Cold Reads

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 25. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 25 brings you "Donkeys Live a Long Time. None of You Has Ever Seen Ethel Merman" by David S Atkinson. David S. Atkinson is the author of "Bones Buried in the Dirt" (River Otter Press 2013), which has not been directly linked by FDA studies to enhanced attractiveness but no one has yet proven the contrary. His writing appears in "Bartleby Snopes," "Grey Sparrow Journal," "Interrobang?! Magazine," "Atticus Review," and others, as well as numerous highly respected journals that exist only in his deluded imagination. His writing website is http://davidsatkinsonwriting.com/ and he daily tries to puzzle out why scientists can design dog food that makes its own gravy but have yet to create a sandwich that makes its own potato salad.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 24. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 24 brings you "Creating a stink" by Gill Hoffs. Gill Hoffs lives with her family and an ever-dwindling supply of Nutella in the North of England. She recently sniffed a pregnant skunk called Amy, and loved that she smelled of pine-resin and wilderness. Find Gill on facebook or as @gillhoffs on twitter, email her a dirty joke at gillhoffs@hotmail.co.uk, or leave a clean comment at http://gillhoffs.wordpress.com/. ‘Wild: a collection’ (including ‘Creating a stink’) is out now from Pure Slush at http://www.lulu.com/gb/en/shop/gill-hoffs/wild/ebook/product-21005948.html. Her nonfiction book about the Victorian Titanic will be published in January 2014 by Pen & Sword. Feel free to send her chocolate and You-Know-What. Yeah, yooouuu know.

Welcome to a special episode of Cold Reads. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. For this special episode, I am going to read a story sent by my friend David S Atkinson. This story wasn't written by David. No one really knows who wrote it at this point. It's a bit of a gag story, something that is supposed to make people crack up when they read it aloud, and that's the whole point. So here is my attempt to read "I Like Monkeys" aloud without looking over it. Wish me luck. I'm told I'll need it.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 23. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 23 brings you "Summit Lodge Road" by Darlene Campos. Darlene Campos holds a B.A. in Creative Writing from the University of Houston. In 2013, she won the Glass Mountain magazine contest for prose and was awarded the Sylvan N. Karchmer Fiction Prize. Her work has been selected for publication 18 times. She is a writer for Kesta Happening DC newspaper and a fiction judge for Yeah Write Review.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 22. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 22 brings you "Moths" by Elizabeth Kadetsy. Elizabeth Kadetsky's personal essays have appeared in the New York Times, Guernica, Santa Monica Review, Antioch Review, Post Road, Agni and elsewhere, and her short stories have been chosen for a Pushcart Prize, Best New American Voices and Best American Short Stories notable stories. She has been a fellow at MacDowell Colony, Ucross Foundation, Djerassi Resident Artists Program and the St. James Centre for Creativity in Malta. She began studying yoga in college, and went on to live in India as a Fulbright scholar in creative writing while studying with the yogi BKS Iyengar. Her experiences became the subject of her first memoir, published with Little Brown in 2004 and scheduled for rEprint with Dzanc Books. She is assistant professor of fiction and nonfiction at Penn State.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 21. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 21 brings you "The Homunculus" by Nancy Stohlman. Nancy Stohlman’s books include Searching For Suzi: a flash novel, The Monster Opera (forthcoming 2013), Live From Palestine, and Fast Forward: The Mix Tape, an anthology of flash fiction that was a finalist for a 2011 Colorado Book Award. She is a co-founding member of Fast Forward Press, the creator and curator of The F-Bomb Flash Fiction Reading Series, and she recently won the Stories on Stage flash fiction contest. She’s been published in over 40 magazines, journals and anthologies and she writes a semi-weekly blog, Ask A Flash Fiction Editor. She’s currently a writing professor in Denver and lead singer of the lounge metal band Kinky Mink. Find out more about her at www.nancystohlman.com

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 20. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 20 brings you "Sludge Man Gets to the Point" by Rosalie Morales Kearns. Rosalie Morales Kearns is the author of a short story collection, Virgins and Tricksters (Aqueous, 2012), and the founder of the Lake House collective, a group of feminist book reviewers.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 19. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 19 brings you "The Happiest Place on Earth" by William Lemon. William Lemon received his M.A. in Literature and Writing at California State University San Marcos, then began teaching English at the Community College level. For the past several years, he has taught at Santa Monica College and Irvine Valley College. He has been published in BlazeVOX, Drunk Monkeys, and the Eunoia Review.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 18. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 18 brings you "Libor's Looking" by Andrew Stancek. In his childhood Andrew Stancek was profoundly affected by a classic Czech poem which ends with the words “something fell…a child’s head without a body / and a body without a head.” Slightly later he pondered Achilles, triumphant, dragging Hector’s lifeless body in front of the gates of Troy. When the Russian Army occupied his hometown Bratislava, he agreed with the philosopher who said, “It was bound to end this way.” He grew to find Kafka hilarious and continues to be inspired by mythologies.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 17. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 17 brings you "Customs by Tad" by Matthew Guerruckey. “Customs by Tad” was written for Aaron Dietz’s superhero anthology project. For more information, visit timidpirate.com Matthew Guerruckey is the Editor-in-Chief of the literary website Drunk Monkeys and a freelance fiction writer. His short stories have appeared in Five 2 One Magazine, Connotation Press, Midwestern Gothic, The Weekenders, and will soon be featured at Bartleby Snopes. A West Coast native with Midwestern roots, he lives in North Hollywood with his wife, poet SC Stuckey, and their cats Lennon and Harrison. Drunk Monkeys is a part of the On Impression Network. For original short fiction, poetry, and essays, visit drunkmonkeys.onimpression.com

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 16. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 16 brings you Lex Talionis by JP Reese JP Reese has poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, book reviews, and writer interviews published or forthcoming in many online and print journals such as Metazen, Blue Fifth Review, A Baker's Dozen, Unshod Quills, and The Pinch. Reese is an Associate Poetry Editor for Connotation Press: An Online Artifact, www.connotationpress.com and an editor for Scissors and Spackle, www.scissorsandspackle.com. Cervena Barva Press has scheduled Reese's second poetry chapbook, Dead Letters, for publication in 2013. Her published work can be read at Entropy: A Measure of Uncertainty, jpreesetoo.wordpress.com.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 15. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 15 brings you Key Meeting by Matt Potter. Key Meeting originally appeared in gorge: Pure Slush Volume 4. Matt Potter is an Australian-born writer who keeps part of his pysche in Berlin. Matt has been published in various places online, and was a regular contributor to 52 / 250 A Year of Flash. He had his work performed as part of This Berlin Life in Berlin in March 2011.Matt is also the founding editor of Pure Slush and was nominated for the Preditors and Editors Readers Poll's Best Magazine / e-zine Editor in 2012.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 14. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 14 brings you "Insertion Hole" by Susan Tepper. Susan Tepper is the author of four published books of fiction and poetry. Her current title "From the Umberplatzen" (Wilderness House Press, 2012) is a novel in flash. Tepper has been nominated nine times for the Pushcart. Her novel "What May Have Been" (co-authored with Gary Percesepe) was nominated for a Pulitzer in 2011. www.susantepper.com

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 13. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 13 brings you "Sex for the Living" by Gessy Alvarez. Gessy Alvarez grew up in New York City where from grade six to eight someone threatened to kick her ass on a daily basis. Being weird saved her most of the time. Her fiction has appeared in Bartleby Snopes, Camroc Press Review, Black Heart Magazine, Connotation Press, Thrice Fiction, Pank, and other publications. Every week, Gessy calls her mother to reassure her that she is not writing a memoir.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 12. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 12 brings you "Daddy's Teeth" by Tawnysha Greene. Daddy's Teeth originally appeared in the December 2012 issue of PANK. Tawnysha Greene is currently a Ph.D. candidate in fiction writing at the University of Tennessee. Her work has appeared in various literary journals including Bellingham Review and Raleigh Review and is forthcoming in Weave Magazine.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 11. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 11 brings you "Medusa Panties" by David Sklar David Sklar grew up in Michigan, where the Michipeshu nibbled his toes on the days when Lake Superior felt frisky. His work has appeared in such places as Strange Horizons, Paterson Literary Review, and Gressive Press’s Scheherazade’s Façade anthology. David lives in New Jersey with his wife, kids, and cat, and he works as a freelance writer and editor. For more about David and his work, please visit http://davidwriting.com

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 10. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 10 brings you "Don't Forget to Wipe" by Mark Slade MARK SLADE LIVES IN WILLIAMSBURG,VA WITH HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER. HE HAS APPEARED IN WORDHAUS MAGAZINE, BLOOD MOON RISING MAGAZINE, ANTHOLOGIES YOU CAN'T KILL ME--I'M ALREADY DEAD, TALES OF THE UNDEAD--SUFFER ETERNAL, HELL WHORE 2, SURREAL GROTESQUE AND CHICAGOLAND MAGAZINE. HE RUNS THE STORY PODCAST DARK DREAMS. http://darkdreamspodcast.blogspot.com/

Warning: This is the most vulgar and potentially offensive episode to date. Enjoy! Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 9 Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 9 brings you Easy Pickings by Daniel William Gonzales. Daniel William Gonzales is a 35 year old writer from Port Orchard, WA. He edits and manages the literary magazine The Surreal Grotesque.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 8 Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 8 brings you The Worst Gosh Darn Drive-Through Experience I Ever Had at Whataburger by Justis Mills Justis Mills edits First Stop Fiction. He is currently at work on a trilogy featuring business attire.

Welcome to Cold Reads, Episode 7. Cold Reads is a weekly podcast read by Nathaniel Tower. Each week, Nathaniel invites an author to send his or her wildest, funniest, most twisted story. Without reading the story ahead of time, Nathaniel records an audio version, trying to maintain his composure as the author takes the audience on a wild ride. Week 7 brings you "Stiff Willy" by Mary Ann Back Ms. Back, of Mason, Ohio, was awarded the 2009 Bilbo Award for creative writing by Thomas More College. Her writing has appeared in many publications, including: Short Story America, Every Day Fiction, Apollo’s Lyre, Eclectic Flash, 50 to 1, Flashes in the Dark.