Discovering Our Scars

Although we sometimes say that people can’t or don’t change, the truth is, life is all about change. Hopefully, we are always growing and learning so that we can become a better version of ourselves. Beth was recently going through a box of memories and found a bumper sticker declaring her to be a proud member of an organization she would never support in any form these days! She and Steph reflect on all sorts of (mostly) positive changes from the last several years.

Use these Questions for Reflection to apply this episode to your own life:
(1) Do you believe people can change? Have you changed?
(2) Are you the same person you were in high school? Would the high school version of yourself recognize you today?
(3) If you could forecast the next five or ten years of your life, what changes do you think you might see?
(4) Do people hold us back from growing up?

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Steph
Beth

Chances are good that you’ve heard of “The Twelve Steps.” These are often discussed in the context of addiction recovery, but Steph and Beth both learned a lot by walking the steps as part of a step study. Each step helps you address those hurts, habits, and hangups that get in your way. It was a helpful process for them in that season of life. In this episode, Steph and Beth listen to and discuss chapter 12 of Steph’s memoir and share some of their memories beyond what’s captured in the book. 

Questions for Reflection:
(1) What are your hurts, habits, or hang-ups? 
(2) Who are the people in your life who keep you accountable? Have you been intentional about developing accountability partners? 
(3) Is there something you found beneficial in the past that you wouldn’t participate in now? 
(4) Reflect on someone who was in your life for only a season. What was the impact that person made on you? Why did that season end?  

Show notes:
Episode 14: Invisible Scars, What We Discover in Recovery (with Lori K.)

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

Follow: Steph & Beth

At age 36, Steph discovered something important about herself--she is a lesbian. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how heteronormativity, especially in the church, delayed Steph’s full awareness of who she is created to be. 

Questions for Reflection:
(1) Do you think people are born queer? 
(2) How have church and society influenced your understanding of who you are? 
(3) Would the you of ten years ago recognize yourself today? What might surprise you? 
(4) Do you care what the Bible says about homosexuality? Why or why not?

Show notes:
Episode 139, How PRIDE Became Personal
Dr. Steve Harper’s book, Holy Love
www.1946themovie.com

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Steph
Beth

Steph and Beth continue to listen to the audiobook version of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, and discuss what is revealed in chapter 11.

At the end of the episode, Steph and Beth offer you these Questions for Reflection:
(1) Have you had the experience of knowing only the next right step? What was that like?
(2) Reflect on the transitions in your life. What is it like when a transition isn’t attached to a life event like graduating from school? 
(3) Have you ever had a God-moment (or sense of knowing) like Steph had on the beach?
(4) What does having faith mean to you?

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

Steph: https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com
Beth: http://bethdemme.com

Steph and Beth continue to listen to the audiobook version of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, and discuss what is revealed in chapter 10.

In this chapter, God reveals to Steph that she was sexually abused  when she was a young child. Steph shares that truth with people she trusts and she finds both common ground and grief.

At the end of the episode, Steph and Beth offer you these Questions for Reflection:
(1) What do you think of how God reveals truth to people?
(2) Have you ever shared a hard truth with a friend and found common ground?
(3) Do you need solid proof to believe things in your own life (like the videotape Steph found), or do you trust your intuition?
(4) Have you discovered someone in your life was not a safe person? What was that reveal like for you?

Buy Discovering My Scars
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA

Steph: https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com
Beth: http://bethdemme.com

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, the kind where you wave off a piece of your life and step into the unknown? That's the heart of our latest episode, where Beth and Steph peel back the layers of emotion that accompany the goodbyes we face throughout life. From the annual farewells to years and birthdays, to those deeply personal ones like leaving a job, or even more profound, coping with the loss of someone close, we share our insights and stories on how each parting offers a path to growth.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod149
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars Podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos discuss chapter 9 of Steph's memoir, "Discovering My Scars." We unveil the profound power of vulnerability as we navigate the choppy waters of past traumas, workplace mental health, and PTSD. 

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod148
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

Join us, Steph and Beth, as we embark on a festive journey to explore the emotional roller coaster that is the holiday season. Ever wondered why holidays stir up such complex emotions? We'll be examining the joy, frustration, comfort, and nostalgia that come with holiday traditions and how our past memories and family dynamics shape our perspectives.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod147
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars Podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos discuss chapter 8 of Steph's memoir, "Discovering My Scars." They discuss Steph's experience working at Apple and her passion for the company. They also delve into her experience of being sexually harassed in the workplace and the lack of appropriate response from HR. The episode ends with reflection questions for listeners to consider.

Buy Discovering My Scars Book
Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dh
ebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsA
Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod146
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos have an honest conversation with Kristin Barnett about refugees in their community. Kristin, who works with the nonprofit organization Neighborly, shares her experiences working with refugees and the challenges they face in resettlement. At the end of the episode, you’re invited to consider your own experiences with starting over, your perceptions of immigrants, and how you might get involved in nonprofit work.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod145
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com
Kristin Barnett: https://thatsneighborly.org

We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 7 of the audiobook and discuss it. In this chapter, Steph is released from the mental hospital, but then made to jump through hoops to help other people feel secure or reassured. She tries to go one with life like nothing happened, but a sorority initiation makes it all too real.

Buy the Discovering My Scars book here

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod144
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

September is Suicide Awareness Month. Veterinary professionals are significantly more likely to die by suicide than people working in other professions. Our special guest, Stephanie B., has been a vet professional for many years. She shares her insights about why individuals in this industry are susceptible to this tragic ending.

Show Notes
- Not One More Vet: https://www.nomv.org/
- FOGO: Fear of Going Outside Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fogo-fear-of-going-outside/id1473836011

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod143
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 6 of the audiobook and discuss it. In this chapter, Steph remains in the mental hospital, more prisoner than patient. She’s told, again, to play the game and do things that will “add positively” to her case. But she experiences moments of awareness and humanity, too. She begins to wonder why her heart and brain are disconnected. She begins to wonder if self-injury is not the issue, but rather the symptom.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod142
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

We’ve all had someone try to guilt trip us. It’s the one trip no one wants to take! In spite of that, there are times we pick up the bags packed for that trip. The thing is, a guilt trip usually isn’t about you at all; it’s about the person trying to manipulate you. Once you know it’s not about you, you realize those aren’t your bags to carry. Don’t we all have enough emotional baggage already?

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod141
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

We continue our journey with Steph through her memoir, Discovering My Scars. Steph and Beth listen to Chapter 5 of the audiobook and discuss it. Steph’s coping mechanism, Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI), is misunderstood by a series of professionals and she is transferred to an intensive treatment psychiatric center. Things go from bad to worse.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod140
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

From the beginning, Steph and Beth planned to be intentional about inviting LGBTQ voices into the conversation. Turns out, that was there all along! This is an honest conversation about a personal realization that PRIDE really is personal.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod139
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

Loss is part of life, but restarting after a major loss can be especially challenging. In this episode, Steph and Beth reflect on recent and long ago losses and how they interrupted life. Whether it’s the loss of a parent, sibling, friend, pet, or job, life invites us to go on. This is an honest conversation about how hard it can be to hear and accept that invitation.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod138
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

We make plans—the BEST plans—and then life does what it does and our plans are for nothing. Steph and Beth planned to have a great start to 2023, but then Steph’s roof started leaking, Beth got COVID, and Steph had to say goodbye to her dog Mac. This is an honest conversation about grief, intentions, catastrophizing, and why the first month of 2023 might have already ruined the year, or not.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod137
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

Daniel is the first guest to three-peat on the podcast! This time he’s here to fill Steph and Beth in on how men think. Are men as superficial as we think? Are they simple or complicated? Daniel addresses this and more in this honest conversation.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod136
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/

Rather than making a New Year’s resolution, Steph and Beth invite you to take time for a New Year reflection. Instead of ending the episode with Questions for Reflection, this is an entire episode of Questions for Reflection. Steph and Beth take turns answering questions that reflect on what last year was and what they hope this year will be. There’s a 30-second pause between questions so you can reflect on your own answer (or use your 30-second skip to move forward in the episode).

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod135
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/