Consider Before Consuming

Katie Bulmer started Truth For Your Twenties to be the person she needed when she was younger. She mentors young women, shares advice on her podcast, and speaks nationwide.

In today's Consider Before Consuming episode, Katie shares wisdom on navigating the dating world. She suggests setting realistic expectations and having constructive conversations about pornography. Additionally, she discusses different types of intimacy that can exist in relationships, romantic or otherwise, and stresses that porn should not be used as a substitute for genuine intimacy.

Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.

Episode Resources

Article: Has Our Culture’s Obsession with Porn Changed Dating Expectations?

Article: What Are the Risks of Choking a Partner During Sex?

Visit: Truth for your Twenties

The following podcast episode contains discussions of child sexual abuse, violence, and sex trafficking. Listener discretion is advised.

Matt and Sarah founded She Is Not Your Rehab and launched the concept in Matt’s 2019 TEDx talk.

In this Consider Before Consuming episode, Matt shares how his vulnerability around his personal history of abuse and porn consumption helped other men in his barbershop to open up about their experiences. And Sara shares how her work in the anti-trafficking space led her to establish strict boundaries around pornography consumption and fight to create homes free from violence.

Their work to combat domestic violence, through an invitation for men to acknowledge their own childhood trauma and take responsibility for their healing, has reached millions.

Episode Resources

Visit: She Is Not Your Rehab

Matt and Sarah's Book: She Is Not Your Rehab

Art Prints: Who Is She?

Watch: Matt's Ted Talk

Article: What Are the Risks of Choking a Partner During Sex?

Article: 10 Reasons Why You Should (Not) Be Cool With Your Partner Watching Porn

Paul was exposed to pornography at a young age and realized in college that his porn consumption had escalated to the point that it was impacting his sleep, his relationships, and his mental health.

During this Consider Before Consuming Podcast episode, Paul shares how he was able to retrain his brain away from porn consumption through healthy practices. He also shares about his work as the Teams Coordinator for an organization in Mexico, which focuses on prevention, intervention, and restoration for survivors of trafficking. Paul encourages our listeners not to give up and reminds us that there is always hope.

Episode Resources

Article: 7 Reasons to Add Quitting Porn to Your Self-Improvement List

Article: Why Do Some People Fight Against Sex Trafficking and Also Support Porn?

Video: Paul's Story

Podcast: How the Porn Industry is Connected to Sex Trafficking

Visit: El Pozo De Vida

Trigger warning: The following podcast episode contains discussions of abuse and sex trafficking. Listener discretion is advised.

Julie Whitehead is a survivor of many years of abuse and sex trafficking. As a survivor, Julie shares her story in her book Shadowed: How I Became the Sex Trafficked Mother Next Door. She also serves on a survivor advisory board for the Malouf Foundation.

This episode of Consider Before Consuming is part 1 of our 2-part interview. In it, Julie shares about leaving her abusive marriage, only to begin being sex-trafficked on the weekends by a man she thought would help her.

Julie bravely shares her story in the hopes that other trafficking victims see that there’s hope on the other side of their experiences.

Episode Resources

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 104: Julie Whitehead, Pt. 1

Julie's Book: Shadowed: How I Became The Sex-Trafficked Mother Next Door

Visit: On Watch

Trigger warning: The following podcast episode contains discussions of child sexual abuse and suicide. Listener discretion is advised.

Julie Whitehead is a survivor of many years of abuse and sex trafficking. As a survivor, Julie bravely shares her story in her book Shadowed: How I Became the Sex Trafficked Mother Next Door. She also serves on a survivor advisory board for the Malouf Foundation.

This episode of Consider Before Consuming is part 1 of our 2-part interview. In it, Julie shares about the child sexual abuse she experienced at home, as well as the emotional and psychological abuse she endured by her husband in their 12-year marriage, before meeting the man who would sex traffic her.

Episode Resources

Visit: The Connection of Porn and Sex Trafficking

Article: How Pornography Can Worsen Cases of Domestic Violence

Julie's Book: Shadowed: How I Became The Sex-Trafficked Mother Next Door

There are hundreds of studies from years of research showing how pornography is negatively impacting individuals, relationships, and society. In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, we hear from many experts on how pornography harms.To learn more, check out Truthaboutporn.org. Truth About Porn is a current, ever-growing database dedicated to research on the harmful effects of pornography.

Videos: Truth About Porn Interviews
Articles: Get The Facts

Sara Brewer is a life coach who has helped numerous individuals overcome unwanted porn consumption. Initially, Sara found that many of her clients sought help to control their excessive porn consumption, which led her to concentrate on developing a coaching program specifically designed to aid clients in overcoming porn consumption, in a way that is shame-free and sex-positive. 

In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, Sara highlights the role that shame plays in perpetuating the cycle of porn use, including changing how we feel about ourselves. She also explains the concept of being sex-positive and offers advice to parents on how to have open and honest conversations with their children. Sara encourages people struggling with porn to seek help and believe in the possibility of change.

Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.

Episode Resources

Article: How My Feelings of Shame Fueled My Struggle with Porn

Video: Emma's Story

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 63: Dr. Debbie Akerman

Sara's Website: Overcome Pornography For Good

As a young adult, Carmen’s occasional porn habit turned perpetual, which he realized when he was looking at porn even when he didn’t feel like it. As a drug and alcohol counselor, he felt like a hypocrite because he was helping others in addiction recovery while struggling with an addiction himself. Once he began recovery, he realized the importance of not letting setbacks discourage him from continuing to try, and of not being alone in his struggle. 

In this episode, he shares with us his story of recovering from his unwanted compulsive porn use, the significance of understanding the connection between pornography and trafficking in his continued recovery, and how he uses his story to help others.

Episode Resources

Article: How Porn Can Fuel Sex Trafficking

Video: Carmen's Story

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming, Ep.93: Chandler Rogers

Carmen's Podcast: True Victory

Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.

Matthias J. Barker is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who, through his engaging content about mental health, has gained a significant following on TikTok and Instagram. As his reach has grown, Matthias has worked with other experts in the field of mental health to create workshops and meets with clients in his own practice.

During the episode, Matthias provides valuable insights into the potential connection between unwanted behaviors and our childhood experiences. He also shares practical tools that can help individuals overcome such behaviors, including identifying the root cause of avoidance, confiding in trusted individuals, and understanding that genuine healing is possible.

You can find Matthias on TikTok, Instagram, at @matthiasjbarker or at matthiasjbarker.com.

Article: What Past Issues Are You Trying to Escape From When You Watch Porn?

Find Support:  Relay, the #1 group-based program for overcoming pornography use

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 49: Matthias J. Barker

Matthias' Podcast: Matthias J. Barker Podcast: If You're Struggling with Porn

When Madi first discovered porn at the age of 13, she was immediately consumed by shame and the belief that she was the only girl looking at pornography. The cycle of looking at porn as an escape and the feelings of shame kept her from breaking free. Once she opened up to others about the struggle she was experiencing, she was able to understand that she wasn’t alone and to connect with her true identity. 

In this episode, Madi shares about her experiences and how she utilizes her story to provide support to other women and girls to know they’re not alone in their struggles, and encourages parents to have open, honest conversations with their kids about the harms of porn.

Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.

Article: Don’t think Women Struggle with Porn? Read Stories from 5 Who Have

Article: Can Women Get Addicted to Watching Porn?

Podcast: CBC Ep. 97: My Experience Being a Girl Addicted to Porn for 13 Years

Madi's Podcast: Sisters on the Frontline

The following podcast episode contains discussions about child sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

When Kristi McVee became a police officer in Australia, she quickly realized how prevalent child sexual abuse was, leading her to want to teach both parents and children about cyber safety and how to protect children. Her organization, Child Abuse Prevention and Education Australia (CAPE-AU) seeks to provide an education for parents and caregivers around child sexual abuse protection and prevention. 

In this episode, Kristi discusses the prevalence of child abuse in the rapidly developing digital age, the impact of pornography on children, and stresses the importance of frequent conversations about digital safety between parents and children.

Article: Parents—If You Don’t Teach Your Kids About Sex, Porn Sites Will

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 87: Lisa Frost

Conversation Blueprint: Let's Talk About Porn

Visit: Child Abuse Prevention and Education Australia (CAPE-AU)

Kristi's Book: Operation KidSafe:A Detectives Guide To Abuse Prevention

This episode contains discussions of child sexual abuse and sex trafficking. Listener discretion is advised.

Sage is a passionate anti-exploitation advocate whose interest in women's rights and healthcare led to her work as the Director of Impact for the Malouf Foundation and Executive Director of the Elizabeth Smart Foundation. Sage and her team engage in programs and initiatives that confront sexual exploitation through education, advocacy, prevention, recovery, and healing.

In this episode, Sage joins us to discuss sex trafficking—what it is, how it happens, and what we can all do to confront it. We also discuss ways trafficking can occur that may differ from typical assumptions, for example through the camming industry.

Access OnWatch training, Raise, and more at https://www.malouffoundation.org/education.

Article: How You Can Spot, Prevent, And Report Human Trafficking

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 89: Elizabeth Smart

Visit: The Malouf Foundation

Visit: Elizabeth Smart Foundation

Visit: Onwatch Training

Julie Whitehead's Book: Shadowed

As humans, we have an innate desire to connect with others and form meaningful relationships. However, hundreds of studies show that porn can negatively impact our relationships, including how we see others and connect with those around us.

In this episode, we hear from experts Dr. William Struthers, Dr. Jill Manning, Dr. Freda Bush, Dr. Philip Zimbardo, Dr. Jason S. Caroll, and Heidi Als Ringheim on the ways porn impacts how we see, treat, and connect with others.

This episode is part of our Truth About Porn series. Truth About Porn is a current, ever-growing database dedicated to research on the harmful effects of pornography. Learn more at https://truthaboutporn.org/.

Video: Philip Zimbardo, Ph.D., Truth About Porn

Video: Freda Bush, M.D., FACOG, Truth About Porn

Video: William Struthers, Ph.D., Truth About Porn

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 94: Jill Maning, Ph.D.

Article: How Porn Can Negatively Impact Love and Intimacy

Sex trafficking shares a variety of symbiotic connections with porn.⁠ Often they’re one and the same. ⁠Even in the production of mainstream porn, sex trafficking can still occur—and it happens more often than most people think.⁠

As long as there’s a demand for porn—especially porn that is extreme, abusive, or degrading—the porn industry will continue to meet that demand. ⁠Consider before consuming, and help Stop The Demand for sex trafficking.⁠

In this episode, we hear from experts Donna M. Hughes, Valiant Richey, and Mahri Irvine, Ph.D., who share the science and connection between the porn industry and sex trafficking.

This episode is part of our Truth About Porn series. Truth About Porn is a current, ever-growing database dedicated to research on the harmful effects of pornography. Learn more at https://truthaboutporn.org/

Episode resources:

Video: Donna M. Hughes Interview, Truth About Porn

Video: Dr. Marhi Irvine, Ph.D. Interview, Truth About Porn

Video: Valiant Richey Interview, Truth About Porn

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 96: Valiant Richey

Article: How Porn Can Fuel Sex Trafficking

Over the last decade, an overwhelming amount of science and research has come out on the topic of pornography and its effects on the viewer. Hundreds of studies by experts show how consuming porn develops neuropathways that can change our brains and impact people individually, including how it can be habit-forming, become an escalating behavior, change how we view others, and even impact mental health.

But the good news is that we can retrain or rewire our brains to return to a healthier state! In this episode, we hear from experts Dr. Simone Kühn, Dr. Donald Hilton, and Dr. Andrew Dohm, who share the science behind porn’s impact on our brains.

This episode is part of our Truth About Porn series. Truth About Porn is a current, ever-growing database dedicated to research on the harmful effects of pornography. Learn more at https://truthaboutporn.org/

Episode resources:

Video: Donald Hilton, M.D. Interview, Truth About Porn

Video: Simone Kühn, Ph.D. Interview, Truth About Porn

Article: How Porn Can Become an Escalating Behavior

Article: How Porn Can Change the Brain

This episode contains discussions of sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

Rachel was first exposed to pornography at seven years old and went on to develop an addiction to porn for the next thirteen years. Despite getting treatment for anxiety and depression as a young girl, she never felt like she could tell others about her struggle with porn because it was something that "girls didn't struggle with." Rachel discusses the shame she felt from being a girl struggling with porn, how being exposed to violent pornography from such a young age caused her to later be desensitized to an abusive relationship, and why she now encourages people to talk about their struggle in order to break from the shame that so often keeps them struggling.

Article: Why Fighting Porn Must Include Fighting Shame

Video: How I Realized I Had A Porn Problem: Myuniqe's Story

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 52: Katelyn

Valiant Richey started his career as a prosecutor, where he moved to the Special Assault Unit, handling sexual assault, child exploitation, and human trafficking cases for a decade. He now works for the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE), an organization that works on security issues and human rights for 57 countries. Val is an ambassador for the organization, working with countries on how they can better combat trafficking. His extensive experience and work with so many countries give him unique insight into how consistent the patterns and functions of human trafficking are from country to country.

In this episode, Valiant talks about how trafficking is fed by a demand for people willing to pay for sex. He explains how sexually explicit material further drives the demand for sexual violence and sex trafficking and the connection between how victims are treated and their abusers' use of pornography. Valiant discusses how rampant sex trafficking is and what we can do to address it on a macro level, as well as individual shifts in our perspective and attitudes towards sex buying can help decrease the demand for sex trafficking.

Article: How Porn Can Fuel Sex Trafficking

Video: Truth About Porn: Valiant Richey

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming, Episode 90: Taina Bien-Aimé

Visit: Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe

Disclaimer: Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.

Dr. Robert Jensen has been part of the anti-pornography movement since the 80s. Since he started, he has taught, written books and articles, and done extensive research on how society has been affected by pornography, with a particular focus on how pornography shapes men's behaviors and beliefs. Dr. Jensen explains how we're living in an age of extreme pornography, how normalized sexism and racism have become in mainstream pornography, and how it's affecting children and the way they're growing up. In this episode, Dr. Robert Jensen discusses the importance of having conversations with our kids about the harmful effects of porn, modeling healthy interactions, and start changing the conversation about pornography in our own homes and communities.

Article: How the Porn Industry Capitalizes Off of Racism and Racist Stereotypes

Article: Why the Goal of the Phrase "Porn Kills Love" Isn't to Shame Anyone

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 90: Taina Bien-Aimé

Resource: Let's Talk About Porn

Visit: Culture Reframed

When Dr. Jill Manning began her career as a therapist, she quickly realized how many people of all ages struggled with issues surrounding the use of pornography, including addiction and betrayal trauma. This led her to obtain a Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy, specializing in betrayal trauma. Dr. Jill Manning explains how betrayal trauma victims are affected by their partner's porn use and offers advice to listeners who are experiencing betrayal trauma.

Article: How Avoiding Shame Can Help Partners Who are Healing From Betrayal Trauma

Video: Truth About Porn: Jill Manning, Ph.D.

Video: Our Experience on Porn Recovery and Betrayal Trauma

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 54: Ashlynn Mitchell

Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 45: Jo Robertson

Visit: Dr. Manning's Website

Visit: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists

Visit: International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals

After being exposed to pornography for the first time during his freshman year of high school, Chandler began struggling with pornography and realized that he wasn't able to stop using willpower alone. It wasn't until he connected with others in an in-person support group that Chandler was able to see improvements in his journey to be porn-free. In this episode, Chandler discusses how finding a support group helped him to break free from shame and stay accountable and what ultimately led him to create Relay, a virtual group-based program for overcoming pornography use.

Article: Watching Porn Might Be Making You More Lonely

Visit: Try Relay at ftnd.org/relay

Video: What Recovering From Porn Is Like For Me