Christianityworks Official Podcast

Way too many people set out to follow Jesus and then they discover – hang on a minute, this being a disciple thing, this kingdom building thing is a lot harder than I thought. Those people are the ones who forgot to count the cost. Those people are almost always the ones who fall by the wayside.

Are You Building God's Kingdom Or Your Empire? 

As you can imagine, I get a lot of emails from people who listen to this program and many, many times, they’re struggling with something in their lives. One man the other day emailed me and he was struggling about a lie that he’d told a few years back, and in his heart of hearts he didn’t know whether God would ever forgive him.

Another woman recently wrote to me about one of her children who’d gone seriously off the rails. People going through a marriage breakdown, people going through a divorce. People struggling to be accepted in their church. People who have lost their jobs. There are so many issues that we face in life, and I guess sitting where I sit, I get to see a pretty comprehensive cross-section of those.

And it doesn’t seem to matter where people live, in a wealthy country, in a poor country; east or west; north or south – the issues are pretty much the same.

I even had an email from a woman living on the streets who’d sold her body into prostitution just to be able to afford to buy food. Despite all the growing affluence and all the things that you and I can buy with our hard-earned money. She’s a tough old world out there. Real people struggling with real things.

And into all of that, walks Jesus. How relevant is He really? How much of a difference is He really making? Believe it or not, that’s something I often ask of myself, because by sharing the Word of God with you and many others who listen, if it ain’t making a real difference, if it’s not giving real answers, if it’s not touching people’s hearts with the powerful love of God, then frankly, I’m wasting my time.

So how relevant is Jesus to you? How much of a difference is He making in your life? Because Jesus went to extraordinary lengths to bring the Kingdom of God near to you. And that’s what I want to spend a few minutes focussing on today. The extraordinary lengths that Jesus went to, to purchase for you entry into the Kingdom of Heaven, which begins by the way, down here on earth. Because it’s once we understand the passion in the Lord’s heart to do all that’s required for us to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, that it starts to make a real difference in our lives.

Of course, neither you or I can ever enter the Kingdom of God of our own right. We’ve all sinned; we’ve all fallen short of the glory of God and the outcome, or the wages of our sin, is certain death. That’s the whole point of Jesus dying for you and me on the cross.

There He hung, beaten, nailed to that wood, gasping for air, in agony, dying … because God is a just God. Justice had to be done. But the dilemma for God is that He is also a loving God. So how does He reconcile justice and love? His justice and His love? Well, He does it by allowing Jesus to take my punishment and your punishment in this brutal way.

The other day, I read a tweet from a great guy called Peter Pelt (he’s a pastor) and he asked this question, quite simply: "Would you die for someone else?’" Tough question to answer isn’t it? And I suspect that had I been facing such a brutal Roman execution, you’d have had to drag me there to the cross kicking and screaming. Why would you possibly die for a bunch of people you didn’t even know? And yet for Jesus, it was the obvious thing to do. John chapter 10, verses 17 and 18:

For this reason my Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it away from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have the power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again. I have received this command from my Father.

Jesus gave His life for you and for me willingly. He always knew He’d have to, and He died for you and me so that we could enter the Kingdom of heaven here on earth, and for all eternity. And the only way to enter into His kingdom is through faith in Jesus and for what He did for us on that cross and through that empty tomb.

God loved the world so much that He gave his only begotten son so that whosoever believes in him won’t perish, but will have eternal life. (John 3:16)

And for this reason, in order to save you and me, Jesus went willingly to the Cross. He gave up His life so that the Kingdom of Heaven would break out in my heart, in your heart, in our hearts, and take us through to spend eternity with Him.

That’s the powerful Gospel. That’s the powerful good news of Jesus Christ. It’s available to you, it’s available to me, and it’s available to anybody who would put their trust in what Jesus did for them on that cross. That He paid the full price of our sin, so that we can enter the Kingdom of Heaven by faith, through God’s grace in Jesus Christ.

The question is, does that make a difference to your life today? Does the power of God’s love break through the difficult circumstances that you’re facing today, and bring joy and peace and confidence to your heart today?

I remember a time when I was completely alone on this earth. The people who should have stood by me had deserted me. I think there’s nothing worse than being completely alone. Nobody to call. Nobody who cares. Nobody who understands. Nobody to deeply connect with, soul to soul. It’s a dark place, I have to tell you. I’d never seen such darkness before, and I’ve never seen such darkness since. Inky, black darkness. Alone.

And it’s in that darkness my friend that the light of the love of Jesus Christ shines so brightly. It’s when fear and loneliness and anxiety and pain are washing through you and over you. And you feel like you’re drowning in a tsunami, that Jesus reaches down into that pit. For God so loved you, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that if you should believe in Him, you won’t perish, but you’ll have eternal life.

My friend, that is the good news! And that good news is for you. The old rugged cross is for you. God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ is for you. His love, His presence, His comfort is for you.

The kingdom of God … is for you.

The Kingdom of God is many things … it’s multi–faceted. And one of the things that God’s Kingdom is, is a place of shelter and safety and comfort and love that can never be overrun by the cares of this world. It can never be overrun by the hatred and the sin of others and it can certainly never be overrun by the devil and his legions.

Why is that important? Because when we’re travelling through those dark places in life that we all travel through when we’re feeling alone or unappreciated or under attack, we need to know that the Kingdom of God is like a fortress that we can run into. Romans chapter 8, verses 31 to 39:

What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hallelujah! The fact that you, if you believe in Jesus, are in the Kingdom of God right now. The fact that nothing can separate you from God’s love or defeat God’s love, is the only thing … the … only … thing … that makes a difference. That is why the Kingdom of God is so important.

The Cost of Kingdom Building

It strikes me that had Jesus been carrying out his public ministry in the 21st century rather than the 1st century, I’m sure that his disciples would have suggested that they hire a PR Consultant. Because frankly, public relations wasn’t something that Jesus was particularly good at. He just … I don’t know … He didn’t put the right spin on things. I mean, take this for instance, Luke 14, verses 28 to 33:

Whoever comes to me and doesn’t hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, doesn’t first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and isn’t able to finish it, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, "This fellow began to build and wasn’t able to finish." Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far off, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. So therefore, none of you can become my disciples if you do not first give up all your possessions.

Now, any PR consultant worth his salt would certainly have massaged that little outburst wouldn’t they? No! Public Relations wasn’t Jesus’ strong suit. Just as well too, because there’s no way that you can retain the powerful meaning of what Jesus is saying here, by putting some PR spin on it.

Here’s the bottom line: following Jesus is going to cost you something. It may cost you your life. It may cost you your nice comfortable family/village existence, where the boundaries of your world are a walking distance from where you live.

In fact, everything worthwhile is going to involve some sacrifice. Building a tower involves costs. Waging war involves losing lives and assets. And following Jesus involves losing your grip on that nice cushy little life that you had planned for yourself. It involves breaking free from the iron grip that your desire for possessions has on your will, your imagination, your plans and your hopes and your dreams.

Being a Kingdom Builder – a true disciple of Jesus Christ – involves letting go of your own personal empire. Now that doesn’t mean that we can’t own anything or that we can’t build anything. In fact, in the Kingdom of God, we need business people who build wealth that funds the growth of God’s Kingdom. We need ministry entrepreneurs who grow organisations that take the Gospel into the lives of people who otherwise would never have encountered the amazing love of Jesus. But the question is who are we building it for?

You know the syndrome don’t you? The harder you work for something, the more you own it and the more it owns you. Now sometimes that can be a good thing. Any parent who has been through the joys and the challenges of bringing up children will know that the blood and sweat and tears that they’ve invested in their kids over the first couple of decades of their lives, has an enormous amount to do with how much you love them, and how proud you are of them. And that’s great!

But I remember when a couple of my business partners and I built a consulting firm that we’d started from scratch and grew it to a healthy, medium-sized international business. We decided to sell it to a public company, and that was great, but letting go of our baby, my baby, was hard, because we’d invested so much of ourselves in it.

The things we sacrifice for become a part of us and they can have a grip on our hearts, on our lives and our wills that we don’t even realise is there. That’s why I keep saying that there’s a very fine line between being a kingdom builder and being an empire builder.

And so what it comes right down to in drawing a clear line in the sand between those two in your life and mine, is what we’re prepared to give up. Let me be blunt about it. The things that you’ve built … the career, or the reputation, or the business, or the standing you have in your local church, or the position, or the title, or the recognition, or the kudos that you’ve built up over many hard years of toil … are you prepared to give them up for Jesus? All of them? Are you prepared to walk away from them and do what Jesus called you to do? I’m not saying that He will always ask you to give everything up. But in a real, practical sense, this is exactly what it means to count the cost.

What are you prepared to give up for Christ’s sake?

I am so passionate about the ministry of Christianityworks that produces these radio programs. I am so passionate about seeing lives transformed. I am so passionate about the small but amazing team of people that make it all happen.

But my constant prayer to God is this:

Lord never, ever, ever allow this ministry to become my idol. Never, ever allow me to worship the works of my own hands above you. And when the time comes when your plan is to move me on, to replace me with someone else whose call it is to continue on the work of YOUR ministry – let me give it up with grace and with ease to follow you Lord Jesus onto the next thing that you have planned for me. Whatever it is. Whatever it may cost. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I pray that constantly because the greatest commandment of all is that I should love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength and with all my mind. That’s the first and the greatest commandment … that God’s name, God’s will, God’s Kingdom should be first in my heart before everything else. That’s why Jesus taught us to pray: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on this earth as it is in heaven."

No, that’s not an easy position to take. Not at all. We’re all going to struggle with it from time to time. I know that. God knows that. But that’s the position that we’re called to. What are you prepared to give up in order to become a Kingdom Builder rather than an empire builder? Are you ready? Are you prepared to lay it down at the foot of the cross, or not?

I remember being at that fork in the road in my life. There were two ways forward. To the left, continue on with my lucrative consulting career. To the right, follow Jesus into a tiny, ailing little ministry that looked like it needed someone to read it the last rites before it curled up its toes and died.

And that’s the point when I realised the grip that my career and my reputation had on my heart. I don’t mind telling you, it was a real struggle to turn my back on my career and reputation and let’s be blunt about it, on the money, to follow after Jesus. A real struggle. And every now and then, someone rings me and asks me to do this bit of work for them or that, and the temptation still presents itself.

But truly, with all the ups and downs. With all the trials and challenges of following Jesus down this meandering, dusty, sometimes very lonely little road called the Ministry of Christianityworks that He’s called me to – I wouldn’t swap it for the world. Because in my heart of hearts, I know that what I’m doing is what He called me to do. Imperfectly mind you. Making mistakes along the way, of course.

But that’s no surprise to Jesus. So let me encourage you to sit and think and ponder and pray about what it is that the Lord your God is calling you to. And then to count the cost. To look at all the things that really matter to you and bring them before the Lord, and lay them down in the power of the Holy Spirit.

And then take up your cross, whatever that may look like, and follow your Lord, wherever He may lead, whatever it may cost. Because that’s the only path, my friend, it’s the only path to becoming a Kingdom Builder.

Disciples Build the Kingdom

Now to start to live out our lives as true disciples of Jesus, as Kingdom builders rather than empire builders, we need to have a pretty profound and dramatic shift in focus. Really! Because being a disciple of Jesus, when all is said and done, means that the expansion of God’s kingdom needs to become more important to us than growing our own empire. It changes everything. It’s about putting everything on the line. Our careers, our finances, where we live, how we live – it’s not about tipping God with a 10% tithe, but putting everything on the table – all in, boots and all.

Following Jesus is not a spectator sport. Following Jesus isn’t about taking up residence in a comfortable pew in your local church. It’s about travelling a difficult and sometimes lonely path to do what Jesus is calling YOU to do.

I know that’s scary. Jesus knows that’s scary. That’s why He said to His disciples:

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life. (Matt 16:24–26)

That’s the dilemma we all face. You, me, anyone who has that nagging sense in their hearts that Jesus is calling them on to something new; to that plan that Jesus has for their lives that involves stepping out, and taking a risk.

But here's the thing. So long as we stay in our comfort zones, so long as we try to ignore that …. that quiet still voice that’s telling us there’s something more – we’ll never be satisfied. We’ll never be content. We’ll never have that sense of knowing that we’re on the right path; God’s path.

And that’s exactly how it’s meant to be. Following Jesus, becoming a Kingdom Builder, often means … no, it always means the end of our own little empires. It’s a whole new focus. Am I prepared to give up my dreams for the sake of following Jesus? That’s the question.

And it’s at that question, it’s at that point that many turn away. They were looking for an easy road, not this. But just think about how crazy that is. Think back to your childhood – and of course, I get it that your parents weren’t perfect. But 99% of parents try their best.

Was it hard growing up in your family? Sure it was. It’s always hard growing up. But for most of us the benefits vastly outweighed the downside and pretty much, there’s no easy road to anything that’s worthwhile. Imagine if you’d turned away from your parents, instead of persevering with them. And here I’m not talking about those very small percentage of parents who abused their children – I know there are some people listening today who went through that. I’m not trying to downplay that in any way.

But for most of us, we had good parents, imperfect though they were, and we accepted their word and their rules and their love and their discipline as children accept these things. Willingly. Openly. Almost naively. And that my friend is how we enter the Kingdom of God. Mark 10:14–15:

Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.

Listen to me. Jesus came to build His Kingdom, God’s Kingdom, the Kingdom of Heaven on this earth. He gave His life so that you and I could enter it – now and for all eternity – and receive all the benefits of being children of God.

And then … then He called you and me to do what He did – to become Kingdom builders. That’s what our lives are meant to be all about. Kingdom builders. And whilst the road is tough now, the rewards that await us in heaven are beyond anything that you and I could ever imagine.

The reason Jesus came to earth was to usher in the Kingdom of God – to show us what God’s Kingdom is like and to open the door for us. In short, Jesus was, and still is, a Kingdom builder. So – what can we learn about that important task from Him?

A Whole New Focus

For the last couple of weeks on the program, we’ve been taking a look at what exactly it means to become a kingdom builder on this earth. You see, I’m convinced that God has a plan for your life, just as He has a plan for my life, and I strongly suspect the main focus of that plan is not to make ourselves wealthy and comfortable. I strongly suspect that God’s plan for me and His plan for you is not that we should get out there and build our own little empires, but rather, to roll our sleeves up and be about the business of building His kingdom.

See, our empires, man-made empires are so vastly, profoundly different to God’s kingdom. We want to build things that we can see: A business; a reputation; success, that’s an empire. God wants to build a spiritual kingdom on this earth, that involves winning over the hearts of men and women and children with His love, through Jesus His Son. And I think that in this age of affluence and wealth, whether we’re partakers of that affluence and wealth or whether we simply aspire to it, it’s all too easy to get these two confused.

Of course, there’s nothing new in that. People had it all confused back in Jesus’ day too. Jesus was out there talking about the kingdom of God coming, and the religious leaders who just quietly had been feathering their own little nests, making themselves wealthy and powerful at the expense of God’s people, well when they heard Jesus talking about the kingdom of God, the picture they had in their heads was the picture of a worldly empire: Their own despotic little empires; the empire of Rome, that was their world-view, and so this is what happened. Luke 17:20-21:

Once Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God was coming, and He answered: ‘The kingdom of God is not coming with things that can be observed, nor will they say ‘Look, here it is’ or ‘There it is’, for in fact, the kingdom of God is within you’.

In other words, this is not a physical kingdom – a worldly empire like the Roman empire, which was at the forefront of people’s minds back then, but the kingdom of God is something else entirely. The kingdom of God lives in our hearts. It’s the relationship we have with Jesus. It’s all about the glad submission of our hearts to the will, and to the rule, and to the plan of God.

And so that brings us back to the question that I asked a few minutes ago: Why are you on this earth? What’s the purpose that God has in mind for you? There are many who don’t have answers to those questions. Maybe you’re one of them.

I want to introduce you to a couple of men, one young and one not-so-young, that God’s brought across my path recently. Let’s start with the not-so-young man. He’s in his early fifties, very much in the prime of his life; he’s about to build a new house and he’s very successful in his chosen field; works for a large, corporate organisation. I was asked to speak at a men’s breakfast at his church not so long ago. The organiser of the men’s breakfast was really disappointed that not as many people turned up as he’d expected. I smiled, because you know, I never worry about numbers; they belong to God. I had a sense that morning that God had something to do in people’s lives.

It turns out that the theme that I was led to speak about, Psalm 139 (all about God’s purpose for our lives), really touched this man. It brought something to the surface that had been there for a while: God stirred him up. Despite all his apparent success, and by the way he’s also an elder in a very large and prominent church, this man had a feeling deep inside that God has something else for him: Some plan, some purpose, that hasn’t quite yet been revealed. I’m catching up with him shortly for a cup of coffee to talk about it.

The second man, a younger man, a very successful author and speaker. He travels all over the world as a speaker and gets paid a bundle of money just to show up. Often you see him on the news at night on TV, being interviewed about this and that. He’s the emerging go-to guy in the media whenever something in his particular area of expertise pops up.

I mean, this young guy has the world at his feet. He has talents and abilities that I will never have. He felt to seek me out after we met at a conference, and ask me if I could spend a little time each month mentoring him. Now the guy is full on for Jesus. He’s successful, everything’s going really well, and yet again something inside, prompted by the Spirit, told him there has to be more. As I sat having coffee with him, I know in my heart of hearts that God has the most amazing plan for this young man’s life, beyond anything that he can even imagine right now. Two men in the space of a couple of months come across my path, and just at a time when God was prompting me to write about becoming a kingdom builder. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I don’t believe in coincidences anymore.

I remember almost twenty years ago when I’d given my life to the Lord, and it was the same pattern. My worldly empire was pretty successful, but my heart yearned for something. I couldn’t put my finger on it back then. I couldn’t have said to you: ‘You know, I think the Holy Spirit was starting to get me to step out on this journey to discover God’s call on my life’, but that’s exactly what it was, and I know that as I speak about this right now there are many, many people quietly nodding their heads. I know that God is touching people (maybe you) with this same realisation that no matter your circumstances, your age, what’s going on in your life, He has more for you.

It may not be a change of job or career. For most people it isn’t. Maybe it does involve that; I don’t know, but if your heart longs to follow Jesus, if deep in your heart you want to be a kingdom builder (not just an empire builder) then perhaps, perhaps today’s a turning-point. Maybe today God’s speaking to you. Maybe today is the start of something new.

Jesus The Kingdom Builder

The kingdom of heaven, the kingdom of God, it’s a strange concept to you and me. You know, I’ve read a lot of my Bible, particularly the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John). It’s only in the gospel of Matthew that you find the term ‘The kingdom of heaven’ used. Mark, Luke and John record only that Jesus talked about the kingdom of God. At various times Jesus talks about the kingdom of heaven being here, and at other times as something that’s way off there in the future. Sometimes it’s something we enter into now; sometimes it’s something that we have to wait to enter into. It’s this idea of here already, but not quite. Have a listen to Matthew 3:2:

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.

Matthew 5:3:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

And then at other times, He talks about the kingdom of heaven as being something in the future. Matthew 7:21:

Not everyone who says to Me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 8:11:

I tell you, many will come from east and west, and will eat with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, while the heirs of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

But this whole kingdom-of-heaven/kingdom-of-God thing was and is a big deal for Jesus. Those two terms together are mentioned ninety-eight times in the New Testament, mostly by Jesus, and often you find Jesus saying things like: "Look, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a man sowing seed in a field", or "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed", or "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field". They’re all out of Matthew 13, or like a merchant in search of pearls or like a net thrown into the sea, or like … On and on He goes about the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus came not just to open the door for you and me into the kingdom of heaven through His death and His resurrection, but also to show us what the kingdom of heaven actually looks like. Think about that. Jesus came to this earth to bring the kingdom of heaven near; to tell us about God’s kingdom; to open the way for us to enter God’s kingdom. His whole purpose, His whole mission, His whole focus was on inviting you and me into His kingdom.

Why am I rabbiting on about this? Why am I making such a big deal about this? Because it is a big deal. Because it is a big deal for Jesus – the King inviting you and me into His place; into His palace; into His kingdom; under His protection; to receive all the benefits of being one of the King’s kids.

When I was a child, I lived in my parents’ house. I didn’t really appreciate the benefits of that, but looking back on it now, I totally get it. My parents brought me into this world. They sacrificed a lot to clothe me and to feed me and to educate me. They put up with all my childish ways and my teenage tantrums. Of course, I didn’t always like the discipline they dished out and the rules that they imposed, but I was endowed with considerable benefits and blessings simply by living in their house.

Now, imagine that you get to live in God’s house – in God’s family, here and now, and for the rest of eternity. The kingdom is like a man who found a treasure in a field, and he was so overjoyed that he sold everything that he had to buy that field so that he could have the treasure. That’s what Jesus said. That’s what the kingdom of heaven is like. The benefits are vast! Back in union with God; forgiven; peace; power; provision; plenty; God’s love, and the whole purpose of Jesus coming to this earth was to usher in the kingdom of God – to open the way into His kingdom to you and me.

Then He calls His disciples to be His followers, His family, His people, and He says to them. Matthew 28:18-20:

All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember I am with you always, even unto the end of the age.

See, He builds His kingdom here and now on this earth in the hearts of these disciples, and then calls them to go out and build the kingdom of heaven in the hearts of people all over the world. In other words the Great Commission, handed on from Jesus to His disciples, is to go and build the kingdom of God so that one day, all those who have entered it will spend eternity in it and receive all the glorious riches of their inheritance in Jesus Christ. The kingdom of heaven, the kingdom of God, they’re not just terms that slide off our tongues unthinkingly; God’s kingdom is everything. It’s the most important thing. "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come! Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven."

That’s how Jesus taught His disciples to pray. Jesus was and is a kingdom builder. Ok, a whole bunch of people didn’t get that. They thought His kingdom was there to compete with the Roman empire, but that wasn’t it at all. Jesus came to usher the kingdom of God into this world, to show us what it’s like, and through His death and His resurrection on the cross, to fling the door wide-open so that you and I can enter the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus was and is a kingdom builder, and He’s calling His disciples (you, me, anyone else who believes in Jesus) not just to sit in the pews of a church; not just to complain about the sermon the pastor preached or the music, but to be exactly the same as Him – to be imitators of God, to be imitators of Jesus, to be a kingdom builder; nothing more, nothing less. So, the question is: What are you going to do with the rest of your life?

A Man on a Mission

Over these past few weeks on the program, we’ve been talking about how to transition between being someone who’s all about building your own empire to someone who’s first and foremost about building God’s kingdom on this earth. Empire building comes very naturally to you and me because sin is engrained in our very DNA. It’s something that King David knew all too well when he came to God to confess his sin of adultery and murder. Psalm 51:3-5:

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You alone, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and blameless when You pass judgment. Indeed, I was born guilty, and a sinner when my mother conceived me.

And that question that I asked you just a moment ago: ‘Are you an empire builder or a kingdom builder’ is not just a question that I’m hurling in your face; it’s a question I ask myself constantly, over and over again, because I know that there is such an incredibly fine line between being an empire builder and a kingdom builder.

I see it in the ministry of Christianityworks all the time. Here’s how it plays itself out. As well as you on your local station, these programs that we produce are heard all over the world on well over a thousand radio stations, so as you can imagine, our team interacts with lots and lots and lots of other ministries. What do we want to achieve? Well, we want as many radio stations as possible to broadcast these messages because the more stations that air them, the more people are going to hear about Jesus, and the more lives are going to be touched and transformed by the good news of Jesus Christ. It’s that simple.

Some organisations we interact with, in the name of our Lord Jesus, are open and collaborative. They deal with us in love, and after all, whether they choose to air these programs or not, it’s acting in love that matters. Right? Others … well, let’s just say others aren’t so much like that. I remember one station that I dealt with in particular a few years ago; no names, no pack-drill. For them it was like … it was like this was a business that they were in – a business: Tough, brutal, dismissive, and yet others are more concerned that the gospel is preached rather than the business side of things.

But it’s not just other people: I’m not just pointing the finger here. You see, this is the important bit. I have to constantly be asking myself: What are my motivations? What are the intentions of my heart? Is our team out there doing what we’re doing in order to grow the kingdom of God in the hearts of men and women and children around the globe, or are we just in the business of growing our own empire, so that we can boast and say: ‘Look! Look at how successful this ministry is. Look at how successful we are’, because I don’t care who you are or what you do: Pride will always try to raise its ugly head, and so I put checks and balances in place in the ministry to ensure that we deal with that all-too-natural sin of pride.

Why am I talking so openly and bluntly about my own experience? Because this, my friend, is right where the rubber hits the road. We can be like those people I talked about earlier – the wolves in sheep’s clothing; people that talk the talk and pretend to walk the walk, but in the end they’re only interested in their success, not the growth of God’s kingdom. It’s all about what’s going on in our hearts. Hebrews 4:12-13:

Indeed, the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow. It’s able to judge the thoughts and the intentions of the heart, and before God, no creature’s hidden, but all are naked and laid bare to the eyes of the One to whom they must render an account.

As you live out your day-to-day life, how much are you driven and motivated by what’s in it for you, as opposed to what God wants you to do? And how often do you get the two mixed up? I know just how easy it is to rationalise your own comfort as being God’s will. We trot out passages like Psalm 37:4:

Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

And we decide, ‘Sure. God wants me to have more of this, or a bigger one of those, or a flashier one of these or’ … We all do it, don’t we? We want the benefits without the sacrifice when all along, the first part of that verse says: ‘Take delight in the LORD’. What does that mean? It means to delight in His Word; to delight in Him; in His will; to delight in His commands; to delight in following Him wherever He calls; to delight in sacrificing our lives for Him

That comes first; all the other stuff gets added later. That’s why Jesus said (let me come back to it again, because we’ve visited this passage a few times in this series), Matthew 16:24-26:

If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses it for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and yet forfeits his soul? What shall a man give in return for his soul?

My friend, that’s the language of sacrifice. It’s the language of losing. It’s the language not of success, but of giving everything up – everything, even your life if needs be, to follow Jesus and to do His will. Do you enjoy losing? Do you enjoy being misunderstood? Do you enjoy people talking about you behind your back, and reviling you for Christ’s sake? Me neither; none of us do, but let me suggest to you that unless you and I are experiencing those losses and those sacrifices on a regular basis, then that’s probably a pretty good indicator that we’re more into empire building than kingdom building. If you want to be a kingdom builder really, then you have to ask yourself these tough questions over and over again.

But it’s not all down side, because Jesus knows what it’s like to be persecuted and reviled. Jesus knows what it means to hang there on that cross, looking like the biggest failure in all of history, in order to do His Father’s will, and He has something to say about that to you and to me, when we find ourselves dangling in the wind, because we’ve decided to forsake this idea of building our own empire for the sake of His kingdom. Matthew 5:10-12:

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you, and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on My account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Did you pick it? Blessed are you when you’re dangling in the wind for My sake. Blessed are you when they talk behind your back, and point their finger at you, and laugh at you, just as they did with Me. Blessed are you, for yours is the kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of heaven belongs to people precisely like you.

It’s completely opposite to our worldly view of success, isn’t it? It totally defies the man-made wisdom of comfort and wealth and reward. My friend, we’re talking about this precisely because this is what it means to follow Jesus. This is what it means to be a kingdom builder, and that’s exactly what Jesus wants you to be – a disciple of His; one who is reviled just as He was; one who has an eternal impact in the lives of those around you, just as He did. Are you ready? Are you ready to be a kingdom builder?

So many people struggle to give up their old ways and live a new way – to give up their personal empire building habits to become true builders of the Kingdom of Heaven. But honestly, before we can change our behaviour, we need a change of heart.

A Man After God's Own Heart

In the natural, you and I are programmed to be empire builders aren’t we? We’re constantly thinking about furthering our own interests in our little corner of the planet … in a sense, building our own despotic little empires. It’s just the way we’ve been programmed. And yet Jesus – topsy–turvy Lord and Saviour that He is – calls us to turn that whole self-interest thing completely on its head, Matthew 16:24:

Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.’

That’s easy for Him to say; it’s a lot harder for you and me to do by living it out in our lives, right? So how do you live it out? The reason I ask that question is that anybody who’s ever followed Jesus knows that feeling when you’ve tried and tried and tried and tried … and yet still you fail. Still you find yourself pulling up short. Still you see the selfishness or the arrogance or the insecurity or the faithlessness that you wish wasn’t there rearing its ugly head in your life.

You want to be a Kingdom Builder, and yet you realise that really, you’re just trying to build your own empire. Ever been there? Yep – me too. So … what’s the answer. Well Jesus has the answer, and it goes much deeper than you and I might think, Luke 6:43–45:

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit; for each tree is known by its own fruit. Figs are not gathered from thorns, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of their heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.

In other words if you and I truly want to take up our cross and follow Jesus, if we really, really want to become Kingdom builders rather than our own despotic little emperors, it’s a matter of the heart. Good things and bad things, all that we do, begin in the heart. Jesus also pointed out that murder begins in the … heart, right? (Matthew 5:21–26). So what you and I need is a change of heart, not a change of actions.

Come on, you and I know that we can do anything if first, it begins as a work in our hearts. Problem is, there are some things deep down inside that you and I simply cannot do. There are some major works required in our hearts, that only the Holy Spirit can do. So to answer this question – how can we become kingdom builders rather than empire builders, we’re going to go to a man who had a right heart and see what it was about his heart that enabled him to build the Kingdom of God, rather than his own personal empire.

Now this man – David – ultimately became the greatest King that Israel ever had. So if anybody could have been an empire builder, it could have been him right? And yet he was more interested in building God’s Kingdom than His empire. Here’s why – a thousand or so years after the life and reign of David, Luke the Apostle is writing the book of Acts and this is what he writes under the power and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Acts 13:22:

When he had removed him, he made David their king. In his testimony about him he said, ‘I have found David, son of Jesse, to be a man after my heart, who will carry out all my wishes.’

Do you see? The heart comes first then the actions. David was a man after God’s very own heart and as a result, he was a man who would carry out all God’s wishes. Now the great thing about choosing David to talk about being a Kingdom builder is this: David was a terrible sinner. He was an adulterer, a murderer, a bandit and marauder. He had times when he was faithless in his life – causing huge punishment to fall on the nation of Israel. In fact, he did things that you or I would never dream of doing.

In other words he was a sinner just like you and me, only much, much worse than us. And the point of God calling HIM a man after His own heart is that God knows we’re not perfect, He doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but He wants our hearts to beat as one with His.

Over the last little while I’ve been reading through the books of 1 and 2 Samuel in the Old Testament in my personal devotion times. Now of course, as always, certain passages leapt out and I highlighted them, thought about them, prayed over them, as you do when you’re reading God’s Word. But the biggest thing that struck me was the big sweep of the story of God and David. I think sometimes it’s easy to miss that.

We read this verse, or that verse, this chapter or that chapter – it’s as though we chop up God’s Word and we miss the huge story of God’s love and salvation. You know what I mean? So it’s a great thing sometimes just to read the Bible as a story, and ask, what’s the whole story telling me here?

And the thing that this story showed me is what it was about David that made him a man after God’s own heart. What was it about his heart this mighty warrior, this sinner – despite all his failings – that made him a man after God’s own heart?

And here’s the answer: time and time again David showed through his actions that he considered the nation of Israel to be God’s Kingdom and not his empire. Israel wasn’t his, it was God’s.

Over and over again, David showed respect for authority even when that authority was murderous and despotic, he forgave those who persecuted him, he honoured those who were nothing. As I read about those things, I could see the heart of God beating in and through David’s attitudes and actions. And as tough a life as David had, I found myself praying – God, make some of those changes in my heart too. And let me tell you, there’s power in a prayer like that.

Friend, you and I can’t produce good actions out of a bad heart. When there’s arrogance, selfishness and pride dwelling in our hearts, in a little room there that we’ve locked up tight to keep God out, then there’s no way that we can have the God–given security to honour authority that God has set over us even when we don’t agree.

When we hand everything over to God, except just this one little thing, let me tell you, that one little thing is going to ruin our lives. That one little thing is going to be the devil’s foothold; his beachhead from which he’ll plunder our whole lives; our effectiveness in ministry. Because let me tell you something, the devil definitely wants to keep you and me in our natural, sinful state.

What does the Bible say? Ephesians 4:27:

Do not make room for the devil.

Romans 13:14:

Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to gratify its desires.

If in your heart of hearts you want to be used of God to be a part of building His Kingdom rather than your own empire then that thing that you’re hanging onto that you know is wrong, the one thing that you’ve locked away tight and kept from God, needs to be handed over to Him. I know you’re never going to be perfect; so does God. But wilful rebellion in your heart, will rob you of your role as a builder of God’s Kingdom.

There’s nothing surer than that. 2 Timothy 2:20,21:

In a large house there are utensils not only of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for special use, some for ordinary. All who cleanse themselves of the things I have mentioned will become special utensils, dedicated and useful to the owner of the house, ready for every good work.

I Will Not Raise My Hand Against God's Anointed

At no place and at no time is our tendency towards looking after our own interests more sorely tested than when a person in authority over us is being unjust or unfair. When they’re treating us badly. The more ‘me–centric’ our society becomes, the more we think about our rights. I deserve better than this!! He can’t treat me like that!! That’s just not fair!!

And these days, people leave their jobs and find another, because they don’t like the boss; they don’t like their colleagues; what’s going on doesn’t suit them.

But let me ask you this question: what if that boss who's been treating you harshly needs a godly man or woman around them, to support them through a crisis that’s going on behind the scenes? What if in fact, God means to use you as His disciple in this place to share the love of Christ with this brute of a boss? What if God’s plan is to transform this person’s life, in fact his or her whole family, by you sharing the Gospel of Christ with them? But instead, you go get a new job because … it’s just not fair?

Over and over again in this series, we’ve been asking ourselves the question: are you and I kingdom builders, or empire builders? Are we more concerned about God’s plans and interests in this world and playing our small part, or are we focussed on our own self-interest.

And this example that I have just given you is a perfect litmus test for the degree to which you and I are kingdom builders or personal empire builders. What would you do in this situation?

Would you seek hard after God to find out if He wants you to stay; what role He wants you to play? Or would you just go to the job pages and start looking for a new job. We’ve seen so far that King David was a man after God’s own heart and as such even though he ultimately became King of Israel, he treated Israel as God’s Kingdom, not His own personal empire.

And nowhere do we see this more than in his relationship with Saul. Here’s a quick thumbnail sketch of the situation. Saul was the very first King of Israel, but in all sorts of ways he’d gone off the rails and God had taken his anointing off Saul, and put it on young David. Problem was, Saul was still king. Every man and his dog could see that God’s anointing, God’s favour and power had come off Saul and fallen on David, but Saul was determined to cling to power … at all costs.

And so Saul set about hunting David down to kill him. Imagine – you know and the world can see that God has a plan for you, but the guy whose job you’re meant to take decides to murder you. Pretty extreme – wouldn’t you agree? Now David by this time in his life had become a skilled warrior. He was a great leader of men, and he won just about every battle he’d engaged in to this point. So with those skills and a band of loyal followers, hey – why not kill Saul? Makes sense. Nobody would get upset – the whole nation can see that Saul’s time has come to an end, and that David’s time as king has come. It’s as plain as the nose on everybody’s face.

And in fact twice – twice David has Saul in a place where he has the opportunity take his life, and twice, David declines to do so. Why? Well here it is. This is what transpires between David and Saul after the first time. Saul is relieving himself in a dark cave. David sneaks up behind him in the dark and cuts the corner of Saul’s cloak off as evidence that he’d had the opportunity to kill him. 1 Samuel 24:5–22:

Afterward David was stricken to the heart because he had cut off a corner of Saul’s cloak. He said to his men, ‘The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord’s anointed, to raise my hand against him; for he is the Lord’s anointed.’ So David scolded his men severely and did not permit them to attack Saul. Then Saul got up and left the cave, and went on his way.

Afterwards David also rose up and went out of the cave and called after Saul, ‘My lord the king!’ When Saul looked behind him, David bowed with his face to the ground, and did obeisance. David said to Saul, ‘Why do you listen to the words of those who say, ‘David seeks to do you harm’? This very day your eyes have seen how the Lord gave you into my hand in the cave; and some urged me to kill you, but I spared you. I said, ‘I will not raise my hand against my lord; for he is the Lord’s anointed.’ See, my father, see the corner of your cloak in my hand; for by the fact that I cut off the corner of your cloak, and did not kill you, you may know for certain that there is no wrong or treason in my hands. I have not sinned against you, though you are hunting me to take my life. May the Lord judge between me and you! May the Lord avenge me on you; but my hand shall not be against you. As the ancient proverb says, ‘Out of the wicked comes forth wickedness’; but my hand shall not be against you. Against whom has the king of Israel come out? Whom do you pursue? A dead dog? A single flea? May the Lord therefore be judge, and give sentence between me and you. May he see to it, and plead my cause, and vindicate me against you.’

When David had finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, ‘Is this your voice, my son David?’ Saul lifted up his voice and wept. He said to David, ‘You are more righteous than I; for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil. Today you have explained how you have dealt well with me, in that you did not kill me when the Lord put me into your hands. For who has ever found an enemy, and sent the enemy safely away? So may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done to me this day. Now I know that you shall surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand. Swear to me therefore by the Lord that you will not cut off my descendants after me, and that you will not wipe out my name from my father’s house.’ So David swore this to Saul. Then Saul went home; but David and his men went up to the stronghold.

Friend these are the actions of a man after God’s own heart. He won’t take his kingship of Israel by force. Why? Because it’s not Saul’s empire or his, it’s God’s Kingdom. So, how do you see things in a time of conflict? Is it about your life, your empire … or God’s Kingdom?

Weeping Over Your Enemies

You and I see the world principally from our own perspective. We judge people and circumstances, we weigh our thoughts and actions on the scale of self-interest – what we feel, what we think we need, what we want, how we want to be seen.

And that self–centric attitude gets us into a whole bunch of strife. That’s the reason this program is called A Different Perspective. It’s about taking a look at the same thing that we look at every day you and I, but seeing them from a completely different perspective. God’s perspective.

Here’s how I see the Bible, when I read the tough truths that God shares with me through His Word. It’s as though He’s inviting me up into heaven’s balcony to see the view from there, lovingly putting His arm over my shoulder and pointing things out from where He sits; from His perspective.

And when we do see this whole melee that you and I call life through His eyes, our mistakes become obvious; the confusion becomes clearer; the world starts to make sense. And I guess as we chat about becoming someone who is more of a builder of God’s kingdom than a builder of their own personal empire – seeing things through God’s eyes is incredibly important.

We saw how David viewed a terrible situation of conflict between the outgoing King of Israel Saul, who was trying to kill him, and himself. David’s whole perspective on this life and death struggle was this: God owns Israel. It’s His kingdom. He appoints the king. And if he wants to remove Saul and replace him with me, well, He’s going to have to do it. I will not – I WILL NOT – raise my hand against God’s anointed. Despite what my supporters say. Despite the fact that I could easily take his life. Despite the fact that I know I should be king. It’s up to God. This is what David said to Saul in that dark cave where he could have killed him:

May the Lord therefore be judge, and give sentence between me and you. May he see to it, and plead my cause, and vindicate me against you.

David knew what was right but he left it up to God. Our normal reaction is self-promotion, because we’re more interested in self than in God. But a man or a woman who is more interested in God’s will, God’s decisions, God’s kingdom rather than their own empire will leave it up to God. That’s how you can tell a kingdom builder from an empire builder. It’s a person who is prepared to suffer loss on their own part, for the sake of gain on the part of God’s kingdom. Powerful stuff isn’t it? To me, this story is a mirror in which I see my own reflection for what it truly is. Well may God say that His Word is sharper than any two–edged sword, able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the human heart (Hebrews 4:12).

And I’m hoping that you like me are asking yourself – am I really a kingdom builder, or am I a personal empire builder? How else do we know that a person is more of a kingdom builder? I’ll tell you how. It’s how they feel about their enemies. How they treat their enemies. Do they weep over the pain and loss and suffering of their enemy or not?

Eventually, Saul and his sons (including Jonathan who had been a dear friend and ally of David’s) are killed in battle. God does in fact judge, God does in fact act – He judges and acts against Saul and his house, and for David and his house. Now – think about how you would respond in David’s shoes – Saul’s been trying to hunt you down and kill you, not to mention the fact that he’s been sitting in a chair that God has clearly anointed you for – and the message comes to you that Saul is dead.

How would you react? A sigh of relief – some tears even over the fact that you no longer have to fear for your life? Would you run Saul down to the people around you – Fool that he was, he deserved everything he got. See God’s finally found in my favour. I was right all along. All pretty natural reactions I’d have thought. You might even throw a bit of a party or a celebration.

Let’s take a look at how David reacted – 2 Samuel 1:1–18:

After the death of Saul, when David had returned from defeating the Amalekites, David remained two days in Ziklag. On the third day, a man came from Saul’s camp, with his clothes torn and dirt on his head. When he came to David, he fell to the ground and did obeisance. David said to him, ‘Where have you come from?’ He said to him, ‘I have escaped from the camp of Israel.’ David said to him, ‘How did things go? Tell me!’ He answered, ‘The army fled from the battle, but also many of the army fell and died; and Saul and his son Jonathan also died.’

Then David asked the young man who was reporting to him, ‘How do you know that Saul and his son Jonathan died?’ The young man reporting to him said, ‘I happened to be on Mount Gilboa; and there was Saul leaning on his spear, while the chariots and the horsemen drew close to him. When he looked behind him, he saw me, and called to me. I answered, ‘Here sir.’ And he said to me, ‘Who are you? ’ I answered him, ‘I am an Amalekite. ’ He said to me, ‘Come, stand over me and kill me; for convulsions have seized me, and yet my life still lingers.’

So I stood over him, and killed him, for I knew that he could not live after he had fallen. I took the crown that was on his head and the armlet that was on his arm, and I have brought them here to my lord.’ Then David took hold of his clothes and tore them; and all the men who were with him did the same. They mourned and wept, and fasted until evening for Saul and for his son Jonathan, and for the army of the Lord and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword. David said to the young man who had reported to him, ‘Where do you come from?’ He answered, ‘I am the son of a resident alien, an Amalekite.’ David said to him, ‘Were you not afraid to lift your hand to destroy the Lord’s anointed?’ Then David called one of the young men and said, ‘Come here and strike him down.’ So he struck him down and he died. David said to him, ‘Your blood be on your head; for your own mouth has testified against you, saying, ‘I have killed the Lord’s anointed.’ And David intoned a lamentation song over Saul and his son Jonathan.

David mourned over the loss of his enemy Saul. David struck down the man who killed Saul. Now there’s a heart after God. There’s a man who’s a true kingdom builder, rather than an empire builder.

Most of us are pretty darned good at looking after our own self-interest aren’t we? So good that we become builders of our own petty little empire rather than of God’s Kingdom. So what’s the difference then between an empire builder and a kingdom builder?

Kingdom vs Empire

The kingdom of heaven, the kingdom of God, these are terms that Christians wave around rather a lot, and I guess in one sense they’re entirely self-explanatory, and yet in another, I wonder sometimes whether I and others really, really get it. Here’s why

You and I are by and large programmed to be empire-builders. In other words, we’re programmed to look after our own self-interest: Our needs, our wants, our reputation, our influence, our comforts, our dreams. From birth, we’re taught how to become self-reliant, and for 20 years working as a consultant in (I guess) a few hundred organisations round the world, I dealt with many, many senior managers and leaders – thousands of them.

My observation is that 95% or more were empire builders. They were interested in building their networks, their control, their influence, to achieve their ends. Most organisations had a high degree of conflict, and that’s often why I was called in – to navigate the political minefield, so that the boss could get done what he or she wanted to get done.

And very sadly, can I tell you, over the past almost 20 years now since I became a Christian, the vast majority of churches that I’ve encountered aren’t a lot different. There are factions jockeying for control, there are church-splits, there are many people who are hurt by leaders, abused even. Sadly, many-a church is full of empire builders, rather than kingdom builders.

Am I saying that all churches are bad? Of course not, but they’re full of imperfect people like you and me, and one of the ways in which our sin manifests itself (I know; sin’s a stark word, a harsh word, but hey; it’s the right word) … One of the ways that we sin within the family of God is to be a control-freak. We become all tribal; we form teams; we compete against one another. That team has a different theology to our team; that team belongs to a different denomination to our team; that team … You’ve seen it, right? We have to criticise. We have to separate. We have to … well, we have to win, right?

So, today on the program, we’re kicking off a series of messages that’s all about Becoming a Kingdom Builder, rather than an empire-builder. It’s not for the fainthearted. This series is for those who know that they’re imperfect, but those whose heart it is to see more and more and more people around them, and around the world, experience the love and the grace and the mercy and the peace and the power of God, that can only be found in an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

This series is only for those who want to nail their sin, their empire building, to the cross and discover a new way to live: A new focus, a new priority. It’s for those who want to become kingdom builders, rather than empire builders. So, if that’s not you, I suggest go make a cup of tea or coffee and find something else to do for the next 6 or 7 minutes, and then come back to the radio.

So what’s the difference between the kingdom of God, and the empires of this world that we’re so deeply programmed to be part of? Well, that’s by no means a new question. It’s a question that arose about two thousand years ago, when Jesus started talking about the kingdom of God, or the kingdom of heaven – two terms which, by the way, I take to mean pretty much the same thing.

When Jesus first started talking about the kingdom of God, He had a lot of explaining to do because back in those days, a kingdom was a very specific thing, and it was all about power and control and land and wealth. Nations were by and large ruled by kings, and those kings often went to war over land and wealth and power.

In Jesus’ day, Israel and much of the then-known world was ruled by the Roman empire. Their king was the emperor, and it was a brutal form of rule. Insurrection and rebellions simply were brutally crushed, and yet Jesus came out and said He was here to introduce the kingdom of heaven. Have a listen to this exchange between Jesus and some of the religious leaders of the day. Luke 17:20-21:

Once, Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God was coming, and He answered: ‘The kingdom of God isn’t coming with things that can be observed, nor will they say ‘Look, here it is’ or ‘There it is’, for in fact, the kingdom of God is within you’.

In other words, this is not a physical kingdom – a worldly empire like the Roman empire, which was at the front of everybody’s mind, but the kingdom of God is something else entirely. The kingdom of God lives in our hearts. It’s not a bunch of chariots and warriors coming over the hill to take the citadel of Jerusalem by storm; it’s a battle that’s fought and won; it’s peace that endures in the hearts of men and women, and children.

What’s a kingdom? Well, plain and simple: It’s the place where a king rules. It’s a place where what the king says goes. It’s a place where the king’s subjects submit to the will of the king. See, back then, kings had absolute power of life and death over their subjects, and the people who were listening to Jesus had one particular kingdom in mind. Well, it wasn’t actually a kingdom; it was an empire – the Roman empire, answerable only to the self-declared deity of the Roman emperor.

No wonder they were confused, and that confusion goes on still today. We are constantly confusing God’s kingdom with human empires. See, we’re all programmed to build and look after our own personal little empires. Laying them down; taking up our cross; following Jesus … well, that’s a totally unnatural act, right? The apostle Paul put it this way. Romans 14:17:

For the kingdom of God is neither food nor drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

In other words, the kingdom of God isn’t something physical. It’s not a bunch of religious rules. It’s not about things that we can see and touch, as much as it is about the stuff that God is doing in our hearts, and the battle that God wants to win in our hearts (yours and mine) is the battle of our will. John Piper, in his book The Supremacy of God in Preaching, says this: ‘Therefore the goal of preaching is the glory of God, reflected in the glad submission of the human heart’. The kingdom of God is alive and well in the hearts of all those people who worship Jesus, and whose hearts ache to obey Him. The Word says that we express our love for God through obedience, much in the same way that a man and a woman express their love for each other through fidelity. 1 John 5:3:

For the love of God is this: That we obey His commandments.

Empire builders, like the Roman emperor of Jesus’ day, they’re interested in furthering their own interests and power and control. Kingdom builders are interested in laying down their own interests, so that others around them might experience the righteousness and peace and joy of the Holy Spirit that only comes through faith in, and a personal relationship with, Jesus. Empire builders and kingdom builders are two profoundly different kinds of people. Kingdom builders are about sacrificing their interests in order to further God’s interests. The life of an empire builder is totally, totally different to the life of a kingdom builder.

So, let me ask you something: Come on, which one are you? Are you an empire builder or a kingdom builder? Are you someone who’s much more interested in building their own circle of influence and control than laying down what you want, in order to build the kingdom of God? And, which one would you like to be? That’s what we’re going to be talking about over the next few weeks on the program.

A Change of Heart

John Piper is one of my favourite authors and speakers. He has a way of just … I don’t know … hitting the nail on the head. Here’s one of the things that he writes in his book A Hunger for God:

‘If you don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because you have nibbled so long at the table of the world, your soul is stuffed with small things, and there’s no room for the great’.

I think he’s profoundly correct. As we talk about the kingdom of God, which Jesus said isn’t a physical kingdom but in fact it’s something that lives in our hearts, we can’t do that without talking about our relationship with God through Jesus.

Back in Jesus’ day, when He was out there talking about the kingdom of heaven and the kingdom of God, many people were confused, because the only kingdom they had experienced in their lifetimes was the Roman empire, which ruled the occupied land of Israel with an iron fist. So imagine if that’s the picture you have in your head: You’re living under the control of a brutal dictatorship, of an occupying force; that’s all you’ve ever known; that’s the only kingdom you’ve ever experienced, and then the Son of God comes along and starts talking about the kingdom of God. What you start thinking to yourself is that God must be a bit like the Roman emperor – that God has a bunch of rules, and you have to obey them, and if you don’t, then you’re toast; that’s it; God will punish you.

That’s how the Roman empire worked and in a sense, that’s how God’s old covenant with Israel worked. ‘If you obey Me, I’ll bless you,’ says God to His people. ‘But if you don’t, I’ll curse you’. Here it is, from Leviticus 26:3-7:

If you follow my statutes and keep my commandments, and observe them faithfully, I will give you your rains in their due season, and the land shall yield its produce, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. Your threshing shall overtake the vintage, and the vintage shall overtake the sowing. You shall eat your bread to the full, and live securely in your land, and I will grant peace in the land and you shall lie down, and no one shall make you afraid. I will remove dangerous animals from the land, and no sword shall go through your land. You shall give chase to your enemies, and they shall fall before your sword.

Great! But what’s the flip-side of the coin? What happens if they don’t obey God? Well, God tells them. Leviticus 26:14-17:

But if you will not obey Me, and do not observe all these commandments, if you spurn my statutes and abhor my ordinances so that you will not observe all my commandments and you break my covenant, I in turn will do this to you: I will bring terror on you, consumption and fever that waste the eyes and cause life to pine away. You shall sow your seed in vain; your enemies shall eat it. I will set My face against you, and you shall be struck down by your enemies. Your foes shall rule over you and you shall flee, though no one pursues you.

But with Jesus coming to this world to take the punishment of Israel on His shoulders on that cross, and your punishment and my punishment, He wants us to begin to realise that the kingdom of God is really totally different to what they or we would really expect. He tells many, many parables that begin with the words, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like’ … Here’s one of them. Matthew 13:44-46:

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls. On finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

In other words, when we discover the true kingdom of heaven, when we discover how utterly awesome and stupendous it is to have a relationship with God, to be forgiven through Jesus, to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to have peace and joy, to taste mercy and grace, hey; it’s so fantastic, we want to get rid of everything else in order to have what God wants to give us – what Jesus died and rose again to bring us. Do you see the profound difference between the kingdom (the reign) of God in our hearts that Jesus is talking about and the idea that people had in their heads back then of what a kingdom might be? An idea which, by the way, is not a lot different to what many people think being a Christian is all about today! A bunch of rules that ruin your life.

Imagine if you found a treasure hidden in a field: A chest full of gold and diamonds and rubies and emeralds, more precious stones than you could ever imagine, worth so much more than what your current assets are worth. Would you sell everything, in order to buy that field so you could own the treasure? Course you would! So would I! And that’s what Jesus is saying. It’s exactly what the kingdom of heaven is like! That is exactly what accepting Jesus into your heart is all about! It’s so wonderful that the few things you have to give up, the stuff you always knew was wrong anyhow, the rubbish that was always ruining your life anyhow – those few things are so easy to give up because the kingdom of God is worth so much more! That’s what it’s like Jesus is saying, or this parable. Matthew 13:31-32:

The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, that someone took out and sowed in his field. It’s the smallest of all seeds, but when it is grown, it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make their nests in the branches.

In other words, the kingdom of heaven is a place where you really, really want to be. Hey, this is fantastic: A place of shade and rest and safety … That’s what the kingdom is all about, according to Jesus.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret here. I’m not perfect; far from it, but a profound thing has happened to me over the past couple of decades as I’ve been journeying with Jesus. His work in my heart through His Spirit and His Word has taken away my desire to build my own empires, and I have to tell you that I used to be an empire builder par excellence.

I’m simply not interested in having my own empires anymore. I’m simply not interested in factions and power-struggles and growing my influence and winning the battles of control. It just … I don’t know … it doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t hold any value for me anymore because the joy of seeing lives transformed as the kingdom of God brings yet another heart, and another, and another into glad submission, into experiencing the joy of knowing Jesus, got to tell you: Nothing compares to that. No empire that I could build could ever bring me the joy that playing my tiny part in the kingdom of God brings me.

Why do we trade diamonds for stones? Why do we imagine that building our own petty, despotic little empires of control can be any better than experiencing the love and the peace and the joy of God? I don’t know, but that’s how I lived the first almost four decades of my life, and I am not going back to that. I wouldn’t give up the treasure I discovered in my field for anything. I’m not going to trade my place of safety and security in that tree for living out on that stormy ocean again like I used to.

My friend, listen to me. The reign of God’s love in our hearts is such a wonderful thing. It is so great to be desired. The more we hunger and thirst and seek after a deep, intimate, personal, one-on-one relationship with Jesus, the more God changes our hearts from being focused on our own interests to being focused on His: From being an empire-builder, to Becoming a kingdom builder. It’s just how it works.

A Living Sacrifice

So let’s take all of that and turn it around and look at ourselves through those scriptures and a few others to boot. God’s Word is particularly good for that – it’s like a mirror into our souls, it discerns the thoughts and the intentions of our hearts.

On the one hand, the Kingdom of Heaven is greatly to be desired and yet, it seems that to lay hold of it, we have to let go of the things to which we cling so tightly in this world. Which when you think about, is exactly what Jesus said we should do – a thousand years later: Mark 8:35

For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.

I’m going to be honest with you here – I can’t live my life that way in my own strength. I don’t have the strength. I can only do it, day by day, as the Holy Spirit works in my heart, to make my heart more like God’s heart.

Father God I pray for each of us who has received your word today. I pray for the battlefield of our hearts, the places where the enemy wants to get a foothold, the places that we’ve been holding back from you, the places where we fail time and time again.

Lord God, we are your people. We want to honour you with all that we are – with everything we have, with every hope and every dream. It’s just that we can’t do it.

So we pray that your Spirit would take this Word of yours that we have heard today and change our hearts, transform our hearts, renew our hearts, empower our hearts so that the attitudes, the aspirations and the actions that flow out of them, will be all about building your kingdom in the hearts of those around us. Make us Kingdom builders we pray. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Now at this point many people say to me – Berni that’s all well and good, but I’m not good enough for this. I know that in my natural being, there is so much rubbish, so much sin. And can I tell you, many people are afraid of God because they think that if they turn to Him, they’ll get clobbered, punished. Listen to me, God hates to punish. He hates to have to let people live out the consequences of their sin and rebellion.

That’s why He sent Jesus to die for you and me. Because God too is a Kingdom builder. He came to usher God’s Kingdom out into the world, so that you and I and countless others can be part of God’s kingdom. But my friend that means denouncing our desire to build our own empires. It means opening every part of our heart to the Kingship of God, to the Lordship of Jesus.

It means admitting that we are completely incapable in and of ourselves of following Jesus and helping to build His kingdom on this earth – it means submitting ourselves to the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit for God to work in us and through us. It means being prepared to suffer real loss in this world, in order that the love of Christ can fill the hearts of those around us as well.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1,2)

That’s what it means to be a Kingdom builder instead of an empire builder. Laying down our very lives and all our selfish desires and all our pride and all the things that we know don’t honour God as a sacrifice. It always feels like a sacrifice when we lay down those terrible things that we’ve been clinging to; when we go against the ways of this world, the things all the other people tell us we deserve. But when we do that, we discover that treasure hidden in the field. With all that I am, I’m telling you, I’m imploring you that it’s absolutely worth it. But the only way it happens is when we yield our hearts to the Kingship of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Despite what some people think, church is NOT a spectator sport. If you belong to a church, you’re meant to be one of the players. And what I’ve observed over the years, is that there are too many – way too many people – who just want to sit on the sidelines, and pick faults with the players.

Eternal Results

Today on the program we’re continuing in our series called, “The problem with church is …” As God calls us into His family, as we become one of His children, what we discover is, we have brothers and sisters in Christ, people who are our family, our brothers and sisters. Now being part of a family can be difficult. Being part of a family can, frankly, be a pain in the neck, some days, but it’s part of God’s plan. Part of God’s plan is that we should be together as His family. That plan we call ‘church’. For some people, that sends a shiver down their spine. But it is a part of God’s plan, and if it is God’s plan, then I truly believe that we are meant to flourish when we are planted in the House of the Lord.

One of the reasons that we don’t flourish sometimes, is that we get tied up in ‘doing’ a whole bunch of things that never actually impact people. I’m a great fan of the British comedy series – I don’t know if you have ever watched it – called, “Yes Minister” and ”Yes Prime Minister”. One of the funniest series that has ever been on television since television was invented, and a senior public servant, by the name of Sir Humphrey Appleby, says to a junior public servant, called Bernard, he says, “Remember, Bernard, politicians love activity, it’s their substitute for achievement.” That’s a fantastic line, isn’t it?

Activity is their substitute for achievement – can I maybe twist that line around a little bit and say, “Remember, Bernard, Christians love activity, it’s their substitute for achievement.”

What can happen in God’s family, in God’s church, is that we all race around doing different things, and being busy, and being involved in this and that and the other, and we think, “wow, we’ve done a good job”. But the only real measure, the only true measure of the effectiveness of a church is eternal results.

Have you ever been on a sporting team that always loses? I have! When I was in the Army, a Cadet in the Royal Military College, Duntroon, our Officer Training Academy, I was a part of the bottom rung of football, and we didn‘t win one game the whole season. It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s sleeting, it hurts, to be tackled, it’s muddy, it’s dirty, you don’t win a single game. Let me tell you, it is not a lot of fun being part of a losing team. Yet a lot of Christians are exactly that in their churches.

Are we actually involved in the business of winning, maturing and discipling souls for Jesus Christ? Are the nets of our church straining under the weight of the catch, or are we just a dysfunctional family, going nowhere? Has activity become our substitute for achievement? Has activity become my substitute for achievement? Because Jesus said to His disciples, “I am going to make you fishers of men.” If you’ve got a Bible, grab it, open it up at John, Chapter 21. The other place we’re going today is Luke Chapter 4 and 5 but we’re going to begin in John, Chapter 21. The picture here is, Jesus has been crucified, He has risen again. This is the third time that Jesus appears to His disciples. They are out fishing. They have gone from Jerusalem, about 120 kilometres north, back to Galilee, they are on the Sea of Tiberius, and they’re out fishing. They have been out fishing all night, and no catch, and a man calls out from the shore and says, ”Throw out the nets on the other side,” and all of a sudden, they recognise that. They recognise that because it reminds them of something. Let’s have a quick read of this passage in John Chapter 21:1–8.

After these things, Jesus showed Himself again to the disciples on the Sea of Tiberius, and He showed Himself in this way. Gathered together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathaniel of Canaan in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee and two others of His disciples. Simon Peter said to them, “I’m going fishing,” they said, “Well, we’ll come with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught absolutely nothing. Just after day break, Jesus stood on the beach but the disciples didn’t know it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Guys, why haven’t you got any fish? And they answered Him, “We didn’t catch any.” and He said to them,” Listen cast the net on the other side of the boat and you will find some.” So they did, and now they weren’t able to haul it in because there were so many fish. The disciple whom Jesus loved, said to Peter, “That’s the Lord,” and when Simon Peter heard that, he put on some clothes, because he was naked, and he jumped into the sea but the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net, full of fish, because they were not far from the land, only about one hundred yards. (John 21:1–8) 

So the crucifixion which was a horrible time, Jesus has risen again, He appears to His disciples, who have fled out of Jerusalem, north back to Galilee. They are out doing, what? They are doing what they always did before they met Jesus, they were fishermen. They have gone back to work, the party is over, Jesus was crucified. People were after them because they were following Jesus. That’s it, they are fishing and all of a sudden Jesus comes and they recognise Him because they’ve had this experience once before. Flick back to Luke’s Gospel, Chapter 5:1–10

Once while Jesus was standing beside the Lake of Gennesaret and the crowd was pressing in on Him to hear the Word of God. He saw two boats there at the shore of the Lake and the fishermen had gone out in them and they were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon.

So this is three and a half years before the instance in John Chapter 21, we talked about. This is the first time Simon Peter meets Jesus.

So they go out in Simon Peter’s boat, and Jesus sits down in the boat and from the water, teaches the crowds and when that’s done, He says to Simon, “Listen, let’s push out into the deep water and let down the nets,” and Simon answers, “Master, we’ve worked all night long but we haven’t caught a thing, well, if you say so, I’ll let down the nets.” When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were about to break, so they signalled to their partners in the other boats to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw this, he fell down at Jesus' knees and said, “Go away from me Lord, because I am a sinful man.” For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken, and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid, from now on you’ll be catching people.” When they’d brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed Jesus.”

I love this story because it begins with Jesus having to go out in the boat, there was so many people, He can’t talk to them on the land. He goes out on the boat and it says, the crowd was pressing in on Him to hear the Word of God. Let me ask you, in your family, in your church, where you go, is the crowd pressing the doors down to hear the Word of God? Tell, you what, there are a lot of churches where that’s not happening. There are a lot of churches where people are walking in with bored faces, they’re singing songs with bored faces and they are walking out of there with bored faces. I love this, the crowds had seen the wonderful things Jesus had done, and they were pressing in on Him to hear the Word of God, because He talked with authority, He healed people, His reputation had spread, He had rock–star status. Wow, what if people came to our churches and were healed like that? What if people came to our fellowship and wanted to hear more? What if they were astounded? What if they said, “WOW, this stuff really rings true? Powerful authoritative proclamation of the truth, healing and deliverance. That’s the stuff that makes God’s love real in people’s lives; it’s the stuff that makes people hungry for God’s Word. Is it happening in your fellowship? Are you flourishing in the House of the Lord? Or is this some kind of boring thing that happens and you go every Sunday, you don’t know exactly why you do, but you do out of habit?

Simon Peter and the team had been fishing all night, they came back, they were tired, they were unhappy, they were labouring, it’s hard work. There was no machinery, they might have had some ropes and pullies, but that’s about it. They worked all night and they caught nothing. Tired, unhappy, then a carpenter comes along! A carpenter, not a fisherman, a carpenter, and says, “Let’s push out, let’s take our nets out.” Now these nets aren’t like the nets that you and I might understand, they’re more like thick cheesecloth. They were for night fishing, they weren’t for day fishing. Now if you or I had been like Simon Peter, tired, exhausted, dejected, would we have pushed out? I think when this carpenter gets on our boat, there are three possibilities. Three reactions we can have. The first one is, “You stupid carpenter, what do you know, you’re not a fisherman, and we say, “No we're not going out, we’re just going to go out again tomorrow night the way we always do and catch fish.” The second response would be so dejected, to say, “No, look, I’m tired, I’m giving up, I’m not doing this anymore. Every night we go out there, we don’t catch any fish. I’m sick of fishing; I’m going to hire someone else to do this.” The third option is to do exactly what Jesus asks.

Saying Yes to Jesus

If you’ve spent any time listening to these programs over the years, you’ll know that I believe in calling a spade a spade, when it comes to some of the failings of the wider church in society today. But here’s the thing – we can examine it. we can criticise it, we can genuinely try to come up with a better approach, or to address some of the endemic weaknesses.

But at some point – at some point – are we going to do something about it? Are we going to sit on the sideline and criticise it, or are we going to get into the game, and become part of the solution to the problems we see? It’s one thing to be honest and direct about problems in our churches. That’s good. That’s healthy. But it’s another thing entirely to spend a lifetime whinging and complaining about this thing called church as though it’s our role somehow to be judge, jury and executioner when it comes to the church.

Jesus said “I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it”. It’s His idea – and I for one, don’t think it’s such a good idea to rail against His plan and His idea and His purposes – do you? As we saw before the break, there are so many well–meaning people in the boat, trying to catch fish, labouring hard, toiling until they’re exhausted, but for all intents and purposes having no real impact in the lives of people.

That’s the problem with many a church. Truly! Well, we are on the boat, and it seems to me that we have three options when this Carpenter from Nazareth comes and says, “Throw your nets in on the other side.”

We can call him a crazy carpenter – what would He know, He’s a carpenter, not a fisherman, we know how to do church here in our suburb or town! That’s the first option.

Or – we can give up in despair and hire experts to do the work for us. After all, this is hard work this being a fisher of men. No, let’s hire a pastor and an associate pastor – and pay them. It’s their job, not ours!

And then – then there’s the third option. The third option is the one I’d like to look at now. These disciples, if we flick back to John Chapter 21, had been to hell and back. They had seen Jesus crucified, they had seen Him die. They had lost all their hopes, their dreams, their own lives were threatened, they fled back up here to Galilee. They went back to work as fishermen, they’re on the boat, they didn’t catch any fish last night. Talk about a bunch of losers! These people were condemned, they were failures. They kind of knew that Jesus was resurrected, He was alive again but they still weren’t sure. They still didn’t get it and Jesus comes along and gives them a catch and they recognise Him. They race back to shore. What happens next?

Have a look in John, Chapter 21 verse 9.

“When they came back to shore, they saw a charcoal fire there with fish on it and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you’ve caught.” So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish. A hundred and fifty–three of them and although there were so many the net wasn’t torn, and Jesus said to them, “come and have breakfast.” Now, none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you,” because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus had appeared to His disciples.”

They are tired, they are hungry, they’re dejected and there’s nothing like getting off the boat and sitting down having a barbecue with Jesus, and letting Jesus feed you. Imagine how that felt for them. Imagine the sense of wonder and awe, and joy, at sitting down on the beach, eating with Jesus. Let’s be candid and honest here. The nets of many churches simply are not bursting with the catch. Some of the things we’ve talked about here may apply to you, they may apply to your church and probably some of us are feeling kind of condemned and hopeless. We know we should be catching fish, we know we should be making real differences in peoples lives but I’m not flourishing, we are not flourishing, something is wrong. I feel so condemned and Jesus comes along and you are feeling condemned and says, “Hang on a minute, have a rest, come and have breakfast. Let Me feed you. Have some fish, have some bread. Sit down with Me and have a yarn.”

There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Just when you are feeling down, just when you are feeling condemned, Jesus helps you. Jesus invites you to a barbecue. Jesus feeds you, then He picks the least faithful one, Peter, who denied Him three times, who said. “I don’t know Jesus,” when Jesus needed him the most, and three times He now asks Peter to do something. When they’d finish breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” and Simon Peter said, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you,” and Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” Second time He said to him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me,” and Simon said, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you,” and Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” and Peter felt so hurt, because He said for the third time, “Do you love me?” and Simon Peter said, “Of course you know, you know everything, you know that I love you,” and Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

Three times Peter denied Jesus, three times Jesus gave him an opportunity, an act of friendship. He said, “Go and feed my sheep.” I don’t know about you – but what I hear Jesus saying to me right now through this story, is this” “Church, do you love me? Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep, do my work. Not the works of your hand, not the programs that you’ve got planned, not the things that you think. Do my work, follow me, flourish with me, be prepared to lay down every last little bit and do it my way.” How will you react when the carpenter gets in the boat with you? Stupid carpenter, give up completely, hire experts, or is your heart saying, “Yes”, is there a spark of love and friendship in your heart that says, “Lord I will lay aside all that I hold sacred at your feet. I’ll do it your way, so that your catch will be huge.” God has a plan. God’s plan is that you and I will flourish in the House of the Lord. He never promises it would be perfect. Or that it would be easy. Just that it would work.

Which Church is for Me?

One of the biggest questions for any Christian to answer for themselves is – which church should I belong to? These days there are so many choices. And on the surface, some appear incredibly contemporary and attractive. But choosing a church is more than evaluating the options and picking the best one. There’s something else …

The righteous flourish like the palm tree, and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the LORD; they flourish in the courts of our God. (Psalm 92:12–13)

Beautiful Psalm is Psalm 92. Worth reading. But those two verses in particular really touch me. They speak of God taking His people – the righteous – and seeing them flourish. Flourish is a word of abundance, isn’t it? You don’t see a plant only just flourishing. A plant that’s only just hanging in there isn’t one that’s said to be flourishing. No – it’s the strong, healthy, green, growing plant – the one that’s thriving, the one that’s being all that it can be, bearing stunning, rich fruit in season – that’s the one that’s said to be flourishing.

And that’s the picture that God’s giving us of what He wants for us when we’re planted in His house. The House of the Lord. The thing we these days call … church. And whilst I think that all of the things we’ve talked about these past few weeks – things that we should be looking for in a church – whilst all of those are incredibly important … the danger is that if we focus on just those things … the danger is that we approach church like a bunch of consumers.

All that matters is what’s in it for me. What can I get out of this church, as compared to that one? Do you understand what I’m saying? You and I – we can’t approach God’s community with a selfish, what’s in it for me attitude alone, because if we do, we’ll never be satisfied.

This church here is a bit dead. There isn’t much of a sense of community. There aren’t many loving relationships. Man – that guy who gets up and preaches each Sunday – he just bores your socks off. Can’t possibly flourish in this place. But – what if God wants to bring you into that church or me into that church, because He’s up to something new. What if He wants to bring us into that church to be part of the solution to the problems that He sees going on in that place?

What if God has a plan in that place that no man or no woman yet knows about, to do a new work, to reach some different people, to heal some hurts, to confront some evil, to do whatever it is that He plans to do there … and He’s calling us to walk into that battle with Him and for Him? Then what?

Just after I became a Christian, I became part of a wonderful little church and I joined a home fellowship group. Now this group of people were studying the book of Hosea at the time I joined them – one of the minor Prophets in the Old Testament. And here’s the thing about Hosea. God calls him to marry a prostitute who has children by other men. And then, when she’s unfaithful to him, God calls him to take her back.

I can’t imagine the pain that God’s call placed into Hosea’s life. Can’t begin to imagine. And you know something, I have to wonder … what was God thinking? I’m sure that went through Hosea’s mind on more than one occasion. But this relationship, this marriage, was a symbol of Israel’s unfaithfulness to God, and God used it in the Prophet’s life to help him to speak with conviction to Israel about their unfaithfulness to God.

God had a plan and a purpose for His glory and for His people that went way beyond Hosea’s comfort and needs. He called this man Hosea to suffer real and terrible pain, the excruciating pain of an unfaithful wife – for God’s glory.

In other words – it’s not always about you and me. It’s not always about our comfort and our needs being met. Sometimes God will call us into a place that just doesn’t make sense.

Now – I’ve persevered in churches – some where perhaps I should have left earlier. There was one church that I was part of where attitudes towards sexual immorality amongst the church leadership were wrong. There were people in key ministry positions who were living with members of the opposite sex without being married.

You might call me old fashioned. But that’s one of the things – one of the very few things actually – that God says – don’t do! And you know something, whilst that was going on in the ministry team, whilst that was being tolerated by the leadership – there’s no way that God is going to bless that church. There’s no way that it’s going to honour and glorify God and go forward in a powerful way.

Eventually – even though my heart was to stay in that church and make a difference, I left. And there have been times in my life where I’ve been in church wilderness, not knowing precisely where God wants me.

I truly believe that God does want our needs met. That’s one part of flourishing in the house of the Lord. But the flip side of that coin, the side that’s about taking up our cross and following Jesus – that involves sacrifice. And the one thing I’ve discovered in my Christian walk is that in order for me to flourish, I need pruning. We can’t flourish without sacrifice either. So – whilst all those things we’ve talked about are incredibly important in evaluating what’s going on in a church, the number one reason for me to belong to one particular church rather than all the others I have to choose from, is this:

I want to be where God wants me to be, no matter what the cost. The tree doesn’t plant itself, it is planted. And the one who plants is God. And if He plants you over in that corner of His house and me over in another corner – let that be His sovereign choice, that we honour, because we love Him.

It won’t always make sense. It may never make sense. But once He tells us where – once we know deep in our hearts where He wants us, you know something? That’s where we belong!

Church has its ups and downs. Sure it does. Anybody who’s ever been part of a church will know that. And so many people are just hanging in there. At best. But would it surprise you to know that God’s plan for your life – is for you to flourish in the house of the Lord?

Community and Commitment

Have you noticed the more money people earn, the more choices we have – the more choices we have, the busier we are at work and with kids, and we get tired? And so these days, getting a sense of community going is really hard. There are lots of lonely people around the country and around the world and yet God has this plan for His family. God has a plan that His family should get together and be a family and that plan is called ‘church.’ Now, for a lot of people, church is a four–letter word. A lot of people are browned off with church. They’ve tried it, they’ve had enough. People are starting to write textbooks about this huge number of Bible believing Christians, who have decided they are not doing ‘church’ anymore. And for someone who hasn’t come to faith in Jesus Christ yet, the whole notion of church is old fashioned, out of date, and irrelevant. So church gets a lot of bad press. Yet God writes, Himself, in Psalm 68, verse 6, it says that, “God sets the lonely in families.” So God has a plan for His children, for His people to be a part of a family and that family, by and large, is called ‘church.’

Now our society is struggling with having a sense of community. Just out there every day in life, lots of people are struggling to connect with one another and a lot of people never do, a lot of people feel very lonely. And to tell you the truth, in a lot of quarters, the church is struggling as well, to create a sense of community. So often churches come up with programs, you know, they have this program for the youth and they do all these programs. It’s almost like you are going to McChurch, you know, it’s – two all–beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun – approach to Church, where you’re kind of ground through the mill.

Community is about relationships. Community is about, well, it’s organic, isn’t it? It’s naturally people getting on with one another, living with one another as a family, helping one another, compensating for one another. I was reading something that a man by the name of Malcolm Langford wrote. He’s a lawyer and a musician. He wrote this,

“I have a dream of a Christian community that when I entered, you were excited to see me. When I revealed my wounds, you held me close. When I lost my job, you paid my rent. When I needed a home, you became my family. When I followed billboards, you led me to the cross. When I ran after mini–loves, you opened my eyes to ‘The’ Lover. When I was self–absorbed, you taught me to love the broken. When I hurt others, you showed me the struggle for justice. When I destroyed everything, you helped me to create beauty. When I let you see my true self, you celebrated my journey and when one day heaven’s glories opened to call me home, I was torn.”

That’s a beautiful verse isn’t it? It’s a beautiful picture of what Christian community should look like.

But sadly a lot don’t. Sadly a lot of people who attend churches, with the right intention – the intention of worshipping God, the intention of hearing His Word proclaimed, the intention of being part of a family. Where they love and are loved, where they support and are supported, where they’re cared for and they care. People go to church with that intention, yet so many churches struggle in this area of community. After all, if a church isn’t a family, if a church doesn’t provide community, well, we might as well all just stay home and listen to sermons on the radio or CD. That’s great but it doesn’t help us to be a part of a family. I would strongly encourage you, if you are struggling with church; you hang in with us, this week on the program, because I believe that God wants us to flourish in the House of the Lord.”

Churches can do programs, they can do ministry activities, we can do that till we’re blue in the face and yet not build relationships and not have a sense of community. Community is the Holy Spirit stirring our hearts and moving our hands, you and me. And today in this message that I’ve called, “Flourishing in the House of the Lord,” the first in a four part series, we are going to look at three key impediments to that sense of community. We are going to name them, identify them and I pray, help remove them.

The first of those is the impediment of ‘commitment.’ When you think of a relationship, as a relationship between two people matures, it moves from being casual to ultimately becoming a relationship of commitment. Marriage is like that, boy meets girl, they are attracted to one another, they might date, they might stop dating, they might date again and progressively they go through a process of commitment, of becoming engaged, spending some time in engagement and then becoming married and the whole ‘marriage’ thing is supposed to be a life long commitment to one another. And as that commitment begins with marriage, so the relationship deepens and matures, that’s Gods plan. I know it doesn’t always work out that way. I know half of all marriages, almost, end in divorce, but that’s God’s plan of a mature relationship between a man and a woman, husband and wife.

In the New Testament, the word ‘church‘, well, there are two words for it. One is the Greek word “Ecclesia” Now, I don’t normally talk about Greek words, but this is important. One is the Greek word “Ecclesia”. It literally means – an assembly. I guess that’s what we do Sunday mornings or Sunday evenings, when the Church meets together. It’s the word that we get, “Ecclesiastical” from. The other word is “Koinonia”, it means – a fellowship, it comes from a group of words that have a root meaning of – to share something in common. You can do ‘ecclesia‘, you can meet together on Sunday morning as an assembly and have zero commitment, but you can’t do ‘koinonia’ church that is ‘fellowship ’church, without commitment being a foundation of the relationship. You might say, “Well, I’m committed to church, I think.”

Let’s have a read of what God says in Psalm 92, verses 12 to 14. If you’ve got a Bible, grab it and open it up. This is a great passage. He says this,

“The righteous flourish like a palm tree and a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the House of the Lord and they flourish in the courts of our God. In old age they still produce fruit, they are always green and full of sap, showing that the Lord is upright, He is my rock and there is no unrighteousness in Him.” (Psalm 92: 12–14)

The plan for us is that we should be trees like the cedars of Lebanon and like palm trees, planted in the House of the Lord. The problem is that these days we want to be ‘pot plant’ Christians. We don’t want to put our roots down in the House of the Lord. We don’t want to be part of the fellowship. We want to say, “Well, I’m a Christian and I don’t need those other Christians. They’re a pain in the neck sometimes, so what I’ll be is, I will be a pot plant Christian. In my pot I’ll be protected, I won’t be hurt, I won’t be disillusioned.” Maybe you have been through that, in the past, in a church and you’ve had enough. The hurt has never gone and so you’ve put yourself in a pot instead of a forest. You put yourself in a pot instead of the House of the Lord, where we’re intended to flourish. You put a pot in the wind and it dries out, it blows over. Ultimately you put a pot out there in the weather and the chances are the tree will die. To flourish means to grow well, to thrive, to luxuriate, to be at a time of the highest productivity, and excellence or influence.

And my hunch is it’s not up to us to transplant ourselves from one church to another. You’ve probably heard of that term – going church shopping! Isaiah Chapter 61, verse 3, says that “we are trees of righteousness, the plantings of the Lord.” Where we are planted is God’s choice!

Am I planted in the right place? Well, there are two answers to that question. What does God want and what do our feelings tell us, and frankly, sometimes they are different. Are we prepared to put the calling of the Holy Spirit above our feelings and say, “Lord, am I planted in the right place, have you got me in the right place?” If the answer is “Yes”, from God, then it’s time to get committed, but if the answer is “No”, we’d better find out where God wants to plant us and go there and be committed.

Pot–Bound Christians

We’re taking a look today at what it means to flourish in the House of the Lord. Flourish is such a wonderful word. Such an abundant word. And that’s God’s Word for what He wants for you and me – in His family, this thing we call “church”.

Now sometimes people who call themselves Christians, well, they’ve had enough of the “church” thing. Lots have, lots have left and yet still believe in Jesus Christ. Instead of being planted in the House of the Lord, they become pot plant Christians and when we’re pot bound (have you seen a tree or a plant that’s potbound?) You pull it out of its pot and its roots are all gnarled, sometimes you can’t even get it out of its pot. De–potting can be painful, sometimes you have to break the pot or prune the root–ball, but it’s necessary for the health of the tree.

Psalm 92 and in v 13 it says this,

“When they are planted in the House of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God.”

Have you ever been in an office building and seen some pot plants, and they are individual pot plants, but they are put in a container and they kind of put bark or stones over the top? And there’s this illusion that they are all in the one pot, but the reality is they’re still, (under the stones or gravel or the bark), they’re still in pots, separated from one another.

Let’s not kid ourselves! Am I pot bound, are you pot bound? Are we attending a church or being a part of a Christian fellowship and yet, still not putting our roots down, still not truly being a part of God’s plan? What’s my pot, what’s your pot? Is it maybe a past hurt, is it maybe a cultural thing, you don’t feel that you fit in with the other people? Have we become cynical, are we afraid of being hurt? I don’t feel like this or that, I feel out of place. There are so many reasons for being pot bound. But an amazing thing happens – when you take a plant out of a pot, maybe the plant is small and stunted, and you put it in the ground and you let its roots go down – deep into the ground, like an attitude of heart that we need to have, a deep attitude of heart – it gets strength, it grows. It does things it could never have done in the pot, it bears fruit. Now you might say to me, “But, Berni, I have been to a church or I go to a church – I just feel dead. In this so called fellowship, I feel like there are no connections, there’s no relationship.”

Have you ever seen a deciduous tree during winter? It looks dead, it just looks like a bunch of sticks that have died and yet in the season of winter, in that time of trial, cold, windy, blowing, that tree is storing up sap and getting ready to blossom in the spring. So often God calls people to a fellowship, calls them to a place and they transplant themselves before they bear fruit. In Luke’s Gospel, Chapter 13 and verse 6, flip there if you have a Bible. This is a parable, a story. Jesus told it. He said,

“A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard – that was an odd thing to do – and he came looking for fruit on it, and found none, so he said to the gardener, “See here, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree and I still haven’t found any, cut it down! Why should it be wasting the soil”, and the gardener replied, “Sir, let it alone for one more year until I dig around it and put manure on it. If it bears fruit next year, well and good but if not, you can cut it down.”

What the heck was a fig tree doing in a vineyard? The answer is, the owner planted it there!

Sometimes we feel a bit like a fig tree in a vineyard. Sometimes we look at the vines and they look at us – they’re growing grapes and we are growing figs and we think, “I don’t belong here.” Yet in this parable, it was clearly the owner’s choice where to plant the fig tree. And in God’s family, I believe that it is God’s choice where to plant the fig tree, you and me. “Oh, I feel this, I feel that! It’s hard!” The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. I don’t believe it is up to us to get up and go. Are we operating in the flesh or in the spirit? Are we following our feelings or following God? If the owner came looking for you where He planted you, would He find you? And would He find you bearing fruit, because a mature tree should be producing fruit.

It’s not a tree inspection. The owner doesn’t come and look at the bark, and the texture and the shape and the colour and the leaves. The owner was looking for fruit. God is the owner. God’s not interested in looks or feelings, God is interested in fruit and in the church, God wants it to be full of established trees, producing fruit. Flourishing in the courts of our God. Flourishing in the House of the Lord. Something is wrong if there’s no fruit. Maybe if you go to God and you pray about it, maybe God will tell you, “I think you are in the wrong Church, I’d like you over here, or over there.” Now, my hunch is that’s in the minority, vastly in the minority, because there is no perfect church. But if you feel that God is saying to you, “I’ve got somewhere else for you to go, there’s a new fellowship, a new thing that I’m doing, get up and go.” But if God comes back to you when you pray about this and says, “No, you’re in the right place!” Well, maybe it’s time to say, ’Well, God, if I’m in the right place, if this is were you want me to be planted, even though I’m a fig tree and they’re all grape vines, I’m going break that pot. I’m going to get committed; I’m going to put my roots down in the House of the Lord. That’s the first major impediment, is a lack of commitment.

The second one is being judgmental. Flip in your Bible again to Matthew, Chapter 7, verses 1 to 5. You may have heard me speak about these verses before in a different context. Here Jesus says,

“Do not judge so that you may not be judged, for with the judgment that you make, you will be judged and the measure that you give, you’ll be measured. Why do you see the speck in your neighbours eye, but you don’t notice the log in your own? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Come here, let me take the speck out of your eye,” while a log is in your own eye? You hypocrite! First, take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.”

We love to judge other people, especially if we are a fig tree and they are grapevines. We love to condemn and backstab and gossip – people do. “I can’t believe what Mary did the other day. I don’t mean to gossip, but! I would never have done it that way.” How often do you sit down with people who say, “I am a Christ follower,” and hear them use language like that about other people? That is judgmental. Jesus said, “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.”

I used to be in bondage to this. I used to have a saying before I came to Christ. ‘It’s so hard to soar like an eagle, when you are surrounded by turkeys.’ I was critical, I used to get so frustrated and it was ruining my life. I remember my wife, when we were first married, when she washed her hands, she would never wipe the sink down, and it used to drive me nuts, because I grew up in a house where we learned to wipe the sink down. Does that make me better than her? Absolutely not, she just doesn’t wipe the sink down when she has washed her hands, and it was ruining our relationship. It’s the little foxes that spoil the vine, and the same is true inside a church.

Let’s get a revelation here. I have enough of my own sins that God is working through with me, without being in bondage to your sins. Let me tell you, you have enough of your own without being in bondage to my sins or the sins of the people in your church and we get in bondage to other people’s sins when we judge them, because it drives us nuts. Because we focus on the things they are doing wrong, and when we become judgmental, it tears the family apart, just like it does brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. There’s no perfect church. If there was and I went to it, it wouldn’t be perfect any more. There are no perfect people. It is an absolute given, that if we say, “ Hang on a minute, God has called me to this church, He has called me to this place, I’m going to break the pot, I’m going to go… “ If we put our roots down we will experience, first hand, the sins of others. That’s the nature of the beast. We need to stop fighting that – come on! We have strengths and weaknesses, and the next person in the church has strengths and weaknesses, and if I am going to be a godly Christian, Spirit–filled , committed brother in the body of Christ, will I accept the responsibility of saying to my brothers and my sisters, “I’ll love you even when you fail me.” How about it, will we?

It’s Not that Hard Really

Today we are looking at the fact that so often, we come to the church with a lack of commitment. We come to God’s family with a lack of commitment and a sense of judgment and we wonder why this whole ‘church’ thing doesn’t feel like a community. Isn’t it easy to go to a family, to a church and expect to be served rather than to be one of the servants? I’ve heard that term “church shopping’ so many times. It‘s not about being a consumer. It’s not about saying, “What’s the best for me?” For me, the only reason that I should be a part of this church, rather than that church, is that God has called me to be in this church. Well, it’s all well and good, to talk about trees and roots and pots and figs and grapes, but exactly how do we do this?

Romans Chapter 12, verse 2 says this.

Be not conformed to the ways of this world.

Can I take ’world’ out and stick ’church’ in for a minute? “Be not conformed to the ways of this church.” Sometimes in our churches, sometimes in our families, we’re dysfunctional. The grapevines are screaming at the fig trees, “Be a grape vine!” The fig trees are screaming at the grapevines, “Be a fig tree!” Yet God’s Word teaches us we are all different, and complimentary. Me, I’m not someone for having lots of people around all the time; I prefer to be on my own a little bit more. I’ve had some dysfunction in my family. I’ve been through divorce. I’ve spent some time thinking about that and my motivation is to proclaim God’s Word to you, just as I am right now. So I bring gifts and weaknesses to the table, that you don’t, and you, you bring gifts and weaknesses to the table, that I could never bring. If we can only be who we are and open ourselves to the Holy Spirit, to work out His love in us, what a wonderful place church would be.

Yes, grow, yes, become mature, yes, become holy, but don’t try to bear grapes if you are a fig tree. Be big, sweet, succulent, juicy figs, whatever the grapevines happen to think about – spiritualise this stuff sometimes, but there are so many little things that you and I can do to exercise our giftings, in our church. To put our roots down, to share the goodness of God in our lives, with other people. I remember when I first went to church, there was a man called Peter, and he looked like a big sea captain, with a grey beard, you know, just like straight out of central casting, and if Peter hadn’t come and shaken my hand, you know, I was scared going to a church. It wasn’t what I wanted to do. If he hadn’t come and shaken my hand and done that little thing and served me, I don’t know if I would have gone back the next Sunday. I don’t know if I would be here with you now.

Or sometimes we see someone when we go there on Sunday morning, and think, “I don’t know, maybe they just need someone to lean on. Maybe I should invite them out for a cup of coffee during the week.” Maybe during the week you think about someone, maybe you could pick up the phone and call them. Can I suggest that it should be a priority for each one of us, to build at least one or two close friendships in the family of God? It’s the little things, the phone calls, the words of encouragement, the prayers. If you believe that God has planted you in this family, will you also believe that He will lead you to people for whom He has custom made your fruit? People who need to eat figs just like the ones you produce.

We need to be committed in order to flourish. We need to have the courage to stop judging. Set ourselves free from the weaknesses of other people, and we need to have practical acts of love going. It won’t always be convenient. The flesh won’t always like it and probably we’ll get hurt along the way, but will you be a part of this community for Christ’s sake? Will you go to the House of the Lord and flourish where God has planted you? “The righteous flourish like a palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon, they are planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God.”

It’s the easiest thing in the world to poke fun at this thing we call church. To reject it as being irrelevant, outdated. So many people though – so many people, the same people who reject church – are looking for something, hungering for something, aching for … something. Hmm.

The Book and Its Cover

My favourite definition of marketing is this – that it’s the ultimate triumph of style over substance. Not sure where I first heard that – but it’s stuck with me for a good many years now. Marketing – the ultimate triumph of style over substance.

And you see it all the time – big impersonal banks, where the customer is just a number and our needs and problems have to fit into their systems and products, and where increasingly the only way that we can interact with them is through disempowered and sometimes poorly trained, anonymous operators, jammed into their cubicles like battery hens in some call centre – those same banks will run adds on TV with families and happy smiling faces and friendly bank managers.

There’s a complete discontinuity between the substance of who they are and what they provide and the style that they hold out in their advertising and marketing campaigns. But that doesn’t stop them – because after all, marketing is the ultimate triumph of style over substance.

Well – perhaps that’s a little cynical, but you know what I mean. Spin doctors and advertising agencies are paid trillions of dollars each year to put a friendly face on unfriendly corporations, and to put a positive spin on the most awful of realities. And they do such a great job of it that Mr or Mrs Consumer out here in consumer–land – well we struggle to know the difference anymore between style and substance. The two have blurred – reality is a combination not only of the service provided, but of how we feel about the provider – and that latter bit was shaped by the marketing. What’s the truth, what’s reality? Who cares. Many of us have in fact, given up caring. It’s all too hard.

And so – we kind of tacitly, implicitly accept the blurring of style and substance we don’t think about it too much anymore and so we carry this blurred reality into our experience of church. Now – there are so many different forms of church. From the small group that will be meeting in my family room and backyard this coming Sunday, through to a big, traditional cathedral with a prayer–book liturgy and hymns sung to organ music, through to the contemporary mega church down the road with seven services of 5000 people each packed into every Sunday, to the community church of 80 or so people in our local suburb … and anything and everything in between.

Some seem good at developing contemporary packaging and branding and signage and websites. Others seem stuck in a time–warp. Some seem to have dynamic preachers up front – talking about things that appear relevant. Others have these men droning out a sermon that goes on interminably and doesn’t appear to have anything to say for my life and yours in the coming week.

Some churches appear to be steeped in the tradition of religion – men in gowns and set prayers and specific terminology like sanctification and propitiation. Others talk in plain language and you’d be flat out recognising the full time minister because that person looks just like all the other people.

Do you see what I’m saying? There are so many different styles of church. Some follow almost a rock concert approach or style for their weekly meetings or services, others use a liturgy that was developed in the 1600’s. The array of approaches and styles – the packaging if you like – is so incredibly diverse. Some churches are huge – some are tiny. An incredible array.

One of the questions people often ask me when they first give their lives over to Jesus – when they accept him as the one who saves them from their sin and when they accept Him as the Lord of their lives – they ask me which church should I go to?

And in one sense, that’s a bit like asking me which shirt should I buy? Which pair of shoes should I buy? Should I live in a house or an apartment? The answer is – I don’t know – because churches come in all different shapes and sizes. Different styles.

And the church that represents a good fit with who I am and where I’m at, may be entirely different to the one that’s a good fit with you, given who you are and where you’re at.

For instance – being a baby boomer, the whole idea of denominationalism doesn’t fit well with me. Nothing wrong with having denominations per se – in fact there can be some very good things that come along with that. It’s just not me. I’m concerned more with who we are as a church in the suburb where we live, and how we can be the hands and the feet and the heart and the voice of Jesus in the context of our local community.

You may have an entirely different viewpoint – and that’s just fine and dandy. So the first thing – the first thing to recognise is that books can have a similar message, even though they have quite different covers and even if the authors have different styles and different ways of telling the story. And rather than dismissing that reality – I think it’s something we should deal with – directly and openly because it’s a reality. There are quite a number of styles of church that I don’t plug into easily. The sooner I accept that reality, the sooner I’m going to discover the place that God means me to be.

But as important as it is to recognise the differences and to figure out where we’re a good fit and where we aren’t there’s something more important than the style – and that’s the substance.

I’ve seen plenty of churches that have a great contemporary style that I think I can plug into – in fact, I went to one for a while. But after a few months, I realised that there was something significant lacking there when it came to substance. The first was this:

I realised I could give up taking my Bible with me to church each Sunday – because I was never called to open it. And secondly, I realised – and this is what we were chatting about yesterday on the program – that the only way to become part of the church was to participate in programs – community was program driven, it wasn’t genuine and organic and heart felt. Now in a few weeks time, we’re going to be chatting about things to look for in a church. And we’ll be going into this in a whole lot more detail.

But I think the substance of a church – what lies at the heart of the church – is really important. And the three things that I look for when it comes to this whole thing about substance are these:

(1) First – I want to see that this is a bunch of people who are passionate about Jesus – whose trust is in Him, whose lives are bowed down to Him – and whose love flows out of them. That’s the first thing. The Apostle Paul talked about this sort of substance versus style. He said to the church in Corinth

When I came to you – I didn’t come with a bunch of fancy words and great ideas. I came imperfectly, I came to tell you about Jesus – I wanted you to know His wisdom and His power. That’s what I’m looking for first and foremost – people passionate about Jesus, people who believe that Jesus can and is and will make a real difference in their lives (1 Corinthians 2:1–5)

(2) That they actually open their Bibles. That when they gather together, not only do they worship God with their lips, but they want to hear what God has to say to them today. Gods Word is alive and active and sharper than any two edged sword. I’m looking for a bunch of people who are serious about learning from God and changing and growing to be more like Him.

(3) Finally – I’m looking for a genuine community. People who love others with the love of Christ – not just with words and with platitudes, but with their genuine actions. By inviting others to a meal, by being there when others need them.

That’s the sort of church I want to be part of. I don’t expect them to be perfect at it. But that’s the substance that I’m looking for. Style’s great. It has its place. But it’s the substance – the heartbeat of the church that really matters. And what I believe we should all hear in our churches – if we’re prepared to stop, be still and listen – I believe that what we should hear is the heartbeat of God.

And if that’s missing – the church is dead and we’re only hanging round a graveyard – however alluring the style might be.

The Church, Authority and Me

So many things have changed over the last 50 years. I mean – half a century ago, the church played a key role in society here in Australia where I live. A huge role. And whilst in some countries it still does – that’s not the case here.

In fact, you go back a few centuries, and they were holding inquisitions and executing people in some places. Interesting how the position and the role and the influence of this thing we call church has waxed and waned over the last couple of thousand years.

And not all of it, historically, has been good or positive. The crusades, the inquisitions – the trial and conviction of eminent scientists like Galileo and Copernicus for holding heretical views like the earth isn’t the centre of the universe and the earth isn’t flat – no not all of it’s been good.

That’s why I’m such a great fan of the separation of church and state – seems to me as I look back in history, whenever the church became too involved in the running of countries, it’s rarely been a happy outcome.

And so it’s easy – very easy – to become very suspicious and edgy and concerned about manipulation and control, when you hear someone talk about church … and authority in the one sentence.

But we can’t talk about church – without talking about this notion of authority – what it means to us, here and now.

I remember when I first gave my life to Jesus – I was very suspicious of churches. There are some pretty whacky cults out there and the last thing that I wanted to do was to end up in one of those.

And the thing about cults is that invariably they have leaders who abuse their power – leaders who insist on so many strange things being done in the name of loyalty and submission to authority.

Perhaps like me you’re old enough to remember the Jones Town massacre in South America back in 1978 –when James Jones, the leader of the People’s Temple cult convinced 909 of his followers to commit suicide by taking cyanide.

Now – that’s extreme – but it shows the sort of disastrous consequences that can happen when there’s blind allegiance to religious leaders. That’s one extreme.

And so because many of us hold deep suspicions about the authority of so–called religious leaders – the pendulum in many countries – including my own – has swung in completely the opposite direction.

These days, churches are filled with people who believe in Jesus, but who don’t accept the authority of the leaders in their church. They see themselves as members, consumers of church, people who attend to receive advice perhaps – but not as people under any kind of authority or accountability in this place called “church”.

Two extremes. Both – in my view – disastrous. The one that leads to legalism and at its worst cults. The other which means that instead of being the Body of Christ – people who work together to bring the love of Christ into a lost and hurting world, we’re just a bunch of semi–interested, variably committed volunteers who help when it suits us.

So – it’s a really, really interesting question, this whole question of authority in the church and it’s one of the things that many a person – both people who believe in Jesus and those who don’t – have against the church.

What’s the answer? Where’s the middle ground? Well – there are a couple of really interesting passages we’re going to take a look at today. Here’s the first one – it’s Jesus talking:

“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. (Matthew 18:15–18)

Now the church is the Body of Christ – it belongs to Jesus and what Jesus is talking about here – is authority and accountability. It begins with mutual accountability – church members are accountable to one another for their behaviour – that’s why if someone does something wrong against you, Jesus says the first thing to do is take them aside and deal with it. Don’t sweep it under the carpet – deal with the issue.

Chances are – that this should resolve the issue. But if it doesn’t it’s time to take this matter of accountability a bit wider. Get a few other people – witnesses – involved. And then if that doesn’t work – take it to the church.

And if the leaders try to deal with it but the person who did wrong in the first place still won’t listen – then … , let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. – In other words – boot them out. Why? Because Jesus has given the church the authority to do that.

Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Delegated authority. Straight from Jesus to the leaders of His church. Most of us have never seen that happen – and it would be an extreme step to take. I was in a church once where a couple were removed because they continued to sleep together before they were married. It was done in love, but with a clear understanding that this is what Jesus told us to do. And without going into the details, this act of authority and accountability by the leadership had a really positive outcome.

The second passage I’d like to look at is the sort of leadership and authority church leaders are called to exercise. Peter the Apostle – Have a listen:

Now as an elder myself and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as one who shares in the glory to be revealed, I exhort the elders among you to tend the flock of God that is in your charge, exercising the oversight, not under compulsion but willingly, as God would have you do it—not for sordid gain but eagerly.

Do not lord it over those in your charge, but be examples to the flock. And when the chief shepherd appears, you will win the crown of glory that never fades away. In the same way, you who are younger must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you must clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another, for “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time. (1 Peter 5:1–6)

I love that – leaders are called to lead well – by example, as shepherds guiding the flock, rather than lording it over them. And the rest of us – we’re called to humble ourselves under this good leadership – because God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

So what I discover is that when it comes to leadership, authority and accountability in the Church – God isn’t interested in either of the extremes. He doesn’t want harsh, cult–like leadership any more than he wants us to imagine that church is a free–for–all where anarchy prevails and we each do as we like. That kind of volunteer mentality.

The heart of God is to see godly leadership on the one hand, and a humility amongst each of us on the other where we’re prepared to submit to godly authority. You look at it God’s way – and it sits well doesn’t it? We know it’s right. The truth, the truth inevitably rests well in our hearts – because that’s where it belongs.

What Are You Looking For?

So – next week on the program we’re going to start having a good look at what it means to actually flourish in the house of the Lord. To grow, to develop, to mature.

But before we can do that – we have to ask ourselves a question – and answer it honestly. Answer it with brutal honesty. And that question is this:

What are we looking for in a church? Come on – what are you looking for? What am I looking for?

Are we looking for the perfect church? Now – most people would say “No – there’s no such thing as a perfect church”. But deep down – let me ask again what are we looking for – are we looking for the perfect church? You know – one of the things I’ve noticed these days, is that the wealthier a country becomes, the more it strives for perfection. The perfect cup of coffee in the perfect café. The perfect child with the perfect education. We think that money somehow can buy perfection.

But it can’t. I enjoy going out for coffee with my wife Jacqui – and there are several good cafés within easy walking and driving distance from my place. But the one that has the best food, is crowded and noisy. There’s another café where the tables are more spaced out – and the coffee’s great, but the food and the service leave something to be desired.

And then there’s another one where the people are really friendly, but it’s small and poky and the coffee’s not that great. There’s always something, isn’t there? Something to complain about. Something that offends this idea that we have that if we’re going out for a coffee, the whole experience should be perfect – and by that we mean it should perfectly fit my needs and my wants and my desires.

To be honest – I wonder sometimes whether without even realising it – I wonder if that isn’t the way we approach this thing we call church. Hmm? I was struck by this deep truth in a rather old–fashioned, quaint little poem that I stumbled across recently. Why don’t you have a listen with me:

I think that I shall never see, a church that’s all it’s meant to be
A Church whose members never stray beyond the straight and narrow way
A church that has no empty pews, whose pastor never has the blues
A church whose elders always speak, and none is proud and all are meek
Such perfect churches there may be, but none of them are known to me
But still we’ll work and pray and plan, to maker our church the best we can.

Have you ever stumbled across the absolutely perfect family, or the perfect café, or the perfect bank, or the perfect … no. Because each of those social units are made up of imperfect people like you and me.

So – seems to me – we can kid ourselves by poking fun at church – seeing its faults and problems, using those as excuses for pulling back.

Or – we can accept the reality – that we’re never going to stumble across the perfect church. Not in this life. But in that church – there’s someone who needs me, what I have to offer. And in that church – there’s someone who needs you – what you have to offer.

A word of encouragement, a friendship, a cup of coffee, a smile, a strong shoulder to lean on, some wisdom hard–learnt – whatever it is that God’s endowed us with – there’s someone in that church who needs what He’s given us.

Some people go to church as consumers, as spectators – almost as though they’re attending a concert. But I’m not sure that that’s what Jesus had in mind, when He said:

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:12–13)

My friend – let me ask you again – what are you looking for in church?

When we hear the word “church” – well, so often we load it with a whole lot of baggage – our ideas, perceptions, experiences. “Church” – it’s almost become a four–letter word. But my hunch is – it wasn’t meant to be so.

Church – A Four Letter Word

I’ve often thought – if I were a marketing consultant, and I won a tender to run a marketing campaign to give the term “church” a positive position in the contemporary mindset – the secular psyche if I can use those words – I wonder whether I would actually want the job.

I mean – this word “church” has almost become a four letter word in society today. Scandal after scandal. So many people see large parts of the church as being anachronistic – outdated, irrelevant. The vestiges of old style religion appear to be alive and well.

For me – the greatest indictment of church in my living memory has been the whole issue of child sexual abuse. It seems to spread across so many of the denominations – and so I just don’t want to single any of them out. Only it’s not so much an issue – but a string, countless thousands of cases of the most appalling abuse of position and trust that is imaginable.

People who claim to be God’s emissaries sexually abusing children – and not just children, but adults too. And then, if that isn’t terrible enough – the cover–ups by major denominations.

I was reading a government report into this issue in one major denomination, in one particular country and the report concluded that the senior levels of this church denomination had – and I quote – “obsessively and systematically covered up” the widespread sexual abuse of children by its clergy for decades.

And this has happened over and over and over again. You Google church sexual abuse on the Internet, and aside from the fact that you get over 4 million hits – 4 million – you discover church essays, positions, enquiries, policy papers, white papers on this whole subject.

Now – you may well ask – why is it that Berni’s rabbiting on about this? Why’s he being so critical about this? Well, simply to demonstrate why the “church” has an image problem. The easiest thing in the world is for those of us who live inside this thing called “church” to completely lose sight of how people on the outside, see and think about this thing we call … church.

Has the whole church gone bad? Of course not. But there’s enough mud flying around for it to stick. And then – there are so many other issues. The church seems to be anti–so many things. Anti–abortion. Anti–homosexual. Anti this and anti that. And please right now I’m not making any comment or judgement about the validity of those positions one way or the other. As it turns out I have very strong views on some of these issues. But it’s not the views and the beliefs that I’m talking about right now. It’s the perceptions of society as a whole, that this thing called the “church” can hold itself out to proclaim judgements on such issues when – I mean, look at the whole issue of child abuse. Is it any wonder that people look at the church and think – what a bunch of hypocrites. Then there’s the church not far from me – the denomination – that lost $160 million on some bad stock market investments recently. And the other small local church sitting on well over $20 million worth of real estate, with less than a dozen members showing up every Sunday morning.

These days there are so many Bible believing Christians having been burnt by this thing called church, that they’re leaving it in droves whilst still hanging on to their faith in Jesus – that the academics are writing text books about this group.

Perhaps some of that is treading on some sensitive even painful ground for someone listening today. And the last thing that I’m about is dragging down the church. But if you belong to God’s church – whatever denomination, whatever shape of form that takes – do you see the image problem that the Church has?

Church – these days – is very definitely a four letter word out there in contemporary society! Hmm. The sad thing is that so many good things are happening amongst this group of people we call “church” around the world as well. It’s not all bad – far from it – but we live in a world today – where people both inside and outside the church are struggling so deeply with what church means, what it is, what it’s supposed to be, what it achieves – so many people are struggling so deeply and in many cases painfully with this issues – that I believe we have to talk about it on the program. So that’s what we’re going to be doing over the next couple of weeks.

And as you may have noticed – I’m not going to pussy–foot around. Let’s call a spade a spade, let’s see things for what they are – and there’s a good reason for that.

Because like it or not, whatever you think of this thing called “church” it is part of God’s plan and it is something that lies at the core of God’s plan for this world – for humanity. Have a listen to what Jesus said to Peter the Apostle:

And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. (Matthew 16:18)

Jesus said He would build his church and make her strong. God also refers to the church as His bride:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5:25–27)

And His body:

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. (1 Corinthians 12:12)

And as individualistic as we’ve become in contemporary society here in the 21^st century after the time when Jesus walked this earth – as much as we’re focussed on ourselves, God’s plan, God’s plan is for His children to be a family.

It’s a powerful plan. And it’s a good plan. To be sure – sometimes being a church hurts. Sometimes it disappoints. Sometimes it falls such a long way short of what we expect these people of God to be and how we expect them to love us – but it is God’s plan nevertheless.

Saw a sign outside a local church recently that said “Don’t let Christians put you off Jesus”. As bad a piece of marketing as I think that is – leading with the chin like that – this sign somewhat clumsily and insensitively puts its finger on the problem we’ve been talking about today. That “church” is a four letter word. So the thing we’re going to look at today and over these coming weeks is this – despite so much doom and gloom and obvious failures of this thing called “church” – how do we make sense of God’s plan? How do you and I – if we hunger after God – grow and thrive in the body of Christ – the church – despite all the things in this world that scream at us that we should run a mile? How?

People are a Pain

You know the biggest problem I find with Churches? The one that is absolutely, without any shadow of doubt number 1 on my list of problems with church – is other people.

As sure as God made little green apples, you get a bunch of people together, and some of them are going to be a pain. They’re going to rub us up the wrong way. They’re going to disappoint us, hurt us.

You and I – as Mary Poppins would say – may well be practically perfect in every way. It’s all those other people – they’re the ones who are pains. If it weren’t for them – church would be a fantastic place to be. But they’re the ones that ruin it. They’re the ones who rob it of what God meant it to be. To tell you the truth – I’m just not prepared to put up with them anymore. That’s it. I’ve had enough. I’m taking my bat and ball and going home.

And that my friend – that is exactly the attitude that so many people have towards church in this consumer oriented world.

My expectation of church used to be that it would be something like a zoo. You know when you go to the zoo, you go to the different animal enclosures and you see a series of perfect, well fed, well looked after specimens.

The lion enclosure – prefect specimens. The elephant enclosure. More perfect specimens. The giraffe enclosure – yet more prefect specimens. You see, you experience what you’re expecting – what you paid your money for. Perfect specimens. That’s what we go to the zoo for – to see what we expect to see.

And that’s how I first approached this thing called church. I expected to see and meet a whole bunch of perfect specimens. People who would give me what I came for. The perfect preacher. The perfect pastor. The perfect community. The perfect worship service. The perfect … well, everything really.

Boy was I disappointed. n And as time when by, here’s what I discovered. Church isn’t so much like a zoo full of perfect specimens, it’s more like … like a rehabilitation ward full of broken people, being restored back to health. Now some of them are pretty healthy to be sure, some of them are getting much closer to being perfect specimens than others, but pretty much each person in that church is going to be a broken person – somewhere along that journey of rehabilitation.

Can I be really honest with you – I’ve met some really, really bad people in churches. That shocked me. Of course, I’ve met some utterly fantastic people too. And no matter what churches I’ve visited, or been associated with or been a part of – it’s always the same – it’s invariably a mixed bag.

And this reality doesn’t fit with our expectation – deep down, we expect them all to be perfect – and so our natural reaction is to think – boy, something seriously wrong in this place. But is there? Interesting that Jesus’ disciples had a similar perception of these people who turn out to be a pain.

So Jesus told them a parable – to explain what was going on. And just as it explained the reality way back then – it still explains so graphically and perfectly the reality today. So – have a listen to what He said to them … and what He’s saying to us, 2,000 years on:

He put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well.

And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?’

He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The slaves said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ But he replied, ‘No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.’”

So, here Jesus is dealing with this idea that we have that a church should be perfect and if it ain’t perfect then it’s not the church for me. What’s Jesus saying – quite simply this – that in God’s Kingdom – and remember, the tangible reality of that Kingdom on this earth is God’s Church – in God’s Church – there is always going to be a mixed bag. God plants good seed in His church He calls good people into His family. But the enemy comes along and plants some weeds too. Remember amongst the 12 disciples whom Jesus chose, the enemy the devil got a hold of one of those – Judas Iscariot – with devastating effect.

The enemy’s going to get hold of some people’s hearts right in the midst of the body of Christ – and instead of delivering a good harvest they’re only going to produce more weeds. Jesus is saying “that’s normal”. And when the servants say to the master – so – do you want us to go do some weeding – He says, no, no, leave them. I’ll get to them at harvest time.

The sovereign choice of God is to leave the weeds in place – did you pick that? He chooses not to make His kingdom a zoo – full of perfect specimens, but a mixed bag. That’s the reality. That’s His choice. And my hunch is that He puts those people there – not so that we can be victims, but so that we can learn to love and to overcome and to suffer and to give and to serve – even our enemies. Even those who play politics and those who are selfish or nasty or painful – or however they rub us the wrong way. My friend – church is never going to be perfect. There are always going to be some weeds scattered through the crop – but what Jesus is saying is this – leave them to me. I’ll deal with them in due course. I’ll sort the weeds from the wheat on that day of harvest, the day of judgement.

Meantime, get on with it. Let the good wheat grow and yield its grain. As I said – thoroughly realistic. And when we take this parable of Jesus’ into our hearts – it puts those difficult people in church – well, it shines a whole new light on things. All of a sudden, the Lord is giving us a license – just to get on with it.

Programs, Programs, Programs

For almost two decades of my life, I worked as a consultant in the information technology industry. I worked around the world and so I’ve been into hundreds of different organisations – private sector, public sector – in many different places and cultures. And over the years, I’ve seen how systems and key performance indicators and the drive towards more and more profits impact people’s lives.

What I saw all too often were workers lined up in small cubicles, driving to targets, to increase company profits. Nothing wrong with companies making profits of course. There’s nothing wrong with them having performance targets and incentive schemes and all of that.

But after years and years and years of seeing this – I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s a line somewhere that companies and organisations can step over. There’s a tipping point – to use that familiar term – where the systems and the performance indicators and the profit motive take people from being free range to battery – does that make sense?

Some workplaces I’ve walked into , the people have been working incredibly hard – and yet they’re energised and happy and there’s some laughter in the place. But mostly that hasn’t been the case. Insurance companies, banks, call centres – so many of these places, when all that drives management is the profit motive – then ultimately that line is crossed and the people become like battery hens.

We weren’t made principally to be cogs in a production machine. You and I – we’re unique and creative and we love encouragement and we love being part of something we believe in and that we value and when we’re valued. But systems, cubicles, targets – they can squeeze the life out of us. Sometimes when I travel into the city on the bus or the train – something I used to do a lot of in my consulting days – I look at the faces of the people – and you don’t see much joy, or sense of anticipation. There’s a greyness, a lifelessness that happens when beautiful, amazing, creative, emotional, intelligent, funny, wonderful people are squeezed into a production mould.

It’s the issue of balance that’s missing. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to. And here’s the thing – this is something that I’ve seen in churches too.

Over the course of this week and the next few weeks on the program – we’re taking a really frank look at this thing we call “church”. And one of the things that appears to have emerged in the contemporary church is the program. What do I mean by that – well, we grow and so we organise ourselves and our activities and the members of the church. And the way we organise things is that we institute programs.

We have the weekly home group program. The lady’s meeting on Wednesday morning. The young mother’s meeting. We implement a number of evangelism programs. We set budgets, we look at outcomes we assess the return on the investment. We run events – the Easter event, Carols by Candlelight at Christmas. We have food appeals, we go door knocking around the neighbourhood.

Now – let me say something at this point – there is nothing intrinsically wrong or bad or sinful about any of these things. They’re all good in and of themselves. OK – so I’m not knocking any of them per se. But just as in everything else – there’s a line we can cross over – the line where we turn church into purely an accumulation of events, activities, meetings, committees and programs. That point – and I’ve been to churches where I’ve seen this happen – where the only way that you can be a part of the church – is to participate in the programs.

I’ve heard this come from the pulpit – if you want to develop friendships and relationships – you have to sign up to join a homegroup. Now – program–driven may have worked at some place and at some time – but remember so many of the people who come to our churches – are these same people who spend their lives working as virtual battery hens.

And if there’s one thing – just one thing – that so many people are looking for in a faith community – it’s just that – a genuine sense of community. And community – community isn’t an accumulation of programs and events – it’s not a by–product so much of signing up for this program or that. Because we can have as many programs as we like at church – and have zero community. Community is a mindset. It’s a heart attitude. I’ve been to a church where it took them 9 months – 9 months – to invite us to anything – and then, it was a programmatic “new comer’s luncheon.” That’s not community. Community is when you walk in and someone greats you and smiles and shares and gets to know you and has you over for coffee or lunch and is there for you.

Jesus didn’t say – that by this people know will know that you are my disciples if you have effective church programs. He said – by this people will know that you are my disciples if you have love one for another. There’s something organic and spontaneous about that sort of love. The two words used for Church in the NT are ecclesia and koinonia. The first means – a meeting, that’s what churches do as they meet once a week. And the second – koinonia – means a fellowship, a joining together. It’s a relational word. It’s the word of organic love and organic community.

And that – that is the one thing more than any other – that disconnected people, people who work as battery hens by day, are looking for. Welcome. Fellowship. Spontaneity. A sharing of lives. The Apostle Paul put it this way when he was talking about each one of us being part of the body of Christ –

If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together with it. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. (1 Corinthians 12:26)

If there’s one thing people are hungering for more than anything else – it’s this genuine experience of Christ’s love through community.

Have you ever lost your way in life? Not in some major way. You’re just chugging along through life and then somehow you get the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you’re not where you’re meant to be. Things just don’t make sense the way they used to.

1. The Fog of War

If you’ve ever had that nagging suspicion that things aren’t quite right in your life, then you're not alone. It’s something that we all experience from time to time. We don’t think about it, but in a very real sense, for most of us, life follows a pretty familiar, well–worn trail.

We’re born, we go to school, we become adults, we marry, we have children, they go to school, they grow up … and eventually we die. I know that’s an over–simplification. And I know that a good many people don’t follow every step of that path … and I know there are many twists and turns and variations on that theme, but for most of us, that pretty much describes it.

And along the way we go through times of great joy, times of great sadness and long periods of the mundane same old, same old. Our emotions go up and down. Our fortunes go up and down. But we’re born, we bring children into the world, we die. That’s the basic template on which the human race relies.

So you’re following along that path and at some stage, perhaps, you encounter Jesus and you decide to walk the rest of the journey with Him – where He leads, according to His plans and purposes for your life.

Some people find that notion pretty depressing. I used to, to tell you the truth. But these days it is singularly the most liberating thing about my life. To be able to live out the plans and purposes for my life, that God Himself dreamed up before time began – I have to tell you, it’s just unreal.

But I, like the next person, sometimes get into those patches in life when I wonder – Am I in the right place? Am I doing what I was made to do? And is all the stuff going on around me making sense.

I wonder … where are you at right now? In an up … in a down … in one of those long periods of the boring mundaneness of life? Same day after day. Are you in a place of contentment, knowing you’re on the right path … or are you kind of wondering where it’s all headed?

In the army – I spent 10 years as a military officer – when we were training for war, they taught us about the concept, the idea of what’s called “the fog of war”. It’s this idea that when you’re fighting the battle, you’re enveloped in a kind of fog. Part of that fog is that you don’t have all the information you need about your enemy – how strong he is, how many troops and tanks he has, how well trained, what his morale is like, what his plans are, what his tactics are.

Part of it is that your enemy deliberately tries to feed you misinformation to deceive you. Part of it is that you’re tired, exhausted often, afraid, your morale is down. Your troops – their morale is up and down. And then when the bullets start flying and the artillery shells start exploding around you – it’s like you’re in a fog, a stupor and making really good, well informed, rational decisions is extremely difficult.

That’s what this idea – the fog of war – is all about.

In a very real sense, we sometimes operate in a bit of a fog too. Our emotions are playing havoc. People are having a go and we don’t understand their motives and intentions. We don’t know if we can trust them.

And God – what about Him? What exactly are His plans? Am I in the right place? Am I doing the things I was meant to be doing? Have I perhaps taken a wrong turn?

And it’s in this fog that we can start questioning His faithfulness. It’s in this fog that we start second guessing God and ourselves. We’d like to think we have it all together. We’d like to think we know where life’s headed, but all too often, we either haven’t got a clue, or we though we did, but … we’re really not that sure any more.

I was having coffee with a man who works for a large corporation – who thought he knew what his life was about, but his health was failing him and deep down he had a sneaking suspicion that God had a different plan – he just didn’t know what that plan was.

Do you relate to some of that? There seems to be a gap between your present circumstances and what you think the future might be about.

We’re in the middle of a series called “Following Jesus with Confidence” – and the reason we’re talking about this stuff today, is that when we’re enveloped in this fog – it’s hard to be confident. The thing about this fog is that it limits your field of vision – so it’s easy, really easy – to take a wrong step.

But I believe that God wants us to have confidence in Him, even when we’re in the middle of this fog of war as I’ve called it. In fact, especially then. When you think about it, it’s when things are unclear that we really need God, because His field of vision is never, ever limited by anything.

The first thing we need to know when we’re wandering through life in a bit of a fog, is that God is faithful. He’s not angry, He’s not disappointed with us – He’s like a loving father, keen to see His child learn, and keen to help His child through the fog. His love, in that fog, His faithfulness in that fog, is rock solid. King David had more enemies than most of us. He went through many trials in his life, and so many of the Psalms he wrote, he’s pouring his heart out to God in the midst of the fog of war. Psalm 86:1–7

Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Preserve my life, for I am devoted to you; save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all day long. Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call on you. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my cry of supplication. In the day of my trouble I call on you, for you will answer me

And towards the end of that Psalm, based on his past experiences, David concludes this – Psalm 86:14–17:

O God, the insolent rise up against me; a band of ruffians seeks my life, and they do not set you before them. But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Turn to me and be gracious to me; give your strength to your servant; show me a sign of your favour, so that those who hate me may see it and be put to shame, because you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

I know there are people today going through one of those times in your life when it’s hard to follow Jesus with any confidence. And I know there are people today for whom such a time is just around the corner.

Your God is merciful and gracious, He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. That’s just who He is – so if you know that you’ve turned your back on Him, turn back now, tell Him you’re sorry, ask Him to forgive you in Jesus’ name – and it’s a done deal. You’re forgiven. You stand before Him as clean and as pure as Jesus Himself.

Because that’s why Jesus died for you. That’s why Jesus did what He did – to give you a fresh start with the slate wiped clean. And now as you draw close to Him, you can take each step with Him being completely sure that when you need to turn to the left or to the right, He’ll let you know. When you need to stop and wait a while or move a bit more quickly – He’ll let you know. That’s the deal. That’s His promise.

I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father (John 15:15)

My friend wherever you find yourself along your journey right now, the answer … the answer is Jesus.

2. A Slave Mentality

The greatest tragedy I see in people’s lives is that they’ve become slaves to their circumstances, their passions, the ways of this world – slaves to a whole bunch of things that promised so much, and yet have left their lives empty and hollow – bereft of meaning and purpose.

You and I go through many trials in life. Things tear at our flesh and our emotions. But when you stop and think about it, we were made to be at peace. We were made to experience perfect peace and satisfaction and contentment.

How do I know that? Because when I look back to see how God created us from the beginning, that’s exactly what I see. Adam and Eve were in that beautiful garden, living the perfect life – until they turned their backs on God. Genesis Chapter 2 gives us the most beautiful picture of the perfect life that God has planned for us.

But of course humanity – you and me included – turned our backs on God, and so sickness and trial and temptation and the consequences of rebelling against God all entered this world.

That’s why we have to suffer, as Shakespeare called it, the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes. That’s why things happen to us that we would never choose for ourselves. That’s why we end up doing things to other people, that really, we wish we hadn’t. And that’s why we’re so powerless to save ourselves from continuing in a life that falls so far short of that beautiful, perfect ideal that God has planned for us.

So people – you and me included – carry all this baggage around through life, baggage that gets heavier and heavier as the years pass, and whether we realise it or not, we become slaves to that sin. We may not call it that, but all that weight on our shoulders becomes the norm. It drains the life out of us.

And so we live as though it is the norm. We live as though slavery to sin and all its consequences is a normal state – well I’m here to tell you today to wake up – because it’s not normal. It’s anything but normal. It may be common, but it’s not normal. Yet all too many are slaves without even realising it. Have a listen to this discussion that Jesus had with some Jews – God’s chosen people as they were – John 8:31–36:

Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” They answered him, “We are descendants of Abraham and have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean by saying, ‘You will be made free’?""

Jesus answered them, “Very truly, I tell you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not have a permanent place in the household; the son has a place there forever. So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.

Do you see – they didn’t realise they were salves. They saw themselves as God’s chosen people – not as slaves. Slaves were those people they had at home – gentiles for the most part – who served them. They were free.

But Jesus – as He has a habit of doing – goes straight to the heart of the reality. Whoever commits sin, is a slave to sin.

And here’s the thing – if we’re living in some sin that we’re holding out on in our relationship with God – that slavery has terrible consequences. You can never have a deep, wonderful, intimate relationship with God. You can’t live your life in confidence in Jesus – because every moment of every day the guilt that your conscience is so sensitive to, robs you of that ability.

Think about it – a man is cheating on his wife. Can he truly have a deep, wonderful, intimate, perfect relationship with his wife – while he’s cheating on her behind her back? He can pretend. He can deceive his wife – although eventually, she’ll realise – but deep in his heart, he cannot know the bliss of an intimate exclusive relationship with his wife, because his conscience condemns him. God gave us a conscience for good reason. He gave us a sense of touch so that when we touch something hot, it’ll hurt and we’ll pull away before we really injure ourselves badly. Your conscience and mine serve exactly the same purpose.

When we stubbornly refuse to yield one particular area of our lives to Him – our conscience robs us of the peace and the joy we’re meant to be living in. And the purpose of that is to get us to turn away from that thing before it seriously hurts us.

I have met people who’ve been seeking the sort of relationship with Jesus that we’ve been talking about in this series. The sort where no matter what comes their way, gives them that quiet confidence in Him, confidence in Jesus.

And yet they continue on as slaves to sin – living with a slave mentality that will always, in 100% of cases, rob them of the very thing they are looking for. Let me ask you kindly but plainly today – are you one of those people?

Because if you are, if you’re yearning for that confidence and peace and joy in Christ Jesus, but your sin has been robbing you of it, then I have the answer for you today. It comes directly from God’s Word – Romans 6:1–14 and this Word from Him is the power to set you free; to utterly transform your life.

What then are we to say? Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin go on living in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? Therefore we have been buried with him by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin. For whoever has died is freed from sin. But if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. The death he died, he died to sin, once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Therefore, do not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions. No longer present your members to sin as instruments of wickedness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and present your members to God as instruments of righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

My friend, Jesus came to set you free. If you’ve put your trust in Him, then two things have happened. Firstly you have died to your sin – it no longer has power over you because Jesus quashed it on that Cross. That’s a historical, judicial fact.

And secondly, because He rose again from the dead, He has brought you the power to be free from sin. Do you believe in Jesus? Then you have the power to overcome your sin – a power that none of us has in and of ourselves – it’s a gift from God this power. It’s His power. It’s the only power that there is, that will set you free.

You are free. And so now … now you can choose not to let sin have dominion over your body. It’ll be a battle by battle struggle, but it’s a war that you’ve already won.

And my friend as you yield yourself completely to Jesus you will – I guarantee this –you will be filled with peace, with joy and with confidence in Him. How do I know? Because that’s just how it works. If you don’t believe me, give it a spin. Really.

Don’t know about you, but if there’s one thing I hate, it’s when someone upsets my apple cart. I have a plan to do this, to achieve this … and someone comes along and forces a change in my plans. Ooooh how I hate that.

1. A Change of Plan - The Holy Spirit

So, what do you have planned for today, tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month? We all have hopes, dreams and plans. How we see the future – what we have to look forward to – plays a pretty important part in how much we enjoy our lives today.

This morning, I got up and looked at my diary – for a change, things were pretty clear, normally I have a lot of things in my diary. The reason is that I plan ahead. So – preparing radio programs – I normally have several pretty solid blocks of time during each week to do that.

Time in the studio. Meetings. Admin stuff at the office. Perhaps the odd catch up with a friend. Men’s group Friday mornings. But this morning, it was pretty clear, so after a time with the Lord, I sat down to start putting some thoughts together for another radio program.

But yesterday … yesterday – I had a list of 27 items to get through – got through about half of them, which isn’t bad. But in the middle of some really important stuff, off goes Skype on my desktop, it was one of our team from Africa calling me.

Now, I hadn’t spoken with Joseph for a couple of weeks, and I really wanted to talk to him – but part of me was … well, not annoyed but agitated, because I had all these things planned for today, and yet now I was being interrupted.

Of course I chatted with him and it was great – but it’s that reaction of having my plans interrupted that’s the really interesting bit. I’m sure you’ve experienced it too – really good plans, and then someone comes along and interrupts them.

It happens in the small day to day things, and it happens too, in the bigger things of life. The plan to get married, to have children, to find somewhere to live, perhaps to buy a house. The plans we have in our minds for our finances and for our careers, for our children, for our families.

Time and time and time again, those plans get turned on their head, as other things, other people demand that they be changed. How do you react when that happens, hmm?

We’ve been chatting over the past week/the past few weeks about the idea of following Jesus with confidence. There are plenty of things that come along and shake our confidence in Him day to day, and one of those things is when our plans – good and godly though they may have been – are turned on their heads.

We kind of react with this shock: Hang on, what’s going on?! I had things all planned out and now… this!! Really?! That can’t be right. Maybe I was heading in the wrong direction in the first place. And that sense of maybe I had it wrong shakes our confidence a bit. Would it surprise you to know that you’re not the only one who’s been in that place.?

Have a listen to this … out of the book of Acts in the New Testament, Chapter 16, verse 6 – it’s about the Apostle Paul’s ministry journey.

They went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. When they had come opposite Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them; so, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision: there stood a man of Macedonia pleading with him and saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” When he had seen the vision, we immediately tried to cross over to Macedonia, being convinced that God had called us to proclaim the good news to them.

Now did you notice in there that twice – not once, but twice – we’re told that God Himself stopped Paul and his team from following their plans. I’m sure they’d sat down and thought about it and prayed about it and been convinced to go and proclaim the good news of Jesus in Asia.

And yet, they couldn’t; having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. We don’t find out how that happened – perhaps Paul had a really sharp dream in the night. Perhaps one of their team with the spiritual gift of prophecy stood up and said so. Perhaps they’d been praying together and all of a sudden a few of them just got that really sharp check in the spirit, telling them not to go there.

Whatever it was – the Holy Spirit forbade them to go there, contrary to their initial plans.

And a second time. They tried to go to Bithynia … but the Spirit o Jesus did not allow them. Was there some physical obstacle? Was it a sense of spiritual discernment? We’re not told. But again, the Holy Spirit blocked their way.

I was reading a great blog post “Finding my Keys” by a guy called Luke Collings, where he writes this:

The role of the Holy Spirit in the life of the Christian is often portrayed as overwhelmingly "positive". That is, the Spirit enables the Christian to live in a manner of which they were incapable while they were still under sin. They can be obedient by the Spirit (Rom 8:4). They can understand the things of God (1 Cor2:12). They can overcome the desires of the body (Gal 5:16). I could go on and on.

The contemporary word to describe the Spirit's effect on the Christian's life is "empowerment".

Well put Luke – in our contemporary social context of individualism and self, it’s easy to get only half the view of the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Almost as though the Spirit is there to serve us, rather than the other way around.

Of course God is our helper – but He’s also our King. Of course Jesus is our Saviour, but He’s also our Lord. And it’s that second part of the equation that we miss at our peril. Luke Collings goes on to say:

What we see instead is that the Holy Spirit is more than just Ministry Rocket Fuel. The Spirit is the one who opens and closes doors for the Gospel to spread. The Spirit doesn't just Empower, but Directs and Enables mission. Those engaged in the preaching of Jesus learn from Acts 16 that they are not the Captain and Navigator of their own course. Those jobs are firmly in God's hands.

So … the next time God slams the door shut in your face, this wouldn’t be a bad thing to remember. At the end of the day it’s not my plans or yours that are the important things. It’s God’s plans – because He sees the whole picture.

Notice with Paul, both times He slammed the door shut, God led them in a different direction. The direction that He would have them go; to speak the Gospel to the people He would have them speak to. As well as the “no’s” – there was a strong, positive “yes”.

During the night Paul had a vision: there stood a man of Macedonia pleading with him and saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” When he had seen the vision, we immediately tried to cross over to Macedonia, being convinced that God had called us to proclaim the good news to them.

God leads us in all sorts of different ways – sometimes by closing this door, and then a little while later flinging open some other door that you or I would never have dreamed of even knocking on. That change of plans … sure, our natural reaction is to wonder why. Our natural reaction is to have our confidence shaken.

But the whole point of what we’re talking about today on the program, is learning to follow Jesus with confidence. The next time a door slams unexpectedly shut in your face, may the Holy Spirit dust this little chat of ours off and bring it into your recollection. A change of plans doesn’t mean that something’s gone wrong. God is still on His throne. And He really does know what He’s doing.

2. A Change of Plan – Satan

Now before the break we chatted about the fact that sometimes God changes our plans on us. We’re chugging along, we have plans for today and the rest of the week and in fact … for the rest of our lives if the truth be known and sometimes God comes along and completely changes things.

Now, you’d think wouldn’t you that if it’s God – hey. We’d be all for it. Go for it God. Hmmm. Sure. Sometimes we come to that conclusion eventually, and yet other times, it’s like God has to drag us kicking and screaming in the direction that He has planned for us.

Have a listen to this from the missionary journey of the Apostle Paul in case you missed it last time. It’s out of the book of Acts in the New Testament, Chapter 16, verse:

They went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. When they had come opposite Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them; so, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision: there stood a man of Macedonia pleading with him and saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” When he had seen the vision, we immediately tried to cross over to Macedonia, being convinced that God had called us to proclaim the good news to them.

So there you have it – twice Paul was prevented from going where he’d planned – once to Asia, the second time to Bithynia and yet God had a positive, alternate plan for him.

That initial shock and horror that we experience when someone changes our plans – in this case, when God changes our plans, which clearly He does sometimes – shouldn’t rock our confidence. Think about it – sometimes, a two–year–old might have a really good plan to cross that busy freeway, but dad, fortunately has an alternate plan. It’s the same with God.

But what about when it’s not God who changes our plans, but Satan himself? Then what?! Well, for most of us, that really rocks us to the core. There have been times when I have had some good and godly plans – I mean really good stuff to bless other people – and something terrible happens.

An argument breaks out in the ministry team. Someone undermines you. Perhaps someone makes false accusations against you. And this good and godly plan that you had just goes up in a puff of smoke.

If you’ve ever had that happen to you, you’ll know that it’s just really the most painful thing. It knocks the stuffing out of us, because … well, doesn’t the Bible tell us to put our confidence in God? Doesn’t it speak of God’s power and compassion and victory over the devil?

How is it that evil can win the day, when the Bible says:

“When you go out to war against your enemies, and see horses and chariots and an army larger than your own, you shall not be afraid of them, for the Lord your God is with you, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. And when you draw near to the battle, the priest shall come forward and speak to the people and shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, today you are drawing near for battle against your enemies: let not your heart faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of them, for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.’ (Deuteronomy 20:1–4)

And that’s not an isolated quote. The Bible talks over and over again about God giving us victory over our enemies and over Satan.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)

So what happens when the devil doesn’t flee? What happens when he seems to have the upper hand? What happens when the wicked people around us seem to win, against the good and godly plans and intentions that we had? Then what?

Well, if that’s ever happened to you, then you’re not alone. Have a listen to this, again from the experience of the Apostle Paul in ministry:

As for us, brothers and sisters, when, for a short time, we were made orphans by being separated from you—in person, not in heart—we longed with great eagerness to see you face to face. For we wanted to come to you—certainly I, Paul, wanted to again and again—but Satan blocked our way. For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? Yes, you are our glory and joy (1 Thessalonians 2:17–20)

Who prevented Paul from going to see his friends in Thessalonica? Satan did. He blocked Paul’s way. And does Paul seem to be at all phased by that? Not at all! He goes right on and talks about the glory of God! It’s almost as though he sees it as a normal part of doing business, in the Kingdom of God.

And what about Jesus? When we was nailed there on the cross, didn’t it look as though the enemy had won? Didn't Jesus look like the vanquished and Satan like the victor? And yet the Bible says this of that brutal love transaction on the cross:

And when you were dead in trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive together with him, when he forgave us all our trespasses, erasing the record that stood against us with its legal demands. He set this aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public example of them, triumphing over them in it. (Colossians 2:13–15)

In other words, what appeared to be a great loss, was in fact a victory so great, that Jesus disarmed the rules and authorities – Satan and his armies – made a public spectacle of them and triumphed over them.

Do you recall the thorn that Paul had in his flesh – the one that he asked God to remove three times but God wouldn’t? Do you remember what he called that thorn?

Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7–10)

Over and over again in Scripture we see situations and circumstances where the devil seems to get the upper hand – he thinks he has the upper hand and yet God is always in control. God’s grace is always sufficient for the situation. And if it was true back then, it is true now.

Just because Satan appears to have the upper hand in a particular situation or skirmish, doesn’t mean that God has lost the plot. It doesn’t mean that Satan is winning. It doesn’t mean that God’s grace isn’t sufficient for you in that place. Look at Paul’s reaction to the fact that he is going to have to live with this messenger of Satan in his flesh:

So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Hallelujah. Satan is purely a tool in God’s hands – nothing more and nothing less. He is as subject to the Sovereign power of God as you or I or any other creature in creation. And as the wise old King Solomon writes, in Proverbs 24:19–20:

Do not fret because of evildoers. Do not envy the wicked; for the evil have no future; the lamp of the wicked will go out.

Your God is in control. Your king reigns. Your future is bright. And nothing, no deception that Satan can conjure up – will ever change that. Nothing. That’s why it’s called the Good News.

3. The Most Important Thing

The plans that you and I have for ourselves, for our lives, for our families and our jobs and our careers, appear to us to be good plans.

Do you ever hope for something bad to happen? Do you ever hope that you’ll be in a place of loss or confusion or pain or distress? Do you plan to lose your job? Do you plan for someone you love to die, or someone you trust to betray you?

Well, the answer is pretty much blindingly, glimpsingly obvious. Of course you don’t. Nor do I.

We plan for a promotion at work, an improvement in our circumstances, a happy family dinner tonight, that holiday we’re going on next month. We plan for good things. For happy things. And if we had our way, our lives would be like one, long, sugar–coated candy, right? That’s pretty much it.

But before we get all carried away here, planning that we’ll spend the rest of our lives floating around on cloud 9, let’s just get a grip on reality here. First up – life’s not like that. You know it and I know it.

And secondly – God’s just not like that either. God’s plan for you isn’t like that either. God’s plan includes some dark threads in there with the gold and silver ones as He weaves the tapestry of your life, your character and your service for Him. Those are the facts of the matter. Just have a listen to how the Apostle Paul puts it (Romans 8:18–30):

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labour pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Sufferings, pain, weakness – are those in your plan for your life? No, me neither. But they’re going to happen, right? And what’s the most important thing that Paul is telling us to remember here? That we know that al things work together for good for those who love God and who are called according to His purpose. Because His ultimate plan in all of this is to bring us into glory with Him.

Jesus learned obedience through what He had to suffer – and He had to suffer rather a lot more than you and me. If you and I had a choice, would we plan a life for ourselves like His? Not on your nelly, and yet without His life and death – there would be no life for you and me.

The most important thing for you and for me to remember when our confidence is being shaken – is that God has it all under control. And each and everything that we experience, the good, the bad and the ugly, He will cause us to work together for good in our lives. That’s a good thing to remember.

When we’re travelling through times of great trial, the first thing that springs to mind is that we must have done something wrong. Maybe … but as I read my Bible, what I discover is that pretty much all the great things that God has done, have been birthed out of times of trial.

1. Hannah’s Pain

Hannah’s story from the old testament is one that absolutely touches my heart each and every time that I read with it. It’s a powerful story of a woman in some considerable distress.

We’ve been programmed these days, that life – our lives in particular – should be filled with success. But the last time I checked, that’s not always the case. And the times when we really need to be able to trust in Jesus with great confidence, aren’t the easy times, they're the tough times.

The Bible knows little if anything about worldly success. God’s plan for you and me isn’t a life of comfort and compromise, but one of sacrifice and suffering. That’s exactly what Jesus promised us, when He spoke to some would–be followers:

Now when Jesus saw great crowds around him, he gave orders to go over to the other side. A scribe then approached and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Another of his disciples said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead. (Matthew 8:18–22)

Now, we’re going to go a lot deeper with this – it’s one thing to hear someone – even Jesus – talking about this idea that following Him often means an uncomfortable journey, but it’s another thing entirely to see this principle in action. That’s why today, we’re going to spend some time with Hannah – so that you and I can discover the secret of having a strong confidence in Jesus, when the going gets tough – because it’s in those times, that we really, really need that confidence.

Hannah’s is a story of adversity and out of that adversity, God births, quite literally, one of the great Prophets that He sends to His people. So let’s just spend the next few minutes entering into Hannah’s pain – 1 Samuel 1:1–8:

There was a certain man whose name was Elkanah. He had two wives; the name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.

Now this man used to go up year by year from his town to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters; but to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. Her rival used to provoke her severely, to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it went on year by year; as often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? Why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”

No doubt there are some women tuned in today who either have been there or who are in that place right at the moment – but even as a man, I can just so feel the pain that Hannah was going through. Body clock is ticking, her heart is to have a child, and … nothing. But as bad and as tough as that is … it was even worse. Because layered on top of the personal pain, were two other things. The first and the most obvious is Peninnah – Elkanah’s other wife. Polygamy was all the rage in the early days of the Old Testament. It wasn’t until society had time to grow and mature that God revealed that this wasn’t His ideal plan.

I mean it should have been obvious – Adam had one wife Eve, not two or more. But we humans have a way of wandering away from God’s ideal for us. And God has a way of choosing just the right time in history, to reveal His plans. So at this point, polygamy was the norm. That’s why Elkanah had two wives. That would be bad enough except one of them could have children and the other couldn’t and the one that could – Peninnah taunted the one that couldn’t Hannah.

Her rival used to provoke her severely, to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it went on year by year; as often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her.

A terrible situation. A woman who can’t have children and a rival for her husband’s affections who can and then uses that to rub salt into her wounds, year after year. And the final layer of shame, as if all that weren’t enough, was that back in those days the thinking went something like this: If you were a good and godly person, God would bless you with many children. If you weren’t He wouldn’t. So Hannah’s plight was further compounded by the fact that socially, people looked down upon her. They would have whispered behind her back She can’t be a very good person, look God has cursed her and she is childless. Please … put yourself into Hannah’s shoes for a moment. How do you feel? Terrible right? You’d be asking some serious questions of God – Lord, why are you doing this. I’m doing my best to honour you and my husband. My rival is taunting me. People despise me. Lord what have I done to deserve this?!

I don’t know that particular pains and trials you’ve gone through in your life, but this one of Hannah’s would rank right up there wouldn’t it? I mean you can equate your trials and your pain, with what Hannah is going through. This feeling that God has forsaken you. That God’s treatment of you isn’t fair.

But I’d like to suggest that when you and I are having Hannah moments in our lives, often a mighty intervention of God is the last thing that we expect. In fact, we don’t even expect to be in this rotten situation in the first place, because well, surely God wants to bless me and surely if I’m living through a terrible curse like this, something … something terrible must be wrong in my relationship with God.

It’s that false logic that I would like to kick in the guts today. This idea of – yes I am in God’s favour because I’m being blessed; and no – I must have fallen out of God’s favour and our of God’s plan, because I’m going through this terrible patch. That’s a lie, a distortion from the enemy, who’s dropped this healthy, wealthy and wise lie on our heads. Pretty much all the great things that God has done, birthed out of times of trial. And we’ll talk some more about that after this short break.

2. Hannah’s Prayer

As I look back on that moment when I first laid hold of the truth that Jesus died for me – that, actually … the Son of God became a man, walked the dusty roads of 1^st century Israel and was ultimately nailed to a cross, to pay for my wrongdoing – my heart leapt out of my chest and I decided to claim Him as My Saviour and My Lord.

If you’re a bit like that, you know that desire in your heart to follow Jesus. The problem is when you’re having a Hannah moment, when the going gets tough, following Him with confidence just isn’t easy.

The reason that we’re in the middle of this series of messages – Following Jesus with Confidence – is that we need to know how to follow Jesus with confidence during the difficult times. For me, it’s not enough to be told – have faith in God. That’s a great theory, but how do I live it out when I’m in a difficult position? When everything and everybody seems to be going against me? Those are the questions that I need answers to.

That’s why we’re sharing in Hannah’s story, because through that story, God speaks to us about the how – how to have confidence in Jesus during the tough times. Because let’s face it, it’s in the tough times that we need that confidence. That quiet sense of – I know my Saviour lives, I know my Saviour reigns, I know my Saviour has it all under control.

And this next part of Hannah’s story is all about the how. We’ve heard about her desperate struggle, and now let’s take a look at how she chooses to deal with it. 1 Samuel 1:9–18

After they had eaten and drunk at Shiloh, Hannah rose and presented herself before the Lord. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord, and wept bitterly. She made this vow: “O Lord of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a nazirite until the day of his death. He shall drink neither wine nor intoxicants, and no razor shall touch his head.”

As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying silently; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard; therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Put away your wine.” But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman deeply troubled; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time.” Then Eli answered, “Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made to him.” And she said, “Let your servant find favour in your sight.” Then the woman went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and her countenance was sad no longer.

I’ve never been one to shake my fists at God – some people do. It’s not something I’ve done up to this point in my life, and I pray it’s a place I’ll never get to. But you could have understood it if Hannah had gone to God and shaken her fists at Him. She was deeply distressed and wept bitterly – not only was she childless, but she was scorned. We don’t know anything much about Hannah’s life to this point, but as I read about her further in the OT book of 1 Samuel you discover that she is a good and godly woman. She seemed to be honouring God in every way, and yet this affliction had struck her life – and there was not a single thing that she could do about it.

Well, perhaps not a single thing – there was one thing and she was doing it right now. She was pouring it all out to God. She was praying. Prayer seems like a copout to some – and yet the Bible teaches us over and over again that prayer which yields powerful results is entirely normal in God’s site. And so Hannah engages in that sort of prayer – heartfelt prayer, powerful prayer. I’m sure it didn’t feel powerful to her at the time, as she was weeping there before God. Pouring her heart out. But it was. Because she came in prayer not just to meet her need, she came with a humble heart, offering this child up, should God grant him to her, to God Himself. Giving up her son – should she ever be blessed with one – into lifelong service of the Lord.

Come on you women who have had children – how difficult would it be for you to offer up your precious child to serve the Lord? How easy would you find it to be separated from this little one? But here she is – honouring God above all. That’s why her prayer is so incredibly powerful. She doesn’t tell Eli the priest what it was all about, she just tucks her time with God away in her heart … and immediately, immediately she reaps the benefit of her prayer – she receives peace from God.

Then the woman went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and her countenance was sad no longer.

That’s what’s supposed to happen, because Jesus promised us exactly that when we bring our burdens to Him. Matthew 11:28–30

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light

My friend with all my heart let me say to you that the biggest single thing that you can do, to receive the quiet, gentle, powerful gift of true confidence in Christ is to pray. To spend time genuinely in God’s presence. Pray … and read God’s Word. Back to the Psalmist’s words – Psalm 119:105–107

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to observe your righteous ordinances. I am severely afflicted; give me life, O Lord, according to your word.

My friend if you’re looking for the “how” – how to follow Jesus with Confidence – you’ve just discovered the answer. Through Hannah, through the Psalmist, through God’s Word. The answer is heartfelt prayer. The answer is reading and meditating on God’s Word. Can it really be that simple? Actually. Yeah. It can. It is.

3. Hannah’s Peace

When things are on the up and up, we’re really happy to let everybody know about them – obviously we’re pretty clever and obviously God is blessing us – and so we don’t mind telling people about it, right? But when we’re on the back foot, when we’re going through that rough patch, we mostly try to keep it to ourselves – it’s almost like we’re ashamed about it.

But that’s not what the Bible teaches. Have a listen – Romans 5:3–5

And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us

Quite a different concept – boasting in our suffering – but it’s all about letting God have His way with us. So let’s take a look at the next part of Hannah’s story, in our quest to discover how to develop that quiet confidence in God, in Jesus – during our times of suffering – the sort of confidence that has us boasting in our suffering like the Apostle Paul – way out. Crazy guy that he was.

So picking up Hannah’s story thus far – she’s been through a terrible time of trial – childless, despised because she is barren and so she went to God and poured her heart out. 1 Samuel 1:9–11. And that prayer gave her such incredible peace.

Then the woman went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and her countenance was sad no longer. (Verse 18)

I cannot begin to tell you the number of times that I have gone to God in distress about something – some great drama or problem, some great obstacle in the ministry, or blockage in a relationship –something causing me distress or pain and prayed about it, only to discover His peace.

This next Bible verse I’m going to share with you is absolutely pivotal in my walk with Jesus – Philippians 4:6,7

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

So if you hear me coming back to it again and again, it’s because it beats in my heart as an absolute truth – this promise that if instead of worrying I go to God with a thankful heart and just pour it all out to Him the way Hannah did, the peace of God will guard my heart and mind. That’s what happened to Hannah. That’s what happened to Paul on death row over a thousand years later. That’s what happens to me every time I dare to live out and act out and pray out that promise – 2000 years on and that’s what will happen to you, when you believe this verse, this truth with your own life.

The peace of God will be restored to you. The confidence that you have in Jesus will grow – it’s like a gift from God. It’s so incredibly special. My friend, please listen to me today. God doesn’t want us to be afraid – as He said to Joshua at a difficult time in his ministry – be strong and courageous. That’s His will for your life and mine.

Strength and courage. Now – I’m a pretty strong sort of character, but let me boast here in my trials – when I’m going through a tough patch I have to tell you I don’t feel strong. I don't feel courageous When fear grips my heart, I feel weak and worthless, just the same as you do. The only thing that makes a difference, is praying, pouring my heart out to God and trusting in His Word. Can I say it again – in case you missed it – because this is the crux of it. This is the heart of it. This is how to receive God’s gift of confidence: The only thing that makes a difference is praying, pouring my heart out to God and trusting in His Word.

And it made a difference to Hannah too. She had peace. Her countenance was sad no longer. Hallelujah. Isn’t that what you are looking for? The confidence in Christ, to replace your sadness in times of trouble. But it didn’t stop there. God blessed her, He honoured her, because she honoured Him - 1 Samuel 1:19–28:

They rose early in the morning and worshipped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. Elkanah knew his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. In due time Hannah conceived and bore a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I have asked him of the Lord.”

The man Elkanah and all his household went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice, and to pay his vow. But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, that he may appear in the presence of the Lord, and remain there forever; I will offer him as a nazirite for all time.” Her husband Elkanah said to her, “Do what seems best to you, wait until you have weaned him; only—may the Lord establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son, until she weaned him. When she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three- year- old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine. She brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh; and the child was young. Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed; and the Lord has granted me the petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he is given to the Lord.” She left him there for the Lord

My friend you and I serve a good God. He honours those who honour Him. It distresses me so greatly when I see people travelling through the difficult times of life – people who earnestly believe in Jesus – but they struggle so much to make it through. And so I ask them – tell me about your prayer life right now. Tell me about your Bible reading right now.

And they tell me – I don’t pray, it’s too hard. I don’t read my Bible. Two things that are so simple. Two things that open the way for the Lord to pour His Spirit and His peace and His power and His confidence into our hearts and they’re just not doing those things. Why? It’s so simple. God’s promise is so true. He wants to bring peace and confidence and courage into your heart. He truly does.

Following Jesus is difficult. We wish it was easy. In fact, we think it should be easy. But it’s not. It’s hard. That’s just the way it is. And that reality is something that most people struggle to come to grips with. How about you?

1. The Road Less Travelled

Adversity is a fact of life. It happens in all areas of our lives, at different times. In our finances. In our relationships. In our jobs. In our families. In our health. In our own thoughts and emotions.

Last month on the program I shared a series of messages with you called How to Stop Your Family from Falling Apart. And quite a number of people wrote to me and said, in effect: well, my family has already fallen apart. What about me? And so later this year we’ll be chatting about marriage separation and divorce, losing a loved one, singleness, childlessness … because things don’t always follow that old fairy tale ending … and they lived happily ever after.

My preference and your preference is that life should be easy – if not completely easy, then at least ten or 15 or twenty percent easier than it is just at the moment. Just a little bit less of a struggle. Just a little bit easier. Oh – and no major catastrophes. No major disasters that cause us pain.

And the key here is expectation. My parent’s generation went through World War II – my dad fought in the German army on the Russian front. My mother lived through air raids and the bombing of her home town Graz in Austria. And when I look at those people from that generation – whether European or Australian or wherever they come from, their expectations of life being easy aren’t as high as perhaps yours and mine are.

My generation – the baby boomers – we were born in the 1950's and 60’s in a golden era of prosperity and hope. Our parents, having suffered much through WWII worked hard to give us a better life. All the modern electric kitchen gadgets, televisions (okay, black and white, but televisions nevertheless) motor cars, all those things happened post World War II – and they indeed gave us a better, more prosperous life.

And so, we boomers carried on that tradition with our children – Gen X and Gen Y – who carried it on with their children – the millennials … and so it goes on. As prosperity boomed in the west, our expectations of what is normal became incredibly inflated. Prosperity is normal. Peace is normal. Success is normal. And of course, the advertising industry chimed in, feeding us, bombarding us constantly with images of success.

Now, what I’m describing doesn’t apply everywhere. There are plenty of people listening today who live in desperate adversity – in refugee camps, in war–torn parts of the world. But even as I travel through those parts of the world, what I see is that the lure of the prosperity of the west beckons. Media is global today. TV, the internet is global. And so people feed on this inflated set of expectations – and we begin to imagine that success, peace, prosperity and comfort are the norm – or if not quite the norm, at least those are the things that we should aspire to.

Comfortable house – tick. Nice car – tick. Healthy superannuation fund – tick. Private schooling for our children – tick. The latest techno-gadgets – tick. The latest fashions – tick.

And for men and women of faith – those of us who believe in Jesus – we tend to drop this worldly model of success onto the Bible, we try and create our own blended theology of success. We expect that following Jesus should be easy – and when they discover that it isn’t, many fall by the wayside. Surely if God loves me He wants to bless me – why am I having to deal with all the problems and challenges and issues and conflicts and adversity? Either there’s something wrong with Him or there’s something wrong with me … I don’t know but something isn’t working.

Have you ever thought that to yourself … or perhaps, if you haven’t quite articulated it that clearly, as I talked about it, you find yourself nodding your head in agreement … Yeah … Yeah … That’s right. That’s what I’m feeling.

So before we can really talk about following Jesus with confidence – and hey, if I’m going to follow Jesus, if I’m going to call Him my Lord and my Saviour, then I want to follow Him with a quiet confidence in my heart – but before we can talk about that, we need to deal with this expectation gap. Have a listen to this exchange between Jesus and a couple of would–be followers whom He met along the way:

Now when Jesus saw great crowds around him, he gave orders to go over to the other side. A scribe then approached and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Another of his disciples said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead. (Matthew 8:18–22)

It seems to me that Jesus isn’t calling you and me to a life of comfort. Following Jesus is a journey and from what I can see here – Jesus isn’t promising you and me a big house with two living areas, four bedrooms and a double car garage, in a nice suburb. He’s setting out the reality – plainly and simply – that following Him is an uncomfortable journey.

I often wonder how that second guy felt, the one whose father had just died. Jesus, I really want to follow you, but my dad’s just died, and I have to go bury him first.” I remember when my father died, I don’t think I’d have missed his funeral for the world.

And Jesus replies – Follow me and let the dead bury their own dead. The only words that I can come up with to describe that is harsh and unfeeling. If I’d have been that guy, I’d have been thinking – Do I really want to follow this Jesus??

But Jesus here was making a point – a strong point – about what it means to follow Him. It’s not a life of comfort or compromises. Here it is again – Jesus:

Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish. ’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:23–35)

My friend – have you counted the cost? Are you expecting an easy ride with Jesus, or do you see the stark reality that He’s painting here? Of course, we go through times of great blessing in our relationships and in our circumstances from time to time. Well, most people do. But what Jesus is saying here is that suffering and sacrifice are the norm for a Christ–follower.

Most of us are worried about the single most important person on the planet – me! What’s in it for me? We’re constantly asking ourselves. What do I get out of this? But Jesus said:

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it. What does it profit them if they gain the whole world, but lose or forfeit themselves (Luke 9:23–25)

If we have the wrong expectations of Jesus, then we are never going to be able to follow Him with confidence. Some days it’s going to be hard. That doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means that that’s what Jesus promised.

So – let me leave you with this question: In your heart of hearts, what are you expecting of Jesus? Are you expecting what He promised, or are you expecting what the world tells you, you should be getting?

2. Reacting to Adversity

Recently my wife Jacqui had an operation on her foot – and those days immediately after the operation, she was in a lot of pain. Now Jacqui is an active woman, out there doing things, planning things, helping people – that’s just who she is.

But in those few days after the operation, all she could focus on was the pain she was in. It’s pretty natural, acute pain has a way of blocking everything else out. I was still having to think about this and that, keep the ministry running (which she’s normally involved in) get meals on the table, do the shopping.

But for her, in those few days, it was pretty much all about dealing with the pain. Of course you’ve been there – whether it was physical pain or emotional pain – and you know all about that. You know how pain seems to block out the rest of the world and convince you that pain is all there is.

It’s our natural reaction to adversity isn’t it? We lower our gaze, we focus on the immediate and nothing else matters. But as natural as it is, this reaction to adversity and pain, you know something, it doesn’t serve us very well.

And what magnifies our pain often is the unrealistic expectation that we shouldn’t be having to deal with it. Hang on – I believe in Jesus and surely God wants to bless me and so why is this happening to me … is what we often find ourselves thinking, right? When all along, Jesus said …

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it. What does it profit them if they gain the whole world, but lose or forfeit themselves (Luke 9:23–25)

That’s a picture of suffering and sacrifice, not comfort and compromise. And it seems to me that accepting that reality is one of the hardest things to do – and yet it’s just so necessary if we’re going to get the sort of perspective on life that allows us to follow Jesus with confidence.

What do I mean by that? If we simply don’t accept reality, if we’re kicking against and struggling with reality – if we refuse to accept delivery of the reality that Jesus promised to anyone who would follow Him – how can we possibly be in a place where we can follow Him with confidence.

Listen again please to Jesus’s own words:

Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it. (Matthew 7:13,14)

So there you are, you’re travelling on that narrow difficult road that leads to life, because in your heart of hearts you’ve chosen to follow Jesus – the road less travelled. Yet you’re heading upwards on that difficult road, wishing that it was a whole bunch more like that wide, easy road that heads downwards to destruction. And that double–mindedness is what’s killing you. That double–mindedness is what’s stopping you from following Jesus with confidence because your heart is longing after the alternative. Double–mindedness is a real killer. Have a listen:

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind;, for the doubter, being double- minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord. (James 1:2–8)

But the problem is how do we change our mind? It’s easy for me to sit here in the comfort of a nice, isolated studio and tell you – don’ be double–minded – and you’re thinking, but it hurts so much. It’s so hard. I’m struggling. I don’t want to be double–minded – but I don’t know how not to be. Yeah, well, I have exactly the same problem. And the answer – the how – comes to us from God. From God’s Word. Let me read you this short extract from the longest chapter in the Bible – Psalm 119 – it’s written by a man who’s struggling, who’s going through a lot of pain. And he tells us the “how” – verses 97 to 114:

Oh, how I love your law! It is my meditation all day long. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is always with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your decrees are my meditation.

I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts. I hold back my feet from every evil way, in order to keep your word. I do not turn away from your ordinances, for you have taught me. How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to observe your righteous ordinances. I am severely afflicted; give me life, O Lord, according to your word.

Accept my offerings of praise, O Lord, and teach me your ordinances. I hold my life in my hand continually, but I do not forget your law. The wicked have laid a snare for me, but I do not stray from your precepts. Your decrees are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. I incline my heart to perform your statutes forever, to the end. I hate the double- minded, but I love your law.

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.

Do you see the power of what he’s saying here? It’s God’s Word that is a lamp to his feet – to help him take the next step and a light to his path – so he can see ahead a little ways. The person who wrote this psalm is going through the whole adversity and pain thing just the way that you and I do. He has enemies on his tail, and the going is tough. But what he’s saying here as he pours out his heart to God – is that God’s Word is what is making all the difference. Listen again:

Oh, how I love your law! It is my meditation all day long. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is always with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your decrees are my meditation.

Whenever someone who is going through a rough patch asks me – what can I do? How can I find peace? How can I discover confidence and faith in God? I ask them this question: how much time are you spending reading God’s Word, pondering it, praying about it, thinking, turning it over in your mind? Invariably the answer is little or no time. Man I tell you. This is the only way to discover God’s peace in the middle of the storm. Bible reading and prayer.

It sounds glib. It sounds simplistic. It sounds like – here take a couple of aspirin for your migraine. But it’s not that at all. Prayer and Bible reading are simple and powerful. And the only way I’ve managed to get through some of the really rough patches in my life have been to listen to God speak to me through His Word.

You can read books, you can listen to guys like me yabber on, you can phone a friend, you can try all sorts of things. But I am here to tell you that there is nothing as powerful as God’s Word. His Spirit uses it to strengthen you, encourage you, admonish you, guide you, give you wisdom. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

And yet so many of God’s people, travelling through a rough patch, leave their Bible in a bottom draw, or up on a shelf, gathering dust, or in a box in the storeroom. What’s the matter with us?

3. That “One Thing”

So what is your “one thing”? That one thing that right now is rocking you to the core, shaking your foundations. We don’t like to admit that that’s what’s going on in us. But let me tell you, as I sit here chatting with you – I certainly have my own “one thing” that’s testing my faith.

We go to church on a Sunday, sing the songs, listen to the sermon, catch up with people afterwards and they ask us – So, how are you going? – and we smile and tell them “Oh, just fine, how about you?” in a well rehearsed ritual as we hide our despair behind the mask that we put on.

We want to believe that Jesus is in this with us and we want to have the faith that we think we’re supposed to have, to get us through … but somehow it eludes us. I know you know what I’m talking about, because anybody who has determined to follow Jesus has been to that place.

Sometimes it’s disillusionment. Sometimes we express it in anger or frustration, or by isolating ourselves. So the question that arises, is this: when we’re in that place of low confidence, overwhelmed as we often are by our circumstances and situation, what can we do?

How can we get through that? How can you at this moment, lay hold of the confidence in God that is eluding you in this difficult time?

Well, let me pick up where I left before the break. The only way, in my experience, that I am able to lay hold of my faith in God, you know find it so that it makes a difference, experience the confidence in God and His peace that I know I should have, is to spend time in His Word, the Bible, and in prayer. Alone. Just with Him. Over and over again. Listen to this parable that Jesus told about persistence in prayer. It’s a powerful one: Luke 11:5–13:

And Jesus said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him. ’ And he answers from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything. ’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs.

“So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish? Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.

Do you see – He wants us to persist in prayer. Come back again and again, day after day – ask, search, knock – why? Why does God do things that way? Why doesn’t He just give us what we ask for first time round? Because He wants to grow our faith and our confidence in Him. He wants us to rest, to believe in His Word, to pour out our hearts to Him day after day and in that process as the answers to prayer come, what we discover is that all along the Holy Spirit – given to us by this gracious, loving God of ours – has been at work in us.

Growing in confidence in anyone or anything, is a process. Trusting a person, trusting the pilot on the plane in the middle of a severe storm – happens through experience. So why wouldn’t it be the same in our relationship with God. It happens through a combination of faith and experience through the tough times. And those times of one–on–one prayer and Bible reading are so precious – so incredibly precious – because they deliver the results. Hmmm. Don’t believe me? Try it. Just try it and be amazed!

With families falling apart left, right and centre, it’s all too easy to look at our family and imagine that it’s beyond the point of no return. But that doesn’t have to be the case. God is on your side – and the time to act, to bring your family back together isn’t tomorrow. It’s… now!

Forgive Past Wrongs

Here’s the thing about the people in our families. We generally know them better than anyone else does. Why? Because we live with them. Most of us can put up a facade that will fool people out there – but none of us is capable of maintaining that façade 24/7 – at home. Eventually, at home – who we really are, comes to the fore.

The people in our families, know our strengths and weaknesses like nobody else. You may listen to my smooth voice and imagine that I have it all together. My wife could tell you otherwise. I try my best, but I’m far from perfect, just the way that you’re far from perfect.

So – we see all the strengths and weaknesses of the other members of our family. But because we live with these people, their weaknesses and failures and limitations – even just their differences, the ways in which they’re different from us – become like Chinese water torture. Here’s how Chinese water torture works.

Back in the 15^th and 16^th centuries Christianityworks, AD, they would tie a subject down, immobilise him, and then drop water on his forehead.  They’d vary the timing and intensity without warning, and this would go on for days. Eventually, it felt like there was a brick falling on the victims head – it became completely unbearable. 

It was the constancy, repetitiveness and unpredictability of the drips that caused the victim such great distress.  Just simple small drips of water became totally unbearable. And that is what, so often, happens with the weaknesses and failures of the people we live with.

I was having coffee with a man recently and he was telling me something that his wife had done which drove him, the other day, into a complete fit of rage. He’d had enough. He just couldn’t take it anymore. Now the thing that his wife did, in and of itself, wasn’t such a big deal. But they’ve been married for going onto 30 years, and she’s been doing it all that time.

It’s the Chinese water torture thing. You see? I wonder, what are the things that some of your family members do over and over again, that drive you to anger and despair all at the same time. Often they’re just little things. For instance, I’m one of these people who has a place for everything and puts everything back in its place. Seems obvious to me. That way, next time I need it, I’ll know where to find it.

My wife and my daughter aren’t like that. It doesn’t seem important to them, to put the sharp kitchen knives back into the knife block in the same order, so that when you reach for the one second from the top, you get a carving knife, not a bread knife. It doesn’t seem important when they borrow a pen from the penholder in my study, to put it back again, so that I’ll have something to write with, next time I reach for a pen.

Now, that doesn’t make them bad people. They’re not. Love them both, and truly, they have strengths and abilities that I will never have. There are things that I fail to do – that they simply can’t understand.  But this whole knife and pen thing – as small as those things are – used to drive me absolutely around the twist. How can they not get it? Well, they don’t and they probably never will because… they’re different to me.

So – here’s my choice.  Seems to me that there are 3 options here: Option 1 is to continue to get angry with them and tell them what a bad job they’re doing at being a wife and a daughter. Option 2, is to hold my tongue, say nothing but still harbour that anger and resentment inside. And Option 3 is to forgive them immediately and completely.

Which one do you think is the best option? Pretty obvious isn’t it. Option 1 is going to tear us apart. Option 2 is going to tear me apart. Option 3 is going to promote family harmony and let’s face it, which slot in the knife block the knives go in is hardly a big issue, is it? And I do have other pens in the top drawer of my study desk when all is said and done.

These examples may seem trivial to you. And they are, but they have the potential to create a lot of conflict in our household. And I’m guessing that you have some things – equally trivial, equally inconsequential – that set you off too. And because they’ve been done by your family members over and over and over again, you are so sensitive to them, that when they happen, you could just about scream. Am I right? I’m pretty sure I am.

What is it that your family members do (or don’t do) to you that make you want to scream? Come on, just think about them now. You’ll know what they are in an instant because you’re so attuned to them. It’s like you’re almost waiting for it to happen again at any moment, right? So when those things happen the next time, which option are you going to choose:

Option 1 – get angry with them (again!!) and tell them what a bad job they’re doing. Option 2 – hold your tongue and say nothing, but let the anger and resentment build up inside you. Or…. Option 3 – forgive them immediately and completely. Which one will it be? And when you choose that option – what will the consequences of your choice be?

Here’s the reason that unforgiveness is so toxic in a family context. Because it’s cumulative, like the Chinese water torture. Each drip, drop, drip… magnifies the impact on you and the consequences of your actions. And that unforgiveness – each time it happens – it’s like… like wedges being driven between family members, slowly and inexorably tearing them apart.

Before you know it – this family that should be a close-knit, loving unit – is a collection of warring tribes, with no love, or common purpose or sense of family left that anybody can discern at a safe distance.  So if unforgiveness is tearing your family apart. There’s just one place for you to begin.

Begin by forgiving people instantly – in fact, you can even forgive them in advance, anticipating the next drip in the water torture, and even before it comes, neutralising its effect on you. Forgiveness based on tolerance is what keeps families together. Forgiveness – your own, and your example that others will surely model and follow – is what’s going to stop your family from falling apart.

Jesus said this:

Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, Let me take the speck out of your eye, while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye. (Matt 7:1–5)

He’s absolutely right isn’t He? This precisely describes the pattern of unforgiveness that goes on in our families. We behave on the premise that we’re wrong, and they’re right – not realising that we ourselves, have a distorted view of things.

This whole forgiveness thing starts with us. It starts with us examining our own flawed judgements and reactions. How can we judge others and conclude that they’re wrong, simply because God wired them differently on the inside? How can an encourager judge a leader – and conclude that the leader is flawed, just because she’s not an encourager?

That’s exactly what we do in our families and we build up layers of unforgiveness, simply because God’s made that family member who’s annoying us different from us. And those layers of unforgiveness tear families apart.

Want to stop your family falling apart. Then forgive them quickly and completely – and all of a sudden – you mark my words – they’ll see the wisdom in that and start doing the same. That’s how you stop your family from falling apart.

Hope for the Future

Well, over these few messages we’ve been talking about how to stop families from falling apart. And here’s the thing with this whole marriage breakdown and family breakdown thing. It doesn’t happen overnight.

Nobody gets married with the aim of having their marriage fail. Nobody brings children into the world with the intent of seeing them grow up and leave the family never to return. Nobody nurtures a family, with the express intent of seeing it disintegrate in front of their very eyes do they?

Families don’t fall apart overnight. It’s a gradual process. It begins with distractions – other things, seemingly important things, even apparently good things, start to crowd out our family times together. And so we go our different ways and then, we don’t connect as often or as deeply as we used to.

Before you know it, the members of our family  – yours and mine – we’re all living separate lives.  Now – as kids grow up, they’re meant to have their own lives. And it’s good for a husband and a wife to have some different interests, things that they do apart as well as together.

All those things are fine until we stop connecting on a deeper, emotional level. Why do we do that? Because we’re tired. Because we’re distracted and sometimes, because connecting with people we love, hurts. What – love hurts? Sure it does! Whenever we love an imperfect person, that person is going to hurt us. Whenever we’re loved by another – because we’re imperfect – we’re going to hurt them.

And after a while, those hurts become deeper and deeper – we talked about that whole Chinese water torture effect the other day on the program. And so we retreat into our shell – an hide from the hurt. And there you have it. Instead of connecting with our loved ones on a deep emotional level, we now have a family that’s disconnected. We now have a family that is ready, to fall apart. In fact, the process is already well underway.

Talking about this stuff – I am so deeply conscious that some people have recently been through that and some may well be travelling down that painful road at the moment. Or perhaps your adult children are going through it at the moment in their families. When families fall apart it is deeply, deeply painful. And here’s the reason why.

Because a man and a woman, when they fall in love and get married – have hopes and dreams for their future together. They start their marriage with a great sense of anticipation. When they bring their children into the world, they have hopes and dreams for them too. And all of a sudden when we come to that point of realising that our family – not someone else’s – our family is on the road to destruction – that realisation robs us of our hopes and dreams.

There is nothing so devastating as to see your hopes and dreams lying shattered at your feet. I know – because I’ve been there. Many years ago now – but I remember that sense of hopelessness as though it were yesterday. Of all the pains and hurts that I’ve experienced in my life, hopelessness is by far the worst by a country mile.

Whilst we live in the here and now, today – we’re always looking forward to the future. And when the things we’d been hoping for in our futures start to look unattainable, it’s completely devastating.

So – what do you do when that happens? Do you give up? A lot of people do. A lot of people simply resign themselves to the fact that their marriage is going to fall apart. Or, in cultures where husband and wife are not likely to divorce, they resign themselves to a lifelong marriage of separation and isolation.

In a sense, it’s the impending sense of failure of a family, that causes too many people to withdraw their efforts to hold their family together, way, way too early. What I have to say now is specifically for anyone whose family has fallen apart, is in the process of falling apart or will one day start falling apart. And it comes from Martin Luther King Jr. who once said:

"Only in the darkness can you see the stars."

When the night is the darkest, that’s the time that you will discover the stars – the treasures in your family relationships that are worth saving. So many people in those dark places, give up their hope for their family. They stop fighting to keep it together. They go the way of convenience –as we do in a disposable world – instead of the hard road of fighting tooth and nail to keep their family together.

If you are in a dark night at the moment with your family – I want to tell you this – do not give up hope. The Apostle had more than most of us to be hopeless about. The guy  – he walked a tough road. People tried to kill him. He was imprisoned, flogged, beaten. HE was shipwrecked, bitten by a viper and then he spent years on death row – finally to be executed.  This is what he writes about hope:

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

Hope is that thing that lives in our hearts that believes in a better tomorrow. And when we see those precious stars in that inky black night in which we live – hope is what drives our behaviour. If we give up hope – we stop doing all the things we can do to keep our family together. When we give up hope, we stop connecting, we stop sacrificing, we stop forgiving, we stop encouraging, we stop loving.

In a very real sense – the moment you stop hoping for better things for your family – your hopelessness is driving one nail after the other in the coffin of your family relationships.

But the opposite is also true. In the face of a family that looks like it’s falling apart, in that place where it looks as though your hopes and dreams are being shattered, your future is being destroyed, you can continue to hope for better things. You can look at your wife or husband and think to yourself – they are so precious to me. I know it’s not going well at the moment – but I believe that I can make a difference here.

And so your hope starts to drive the thoughts and attitudes and actions that will bring your family together. When the night is dark, whatever you do, don’t give up your hope in your family.

Because God is a God of hope. Interesting, whenever the Bible talks about hope – the original Hebrew and Greek words that it uses doesn’t mean an uncertain hope, rather it means a certain hope. An uncertain hope is something like – Oh, I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow.  But that’s not what God means when He talks to us about hope.

Because when it comes to your family, there’s one thing for certain, God is in the business of keeping it together. And the most powerful thing that you and I can do when we begin to notice our families drifting apart, is to place our hope in God. To take our family to Him in prayer – to pray for our marriage, our children – and ask Him to make a difference.

Lord show me what I can do – and Lord please do the things that I can’t do.

From the very beginning, God took a man and a woman and brought them together to be cleaved to one another, joined in such beautiful intimacy as to become one flesh – and in so doing, to bring children into this world. What a wondrously beautiful, stunningly magnificent plan. And this very same God will fight tooth and nail with you to keep your family together.

Friend, if your family is going through a rough patch, place your hope in Him and let that hope – the certain hope you have in His grace and mercy and power – drive your attitudes, your thoughts and your actions. And as Moses said to God’s People:

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (Deut 31:6)

The Time for Action... Is Now

So many of us allow the important things to drift because we have so many urgent things that crowd out the important ones. But the truth is, that not all of the things that appear to be urgent, are.

You may have heard some of our recent messages in a series called "Healthy Living To a Ripe Old Age."  And I shared how for many years, I ignored my diet, I did precious little exercise, I became quite obese and I was really headed on down a well-worn path, to an early grave. My father died of complications related to diabetes, at the relatively young age of 74.

I was headed the same way. I told myself I was too busy to exercise. I told myself I travelled too much, and it was too hard to control my diet. And so in my mind, I swept the whole issue of health, diet and exercise under the carpet and kidded myself that I was just fine. The results of that stupidity, had I allowed it to continue, carrying an extra 25 kgs or 55 lbs of fat on my body – would, eventually, have been catastrophic.

The same is true of our family life. We kid ourselves that it's not really a problem working all hours, neglecting the simple pleasures with our family. Eating meals together. Having fun together. Praying together. We kid ourselves that we can hold grudges and unforgiveness in our hearts towards our so-called loved ones and it won’t really make a difference.

And all the while, the members of this precious family are drifting apart, until one day, you realise that – for all intents and purposes – you’re not really a family anymore.  Let me put it quietly, yet plainly and directly – so that you can make no mistake here. If your family is drifting apart, like the pieces of ice at one of the poles as the warmer months approach – if your family is on a course to destruction – then you have to start doing something now. Now is the time for action.

Now is the time to admit that there is something terribly wrong. Now is the time to take the initiative and begin to do the things that we’ve been talking about on the program. Because God doesn’t want YOUR family to be the one that falls apart in your street. God wants your family to be the place that brings glory to Him. That shows other people what families should be like. At some point we need to choose – is our family life going to honour God or not? It’s one or the other. We can’t be wishy washy about it. Joshua 24:15:

Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

Friend – which one is it going to be? Please stop kidding yourself. If your family is drifting apart, if you can see it happening, if in your heart of hearts you know it’s happening – then eventually, if you don’t do anything about it, if you don’t seize the initiative, it’s going to fall apart. It’s as simple as that.

And the pain and suffering of a family that falls apart simply isn’t worth it. It just isn’t. Trust me. If we stand by and do nothing – no matter what role we have in our family – parent or child, brother or sister, grandfather or grandmother – if we just knowingly watch it happen and let it happen, then to be truthful, we have blood on our hands.

We are as guilty as the rest of them in letting it happen. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As we’ve seen in this series, the power of God is on your side, as you set about doing the simple things that you can do to start bringing your family back together again. Because Families are God’s idea. They have been right from the beginning. They reflect the very nature of God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – living together in perfect unity for all eternity. God wants your family to thrive and to prosper and to be a loving place of safety, compassion and comfort. That’s God’s will for your family. When we do our bit, God will certainly step in and do His. So… what’s it going to be?

These days way too many families are falling apart. But as it turns out there are 3 very simple things that you can do to stop that from happening. None of them is rocket science. None of them is particularly onerous.

Eat Together

We’ve all had that experience – having a meal with someone takes a relationship to a whole new level. Not quite sure what makes this whole eating together so important to us – but it is. It’s one of the primary ways that we form relationships.

It’s a very special thing. Eating meals together with other people – in almost every culture on the planet – is an incredibly important part of building and strengthening relationships. We kind of already know that – but just stopping to think about it and talk about it – really drives it home doesn’t it?

So why is it then, that we’re seeing declining rates of families having meals together? In the UK for instance, one in ten families never sits down to an evening meal together. But that same study – which surveyed 3,000 families – revealed that two-thirds of children yearn for a return to the traditional family dinner time. And four out of 10 children have even asked their mother or father to have more evening meals together as a family.

A similar study conducted in New Zealand found that the whilst majority of 15-year-olds – 64.7% – reported that they shared a main meal with their parents around a table several times a week whilst 35.3% – or just over a third – reported that they didn’t have that privilege. The newspaper USA Today had this to say on the whole subject of family dinners:

Family dinners help kids avoid risky behaviours and may even help them in school. But new research shows that the more frequent these dinners, the better the adolescents fare emotionally, says new research published this week in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

"The effect doesn't plateau after three or four dinners a week," says co-author Frank Elgar, an associate professor of psychiatry at McGill University in Montréal. "The more dinners a week the better." With each additional dinner, researchers found fewer emotional and behavioural problems, greater emotional well-being, more trusting and helpful behaviours toward others and higher life satisfaction, regardless of gender, age or family economics. The study was based on a nationally representative sample of 26,069 Canadian adolescents ages 11 to 15 in 2010.

Do we really need more studies and statistics to tell us what we already know – eating meals together is good for children, and good for families? Eating meals together stops people from falling apart and families from falling apart. And yet it’s something that in many countries – we’re doing less and less. It’s as though we’re hell-bent on destroying our families.

And our family contains the most precious people on the earth to us, right? What’s one thing – just one thing that you can do to stop your family from falling apart? Eat meals together as often as you possibly can. They’re important for children, they’re especially important for teenagers and they’re important too for husbands and wives.

Over the dinner table in the evening – it’s as though we check in with each other. We find out what’s been happening in each other’s days. How are the rest of our family members going? What joys and triumphs did they have today? What sadnesses and disappointments? Time magazine puts it this way:

Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use. "If it were just about food, we would squirt it into their mouths with a tube," says Robin Fox, an anthropologist who teaches at Rutgers University in New Jersey, about the mysterious way that family dinner engraves our souls. "A meal is about civilizing children. It's about teaching them to be a member of their culture."

I want to encourage you to take this one thing in your family seriously. It’s all about being a family – providing a safe place for one another – not just the children, but also the adults. I’ve found that our kids need us just as much – differently – but just as much now that they’re young adults.

This one thing is so simple to do. It’s so practical. Okay, perhaps it will require some changes to entrenched routines. Perhaps your children will raise their eyebrows or wonder what’s going on. But remember that study – most of the children on this planet long for a return to regular family mealtime. And for you – it’s perhaps the simplest most practical thing that you can do to stop your family from falling apart.

Just sit down, once every day, and have a meal with your family. Can it really be that simple? Sure it can. If the studies are right – it’s worth a try. As I open my Bible – there seems to be precious little in it about sharing a meal together as a family. Or… is there? I guess back in the times when the various books of the Bible were written, there weren’t all the distractions that we have today, to tear families apart. No cable television, or mobile phones, or internet, or social media.

And yet it seems that God sees the family as the central piece in bringing children close to Him. This is what God says to His people way back in the book of Deuteronomy Chapter 6, starting at verse 4:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. 6 Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. 7 Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise.

Talk to your children about God. And to the church, he says in the NT – Hebrews 10:25

And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Bring those two together into the modern-day malady of families falling apart and the message is clear. We need to spend time together as a family – it’s good for us. It’s God’s will for us. And the easiest way to start is to do what comes naturally. Eat meals together. It really is that simple.

Play Together

Can I ask you a question – what do you do with your spare time? Do you invest it, spend it, or waste it? Let’s take a look at your week and break it down. We’re all different of course, but here’s a typical week – you make your own modifications to suit your lifestyle as we go along.

Each week has 168 hours. So – the average working week is 40 hours. That leaves 128 hours. Let’s say you spend 7 and a half hours commuting – that’s one and a half hours five times a week) now we’re down to 120 hours roughly. 2 hours a day – 14 hours a week, preparing and eating meals – that leaves 106 hours. Oh – we’ve forgotten sleep. Can’t forget sleep. Let’s say you’re getting 8 hours a night there’s another 56 hours for the week – now, we’re down to 50 hours and right there, you have your spare time. Some of that’s going to be taken up with necessary chores – washing, cleaning, shopping – let’s say they add up to 10 hours – what’s left now, is 40 hours.

40 hours of spare time! That’s pretty much the same as the average working week. 40 hours is rather a lot, wouldn’t you agree? As I said, different people have different routines. I work longer the average and sleep slightly less than the average. So I’m probably closer to 30 hours of spare time a week – that’s still rather a lot. That’s over 4 hours a day of spare time – 7 days a week – on average – less on weekdays, more on weekends.

30 hours, 40 hours – whatever your spare time ratio is, that’s rather a lot. Some of it, you’re going to want to rest and spend on your own. Just getting some “me” time is important to recharge your batteries. Watch a bit of TV perhaps, hop onto Facebook, surf the internet, whatever it is you enjoy doing. Perhaps reading a good book. Fantastic. But there’s one very important thing that we haven’t talked about yet when it comes to our leisure time – and that “thing” is your family. Husbands with wives, wives with husbands, parents with children, children with parents.

Last time I checked, being a family was meant to be fun. It’s not all fun of course. Disciplining our children isn’t always fun. Fights and arguments aren’t always fun. Sometimes being a family is hard work. That’s okay. That’s the way it was meant to be. But here’s what I’ve noticed. The more fun families have together, the less time they spend fighting and arguing; the more fun they have together, the less it feels like hard work.

So – here’s my question for you today. How much fun are you guys having together as a family? Do you plan fun times into your busy week? Do you have spontaneous fun time, where you forget about your busy schedule and just laugh and play together. When I was a young lad, my father worked really hard. He emigrated to Australia after WW II and whilst he had an engineering degree, it wasn’t recognised in this country, so, with a young family and a demanding job, he went back to university and studied for 7 years part-time – I can’t imagine how soul-destroying that must have been.

He had a senior position and so spent long hours at work. But sometime, early on, he decided that he and I would collect stamps together. It was our hobby together and we built up quite a stamp collection. That was almost half a century ago. I had those stamps valued recently – they came to just a few hundred dollars. Nothing really. But the time that we spent together as father and son remains a priceless memory for me that I shall treasure until my dying day.

Families that play together, stay together. One of the greatest things that you and I can do to stop our families from falling apart, is to have fun together. To deliberately schedule time, to plan time and activities, hobbies, car rides – whatever that are times of fun that we can have together as families.

Okay, they’re not always exactly what we want to do. But those times of fun together as a family, are the times that your children will treasure when you, like my father, are long gone. What can you do to stop your family from falling apart? Play together. Waste time on each other having simple fun, enjoying simple pleasures. Do it deliberately. Do it in the face of the pressing realities that crowd out your time. Because your family, your children, are truly the most precious people on the planet. Doesn’t it make sense to invest some of your precious time in them? Just stop and think. What do your kids enjoy doing? Is it going down to the park to kick a football around? Or going to a movie? Playing dress-ups or perhaps the odd shopping trip together? When we plan things to do with our families that make us laugh and enjoy life – that’s powerful stuff. How easy is it to allow the burdens that we carry round on our shoulders to rob us of the fun we can have in life? The decision to have fun together or not – as a family – is a decision that we each can make. So… what will you decide to do.

Once again, this isn’t something that the Bible talks about specifically, probably because when it was written, life wasn’t as crazy and hectic as it is today. There weren’t the individual, isolated entertainment options that we have today. In the evening, after dinner, there was no television, there was no electricity even – and so families naturally spent time together and invented their own entertainment. But the wealthier we become, the more options we have and the less fun we have together as families. What God’s Word does tell us to do is to make good use of our time and not to waste it. Because time is short.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16

In other words, use your time wisely – compared to this admonition:

Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to. 1 Timothy Ch.5:13

It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? There are good ways to spend our time and some really bad ways to spend our time. And one of the best ways that we can spend our time – one of the greatest and most pleasurable investments that we can make in the future – is to have fun, to make some time to play with our families. Can it really be that difficult to do? Families that play together, stay together.

Pray Together

So as we talk about our families – and the things that you and I can do to stop them falling apart – how can we possibly pass up the opportunity to talk about prayer. I have a very simple view of prayer. It goes something like this. Prayer is when we join hands with God, to get His will done on this earth. Do you remember Jesus’ master class on prayer? It was very simple.

Our father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors, And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one.

Do you see? It’s all about getting God’s will done on this earth, and trusting Him for His provision and His forgiveness. So let me ask you – is it God’s will for your family to stay together? Is it God’s will for your children to learn to honour their parents and love and obey God with glad and willing hearts? Is it God’s will for your family to reflect the wonder of His love in a world where families are falling apart en masse?

I don’t think you have to be such a great theologian, to be able to answer a resounding “yes” to all of those questions. And if we lived in a perfect world with a perfect family – well, it’d be pretty easy for us to live out His will. No problem at all. But we don’t live in a perfect world. And, I’m guessing, you don’t have a perfect family, am I right? You have the sort of family that we were chatting about on the program last time. You have the sort of family that has conflicts and clashes, personalities that sometimes rub one another the wrong way.

We somehow imagine that out there somewhere is some perfect family, but that’s simply not true. Every family has its issues and yours (and mine) is no exception to that universal reality. In fact, sometimes it can seem that keeping your family together – stopping them from falling apart – is completely impossible. Do you know why that is? Because it’s true. There are some things that you can’t do to keep your family together – they require supernatural power. They require the power of God – and fortunately, as we saw earlier, God has a mighty heart for your family. And He is ready, willing and able to step in and see His will done, when your family seems intent on tearing itself apart. That’s where prayer comes in.

Let’s imagine that there’s a teenager in your family – perhaps he’s your son or your grandson – who is going completely off the rails. He’s caught up with the wrong crowd – a recipe for disaster if ever you saw one – and he may be into drugs. He’s out till all hours and you’re beside yourself, You just don’t know what to do. Nothing you say seems to make a difference. Nothing you do makes one iota of difference. You’re completely powerless to help him and if something doesn’t give, he’s going to find himself in serious trouble. Well, there is something that you can do. You can pray. Hmm. Sounds rather feeble doesn’t it? Because you want to do something real and practical. Have a listen to this:

John15:7 – If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Mark 11:24 – Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

Luke 11:9,10 – And I tell you, ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everybody who asks receives, everybody who seeks, finds and to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

Remember at the beginning of the program I said that the only sort of prayer the Bible teaches about, is the sort that has powerful results? In fact, prayer that yields powerful results is entirely normal in God’s sight. So – when you pray for that wayward teenager who’s bent on self–destruction – you are actually doing the single, most powerful thing that you can possibly do. When you pray for the husband and father who’s a workaholic. When you pray for the young daughter who’s going out on her first date with a boy. When you pray for the mother who is struggling with postnatal depression. When you pray for the marriage that seems to be coming apart at the seams. You are doing the most powerful thing that you can possibly do. Why? Because you are joining hands with God – the maker of the heavens and the earth, the same God that has a soft tender heart for your family – you’re joining hands with that God. The God who has the power, the wisdom and the desire to do the things that you cannot do.

Hello – is anybody hearing this? Are you listening? Is the mighty, powerful Word of God sinking into your heart and bringing hope back for you? Because that’s exactly what God intends to do through His Word today. The single most powerful thing that you can do for your family is to pray for them.

How much and how often do you pray for your family – as a whole and for the individuals? And – let me ask you this. How often do you pray together as a family. It’s a powerful thing for husband and wife to pray together. It’s a powerful thing for parents to learn how to pray from their parents, as the family prays together. Sadly, very few families pray together. But imagine what would happen if we took this one, most powerful thing that we can do for our family – to pray – and did it together. Imagine the transformative power as God changes the hearts of each member of your family through prayer. Imagine what your children would learn, how it would change them, as they see God answer the prayer of your family.

Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them. Matthew 18:19–20

Imagine if you gathered together in prayer and had Jesus in your midst. Come on! Prayer that yields powerful results is normal in God’s sight. Do you see the power of what it is that we’re talking about here? What if a good chunk of your prayer life were focussed on your family? What if your family together, as a family under God, prayed to Him together? How different would your family be? Fathers, husbands – it’s up to you here as the spiritual head of your household to take the lead here. Families that pray together, stay together. How about it?

Around the world, families are being torn apart. And it’s not just a global, social problem. It’s a deeply painful, personal problem. God has rather a lot to say about your family. To Him – family matters. After all, the whole family thing was His idea in the first place.

Your Family Matters

As I travel around the world and see what’s going on in different societies and cultures – here’s one of the things that I see. It’s happening all over the place. This thing that we call family – is under attack. It’s a war zone out there and this war is relentlessly pounding away at the family unit, intent it seems, on tearing it apart.

I’m a former army officer – and I remember once during my training they took us to a large firing range – it was open, you could see for miles, there were no trees. We were sitting on one hilltop and on a hill a few miles away, they’d dug a defensive installation. There were pits, bunkers with overhead protection, like the one's infantry soldiers would dig if they were defending that hill against the enemy.

Then they began to bombard that hill – first with light artillery, then with medium artillery and then with heavy artillery. It was the most unbelievable firepower demonstration I had ever seen. All of us who were watching it were thinking to ourselves – man, I’m glad I’m not in one of those bunkers on that hill – and since we were training to be army officers, training to lead men into war – we knew that one day, we could well find ourselves in that place.

But the artillery was nothing, compared to the bombs the planes dropped on that hill. Yep – a squadron of bombers clew over and dropped their loads on that target hill – it was just unbelievable. The massive firepower that was unleashed on that defensive position.

That’s what I see happening to families around the world. Modern life is bombarding our families in all sorts of ways. And the army that’s marching against our families is called “individualism”. One of the greatest variations in cultures that I see across the world – is the degree to which they’re collective or individualistic.

In many countries, they remain family and community-oriented. Typically, they’re the less economically developed countries and there’s a good reason for that. Because when people are less well off, they rely on one another for protection and support. The more economically developed a country becomes, the less they rely on one another and the more individualistic they become. But even in many countries in Africa and Asia in particular where I’ve travelled, there is an incessant march of individualism.

So even these family-oriented cultures aren’t immune – they are very much under attack from this western style of individualism, where it’s all about me, me, me. As media globalises, as cable television channels and internet and music crosses borders and cultural boundaries, our children, in particular, are being fed the line that it’s all about them. And it’s a seductive line. It’s a line that says "you can have it all."

That’s why individualism is sweeping the globe. That’s why families in family-oriented cultures are very much under attack.

And here in the so-called economically developed western cultures, hey – many families have been decimated. And those that haven’t, are under attack. In the west, divorce rates hover between 40 and 50%. In the west, many families don’t even share a single meal together. In the west, many children aren’t learning to honour their parents, to respect their grandparents.

In the west, families are disintegrating en masse and it seems that all we’re intent on doing is talking about the symptoms, but nobody much is talking about the heart of the problem. It’s like cancer – rates of cancer amongst people eating a western diet high in carbohydrates and seed oils are skyrocketing. I mean a hundred years ago, almost no one died of cancer. Today it’s one of the top 3 killers. And all the stuff you see on TV is about treating the disease, instead of asking why it’s happening and stopping it in its tracks.

It’s the same with this relentless attack on families. You hear adults talk about children who are disrespectful; you see young boys and girls going on drinking binges and getting rotten drunk – everybody’s talking about the symptoms. The disease however is the disintegration of the family unit. It’s the falling apart of the single, most important – God-ordained – social unit on the planet. The family. So I come back to my original thesis – the family is under attack. Relentless attack.

But this isn’t just a geopolitical issue. It’s not just a law and order issue. It’s not just a health issue. It’s not just a social issue. It’s a personal issue. Let’s bring it right down to you and me. Your family is under attack. My family is under attack. And when all is said and done, our families are the most important thing on this earth. Or are they?

On a scale of zero to 10 – how important is your family to you? Zero is not at all important. 10 is supremely important. Come on – no one’s marking your scorecard here except you yourself – HOW IMPORTANT IS YOUR FAMILY TO YOU, on a scale of zero to 10?

Some will answer that with an 8, 9 or 10. But many – many, if they’re honest with themselves, will be disturbed by the answer, because in their heart of hearts they’ll know that other things are much more important to them than their families. Women tend to place a far higher value on family and relationships, for instance, than men do. In part, it’s because mothers are wired to love their children in a special way. And in part, it’s because men are wired to be the hunter-gatherers, out there providing for their families.

But there are other distractions too. There’s the whole materialism treadmill that we can end up getting on – and we find ourselves having to work so long and so hard for the stuff we want to have, that we don’t have the time to invest in our families. I want to leave you with this one thought today – YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU. Mother Theresa once said:

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."

She had that right. Sometimes, we think there are all these big things out there for us to achieve. And hey, for some people there are. But nothing, nothing is bigger than going home and loving your family. This family that – okay – you didn’t choose for yourself. But this family that’s the only one that you have.

This family that is a precious gift to you from God.

For this reason, a man shall leave his mother and his father, to become one with his wife –and the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

After God created Adam, He created Eve and gave her to Adam – so that the two would become one and in so doing, produce offspring, children. There you have it, right from the beginning, God creates a family.

It’s easy to miss that. Family was God’s plan from the beginning and as it turns out, He has rather a lot to tell us about how a loving and effective family should live and behave and run as a family unit. That’s what we’re going to be talking about in these coming days and weeks on the program.

But not long after that, the family unit – the very first family unit – starts to come apart at the seams. They had two children – Cain and Abel – and out of jealousy one kills the other. So the moment sin entered the world, there you have it, the family unit is under attack.

When you’re gone, what sort of legacy are you going to leave behind on this earth? A good one, or… not so much? Well, let me tell you, much of the legacy that you leave behind will be through your family, your children, their children. Sure – not everybody goes on to have a family. But most of us do and for most of us, our legacy will be not just the DNA that we’ve passed on, but the values, the morals, the competencies, the faith and the love that we’ve passed on.

I’ll say it again – your family is under attack, under relentless bombardment. And in this war zone, in this battle – your family needs you. So – back to my earlier question – on a scale of 0 to 10, where are they in your list of priorities?

Your Family Struggles

I want to deal today with a delusion that many people live under. I want to blow it completely out of the water – and that delusion is the perfect family. Here’s how it goes.

As we live day by day with our own families, we rub up against the imperfections in each family member. Husbands and fathers, wives and mothers, children, grandparents, grandchildren, uncles, aunts, cousins – not a single one of them is perfect. And as much as some of those people may, to a greater or lesser extent be talented or gifted in certain areas, the reality is that they’ve also inherited many of the foibles and weaknesses, ineffective perspectives and attitudes of their parents.

And, worse still, they’ve probably developed a few bad habits of their own.

Put all of those people together into a closed ecosystem that we call “the family” – and from time to time, sparks are going to fly. Not everyone is going to get on with everyone else, not everyone is even going to like everyone else.

You’re getting my drift, right? You know exactly what I’m talking about here because there’s not a single person who hasn’t experienced this reality. It is the universal reality of every family. Every family has bits that are working well, and every family has some black sheep, some dysfunctional relationships, some clashes of personality.

Of course, there are different levels of dysfunctionality. Some families have things more or less together, others are a complete and shocking mess. I get that. But would you agree with me that there’s no such thing as the perfect family? Anywhere in the universe? Okay – so we agree on that.

So why is it that most of us have this ideal, perfect family thing in our heads that we compare our own families too – only to conclude, my lot are beyond help? Why is it that we believe the happy, smiling, stereotypical family thing that we see on television, in advertisements, in the sitcoms that we watch?

Why is it that we look at our friends’ families and think – wow, if only my husband were like hers, or if only my wife were more like his, or if ONLY our kids were as well behaved and as well adjusted and as respectful as their kids. And look how tidy their kids keep their rooms. Look at the mess my teenagers live in. Have you ever found yourself running those comparisons?

Sure you have! We all have!

Well, it’s a delusion. The perfect family is a mirage in the desert. There is no such animal on the planet, as a perfect family. And the reason we’re talking about this expectation of perfection is that it’s this very expectation – this false, unrealistic, impossible expectation – is what disempowers us from investing in our family.

We see the weaknesses and failures and imperfections of individuals. We see the conflicts. We see the dysfunctions. Every family has those to a greater or lesser degree, but we compare them to this false image of the perfect family – and we throw our hands up in despair and conclude – there’s nothing I can do here. They’re beyond help. I’m just going to have to put up with this mess!

Or worse still – and this is happening more and more – I’m opting out. I’ve had enough. That’s how divorces happen. That’s how children don’t speak to their parents for years on end. That’s how brothers and sisters grow up and drift apart – to the great detriment of their own children who now completely miss out on their cousins and aunties and uncles and grandparents.

Some people live in family-oriented cultures. Others, like me – are immersed in individualistic cultures. Many of those who live in family-oriented cultures have no idea – NONE – of how truly blessed they are in their extended families. Cousins growing up together. A neutral aunty or uncle who can step into a conflict that is simply too hot to handle for parents. The gentle wisdom and guidance of grandparents. Those things are the most incredible blessing.

And yet many other families, children, miss out on that blessing, because we’ve decided – hope! They’re a pain in the neck my family. I’m not going to have anything to do with them. HELLO!

Can you please do me a favour? In fact, no – more than that – can you please do yourself a HUUUUGE favour? Ditch this delusion that out there somewhere there is some perfect family. Come on. Just forget it. It’s complete nonsense. NO – your family is not the only family with issues and problems and clashes. NO – your family is not the worst family on the street! NO – your family is not so hopeless and worthless that you should give up on them.

Come on – they’re your family. They’re the only ones that you have – they’re your flesh and blood and they’re worth investing in. And the moment we ditch this ridiculous “my family is the worst family in the world” idea – all of a sudden opportunities open up for us to invest in family, and reap the rewards.

Your family is a special gift from God. Your family is the most precious collection of people on this planet. And if you write them off now, you are trashing one of the greatest blessings that you will ever, ever receive on this earth. YOUR FAMILY. The only one you’ll ever have.

So, let’s get real. Of course, they’re imperfect. Of course, they won’t always see eye to eye. And of course – the more of your extended family that you connect with and invest in and relate to and have meals with… in a sense, the more problems, clashes and dysfunctions you’re going to run into. Uncle so and so, who has a drinking problem. Aunty so and so, who’s as insecure and bitchy a person as you’ve ever met. That 16-year-old nephew who is the rudest child you have ever encountered.

But think of the opportunities for you to invest in their lives. To be there for them. To reap the reward of family relationships. To laugh with and cry with and celebrate with and mourn with. That’s what families do. That’s what families were always meant to do.

And they were never ever going to be perfect. Ever.

Let’s come back to that very first family in all of history. Adam, Eve, Cain and Abel. Adam and Eve had a perfect life until they did the one thing that God told them not to do – they ate the fruit of the one and only tree in the Garden of Eden that God told them not to.

And so the first family let the curse of sin enter into this world – something that you and I are still living out today. God kicked them out of the Garden to fend for themselves and life became immeasurably harder. They experienced for the first time pain and hardship. And they brought two boys into the world who grew up and jealousy arose between the two:

Cain said to his brother Abel, Let us go out to the field. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. (Gen 4:8)

Right there in the first family, there was dysfunction. Huge dysfunction – I’m hoping that we never see that sort of dysfunction in our families. I hope we never see that sort of a clash and it’s tragic consequences in our lives.

But there you have it. You and I live in a world where sin has entered. And just as we have sin and shortcomings in us, so our other family members have sin and shortcomings – albeit different ones to our own – in them. Just as they rub us the wrong way sometimes, we rub them the wrong way sometimes. That’s the way it is.

Once we grow up, and mature, and accept that reality – my friend your family can be such an incredible blessing to you. And, more to the point – you can be such an incredible blessing to your family.

Your Family Means Safety

I must confess, I’m a land lover. I don’t like being out on the open ocean – particularly not in some small boat that gets tossed around by the wind and the waves. When the storms are blowing, when the waves are crashing over the hull of a ship – well, there is nothing more scary than that.

There is nothing quite so frightening as an angry ocean. But in a very real sense, we live our lives out on that ocean. Think about it – we’re born as a helpless child – completely helpless. We can’t walk, we can’t communicate, we can’t feed ourselves… hey, a newborn baby doesn’t even have very good eyesight. The human child, when it’s born, is completely defenceless, and completely reliant on its parents.

That’s where you and I started our life’s journey. And then God put us into a family. Now… I know… some people are orphaned. Some people have terrible parents. But for the most part, most of us end up in a family. Not a perfect family. But… a family nevertheless. Now, let’s just stop and think about the rationale behind that.

We start out as a defenceless, helpless little person – and at the end of our childhood when we pass into adulthood, we’re supposed to be healthy, educated, balanced young men or women, capable of contributing to society, capable of earning a living, capable of finding a soul mate and… capable of bringing a defenceless, helpless little person into this world and starting the whole cycle of life again. Not sure if you’ve ever thought of it in those terms, but that’s the plan.

And the whole point of it is that our family is a place of safety and protection, a place of nurture and education, and a place where we learn to love and to relate to other people. It’s almost like a cocoon – you know when a caterpillar goes into a cocoon and it goes through the process of metamorphosis and it comes out the other end, incredibly, as a butterfly. As the cocoon is to the caterpillar, so the family is to the helpless little person. A place of protection, and a place of transformation.

But… some father’s are too busy to be fathers. Mothers, more and more, are also in the workforce now. Children coming home to empty houses – with internet connections that give them unfettered access to the world – in all its beauty and in all its marred, ugly, dangerous manifestations.

Mothers and fathers, this message is for you. You are the very fabric of that cocoon. You are the protection, you are the nurture, you are the one who – whether you realise it or not – has by far the greatest role in transforming your helpless babe, into that beautiful butterfly that emerges at the end of the metamorphosis.

The Bible talks a lot about family. Because as we’ve seen – family is God’s plan. Family is part of God’s amazing design for this world. And your family – the very one you’ve been born into and the very one that perhaps you’ve brought your own children into – is designed to be a place of safety, protection, nurture and transformation.

THE most important thing is NOT that our children should have designer label clothes, the latest smartphone, and all the entertainment and sporting and music options that they desire. THE most important thing is NOT that our house be the best on the street or that our car be the one that our little heart desires. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING – is that our children are loved and nurtured. Have a listen to this piece of wisdom for your family from God:

Better is a dinner of vegetables where love is than a fatted ox and hatred with it. (Prov 15:17)

It’s better for our family and our children to have less, with love, than to have more without it. It’s more important for our children to know that they are loved through what we do with them than what we buy for them. Those who have ears should listen. Parents, grandparents… listen to God’s Word today. You have a job to do – a job given to you by God. Please don’t abdicate. Your children’s lives depend on you.

Love isn’t just a noun. It’s not just something that we have or don’t have. Love is also a verb. It’s a doing word. And the doing part of love, involves sacrifice. It involves sowing seeds that will result in an eternal harvest.

Planting Seeds Today

The farmer who expects a harvest without planting any seeds in the field. Now I’m no farmer; I’m not even a particularly good gardener, but I’m smart enough to know that unless the guy plants some seed, he’s not going to see any sort of harvest. In fact the only thing he’ll see is an empty field full of dust or mud depending on how much rain he has had.

He may be dejected, he may be upset that there’s no harvest. But what does he expect? He didn’t plant any seed. Pretty obvious – and yet all too often we live our lives on the very same, equally ridiculous basis. We wonder why our relationships aren’t producing a harvest.

We want our relationships to be rich and fruitful. We want them to be rewarding. We want relationships to be fun, as well as being strong and supportive. But all those desirable attributes of relationships don’t just happen. They take investment. They take effort. And if your relationships aren’t all that you want them to be – then maybe, just maybe it’s time to plant a seed.

This is the last message in a series that I’ve called, "Living a Life That Leaves a Lasting Legacy of Love". Bit of a mouthful but I guess you get the point. We all want to leave something good behind. We all want to leave a legacy of love in the lives of our children and their children. In the lives of our friends, even our work colleagues and our acquaintances.

I hope that when I’m gone, some of the many people who have, over the years listened to these radio programs, will have a much better life, because I did what I did. I hope my children carry forward values that I imparted to them – decency, integrity, kindness – and hand them on to their friends, and their children.

We all hope those sort of things and yet, all too often, we don’t build and nurture the sorts of relationships that allow that to happen. When you think about it, by and large, we only really allow ourselves to be influenced deep down inside by people we respect and trust. If we don’t trust them, why would we listen to them? If we don’t respect them, why would we take on any of their values or ideas? It makes sense.

I want you to think right now about a relationship that’s important to you, but it isn’t quite what you want it to be. This is a relationship that really, really matters … and yet, it’s not as healthy as it should be. Do you have that person’s face pictured in front of you at the moment?

Now, what do you do with that relationship?

One of the options is to run away. That’s a distinct possibility if the relationship is causing you pain, or if you’re just not quite up to working on it just at the moment. Sometimes, what we want to do is give up because the circumstances are against us. I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I want to share with you a story of a man who wanted to run away from something, from a situation – but instead he stayed amidst his difficult circumstances and did something very, very important. Have a listen to this story:

Now there was a famine in the land, besides the former famine that had occurred in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went to Gerar, to King Abimelech of the Philistines. The Lord appeared to Isaac and said, ‘Do not go down to Egypt; settle in the land that I shall show you. Reside in this land as an alien, and I will be with you, and will bless you; for to you and to your descendants I will give all these lands, and I will fulfil the oath that I swore to your father Abraham. I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, and will give to your offspring all these lands; and all the nations of the earth shall gain blessing for themselves through your offspring, 5 because Abraham obeyed my voice and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws.’

So Isaac settled in Gerar. When the men of the place asked him about his wife, he said, ‘She is my sister’; for he was afraid to say, ‘My wife’, thinking, or else the men of the place might kill me for the sake of Rebekah, because she is attractive in appearance. When Isaac had been there a long time, King Abimelech of the Philistines looked out of a window and saw him fondling his wife Rebekah. So Abimelech called for Isaac, and said, ‘So she is your wife! Why then did you say, She is my sister?’ Isaac said to him, ‘Because I thought I might die because of her.’ Abimelech said, ‘What is this you have done to us? One of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.’ So Abimelech warned all the people, saying, ‘Whoever touches this man or his wife shall be put to death’.

Isaac sowed seed in that land, and in the same year he reaped a hundredfold. (Genesis 26:1–12)

I shared that story because it has three very important lessons in it about planting seeds. The first one is about the famine – adversity. Our natural reaction is inevitably to run away, to withdraw. When a relationship is going through a difficult time, one of the things that we so often want to do is to crawl into a cave and hide from it. Anything just to get away. The last thing we think of doing is being proactive and planting a seed. Think about that difficult relationship I asked you to picture earlier – what have your thoughts been about it over the past week. Have you been thinking about how you can get out of the situation, or how you can make it better? Which one have you been focusing on.

The second lesson is that Isaac, like his father Abraham, was far from perfect. He repeated his father’s mistake by lying about his wife and putting her into danger. Sometimes, we think we have to be perfect to sort things out. Well, it’s just not true – you and I will never be perfect and if we wait until we are to work on a relationship then we will never get around to it.

And the third lesson is the lesson about planting seed in the middle of the famine. The most counter intuitive thing you can possibly do. Isaac sowed seed in that land and in the same year reaped a hundredfold.

If you want to improve a difficult relationship then be prepared to plant seed in the middle of the famine, to plant a seed in the time of adversity, because chances are, you’ll reap a hundredfold in return. What does it look like to sow seed into a relationship?

Let’s imagine that your relationship is with a teenaged son – he’s causing you all sorts of grief and you just don’t know what to do. He listens to all this weird music; he’s into all these things that don’t make sense to you.

How do you sow seed into his life, to produce a hundredfold harvest? Well, it’s time to get interested in the stuff that he’s interested in. Ask to listen to some of his music, show interest, ask him who the band is, what they’re singing about, why he likes their music.

Maybe he’s into Facebook and you’re a complete novice – so ask him to show you how to setup an account and how to use it. Or maybe he’s done really well at something and its time for you to celebrate with him.

Entering into his space, listening to him, getting interested in the things that he’s interested in … and that’s just the beginning. Each one of those is like planting a seed. There’s a famine – the relationship is difficult. It’s a seed that says you care. It’s a seed that says I love you and I accept you just the way you are. And my friend this is a seed that will reap a harvest of a hundredfold; it’s a seed that will deliver a harvest.

If we want to leave behind a lasting legacy of love then we need to deal with those difficult relationships – proactively, positively, on the front foot. And that means, quite simply, being prepared to plant seeds into good soil – the sort of soil that’s ready to accept them – even during times of adversity. Especially during those difficult times.

Because that’s the sort of seed that’s going to deliver the sort of harvest that we’re looking for – a lasting legacy of love. Otherwise, we’re just like that crazy farmer who expected a harvest, without planting any seeds.

Choosing Your Investments Wisely

Don’t worry, I’m going to give you just a little bit more time to consider your investment options. Over the last couple of weeks, we’ve been chatting about living the sort of life that is going to leave behind a lasting legacy of love. Because as our lives here on this earth draw to an inevitable conclusion, what we leave behind for those for whom we really care starts to matter more and more to us.

The important things start getting really important, the shorter that our time on this planet becomes. Problem is, it’s right now that we need to be doing the sorts of things, planting the sorts of seeds that are in fact going to leave behind that legacy of love – it’s no good leaving it until it’s too late.

So that’s what we are talking about in this series – what we need to do now, what seeds we need to plant now, who we need to invest in now – so that when our days on this earth draw to a close, we will really be at a place where we know that we’re leaving behind that legacy of love.

Now – how are you going on your investment questions? Still struggling with them? Well here they are again.

You have $100,000 to invest and three choices. Option 1 – put it in an interest bearing deposit with a bank. Option 2 – invest it in a blue chip stock that’s been performing handsomely over the past 3 years. Option 3 – invest it in a company that looks like it’s about to go under. Which one will you choose?

Now if we were talking about a real $100,000 the answer is actually pretty obvious. You’d pick between the bank account and the blue chip stock, depending on the degree to which you’re a risk taker. In fact, probably what I would do, is I’d split 40% each to the bank deposit and the blue chip stock, and I’d take 20% and buy a CFD or a Contract for Difference – that’s a stock market device which allows me to win if the stock of a company falls and put that on the struggling company.

But now let’s take that same investment question and look at the relationships that you’re going to invest in between now and when you die. Let’s draw a relationships analogy. Let’s say that with the time and effort that you have to invest in relationships you can choose between (1) A rock solid relationship, (2) A slightly higher risk relationship but one that offers greater returns, or (3) A struggling relationship that looks like it’s going to fail.

Now, which one of those are you going to invest in? I know what you’re thinking – right now, no doubt what’s going through your mind us – hang on a minute, the criteria I applied to the financial investment quiz don’t apply to relationships. And if that’s what you're thinking … you’re absolutely right.

Because if the struggling relationship that’s about to fail happens to be your marriage, or a relationship with a difficult child – there’s every chance that you’re torn – on the one hand, you want to throw everything into those relationships, on the other, you want to run a million miles from them because they’re tough and they’re hurting, they’re demanding and the toll on you is huge.

Some people make the decision to pull the plug on their marriage – and invest in a more pleasant relationship – an affair perhaps. Others will go down with the ship fighting to the last to save a marriage or a child. Because the main criterion in choosing the relationships we invest in is not the return, it’s how important those people are to us.

There is not a single person on this earth who is more important to me than my beautiful wife. I love her dearly – and if I had to, if she needed me to, I would abandon every other relationship, in order to save her.

So, why are we talking about this stuff? What’s the point of these tough questions – simply this. The sad truth is that a good percentage of people are so busy, or tired, or jaded that they don’t invest in any relationships. It’s like taking their $100,000 and stuffing it under the mattress.

Some people never make the decision to invest in any relationships, or when they do, they do it half heartedly, and they go for the return that they get out of it, rather than how important that person is, or should be, to them. If you and I want to leave behind a lasting legacy of love then we need to invest in relationships – we need to be deliberate about choosing the relationships we invest in – and like any investment portfolio, there is going to be a spread of different types, with different risk/return profiles.

A man whose marriage is struggling should throw all of his emotional energies into investing in his marriage. I remember hearing a man speak once, and he told of the last time he sat and talked with his grandfather in hospital before he passed away. He said Grandpa, "What’s the one thing that you're most proud of in your life?"

The Grandfather got a tear in his eye, and he answered, "Oh, that’s simple. Growing old with the mother of my children." That’s a powerful answer, wouldn’t you agree. To any man or woman whose marriage is struggling, I want to implore you to invest all that you have in that company that looks like it’s about to go under.

It may be that you save your marriage, it may be that you don’t, but I guarantee you that in the long run, whichever way it turns out, you won’t regret having given it all that you have.

I want to encourage you too, to invest in a handful of good friends. Some will give you more than you give them, others it will be the other way around. But friends are invaluable. Choose them wisely.

I also want to encourage you to invest in some people who have nothing to give you, but who desperately need the help and love and care and concern of someone like you.

And finally, please … please … invest in some young people, at home, at work, in your local community group and become their mentor. Hand on your wisdom and skills – as you pull alongside them and make them much greater and much better than they could ever have been without you. If you want to leave a legacy of love that lasts well beyond you, that ripples out from you and down through the generations, then what you need to do now, is get your relationships investment portfolio going.

Jesus is a great example of this. He had thousands – thousands of disciples who followed him around. Often when you read about the Disciples in the Gospel accounts, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, the writer is talking about this wider group.

But Jesus, out of all of those, selected only 12. Mostly uneducated bumpkins. Fishermen. Tax collectors. Not the educational elite from Jerusalem, but the flotsam and jetsam from the slums of Galilee.

Simon (whom he named Peter); James son of Zebedee and John the brother of James; Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

Those guys, when you read about them, so often got things wrong. They made a hash of things. They argued. Judas stole from the money that they all had. They tried to out do each other. He chose imperfect people and he built close relationships with them – and on their shoulders stands His Church around the world today.

From the investment that Jesus made in those 12, has grown a massive, global church. Jesus’ investment in his relationships with those men has left the most amazing legacy of love that has rippled down throughout the ages.

He was so often frustrated with them. They so often fell short of his expectations, and yet his 12-fold relationship investment portfolio has returned more than anyone could ever have imagined.

An Eternal Harvest

The whole point of sowing seeds is that eventually the yield a harvest. That’s what we know, and that’s precisely what Jesus taught in the parable of the sower. It may be quite a familiar parable to you, but have a listen to it again:

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. And he told them many things in parables, saying: Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. But when the sun rose, they were scorched; and since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. Let anyone with ears listen! (John 13:1–9)

Now the part of that parable that you normally hear people focussing on is the bit about where the seeds fell and what that means. That’s fine. When the Disciples asked Jesus to explain this parable to them, that’s what He told them about.

But I particularly want to focus on the harvest bit at the end. And how the harvest is achieved. Here it is again. Verse 8:

Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

But where did the harvest come from? It came from those people in whom the seed – which, as Jesus later explains to His disciples is the Word of God – fell in good soil and took root and brought forth the grain.

The return on one seed is massive – one seed in such a person yields a hundred, or maybe sixty or at the very least thirty more grains. How does that happen? Well, it’s as natural as a farmer sowing wheat. When the Word of God takes root in our hearts, it produces an abundant harvest.

Here’s what I all too often observe. Well meaning Christians who think that impacting people’s lives is all about working hard. Now to be sure, it involves hard work – and, as we’ve seen sacrifice a lot of the time. But that work and sacrifice flow out of us naturally, willingly, joyfully when they come through the Word of God, which, through the Holy Spirit, has taken root in our hearts.

Think about it, the farmer may well sow, weed, fertilise, but who gives the growth? Who turns that one seed into a wheat stalk into a 100 grains – not the farmer! God does. And so it is with us. The more of God’s Word that we get into us, the more He transforms our lives through His Spirit and his Word – the more grain we are going to produce. The more of a harvest we are going to see – because it’s His harvest, not ours.

And only God, by His Spirit and His Word, can produce an abundant, eternal harvest. Only God can win souls and transform lives through you. Your role, my role is to be close to Him, with the Word of God dwelling richly in us. Our role is to be one of His vessels, pure and clean and holy as we can be, ready to be about His business of winning souls and transforming lives. And the time for that to start is … not next week, or next month or next year my friend. The time for that to start is now. Here … and now. That’s exactly what Jesus said:

Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. (John 4:35)

I want to encourage you today to live a life that is so close to Jesus, a life that is so transformed by Jesus, so full of His radically sacrificial, unconditional love. The sort of love that is prepared to lay down its life for others. This Jesus who laid down His life for you, my friend, if you put your trust in Him, if you put your life in His hands, he’s calling you to lay down your life for others.

God means to use you just the way you are, just the imperfect way you are, to sow the seeds that are going to make an eternal difference. With all my heart this is what I know; that’s what it means to live the sort of life that is going to leave a lasting legacy of love.

So as we come to the close of this series, let me ask you this. What are you going to do to change your life so that your life leaves a hundredfold harvest?

What are you going to do to change your life so that when you’re gone at least 100 people will have their lives touched and transformed by the love and the spirit and the word and grace and the mercy of God simply because they knew you? That’s the plan God has for your life. It’s a plan to produce an abundant harvest.

There are basically two types of love in this world. Conditional love and unconditional love. One belongs to the world. It’s a shallow imposter. The other one belongs to God. It’s the real thing.

Love is a Radical Thing

Marilyn Monroe once said:

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you certainly don't deserve me at my best.

That’s a cheery thought isn’t it? But it makes an important point. People who are perfect are easy to love aren’t they? They never make mistakes. They never fall short of our expectations. They never disappoint us, or hurt us, or ignore us.

Yep – those people are soooo easy to love. Have you ever found one? A perfect person that is … No, me neither. Of course we know that there aren’t any perfect people walking on this planet. We kind of know that in our heads, but that doesn’t stop us from expecting perfection when we go looking for love. And I’m not just talking boy–girl, husband–wife type of love.

Friendship is a form of love. Being a parent involves loving. In fact, in a sense, we can interact with work colleagues, associates, acquaintances – either in love, or not. With compassion, or not. With kindness, or not. You understand what I’m saying, right?

My dictionary tells me that love is a strong feeling of affection and even attraction. That can be true. Well, it is true … at least in part. At least some of the time. But that dictionary definition falls a long way short of what love really is. That romantic sort of love is easy to have when the person we’re loving is perfect – and lets face it, everybody can be perfect in short bursts.

But anybody who’s ever been married will tell you that their life–long soul mate is far from perfect, lots of the time. Anybody who’s ever been a parent will tell you that their children are far from perfect. So, what is love; what’s the definition when people and situations and circumstances and relationships are imperfect – which, let’s face it, they are, most of the time? What does it mean to love someone then, huh?

Jesus once said this:

No greater love has any man than to lay down his life for his friends.

If we stop and think about it, that’s absolutely true. Because in an imperfect world, loving imperfect people, love is all about sacrifice. In fact, I’d like to propose an entirely different definition of love: Love is the decision we make to unconditionally, care for, support and honour someone. On their good days and their bad days.

And the fruit of that love is that it develops a relationship that becomes rich and satisfying. In other words, the feelings follow along behind the decision to radically sacrifice ourselves to another person. To put up with their failures. To help them when they’re acting badly, rather than criticise them. To give them the space to make mistakes and still be there for them when they come to their senses.

Often times, love is a radical sacrifice that hurts. And when we choose to live out that radical sacrifice, relationships develop that last a lifetime. How’s that for a definition of love? Radical, sacrificial, unconditional love. What would our world look like, if everybody adopted that definition of love, instead of that trite, superficial, inch deep dictionary definition – a strong feeling of affection?

Affection is the reward of love; the feeling is the result of love. Love – as you may have heard me say before – isn’t just a noun. It’s not simply something that we have or don’t have. It is also a verb. A doing word. Love is something that we are meant to do. And the doing part of love, is sacrifice.

We each would like to think that we would live behind a legacy of love – that when we’re gone, our children, our grandchildren, our friends and wider family – all the people we’ve come into contact with, well be better off, for having known us. It’s pretty natural to want that. But let me tell you, there can be no lasting legacy of love that our lives leave behind, unless we’re living out the right definition of love.

And that definition is that love is a decision to make radical sacrifices for other people. And radical sacrifices always, always cost us something. True greatness isn’t about what we achieve. True greatness is about what we leave behind in the hearts of those whom we’ve served. Again, that’s exactly what Jesus said:

The greatest among you will be the servant of all. (Matthew 23:11)

Can I ask you this – what definition of love are you living out? That shallow dictionary definition or the real definition, the true definition – radical sacrifice?

The most beautiful, the most sublime definition of love that I have ever read comes, of course, from the Bible. 1 Corinthians 13. I’ve often heard it read and spoken about at weddings in a lovey-dovey, fluffy kind of way. Have a listen – tell me whether you thing that it’s lovey-dovey, and all fluffy and soft:

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

It seems to me that every part of that description is an explanation of the sacrifice involved in loving. Patience – that’s a sacrifice. Kindness – that’s a sacrifice. Not being envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. Not insisting on your own way. Not being irritable or resentful. Bearing all things, enduring all things. They’re all about sacrifice – a sacrifice that never ends. There’s nothing lovey-dovey or fluffy about any of that. It’s all about sacrifice. The sort of love that God is calling you and me to, is the sort that involves radical sacrifice. The sort that the Apostle Paul writes about in Romans 5:8:

But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.

My friend anyone who wants to live a life that leaves behind a lasting legacy of love – they need to be living that sort of life. That sort of love. It’s as simple … as that.

Two Types of Love

When we’re flat out, busy with the hectic lives we lead, leaving a lasting legacy of love isn’t always in the front of our minds is it? But … ask anyone who has a lot of time on their hands. Some one who’s retired maybe, or living on their own. And one of the things that’s at the top of their list is the significance of their life. What impact have I had? Are people better off for having known me? What legacy will I leave behind when I’m gone? They ponder those questions perhaps more than any others.

Funny how our perspective changes as we get older. The less time we have left on the planet, the more the important things really matter. Problem is, when you’re older, isn’t necessarily the best time to start thinking about these things, right? Because by then, many of the opportunities to have a positive impact, to leave a lasting legacy of love, will already have passed us by. And then what?

That’s why we’re chatting about this stuff. Because the life we’re living now, today and tomorrow, and next week, next month and next year – is the very life that’s going to determine the legacy that you and I are going to leave behind. And one of the strongest indicators of how good (or not), how powerful (or not) and how long-lasting (or not) that legacy is going to be, is the sort of love that we give to other people.

As I said at the top of the program – there are really only two types of love – conditional love, and unconditional love. Now, giving unconditional love is hard work. It involves sacrifice, it involves time and effort … so you have to ask yourself, is it really worth it? Well, to answer that question the best thing, I think, is to look at conditional love first.

Conditional love, quite simply, is love with strings attached. We place conditions on the party whom we are going to love. I will love you if … you do this and you don’t do that. Provided that you will hold to your end of that bargain I will love you. But if you don’t, I won’t.

Now, on the surface that sounds just a bit reasonable. After all, if the other person is difficult, if the other person is a pain in the neck, if the other person isn’t playing the game – why would you love them. Cut ‘em off. Be done with them. Move on. And of course that’s what many people do. That’s what divorce is about. In fact the more you think about it, the less you want to be on the receiving end of conditional love. Am I right?

And the reason for that is that we know we’re not perfect. Our weaknesses sometimes give us a distorted perspective on reality, and so we can be overly touchy about this or that. We need people to love us who are prepared to love us despite our weaknesses, despite the fact that we fail them sometimes, despite the fact that we won’t always meet up to their expectations of us.

If we can’t find people like that, we are not going to be secure in who we are and where we belong. And yet all too often the love that we ourselves crave is not the love that we dish out to others. How often have you allowed another person’s weaknesses or failures to cause you to withdraw your love, your friendship, your support from them.

Well! Well – if that’s how you’re going to be, then ….

We’ve all done that haven’t we? We may not say it out loud, but we certainly think it and we certainly do it. It’s like pulling the rug out from someone else’s feet. They were relying on your love and support and all of a sudden you pull it out from underneath them – and they fall flat on their face.

There was a time in my life when I was difficult to love. I’d gone through a rough patch, a few people, one in particular, who should have been there to love me unconditionally, failed me and withdrew their love and support. At that time, some friends came out of the woodwork – people to whom I had never been particularly nice – and they loved me unconditionally. They gave me somewhere to live. They wept with me. They held me. They encouraged me. This was truly, unconditional love.

Those people – if they’re listening to this today – know exactly who they are. Those people have left a lasting legacy of love in my heart. They have shaped who I am. Each time you benefit from something I say, you’re actually benefiting from what they did for me. It’s a legacy that’s rippled out to countless more people? Why? Because the most precious love of all is the love that we don’t earn or deserve. That’s the sort of love that will cause your life to leave a lasting legacy of love. Unconditional … love.

The very sort of love that God gives to anybody who believes in Jesus His Son. Back in the OT, the agreement between God and His people was conditional – I will bless you, said God, if you keep my commandments, but if you don’t, I will punish you. Hmmm. Israel copped a lot of punishment, because somehow they couldn’t obey God’s commandments. Sound like anybody you know?

You can read the contract, or the covenant if you will, in Leviticus Chapter 26. It’s worth reading. Of course the Lord our God always knew it wasn’t going to work. So … eventually He sent Jesus, His Son, to die on that cross to pay for our sins.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8,9)

And the reason that God’s love towards you and me is so precious is that it costs us nothing, but it cost Him everything – the life of His Precious Son, Jesus. In Christ, God’s love is completely unconditional in every way – no matter what I do, no matter how badly I fail, I can always be forgiven, I am always forgiven – because my trust is completely in what Jesus did for me. And the same, the very same is true for you, if your trust is completely in what Jesus did for you.

My friend, if you would leave behind a lasting legacy of love, then the sort of love that you need to give today, is the very same love that you have already been given through Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Unconditional love.

Putting Your Life on the Line

So, if you had to, would you be prepared to put your life on the line for the people you love? Pretty tough question isn’t it?

I want to share a story with you today – an historical story that comes from the nation of Israel – about a young woman called Esther. She was a young Jewish woman who lived in the 3^rd or 4^th century BC. As has been the case for most of their history, the Israelites were captive and subservient to a foreign King, Ahasuerus, who ruled over 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia. He and his wife had a falling out, so – as was the custom – he sent out his servants to gather all the beautiful young maidens in the land for him to choose another wife.

As a result of this process, young Esther becomes Queen. Unbeknown to the King, she is of course, a Hebrew, of the nation of Israel. Nevertheless, once she is Queen, she is queen. Not long after, her uncle Mordecai – who had raised her – discovers that one of the king’s top advisors, Haman, has decided to destroy all the Jews in the kingdom – quite simply to put them to death. Haman said to the King: (Esther 3:8–11)

‘There is a certain people scattered and separated among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom; their laws are different from those of every other people, and they do not keep the kings laws, so that it is not appropriate for the king to tolerate them. If it pleases the king, let a decree be issued for their destruction, and I will pay ten thousand talents of silver into the hands of those who have charge of the king's business, so that they may put it into the kings treasuries.’ So the king took his signet ring from his hand and gave it to Haman, the enemy of the Jews. The king said to Haman, ‘The money is given to you, and the people as well, to do with them as it seems good to you.’

Hmmm. What to do? So Uncle Mordecai sends a message to his niece Queen Esther to go in to the King and get him to change his mind. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Esther sends this message back to Mordecai:

‘All the kings servants and the people of the kings provinces know that if any man or woman goes to the king inside the inner court without being called, there is but one law—all alike are to be put to death. Only if the king holds out the golden sceptre to someone, may that person live. I myself have not been called to come in to the king for thirty days.’ When they told Mordecai what Esther had said, Mordecai’s answer came back to her swiftly:

‘Do not think that in the king's palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father's family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.’

Of course what he said made a lot of sense, but think of the absolute dilemma that this young woman faced. Would she put her life on the line? Would she go in to the king? And when she did, would she find his favour, or would she come to an untimely death? She showed such great courage and decided to go in to the king who held up his sceptre. Se won his favour, she wooed him and he changed his mind. He rescinded his order of genocide. And ultimately Haman, the man who plotted the demise of the Jews, was put to death.

Now there’s probably very little chance that you or I will ever be asked to literally, physically put our lives on the line for others in quite the same way as Esther did. And yet each and every day, opportunities abound for us to lay down our lives for others.

For our children when they make some terrible mistakes in life. Four our wives or husbands, as they fall short of our expectations. For our work colleagues. For our community. In fact as you think about it – opportunities literally abound for us to lay down our lives. We live in a world that’s used to instant gratification and disposable just about everything. And all too many of us, when we don’t get that instant gratification, want to dispose of the relationship. Hmm. So, let me ask you again – would you lay down your life for your friends, for your family, for those whom you love?

Will you give them the sort of sacrificial love that you would want if you were in their shoes … or not? Tough questions I know, but they’re exactly the questions we need to be asking ourselves if we want to live the sort of life that leaves a legacy of love. This is what Jesus had to say about laying down his life for his friends:

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away—and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. … For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again. I have received this command from my Father. (John 10:11-18)

The price God paid for you and me is totally mind-blowing – the life of His precious Son so that we might have eternal life in His Presence. It just boggles my mind. And that’s what makes God’s grace and His love so powerful. It’s unconditional and it came at a price and even God Himself didn’t shrink from laying down His life for us.

My prayer is that as you contemplate that sort of love – the love He has for you, the price He was prepared to pay for you … that that might take you to a place where you can honestly evaluate, re–evaluate the love that you show to others around you; to the people who really matter; to the people in whose lives, when all is said and done, you would like to leave a lasting legacy of love.

In life, there are no rehearsals. There are only performances. We get one crack at this life and if we want to achieve something, if we want to live the sort of life that leaves a lasting legacy of love – then we need to live life on purpose and live it in the power of God.

Beginning with the End in Mind

I want to share something with you today that changed my life. It was the turning point for me from a life of complete selfishness and self-indulgence to a life of doing the best I can with who I am and what I have to serve other people. When I read this short passage that I’m about to share with you, my whole world caved in because I knew ... I knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that my life was on the wrong course. You may have heard of the book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey. It’s been a bestseller for many years. I read it back in the early to mid-1990s, at a time when I was on a self-improvement venture, and it was habit number two in that book that brought me unstuck. Have a listen to what Covey writes:

In your mind’s eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlour or the chapel, parking the car and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers and the soft organ-music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down the front of the room, and you look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral three years from today. All these people have come to honour you; to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life.

As you take a seat and wait for the service to begin, you look at the programme in your hand. There are to be four speakers: The first one is from your family, immediate and also extended – children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, who’ve come from all over the country to attend your funeral. The second speaker is one of your friends – someone who can give a sense of who you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession, and the fourth speaker is from your church or some community organisation where you’ve been involved in serving.

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about your life? What kind of husband, father, mother, would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of work associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements, would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

Covey goes on to make this point:

The end of your life is, in fact, the best frame of reference (or criterion) by which everything else should be examined. By keeping that end clearly in mind, you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day doesn’t violate the criteria that you’ve defined as supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way to the vision that you have for your life as a whole. To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination.

When I read those words for the first time, a couple of decades ago, I wept. I wept for a few days actually because I realised that my whole life, focused as it was on myself, was going to amount to nothing. I realised that the people at my funeral would not be able to say the things about me that I’d really wanted them to have said.

I was in my mid thirties at the time, outwardly successful but at this turning-point in my life, I realised that all the things I’d been doing up to this point simply hadn’t contributed to the outcomes that (in my heart of hearts) I truly wanted, and the outcome that matters at the end is to have lived a life that will leave a lasting legacy of love, and I simply wasn’t doing the things that would have achieved that outcome. I imagined people would struggle to say anything good about me – not because I’d wasted my life; I wasn’t a failure; I was a success, but because the things I’d been doing day after day hadn’t been speaking love and showing love into the lives of others.

That one realisation, as devastating as it was, was the starting-point for a completely changed life – not a perfect life by any means, but a complete change of focus, a complete change of direction; a decision to turn my life around and focus on doing things for others, and in so doing, discover the fulfilment and contentment that thus far had completely escaped me.

Some of you are thinking, "Berni, how could you have completely missed out on the most important things?" and my answer would be because I, like so many people on this planet, had swallowed this lie that to be happy, you have to accumulate a lot of stuff. I was simply being successful, but at the wrong things: Things that at the funeral wouldn’t matter a toss.

Friend, as we chat today and over the coming weeks about living the sort of life that will leave a lasting legacy of love in the people around you, I want to ask you: Have you really decided what is truly, truly important in your life? Is it getting the next promotion at the place where you work, or making sure that your children are getting enough of your time? Is it buying that next trinket or bauble that you can’t afford, or being part of changing the people around you for good? When those people get up to speak at your funeral, will they be able to say the sorts of things that you’d really (in your heart of hearts) like them to be able to say, or will they be struggling to find something nice to say about you?

Maybe it’s time for you to sit down quietly on your own, over the next day or two, and write down the sorts of things that you would like those people to say at your funeral and then ask yourself, "Am I living that life, doing those things that will lead them to say the things I want them to say?" It’s kind of a gap analysis of what’s really important to you, versus how you’re actually living your life. Beginning with the end in mind, doing that exercise seriously, is in fact one of the most powerful things that you can ever do. I can honestly tell you it’s one of the two or three things I’ve done in my life that have brought around the greatest turnarounds that I’ve ever experienced. Beginning with the end in mind.

Now interestingly Steven Covy’s a Mormon, so his theology and my theology are miles apart. Man, that’s an understatement! But at the end of the last chapter of his book, which can (I guess) be categorised as a self-help book, in a section he calls ‘A Personal Note’ he says this:

I believe there are parts to the human nature that cannot be reached by either legislation or education, but require the power of God to deal with. I believe as human beings, we cannot perfect ourselves.

And my friend, as great as the other parts of the book are, this one sentence unlocked the door to change and transformation in my life. Over the coming months, it caused me to seek out a relationship with Jesus (the Son of God), who came that I might have life in all its abundance. Like Covey, I will freely admit that there are many things I still struggle with in life, but through each victory, through each negative emotion dealt-with, through each new act of service that I’ve learnt and am learning, I’ve discovered the truth of that one sentence that Covey wrote at the end of his book. Ultimately, we ourselves are powerless to change. Jesus said to His disciples (Acts 1:8):

You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and even unto the ends of the earth.

And with everything I am, as I speak to you today, I can tell you that without that power, the power of the Holy Spirit, who was given to me the moment I put my trust in Jesus, there would have been no change. No change at all. The power to change, the power to live the life we want to live, is only found in one place – in Jesus.

Being a Risk-Taker

Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve been discussing what it means to live a life that leaves behind a legacy of love, and on every level it seems to me that loving other people involves risk, and loving other people in a radical, powerful way involves radical risks. Mother Teresa is perhaps one of the most iconic figures of the twentieth century. There will be very few people on the planet who’ve never heard of her, and very few people who don’t know what she did.

She was a Catholic nun who opened missions in Calcutta (in India) to reach out and minister to the dying, amongst the poorest of the poor, most of whom belonged to the Dalit class, or (as in the west they’re known) the untouchables. From small beginnings, the Missionaries of Charity movement that she founded has now grown to over 4,500 sisters and is active in 133 countries round the world, running hospices and homes for people with HIV AIDS and leprosy and tuberculosis ... They run soup kitchens; children’s and family counselling programmes; orphanages; schools ... What she began was an amazing ministry of radical, unconditional love that since her death in 1997 has grown into an international legacy, that is touching the dying and the poorest of the poor around the globe.

But Mother Teresa wasn’t always Mother Teresa. She was born in 1910 as Anjezë Bojaxhiu in a place called Skopje, which is now the capital of the republic of Macedonia, but at the time, was part of the Ottoman Empire. Her father, a politician, died when she was just eight years old. She was always fascinated with stories of missionaries going to far-off lands, and by the age of twelve, she was convinced that she should commit her life to reaching, touching, and loving other people. She left home to join an order of nuns at the age of eighteen and from that moment on, she never saw her mother and sister again.

Some years later, on 10 September 1946, the now Sister Teresa (as she had been named) experienced what she would later describe as a call within a call. She was travelling to the Loreto Convent in Darjeeling from Calcutta, for her annual retreat. This is how she described it:

"I was to leave the convent and help the poor while living among them. It was like an order. To fail would have been to break the faith."

So she left the security of the convent to live amongst the poorest of the poor in Calcutta. She had no income; she was begging for food and for supplies on the street, but in her heart of hearts, she was convinced that she was to live among the poorest of the poor and reach out to their dying. She experienced doubt and loneliness, and the temptation to return to the comfort and security of convent life. She experienced trials and challenges, doubts and fears, doubts beyond measure; but day after day, as she lived amongst the dying, tended to their wounds, held them in her arms as they died, she was building something.

No doubt it didn’t feel like that, and I’m sure that if you had told her in those early days that one day she would win the Nobel Peace Prize and sit in the Oval Office chatting with the president of the United States, she’d never have believed you. If you had told her that the Indian government would issue a special 5-rupee coin (being the sum with which she arrived in India) to commemorate the hundredth anniversary of her birth in 2010, 13 years after she died. She would have been absolutely incredulous.

I tell you this story because people who are famous, people who are successful, well – all we seem to know about them is that they’re famous and successful. That’s all we see. We look at those people and think of them as overnight successes, not having seen the 20 years of blood and sweat and tears it took to get them there.

Let’s just think about this young girl from Macedonia. Her native tongue was Albanian. Think of the culture, the environment she grew up in. The gap between that environment and the slums of Calcutta is incalculable. Ok; she’s arrived in India under the care and security of a large organisation (the Catholic church) but she chose to step out of that, to become a beggar herself, in order to minister to the dying amongst the poorest of poor. The risk was enormous. She was by any measure, as a foreign young woman on her own in a country where she didn’t speak many of the languages spoken around her, well come on; she was doomed to fail. This was Risk with a capital R, but here’s the principle.

Here’s the reason that I’m sharing this with you: Because radical love requires radical risk, and that doesn’t necessarily mean leaving your home and travelling halfway round the world to a foreign land. Radical love may be required by a difficult teenager in your home; by your neighbours whose family’s being torn apart by infidelity and divorce; radical love may be required by your friend who has nowhere to live, or by someone in your community who can’t even put a meal on their table to feed their children, or by a woman going through depression or by a man struggling with alcoholism.

Loving those people involves risk. It involves becoming vulnerable because it means exposing ourselves. See, we love to wrap ourselves in safety and security; we love to wrap ourselves in comfort and convenience, but all that is blown away the moment we choose to love people who are difficult to love. And remember: Love isn’t just a noun; it’s not just something we have or don’t have. Love is a verb; it’s something we’re meant to do. Love is a doing word, and so if you or I are going to leave behind our own legacy; perhaps not as large, not as world-recognised as the legacy of Anjezë Bojaxhiu from Skopje, but our own legacy (in our own way, in our own place), then my friend, it is going to involve risk. It is going to involve discomfort and inconvenience.

The nice world we want to construct for ourselves, where everything’s arranged neatly so as to our needs and our wants, will be completely shattered. The bottom line is that the moment we decide to leave behind a lasting legacy of love, we start living a life of risk. That’s just the way it works. Jesus said (John 15:13):

No greater love has any man than to lay down his life for his friends.

And that is exactly what He did. He gave His life freely and willingly for you and me. He said (in John 10:17):

This is the reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life in order to take it up again. No one’s taking it away from Me, but I’m laying it down of my own accord. I have the power to lay it down, and I have the power to take it up again. I have received this command from My Father.

Jesus came to this earth to lay down His life for the dying, so that they might live. He came to this world not just for presidents and kings, but for the poorest amongst the poor – for ordinary people like you and me, to lay down His life so that whoever believes in Him, whoever believes that His death on the cross is full payment for their sin (the only way to be accepted by God), whoever believes that, would have a new life, and an eternal life. That’s radical love.

It involved radical risk and radical sacrifice. It involved losing everything, even His life, so that you and I might live forever. And yeah, it often feels like Anjezë Bojaxhiu of Skopje felt those first few years, while she was begging for food and resources on the streets of Calcutta: It’s often fraught with fears and doubts and pains and sufferings ... When we choose to love people with the love of Christ, radically and powerfully and sacrificially, in a way that will transform their lives, my friend, it is definitely going to cost us something.

So, are you someone who wants to leave behind your own lasting legacy of love? Are you? Then my question is this: What risks are you prepared to take? What are you prepared to lose? How much are you prepared to give away, in order that others may live?

The Power of God

When it comes to leaving a lasting legacy of love, there is perhaps no greater example of that (in fact, there is definitely no greater example of that) than what Jesus imparted to His disciples – the eleven who were left; the guys who went out to found the Christian church. The twelve that travelled with Jesus for three-and-a-half years, when He taught them; He showed them; He loved them ... Hey, these guys went to the best Bible-college ever, right? They spent time personally with Jesus. Of course, Judas fell by the wayside, and after the death and resurrection of Jesus, you’d think (wouldn’t you) that these eleven guys who were left would be ready to go and take on the world.

They’d had their training; Jesus is about to ascend to heaven again, and He’s left the whole future of the church (the body of Christ in the world, for all-time) in their hands. But just before He ascends, you’d imagine that Jesus would say something like, "Ok, boys, I have taught you everything I know. I’ve graded your final papers, and the eleven of you who are left now have your ministry diploma. Go for it! Go take on the world in My name", but that’s precisely the one thing He didn’t say. In fact, in a very real sense, He said quite the opposite. Acts 1:4-9:

Whilst staying with them, He ordered them not to leave Jerusalem, but to wait there for the promise of the Father. ‘This,’ He said, ‘Is what you have heard from Me, for John baptised with water, but you will be baptised with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.’

So when they had come together, they asked Him: ‘Lord, is this the time when You’ll restore the kingdom of Israel?

And He replied: ‘It’s not for you to know the times or the periods that the Father has set by His own authority, but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and even unto the ends of the earth.’ When He had said this, as they were watching, He was lifted up, and a cloud took Him out of their sight.

The very last thing He said to them was, "You need something more. Not just the training I’ve given you; you actually need something more. You need the power of the Holy Spirit if you guys are going to live lives that will leave a lasting legacy of love", and just as He promised, Jesus poured out His Holy Spirit on them. Acts 2:2-4:

And suddenly, from heaven, there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind. It filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them and a tongue rested on each one of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them the ability.

My friend, apart from Jesus, apart from the power of the Holy Spirit, you and I can do nothing, absolutely nothing, of eternal significance. And I know that there are some people listening today who’ve been labouring and labouring and labouring for God, and not getting anywhere and struggling, and wondering, "Why is this so hard? Why does it feel as though I’m doing it in my own strength?" I know that we’ve already prayed in the programme, but actually, right now, I feel that we need to pray again for you to be filled with the power – the power of the Holy Spirit.

Father God,

we know that we receive the Holy Spirit the moment we believe in Jesus, whom You sent for us. That’s Your promise, but we confess to You today that we don’t always give Your Spirit free rein in our lives. We struggle through things in our own strength; we go off and do things we want to do, not all of them honouring You. Well today, we ask for Your forgiveness and we repent. We turn away from the sin of self-sufficiency, and we confess to You that without You, we are powerless to serve; powerless to have an impact; powerless to leave a lasting legacy of love.

So, Lord Jesus, we ask You to fill us with this very same Spirit – this very same power. Fill us to overflowing. Drench us. Baptise us with the fullness of Your Holy Spirit so that rivers, rivers of living water, will run out from our hearts and our bellies, and bring life to the dying world around us. Jesus, we ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit, in Your precious name.

Amen.

My friend, if you prayed that prayer with me, from this moment on, believe you me, you are filled with power from on high: Power to be holy; power to lay down your life; power to love and to serve the unlovable; power to live the sort of life that will leave a legacy of love. Come on, Jesus said this. He said:

Apart from Me, you can do nothing. If you abide in Me and My Word abides in you, then ask Me whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Friend, Jesus wants you to love this world, in His power.

Life on this earth is no dress rehearsal. We get just the one chance at it and when it’s gone it’s gone. So … what sort of a legacy do you want to leave behind when your life is gone? And … are you living the sort of life, that will indeed deliver the legacy you’re after.

At the End of the Day

Right now, there are just over 7 billion people living on planet earth; a number that’s going up every day. Today, just under 360,000 babies will be born into the world. And just over 150,000 people will die. So the net population growth of people on planet earth is around 210,000 a day, or around 75 million people a year.

They’re big numbers to contemplate, especially when all that you and I see is the small subsection of that 7 billion people that live around where we live. And in all of human history, they tell us that just over 100 billion people have been born on the earth and each of those 100 billion people have left a legacy. For many of them, their most obvious legacy is the children they left behind, who have had their own children, who in turn had children and so the human legacy of people is the most obvious thing they leave behind.

You and I are descended from an incredibly long line of people – the vast majority that we will never have heard of. Suffice to say that our DNA, the genes laid down on each strand is a complex pea soup made up of the legacy of an incalculable number of people. So that’s the most obvious legacy that most people leave behind.

But there’s also the legacy of our lives. The impacts that we’ve had on the people around us – impacts that ripple laterally across to other people, and vertically down through generations. As an extreme example, it’s reasonable to expect that both historically, and emotionally, Adolf Hitler has had quite a different impact on the world, compared to, say, Mother Theresa. Would you agree? Some people have left astounding legacies behind them – and others have left terrible ones.

And then just ordinary folk like you and me, we leave behind legacies too. Some leave behind a good legacy. Others not so good. Others leave behind a terrible legacy of abuse and hatred that reverberates down through many generations to come.

It’s worth stopping to think about these things for a while isn’t it, because the question that all this stuff causes me to ask of myself is this: what sort of a legacy will I end up leaving behind? And you – what about you? What sort of legacy will you end up leaving behind? Hmm? Have you ever wondered that?

The impact that we have on the people closest to us? Our parents, our spouse, our children, our friends, our work colleagues, our neighbours, our community. What sort of a legacy will you and I leave behind for them, hmm? That’s the question and that’s why today, we’re kicking off a new series of messages that I’ve called, "Living a Life that Leaves a Lasting Legacy of Love". Bit of a mouthful I know – but I guess my central premise here is that if we want to leave something good behind, then we have to live the sort of life that’s going to achieve that outcome.

And the greatest legacy that we can leave behind is a Lasting Legacy of Love. You and I are each a mixed bag. We have some good attributes, some particular strengths in our make up, handed down in our DNA, shaped and refined by our experiences. And then … we have some weakness, some not so nice things about who we are. The question is which of those is going to shape the legacy that we live? The answer is, the ones that we allow to dominate in our lives.

Each of us will leave some legacy, something that we imprint on our children. If you’re a person who is constantly afraid, a worrier then chances are that a great deal of that is going to rub off on your children. On the other hand, if you’re a real encourager – someone who is always building other people up – then that is going to totally change how your children see themselves; an impact that will go down through the generations.

So it’s how we live our lives that impacts not just our children, but many other people around us. The smallest act of kindness can change a life. The smallest act of service can totally transform someone’s world – and that my friend is something that can ripple on across the world, down through the generations in a way that we simply cannot comprehend.

And this isn’t just Berni rambling on. It’s exactly what God says in His Word, the Bible. Have a listen. In the 10 commandments, Exodus 20:5,6 God says this:

You shall not bow down to worship false gods, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of their parents to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

It’s true. You see it all the time. Sin ripples down a few generations. A man who is an alcoholic, is likely to have an alcoholic son. A man who beats his wife or his children, is likely to produce a son who does exactly the same. Our sin impacts not just us and our immediate family it impacts the legacy that ripples down to generations to come.

But note please here the grace and the mercy and the power of what God’s saying. Our unfaithfulness to God only goes down three or four generations. But if we’re faithful to Him, if we worship Him and live our lives – as best we can – for Him, then the fruit of that faithfulness means that God shows His steadfast love to the thousandth generation. That’s a way of saying forever. A thousand generations is like around 25,000 years.

My friend it may be that you are dealing with the generational impact of the sin of your parents, your grandparents. It may be that there is a spiritual hold over you – of violence, of low self-esteem, of fear, of timidity, of pride – generational sin that has been handed down to you from your ancestors. But God’s Word is clear – you and I can break that cycle – by repenting, turning our lives around, worshiping and honouring God.

And that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this series. Breaking the power of generational sin, and leaving a lasting Legacy of Love.

Drowning in a Sea of Emotions

It’s great to want to have a positive impact in this world. It’s fantastic for us to want to leave behind a lasting legacy of love But – and here’s the BIG BUT – we can’t live the sort of life that’s going to leave that lasting, if we’re drowning in negative emotions.

I recently went out to my Facebook friends and asked them, what sort of negative emotions should I talk about on the program. Are you sitting down? Here’s what they came up with:

Bitterness, anger, disappointment, fear, low self-esteem, envy, lust, cynicism, bad body image, pride, unfaithfulness, dishonesty, greed, regret, guilt, shame, being money hungry, hate, prejudice, judgement, self–pity, worry, self-loathing, jealousy, possessiveness, being untrusting, being unable to share, unable to delegate, unable to open up, fear of being vulnerable, inability to love ….

Hey, that’s not a bad list. I’m sure that you can think of a few more too. Someone who’s caught up in continual disappointment is like someone who’s carrying their own personal rain cloud with them 24/7. Some one who has a poor self-image is likely to be untrusting and unable to share their emotions.

When we’re caught up in those negative emotions, we simply aren’t going to be able to shine a ray of love into someone else’s life. When we’re caught up in those negative emotions, when we’re drowning in them we aren’t going to be able to live the sort of life that leaves a lasting legacy of love in the lives of those with whom we come into contact.

And these negative emotions feed off one another. Let me come back to disappointment. If you’re someone who is constantly disappointed with people, situations, your circumstances, your lot in life, how you look, the things you’re not able to do – whatever it is – how are you going to view the world.

Well, first up, you’re going to b envious of everyone who has something that you don’t. Secondly, you’re going to be overly critical of people – often the passive aggressive sort of person, is talking criticism and discontent to themselves all the time. And when that’s the stuff you’re feeding on, you’ll start loathing yourself, you’ll be angry with yourself and with the rest of the world, you’ll pity yourself, you’ll worry about how you’re ever going to feel better and you can find yourself on a path towards depression.

How’s that for a chain reaction?! But it’s true isn’t it? This is the self life, the inner life that many people live. They are literally drowning in a sea of negative emotions. Can I ask you – what negative emotions are eating away at you right now? What negative emotions are pumping poison through your system? What negative emotions are you struggling with – wondering what the answer is? Wondering what the solution is? Wondering where to turn and what to do? Hmm?

There’s an old Proverb that comes from the Bible, Proverbs 17:22:

A joyful heat is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

That’s a terrible picture – that picture of dried up bones. The hardest thing to do with negative emotions is to admit them to ourselves. I used to be driven by greed and pride and anger. I would never admit them to myself.

I kind of knew about the anger, but constantly justified it to myself. But the greed – I didn’t even realise that I was greedy. And pride – well it wasn’t pride, it’s just that I was smarter than the rest of you. It’s just that I was quicker than the rest of you, more competent than the rest of you. And because I’m naturally good with words, and not afraid to act, I was a right pain in the you know what!

My friend the hardest thing is to admit them to ourselves – but when we do – when we take a good, hard look in the mirror and say – yep in that list that Berni prattled off on the radio today, three of those, no, actually four of those describe me – when we get to that point, now, all of a sudden, we can do something about them. Do you want to hear that rather depressing list again? Here it is.

Bitterness, anger, disappointment, fear, low self-esteem, envy, lust, cynicism, bad body image, pride, unfaithfulness, dishonesty, greed, regret, guilt, shame, being money hungry, hate, prejudice, judgement, self–pity, worry, self-loathing, jealousy, possessiveness, being untrusting, being unable to share, unable to delegate, unable to open up, fear of being vulnerable, inability to love …

Which ones amongst that little lot do you own? Because the moment you own them, admit them, say "Yep, that’s me", you can begin to disarm their power over your life and over your legacy. My friend Jesus came to set you free from each and every negative emotion that robs you of your life, of your love and of your legacy. The very first time Jesus got up to preach in the local synagogue at the beginning of His public ministry, he unrolled the scroll to the book of Isaiah, chapter 61 and this is what He read to the assembled masses. He was telling them why He, the son of God, had come to this earth:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the Lord s favour, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to provide for those who mourn in Zion — to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, he mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit. They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, to display his glory. They shall build up the ancient ruins, they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

My friend He came to set you free, to restore you to wholeness, to bind up your broken heart, to proclaim His favour upon you, to comfort you, to give you a garland instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit. Do you get it! Jesus, came, for, you! And He can take away every negative emotion, He can plant you as an ok of righteousness to display His glory, and He can restore your devastations. It’s Jesus living in and through us that gives us the power to overcome those negative emotions and to live the sort of life that’s going to leave a lasting legacy of love.

On a Clear Day

Yep, on a clear day, you can see forever. Have you ever been on the top of a mountain on a day when the sun is shining? When there’s not a cloud in the sky? When there’s no mist or smog to obscure the view. You can see a long, long way on days like that – from a vantage point like that.

In fact, those are the two things that impact how far we can see. How clear the day is, and how high up we are.

For instance, if you’re an average height, say just under 6 foot, at ground level, you’ll be able to see for around 2.9 miles or 4.7 km before the curvature of the earth takes the view away from you. But if you’re up on a mountaintop at say 15,000 feet or about 5,000 metres, you’ll be able to see almost 150 miles that’s about 240 km. So altitude has a lot to do with it, as does obviously the clarity of the atmosphere.

And the same is true in life. And that’s what we’re going to explore today and it all has to do with vision. It’s all about altitude and clarity of vision. But all too often in life, we don’t have all that many mountaintop experiences do we? When we’re down in the trenches, battling to make it through each day with al the pressures and challenges and the emotions and all that stuff, it’s easy to lose sight of where we’re going. And we become completely immersed in it. You do that day after day, month after month, year in and year out – and you find yourself wandering aimlessly around the forest trying to remember now where was it that I was heading again?

Down here in the trenches, it’s actually about a hundred times more difficult than it looks from up on a mountaintop. And that’s how it is in life because in our lives, we’re down on the field, in the middle of the action, tired, emotional, confronted with challenges and positioned so that it’s really hard to see the big picture. The big picture for most of us looks something like this. When we get to the end of our lives we want to look back on a life that’s had an impact for good. We want to look back on a life that’s touched other people’s lives in a positive way, where we’ve used our gifts and abilities to make a real difference in this world, whatever that difference is.

And we want to look back on a life that we know is going to leave a lasting legacy of love in the lives of the people we leave behind when we depart this world. That’s pretty much it. When all is said and done, that’s what most of us want out of life – that sense of fulfilment at having done the best we could with who we were made to be and what we were given.

But down here in the trenches – oh, how easy it is to lose sight of that. Oh how easy it is simply to plod along each day doing the things we know we have to do to get by. Doing the things that we have to do to earn a living, bring up our children – without a sense of purpose or direction. Without that vision from up on high – a vision for the future. A vision for where we want to end up … at the end.

We suffer from pressures, stresses, emotional conflict, illnesses, tiredness, exhaustion. Everything I’ve mentioned so far you’re getting right? And so there we are slogging through it all – you’re in the middle of your jungle right now, caring out a path, exploring the next thing. Working hard at it. So in the middle of your battles, your life – let me ask you – when was the last time you sat on a mountaintop and looked out and wondered – "What’s the vision for my life. Where do I want to end up?"

If you’re like most of us, the answer is,  "Not in a long while", because all those immediate, urgent things crowd out any sense of a vision. Altitude and clarity is what’s required. Rising up above our circumstances, being still, thinking, looking, planning, dreaming about the sort of life you want to have ended up living by the time you get to the end of it – whenever that may be, right? Come on.

This is the one life you get to live on this earth. And it’s time to set it on a course; to have a vision for your life, what it’s about, what impact you’re meant to have, how you want to live it and what legacy you want to live behind. Without vision, people perish. Without vision you and I can end up having lived a wasted life. Tragedy. Tragedy. Tragedy!

And I’m not talking here about arrogant, self-serving vision for your life. I’m talking here about the sort of vision that comes from God – who after all made you who you are, and has already figured out what He wants you to do with who you are. James writes this in the NT:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16)

A vision without God in the picture is a boast. For me – the vision for my life is all about discovering the plan that God has already set His heart upon. He knows the plans He has for us – that’s what He says in Jeremiah 29:11 – and they’re good plans. Fantastic plans. I live as busy a life as any. There are so many things that conspire to crowd out any sense of the plan God has for my life.

That’s why most morning, while every one is still asleep, you’ll find me alone, quietly, sitting in my study – my favourite comfy chair – reading my Bible, speaking with God, hearing what He has to say. Being encouraged by Him, strengthened by Him, led by Him.

And in my heart of hearts, I know what His plans for me are. It’s a vision that’s crystal clear in my head and in my heart. It’s the plan He has for me and I wouldn’t swap it for the world.

So – what’s God’s plan for you? Have you asked Him? Is that vision before you? Without vision, people perish.

You have been given the most amazing body. Complex. Intricate. Beautiful. Totally amazing! It’s God’s gift to you – and it’s been purchased with a price. So what makes us think that God’s not interested in how we treat it? Huh?

Don’t Smoke

It’s something I understand really well because I used to be a very heavy smoker. It’s just over 30 years since I gave it up, but I remember it as though it were yesterday and still today, there are some times when I feel as though I could have a smoke. Frightening – the grip of that addiction, and depending on where you live, you may have seen a reduction in smoking recently. We certainly have here in Australia, but let’s just stand back. This is a global radio program, heard in over 160 countries around the world, and so let’s look at the global statistics. Here they are.

About one-third of the adult male population smokes, with smoking-related diseases killing one in ten adults globally. Today, that means smoking causes four million deaths a year, but if current trends continue, by 2030, it’s going to be killing one in six people. Today, one person dies every eight seconds from smoking, and why wouldn’t they? About fifteen billion cigarettes are sold daily. That, believe it or not, is about ten million every minute, and to put all that into perspective, about twelve times more British people have died from smoking than died as a result of World War II.

Now I could continue to rattle off the statistics ad infinitum, but you’re getting the point. Right? These days in most countries, every cigarette-packet sold comes with a warning. Here in Australia, we have some of the toughest plain packaging and warning laws in the world, with grim photos of cancerous lungs and feet with toes rotted off them, and by the way, those cigarettes are hellishly expensive.

So, why do people start smoking? It’s mostly psychological. Peer pressure for young women; people are seduced to try a smoke by its glamorisation, and once they’re hooked, the physical and mental addiction makes it really hard to quit. If you’re a smoker, the single-biggest thing that you can do to improve your health, extend your life-expectancy, and increase your sense of wellbeing is quite simply to give up smoking.

As I said, it’s just over 30 years ago that I gave up smoking. It was around 7 pm on 24 January 1983, and this is the story of how I quit smoking. It was an early evening; I was in a hospital-room as I watched someone die of cancer. She’d been a smoker earlier on in her life. The cancer had spread right throughout her body; she’d left a note, ‘Make this the end’, so they withdrew the treatment, food and fluids, and I watched her take her last breath.

As I walked out of that hospital-room, I threw a half-packet of cigarettes (Benson and Hedges extra-mild) into the grey metal bin outside the room. Cold turkey. I haven’t smoked since. It’s a pretty dramatic way of giving up cigarettes, but then smoking has a very dramatic outcome.

I had started just a few years earlier, in my late teens. I was in the army, at the Royal Military College, Duntroon, in the Australian officer’s training academy. We went on an exercise and a huge, cold, wet storm had blown in. Young, incredibly fit men were dropping from exposure. Our packs were miles away; the trucks couldn’t get through on the treacherous roads, so we had no wet-weather gear; no cold-weather gear; no tents (or hutchies, as we called them for some reason back then). We were at the mercy of the elements.

One of the blokes generously offered me a durry (that’s what we called cigarettes back then in the army); it was the only warm thing going, so I took it. Of course I coughed and spluttered as the smoke invaded my body, but that was it. That’s all it took. I was hooked, and in a few weeks, I was smoking three packets of twenty-five cigarettes a day. That’s seventy-five smokes every day! This was back in the day when you could smoke at your desk; I could easily go through a packet on a night on the town; between that and the alcohol, I’d wake up in the morning with my mouth feeling like the bottom of a cocky’s cage, as we used to say. Charming.

I was a chain-smoker. I tried to give it up, but to no avail. As bad as it was for me, as much as it made me cough and splutter and wheeze, as much money as it cost me, and as antisocial and disgusting as smoking is, I just couldn’t give it up, until I watched that woman die. The days, weeks, months and years that followed weren’t easy. The cravings were huge. For years later, I would still reach into the top drawer of my desk to pull out a packet of cigarettes. I’d check to make sure my lighter was in my pocket before I went out, but the thing that did it for me, one craving at a time, was the memory of watching that woman breathe her last breath, and the grief that it wrought in a husband, in a family ... In a very real sense, her death saved my life.

Of course, I could get run over by a bus tomorrow, and despite my level of health and fitness, I could prove to be a statistical aberration and drop dead of a heart attack or stroke or cancer; that’s always possible, but it’s far less likely today than if I was still an obese smoker.

What’s the lesson I learnt? Simple. I actually like my body. I like feeling incredibly well. I like sleeping well at night and being alert during the day. I love being able to exercise, and it’s a great feeling to know that, all things being equal, I have a long and healthy life ahead of me. I’m now in my mid-fifties. To put it bluntly, I would never, ever want to go back to smoking.

So, given that I’ve made it through exactly 30 years without a cigarette, you know what? I’m thinking I can probably make it through one more day. Smoking hastened my father to an early grave, and I had a good friend, Tom Curran, who died in his early fifties, and another work-colleague, Russell Abbott, who died in his late fifties.

Perhaps you’re a smoker. If you’re listening to this, it’s time to quit. These days your local doctor can help you; there are patches and sprays and lozenges, that can be deployed to ease you out of your dependency, and I know how tough that is, both physically and psychologically, but it’s time to take the plunge. There are government programs; there’s all sorts of help available, no matter how young or old you are. I had a very simple message for you today: Don’t smoke. Do whatever you have to do to give it up, craving by craving.

Now perhaps you have a loved one or a friend or a colleague who smokes, and perhaps today God’s speaking to you through what I’m saying, and convicting you to get involved, and to help them and to encourage them. I know as a non-smoker, you think it’s a filthy habit, and you wonder, "How can they possibly smoke?" Hey; I used to smoke three packets of fags a day and I see someone smoking today, and I’m asking myself exactly the same question. How did I ever do that? But understand that they are seriously addicted. It’s tough. It’s really tough to give up smoking, but having the understanding and the support, and the help of a family-member or a friend or a work-colleague is so powerful.

The alternative for that smoker, whether it’s you or someone else, is a massive heart attack at a young age, or lung cancer or gangrene, or any number of other horrible things, that will lead to a really grim and ugly death. Hey; God has a plan for your life, and for my life, and for everyone’s life. I know that ‘cos that’s what He says in His Word – the Bible. It’s a good plan: Sure, with ups and downs; sure, with challenges and trials, but it’s a good plan – a plan that for all too many is cut tragically short by this horrible smoking thing.

I remember thinking to myself when I was a smoker, "Oh, it’d never happen to me". Folks, the research is clear. The facts are in. It absolutely will happen to every smoker. Smoking on average shortens a life by around (wait for this, it’s staggering) twenty-five years. That’s rather a lot. The message is simple: Don’t smoke.

Sweet Dreams

Sleep. It’s something that we don’t give much thought to, isn’t it? We simply take for granted that we get tired, we go to bed, we wake up, we get going again, and that’s the next day. But have you ever been so tired that you can’t keep your eyes open? Have you ever been sitting through a meeting or sitting on the lounge at home, and you just can’t stay awake? At that point, sleep’s the only thing that matters. Our body is telling us it’s time for bed, and there’s nothing that’s going to change that. We just have to sleep.

The record for the longest period without sleep is (wait for it) 18 days, 21 hours and 40 minutes during a rocking-chair marathon of all things. The person who holds that record reported hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech, memory and concentration loss. In fact, so important is sleep to us, many of us take cat-naps with our eyes open even. People around us, we ourselves, are often not even aware of it.

Now, new parents will know that feeling because the birth of a child typically results in somewhere between 400 and 750 lost hours of sleep for those parents in the first year of a child’s life. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and I know how tough it is when children come along. I remember sitting at my desk at the office nodding off, because I simply hadn’t had enough sleep.

Now a normal person takes somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes to fall to sleep in bed at night. If you fall asleep in less than 5 minutes, then that’s a good indication that you’re being sleep-deprived, and dreams – that’s a whole different thing. We could talk for hours about dreams – the ones we have during rim sleep, that’s rapid eye movement sleep, are typically characterised by bizarre plots, whilst non-rim dreams are repetitive and thoughtless with very little imagery. And by the time the average person dies, they will have spent around 25 years of their life asleep. Isn’t that amazing?

And yet, even though 99% of what medical science knows about sleep has been discovered just in the last 25 years, did you know that even today, science can’t tell us what sleep is for? Why we have to sleep? Sure; there are theories, but there’s no one scientifically proven reason for sleep. The amount of sleep we need? That varies from person to person, but pretty much, is somewhere between the 6 to 8 hours a night range, and we all know that our sleep is something like a cheque account with an overdraft facility.

This is something I experience a lot. During the week, because I’m an early starter, I can be sitting at my desk at 4 am, preparing these radio messages. Sometimes I don’t get to bed till 10 or 10:30 at night, so I could end up with as little as 5-and-a-half to 6 hours’ sleep. If I do that for a few days running, I end up with a sleep deficit, and then on Friday night, I’ll sleep for maybe 10 or 11 or even 12 hours to catch up. If it’s been a particularly hectic week, Saturday night might be a longer sleep-night as well so that by Sunday, I’m caught up and I’m feeling fine again. I’m sure you’ve experienced that too.

But here’s the thing: Some people live in a constant sleep deficit. That’s what I’d like to chat with you about today. Because if you’re not getting the sleep you need, then there’s every chance that your life isn’t all that it should or could be. You know that feeling of constant tiredness? And some of that is caused by some of the things that we’ve been talking about these last few weeks on the program. If your diet is stuffed full of refined carbohydrates, then you are going to be carrying a bunch of extra weight.

If you’ve been able to join me on the program, you might have heard me telling you about the large amount of weight that I’ve lost over the past few years (25 kgs, or around 55 lbs.), so I can tell you there is a huge difference between the quality of sleep that you get when you’re a healthy weight as compared to being overweight or obese, as I was. I sleep so well these days. It makes a huge difference to my life. Back when I was carrying around all that extra weight, I was always tired. I didn’t sleep well, and life was a misery.

With all my heart, I believe (in fact, I know) that you and I have been put here on this earth by God with a purpose, and part of that purpose is to live the abundant life that Jesus promised to bring us. That doesn’t mean that each day’s going to be a sensational experience and that nothing bad’s going to happen to us, but overall God’s plan for you and for me is for us to live an abundant life – a life overflowing with God’s goodness; a life when the overflow of His goodness to us has a huge impact on the people round us.

Well, let me tell you, abundance and exhaustion simply don’t go together. You can’t live an abundant life when you’re tired. God knows that. Psalm 127:2 says that God gives sleep to those whom He loves. God gets it, but sometimes we don’t. We think that we can burn the candle at both ends – staying up late; getting up early in the morning, to do all the things we have to do.

You know, 18 hours without sleep has the same impact on you as a blood-alcohol reading of .05, which in many places is the legal limit for driving a vehicle, and today I guess I just wanted to give you (pardon the pun) a bit of a wakeup call about your sleep. If you’re not getting enough of it, enough good-quality uninterrupted sleep, then you’re not living the life that you could be living because you’re always tired, and from a health perspective, that’s not a good thing either.

Not only does a lack of sleep lead to more accidents and a far lower level of mental alertness, it can put you at a significantly increased risk of cardiovascular disease (that’s heart attack and stroke), high blood pressure, and Diabetes. Your sleep matters to your health and to the quality of your life, even if the scientists can’t tell you exactly why that is, so here are some practical tips for getting a good night’s sleep. I’m sure some of them will be familiar to you, but here we go.

Firstly, make sure that the room where you sleep is dark and quiet and well-ventilated because your body temperature needs to drop by about a third of a degree for you to be able to sleep well.

Next, get rid of all the distractions. Do you sleep with your mobile phone by your bedside with E-mails coming through and SMSs, or do you leave the TV on in the bedroom all night? Don’t! Those things disrupt your sleep, and they affect you during the day.

Then try to go to bed at pretty much the same time every night, and get up around the same time in the morning. The more your sleep patterns are in a regular routine, the better you’re going to sleep.

If you find that snoring or discomfort interrupts your sleep, then lose some weight. Just 3 or 4 kg can make the world of difference to the quality of your sleep.

If you have some ache or pain that wakes you in the night – a bad knee, a sore hip, a shoulder pain, get it seen to. All too often we let those niggling things linger on, not realising how much sleep they’re actually robbing us of.

Try to have some kind of routine – something that you do each night before you go to bed, to train your body that it’s sleep time. For me, it’s a cup of hot tea. I do that most nights, and it's funny how the body goes, "Whoop! Must be bedtime". That should include a wind-down period, especially for men. There needs to be a clear separation between using your mind for something complex like work, and winding down to the point where you can rest. In that last hour before I go to bed, I won’t let anyone get me to use my mind for something complex, otherwise I simply won’t be able to sleep.

And the last one is to lay the cares of the world aside. I do that by praying. Many-a time I’ve gone to bed with worries and burdens – things you could end up turning over in your mind for hours and you toss and turn and you have a restless night ... I always just lay them down in prayer. I give them to the LORD my God for Him to deal with overnight, and those things (99 times out of 100) give me a great night’s sleep.

Remember: You can’t live an abundant life when you’re tired all the time. Sweet dreams.

Your Body is not Your Own

If you’ve been able to join me over this teaching series, either here on radio or online at Christianityworks.com, you’ll know that we’ve rattled through some amazing statistics about how complex, how powerful, how intricate and amazing our bodies really are, but we don’t need statistics to tell us that. Just stop and think about all the things that your body does for you, and that you’re able to do using your body, without even having to think about it.

Just the right amount of oxygen is what you take in. You expel the waste products, CO2 and all the other stuff without even thinking about it. You can see millions of colours, and your mind interprets what you see in an instant. You move without thinking. You have such an amazing body. You can recall billions of bits of information in an instant, and why wouldn’t you have an amazing body? God gave it to you. It’s His design; it’s His hand-crafted exquisite gift to you, and it’s the only body that He’s going to give you in this lifetime. My favourite Old Testament Scripture is this. Psalm 139:13-18. The Psalmist’s writing to God. He’s saying:

For it was You who formed me in my inward parts. God, You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; that I know very well. My frame wasn’t hidden from You when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In Your book was written all of the days that were ever formed for me when none of them as yet existed. How weighty to me are Your thoughts, o God, how vast is the sum of them! I try to count them; they are more than the sand. I come to the end, and I am still with You.

Your beautiful body, hand-made by God Himself. He was there; He saw it; He made it happen; He chose the genes to lay down to make you who you are. You are so beautiful in God’s eyes, and though some of us (me included for much of my life) don’t treat our body with the respect that it deserves, it still is a beautiful creation.

Let me ask you something: If Jesus knocked on your door today, and showed up with the most amazing present for you, would you just toss it in the corner and treat it with neglect? I hope not. And yet when we abuse our bodies by eating the wrong foods, by not exercising; not resting; by doing all the things we know we shouldn’t be doing, that is in effect exactly what we’re doing. We’re tossing this amazing gift that Jesus has given us, our beautiful bodies on which our very lives depend, we’re tossing them in the corner and treating them with neglect, and that my friend eventually comes back to haunt us.

If you’re pumping lots of sugary and refined foods down your gullet, if you’ve become (sad to say) a couch potato and you’re not working up a sweat once a day or at least every other day, I can tell you this one thing for certain: The statistics tell us that you’re going to die young, and that’s no way to treat your beautiful body, this gift from God. Listen to what the apostle Paul says about how we treat our bodies to his friends in Corinth. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:

Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.

Okay. In this context, Paul’s talking about sexual immorality, but the principle of glorifying God in our bodies applies equally to how we treat our bodies from a diet, exercise and rest perspective. The Bible doesn’t talk much, if at all, about obesity or cardiovascular disease or Diabetes ‘cos none of those diseases existed way back then. They were lobbed in on us as we started eating the so-called western diet high in sugars and refined carbohydrates, somewhere along the way, in the 20^th century. See, this is why we’ve been talking about this stuff. It’s really important, but by and large, it’s not in the Bible except for this reference where God tells us to look after our bodies – to glorify Him in our bodies.

Friend, with all I am, I want to implore you today to take your body seriously; to respect it; to look after it. Because in doing so, not only are you going to be feeling a whole bunch better, not only are you going to be living a whole bunch longer, but you’ll be honouring God – glorifying God in your body, this body of yours that was purchased at the most amazing price, by the death of Jesus Christ on that cross. And that, my friend – honouring God, hey; that’s not such a bad thing to do.