Cinemasochists

Greetings everyone! After what we thought was the WORST valentine's day movie two years ago 

(I Hate Valentines Day - http://cinemasochists.blogspot.com/2011/02/episode-28-i-hate-valentines-day-and.html) we decided to out do ourselves with something perhaps even worse...

Heartbeeps is the "romantic adventure" of two robots in love and stars Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters.... No, I did NOT just make that up. Listen in for more! 

LISTEN TO EPISODE 52 HERE!!

Hey gang! Happy New Year! After marathons and "special" episodes we're back reviewing what most of you might call a pretty random film. This slightly obscure gem is what some say helped kill Bob Dylans career (for at least a decade...) 

"if you want to feel the heat, you've got to learn to play with fire"

HEARTS OF FIRE!

Directed by: Richard Marquand

Starring: Rupert Evertt, Fiona and Bob Dylan

After cheating our way through 15 (uh-hem, 11) movies, we finally made it to what CNBC named the "BIGGEST BOX OFFICE BOMB" of all time, CUTTHROAT ISLAND! Now keep in mind this "marathon" took us a year and in the interim, at least 3 films have made this list. But for now, enjoy episode 48! 

special guest: Denver Smith 

Episode 47
The Adventures of Pluto Nash

"NASH IS TRASH"

Mr. Box Office Poison - Eddie Murphy - brought his shenanigans to Mars with the help of a robotic Randy Quaid, Rosario Dawson and even John Cleese. The opposite of hilarity ensues... Actually, nothing ensues... Listen in to find out what we thought!

alrightalrightalright.

We finally made it to the TOP 5!!! This is (as of a year ago) the fifth Biggest Box Office Bomb of all time! SAHARA! Matthew McConaughey gets tan and tanner and tanner before our eyes in this bloated action extravaganza. Penelope Cruz happens to be there too....

We discuss more current box office bombs, Clive Cussler readers and of course, we see if Sahara is redeemable enough to watch...Listen in!

The Biggest Box Office Bombs countdown continues with the action epic "The 13th Warrior" starring Mr. Melanie Griffith himself, Antonio Banderas. Based on a Michael Crichton book and directed by John McTiernan. Sounds promising, right?? Well....Listen in to find out

Our "Biggest Box Office Bombs" marathon continues with the Wachowski Sibings'
"Speed Racer" (2008)
Emile Hirsch heads a cast that includes John Goodman, Susan Sarandon and Christina Ricci in this re-imagining of the famous Japanese cartoon series from the 1960's.

We skipped number 10 in the "Biggest Box Office Bombs" and went straight to number 9.
Final Fantasy-The Spirits Within was a huge loss for Sony earlier this decade and we see why. Listen in to find out.
We also explain WHY we skipped number 10 in the marathon.

Listen to Episode 42 HERE!

This week we slogged through one of the worst zombie flicks ever (and thats saying a lot) and perhaps one of the worst video game flicks too! Erg.

Happy Halloween, kids!

The witch is back! So sayeth the trailer for this horrendous sequel to The Blair Witch Project. I wasn't convinced the witch was even there and more importantly, there were no books and there were no shadows....Just sayin!

This episode happens to be our very first animated flick. Not on any of our radars, but necessary as part of our 15 Biggest Box Office Bombs. Number 11 of said series almost bankrupt Disney for about 5 minutes..They probably shouldn't have paid the Goo Goo Dolls for the horrendous tune featured in the flick.... Enjoy Episode 39, Treasure Planet!

It's been way too long, but we're back. And what a stylin' way to come back. ALMOST too fat Val Kilmer and Carrie Anne Moss star in the Mars-sploitation flick, Red Planet, which is #13 in our "Biggest Box Office Bombs" marathon series!

Sean was not there this week, but Noah and Michael had help from the very funny Jared Galante.

So, before you go see Apollo 18 this weekend, listen to Cinemasochists episode 37!

"Gobble Gobble"