Bic Zukko's Forever Almanac: A Chronicle of Reminiscences

Bic Zukko panics as the scales of justice are all out of whack as his bathroom scale continues to fluctuate back and forth between the spectrums. A desperate Zukko finds himself resorting to the controversial Sungazing Diet, but unsure if his body will be able to survive the transformation. Elsewhere, Daniel discusses the grant he received from the Podcasting Foundation of America (for Continued Work in the Irregular) and the ambitious new method of time-telling that he hopes to popularize. So make sure that chinchilla of yours has adequate chow, stop googling “Billy Halleck”, and then plug yourself in, because even if your body can’t accept edibles, it CAN accept audibles! The theme of misguided dedication is discussed.

A dark passage in the annals of Bic Zukko’s life is reflected on when he and his girlfriend, Abigail Kremling, embark upon making a stop motion pornography. The two quickly learn that this project is much more CUMbersome and manipulating than either of them could have understood, and the executives at Wettttt Entertainment may in fact be devils. At the same time, a perusal through the newspaper conjures up thoughts on a previous relationship for Daniel that turned sour when the two went into business together selling yar-meow-kes, cat yarmulkes. So turn off your copies of “Fluid Party 5” and “Spring Break Suck Bags Strike Back 7” and pop this in instead! The topic of romance (decay) is discussed.

Bic Zukko and his long estranged friend, and former writing partner, Brodin Zaxby, head westward to sunny Los Angeles with the hopes of fame and fortune—WHEEL of Fortune, that is. Follow Zaxby on his Wizard of Oz-ian journey with Cherry Baum, L-Street, and Frank Withers Balk as they collectively look for the metaphorical “Big Money” in all of their lives. In present time, Daniel tries to reconcile unresolved feelings regarding a J.J. Abrams Writers’ Room Fantasy Camp. B’excuse me for living if this one doesn’t strike your fancy. The topic of delusion is discussed.

An illuminating chapter in Bic Zukko’s life is looked at where he is appointed to fulfill the dreams of the heavily body modded, Mason Verger. A man whose psychosis is deeply delved into as well as his corresponding taboo love with a certain Nintendo character. Meanwhile, Daniel learns of both the pros and cons of Widow’s Glass/Mourner’s Pane, but at the worst possible moment. So, tell me, are you a Birdo or Catherine guy? The topic of vanity is discussed.

Bic Zukko is pushed to the brink in this latest chapter, where a near grail-like swizzle stick of a mermaid, from the mysterious ZOO-SWIZ, nearly destroys his mind. While in present time Brooklyn, Daniel searches for the hidden coin blocks that have taken over his life, littering the city like a secret plague. Pour yourself a drink. Get it nice and stirred. And throw on an album of “Gefilte Phish” while you indulge on some fresh Zukko. The topic of obsession is discussed.

A dark passage in Bic Zukko's life is explored while he is admitted to the Ravenhill Facility for the Mentally Unkempt due to a lack of understanding of his color deafness. While inside, he makes friends with Ash Kibil-Soutzcock, butts heads with Nurse Greenaway, and learns just what's so scary about Reflection Hall. In current times, Daniel catches up with a cheater from his past, Roychuck Spinkle, while enjoying ice cream in Park Slope. All aboard the Baby Revolution! The topic of perseverence is discussed.

While reading at a book signing celebrating the release of "Ghosts of the Adventuestrians #1: Initial incident! Prelude to Commence the Start of the Beginning, Begins, Part I: A Trilogy in Eleven Pieces", Bic Zukko corrects the youth about their ill-informed opinions about Baba Yagas as he thinks back on a dark hiking trip from yesteryear. Meanwhile, Daniel praises/kvetches on the legacy of the Brothers Marx. The topic of trust is discussed.

Bic Zukko runs afoul an old acquaintance of his who is acting beyond peculiar. Zukko then examines the surreal rumors he heard about the man, delving into what this skinshaker may be going through, in a tour de force of psychological body horror. Will do for male urination what "Psycho" did for the shower! The topic of (unbridled) lust is discussed.

After receiving some surprising news, Bic Zukko regales the tale of his childhood friend, Geoff Hall, and the bizarre transformation that happened to the boy as well as the circumstances around it. So grab your baseball bat, and get ready to rip up, because what you learn here, you won’t be able to unlearn. The topic of misappropriated pride is discussed.

Daniel Kurland receives a very puzzling videotape that he fears might even be from Mr. Zukko himself. Meanwhile, Bic Zukko's financial woes resort him to competing on the deplorable (in his eyes) game show "Rope or Ponytail." The topic of humiliation is discussed.

Ya just doooooo! Bic Zukko details the comprehensively cryptic history of Jack Jackost, the demigod half-jackal reformation warrior, while explaining the euphoric religion of Gotta Be, the tyranny of Janistade, and if peace can be reached between the warring factions. Daniel takes a nap. Special Thanks to Michael Vukovich, Dan Cristofori, and Will Main.

One of Bic Zukko's first writing jobs is discussed as Daniel Kurland explores Zukko's flirtation with writing comic books, his creation of the Batman villain, Wubsocalypse, and the proceeding aftermath of the character. The topics of hubris and greed are addressed

Daniel goes through the Forever Almanac, recounting Bic Zukko's attempt to get his first Adventuestrians! novel published, and the living nightmare that occurs on Coney Island during Pet Day, with a dog named Coriolis. The topic of responsibilities is addressed.

Daniel Kurland reads a chilling entry in the Forever Almanac where Bic Zukko recounts meeting a tortured magician named Wizmer, and the demonic boy who plagues him, The topic of whether magic is still alive is discussed.

Daniel Kurland finds the insane tome of the Forever Almanac, and pieces together what it is and some history on its author, Bic Zukko. A poem is read.