Cleanup on Aisle 9

Jesse & John discuss the wide world of vodkas, including Absolut, Stoli, Smirnoff, Tito's, Khortysta... We trip on acid jazz, focus groups, and how to make the world's driest martini... Nerd out on fonts, kerning, and the nightmare of rebranding ... And Jesse spills the story of how a vodka was created, from the name to the fame. Plus airplane bottles, drunk monkeys and a special shout-out to the Ukrainian people!

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What were your first pair of sneakers? Have you ever been to Sneaker Street? And did you ever use a shoe as a weapon? Kick it with Jesse & John as we get to the heart & sole of sneaker love, while giving props and/or trash-talking some baller brands: Adidas, Nike, Puma, Vans, Reebok… lace up & play!

PS: while no animals were harmed in the making of this podcast, still, apologies to the mouse, the jackrabbit, the duck...

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Hear the true story about the Pop-Tart bandits! Do you eat yours toasted or raw? And what's the deal with fitted sheets? Join Jesse & John as they talk toaster pastries, including Pop Tarts, Nature's Path & Bobo's. Plus Jerry Seinfeld's upcoming movie "Frosted", the 5 million dollar strawberry deficiency lawsuit, death by mini-toaster, DJ Evil Sandy on KXSF.fm, and that iconic scene from Pulp Fiction... BING!

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Jesse has his tight pants on for this episode as we speak with young entrepreneur and TikTok cooking daredevil "Salt Hank" about his new line of salt blends... plus the 174-year-old Morton Salt Girl, still walking tall... the Bug-A-Salt gun designed for shooting flies out of the air... Henry's Hunan Restaurant and Uncle Roger's love of MSG... but seriously, Jesse, what is up with the Tight Pants song???

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Hope you're ready for some breakfast cereal shenanigans...
Some of the crazy questions (and even crazier answers) in part 2:
- What is a sanitarium?
- What accident turned into corn flakes?
- Who are the most famous cereal mascots?
- What is Cap’n Crunch’s real name?
- What’s with all the violent milk action on cereal boxes?
- How did kids end up getting marshmallows in cereal?
- What cereals were invented by employees at the factories? Did they get a raise?
- Have you ever played a synth with your cereal?
- And WTF is Griddlepuss???
Tune in & find out!

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Saturday mornings, space aliens, box tops, John Denver, Griddlepuss, crystal meth... Join us in the wacky world of breakfast cereals! We talk about the cereals we all know & love (and/or hate). Plus: what makes for good cereal packaging & branding? And what's up with those other abominations that fill the shelf? Tune in & find out!

 0:35 What kid's cereals do u remember?
2:00 Box tops for prizes
3:23 Jesse was ineligible for prizes
5:12 Old ppl cereal WTF
6:21 The most popular cereals
7:45 Cheerios yo!
9:39 The John MF Denver diet
12:20 Dinersaurs, Urkel-O's, Hulk Hogan-O's
14:07 Killer cereal: Crystal Meth Crunch
17:30 It's all about the sugar
20:31 Kellogg's Say What Now?
22:40 Toucan Sam got f*cked up
24:07 Crazy-ass special editions
26:37 Stoners, cereal & soda
27:33 Opie & the mysterious shrinking lighter

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What a year! And you survived it! Pat yourself on the back & listen in as we discuss the good, the bad & the ugly of 2021, plus some style predictions for 2022. And, of course, a bunch of wack sidebars, including some great movies like "Don't Look Up" & "Idiocracy"...

00:48 – Happy New Year from the Cleanup crew!
3:52 – 2021 is so done
6:35 – Emily Zugay v Jimmy Rees
9:42 – Sustainability & weed
11:31 – Burger King reheated
12:50 – “Don’t Look Up” is surreal
16:26 – “Armageddon” was unreal
19:08 – “Vice” was the real real
21:17 – “Idiocracy” became real
22:52 – 2021’s predictions WTF?
26:02 – Predictions for 2022
28:01 – Uplift yourself!

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What's the world's most famous hillbilly murder-themed beverage? What happened when Jesse chased a chainsaw-wielding thief down Wilshire Blvd? And what's the deal with Doctor Pooper? Listen in for the answers to these & many other bizarre questions!

00:51 Logo challenge beatdown
02:12 Killed by a brief
04:16 Painting cell phone icons
05:37 Screaming Mountain Dew
07:18 Monster v Red Bull
08:34 Hillbilly murder scene
11:37 Good ideas gone bad
12:35 2 concepts for Aisle 9
15:22 Roy Kent's f*ing podcast
16:52 Wacky Packages "Dr. Pooper"
18:32 Big Daddy Roth "Mad Dragger"
19:40 Racing BMX w/the Busy Beavers
22:02 Chasing a chainsaw thief
24:18 Picking out ur lunchbox w/Mom
25:25 Pixie Stix, Pet Rocks & NFT's

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Jesse & John discuss the holiday magic of LEGO advent calendars. And the not-so-magical act of stepping on Lego's. And Jesse's all-night crime spree that ended with George Lucas & a hooker! Seriously! You don't wanna miss this one...

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Real-time mosquito murders! Dipping Jesse in formaldehyde! And the ghost of Bob Marley, driving around in a van! What does all this have to do with sustainable packaging? Tune in & find out!

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Drunk golfers! Boozy George Clooney! Canadian bootleggers! Design briefs! And WTF does any of this have to do with iced tea? Join Jesse & John as they discuss the finer points of packaging design for specialty spirits...

0:47 Brief briefs are best
2:30 Seagram's twisted history
3:24 Boozy George Clooney
4:30 Canadian bootlegger blues
7:20 Sweet tea bottom-shelfer
9:15 "I dare you to taste it"
13:49 The Dept. of Redundancy Dept.
15:33 The slow decline in design
17:04 Enter the lawyers...
18:54 Equity, shmequity
20:54 The big-ass jug
22:03 Your little design baby
25:38 Bad 80's design & worse!

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Which is better, fries or tots? What happens when teenagers burn their meat? And where did tater tots even come from? Join salty designers Jesse & John as they get crispy on some super spuds, including the brand-new McDonald's packaging & Ore-Ida's potato innovations. And what does that name even mean? It's all here, so grab some ketchup & dig in!

00:26 Stopping by McD’s for free sh*t
02:06 Out with the old, in with the new
03:28 Sidebar: road trippin’ & side-taskin’
06:54 Simple, iconic new packaging
08:23 Used packaging for sale  for real!
09:22 Localized pain: translate this
10:51 Lockdown learning with Duolingo
13:35 The inventor of the tater tot
14:35 Potato history w/the crazy Grigg bro’s
16:25 Re-enacting the birth of the tater tot
18:05 It’s not great if you have to explain it
20:30 Ore-Ida packaging: cleanup!
22:31 Jesse's secret love of tractors
23:57 Spud demographics & “safe” design
26:30 The big Ore-Ida cleanup!

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How did PBR go from zero to hero? What's the key to authenticity? And what's the worst PBR tattoo ever? Learn all this & more as John & Jesse crack the can on this iconic beer!

1:03 My dad was the original hipster
2:05 A short & bittersweet history of PBR
4:24 Pabst peaks & peters out
5:19 Dennis Hopper says f*** that s***!
6:55 The Hipster Age
7:58 Grassroots marketing with secret swag
10:00 Alex Whip-it-good & f*** Kid Rock
11:14 Good redesign, bad extensions
14:10 6-pack, 99-pack, even a 1776-pack!
15:20 The craft category explodes
18:20 PBR's iconic look
19:54 Terrible tattoos
23:42 A high-speed chase!

Our theme tune "Cold Beat" is by Serge Quadrado licensed under CC BY 2.0

Thanks for listening to Cleanup on Aisle 9! Please subscribe and share with your friends, and leave a review so we can reach more awesome listeners like you.