Eyes Wide Open Life Podcast

The Power of an Examined Life.

This is a recording from Just Be Like This Today!

This is a daily invitation to grant yourself permission to drop all your other nagging ‘Musts’ and ‘Shoulds’ about self-improvement, personal development and living a virtuous life. Just enjoy this one cup of Living Wisdom, just choose this one thing and sit with it today.

It helps to think of your life in packets. There was the packet you spent in the womb. There was the packet of your infancy, then the toddler packet, and so on. In a way, this last cycle you have been through was a packet. And if you are open to the idea of renewal, it means you will be getting ready to pick yourself up and face a new cycle, a new packet. To live an examined life then, implies that you have to look back, and examine the packets of your life. How far back, is up to you. Your heart will tell you what magnitude of death and rebirth you are facing right now.

If you want to move forward you have to plan forward. If you want what you have never had, you must do what you have never done. You need to look back to see forward more clearly.

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On Being okay with Not Knowing...

This is a recording from Just Be Like This Today!

This is a daily invitation to grant yourself permission to drop all your other nagging ‘Musts’ and ‘Shoulds’ about self-improvement, personal development and living a virtuous life. Just enjoy this one cup of Living Wisdom, just choose this one thing and sit with it today.

Trying to figure life out is like rummaging in a sack trying to pull a mystery object out, that you are looking for, without knowing what it is. Having a phone in your pocket means you never get to sit with a question and let it nag at you. You have become used to having instant answers on tap. You have normalised the abnormal.

The recording is a short guided reflection on the necessity and power of Sitting with Questions, even ones that do not have ready answers.

—there is a way that you can shape the hand of your grasping mind as if it knows what it is trying to grab and draw out. Sometimes the way you are holding a question is exactly what will make the answer evade your grasp. This is what the Zen Koan means: Not Knowing is Most Intimate. A Koan is in fact a tool used in the Zen tradition that poses a riddle or question, that is not meant to be solved. The work, if it can be called that, is done in the interstitial space of uncertainty.

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Forgiveness is both the province of the well and the door to wellness. You will notice those who struggle to forgive, struggle also to be well.

This a recording from Just Be Like This Today!

This is a daily invitation to grant yourself permission to drop all your other nagging ‘Musts’ and ‘Shoulds’ about self-improvement, personal development and living a virtuous life. Just enjoy this one cup of Living Wisdom, just choose this one thing and sit with it today.

Forgiveness is always so much less about someone else than it is about you. And yet paradoxically, only when you hold the same wish for the other person to also be made again both whole and free, do you find a way for yourself to be both whole and free.

If the wound is great, we will have to let it go many times.

The recording is a short guided reflection on the necessity and power of Forgiveness. 

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In this episode I discuss Actualization, unpacking what I mean by this, and the Power of Permission, which we need to give ourselves, to pursue our intents, to take mastery of our life and our choices, to enter courageously into a conversation with the Universe and with the reality of our lives, where it becomes okay to 'fail', so that we can learn, grow and develop.

Indirectly I also discuss in some detail what the entire project of the Eyes Wide Open Life podcast is about, what my motivations and intentions are, and what my main thesis in all of my work is, which is found throughout the @rocco.jarman humanitarian art project on Instagram and the Courses and Coaching I deliver via Eyes Wide Open Life.
 
I also cover:

• feedback loops
• self-measurement and reflection
• radical honesty and vulnerability
• peerlessness
• the false attraction and pursuit of wisdom vs the more authentic project of actualization and discovery of self

If you take nothing else away from this episode, this is the part i hope truly lands:

I believe, and in many ways, Iam living proof, that the pursuit and attainment and the successful negotiation of all the obstacles that stand in the way of self-mastery and self-liberation, is at bottom, psychological.  

That is, our pursuit or failure to achieve connection, is as a result of the ideas we carry, ideas we have been infected with through conditioning, the ideas we have failed to challenge and correct in ourselves.  

Ideas about love, acceptance, forgiveness, worthiness, power, belonging, divinity, and consciousness, are the ideas we need to get straight, and redundant impediments like shame, guilt and the confusion between Fear and Danger, between Pain and Injury, between Discomfort an unbearability, that discernment, is KEY.

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Looking with genuine care at the source and nature of conflict in Palestine.

"It is entirely possible for two sides in a conflict to both be guilty of separate and irreconcilable transgressions that do not justify either nor balance each other out."

This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and resist the urge to form quick opinions. With the understanding that conflict cannot be resolved through one side being right, we aim for a transcendent perspective through which everything can be held and reconciled. Our focus is not just on the conflict between Israel and Palestine, but on conflicts that manifest in various forms—be it emotional, political, or otherwise.

Most of all, it is part of a mandate we each need to consider and own to be open to this necessary form of generosity and courage, in a word Leadership, whereby can live up to the claim that we care more about a path to peace, than we do about retribution and vindication.

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In this episode, my guest Rowan shares his insights on an much needed culture shift and prevailing leadership paradigm in business. His views and wisdom are visionary, pragmatic and quite overdue and we take a thoughtful and immersive dive into the nature and culture of corporate business, covering both strident critique as well as what better might look like.

Rowan is a specialized consultant for CEOs. With formal education from Berkeley University and Harvard Business School, Rowan has honed a unique set of methodologies aimed specifically at enhancing CEO and Leadership performance in Business.

Aside from his extensive experience and impressive professional resumé, Rowan holds an unflaggingly positive perspective on the potential of business, viewing it as an evolving masterpiece.

Rowan's LinkedIn Newletter
LockStep Global

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In Conversation with Daniele Bolelli. 

Danielle is the host of the incredible History on Fire Podcast. We get together from time to time and discuss the state of the world, our moment in history through the lenses of our individual and shared philosophies.

Daniele is wonderful conversationalist with a discerning eye on both our complicated human history and our troubling present moment.

We discuss

• the uniqueness of our shared moment in history,
• the general state of apathy that we find in company and conversation,
• dogmatic ideology,
• ideological capture,
• identity politics,
• our default psychological models of adapting to social challenge, and
• the disturbing trend of mass appeal of content and opinion on streaming services and the internet in general.

 Daniele's links: https://linktr.ee/danielebolelli

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In conversation with Agatha Nowicki, Hollywood actor, writer and soulful human caught at the very edge of the war for the human soul, playing out in the current battle of the writers' strike, sparked by the motions of the streaming platforms and the power brokers in Hollywood and Silicon Valley as they move to further disenfranchise artists and creatives in their ongoing quest for 'more'.

We discuss the strike, Agatha's own calling to vulnerability and expression through art and what the toll the unfolding madness is having not just on her own life, but on humanity.

We share our shared and private experiences from our recent walking tour in Ireland where we met as well as the rude return to 'normal' as we both struggled to integrate that powerful and transformative experience.

We also discuss the Murmuration project.

To Follow Agatha's work:

Instagram: @agaloves, @asilentkind 

Substack: A Silent Kind of Light 

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2063520/

Credit for the photography goes to Bodi Hallett, pictured at the end of that pier reaching out into Lough Inagh, is Agatha, contemplating the vastness.

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The episode brings to light the hidden struggle faced by creatives, thought-leaders -anyone who is looking to share their gifts with the world, who are increasingly outpaced by the algorithmic machinery and soul-dead formula of online engagement and marketing.

With my wonderful guest, Karna, we reflect on the startling reality of the tech industry's escalating race to maximize engagement at the expense of soul, in the arms race of human attention we encounter in online marketing today.

My guest is a talented and powerfully aligned human being who is challenging and re-engineering everything we think about marketing, how to approach it, how to execute and how to operate from a place of unwavering integrity and alignment where real creativity can blossom, where sincere connection can flourish, where it is fun, and where everyone wins, without compromise to their soul.

Karna is the champion and midwife of engagement ecosystems based on sincere connection.  This long form conversation and what Karna has to share, is well overdue in the world right now.

Please follow Karna: karnalivnau.com
Karna's substack: karnalivnau.substack.com
Karna's Instagram: instagram.com/_alignmentmarketing_

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As a society, we faced and struggled with the reality of mental illness long before it dawned on us, the crucial necessity for practicing Mental Health. 

In the same way, we have been living with the reality of spiritual illness long before it dawned on us as a species, the crucial and long overdue necessity to prioritise and practice Spiritual Health.

The project of mental health is necessary, but comparatively small. The invitation via Spiritual Wellness is so much deeper and vaster. We are so much deeper and vaster than we imagine. We are so incredibly empowered right now. We are standing on the threshold of Tomorrow.

This podcast episode is about the advocacy for the necessity and relevance of Spiritual Health and wellness, and how it is at the heart of all our Crisis of Meaning.

The message is: Take care of your spiritual health and your mental health will take care of itself. Recconnect with your sense of 'Soul' and your sense of meaning, of vitality and belonging will be found.

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"Who do you think you are?" is a complex question that reveals multiple dimensions of our self-perception, societal expectation, and the interplay of power dynamics. It questions our self-identity and the perception of others, highlighting the gap that often exists between the two. It underscores our tendencies to perceive the world, including others and ourselves, through subjective lenses. This statement is reminiscent of Anais Nin’s perspective that our understanding of the world is a reflection of our own selves.

Echoing Socrates' sentiments on the worth of an unexamined life, this question prompts us to self-reflect and introspect on who we believe we are. It prompts us to question the source of our power and the need for external validation.

Implicit in this inquiry is the accusation of arrogance, which can stem either from one's inability to accept their mistakes or from others' reluctance to accept one's correctness. Hence, having the courage to voice your truth, ensuring your self-awareness, welcoming challenges, and discerning the value of others' opinions, are vital steps in authentically answering this query.

In asking "Who do you think you are?", we are invited to confront and reconsider our own self-conceptions through honest self-exploration.

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50th Episode.

The term "soul" is often misunderstood due to its broad and varied interpretations across different cultures, religions, philosophies, and even individual beliefs. It's a concept that's both deeply personal and universally applicable, making it prone to a multitude of definitions and meanings.

The 'soul' is an innate, essential aspect of our existence, which has been overlooked in the face of societal and technological progression. This spiritual neglect has resulted in a sense of disconnection, isolation, and depletion within individuals and society. The 'soul' is the reservoir of spiritual health and the source of deeper meaning, symbolic understanding, and a sense of real connection to the broader universe.

However, the world we live in is predominantly dictated by the more egoic (and egotistic) perspective and the logical thinking of the left brain, overshadowing and disconnecting us from our 'souls', causing a deep crisis of meaning and spiritual illness. The potential for healing and reconnection lies in reawakening our 'souls' and restoring balance in our lives. The unfolding of our 'soul' is a continual process, parallel to the constant unfolding of our lives.

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In this episode we explore the deep and troubling implication of Breaking Promises, something that we believe defines everything noble about us, but also something we learn through life's seasons, is an inevitability. Promises have seasons which we cannot sustain without cost to ourselves and to the people held in the chains of those promises.

This episode continues the Ending Cycles arc of the last 4 episodes.

Our promises hold us, and the other person, to a place and a season, which we cannot contain without chaining us, and them, to a static smallness.  Our Promises are absolute and binding and cannot endure in a relative and changing world, and we break ourselves and limit ourselves in trying to keep them.

We look at the skilful way to release ourselves and other people from promises, with grace and the better way to define our commitments to our loved ones, to ourselves and the world; Making Agreements, and letting there be Terms.

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In our ongoing arc of shorter episodes processing necessary endings to make way for new beginnings, we look at the reality that some people are not open to growth or the level of self-honesty we need for connection and security. Sometimes reconciliation fails when the other person is not ready to have that level of conversation or that level of self-ownership.

There is still a way to process this with grace and compassion, as much for yourself as it is for them. We cannot please our way to happiness, and we cannot hold space for the weakness in others forever without incurring a cost to our own projects of growth.  Sometimes we have to choose ourselves.

This episode explores the way to find closure in that unfolding circumstance and how to Let Go and Walk Away.

Anything that does not bring us alive, is too small for us.

 

Goodbye, 

I cannot love you, 

because you never were a friend to me.

Goodbye, 

I cannot keep you, 

because you were unsafe to yourself.

Goodbye, 

I cannot care for you, 

because I cannot love you 

the way that you expect me to love. 

I can only love the way 

that is true in my heart, 

and for all the light 

I can wish into these eyes, 

I cannot see how you are true in yours.

Goodbye,

I cannot hold for you,

Because you are weak in the places

where I choose to be defenceless.

Goodbye,

I cannot trust you, 

because you are so reliable, 

to be the same as this, 

on any day,

when the wind stops blowing your way.

So reliable, to raise the flags of victimhood 

when we should be taking turns, 

adjusting the sails, 

adjusting our course,

and toiling at the oars.

Goodbye.

I cannot love you, because.

Because you don’t care for my ’because’, 

and yours has taken up all the room 

in our shared harbour.

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This episode explores the art of this ceremonial necessity of Reconciliation - and how it is possible only if it is mutual, but that we can lead with the invitation.

In a second of a 4 part series on ending cycles, and the ceremonies of closure and processing we need to observe to allow ourselves to fully move forward.

Reconciliation is not about trading forgiveness, it is about Understanding. It's about acknowledging our past actions and working through the consequences they have had on our relationships. It requires courage to recognize our own failings and willingness to improve upon them. It is not an act performed in solitude, but rather, a willing dance between two, stepping in rhythm with one another.

We never get taught the art of reconciliation. It is an art, and its canvas and easel are acknowledgement of the human experience of the other, and an acceptance of the necessary relationship between boundaries and healing, and of the appreciation of relative perspective.

My Friend

My friend. 

I do not ask you for forgiveness, 

nor for an apology. 

In that currency, 

let there be no fare

between us. 

I do not want for forgiveness, 

for I must forgive myself.

Do not ask me for forgiveness;

it was our great mistake 

to believe it is another’s to give.

I will tell you what it is that I want,

what my heart truly desires,

it is reconciliation;

between me and the all, 

and also between all things with each Other.

And I see fit to begin here, 

between you and I.

To be reconciled, 

we would earn and give the blessing

of being seen more fully

and thereby understood. 

Being that it always was 

ever and only ignorance

and pain

that lead us to the first wounding 

and the first spite.

And I would know 

that you are no longer ignorant, 

because I feel that I am not.

I have learned firstly 

that we are not always right, 

and that even when we are, 

we are not always kind.

And secondly, 

that good walls make good neighbors,

but the boundary needs careful mending

from both sides.

And I would make a stile 

between your fields

and mine

and with you, 

share its keep.

And I would know,

that you, by grace,

learned how to hold the pain 

you were given to carry, 

or perhaps 

how to let it go.

Because i know that I have.

And most of all,

there are treasures and keys 

and secrets and rare signs

and gems of humour 

that of all the people on this wide earth, 

I can only share with you.

© Rocco Jarman , March 2023

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In this deeply personal episode, I invite you to delve with me into profound themes of loss, transformation, forgiveness, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences and reflections encapsulated in a powerful piece I wrote about forgiveness, which is not just a bunch of words, but a vehicle that many friends and clients have found profound utility in, in their own journeys, getting ready to let go of who we were and what got us, here, and those we loved and who loved us into the person we are today. We look into the heart of the human experience and the transformative power of letting go.

The episode reflects on the essential role that loss and tension play in our personal transformation. Together, we explore the profound notion of "I release you, so that you may release me," discussing the interconnectedness of forgiveness, compassion, and self-love.

We unpack the concept of wholeness, not just as a state of being but as a gift that we give and receive. As we each embrace our unique paths, we learn to honor our scars as symbols of resilience, carriers of understanding, and harbingers of transformation.

Join me for this soul-nourishing episode that promises to leave you with a newfound appreciation for your personal journey and the transformative power of release. As we journey through a thoughtful exploration of love, loss, and growth, we are reminded that we are free, we are whole, and above all else, we are human.

Loss is a necessary part of change, change a necessary part of Growth.

The secret aim of all tension is Transformation.

Transcript of PRAYER FOR LETTING GO:  https://www.instagram.com/p/CpfAv4hvVKW/

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The core of the episode covers the idea that our work, our healing, our growth, begins with us. It is a powerful call to action. It advocates for the transformative power of self-understanding, self-compassion, and love in facilitating personal growth and meaningful relationships.

- The first in a series of shorter episodes, transcriptions from my work I have been trickle-feeding via Instagram for some years, in the project of self-ownership, and self-directed evolution.

We also cover the drag-down effect of social media and any other low-brow relationship or environment and the responsibility we have to curate that.
 

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An invitation to the MojoDojo, a session I ran to break away from the tedium of learning and lessons, a session is devoted to stopping, to leaving things alone, to coming to stillness and opening ourselves again to the Invitation, to the Deeper Conversation. We spend our hour together in reflection.

We explore the idea of Rewilding: a concept of honouring the process and grace of Nature, letting a place alone so Nature can re-establish itself. We come to a stillness, like coming to a sacred well, not to drink from an outside source, but to drink from our inner wellspring, even as we fill it with our allowing, and our being.

Secretly we are all longing for Belonging. We are in a desperate search for Meaning and Purpose. And we fill every space and every silence with urgent questions and hurried answers, and we end up taking shallow sips, and brushing right past the deep and ancient wellspring from which our true sense of nourishment and belonging actually stems.
 

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A thought-provoking insight about the enabling technology of AI and Machine Learning, and how, so often the way we walk through change and unfamiliar terrain has more to do with our stance and less with the very narrow question of whether it is good or bad.

We discuss how humans tend to immediately nucleate into camps and talk in convicted charged ways about things we don't take the time to fully understand before forging an opinion, and tend to miss a broader perspective on the issue than the simple binary of whether it is good or bad.

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In this reflections episode, we examine two prosaic pieces from my new book Keeper of the Flame, a Message from Tomorrow (available on Amazon)

These two pieces, under the titles, Letters to the Vigilant and Letters to the Sensitive, offer a strident critque of the current divisive far-left and far-right political signal and the state of dysfunction we are encountering in how those signals are boosted into social media to engage and madden the crowd.

The first piece explores the human obligation of listening to diverse voices and engaging in constructive dialogue, even when we disagree with them. It criticises the power of the mob, of cancel culture on both sides of the ailse, how the silencing of dissenting opinions and warns of the dangers of groupthink and mob mentality. 

The second piece urges specifically the woke, and the religious fundamentalists, to become resilient enough to face life's challenges with strength and compassion, while cautioning against becoming too sensitive to the words and ideas of others. It also warns of the dangers of those who seek to gain power through the persecution of others. 

Together, these pieces challenge us to move beyond the divisive rhetoric of the far-left and far-right and instead, promote open-mindedness, critical thinking, and respectful dialogue.

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