Fare of the Free Child

Peace, #fofcpod fam! This week we’re still focused on the letter U for understanding as part of our P.A.U.S.E.werk. Domari (of Positive and Purposeful Parenting) and Akilah hosted the listening party, and Jonie, Reese, Ana Maria, and Erica joined live to share and hear feedback and touchpoints. Together, they reflected and inquired about our relationship with understanding, how autonomy and trust are intertwined, the many layers around discomfort, compassion, trust, and then some.

Let’s agree to disagree

Our two hosts reflect on what they’ve been noticing around their relationships and pause work, on the importance of taking the space to go through certain feelings, crying, for example, as a liberation practice. As our hosts speak and share their stories, pausing and understanding emerge as key components in the trust work that builds up community and healthy partnership.

Check some of the offerings the listeners gave us during this Listening Party Live Chat

“In my family, disagreement equals disrespect.” - Erica

“For me, I’ve been working on shedding the belief that needing to be understood equals being loved. I think I've tried so hard to get the members of my family to understand me when I think what I was really looking for was compassion, and not actually needing to be understood.” - Ana Maria

“I’m feeling into understanding so much more as a verb, it’s not a set destination, it’s movement, it shifts, morphs and transforms.” - Jonie

Careese shares some thoughts about Ieishah’s reflection on gentle parenting as a privilege. If you missed the previous episode you can replay it here Episode. 249: U for Understanding and get more details.

Then Akilah pulls a card from the Raising Free People practice deck:

AUTONOMY:

Take up space, let them take up space too, practice allowing yourself and them to take up space, work it until it invites boundaries that work.

Remember that the Raising Free People Card Deck is available now, click here to order it.

Next week we will be talking about the S in P.A.U.S.E. for sorting or shedding, we will reflect on what’s good for your family and what might need releasing or re-imagining?

LIBERATION WALK

• We love feedback, so don’t be shy and share some thoughts by pressing that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side or email Akilah and speak up about today's revelations she@raisingfreepeople.com
• Subscribe to Akilah’s Youtube Channel
• Give us some feedback about this episode, reflect inside

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

This week we’re focused on the letter U for understanding in our P.A.U.S.E.werk. Listen as we talk about the language of conscious parenting, the difference between dialogue and discussion, and then some.

Domari and Akilah take us through some of their noticings about how understanding and control impact their relationships, and not just as mothers. Also, be ready for an insightful convo about an Instagram post where Ieishah Clelland (our Season 7 Co-Producer) questioned gentle parenting as a privilege. Akilah cites Dr. Sundiata’s distinction between dialogue and discussion as we question our relationship with understanding, and with discomfort. So much goodness in here! Pull out your pause pad and join us.

Madd Question Askin' Understanding Essay for people committed to Raising Free People

There is a link between Understanding and control, and in our efforts to become more partner-centered parents and caregivers,

we've got to look into that link.

Control is not inherently a negative thing,

but when control is our goal and we don't even realize it,

we can demand things from children

in the name of understanding,

when really what we're after is a sense of control.

Control is comforting.

Control feels like certainty,

yet comfort and certainty aren't always what's needed in a relationship.

Is it a child's job to be controllable?

Is it a child's job to give us a sense of certainty?

How do we impact children when we don't understand something they do?

And how much of our need to understand is tied to our desire to feel

like we're in control and we're sure about what's going on?

When are my efforts to control a child appropriate?

and when are they more about my lack of understanding?

Here’s a resource for working through the questions and feelings you will face as you let yourself ask better questions:

Restorative Justice and Conscious Parenting workshop. Happening Sunday, May 1st. Be ready for interactive exercises and group discussions, where we’ll learn the roots of restorative justice work, the basics of the restorative process, and how this supports your conscious parenting process, harm caused by supremacy culture, and other oppressive systems.

Discomfort is a significant part of understanding

Shout out to Ieishah who put this on the table and made us inquire about our relationship to discomfort. Ieishah reflects on conscious parenting and gentle parenting. Is our capacity for gentle parenting or to treat humans l

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Welcome #fofcpod fam! This episode is the continuation of our Listening Party Replay around the letter A (for Absences) in PAUSE. We’ll be inquiring more about what’s missing, understanding, compassion, and boundaries as we navigate through the ups and downs that may arise from this PAUSEwerk. Domari of Positive and Purposeful Parenting is in da house along with Ana Maria, Lou, Antoinette, and Joni who joined us in the Live Chat. Let's get into it!

Domari named some of the things she has been noticing around her relationship with her children. The words that resonated the most for her were compassion and trust. She reflects on what compassion looks like for her and also questions the misconception around what productivity means, and how sometimes she had struggled by feeling bad and unproductive for resting, being “lazy”.

Boundaries do not require understanding

Our hosts chat about boundaries and the layers around them. Akilah mentions the struggles we might face with different parts of ourselves: the compassionate self (intuitive) vs the schoolish self, and mentioned the patois that needs to be created to hold our intentions, the other person’s intentions, and the thing we’re looking to create.

Akilah also shares the importance of trustwork, seeing relationships not as transactional/productive but as connections, as in what we notice together and what our healing work looks like.

This week’s pull from the Raising Free People practice deck revealed the Layer card (same card from the last pull):

• Layer: If I can access grace in this moment, I may choose to offer it in honor of all the many layers that comprise this person I love. And if I do, might that be enough for me, for now?

Next week we’ll be having a deep conversation about U for understanding, but for now, Madd Question Askin’ time:

• How can I check in with children about what they feel they need from me?
• What's being communicated in this moment?
• Which layer am I focusing on right now?
• Which layer feels present?

LIBERATION WALK

• Give us some feedback about this episode, reflect inside FOFC Village, or directly in our Make It Happen Family on Patreon
• Share some thoughts and press that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side or email Akilah and think about what feels missing? at she@raisingfreepeople.com
• Subscribe to Akilah’s Youtube Channel

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Here we go #fofcpod friends! Let’s continue with this 70-day PAUSE journey, along with the amazing Domari Dickinson of Positive and Purposeful Parenting.

• P is for Pain Points
• A is for absences
• U is for understanding
• S for sorting or shedding
• E for exploration

Episode 247 is part one of the Listening Party around the letter A (for Absences) in PAUSE, so we’re offering you affirmations and snippets from conversations all in service of our current PAUSEwerk. What’s missing? What feels lost or otherwise missing from your relevant relationships?

Akilah and Domari place their attention on some of the things that once, or even now, feel absent in their relationships or practices. The invitation is for you to slow down, discern, and align.

Since healthy boundaries tend to be one of the more common missing elements, we touch on those in this episode, and will expand that exploration when we touch U for Understanding in two weeks. In the meantime, what’s your relationship to boundaries?

Are you a confident boundary setter?

Cautious but willing boundary setter?

Do you suck at setting boundaries?

SING ALONG

Hush Little Parent Homie, sung by Val Sinclair:

Hush little parent homie you ain’t gotta say a word,

but some of your beliefs are pretty absurd,

they came from your Mama and she got them from hers,

but it’s time to stop and think ‘cause they ain’t gotta be yours.

Hush little parent homie don’t perpetuate

schoolish colonizer-minded traits,

We took them in, in attempts to survive,

but they don’t apply now; we tryna thrive.

So, hush little parent homie don’t perpetuate

schoolish colonizer-minded traits.

• https://www.instagram.com/valandourplants/
• http://valandourplants.com/

AFFIRMATIONS

1. 

Boundaries are vital to my life’s design,

in fact, my boundaries are invitations for us to align,

it’s ok not to love it, I ain’t askin’ for no shrine,

just affirming what I need and honoring what’s mine.

2.

I am worthy, I am loved,

I am safe, I am free,

and when I choose to pause,

that’s liberation work for me.

I reject the option of performing a life

and choose to authentically design mine.

I am in partnership with this child

I am not in partnership with people’s opinions about my child.

I show up, I listen, I lean, I let.

Download this episode so that you can record your version of the words that you connect with. And join us on Monday, April 18th at 1 PM Eastern for part two of this discussion about what’s missing.

LIBERATION WALK

• Shout out

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

This week on #fofcpod we're serving insightful thoughts, feedback, and resources based on our current PAUSEwerk flow.

The letter of the week is P, for Pain Points: What’s the matter? What took you here? What things feel like pain, discomfort, uncertainty? What is coming up for you and for the people that you’re closest to right now?

This episode is our first Listening Party, the space where we focus on your feedback about an aspect of pausing, as well as our own insights and struggles.

Akilah and Domari continue unraveling the layers of perfection vs pleasure: they speak about Black Excellence and the pressure of feeling that all that you do is never enough.

Can pause be a privilege?

“The more success I feel, the harder it is for me to accept that I can pause.” - Akilah

“I don’t like that. I’m not like that”. - Domari

In this episode, you’ll notice that we’re just getting the hang of the tech for this new format—but you’ll still get a feel for what these listening parties are about!

Every other Monday, we’ll be at it again, so join Domari and Akilah as live audience members (no video necessary)!

The next Listening Party is Monday, April 18th at 1 PM Eastern.

We LOVE feedback

We listened to Zeba Savage from Savage Learning Environment who brought up the importance of pausing, and the pressure of being perfect. Then, our homie, Vanessa Molano, shared their thoughts from one of the cards that Domari pulled from the Raising Free People practice decks (the Layers card), and pointed out their experiences with boundaries and grace. Raising Free People Card Deck is available now, click here to order it.

These comments are gems in the work we do, so thank you for contributing to this ecology that moves us away from tools of oppression and towards our personal healing journeys.

More Resources

Dr. Sundiata teamed up with Maryella Marie and Tomis Parker, two other SDE-minded facilitators, to create an amazing offering: The live virtual training, “Co-creating a Thriving Family Culture.” This will take place on the weekend of April 23 to the 24. They’re offering tools that will help you on being intentional about learning new skills and processes to make decisions and resolve conflicts in peaceful and collaborative ways.

Liberation WALK

Here are a couple of gems to take your time and think about:

• “If I pause, who is going to fill the space left by all of the people who told us how to be in the world?”
• “Can I afford to pause?”

Give us some feedback about this episode, reflect inside

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

It’s storytime #fofcpod fam and we‘re so excited to continue with this 70-day PAUSE journey along with the amazing Domari Dickinson of Positive and Purposeful Parenting.

Ep 245 is live! We’re listening and taking a look at the skills that are happening in between the defined things. In this episode in particular, we are observing the ways we react to our pain points, so breathe in, breathe out, pull out your pause pad, take some notes, and let’s play together! Remember that we’re in the process of noticing what sometimes can’t be easily named nor understood, so try to feel into the experiences that you have with these questions, without expectations, without judgment, only your attention.

**Use this link to join our live audience (no video, just chat, unless you ask to join us on air in the chat) on Monday, April 4th at 2PM Eastern.** These every-other-weekly listening parties are where Domari and Akilah invite you to play and struggle through specific aspects of pausewerk with them, real time. Listen to Episode 244:There is Real Power in the Pause tho! to hear details on the flow of this season’s 70-day pausewerk focus.

Today is P day and we’ll work through all the pain points: What’s the matter? What took you here? What things feel like pain, discomfort, uncertainty? What is coming up for you and for the people that you’re closest to right now?”

Domari pulled a card from the Raising Free People practice deck.

Layers: If I could access grace in this moment, I may choose to offer it in honor of all the many layers that comprise this person I love. And if I do, might that be enough for me, for now?

The Raising Free People Card Deck is available now, click here to order it.

“What would change in my life if I chose to pursue pleasure instead of perfection? - Domari

Domari shares her experience with her children on how they respond when a conflict appears. Akilah talks about the struggles and worries that may show up for parents around how and whether learning is happening, and how pausing can offer the space we often need to learn how to recognize and trust learning.

“I’ve now started to look at my children’s resistance as one of their gifts. One of the things that society—which I am part of—didn’t pry out of their hands.” - Akilah

Akilah speaks about Marley and Sage’s approaches to resolving conflicts, and how much she is learning from their approaches. Both hosts also speak about the nuances of the term “readiness,” and the role of resistance as a powerful gift in our efforts to raise free people.

Throughout Akilah and Domari’s convo there are 10 points of Madd Question Askin’ energy for you to get into:

• What brings you pleasure?
• What does pleasure look and feel like to you?

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Season 8 is here and we are kickin’ it with the homie, Domari Dickinson of Positive and Purposeful Parenting. She is our co-producer for the season, and we’re in alignment about the need to spend all season on the importance of slowing down, and pausing.

We’ve got invitations, resources, and some songs too! We are so grateful to you all #fofcpod fam and Make it Happen family for your love and connection throughout this journey. Our team got some rest, and we’re back with this focus, so we hope y’all ready to get and do this PAUSEcast werk!

If you want to get familiar (or re-familiar) with Domari’s dopeness, listen to Episode 185: Parenting Paradigm Shifts in Black Families.

Here’s what to expect this season...

We are working on being more mindful about the ways we show up for ourselves. So this season, we invite your consent to show up as you are, slow down, and feel into the ups and downs of this 70-day pause journey.

Starting next week, each letter in PAUSE will get our full attention with two episodes each: - the first episode will bring you into the work with a story, a song, or a skit; the second episode will be live, and we’ll invite you to play and struggle through that aspect of pause.

Acronym:

• P is for Pain Points: What’s the matter? What took you here? What's hurting them? What’s coming up for you and your relationship with yourself or your family?
• A is for absences: What’s missing? What feels lost or otherwise missing from your relevant relationships?
• U is for understanding: dialogue as a practice; conscious parenting; how have you been operating as a parent or educator? Under what premises?
• S for sorting or shedding: What’s good for your family and what might need releasing or re-imagining?
• E for exploration: what are some resources you can tap into, based on where you are right now?

Then we’ll keep that going until we feel all the way through P-A-U-S-E. Through this game, Akilah and Domari will engage you beyond the moment to feel the PAUSE as an experience. So make some tea, pull out your dedicated pause pad, and join us for a 70-day journey of affirmations and reflections in the ecology of Raising Free People. Do you want to play with us?

Season’s 8 flow - Raising Free People Card Deck

Akilah pulled a card from the Raising Free People practice decks:

• AUTONOMY: Take up space, let them take up space too, practice allowing yourself and them to take up space. Work it until it invites boundaries that work.

The set of Raising Free People Card Deck is available now, click here to order it.

Season Witnesses: We are working together to offer bridgework for folks in the philanthropic world.

What is a witness? Our witnesses wan

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Ending season 7 with gratitude, reminders, and major writing mojo

Closing out season seven with major gratitude for you, #fofcpod fam! Your feedback and encouragement have been part of an active listening practice that opens up our mindset to different possibilities as we grow this village of/for people raising and being free people. This episode brings us some resources, reminders, and clues of what’s to come in season eight. See you in a few months!

Here are the Season 7 series in case you missed any episodes:

Fare of the Free (Man) Child series: Co-produced with Tony Galloway's series on manhood and masculinity.

Episode 224: Deschooling Adulthood with Tony Galloway

Episode 232: Learning (and Unlearning) Masculinity

Episode 233: Deschooling Manhood and Masculinity

Episode 234: Kris joins Tony for the recap of #fofmanchild (Feel Trip)

Māori Mother Wisdom series: Co-produced with Ieishah Clelland-Lang liberation-centered parenting and living.

Episode 237: On Māori Mother Wisdom (The Language Episode)

Episode 238: On Māori Mother Wisdom (The ‘Old Knowings’ Episode)

Episode 239: Vibin’ off Māori Mother Wisdom (The ‘Feedback’ Episode)

Episode 240: Series Closing: Māori Mother Wisdom

Some announcements and reminders

• Thanks to our Make It Happen Family. There are already 252 of you and we deeply appreciate it!
• Raising Free People book was translated into Spanish version, shout out to Ruben, Citlali, Isabel, Abby, Kris, and Miguel!
• Shout out #fofcpod core team: Juan Pablo, Daniela, Kris, Fatima, Vanessa, Romain, Marley, David and Vicki; Co-producers: Tony Galloway and Ieishah Clelland-Lang
• Shawna Murray-Browne, a liberation-centered integrative psychotherapist will be part of SDE weekend. Akilah will be there with many other folks sharing great experiences and content around Self-Directed Education. Be sure to check in from 7th – 9th of January 2022

Audio by Raising Free People Network

In addition to Fare of the Free Child Podcast, Audio by Raising Free People Network produces other podcasts from which we hear some updates throughout this final episode of the season.

Check out the

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

We're continuing our language vibe this week on #fofcpod episode! First, you'll hear from Juan Pablo Pérez, audio manager of Fare of the Free Child, as he shares his thoughts on Episode 241: Freeing Your Approach to Language Studies (with Marley Richards). He talks about his experience as a Spanish native speaker who, like Marley, taps into language as a way of developing an identity that includes more than the culture he was born into. Juan's interests in music, for example, sit outside his cultural background, and those experiences help Juan Pablo to feel a strong sense of self that isn't limited by location or familiarity.

For the rest of the episode, Akilah gives us some gems about the importance of language and the many ways we can engage it as parts of our unschooling and deschooling practices. And of course, #maddquestionaskin is all up and through the episode.

Is there a difference between a definition of a word and an understanding of a word?

How have words evolved from having a definition to having a meaning?

Akilah refers to language as something that goes beyond the accent and vocabulary, and something we can see as being part of a whole culture and context, and not some isolated thing that we pluck from a culture.

Who is this language tied to?

What are some of the non-verbal cues of this culture? How can I learn more about body language, symbols, and other elements of communication and culture?

Akilah shared some of the conversation she had with Zakiyya Ismail (at the Summerhill Festival of Childhood) about the evolution of these particular words in their unschooling journeys:

Learning

Power

Trust

Community

Resistance

Akilah pulled a card from the Raising Free People practice decks and invited us this activity:

1. Think about these words (that comprise this deck),
2. Choose two or three of them and sit with the evolution of your understanding of that word.

Akilah explains through her experience with Spanish the insights and learning process of making associations. She also talks about words that are very specific to her practices and the understanding of them. She then reflects on the her experiences that came with recognizing herself as both oppressed to oppressor, and how that shows up in her motherwork.

LIBERATION WALK

• Listen and jam along with Miss Lou - Long time Gal on Bajanbloom Bloom's Youtube channel
• Akilah would love to receive some feedback about this episode. Think about the Card Deck words. Go on and press that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side or email her at she@raisingfreepeople.com
• Join our

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Welcome #fofcpod fam! Today's vibe is insightful conversation about language acquisition, culture, and how to learn stuff, with seventeen year-old unschooler, Marley Richards. Japanese and Korean languages are integrated parts of Marley's daily practices, so she shares with us some of the ways these languages have influenced and impacted her identity as a Black girl. Marley also speaks about some of the tools she uses for language study.

What are some ways you can support your/a child in expanding their experience with a language they want to learn? #maddquestionaskin

Long story-short…

Many children are learning Japanese and Korean as a result of their appreciation for Anime and K-pop culture. Marley was among them; she started learning Japanese at around age 7 or 8, when she got passionate about Anime. Soon enough she started feeling the limitations of the translation that she was getting from English subtitles, and felt she was getting a diluted version of what the people who made the thing had intended. By learning Japanese, she felt a wider understanding of the world as language was connected to other elements of life, and of her interests, and of broader world culture. For Marley, studying a language went beyond grammar and accent, and transformed into a way of being and living.

Marley’s key elements for language study:

• Being highly motivated and intentional
• Full exposure to the foreign language - Immersive experience
• Making associations from what you already know
• Japanese tip: Anime series help in general with the nouns, verbs, and sentence construction BUT in terms of vocabulary and accent you should check for a different source

Akilah shares her own learning process and experience with Spanish (check below for some resources). Then, she and Marley chat about the expectations people might have based on language stereotypes and assumptions people may make about others.

If you integrate different elements from another culture, does that make you less Black, Korean, Latinx…? #maddquestionaskin

LIBERATION WALK

• Check out these Spanish sources that Akilah has been nurturing from: Erica Ray and Mike Ben
• Also, go and see Mike’s video: How to Find a Good Language Tutor/Language Exchange Partner - Things to Look Out For
• https://howtospanishpodcast.com/ This is another dope Spanish language learning resource (podcast)
• Akilah would love to receive some feedback about this episode. Do you have any language tips? Go on and press that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side or email her at she@raisingfreepeople.com
• Join our

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

This week on #fofcpod we are closing the Māori Mother Wisdom series about liberation-centered parenting and living. We've had the pleasure of connecting with Māori stories from Mea Rapata, Angella Smith, Moana Reihana, and Tina Talaić. These are select excerpts from our feel trip (live group meetups about our episodes), where Akilah and our series co-producer, Ieishah Clelland-Lang, vibed with Mea, Angella, and some of our Village family. We reflect on the importance of the trustworthiness of feelings, and the levels of connection that live inside active listening, and non-verbal language, as well as other kinds of human technology like collaboration, echolocation, identity and community-building.

Who we innately are - The Energy of Feelings

• how aspects of Māori spaces have been compromised by colonialism
• the significance of going back into a knowledge space that recognizes connection to land, ancestors and relationships
• an intrinsic feeling and connection to their original epistemologies.

“We don't have to compress what we are in order to be together”. Akilah S Richards

Angella also points out the sacredness of their indigenous language Te Reo Māori (Māori language) and how important it is to speak up and take action to keep the integrity and the sacredness. We also chat about identity and the mindful work of looking at your indigeneity, and looking beyond the labels so it can open up spaces to regenerate, heal, and identify with authenticity.

In case you haven’t heard the previous conversations we’ve had on this topic, be sure to listen to Māori Mother Wisdom series from the start:

Episode 237: On Māori Mother Wisdom (The Language Episode)

Episode 238: On Māori Mother Wisdom (The ‘Old Knowings’ Episode)

Episode 239: Vibin’ off Māori Mother Wisdom (The ‘Feedback’ Episode)

Don’t miss next week’s episode! We will start another series of conversations with Marley, an unschooler and SDE advocate who will chat about language. See y’all soon!

LIBERATION WALK

• Join our Podcast Village so you don’t miss any of our Feel Trip invitations
• Check on Lou Hollis of Grief, Growth and Goals Podcast for some great content
• Akilah would love to receive some feedback about this episode. Go on and press that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side or email her at she@raisingfreepeople.com
• Join patreon.com/akilah and support the show
• Subscribe to

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

#Maddquestionaskin

What does it mean to own your sense of sovereignty?

Welcome to another #fofcpod episode. As you know we’re in the thick of the wonderful Māori Mother Wisdom series, and are vibrating with gratitude for your engagement with us, in all of this goodness. We kick off this episode with feedback from author, speaker, activist and educator Sonya Renee Taylor who has been listening to this series and loving it! We also share some feedback we’ve gotten from Jonie, Yolande, Got2BOshun, and Kateri (thank y'all!). Then Akilah and Ieishah Clelland-Lang revisit some gems from these previous conversations, and speak about migration, reparenting, echolocation (yes, chile!), unschooling, and then some.

Don’t miss our Feel Trip to close out the Māori Mother Wisdom series, where Akilah and Ieishah will kick it with the Village family, and a few of our series guests are slated to join the chat. It's happening Friday, December 3rd. Join our Podcast Village so you don’t miss any of our Feel Trip invitations.

Akilah pulled a card from one of the Raising Free People practice decks:

Reparenting: “No way around it, so gather some resources around your pain and change and growth and self-trust so that you can move out of situation and into self.”

PAIN, SELF-TRUST, MOVE OUT…

Akilah reflects on what moving away means, centering migration as a keyword in this conversation. They speak about looking back and respecting the past versions of themselves, appreciating the wisdom each has brought to them. What does it mean to move away from the elements of parenting that we were raised with? What positives and difficulties are implicit in quitting the parts that don't resonate with us? What is the cost we pay to seek our authentic selves? What are we currently moving away from?

“Reparenting ourselves is not about what happened back then, but about what we have the right and the wisdom to do now.”

Location system - Migrating into our authentic self

Ieishah and Akilah talk about how the ability to "locate" ourselves in certain situations can be a form of good resistance, to how the knowledge of why we must observe, listen and question different mindsets and ideas, it’s a never-ending process that evolves and changes all the time.

“Trust, resistance, education, that’s how I can put my understanding into practice”. Akilah S. Richards

Reclaiming culture: Take and give back

Ieishah and Akilah speak to the relevance of culture and nature as key points in unschooling, and Ieishah brings more insights from her related experience at the unschooling camp in Aotearoa. They chat about the "intelligence energies" that come through the collect

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Welcome #fofcpod fam! We’re getting into our second exploration on the Māori series co-produced with the incredible Ieishah Clelland-Lang. This 4-part series centers Māori unschooling mothers’ knowledge and narratives, to invite us to deepen our understandings of the layers within motherhood, childhood, community, and culture. Join us and listen to Ieishah’s conversations with Angella Smith and Tina Talaić, plus a a bit more from Akilah.

If you're feeling these episodes, don’t miss our Feel Trip about this Māori series! On Friday, December 3rd at 4pm EST, Ieishah and Akilah will join the other members of Fare of the Free Child Village to talk, to ask, and to listen, with this series in mind and in heart. It's free and it's part of the My Reflection Matters Community vibe, so put that in your calendar, bruh! Here's the direct link again (it'll prompt you to join My Reflection Matters for free).

As a reminder, last week, Moana Reihana and Mea Rapata shared some unschooling mothers’ wisdom and invitations; go and listen, in case you haven’t: Episode 237: On Māori Mother Wisdom (The Language Episode).

Notes from this week...

Children will show you the way.

Angella grew up in a dichotomous environment, on one side she was sharing Te Reo Māori (Māori language) as a living language at home in her Marae with her family, and on the other, her student life going to a convent school where Christianity was King. She speaks about her transition into unschooling and why she decided to go through that path when she gave birth to her children. Angella also talks about the importance of listening as a point of connection, to surrender and listen to our intuition. She explains that our intuition remembers, and that children already have their inner knowings and that these are important, innate qualities.

White privilege - what we were conditioned to be.

Angella and Ieishah speak about racism, colonialism, and white privilege. Angella explains that white privilege was something she couldn’t understand as a child, her people were conditioned to be compliant and very subservient. Then, as she grew up, she gathered some understanding and was able to make a rediscovery and question for herself what Māori is, what’s hers and what’s not, what has been taken away, and what can be transformed to thrive and survive. This level of madd question-askin is part of what continues to support what the people in her circle have been building as a community. As they build, they create their own definitions of success, and for Angella, part of that succession lives in the way new generations get to grow up to be free people.

Unschooling Camp Reflections.

Tina and Ieis

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Basically this:

We talk about reclaiming language, sovereignty, relationship with motherhood, community, culture, intergenerational relationships, childhood, ancestors, and unschooling among other key topics. In this episode you will hear about intentional living and parenting why's and what's in Te Reo Māori (Māori language) and also in English.

The whole story...

#fofcpod has teamed up with brilliant writer, nomad, and unschooling mama, Ieishah Clelland-Lang to co-produce this 4-part series centering fours Māori unschooling mothers' wisdom and invitation. They are all based in Aeotearoa (Māori name for what we know as New Zealand), in the South Pacific. You'll hear about these women's relationships with reclaiming (when necessary) and sustaining strong connections to their community and culture. Through these narratives we can all expand our perceptions of mothering and honor the different layers of motherwork.

This week, in Part 1, you'll hear from Moana Reihana and Mea Rapata, in addition to hearing from Ieishah and Akilah. Over the next two episodes, you'll also hear from Angella Smith and Tina Talaić, as well as the energies that all 6 of us bring into the space through meaningful inquiry and real commitment to keep much of our culture alive and thriving beyond us.

Three generations to regain a language - Unschooling and tradition

Moana shares her experience and the reason why she learned her native language by herself as an adult. None of her family members were able to speak the language at that time, so they also started to regain this ancestral knowledge years later. This helped Moana to reclaim traditional knowledge that she wanted to share with her children and future generations. They also speak about the importance of language as a liberation tool and as a choice that offers connection and more ways to listen. How do we deal with newer generations and balance our ideas with tradition?

Learning how to be a guest

Ieishah and Akilah talk about the importance of “witnessing” as a way of making space through observation, and being willing to stop and listen to others so that we can be the least intrusive when we are guests in someone else’s space. Moana and Mea allow us to listen to their stories from vulnerable and authentic spaces by sharing their connection with nature, their ancestors, and themselves. They speak to a sense of belonging and invite us to think about what we are being instead of focusing on what we are doing. Ieishah and Akilah also speak to how unschooling can help us with our observation skills so that we can develop trust in our partnership with our children.

More about Ieishah...

Ieishah is a writer, nomad and unschooling mama of two brown girls. She is a New Yorker of Caribbean descent. If you want to hear more from Ieishah you can listen to previous conversations on

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

This week on #fofcpod, we’re inquiring about the idea of an unbothered child. Is “unbothered” a status reserved for worthy adults? Or can children claim it too? We’re moving through some thoughts around liberation work and education perceptions that center the decolonization of intergenerational practices, so this also means Madd Question Askin’ time!

Listen in as Akilah acknowledges how our family members and friends might feel about unschooling during the holidays, and some of them may not understand what unschooling and other types of Self-Directed Education look like. Because of this, they sometimes openly question some of the ideas and practices around them. How might we learn from their reactions and begin to recognize our mindful responses as actual skill sets?

Here’s a 2017 episode where Akilah points out a few specific ideas, and recommendations of what we can do: Episode 56: Managing Unschoolers' Holiday Anxiety.

Excerpt source.

"Dis Long Time Gal Mi Neva See You"

"This is a song that tells of two people who have not seen each other for a long time. The singer invites the other party to allow him to hold her (gal/gyal) hand in a greeting as they wheel and turn and dance and jig.

https://youtu.be/_Fy39wPedmY

The first video is of the legendary Jamaican icon, Mrs Louise Bennett Coverly, singing the song. She was very instrumental in breaking cultural barriers that saw the local language (patois) being frowned upon by the "most affluent" in the Jamaican society who would have preferred to have everyone speaking the adopted "Queens language" or proper English. Miss Lou (as she is fondly called, got people to accept the fact that our language is our language no matter whatever other language we may adopt. She also played a very instrumental role in the Jamaican folk songs rising to prominence."

Madd Question Askin’ out loud!!

• Do children get to be unbothered? If so, what does that look like for a child?
• Is unbothered a skill reserved for grownups like trust or respect?
• Are children not trustworthy?
• Minding your business is community care and self-care
• What unbothered might look like as a skill set?

LIBERATION WALK

• Join our Podcast Village so you don’t miss any of our Feel Trip invitations!
• Share some thoughts by pressing that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side to let Akilah know what do you think of this episode or email her at she@raisingfreepeople.com
• Subscribe to

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Welcome to another #fofcpod episode! We hope that you enjoyed Fare of the Free (Man) Child series as much as we did. Thanks to Tony for co-producing these insightful conversations around masculinity, identity, adulthood, diversity, childhood, gender, and other topics that resonated with us. We had the chance to question, name things, deschool and discuss—it was so good, and so necessary!

In case you haven’t heard, here are some previous episodes with Anthony:

Ep 12: How He's Using His Gifts

Episode 31: Solutions to Whitewashed Self-Directed Education

Episode 61: Deschooling Release Party: Time for Self

Episode 215: Fare of the Free Man Child (A Tony Galloway Ting)

Episode 224: Deschooling Adulthood with Tony Galloway

Episode 232: Learning (and Unlearning) Masculinity

Episode 233: Deschooling Manhood and Masculinity

Episode 234: Kris joins Tony for the recap of #fofmanchild (Feel Trip)

Nowadays, we are feeling surrounded by the energy of migration away from schoolishness and into more sovereign, more human-centered relationships. As we move forward in Season 7 you’ll be hearing more from our earthwide community, others well on their migration journeys, who have useful tools and toys for our journey. We’re here to share and offer resources for more self-directed ways as we’re raising and being free people.

We’re gonna go back in time and listen to a snippet from a previous Feel Trip that we had with Domari Dickinson in a convo with Tony Galloway. You can find the full conversation for free at patreon.com/akilah.

You'll also hear from Tebogo Modisane to listen as she spoke with us about a current project she and part of Limpopo’s community are working on in Mabose, South Africa. She describes it as a natural building adventure and her vision of sharing knowledge on plant-based nutrition, vitamins, and herb information to consumers. Tebogo recently acquired a small property where she plans to establish an organic and indigenous herb plantation, tree producing, storing, and agro-processing homestead called Ha Se Lehola. In this space, they will be offering education around plant identification, growing, and preparation of plant remedies. The products that have been in production include avocado seed

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

We're closing out Tony Galloway's series on manhood and masculinity this week, and the convo, as usual, is fyah! Kris Richards joins Tony to wrap up this season's Fare of the Free (Man) Child series with reflections from past episodes and current events. The two talk about identity, adulthood, diversity, childhood, gender, manhood, power dynamics, masculinity, and some of the different labels around those topics. Because definitions are always going to be biased to our experiences, they discuss some of the ways their environment has molded them as they grew up, and reflect upon what they were taught compared to what they currently understand and feel about those definitions.

People's commitment to labels - Category is… Manhood

Tony and Kris also chat about the interactions that take place when we speak about power dynamics in manhood. They share their experiences and the way people label others in partnership, how people put so much trust in the traditional definitions of manhood and womanhood, and the issues therein.

Then they talk about masculinity and its categories. They mention that this definition keeps changing based on varying ideas about manhood, including who men "should" want attention from, and the need to perform certain “male” characteristics to feel accepted or validated by the otherness.

Marketing and shadow figures

Patriarchy and sexism leave serious damages in society, Tony talks about shadow figures that profit from polarizing and normalizing hegemonic discourses that benefit only a few.

Tony's last four episodes:

Episode 215: Fare of the Free Man Child (A Tony Galloway Ting).

Episode 224: Deschooling Adulthood with Tony Galloway

Episode 232: Learning (and Unlearning) Masculinity

Episode 233: Deschooling Manhood and Masculinity

LIBERATION WALK

• The full conversation that includes 10 more minutes will be on patreon.com/akilah join us to have some more
• Get to know more of Tony and check his artwork
• Share some thoughts by pressing that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side to let Tony know what do you think of this episode
• Join our Podcast Village and don’t miss any of our Feel Trip invitations!
• Subscribe to Akilah’s Youtube Channel

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Welcome to another #fofcpod episode! As you know, October is Fare of the Free Man Child month, so get comfy and join our special host Tony Galloway Jr. in conversation with ten of his college fellas: Elijah Martin, Terry Lyles, Travis Amsterdam, Markyle Rondon, Kyle Moore, Sheps King, Fred Spite, Henri Battiste, Deshon Jones, and Curtis Webb.

Each shares their thoughts on gender roles, accountability, and the complexity in naming masculinity due to the many layers around its meaning. Tony and friends navigate and question some of the previous notions and narratives they had around manhood and identity, like what it means to be strong, to be the provider and other stereotypically masculine qualities. They also speak about their experiences growing up and the patterns they began to unlearn throughout that journey. They explore some of the ways their understanding of the relationships and interactions between the masculine and the feminine have changed over time. They pose questions like, what does deschooling manhood and masculinity look like?

This group also chat about the balance between intuition and rationality, which characteristics or qualities are part of that dichotomy, and how rich it is to find different shades within it. Deep and interesting convos up in here, so you don't want to miss them!

In case you haven’t heard previous episodes go ahead and check them all:

Episode 215: Fare of the Free Man Child (A Tony Galloway Ting).

Episode 224: Deschooling Adulthood with Tony Galloway

Episode 232: Learning (and Unlearning) Masculinity

LIBERATION WALK

• Follow Tony on Instagram!
• Share some thoughts by pressing that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side to let Tony know what do you think of this episode
• Join our Podcast Village and don’t miss any of our Feel Trip invitations!
• Subscribe to Akilah’s Youtube Channel

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

Welcome #fofcpod fam! We are so excited to share a new episode with our special host Anthony “Tony” Galloway Jr. This is Tony's third venture on the Fare of the Free Man Child series. If you missed the first two episodes go check them out:

Episode 215: Fare of the Free Man Child (A Tony Galloway Ting).

Episode 224: Deschooling Adulthood with Tony Galloway

In this episode Tony and two of his college roommates, Anthony D. Janifer and Stanley D. Cochran Jr., explore their perspectives around masculinity and manhood. They question, among other topics, the way they perform their masculinity and the patterns and distinctions around it, they also speak about personal relationships, power relationships, dating, shadow work, gender, stereotypes, and sexuality. 

Defining manhood can be a tricky task, even more so when you live exposed to dominant stereotypes of what masculine or feminine bodies and attitudes are supposed to be. Tony and his friends chat about their experiences and the way each of their environments and families modeled or influenced them to think masculinity in certain ways.

What we are supposed to be | We don’t want to be “weak”

Vulnerability is seen as a weakness and something more characteristic of the feminine, this makes us question toxic masculinity. Is the version that we got around masculinity so narrow that it starts devaluing femininity? 

Men that embody certain mannerisms or sensitive attitudes tend to be mocked and categorized in a negative way as “less of a man.” Tony and friends discuss how these stereotypes make us more aware of the aspects within ourselves that we might shift just to fit in outdated “standards” that we must overcome. 

They also speak about feminine and masculine seen as energy and the balance in knowing when to show up, because Identity cannot be limited, it’s a wide spectrum of definitions and nuances, defined by culture and context.

LIBERATION WALK

• Get to know more of Tony and check his artwork here.
• Share some thoughts by pressing that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side to let Tony know what do you think of this episode
• Subscribe to Akilah’s Youtube Channel
• Join our Podcast Village and don’t miss any of our Feel Trip invitations! 

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/

This episode is so that we can bring some new moon energies as we understand them, to some of Akilah’s motherwork, to the ways that she is continuing to understand resistance from the perspective of her daughters resisting things, sometimes resisting her, but other times resisting things that she feels like they should not resist, things that they should accept, things that feel important or healthy for them to accept.

If you've been rocking with us here, you know we've talked about versions of this many times over in past episodes in terms of resistance as a roadmap. Also in terms of recognizing ourselves as oppressors (potentially and sometimes realized) in our relationships with children, particularly if we live with them.

This episode closes with #maddquestionaskin about resistance. Here are some of the questions that popped up for Akilah. Listen to the full episode for the full list.

• Is resistance the problem? Or is it the map?
• How might my excavation, exploration, invitations around this have helped me not to force my children to accept something I feel that they should accept? Or believe? Or know?
• How have I resisted and how has my resistance saved me?
• What has my resistance cost me?
• What is my personal experience with resistance in children?
• What am I willing to do with this experience of resistance?

(This particular question can be good for, at the moment, when you're in the middle of a space of resistance with a young person)

• Do I recognize questioning as my right? As my responsibility?
• Do I recognize questioning as a beautiful and necessary part of how my children evolve into themselves?

LIBERATION WALK

• Speak up and press that “Leave a Voice Message” button on the right side to share some insight with us
• Join our Podcast Village and don’t miss any of our Feel Trip invitations
• Subscribe to Akilah’s Youtube Channel

Dig this show? Join our make-it-happen family at patreon.com/akilah to make sure we can keep this thang going strong. Thank you!


The Raising Free People Practice Card Deck
https://schoolishness.com/market/rfp-a-practice-deck/

Peek at the details of Personal Manifesto Path (will be available exclusively through our make-it-happen family on Patreon)
https://www.rfpunschool.com/p/manifesto

Our Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@fareofthefreechild

The Village:
https://my-reflection-matters.mn.co/