Breaking Silence

Camil invites us into her story in a way that encapsulates what it means to face our stories. To face some of the hardest moments of our lives and those who acted within our world. It is not easy to give people the vulnerability that Camil does, and we know that her words will bring healing and understanding to so many.

Please know that this episode does go into detail about sexual abuse, drug use, and domestic violence so listener discretion is advised.

Learning to Cope Book

Maya is a diversity, equity, and inclusion facilitator, who has joined us to talk through her expertise, how we can all continue the conversation around equity and inclusion, and what it means to be a true ally to others.

The journey of finding your power and privilege is not an easy one, and we hope the tools laid out in the episode will help in whatever DEI and violence prevention journey you may be on

Books and Resources:
How to be an Anti-Racist and Other Work from Author Ibram X. Kendi
Me and White Supremacy by Layla F Saad
The Social Change Map

Connecting to ourselves is not always a straight line. How we find our journey through healing is immensely personal, which is why we are so grateful for the honesty and vulnerability that Jenna brings. Jenna is an emotional healing educator, meditation teacher, retreat leader, hypnotherapist, HeartMath Facilitator, and founder of the Emotional Healing System.  For the past two decades she has taught thousands internationally in group and private retreats.

We never know what might show up when we start to find infinite kindness towards ourselves.

Resources Mentioned:
Wise Little One Book
Wabi Sabi Ted Talk
Micheal Teachings: Soul Age

Susan and Alexander Prout are the founders of the I Have The Right To organization, which is committed to creating an ecosystem of respect and support for students and survivors of sexual assault. Throughout our conversation we discuss the bravery of their daughter Chessy, the walls of silence and shame that institutions systemically create,  healing as an act of communion, and how we can disrupt the power of toxic masculinity and rape culture as it currently exists.

We encourage you to join the pledge on their website, follow the conversation through their social and read Chessy's Book, I Have the Right To: A High School Survivor's Story of Sexual Assault, Justice, and Hope. 

Other Resources:
You Throw Like a Girl, The Blind Spot of Masculinity by Don McPherson
 Beartown by Frederic Backman
Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves
Asking For iI by Kate Harding

Sergeant Mike Harris sits down to guide us through how online sex crimes against children has changed over the years, ways in which we can start having honest and prevention based conversations with the kids in our lives, and the impact that time and space has on how our stories develop. Believing a survivor is not just about believing their first out cry, it is knowing that their story will change and over time. It is our duty as the listener to continue to believe them through every adaptation, and Mike is here to ground us in how that reality tends to play out. 

Mike has been in law enforcement since 1979. He worked patrol SWAT, undercover narcotics, canine and in '91, he started working in crimes against children. In '96, he ventured into the online side of things and started using technology to lure sexual predators away from children online. He's been working as a detective against child online sex crimes for decades and was the creator of CHEEZO, a police unit focused on tracking predators, educating children on what to look out for and providing resources for parents.

Resources for Online Safety
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/

https://protectyoungeyes.com/

To kickoff season 3, we sit down with Morgan from Highland Park Brewery (HPB) and walk through what is like to do one of our trainings, the impacts it has had and continues to  have with staff, and how our work together is helping disrupt some of the previous standards within the beer industry.

We started our work in the beer space in 2020 as women within the industry started to come forward to share their stories of abuse, harassment and assault. It was a catalyst for us to become a more active part of creating safer spaces for everyone in the industry. Over the years, our relationship with breweries like HPB has helped start hard conversations about the realities of these spaces and how everyone can be a part of the change.

If you are interested in our training, or learning more please visit breakingsilence.org/programming

 

Dave Pelzer is a New York Times best selling author, a survivor, and someone that has helped countless people through the power of his story. Alli and Dave talk through the process of writing his new book Return to the River,  how he has moved through life holding space for his abuse and for his adult self to heal, and what he sees now, 50 years after his rescue. 

You can hear the "From Heart To Heard" talk on our website! We are so excited to have Dave Pelzer here next week as we continue our journey through this season. Please share with us your why and reactions to our video .

This week, we talk with Karen about her story of surviving abuse at the hands of her stepfather. The idea of that to be loved means to experience abuse was a common story told to her not only by her abusive stepfather but by religious leaders.  Karen has had to reframe her story to become one about love for herself, how the abuse is not her shame to carry and  the work she is doing in  finding self love and grace. 

In this episode we are joined by Amanda as she talks us through her stories of survival, why she has kept her stories silent  and how she ended up in litigation against a powerful ride share company. This episode is a wonderful example of how we can still be in our pain and going through it and know that when we talk to safe people they will believe and see us, not shame and silence us.  There is no perfection or finished when it comes to processing an assault, so sometimes we just have to start talking and know that our community will help carry the weight of what happened with us.

You are not alone and if you need help or want to talk to someone please reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline,  Available 24 hours: 1-800-656-4673

It is never easy to find your voice or feelings when a story feels outside of you. We talk with Will, a secondary survivor who is on a journey of understanding the impact that abuse has had on his mother's life and their relationship.  As he feels his own pain through knowing what she want through, he is finding new ways to connect with her, empower her and help her break her silence even further. The biggest thing we can do as secondary survivors is to create the space for ourselves and the survivor to talk through the experience if and when they are ready.

This week we chat with Lori Poland, Executive Director of EndCAN and author of I Live Here: learning to heal through embracing your own story

When Lori was kidnapped at the age of 3, her world and the world of others turned upside down. Her journey has been one of finding her voice in a tragedy that was mostly told to her and trying to understand what it means to have "joint custody" of your story. We don't always get to choose what our story means to others or even to ourselves, and sometimes the process of healing means feeling the mess and the wonder simultaneously.

If you would like to learn more about the work EndCAN does please go to their website 

Author Lynn Forney  shares with us her journey of survival and healing which she details in her book: Choosing Survival: How I Endured a Brutal Attack and a Lifetime of Trauma through the Power of Action, Choice, and Self Expression.

We move through the power of art and imagination as a way  to make friends with our past, how we can show kindness to our inner child and how a little bit of silly can go a long way in the healing journey.

Lynn is a true light in this world and we hope you will continue to support her work and engage in the spaces she so thoughtfully creates. You can purchase her book using this LINK. 

Welcome Back Breakers! 

Alli sits down with Samantha,  as she guides us through what happened one night at the hands of her boss, a man many considered to be a brilliant chef. The need to believe in his mastery over his actions and treatment of people leads to Samantha being violently attacked in the place they worked.  She not only guides us through that moment but through the very real consequences of giving people sympathy over empathy and harm that comes from "not wanting to get involved."

Throughout the episode she walks us through her journey of finding containers of safety, of trusting people even when you cannot trust yourself and how forgiveness does not happen in a silo. 

Please note that Samantha does share in detail the events around her attack which may be triggering and unsafe for some people to listen to. Take your time or pass on this episode if it will be more harmful than helpful.

In this episode, we change things up as  Alli gets interviewed for the first time. Brittany, Alli's wife, helps Alli explore her stories and how they have influenced her in creating Breaking Silence. We walk through how Alli sees her stories of abuse today, what she continues to struggle with and what she hopes this podcast and Breaking Silence brings each of you!

Alli sits down with Cody to learn about his experience of surviving a sexual assault at a pivotal time; when he was defining his identity and sexuality. Cody guides us through his experience of meeting an older man online who violated his sense of safety, his sense of community and his sense of self. We talk through believing in the power of his words and how this moment sent him on a journey of healing and growth

In this episode we talk with Anaya who walks through his story of being sexually assaulted by his partner, in which the assault ends in a pregnancy.  At 16, Anaya knew that having a child that resulted from a rape was not what he wanted so he sought abortion as a step in his healing process. We talk through this process, the significance of inclusive language especially in the abortion space for those that identify as trans and how being a little kinder with our words and energy changes the world.

Alli and Max, a gay male who worked in the escort sex work industry  sit down to debunk the stereotypes of the industry, how access to safe sex can strip down our shame, and the power of consent. 

We hope this vulnerable and honest conversation will start the conversation around the sex work industry so that we can all be better informed and more empathetic   

In this episode, Tanya, a treatment provider for those who have committed sex offense sits down with us to talk through what that treatment looks like, the roll that accountability plays in her work and how we can all be a part of the healing process for those in our lives.