CinemAbysmal: The Podcast

Welcome to our 50th episode. We're bringing back Ryan Dean Tucker (basement VHS tape extraordinaire) as our special guest star to talk about some movies he picked for us to watch. Nick watches a so-bad-it's-cult Canadian film called Ryan's Babe. Holly goes back to the 80s with Shelley Long in Hello Again. Dylan watches alien thriller The Hidden with Kyle McLaughlin

We get a little Cagey this month with a Nic Cage themed episode. We talk about the 2019 movie Primal, in which Cage plays a drunk, no nonsense, wild animal catcher for hire. And then we delve into the cult classic, Vampire's Kiss, in which Cage absolutely loses his mind.

We'll be back in March for our 50th episode with a special guest.

We're back with 3 new The Asylum movies. Nick writes a book report because he's an English major, and takes us through Bermuda Tentacles, an adventure where the president ends up in an underground cave with monster whose tentacles glow. Dylan explains Avengers Grimm, a movie she watched twice (WHY?). Holly takes you into the past with a WWII flight to kill Hitler or something. Join us in February for CAGEUARY. Nic Cage is back in our orbit.

It's a holiday extravaganza! First we take on Adam Sandler's latest disaster, 'Hubie Halloween'. Then we move into the Christmas spirit with 'Surviving Christmas' with an unhinged Ben Afflek and a confused Catherine O'Hara wondering how she got casted in this. And finally the crew wraps it all up with the 2019 holiday spectacular CATS! Release the butthole cut! Nick doesn't use a coaster for his beer in the nice new studio and Dylan and Holly gush about Queen's Gambit.

This is our first episode recorded in person together at Speak Studios in Spokane. We are thrilled to promote them at the beginning of this episode for letting us use their equipment AND for editing this episode. We are looking forward to this great partnership and to support their mission!

We each picked Asylum produced movies to watch and we explain them to each other. Arguments ensue about whose movie is the worst. Nick picked Android Cop, a rip off of Robot Cop. Dylan watched Tomb Invader, a rip off of Tomb Raider. Holly picked Trollz/Trolland, a rip off of the animated movie Trolls.

We are back with a set of apocalyptic movies because it feels like the world is ending as we speak! First up is Kevin Costner's 1995 Water World. A movie that we have all seen before but somehow all forgot that Kevin Costner has gills in it. Following that we talk about After Earth, staring Will and Jaden Smith, which is truly one of the dullest movies of all time.

The Onion article mentioned: https://www.theonion.com/i-was-in-a-movie-called-waterworld-and-global-warming-1838189896

We are back with two new bad Netflix films. The Wrong Missy is the latest from Happy Madison productions and proceeds like a typical 2005 David Spade film except it's 2020 and rape jokes aren't funny anymore. The Last Days of American Crime is now infamous for its 0% rotten tomato score. Hold on to your butts because if the plot and dialogue doesn't kill you the 2.5 hour run time will.

Welcome to the first Choose Your Own Abysmal minisode where we watch the first episode of a show and predict how it ends! This first episode is all about The Witcher. You can watch it on Netflix. It's is essentially GoT mixed with LOTR mixed with Outlander mixed with who even knows what is happening.

Welcome to the first Choose Your Own Abysmal minisode where we watch the first episode of a show and predict how it ends! In this second episode we talk about a German show called Dark that you can watch on Netflix.

Welcome to the first Choose Your Own Abysmal minisode where we watch the first episode of a show and predict how it ends! This first episode is all about Tiger King. #CarolBaskinFedHerHusbandToTheTigers

Strap in because we've got made for TV movie Titanic 2, filmed on location on the standstill Queen Mary in Long Beach harbor and the worst X-men sequel ever. Dylan is a x-men comic book expert and she tells us all about why the comics are so good and this movie is so bad.
Also, make sure you're following our Instagram @cinemabysmal where we are rating our quarantine movies out of four titanic 2 smokestacks.

Holly, Dylan and Nick talk Christmas movies with PAUL who you may remember from last episode where we insulted him. We talk about Mr. St. Nick with Kelsey Grammer and the terrible Christian Christmas movie Homeless For The Holidays. We also throw back to our Harry Potter episode and play our favorite clip of all time from that episode. Enjoy and MERRY CHRISTMAS. Don't even think about sayin' Happy Holidays...

Nick is back from his rehab/creative break and ready to talk about Halloween movies! Join us for the cult classic Evil Dead 2 and the super weird not really a sequel Halloween III! We also get really off topic per usual when Paul calls and then we have to talk about Paul for a good 20 minutes.

While Nick takes a creative break, Dylan and Holly welcome back Eric and Nadine to guest with us on Troll 2, the worst movie ever made. We of course also get sidetrack and talk a lot about Homeward Bound and all the VH1 shows of the early 2000s (Rock of Love, Charm School, Flavor of Love, etc.).

Nick, Dylan and Holly dissect two Stephen Chow films, discuss Holly's new woman crush, complain about X-Men and Game of Thrones and talk about Shrek 5 for some awful reason.

Nick obsesses over how good it's bad The Howling 2 is, Dylan explains why video games don't need to be movies and we all listen to too much 80s snare drum werewolf music.
IN THE PALE MOON LIGHT.

Check out our other podcast Just F Already, all about feminism and trashy romance novels:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/just-f-already/id1294125447?mt=2

Welcome to our shortest episode ever because these movies were so bad. We get off topic with small Japanese girls eating large amounts of food, Emma Stone's career and Scientology...again. Enjoy!

Also,l we were mentioned in an article Spokane's favorite local paper: The Inlander: https://www.inlander.com/spokane/two-local-film-podcasts-celebrate-the-highs-and-lows-of-cinema/Content?oid=16670692

Check out our other podcast Just F Already, all about feminism and trashy romance novels:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/just-f-already/id1294125447?mt=2

We get into religion this month with some Scientology, Christianity and fucked up South Korean horror. This episode is all about Battlefield Earth, Saved! and The Wailing.

We welcome Ryan Dean Tucker, famous for his Die Hard One Man Show, and his monthly TV Show, Lilac City Live. The three of us and our guests pick out some bad movies that we really love. On the list: Zapped Again!, X-Men, The Pagemaster, and Miami Connection.

https://www.spokanelibrary.org/blog/lilac-city-live/

Movies that scared us as kids that aren't scary anymore! We talked about FOUr movies this episode: Child's Play, The Dark Crystal, Watership Down and The Witches.