Doomsday: History's Most Dangerous Podcast

Most people wouldn’t think a burp could kill you. By the time you finish this episode, you won’t be most people.

This episode has everything: fish farts, exploding lakes, tennis pro Vitas Gerulaitis, ancient African spirits, and a 0.0075% survival rate. You’ll also hear about people’s eyes popping out of their sockets while their skin blisters from within, and others who just drop dead like their strings were cut.

But you will also learn how to protect your family against the non-spoiler cause of this disaster. Of course, you may also be left wondering why you never knew the ocean exploded before.


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The Crash at Crush of 1896


Back in the day before marketing appeared in washrooms, projected on buildings, geo-targeted to your phone and dragged on banners across the sky, people could raise brand awareness by simply blowing things up. This is the story of the worst marketing stunt in American history.

With anything, like music or social media or free speech, no form of communication is inherently evil. It all comes down to what you do with it. What will the cast of today’s story do with it?

On this episode you will hear about skull fractures, eye gouges, steam burns, people playing catch with flaming metal and showers of boiling water. Celebrity cameos include human monster PT Barnum, Dutch physicist Christiaan Huygens, and singer Susan Boyle


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Massachusetts has never been the most friendly of States. From their baseball fans to their witch burners to their license plate motto writers there is a history of bitterness. Today’s story however, is going to be a little sweet.

This gets categorized more into the bizarre and awe-inspiring than forgotten, but the level of detail scooped here will make it feel fresh and new. No joke, this episode is such a complete and unconditional disaster which so little opportunity to escape or help yourself, you’ll find our actual help segment helpful, but not in the normal way.

On this episode is full of surprises. Like, what is the last part of a body fish will eat. The answer will surprise you And you’ll hear about a new take on the old cut-a-person-in-half magic trick. Celebrity cameos include Sir Isaac Newton - who once put a needle through his eye - and Usain Bolt - who dies terribly and unnecessarily.


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The Great Boston Molassacre of 1919

We’ve talked about the Cold War before. But today we’re going to talk about a very cold war. Just sit back, slice open a Taun Taun, and let’s get into it.

We say the only value of any disaster is what can be learned to safeguard people in the future, but in this case it was very much a matter of people dancing on the lip of the volcano. We’re going to talk about a disaster so phenomenal it was erased from history.

On this episode we will describe shattered bodies with blue faces, people having their insides turned into their outsides, and pieces of people and equipment intermingled. I will also premiere a secret psychic force I’ve been quietly developing in my down time. Celebrity cameos include Franz Ferdinand and Utzi the Iceman.


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According to the NTSB, airplane accidents have a 95.7% survivability rate, and normally that would be great news. Try telling that to the passengers on today’s episode.

As promised, we make our inglorious return with a welcome back minisode about the most unlikely plane crash of all time. A disaster so bizarre it actually became the worst case scenario in ICAO Aviation testing.

We are headed to Africa to answer the question: what has eighty teeth, bad breath, and sucks
at flying.

We always endeavour to make you smarter and more aware in a way that could potentially save your life one day, but this episode is just bizarre, even by our standards.

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Gratitude. Excrement. Explanations and Updates. This entirely tiny episode has it all!

This minisode is actually my quick and candid explanation for my absence from the microphone - but you’ll also get to hear a quick story about rich people drowning terribly, a few teasers about upcoming episodes, and my promise that we’ll be back on the air before you know it.

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There’s always been a lot of pressure to have an unforgettable time on New Years’ Eve. Today’s story promises to be unforgettable – so dig out your dancing shoes, party whistles and funeral kazoos - this is the New Years’ Baby of disaster stories.

Put on your dancing shoes and update your will. We’re heading to Bangkok to ring in the new year.

On this episode we will describe flaming scalps and skin sloughing off and crush injuries and dislocated spines - so yes, things will not go well - but they will make you smarter and more aware. Anything we can do to potentially one-day save a life, and our work is done. On that note, check your smoke detector batteries.


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Today’s episode is about a disaster so potent it would kill you today as easy as it would kill your descendants 35,000 years from now. And although this episode will be light on actual gore, we will be talking about an awful lot of human organs turning into cancer. But nothing too aggregious.

A lot of ignorant but pioneering scientists with brave ideas and bubbling skin had to die for us to learn how dangerous today’s topic can be. Yes, this is another in our on-going series on nuclear mishaps and mayhem.

Without spoiling anything, I can say that nuclear bombs have been struck by lightning, survived plane crashes, burned to the point of melting, smashed into the ground at super sonic speeds, dropped from an aircraft parked on a runway, crushed by oceanic depths and blown apart by the missiles they were attached to. If nothing else, it’s a testament to how well they are built and designed.

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Today’s episode is basically a Public Service Announcement for future time travellers. Do not go back to Victorian England. Disease, murder, and stink around every corner. It’s hard to overestimate how terrible every facet of life was in Victorian England.

On this episode we’re going to learn what it takes to turn a full size adult into a briquette. Why Jane Eyre stunk, and the best way to saw up a dead horse. I’ll give you a hint - time and bacteria work better than cutting tools alone. Work smarter, not harder.

Well, would you rather be locked away for life against your will for no good reason and have Jack the Ripper as a cellie, do take your chances trying to escape during the worst fire you’ve ever seen? How many places do you know that have too many clients, spread over too large an area, being cared for by too few staff, with too little money and crumbling infrastructure? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? But seriously, we look down our noses at health care from a century ago like we’re so great. We’re not perfect. No one is. But as imperfect as it might be, mental health care has never been better.

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On this episode we are going to learn why fighter jets – graceful and aerobatic though they may be – make terrible ground vehicles. You’ll also learn how to say run for your lives in Ukranian.

We'll be celebrating unlucky episode number thirteen by describing burning jet fuel and debris spraying into a crowd, and something described as behaving “like a human lawn mower”. We’re considering putting out barf bags for our beloved Doomsday Cult Members, and this is the episode that inspired the idea.

So, Air Shows huh? Nothing really funny or fun to say about them. They have a pretty good safety record, but on those rare occasions where something does go wrong, they are pure nightmare fuel.

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This episode is a short one but a good one. What it lacks in bloodshed, it will make up for in patriotic razzmatazz and screaming. We are calling this our palate cleanser episode.

In this episode you will hear about people screaming for their lives – nothing weird there. You’ll hear cheese grater used as a verb – that’s kind of new. All in all, this is our palate cleanser episode. You could pretty much play this one while eating or around kids – but there is a brief mention of masturbation – so there’s that.

Fantastic is defined as imaginative, extraordinary, irrational, wild, absurd, implausible, far-fetched and unbelievable. We promised fireworks, and we hope you’ll agree, today’s story was short but fantastic.

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Paris is the city of lights and when you think of its non-tower based icons, the Moulin Rouge races to mind pretty easily. But Paris is a city with a long and troubled history. This is a place with six million skeletons in their sewer for crying out loud.

We’re heading to South America to talk about a disaster so spectacular that over a thousand Americans recreate it in their own home every year.

In this episode we will describe a deep fryer the size of a department store and flesh dripping from bodies like wax from a candle. In fact, this is the first episode we’ve done that requires two separate safety segments.

This was another in our long line of bad-day-at-work stories, but also in the thread of disasters that could not have happened without a series of contributing factors all falling perfectly into line. We really played up fire safety. It’s because this is the first episode where all the ingredients for disaster are right there in your kitchen.

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Jean Paul Sartre said Hell is other people, and he’s right. Commuting proves this true. But if you’ve ever been on a train and had someone clip their nails or fall asleep on you, the people of Australia think your complaints are adorable.

If you enjoy the bucolic leisure of a train ride and arriving alive, this is not necessarily the episode for you. On this episode we’re going to talk about people awkwardly Tetrised around debris in the most claustrophobic situation possible, and others who compressed to the height of a business card.

Fun fact: the actual fear of trains is called Siderodromophobia. Whether your fear is about crashing, or the lack of control, or they trigger other phobias like claustrophobia, social phobia or germ phobia, the easily rememberable and pronounceable Siderodromophobia has got you covered.


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Weather prediction is hard, and chances are your local weather person has a terrible track record and you think they stink at their job. Well, the weatherman in today’s episode would like you to hold your judgement – and their beer.

If you like shipwrecks, sharks and celebrity guest stars, this is the episode for you. In this episode you will hear about some pretty casual olde-timey racism, the strange tale of a man swimming after a torpedo in hopes they could blow up together, and the dietary habits of sharks.

It’s not every day we get to do an episode that contains shipwrecks, carnage, blind mistakes and untold heroism. But also, we warned you that “bad day at work” would become a pretty common theme in this podcast. We think we over delivered on this episode.

If you want to support the on-going production of the show, you can find us at www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo. If you’re after cool episode specific swag you’re welcome to visit www.evilreindeershop.com, but if can spare the money and had to choose, we ask you to consider making a donation to www.globalmedic.ca

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In India you can make prayers to any one of 33 different top tier deities. You may want to. This episode is a bit of a Russian Nesting Doll of suffocation and electrocution and explosions.

In this episode we will describe people being electrocuted by goat blood soup. You will hear about an awful lot of death, and explosions, and fire, but don’t worry, because most of the deaths are caused by smothering and suffocation.

If you remembered that crowds are more dangerous than sharks, you get a gold star. We are trained to fear things that are scary and flashy, but when you really boil down a disaster like this, its mundane circumstances building on top of each other.

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Grab your clan robes and your snow shovels, today we’re heading to the Nation’s capital. We’re going to see a movie so funny it actually brought the house down. No really, people died.
If you want to complain about this episode or just need a hug or an apology, you can find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and YouTube.
All episodes can be found at Anchor.fm/Doomsday or wherever podcasts are found.

If you Google “worst jobs” you’re going to see things like crime scene clean up and sewer diver, but compared to medieval bell ringer? At least sewer divers can be hosed down. Bell ringers had to be hosed off – like, every surface.

In this episode you will hear about people superheating to five times the temperature of the surface of the sun before exploding. You’ll learn what a terrible job TV and movies have done teaching you about explosions, and you’ll also learn how to say stop, drop and roll in latin.

I would really like to see the stained glass fresco depicting the events of this story. Also, spoiler, Stop Drop and Roll in Latin is Prohibere, et stilla volmine.

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Riddle me this. I make intestines peek out of a belly. I make bone protrude from a fractured shin. I make blood spurt from a gash in the buttocks. What annual sporting event am I? Find out this week on Doomsday: History’s Most Dangerous Podcast.

In this episode, you will hear about a man being carried around by a horn stabbed in through his neck and poking out his mouth. You’re even going to hear the only podcast with an interactive portion that lets you pretend your face is bisected to the point you could tuck your eyeholes over your ears.

So dear listeners, we want to know what’s the most stitches you ever received in a single sitting? And while you’re at it, tell us how many severed thumbs out of five you would give this episode.

If you want to support the on-going production of the show, you can find us at www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo. If you’re after cool episode specific swag you’re welcome to visit www.evilreindeershop.com, but if can spare the money and had to choose, we ask you to consider making a donation to www.globalmedic.ca

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Spotify : https://tinyurl.com/73tb3uuw
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Stitcher : https://tinyurl.com/mcyxt6vw
Google : https://tinyurl.com/3fjfxatt
Spreaker : https://tinyurl.com/fm5y22su
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
RadioPublic : https://tinyurl.com/w67b4kec
PocketCasts. : https://pca.st/ef1165v3
CastBox : https://tinyurl.com/4xjpptdr
Breaker. : https://tinyurl.com/4cbpfayt
Deezer. : https://tinyurl.com/5nmexvwt

Follow us on the socials for more

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Instagram : www.instagram.com/doomsdaypodcast
Twitter : www.twitter.com/doomsdaypodcast

Funeral Kazoo HQ : www.funeralkazoo.com

This episode is the disaster equivalent of one of those trick birthday candles that just won’t blow out. So if the idea of close, intimate contact with insects, arachnids and reptiles bothers you, today’s episode will bother you. A lot.

In this episode you will hear-tell of a plague of terror being cleared away by cleansing mercy of a volcano and people voluntarily jumping into boiling water, on purpose, because it was the best of all available options.

So dear listeners, would you rather: wear a coat of panicked insects and snakes or run with arms outstretched into the face a 1000 F pyroclastic flow?

If you want to support the on-going production of the show, you can find us at www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo. If you’re after cool episode specific swag you’re welcome to visit www.evilreindeershop.com, but if can spare the money and had to choose, we ask you to consider making a donation to www.globalmedic.ca

Find us on any of your favorite channels

Apple : https://tinyurl.com/5fnbumdw
Spotify : https://tinyurl.com/73tb3uuw
IHeartRadio : https://tinyurl.com/vwczpv5j
Stitcher : https://tinyurl.com/mcyxt6vw
Google : https://tinyurl.com/3fjfxatt
Spreaker : https://tinyurl.com/fm5y22su
Podchaser : https://tinyurl.com/263kda6w
RadioPublic : https://tinyurl.com/w67b4kec
PocketCasts. : https://pca.st/ef1165v3
CastBox : https://tinyurl.com/4xjpptdr
Breaker. : https://tinyurl.com/4cbpfayt
Deezer. : https://tinyurl.com/5nmexvwt

Follow us on the socials for more

Facebook : www.facebook.com/doomsdaypodcast
Instagram : www.instagram.com/doomsdaypodcast
Twitter : www.twitter.com/doomsdaypodcast

Funeral Kazoo HQ : www.funeralkazoo.com