a cup of Skittles and listen as we break down NSOD, power rank the members, lost youth, weird haircuts, bad tattoos, trying to be a bad boy, Beatles comparisons, hysteric teenage girls, 90s boy bands vs. modern boy bands, overzealous news reporting and bands that would have good documentaries. All that plus FUN FACTS and Tenzie awards!

"I thought it was pretty clever, but you're not 'Let It Go' and you never will be"

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever you are into this time of year we hope it is unreal for you. We are back to revisit the land of Arrendelle and the phenomenon that was Frozen. Talking Olaf, sister-love, Weaseltown, hit songs, bitchy sisters, proper fire burning techniques, angelic tones, Kristen Bell: Ultimate Running buddy, Whistler, shitty trolls, Ice monsters and massive heel turns. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie Awards!

"You know what? Fuck space."

Hey friends! Join us as we continue our trip back to 2013 and take a secondary trip up to space, which in case you didn't know, is a relentless killing machine. We talk about jackets (stay tuned after the end credits of the episode!) unsurvivable situations, Sandy B, the Macarena, Ed Harris' eventual villainy in all films, Oscar nominations, framed posters and more. All that plus FUN FACTS and Tenzie awards!

"I don't want to see mouths sewn to buttholes, but I'm down for some paranormal shit"

Happy Halloween! We are back to review a horror movie box office champion from 2013, and it's not a Paranormal Activity for once! Instead we are revisiting the movie that started a cinematic universe of profitable horror that is still going strong today. Listen as we break down things that scare us, favourite horror movies, creepy dolls, levitating chairs, creepy old timey music, blood vomit, incredibly thorough research, the Conjuring universe and the heavy lifting done by "based on a true story". All that plus FUN FACTS and Tenzie Awards!

"I can't stand up for what's right anymore, because I want to keep living".

Hey friends! We're going back to the series that has inexplicably become the highest grossing animated film franchise of all time. Back to Gru and company for round 2. Listen as we discuss BC wildfire season, the appeal of the Minions, breakfast sandwich makers, viral movie marketing, movie theatre conduct, Jordan's "frosty relationship with magic", lava lamps, toupees, types of baldness, Brad Taylor's ponytail, Superman's posture, E Bikes and the most macho way to die. All that plus FUN FACTS and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: The Wolverine)

"LIttle kids are hilarious athletes, and it's bullshit that I can't just go and watch"

Hey there! 10 years ago we got a Pixar sequel/prequel that FINALLY had nothing to do with Toy Story or Cars. Monsters Inc takes it back to college to see how Mike met Sully, why Randall squints and when Roz took a vow to keep her eye on them.  Listen as we discuss Pixar sequels, cheating, children's sports, Canadian college, self doubt, PotC turning 20, dying on a treadmill and swimming lessons. All that plus FUN FACTS and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: Despicable Me 2)

"This is a million dollar concept in a $300,000 package"

IT has been 10 years since the first Purge, but considerably less time since the prequel titled "The First Purge", which makes this whole thing a bit confusing. Listen as we revisit the low-budget, blue balls concept tease that jump-started the whole franchise. We get into rich people home security, socio economics (briefly), our low-stakes purge activities, shitty neighbours, good deeds, awful plans, doomed young love, Hobo Joe and the jug band gang, siege weaponry, haunted house murders, bullshit "carb-less" dinners, creepy masks and the greatest shotgun in cinema history! 

(NEXT EPISODE: Man of Steel)

"It's not a bad way to waste 2 hours"

Rev up your engines and hit the NOS gang, we are revisiting a very special movie in Bow's life (some may argue the most special), movie 6 of 10 and counting in the Fast & Furious saga. Listen as we break down the origin of why this is the movie Bow has seen more times in theatres (9!), as well as a breakdown of the entire Fast franchise, an eventual 5 minute plot, Mark Sinclair, who Barry Pepper should have played, the Rock being a ridiculous cartoon, Han going to Tokyo, the world's longest runway, 2 on 1 face vs. heel fights, 80s and 90s movies that were MOVIES. The Rock losing his luster, The Lost City as a palate cleanser, proper wolf hunting methods, the mythos, butts, BBQ invites, Paul Walker in Pleasantville, wrestling references and the safety of landing on cars. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie Awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: The Purge)

"One thing about me...I love a good prologue. If you are ever watching a movie in a theatre, and it starts, and the title comes up first, and you hear someone in the theatre go "awww", it's me."

Warp speed, y'all! We are going back through a time rift and revisiting the alternate universe Star Trek sequel, which should have been called: Star Trek: Wrath of John Harrison. After an amazing first entry in the series, we examing the high highs, the low lows and the creamy middles of Kirk & Crew round 2. Listen as we discuss how to correctly eat Smarties, tough love Bruce Greenwood, gratuitous shots of ladies in their underwear, John Harrison's legacy, the Ed Harris effect, terrorism to save loved ones, red shirts, Spock's emotions, bomb ass plans, the Dick Enterprise, Bill Hader, how to manipulate Klingons and the RAPL effect. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie Awards! 

(NEXT EPISODE: 6 Fast 6 Furious)

"It's tough because you have MCU nerds who get hard for this stuff"

Yo listen up, here's the story! Tony Stark returns as the man in the iron mask (and suit) for his last solo foray before Civil Wars, Infinity Wars and Endgames. We're hear to revisit the first movie in Phase 2 of the MCU, and the first one post-Avengers. We talk about this being a Christmas movie, Tony being a dick, desert island rescue food requests, precocious kids, the Iron Patriot suit, glowing eye bad guys, Gwenyth Paltrow being a bit shit, indestructable sports bras, Tuna fish sandwiches and the dangers of unlimited chicken strips. 

Alll that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: Star Trek: Into Darkness)

"I'm so glad they lost. Not because 'Go Humanity' or anything, but because they deserved to lose for being fucking idiots"

Hey there! Thrilled to be able to revisit a 2013 Box Office #1 that is also part of the Tom Cruise Sci-Fi subgenre, Oblivion. 

Join us as we break down tight ponytails, cabins, the anatomy of feathers, stupid machines, memory wipes, clones, the timeline of the end of the Earth, scabs, bad Irish accents, Top Gun:Maverick, shapes, drones, Jaime Lannister, folksy southern accents, Super Bowl LI, naked seduction swims, effective teamwork and how long you have to wait after getting shot to procreate. All that plus FUN FACTS and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: Pain & Gain)

"I know it kinda goes against the point of the movie to judge someone based on how they look...but...the guy looked like a racist"

It's April 15th, Happy Jackie Robinson Day! We're back to kick off our 2013 season with one of Chadwick Boseman's more underrated performances as Jackie Robinson. Listen as we discuss gross racism, dancing, old timey baseball announcing, Harrison Ford sounding like John Goodman, baseball movies, infidelity, the Pittsburgh Pirates, stealing home plate, obviously racist German pitchers, biopic rules and our hatred from the Toledo Blue Stockings. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie Awards!

"Bane is funny. He's got jokes"

After 8 years of being a recluse, hidden away from the world, Bruce Wayne dons the Batman cowl and the Dark Knight returns. Thematically, it makes sense to release this episode under similar circumstances. Recorded last Summer before things kinda went more than a bit to shit, sometimes you gotta slap on the knee brace and kick some bricks.

Listen as we talk about Bane's voice, Batman's voice, some Robin bullshit, Bruce freeing murderers from prison via rope, scuba masks, the funniest death of all time, knee braces, Catwoman's reckless ponytails, Bane being a master of suble comedy, the contents of Bruce Wayne's prison satchel,  Batman being a massive mouth-breathing hypocrite, THAT death rattle, umbrellas, aggressive power companies, Gordan being a terrible cop in every imaginable way. Batman being a terrible trash talker, ticking clock accuracy and John Blake's non-existent Batman training. All that plus Fun Facts, and Tenzie awards!

"I'm glad to know someone who shares my belief that booby traps are sometimes entirely necessary"

Happy Halloween Tenders! We've got a lot on the go right now but there was no way we would skip over a chance to experience some frights and return to the found footage franchise that is a license to print money: Paranormal Activity. Listen as we discuss some of our fears, adult trick or treating, buffet cantaloupe, our last tricks and treats, Mr. Tumnus if he as an asshole, socks and sandals and booby traps! All that plus FUN FACTS, Tenzie awards and some extra spooky two sentence horror stories.

(NEXT EPISODE: The Dark Knight Rises)

"Eugene!"

It's that time web-heads! We are here to revisit and review the first attempt at rebooting the cinematic Spider-Man franchise with Andrew Garfield (and his hair) as Peter Parker/Spider-Man. We talk love languages, Flash's real name being the keyword to an asskicking, Gwen's skirts, keeping promises, Lizard men, Meatloaf, web shooters, the superior cinematic Spider-Men rankings and eventual honesty. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: The Dark Knight Rises)

"The guy has pulled Norah Jones and Tammy-Lynn from being a teddy bear with no penis? That's game."

It's been 10 long years since Song & Dance Seth MacFarlane's foul mouthed teddy bear came to life and said "fuck you" to thunder. We talk about how great The Other Guys is, Seth surviving 9/11, shitting on the floor, child stars, Ted's ability to pull hot ladies, Tom Skerrit, Ryan Reynolds' career lows and wonderful highs and white trash names. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: The Amazing Spider-Man)

"Yeah sure I gave you a mysterious magical spell and I forgot to tell you the most important part of it, sure, that doesn't give you the right to blow up my goddamn house"

It's been 10 years since Princess Merida needed to CHANGE HER FATE, and we try to get through our revisiting of it without breaking into a Scottish accent 100 times. We fail horribly, but we have a great time regardless. Listen as we talk wisps, Mor'du!, accents, mums, camp archery, rocking out to the Brave soundtrack on the ferry, witches, suitors, hood reveals, a very detailed conversation regarding the entrances of Guildford Mall, Maury Povich DNA reveals, blowing up houses, Pixar's soft decline, and whether or not it's justified to call Merida the c-word. All that plus FUN FACTS, Tenzie awards and more!

(NEXT EPISODE: Ted)

"He who has the whiskiest lips, will step up and kiss the fair maiden and bring her back to the land of the living!"

We also chat Charlize chewing scenary, sense participation in movies/tv, how attractive Bowman is /10, Kristen Stewart's beauty, the Food Network, the Billy Goats Gruff, fantasy casting, whiskey lips, needing a Bowman, alternate pump up speeches, the WORST hair, committing to a role and creepy mirrors. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: "Brave")

"Sometimes... when I'm lying in bed, and I need a good thrill..."

The movie podcast that goes back in time is watching a movie that goes back in time. We are chatting Will Smith, Josh Brolin a Toothy Jemaine Clement and sometimes Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black 3. Listen as we get into Donair meat, Mark Sanchez's "butt fumble", Josh Brolin putting the movie on his back, Will Smith's Men In Black songs (and his outsourcing of the MiB3 theme to Pitbull), Emma Thompson's bi-coastal beach houses, chocolate milk syrup vs. powder, being born 40, Disneyland Teacups, POV rollercoaster youtube, and ground coffee. All that plus FUN FACTS and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: Snow White & The Huntsman)

"I'm not buying it here because of the deal. I am protecting myself against a potential future rip-off. Thanks Winners!"

Going back a ways to the lovely days of 2011, and posting an old episode that go lost in the shuffle. Which is too bad because it's a good movie, and it deserves to be retrospected after a decade. Listen as we discuss jackets, shoes, gossip, tinted glasses, old timey racism, 80s and 90s pop culture, many Gwen Stacys, being kind, show costume themes, shit-pie and much much more. All that plus Fun Facts and Tenzie awards!

(NEXT EPISODE: Men In Black 3)