Handle It With Humor

Season 1, finally! And the cliffhanger is more intense than “Who shot JR?” and The Walking Dead! How is our move and toddler breaking my husband? Jon reveals what he learned from our first DITY move across country 15 years ago. ADDED BONUS: We found LOST audio that is sure to blow your mind, chock full of stories about Mollie’s parents getting a contact buzz, porn in Vegas, and Jon being high on Norco at Target.

Mollie is MOVING! It's a big ugly sweater Christmas bash with all of Mollie's friends and one guest WILL get peed on. How do you apologize for a diaper-wearing dog with an uncontrollable bladder? Mollie makes further announcements about the future of the show and Andy makes sure this episode has a happy ending.

Julio sits with Marsha and Mollie to school them both about  "Honey Do.." lists, pets, and the holidays. What all families need to know to make sure the fur babies are safe and happy. Coyote urine, being charged 10 cents per bag at the grocery store, and what Mollie's psychic revealed about her missing cat. This episode is equal parts informative and ridiculous. If you don't enjoy it you chew on some bitter apple.

‘Twas the night before Thanksgiving and MARSHA can’t find her cheese! Who are these people who do Black Friday? Have you not heard of Amazon Prime?  Mollie confesses to Marsha all her weekly Mommy fails! Batman for your kids, surviving your husband’s nasty feet and Santa’s lap. Will this new APP help? What is a better gift than STUFF? Marsha and Mollie dish it all and they are exhausted. Amazon Prime should sponsor this episode. We name-drop them shamelessly at least 50 times.  Seriously, you should go with Amazon Prime.

YOU'RE NOT INVITED: to my Kid’s party or to babysit because I am stone cold. Two controlling moms: Jenny V and Mollie sit down and discuss how we basically hurt everyone’s feelings this week. Daddy baby bonding. When mom’s away daddy and baby need to PLAY. What can military wives teach us about friendship and keeping friendships going and who do you invite to your kid’s birthday parties. Be honest, are you just fishing for gifts and how will you pay to feed everyone? Don’t worry whatever you decide, Facebook will ruin it. Jenny V handles setting up boundaries with her mom. The ladies chat about doing the best with the energy you have and who you give it to. 

Mollie sits with Andy to share how this week, her sleep to her bank account have all been hacked. Daylights Savings Time is no help for toddlers, and Mollie reveals all her passcodes. Happy Hacking! 

Trick or Treat! Marty, Claire, Jon, and Mollie podcast post-sugar rush after trick or treat has ended. Terrible twos and saying you’re sorry. “I forgive you?" What do you teach your kids about saying “I’m sorry,” and asking your kid’ for forgiveness. Mollie forgives, but NOT on Halloween when you have no costumes. Instead she will just give you raisins. Mollie is sent over the edge when Jon brags about all the TAIL he got back in Idaho and his confirmed kills. Claire provides meditation for Mollie. Mollie shares how mediation before bed is GREAT for moms. 

“I can’t hear you nagging!” Military vets blame the war for why they never hear their wives’ honey-do list, or maybe it’s just Mollie’s husband. Jarrett gets to play stay-at-home dad for a week. Julio shares from his 20 years’ experience at a local vet clinic: what a family pet can teach your family about responsibility, love, and loss. What really happens when you have to put a pet down, when it’s time to let a pet go, and how to introduce a new pet to the family. Assholes who get rid of their pets just because they are going to have a baby. Most of all we talk about the need to express yourself or at least your pet’s anal gland.

Julio and Marsha sit with Mollie and Marty to discuss the benefits of getting married YOUNG and why you should elope. It’s good for military families and should be for everyone else too. What is a standard gift for fifteen years of marriage? What about push gifts? We hear how Julio and Marsha fell in love in a drive thru and how BIG weddings are too much stress and can make you literally lose your shoes.   

The Kardashians and head lice: This episode will make you ITCH! HEAD LICE: it will happen to you, so how do you deal with your kids, your house ,and everyone who could be infected? Julio and Marsha are in studio to share tips on how to give your kids medication. The baby can climb out of the crib, the four-year-old napped--NOW WHAT?! Julio explains how to tire out your kids before bed and how to get rid of monsters in the closet. Mollie and Marsha are running away, getting the cash from the safety deposit box, and starting over.

Postpartum bikini waxing and ringworm! Do you let your kids hang out with the “unclean” children that are riddled with pox, fungus and infection? Do you tell other parents when your kids are sick? Do you take your kids out in public when they are sick? Do you use your kids as an excuse to avoid going places and SAY your kids are sick? Does Mollie’s toddler have a weird bathroom fetish, or is it just “social pooping?” What’s normal with kids in the bathroom? Judgmental mommy: Side-by-side double strollers and why we hate you. Mollie tries to get Jarrett to support her new Tsum Tsum obsession.

“May the peace be with you!” Jenny V is BACK after giving birth to baby #2!! And we are taking turns smelling the baby’s head. Mollie’s amazing neighbor and mom Marsha is joining us to weigh in on having older kids, having two kids, what to do about introducing the new baby, and how to handle toddler obsessions. “Let sleeping 4-year-olds lie.” What do you do when your kids get up in the middle of the night? When do tantrums stop? Marsha tells the shocking truth. What you DON’T want on the cloud…hint: post-vasectomy photos and your pregnant vulva. Marsha and Jenny V give tips on how to prep older kids for the new baby. And last but MOST important, find out why Mollie is not making eye contact with Marty. 

How to go out to eat with a toddler and not have your waitress spit in your food? Mollie and Edith dish to Marty and Andy all about their mommy date and how they failed to win the waitress over with their screaming babies and shitty tips. Jenny V had her baby and Mollie got addicted to its sweet sweet baby smell. Edith, who is an assistant principle in Los Angeles county explains what “special needs” and “at risk” really mean. How do you bond with baby after weaning? AND what did Edith’s nanny find in the baby’s diaper? All the mysteries are revealed. 

Bill is 22 months and entering into the terrible twos; and with that comes obsessions, independence, and tantrums. Bill is expressing his independence and need for distance from mom and dad. His personality is emerging between the tantrums, and he is solidifying his identity and it is neither male nor female! Marty is back from being on the road. Mollie does a little military wife comedy and talks about what she did when Jon was deployed and what to do with hecklers. The dog sets the tone at the beginning by barfing all over the podcast equipment. It’s downhill from there for Marty, Andy, and Mollie. Bill stops by, as well. Babies, grandparents and anal bleaching! This episode is complete, and if you don’t think so, please “minga” yourself. 

I smell skunk! And it’s not the neighbor’s medical marijuana. Mollie’s cat gets skunked right before she travels to entertain military wives, and she brings the stink to the stage! Mollie explains her new way to help military wives make friends while laughing and having a blast. Jon explains how veterans qualify for FREE penis pumps at the VA hospital. Grandparents are AWESOME for your kids, BUT what’s with old people and Costco? Do ponies distract men from war? Jon reveals Mollie’s nagging-to-thanking ratio. Pure-bred cats, mini sliders, and mayhem. Marty, Claire, Jon, and Mollie bring the immaturity and laughs.  

Boners lasting three days, bikini tattoos, and real stuff stuck in butts. Untold stories from the surgery center. WARNING: This episode is unreal, immature, and totally true. Jon confesses what the nurses sometimes deal with. Why are there no dolls for boys? Is Bill reincarnated or just psychic? Books for adults and kids. These topics don’t balance out the boner and butt stories, but we tried.

Is being a mommy making Mollie a big old boring PRUDE? Marty, Jarrett  and Mollie discuss what is appropriate of all eyes and ears and what is not. What is ridiculous to wear on a t-shirt or have on your car. Jarrett explains what goes over your kids' heads and what doesn’t when it comes to movies and what they see in public. Celebrity appearances in LA, and Bill and Jon make special appearances on the show. Jarret explains that Dads WANT to give Mom a break, because then Dad gets his one-on-one time with the kids. Does Mollie have a phobia of balls? Is being a punk just for people in their 20s? Is Keanu Reeves a celebrity? What about Emilio Estevez? We answer all that and more. 

The very pregnant Jenny V sits down, then gets up again to go to the bathroom, then sits back down to discuss the final preps to have baby #2! The hospital tour, why you should take it, and what you need to bring to the hospital for labor and recovery. WHO ya gonna call FIRST after you have the baby? Tips on how to navigate the phone tree and Facebook to alert EVERYONE that the baby has arrived. PHONE TREE! Mollie reminisces over her last few days before she gave birth and gives tips and APPS that can help you get the news and first pictures out to family once baby is here. The evolution of Mollie’s breast sizes.

This podcast is DEEP FRIED and chock full of Carnies! Mollie, Andy, Marty, and Jon are all in studio to chat about what’s grosser: kids getting car sick or taking them to the fair. Mollie and Jon share how they survived Bill getting car sick and the OC Fair. Techniques to help avoid your rear-facing kids getting car sick and what products can help the clean-up. Fair food, what’s off limits for toddlers and husbands. We confirm Andy is not American because he has never been to the fair. Mollie breaks down Jon’s Scorpio tendencies to be secretive. Does for better or for worse include mistakes (eating or not eating deep fried butter) you make at the fair? Quick tips on how to take your toddler potty in public.

Dietician Sherry Berg sits with Mollie LIVE from the massage studio to discuss the truth behind the hype on fruit and what your kids are eating. Please forgive the sound issues folks--there is still GOOD info here and many laughs. The ladies dish all about being relaxed, beached whales, and FOOD for your kids. Sherry reveals the TRUTH on FRUIT and your kids. Dried fruit, fruit juice, canned veggies: what’s OK to give your kids. AND how to approach soda with your kids.