Finding the Guardian of Your Soul

In this episode of 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' host Lisa Shield delves into the important topic of breaking down emotional walls in relationships. Lisa shares her personal journey and the transformative experience of opening up to her husband, Benjamin, and how this vulnerability brought healing and deep connection to their relationship. 

She highlights the importance of being authentic and emotionally naked in relationships, providing valuable insights into recognizing emotional unavailability and finding the courage to be genuine in love. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the power of vulnerability and transparency in creating meaningful and loving connections. 

Tune in to learn how to take down your own walls and attract the Guardian of Your Soul™
 

Primary Topic: Understanding Emotional Walls

- How emotional walls manifest in relationships

- The impact of past hurt and disappointment on building walls

- The role of gender stereotypes in managing emotions in relationships

- Challenges of opening up to men and being vulnerable

- Recognizing self-limiting beliefs and internal dialogue

Primary Topic: The Process of Breaking Down Walls

- The need for conscious effort to break down emotional walls

- Taking small steps towards vulnerability and openness

- Overcoming fear of vulnerability and emotional unavailability

- Recognizing and addressing patterns in attracting emotionally unavailable partners

- Understanding male vulnerability in relationships

Primary Topic: Self-Reflection and Personal Growth

- Examining personal experiences and upbringing influencing emotional walls

- Recognizing the impact of past experiences on present relationships

- Taking personal responsibility for emotional barriers

- The healing power of transparency and acceptance

- Challenging self-judgment and building self-acceptance

Primary Topic: Authenticity and Genuine Connection

- Differentiating between facade and genuine vulnerability

- Connecting with inner softness and sweetness

- Encouraging genuine interactions over competitive banter

- Inviting emotional openness and connection in relationships

- Recognizing the qualities that foster lasting connections

Primary Topic: Seeking Support and Growth Opportunities

- Recommending resources for understanding emotional availability

- Encouraging self-reflection and personal development

- Highlighting the benefits of seeking professional guidance

- Opportunities for personal growth and support

- Inviting audience feedback and topic suggestions

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In today's episode of 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' Lisa Shield explores the intricate balance between commitment and freedom that challenges many modern relationships. Decoding the behaviors of men who might seem to avoid commitment, Lisa clarifies that not all men who appear avoidant are averse to intimacy. With personal anecdotes and two decades of expertise, she delves into the diverse motivations that steer men away from long-term attachments—be it the pursuit of a career, valuing their freedom, or complex family dynamics rooted in their childhood.

Lisa discusses why some men maintain a push-pull dynamic, toggling between attraction and the desire for space, and how their partners can take this behavior the wrong way. she also sheds light on the male need for respect and autonomy.

This episode offers actionable steps for women seeking to get closer to understanding the men in their lives. Lisa serves as a beacon of hope, asserting that selecting a compatible partner isn't a fantasy. It is a realistic goal for any woman ready to invest in herself.

"Oxytocin makes a woman feel bonded to a man, especially when we are having repeated orgasms with him. We start to feel like, “Oh, my God, if I'm feeling this way, he must be feeling this way. If I want to bond with him and I'm feeling emotionally connected to him, he must be feeling the same way because we were both in that bedroom together, and we both had the same experience.” And yet, it's not the same for a man as it is for us. Men can compartmentalize sex. They can get turned on and excited, but those feelings do not necessarily translate into wanting a relationship with a certain woman."

— Lisa Shield

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Lisa explains that both men and women find the dating process challenging and that men today may feel hesitant to approach women because of a fear of being rejected or because of the Me Too Movement. She offers a personal and detailed account of her experiences dealing with narcissistic individuals and provides professional insights drawing from her own struggles.

Lisa shares how a willingness to face the worst parts of herself led her to a fulfilling and enduring 21-year marriage. To illustrate how facing adversity can lead to our biggest breakthroughs, she shares about being humiliated by and standing up to her mentor while getting her Master’s degree.

Quotes:

"I am so disheartened when I read all of the reports out there about how many people are giving up on finding love and resigning themselves to staying single."

— Lisa Shield

"If we see life as a school and all of the experiences we're having as life lessons, we are able to move forward in a better way towards our goals and dreams."

— Lisa Shield 

"They've actually done studies, and they've shown that when it comes to romantic signaling, women actually send the first message, not the man. So the woman signals to the man that it is safe for him to approach her."

— Lisa Shield

"You've got to send men the signals. You've got to smile. You've got to run your fingers through your hair and flirt a bit, or men won't approach you in public."

— Lisa Shield

"Narcissists can tell which women will be harder from the ones that will be easier to manipulate.   

— Lisa Shield

"You don't want a man who offers you false flattery to win your favor, which is what narcissists often do."

— Lisa Shield 

"Surrendering to this process means acknowledging that you have blind spots and things you don't know, you don't know. And that you start to reach out to coaches and mentors and people like me who can actually help you see your patterns and show you how to break them."

— Lisa Shield

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This master class is a life-changing journey for anyone seeking to find true connection and emotional intimacy. Lisa unveils the art of constructing authentic, positive online dating profiles that stand out while stressing the value of steering clear of negativity. Her unique approach goes beyond surface-level tips; it's about transformative personal growth and the proactive pursuit of love.

Listeners will gain wisdom on breaking free from past patterns, reinventing personal dating dynamics, and the subtle communication techniques that foster a profound bond with prospective partners. Lisa's emphasis on authenticity, understanding the male psyche, and harmonizing feminine and masculine energies promises a fresh perspective on attracting a partner who is truly on your level.

We invite you to tune in as Lisa guides us through her methodology, including enlightening exercises and the delicate balance between strength and femininity in dating. This episode is a must-hear for anyone ready to invest in themselves, change their love paradigm, and discover the soulful, lasting relationship they deserve.

Embracing Personal Growth in Dating: "We approach dating as a spiritual path of personal growth and transformation, not as just a means to an end."

— Lisa Shield [00:03:50 → 00:03:59]

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

- Challenges faced when dating as a widow

- Balancing the program's time commitment with personal life

- The value of investing in personal growth and dating success

- Feelings of loneliness and lack of control in the dating process

- Finding confidence and determination to pursue love again

- Learning from past relationships through the program

- Overcoming grief and reevaluating life priorities after loss

- Embracing femininity and letting go of anxious attachment styles

- Open communication and shared commitments establishing a strong connection

- The "final five" approach and focusing on compatibility

- The non-linear approach of the program and its advantages over traditional therapy

- Success in finding a fulfilling relationship with a previously divorced man

Key Quotes:

The Power of Spontaneity: "And I was actually surprised because I don't do spontaneous things typically. I always make long and hard decisions and I do all the analysis and think about. But I guess we just clicked and I made that spontaneous decision at the end of our call, which was supposed to be an hour and a half."

— Elaine

Understanding Grief Cycles in Retirement: "Because I was also having grief cycles from the retirement, which I didn't have the first or second year after I lost my husband."

— Elaine

Reflecting on Past Relationships: "I think the piece that resonates with me the most is the exercise where you go back and do an analysis of your past relationship, from your parents to people you dated, to people you were married. And it's a group, but it's individual. And I was scared to death to do it on my late husband. Right. And I talked to Rebecca, my coach, and, you know, this one worries me, because I try to think of all of the positives, and you have to come up with positives and negatives. I haven't tried to think backwards, well, this could have been better, and that could have been better because he passed and he had a good marriage. Well, I did the exercise, and it shocked me because he had a lot of the traits that all of my past relationships had."

— Elaine

Embracing Femininity and Overcoming Attachment Styles: "And being able to step back and let the guy be the guy and be playful, that was hard for me, being playful. But you gave all the tips and the tricks and the samples and the other women that we can talk to all the time, we all kind of come up with little things that we could do."

— Elaine 

Exploring Modern Dating: "Because what I wanted to do was get comfortable with the whole process, tap into my naked data, and be curious and open minded."

— Elaine 

Dating Priorities and Compatibility: "Even if he had the money, he'd be uncomfortable, and so I would use that as my. Instead of just, oh, he doesn't make enough money to do what I want to do because, I don't know, maybe he's got millions, but does he like to travel the way? Does he like to eat out the places I like to eat? Does he like to do the things I like to do?"

— Elaine

The Power of Vulnerability in New Relationships: "I went in this with, I'm going to just be open and vulnerable because I don't have time, right? I could be dead tomorrow, so I want to make sure this is the right fit."

— Elaine 

Finding Love in the Digital Age: "And that's what started our connection, because I had also gone through a journey where I lost a bunch of weight, too. So we had that in common."

— Elaine

Personal Development Courses: "And it makes you feel so good after you take it that you actually start looking forward to it."

— Elaine

Investing in Personal Growth: "Who better to invest in is me. What I didn't know is how much value I would get out of it until I started down the process. And to me, I got every dollar out of it and to justify it."

— Elaine

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

- The paradox of choice and fear of choosing the wrong partner

- Waiting for perfection

- Fear of losing freedom and concerns over reduced time for personal interests and social circles

- Anxiety about committing to one partner and losing the excitement of multiple intimacies

- The desire for mental and emotional space within a relationship

- The impact of childhood and parental relationship models

- How past relationship traumas can influence views on commitment

- The difficulty of opening up emotionally after being deeply hurt

- The challenge of overcoming feelings of failure from previous relationships

- The struggle with emotional openness and vulnerability

- The importance of communication skills in fostering a healthy relationship

- Mirroring masculinity, being playful, and supportive in relationships

- Adapting a forgiving, drama-free, and patient approach

- Issues related to timing, career aspirations, and personal growth

- The feeling of being diminished in the presence of a highly successful partner

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Brief background on Elena being a past client and Heath's personal growth journey

- Heath's desire to positively impact someone's life

- The notion of their relationship being easy and fulfilling

- Mutual acknowledgment and appreciation of each other's effort

- The age factor and defying common perceptions

- Elena's perspective on how counseling helped her and their relationship

- Heath's insight on not settling and clarity in relationship intentions

- Elena's transformative experience with Lisa's course

- Elena's realization of her blind spots in understanding healthy relationships

- Elena's proactive approach to dating: over 90 dates, improved profile, professional photos

- The value of Q&A calls with other women during the course

- The influence of Lisa and Benjamin's relationship model

Key quotes:

"You attract certain characteristics maybe because of childhood. For example, daughters of alcoholics attract alcoholics, and they're attractive to them because that's what they know. So you have to really work on yourself to change that pattern and to work on yourself and be attracted to other types of men or situations." — Elena 

"The course was the best thing I bought for me out of anything. It doesn't compare to any clothing, jewelry, furniture, car, anything, because that's an investment in me." — Elena

“It seems like she goes out of her way to recognize the effort I put into the relationship. And again, that's just something that I wasn't accustomed to. And I try to do the same thing again…we both got lucky in that we both try to compliment, thank, and appreciate the other person. I think that goes a tremendous distance in making a relationship healthy." — Heath 

“I'm empowering my female clients with tools and insight into male behavior so that we can shift ourselves because that's where our power lies. We're not going to change men. The way we're going to change our relationship with men is by changing the way we relate to them." — Lisa Shield

"I learned a great amount of information, and I enjoyed dating so much more after the class because before it was frustrating, it's scary, it's anxious, and it was a very different experience." — Elena

“What you always were saying, Lisa: wonderful men are out there. It's just something we need to see in our mind and change our mind." — Elena

"I think many women come into relationships, and they figure, look, he's the giver, I'm the receiver, and it's all about me and me getting my needs met. And that often men don't often get their needs met, and women may think that they are. But we really teach the women in our course how to be great partners." — Lisa Shield 

"I'm more attracted to the person that Elena is than what she looks like. She's beautiful, but I'm more attracted to parts of her that I have seen through our interactions." — Heath

"To be so in love, to meet somebody at this age, to find somebody who will accept your children…The hundred miles or so that you were apart. None of that mattered in the end." — Lisa Shield

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- How control can affect a man’s sense of personal freedom and push him away

- The dynamic where women try to control the narrative

- The devastating effects of holding mistakes over a man

- Emphasizing the value of space and growth in partnerships

- Benjamin’s account of a past relationship and the importance of aligning on key life choices

- Lisa’s insights on honesty, awareness, and the toxicity of control

- The significance of forgiveness and overcoming control to avoid resentment

- How facing challenges, including affairs, can enhance emotional intimacy

- Exploring the idea of moving past a binary view of right and wrong in relationships

- Rumi's philosophy on transcending conflict for relationship enhancement

- Explaining the concept of baiting and switching in relationships

- Avoiding the urge to pressure partners into life-changing decisions

- The effect of dominance on the respect and balance in a relationship

- Considerations of how past experiences inform current relationship behavior

- Strategies for fostering communication and support to combat controlling dynamics

- Identifying harmful behaviors, such as nagging and passive-aggressiveness

- Understanding the outcomes of disrespecting a partner’s capabilities or desires

Key quotes:

“We all carry these behaviors into relationships because we have a history of being wounded, damaged, hurt, manipulated, lied to." — Lisa Shield 

"And I would just see some men get smaller and smaller and smaller, they become children again, and the wife becomes the mother." — Benjamin Shield

“Growing up as a child, it was humiliating for me to see my father belittled." — Benjamin Shield

"I think it's because we love each other so much and we're able to have fun and play and trust each other and have a lot of space." — Lisa Shield 

"Let's say that a man makes a mistake. Let's say that he gets drunk one night, he's on a business trip, he sleeps with a woman one time, and he goes and tells his wife because he wants to be clear. She could hold that over him for decades. Decades. And so there's this hierarchy where he's feeling controlled by his mistake." — Benjamin Shield 

"One of the most controlling behaviors is when anyone makes a mistake in a relationship, and his partner cannot move into a place of forgiveness...holding it over your partner is one of the worst forms of control." — Lisa Shield

“[The silent treatment] is so controlling because you can't talk about it. And so you just sit, and you don't even know sometimes what it's about…And it's just like suddenly someone just is silent and turns away, and horrible – horrible! There's no resolving it, and the person is in complete control when the relationship starts going out." — Benjamin Shield

"If you're a woman, you may be in a relationship with a man who's controlling, who's doing some of the same things. control in relationships doesn't work. There is a better way." — Lisa Shield

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Personal anecdotes to support holiday socializing as a means to find love

- Advantages of seeking love through dating platforms during the holidays

- Maintaining a positive self-talk and mindset while online dating

- The importance of taking initiative in dating

- The journey to self-appreciation and learning to value men

- Practice and the necessity of cultivating skills for emotional connection at social events

- The transformative experience of practicing emotional connectivity at a party

- Moving away from analytical thinking to emotional presence

- Expanding one's personal limits to prepare for potential relationships

Key quotes:

• "It's so important to remember that this can be one of the most social times of the year and one of the best times to get out and meet people, especially to meet new people." — Lisa Shield 
• "It's all how you choose to look at it. You can go into this holiday season feeling sad and feeling badly about being without a partner, or you can choose to see it as an opportunity, right?" — Lisa Shield
• "I can't change things in the past, but I can change my mindset. I can change my perspective. I can change the story I'm telling myself." — Lisa Shield
• "An emotional connection is when two people get emotionally naked with one another, and they talk about the kinds of things that a man and a woman would only share with each other in an intimate way." — Lisa Shield 
• "I was trying so hard to be interesting that I wasn't really interested in other people. So the game I would play with myself over the holidays was to go to parties and practice making an emotional connection with men." — Lisa Shield

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Impact of Lisa’s father's absence and behavior on personal relationships

- Her realization about the impact of blaming parents for relationship struggles

- Deciding to transform and not be defined by the past

- Transitioning from blaming to taking responsibility for one’s own happiness

- Lisa’s experience of rejection and fear originating from the father-daughter relationship

- Her decision to seek and attract qualities in a partner that were lacking in the father

- Meeting the right partner after personal growth and emotional healing

- Letting go of past baggage and emotional wounds from previous relationships

Key quotes:

"I’d meet somebody and tell them my story. Then I meet someone else, and I tell them my story. Eventually, I started to see how inane and boring it is to keep retelling your story as if that's who you are." — Lisa Shield

“It hit me that carrying all of this blame and this old story that it was my father's fault that I couldn't have a healthy relationship with a man was getting in my way." — Lisa Shield

"I decided that if I couldn't heal my relationship with my own father, that I could still heal my relationships with men." — Lisa Shield

"I went on 96 1st dates. The 96th date was my husband Benjamin. The whole time I was putting myself out there, as I was sitting across from a man on a date, I often felt like being rejected by my father all over again. Those fears would come up, and I would have to deal with them. I would sit with my feelings, I would love myself, and I would talk myself off the ledge." — Lisa Shield

"Instead of using my relationship with my father as an excuse for why I couldn't have the kind of relationship I wanted, I used it as the reason why I had to go out and find the kind of guy I wanted…I knew I had the power to walk forward, to acknowledge that my relationship with my father was never going to be what I wanted, but that I could get out there and do the work and face my fears and learn how to separate the good men from the not so good men and find a Guardian of My Soul." — Lisa Shield

"I had to learn how to love myself. No matter what was going on around me, no matter whether a guy wrote back to me or asked me on a second date or not, I knew that I had to keep moving forward, healing my heart, and loving myself." — Lisa Shield

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Caroline's past concern for approval and fear of abandonment

- Her decision to take a dating course to improve her approach to relationships

- Matt’s frustration with the non-committal nature of dating apps

- Valuing communication and shared values in relationships

- The two meeting through Tinder and developing a strong connection

- Matt's appreciation for Caroline's directness and clarity

- Caroline and Matt's decision to consider premarital counseling

- Caroline's focus on career and personal growth before seeking a partner

- Both guests highlighting communication as a key element in their relationship

- How Lisa’s course facilitated their mutual understanding

- The importance of making lifelong connections and identifying relationship needs

- Learning to be emotionally vulnerable and its impact on relationships

Key quotes:

"I realized that I needed some help, some different type of help that I wasn't getting anywhere else in the dating world." — Caroline 

"I would have rather been liked for something I wasn't than disliked for something I was. I was just more concerned with the approval." — Caroline

“So it took just enough heartbreaks for me, honestly, to realize that, yes, I was doing like reading books on dating and love and how to improve myself, and I was going to therapy on and off, but it still was not producing anything different. I wasn't doing enough differently, so I had to do something." — Caroline 

"But the older I've gotten, I've learned a lot through [past] relationships of really what I want and being able to communicate with somebody on a totally different level. [...] It's really refreshing, I guess you could say, to find somebody that you can really just talk to and not really be judged or anything like that." — Matt

"I wouldn't have met Matt if I waited, because there was just a type of guy I was going for. I had this image of what I wanted him to look like, what kind of work I wanted him to do, where I wanted him to live. I had this whole image of what I thought I wanted. And after taking your course, I was like, dude…What are the five qualities I need, absolutely need, in somebody that I could not live without? And those five qualities are beyond a job title. They are beyond what city a person lives in. They're beyond somebody's height." — Caroline

"We have values that we share together as far as being truthful and speaking our mind with each other. We're very direct with each other…sometimes one of us might have our feelings hurt for a little bit when we are direct that way, but I think it's for the best because if you don't have these tough conversations, then you're going to be at this level but never achieve something greater." — Matt 

“The lifelong friendships and connections I've made in your program, like the quality of the other women, the quality of you, Lisa–I have a lifetime connection with all of you. I'd say that's one thing that you do…Just having such good quality people I respect and I admire and I look up to and I learn from in my corner." — Caroline

"We talked about some of our core values that we had as far as what we want in a partner and just the communication that we were able to have just in such a short period of time…" — Matt [00:17:25 → 00:17:39]

“She invested in herself to want something better in her life and to know exactly what she wants. And I very much respect it that she said, hey, look, this is a problem in my life…Let me figure this out. I'll do a program, and really figure it out and of what I really want." — Matt

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- The role of receptivity in fostering healthy relationships between men and women

- The connection between a woman's openness and bringing out the best in men

- The story of Lisa’s initial reservations about her now-husband

- The positive outcomes of being receptive to someone who didn't meet her list of standards

- How continuous busyness and lack of time affect women's ability to be open to men

- The fear of vulnerability and admitting a need for partnership

- Men's experiences, fears, and sensitivities often neglected

- The influence of parental relationships on men's attitudes

- The necessity for kind, thoughtful communication that is free from shaming

- Identifying blind spots that might impede relationship progress

- Importance of effective communication through different life stages

- Examples of displaying openness and warmth on dates

- Encourages seeking help to recognize and overcome dating challenges

- Guidance on being emotionally naked, letting go of baggage for connection

- The role of receptivity in fostering healthy relationships between men and women

- Managing fear of rejection and learning from past relationships

Key quotes:

"Many of you pride yourself on going, doing, and keeping yourself busy every second of every day. And it's like a badge of honor for you to be incredibly busy. You don't know how to relax and stop running and rushing through life." — Lisa Shield

“He's not looking to just fit into your life. You both will have to fit into each other's lives and make room for each other. " — Lisa Shield

"So many of us have been burned by men, and when that happens, you don't just get over it. Even going to therapy and sitting and processing, it doesn't mean that when you're in the moment with a man that you really like, you're just able to push all of your hurts and all of your years of disappointment aside and suddenly open up to him. We carry those past experiences into each date." — Lisa Shield

"You're not going to attract the kind of man you truly want unless you can make space and room in your life and heart for him." — Lisa Shield

"You have the most beautiful hearts, and you're capable of loving in extraordinary ways, and you're longing to attract a Guardian of Your Soul. And the problem is that there's all these little blind spots that you don't even know you have." — Lisa Shield

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

-Building a financially responsible partnership

- Combining finances and removing barriers

- Supporting partner during times of uncertainty and income loss

- Success in dating doesn't require external qualities or wealth

- Approaching relationships with spiritual principles

- Foundation of kindness, gratitude, forgiveness, compassion, patience, and personal responsibility

- Acknowledging past anxiety rooted in fear

- Evaluating partner's principles, treatment of others, and level of consciousness

- Relationships guided by authenticity, not predetermined scripts

- Deciding to trust partner based on demonstrated qualities

- Sharing financial responsibilities as true partners

- Support during career transitions and financial assistance

- Partner's role in supporting and encouraging personal and professional growth 

- Sharing the financial burden and acting as a guardian of the partner’s soul

Key quotes:

• "Benjamin and I both contribute financially to this marriage, being true partners." — Lisa Shield
• "Benjamin doesn’t tell me how to run my business or make more money, but by believing in my power to do those things, to figure them out on my own and creating a container for me to do that." — Lisa Shield
• "In terms of finances, it wasn't about asking a series of questions. It was about looking at this man's principles and observing who he is how he moved through the world, and how he treated me." — Lisa Shield

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Jessica’s experience utilizing tools and knowledge from coaching to navigate dating experiences

-Jessica’s experience with Lisa’s program as  particularly helpful 

- Using OkCupid and Bumble for dating

- Not taking things personally and avoiding overanalysis

- Empowering women to ask for what they want

- Jessica’s experience being a single mother and struggling during COVID

- Her desire for a partner and modeling healthy relationships for her child

- Tools and knowledge acquired for handling rejection and inappropriate behavior

- Creating a list of criteria for potential partners

Key quotes:

• "It was really important to me that I modeled [for my daughter] a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage for her so that hopefully she would have that when she's older." — Jessica
• "By not taking anything personally, it was just very freeing." — Jessica
• “If I had not worked with you and I met with challenges dating online,, I would have been so upset, I would have been freaked out. Like, screw men, screw dating, cancel all my accounts on the apps. Like, I'm done with this, right?" — Jessica
• "Our program works the way it's written, and people just have to follow the process if they're going to get the most out of it." — Lisa Shield
• "Thinking you know how wat you want and how to choose a healthy partner and and putting it into practice are very different things." — Lisa Shield
• "I've talked to some friends about your program and everything, and they're like, ‘Why would you spend that much money on that?’ And I said, ‘Well, look at what I've gotten for it. I met a great man that I wouldn't have known how to meet otherwise. Now I have a partner, now my daughter has a father figure.’" — Jessica

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Importance of making dating a priority 

- Toxic optimism and not acknowledging the challenges of conceiving after 35 

- Understanding the timeline and planning accordingly 

- Settling and rushing the process 

- Relying on chemistry as the main indicator of compatibility 

- Rushing into relationships due to anxiety about starting a family

- Neglecting personal growth and self-reflection 

- Recognizing past mistakes and learning from them 

- Seeking professional help to gain clarity and work through insecurities 

- Generic self-help methods vs. targeted advice on dating and relationships 

- Importance of learning about men and effective communication strategies

Key quotes:

"What can happen for many women who want kids is they don't make it a priority and they leave it to chance until they wake up and realize it’s too late." — Lisa Shield

"Neglecting your personal growth...is a terrible mistake." — Lisa Shield

"I thought I'd look needy or desperate or insecure if I was open to a man – if I was receptive, if I asked a man for what I wanted and needed." — Lisa Shield

"It's a three month course. That's all we need is three months of your time, and we will give you a PhD level education in getting this solved." — Lisa Shield

“We will show you how we can help you find the Guardian of Your Soul faster than you ever thought possible." — Lisa Shield 

"The only missing piece for so many of you is that guy. Let us show you how to find him." — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Want more content like this? 

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Partners feeling uncomfortable when not in control and sabotaging relationships

- Self-reflection and confronting the darker side

- Dating as an opportunity to work through these behaviors

- Emotional availability vs. moving at a different pace

- The significance of the spiritual component in relationships

- Learning to give unconditional love to receive it

- Finding a partner to respect, admire, and accept

- Letting go of perfectionism and inner critic

- Creating a safe space for failure

Key quotes:

"Some women hold themselves to impossibly high standards. And then, when they get into relationships which are unpredictable and unknown territory, it triggers a lot of insecurities and brings certain unattractive behaviors to the surface.” – Lisa Shield

“Some women are not only hard on men when they don't get what they want, but they’re also hard on themselves when they have to look at their own dark side." — Lisa Shield

"I have seen women let their corporate, high-achiever mentality spill over into their love lives. This can be a turn-off for men who don't want that in their relationships with women." — Lisa Shield

"Some women take it personally when a man isn't moving at their pace and saying and doing the things they feel he should be by a certain time. Their arbitrary timelines can cause them to sabotage relationships with good men who just need time to catch up to them." — Lisa Shield

"One of the mistakes I see many people make with personal growth work is that they get it intellectually, they get it conceptually, but they don't out it into practice." — Lisa Shield

"We all have to look at how to accept ourselves. To do that, we have to accept that we’re human and fallible and learn to love ourselves even with all of our imperfections." — Lisa Shield

“To be a loving, emotionally intelligent adult in a relationship, starts with letting go of the need to be perfect." — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com 

Want more content like this? 

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Zia discovering burlesque and being captivated by its freedom and openness

- Struggling with embracing sensuality, sexuality, and femininity

- Therapy, self-work, and self-love to deconstruct upbringing in a religion

- Her journey defining success based on personal truth and self-acceptance

- Societal expectations and the patriarchy's influence on women's self-worth

- Stripping industry stigma and mistreatment, advocating for better protection and acceptance

- Zia's admiration for strippers' sales skills and work ethic

- Prioritizing performance over seeking male attention

- Embracing and appreciating sensuality and beauty through burlesque

- The importance of self-love, sensuality, and personal exploration

Key quotes:

"In the process of pursuing what I love, it brings a satisfaction and joy of life that I never thought I could have." — Zia Sandía

“When you start learning how to trust yourself, you can take another person’s point of view and think about it, but not let it hurt you." — Zia Sandía

"It sounds like as a woman, it can be incredibly empowering to feel your beauty, your sensuality, instead of feeling that there's something wrong with it. That is an issue for women today…they find their power in their work and their corporate jobs and in all these other things, and they lose sight of who they are as women." — Lisa Shield

"To excite the audience, to pull out sensuality and lure them in on a mass scale was something that was such a challenge to me, like something I didn't ever think I could do." — Zia Sandía

"You have to find the sensuality and the beauty within yourself in order to invoke that to others." — Zia Sandía

"It would be nice if [sex work] were more accepted and if it were more protected... the women could be more protected." — Lisa Shield

'We are taught as women that we are a threat and we need to stay in line. And if we are going to be seen as worth it or worthy to a man, we better learn our place. And that teaches women that they need to offer something more than what they just are to be good enough.'" — Zia Sandía

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Want more content like this? 

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Exploring the idea that men enjoy the chase in relationships

- Examination of why nice men may not pursue women they perceive as difficult or complicated

- Addressing the misconception that men are mind-readers and the importance of clear communication

- Recognizing that men, like women, have different personalities and preferences

- Discussion of a woman's miscommunication with a man and his slower approach

- Acknowledging that some men may be introverted or uncertain about signals

- Recognizing the cryptic and tentative signals often sent by women

- Highlighting the need for effective communication and understanding between men and women

- Critique of the concept of men chasing women and its promotion of game playing and manipulation

- Cautionary note about men using deceptive tactics and the need for personal reflection

- Importance of taking responsibility for one's actions in attracting and understanding men

- Emphasis on the gradual development of relationships and the importance of authenticity

Key quotes:

"One reason why this whole idea that men should chase women is wrong is because just the very sound of it promotes game playing. The idea that a man should chase a woman can encourage manipulative behavior like playing hard to get." — Lisa Shield

"Great guys who are building fabulous careers and have money want women who are easy to get along with, women who are transparent, women who are upfront, who know how to talk to a man." — Lisa Shield 

"And all of our clients who have found the Guardians of Their Souls will say, ‘This is not the kind of guy I thought I would be with. It started off very slow and it just kept progressing and getting better and better and better as we got to know each other.’" — Lisa Shield

"You may think you're being very clear about how you feel, you may think you're being obvious. But some women, most women, can be extremely cryptic in the way that they send signals to men." — Lisa Shield

"The idea that men like to chase women sets up a cat and mouse game, and that is not a good basis for the beginning of a relationship or a good way to gain male attention and interest." — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Want more content like this? 

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- Fear of vulnerability and its impact on connection

- The need to let your guard down and show your true self to attract emotionally available partners

- Unrealistic expectations in searching for a partner

- The tendency to look for stereotypes rather than real, authentic individuals

- The drawbacks of finding a partner who fits stereotypes and lacks authenticity

- The glorification of busyness and its impact on making time for a relationship

- Overanalyzing and creating unnecessary problems

- Magnifying small issues and creating unnecessary hurdles in the relationship

- Avoiding conflict and the consequences

- The fear of conflict and the reluctance to address important questions or conversations

- The impact of suppressing feelings and avoiding crucial discussions on building closeness

Key quotes:

"A lot of women aren’t looking for a real man. They’re looking for a stereotype or an archetype that doesn't really exist." — Lisa Shield 

"Being busy is not necessarily a good thing. If your calendar is so packed that you don't have time for a relationship, then you're not going to be able to make room for a man in your life." — Lisa Shield 

"I see this so often with our clients. We literally beg them to have conversations with the men that they're seeing she they can get clear on where the relationship is going.  Unfortunately, because the guy is continuing to make dates with them, they wind up going along with the guys and wasting precious time because they don't want to rock the boat." — Lisa Shield 

"Playfulness is a form of vulnerability. To be playful, you cannot be self-conscious and second-guessing yourself. You need to be in the moment and at ease." — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Want more content like this? 

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- About Aaron’s areas of expertise, including divorce, custody, child support, and pre- and postnuptial agreements

- The importance of setting clear financial terms during engagement reduces marital issues

- Fairer prenups lead to happier marriages

- Discussing what couples want to achieve with the agreement instead of using the term "prenup"

- Addressing the negative connotations and stereotypes associated with prenuptial agreements

- Meeting legal requirements such as signing the prenup at least a week ahead and having an opportunity to meet with an attorney

- Using prenuptial agreements to achieve transparency in relationships

-- Negative consequences of financial surprises during a relationship, such as hidden debt

- Regular meetings to discuss finances, similar to shareholders' meetings

- Communal assets and their potential complications in divorce, such as owning a house or making mortgage payments before marriage

- The potential loss of pre-marital assets in divorce settlements

- The benefits of having joint and separate accounts or an allowance system

- The tendency for people to be more comfortable being physically naked than financially open

- Lack of transparency in finances negatively affecting other areas of a relationship

- Being open about finances showing vulnerability and strengthening the overall relationship

- Not all family law attorneys are knowledgeable about prenuptial or postnuptial agreements

- The trade-offs involved in prenuptial agreements and the importance of making an intentional choice

Key quotes:

"My wife and I have regular checkpoints, whether it's annually or quarterly or even monthly, for us to sit down and talk about the finances." — Aaron Thomas

"A couple can be married for 10, 15, 20 years, and then a divorce happens and all of a sudden the wife is like, ‘What do you mean he wants half of the house that I paid for for 20 years? What do you mean he wants half of my retirement when he sat on the couch when I was out there busting my rear end to earn this money?’ She didn’t realize that when she got married, the default rule is that everything the couple earned over the course of the marriage is considered marital property." — Aaron Thomas

"Setting clear financial terms during engagement reduces marital issues, and fair prenups lead to happier marriages." — Lisa Shield

"Without a prenup, a lot of people lose what they built up even before the marriage." — Aaron Thomas

"Most couples find it best to have, like I said, three buckets, a joint bucket and then two separate buckets so you still have autonomy over the money in your separate funds." — Aaron Thomas

"It's one of the biggest issues about relationships in general…people fall in love and they're under the illusion that whatever they're feeling in the initial stages is going to go on for the rest of the relationship." — Lisa Shield

"People today...have an easier time getting physically naked than they do getting fiscally naked." — Aaron Thomas

"What you are saying is that having a prenup isn’t just about preparing for what will happen in the case of a divorce. When you write a prenup, you're also looking at how you're going to handle your finances throughout the marriage. That's a very important distinction that you're making there." — Lisa Shield

"And I would actually say that one of the sexiest things my husband ever did was on our fifth date, he sat down and he literally said, these are my finances. He told me. And for me, I felt so taken care of because he was being completely transparent.  It spoke volumes about who he is, who he would be as a partner, and what our future would look like together. A lot of couples are afraid to talk about those things, but for me, it was sexy." — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Want more content like this? 

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com