Georgina exits stage left, bb corp(ses), pancakes, placentas, loyalty cards, dog kicking, annoying 'loved ones', engagements, uncivil partners, STONED TO DEATH and Emma gets rulebooked.
The two true gamers get the boot, Rughie, Aladdin, birds, cigarette squirrels, live eviction hot mess, ghost stories, inner whores, cake gate, hoodie gate, gate gate, hand-wringing, rulebooking, tight holes and Marco YOLO.
Launch night, z-listers, racism, hall pass, exes, others, snakes, cocaine, hookers, Isis, pussy, rules (or lack of), sexual goings on and wtf. God help us all.
Put your funeral clothes on! Final feast, noms grudges that last forever, milking it, moustache mistakes, true love, pointless jugglers, college basketball, friends and family and a limited amount of dick. You let Tiff down, you let Steph down, and you probably let Darren's wife down.
Poo in a box, Jeremy gets slutshamed, GC pays homage to Morrissey with a Tony the Pony meet and greet, then gets the b-oot, Stephanie and Tiffany find redemption and hey girl, throw John a vote! Don't let Scotty T win this! WOOF!
Bowie farce, Jonathan's che-banished, Megan's meltdown, GET JOHN OUT, the Lion King, pointy eyebrows, more toothbrush times, and Big Brother gets so much airtime it goes up like a hot air balloon. We've marked your card. PS: Is tea a Class A drug? Tiffany FTW.
Winston get u-kicked out, Britain's got... talent? Tutus, PVC, eye contact, fucking mockeries, mugged off and time travel to the 20th century. Beangate, winegate, sniffgate and alleged big dick(heads).
Sixteen celebrity dregs sign up total cost: £300. What is a vaudeville? Jonathan Cheban FTW. Why? God knows. Was there even a twist? Help! Where is Dapper Laughs when you need him?
Rub a dub dub, two gameplanners in a tub. Closer retract magazine deal after Sherrie photobombs someone's eviction. Who wins? He who slips and slides. Idiot general public? You're fired!
Coat hangers, boiled eggs, shady noms, Kool-Aid, piss ant, little bitches with no balls, Jenna's-game-is-done, Janice Dickins-gone, psycho dribble and Austin FTW! USA USA.
Presidential matters, wine, head shaving, toast, toasts, white ass legs, house meetings, foursomes, fish guts, chicken spiders, slop, strops, flipflops, tomatoes and pubes.
Fake gay slurs, indiscreet royal scuttlebutt, and GET THE TOAST! Paul Burrell owns the house. An early boot for Daniel Baldlose. Why not Chris?! You slaaaaaags.
Badonkadonk! Its ethnic cleansing time! James gets bi-curious, sex tapes, dipshits, lipgloss, hot tub bi machine, ham, hamstrings, celery and door knocking tommy topping. It's off with a bang!
UK vs USA! Sounds like a great idea, right? WRONG. When the most famous person in the house is Gail Porter, we've got problems. Still, let's see if the toilet strategy pays off. BOOF!
You've crowned your winner.... Showbiz! No, he would have been more interesting. Still, at least Captain Canoe didn't win it. Well done, idiot general public. Thanks for listening, we appreciate it as always. See you for #bb17 and #cbb.