Guide From The Perplexed

This podcast episode features an interview with Daniel Mate, co-author of New York Times Bestseller -- The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture.  Daniel is a composer, lyricist, and accomplished playwright known for his work in musical theater. Daniel is also the creator of the Mental Chiropractic method.  Daniel discusses his musical journey, his unique approach to addressing challenges through mental chiropractic, and his insights into parent-child relationships. The episode offers valuable insights for listeners interested in mental health, music composition, and understanding parent-adult child relationship dynamics.

Daniel Mate shares his experiences and insights into his mental chiropractic process, a unique approach that helps individuals overcome their stuckness. He explains that mental chiropractic involves setting intentions, identifying and challenging perspectives that block those intentions, and gaining new perspectives and choices. Through several examples, Daniel demonstrates the transformative power of mental chiropractic in helping individuals align with their intentions and break free from limitations.

Daniel discusses his recent project, "Hello Again," which explores parent/adult-child relationships. The conversation delves into the complexities of adult parent-child relationships – an area that has been ignored in parenting literature, emphasizing the formative influence parents have on their children and the impact it has on individuals. Daniel explores the inherent structural imbalances in these relationships and highlights the need to examine one's childhood and past experiences to understand how they shape the present.

Overall, this podcast episode provides a wide-ranging conversation with Daniel Mate, covering his musical career, his unique approach to addressing challenges through mental chiropractic, and his exploration of parent-child relationships. The episode offers valuable insights for listeners interested in creative music composition, mental health, and understanding the complexities of family dynamics.

0.00 - Daniel Mate on speaking.
3:32 - Disillusionment.
16:53 - The power of collaboration in musical theater.
22:15 - What does alignment mean to you?
29:34 - What does mental chiropractic mean?
34:54 - Memorable conversations on walks.
50:43 - The relationship between the adult child and parent is unique.
55:26 - Writing the Myth of Normal with his dad.
1:00:34 - Triggers from an Adult Child

Check out this thought-provoking podcast discussing personality assessments and self-perception.  Join Mordecai, JD Stettin, and Joey Hirsh as they share their experiences with various personality assessments, like Kolbe and Enneagram, and explore why idealize certain personality types.   Dive into the conversation on self-acceptance, individuality, and the influence of cultural narratives on our perception of heroes.   

In this podcast, Mordecai Rosenberg, Simon Brief, and JD Stettin discuss the transformative power of grief and pain, the importance of staying present in the moment, and the concept of gratitude. Brief shares his experience with meditation, and they also share anecdotes and memories of their father-in-law. Join them as they discuss topics of spiritual development and personal growth.

In this podcast episode, JD and Mordecai are joined by guest, Emily Shaughnessy. Emily was raised in an evangelical Presbyterian family.  Her education was individualized as she was homeschooled until high school. Her parents instilled in her the importance of giving back to others. Although Emily moved away from a traditional religious structure, her path brought her to deeper levels of spirituality and connection to God.  Emily's dad was a role model for her in terms of constantly giving to the community and giving of himself, which has influenced Emily's worldview and sparked her mission orientation.  Her childhood experiences helped shape her views of humanity and the world and allowed her to follow her passions in making the world around her a better place.

Emily is active in building “asset-based communities,” which is a grassroots approach that focuses on individuals and what they bring to the table, rather than an outside perspective of what needs to be fixed. Influences in her life include Alan Watts, Buddhist thinkers, Pema Chödrön, Marshall Rosenberg and his work on nonviolent communication, and the Internal Family Systems framework. These influences have helped her move away from a good-bad duality and toward a more compassionate understanding of herself and others.

00:04  Introduction to today’s guest.
01:32  Emily’s upbringing and mission-driven worldview.
06:18  What’s changed in her view of spirituality since her parents.
11:02  Breaking apart the binary perspective of our society.
15:54  What have been some of your learnings from any other surprising stories?
21:25  What are some of the influences that have shaped his life?
27:01  How did you get through the loss of your father?
33:32 The dying to be reborn and the shedding of some of the ideas and cultures and parts of oneself.
38:00  The idea of “being like us” is part of human nature.
43:58 What are some of the things that really like light up Emily’s life?

JD's younger brother Jesse is a guest on the show and shares about  his experience from a 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat, where the focus was on building sensory awareness of physical sensations in the body.  The retreat can be physically and mentally challenging, but can lead to feelings of gratitude, realization, and accomplishment.   Jesse personally found that the retreat had a profound impact on them, leading to a fundamental shift in behavior. 


0:03    Welcome Jesse Stettin to the show.
3:21    What is the Vipassana?
9:55    Did you get the daily schedule before you got there or was it a surprise?
16:50 What else do you do that many hours a day?
21:46 How has meditation impacted his day-to-day life?
25:47 What has changed in Jessie’s experience of life?
30:41 JD’s right turn in high school and the impact on his practice.
34:47 What was the defining moment in Jesse’s life when he made the left turn?
41:02 Sibling relationships are very different with a child.

SUMMARY:
On this episode, JD and Mordecai welcome special guest, Dr. Joseph Hirsch as they discuss his experience in the Orthodox community. The conversation touches on themes of self-acceptance, identity, and the relationship between religion and personal beliefs. 

SUMMARY:
Morty and JD explore lessons 16 & 17.  It's understandable to want to constantly seek out new experiences and learning opportunities, but it's important to also make time for rest and reflection. 

TIME STAMPS:
00:01  Here we are, again. Still perplexed. I am at least.  How are you doing today?
04:18 Lesson 16 and 17, which are about neutral thoughts and neutral things. 
09:34  A neutral result is impossible because a neutral thought is impossible..
13:05 Now there's a good and bad...
16:34 In American Western culture, where it is so much of a focus on doing and achieving
21:52 That thought sparked another thought about like this, this book that I just finished yesterday called The Sympathizer
25:33 Just noticing the flavor of our thoughts
27:21 Yeah, I'll choose mint chocolate chip

SUMMARY:
In this episode, JD and Mordecai continue their discussion on things we think we see and we really don't.  They discuss how we are improving every day and how our brain processes stories based on our past.

TIMESTAMPS: 

0:00 - The meaninglessness of meaninglessness

0:50 - What’s it like when you wake up and you’re on vacation in your dream?

1:09 - Much of the work our brains are doing is kind of backfilling and trying to make sense of what it is

2:20 - What do you think about the idea of our brains as “brains?”

2:40 - What’s it like when you’re tired?

4:33 - When you’re in a hotel, it’s like you have to run a show

7:28 - "It's like being in a movie where there's always something else."

9:30 - How long does it take to get to the point where you’re saying “everything is meaningless?”?

11:23 - What does it mean to be “effective?”

SUMMARY:
Mordecai and JD explore week #2 of A Course in Miracles and discuss the reasons why we often think we are upset.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:04 - You can’t lose what you never had
3:19 - Why do we do anything? Why do we feel good?
6:07 - Start with the premise that whatever you’re thinking is not the real thought and see how that unfolds
10:55 - Sometimes I find that frustrating or maddening and other times it gets a bit gentler and in rereading these chapters
15:29 - You have what you get and what you can never lose
21:45 - What is it about experiences that stay with us more than others?
25:49 - How to deal with the slippery slope of expectations
30:38 - You can’t hold on to the present

SUMMARY:
On this episode, Mordecai and JD begin their journey through A Course in Miracles and discuss why you should not believe everything you see.

TIMESTAMPS: 
0:00 - How would you describe A Course In Miracles?

8:06 - What does “nothing means anything” mean?

12:38 - When you’re in problem solving mode, everything is a way to help or get in our way

19:07 - When you’re communicating with someone who is upset, you don’t have to solve it

25:15 - The importance of label making in the natural world

30:14 - Changing the meaning of our thoughts and feelings

36:42 - We are the meaning makers in our lives

40:34 - Dancing to make life a dance

SUMMARY:
In this episode, guest Traverse Fournier joins JD and Mordecai as they discuss goals, loss and grief, and moving forward in life with a positive impact.

TIMESTAMPS: 
2:09 - When did you first start thinking that there was something else to this?
8:29 - What happens when you hit your stride and then realize you’re not going to be happy forever.
14:20 - How thought plays into the process of grieving.
18:45 - Grief and love are not the same.
28:36 - Can you just continue without a little bit of understanding?
31:36 - The intellectualizing of being in the woods. 
35:17 - What’s the purpose of your life?
38:22 - The problem with self-help is that it’s focused on yourself.
40:10 - The self is not an independent entity.
44:45 - The importance of having enriching experiences in your life.

JD and Mordecai discuss being vulnerable, connecting and sharing with others.

Timestamps:
0:00 - How much do you feel like this is a period of clarity?

5:01 - We are meant to spend a lot of our time in connection with others.

14:03 - Why we listen to podcasts.

19:56 - Letting go via connection and sharing.

28:01 - Taking an inventory of mental patterns and habits.

32:52 - What’s going on in our heads.

38:55 - Lead with what you want to share.

46:00 - Being vulnerable in the presence of others.

Mordecai and JD discuss the depths of relationships, the give and take, and effect of our emotions on those we are in relationship with.

Timestamps: 

0:51 - Positive Inward Feelings and How It Affects Others

8:19 - Giving vs Wanting

15:22 - Taking the Long Way

18:49 - We Create the Relationship by How We Hold the Other Person

21:50 - Seeing Your Value Through Someone Else's Eyes

27:22 - When You're Heart is Full, You Have More for Others

Timestamps:

Throughout all of their discussions regarding their own emotions, JD and Mordecai turn the tables a bit and examine their emotions toward others.

Timestamps:

0:08-02:10  Emotions/Feelings Toward Others

02:10-5:15 Desire to Elicit Reaction Through Emotions

05:15-09:08 Guilt: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?

09:20-14:16 Fear and Jealousy

14:17- 15:56 Programmed Fear

16:41-18:50 Manifested vs Actual Threat

19:19-21:12- Nature vs Nurture, Programmed vs DNA/Genetics

Books Referenced:
The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R Hawkins

In this shorter yet jam-packed episode, Mordecai and JD speculate on the mind and the body and how that contributes with letting go.

Books/Writers Referenced:
Bill Bryson - The Body: A Guide for Occupants

Michael A. Singer - The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

David R. Hawkins - Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender (Not sure if this is the correct book)

Barry Magid - Ordinary Mind: Exploring the Common Ground of Zen and Psychotherapy (Not sure if this is the correct book)

Podcast:

The Tim Ferriss Show #485: Jerry Seinfeld — A Comedy Legend’s Systems, Routines, and Methods for Success

Resources:

Misophonia Institute: https://misophoniainstitute.org/

Yeiush as mentioned by JD Stettin: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeiush

Timestamps:
0:01 - 4:40  Misophonia and Physical Response

4:41 - 8:00   When Physical Response Becomes Emotional

8:01 - 12:37 Where's the Line?

12:38 - 16:04 Learning Responses and Letting Go

16:05 - 18:26 Coaching or Psychotherapy?

18:27 - 22:56 Playing Whack-A-Mole

22:57 - 26:51 Embracing Yeiush

JD and Mordecai have reached the top of the mountain, they are committing to peace, analyzing their emotions, simply breathing, and enjoying the chaos of the human experience.

Timestamps
1:15    -  What is Peace?

12:24 - Managing Your Internal Experience With External Anger

15:11 - Everyone Has Experienced Some Sort of Peace

22:47 - Call to Action - Just Breathe

32:11 - Commitment to Finding the Peace

36:13 - Defining Success by Massive Accomplishments

42:25 - When, With Whom and What Do I Do?

53:36 - Enjoy the Chaos

In this perplexing episode, Mordecai and JD examine their journey from the perplexed to really noticing what they find perplexing, how to let go, and how to love themselves.

Timestamps:
0:01 - 06:36    Perplexed 

06:36 - 10:27  The Antidote 

10:27 -15:05   Pursuit/Spirituality  

15:05 - 18:11  Movement 

18:11 - 25:48  Letting Go & Love

25:48 - 28:19  Breath & Heart 

28:19 - 35:38  Self-Love 

35:38 - 47:00 Noticing

Books:
The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman

Mordecai and JD speak with the fascinating Sara Yoheved Rigler. We learn about her spiritual journey from conservative Judaism to living in an ashram and being introduced to the life of the soul. She explains how the Hindu goddess of death brough her back to the Jewish God, and how she is currently fulfilling her purpose in life.

You can find Sara at her website: sararigler.com

Timestamps
0:01-3:52                 Sara Yoheved Rigler Introduction
5:13-19:52              From Brandeis to the Ashram
19:55-28:00           Spirituality
28:01-30:25           Humanistic Psychology: God as The Most Noble Part of a Human Being
30:51- 39:34          Religion of Law or a Religion of Love?
39:35- 47:39         Thank God for 5 Things You've Never Thanked Him For
47:32-54:13          Religion of Detachment vs Religion of Connection
54:14- 1:02.15      Goal of Judaism
1:04.39-1:11.19   Sara's God-Given Mission