Joy Lab Podcast

In this episode, we're working on our element of Savoring... and this time, we're savoring the present moment (we savored the past last episode). One of the powerful aspects of this type of savoring is that it really helps us anchor our attention to our experience of savoring vs focusing (or relying) on the actual event. That means we can drum up savoring at any moment and use it as a tool to shift mood in a more positive direction. Tune in for some key strategies and one common obstacle... FOBO (yes, it's different than FOMO).

Key Takeaways:

• Savoring is about focusing on our experience of pleasure. That means it's more experience focused rather than event focused. Research has shown that savoring neutral events can even be as powerful as savoring big celebrations.
• Bryant and Veroff note that “To savor an experience, one must possess and apply a certain degree of mindfulness and meta-awareness.” This means the more present we are, the more we can savor. The more we savor, the more we remember (which enables more savoring of the past!).
• Have you heard about slow-twitch dopamine? Henry just made it up, but it's really cool! That's kind of how we can interpret savoring. It lengthens out our enjoyment and nourishes us more.
• One key obstacle: FOBO (fear of being over). This is a common experience where we let the realization that something is going to end pull us from the present moment. When this happens, we lose the opportunity to savor. 
• Savoring can help us be with this understanding of impermanence and even improve our experience in the moment.
• JOBO (we're loving the acronyms this episode!) can actually help us move beyond FOBO.
• Mindful photography is a fantastic practice to savor in the present moment, particularly when FOBO rises up. 

Links and Sources Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Classic book on Savoring (Bryant and Veroff)
• Current Progress and Future Directions for Theory and Research on Savoring (2021)
• Amy Bloom's website
• Up-regulating positive emotions in everyday life: Strategies, individual differences, and associations with positive emotion and well-being
• Reward-motivated learning: mesolimbic activation precedes memory formation
• Judy Weiser's website on phototherapy and applications
• Saving the Last for Best: A Positivity Bias for End Experiences
• Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions. (Seligman, et al.)
• Consciousness of subjective time in the brain
• Chased by the Light (book by Jim Brandenburg)
• Courage and Light (video series with Jim Brandenburg and Parker Palmer)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147840455

In this episode, we're working on our element of Savoring. This element is a powerful antidote for chronic busyness and feelings of overwhelm. And maybe best of all... it's pretty easy to do. And offers quick benefits. We're talking about savoring the past in this episode, one of the three types of savoring (the others are savoring the present and future). We'll also address a few obstacles to this element of savoring (e.g., getting stuck in repetitive thoughts about the past or glory day living).  

Key Takeaways:

• Savoring has been defined "as attending, appreciating, and enhancing positive experiences that occur in one’s life" (Bryant & Veroff). 
• Change doesn't always have to be so hard. Savoring is a tool to help us unlock that pathway of change.
• Practicing savoring can help us work with our dopamine system in really insightful ways. We can learn how to gain back some control and practice more nourishing skills that bring us pleasure.  
• Three types of savoring were noted by Bryant and Veroff: Savoring the past (also called reminiscing in the research), savoring the present, and savoring the future (also called anticipation in the research). All of these are associated with positive shifts in mental and physical health. Choose your favorite(s)! 
• Two commonly discussed emotional regulation strategies are cognitive reappraisal and effective suppression. We think savoring is another that should be discussed more as it works even earlier in an emotion timeline and requires less effort. 
• We can savor the past without getting locked into it. 
• Key strategy for savoring the past: Three good things. Here's how to do it:
• Find a place where you can relax. When you're settled, ask yourself to remember 3 events that were really positive.
• Write them down if you can and take some time to remember each of them.
• Then, for each one, reflect on some more details...
• Why did this happen?
• What were the circumstances?
• What was your role in it?
• Who else was involved and what part did they play in making it happen?
• End with some deep breaths as you savor any other positive feelings that rise up in your thoughts and in your body.

Links and Sources Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Classic book on Savoring (Bryant and Veroff)
• Current Progress and Future Directions for Theory and Research on Savoring (2021)
• Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life (Amy Krouse Rosenthal) 
• Amy Krouse Rosenthal's website
• Savoring the Past: Positive Memories Evoke Value Representations in the Striatum
• Cognitive reappraisal and expressive suppression strategies role in the emotion regulation: an overview on their modulatory effects and neural correlates
• Does savoring increase happiness? A daily diary study
• Up-regulating positive emotions in everyday life: Strategies, individual differences, and associations with positive emotion and well-being
• Reward-motivated learning: mesolimbic activation precedes memory formation
• Judy Weiser's website on phototherapy and applications
• Saving the Last for Best: A Positivity Bias for End Experiences
• Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions. (Seligman, et al.)
• Back to the future: the effect of daily practice of mental time travel into the future on happiness and anxiety
• Consciousness of subjective time in the brain
• You May Want to Marry My Husband (Amy Krouse Rosenthal)
• Seven Notes on Life- Amy Krouse Rosenthal (her talk starts 5 minutes in)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147840454

In this episode, we're working on our element of Inspiration by looking at our passions more closely...

Harmonious passions are just like inspiration, they fuel us in nourishing and creative ways. Obsessive passions are quite the opposite. They're associated with negative emotions and rigidity.

It's important to understand the difference between these, how they might show up in your life and how you can recalibrate or make a change if your passion has taken hold of you in a way that depletes your mental and physical health.

Key Takeaways:

• Harmonious passions are good for mental and physical health. The key is that we feel nourished by them and we feel in control. 
• Obsessive passions are depleting for us. They also feel like responsibilities that control us. 
• We can recalibrate our passions in healthier ways.
• Strategies to recalibrate your passions and stoke inspiration: 
• Try backing off of an activity that feels like it has a hold on you and feels depleting. Creating some space may reignite that harmonious spark for you.
• Explore a new passion. Try something new that feels exciting and fun to you. 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 10  ("Inspiration: The Engine of Joy" ... gives some great basics for this element of inspiration) 
• Joy Lab podcast episode 11  ("The Forgotten Key to Happiness" ... gives some great basics for the element of savoring) 
• About Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
• Les Passions de l’Aˆ me: On Obsessive and Harmonious Passion (Vallerand et al.)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147840453

The element for this episode is “inspiration.” In the last two episodes, we dug into some strong myths around change and happiness. These centered around the false beliefs that we’re broken; that we need to be fixed; or that we need to change ourselves, our environment, or someone else to feel some happiness. If you haven't listened to those episodes (yet!), just know that those are super sticky myths. They come up a lot. Here at Joy Lab, we work on building ourselves up in powerful ways that quiet that talk. 

At the same time, of course we want to make changes in our lives. So, in this episode have five principles that can help you create positive change. The key is that these changes are built from from a foundation of self-acceptance. A place of self-love that fuels change because you care about yourself. And that foundation and fuel inspires changes that are lasting and meaningful. 

Key Takeaways:

• Five principles for inspired change:
  • Inspired change is grounded in radical self-acceptance.
  • Inspired change begins deep within.
  • Inspired change embraces even the resistance to change.
  • Inspired change happens in connection.
  • Inspired change is a process, and not a simple, linear one.

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 10  ("Inspiration: The Engine of Joy" ... gives some great basics for this element of inspiration): 
• Joy Lab podcast episode 40 (Resolution #1: You Don’t Need to Be Fixed)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 41 (The Myths of Change)
• The Chemistry of Joy and The Chemistry of Joy Workbook (both by Henry Emmons, MD)
• Broaden and Build Model
• Integrative Model for Behavioral Prediction (this is not the original article, but a full text version that offers a great background and applies the model to health communication interventions)
• A functional genomic perspective on human well-being (Dr. Fredrickson study)
• How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world (Dr. Lally study)
• On Becoming a Person (Carl Rogers book)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147826839

The element for this episode is “inspiration.” We explored this element last episode, busting the myth that you need to be fixed. In the episode, we’re talking more about the myths of change.  

There's a jargon-y term that applies here, it's called the "fallacy of change." This is the belief that in order to be happy, to feel comfortable with ourselves, that something needs to change. We may believe we need to change, but often, we think someone else or something else needs to change. We’ll dive into this myth/fallacy more in this episode.

The paradox is, after we acknowledge this myth and move into more self-acceptance, then we break down the wall separating us from our joy. With that new space, our building blocks of joy can more quickly create the steps needed for more lasting, positive changes in our lives. 

Key Takeaways:

• The fallacy of change is the rejection of our current state and a belief that our happiness is not in our own power, but dependent on the people or circumstances around us.
• Locus of control is important here... an internal locus of control is the belief that the outcomes of your actions are based on what YOU do. That orientation (when it's contextually appropriate) is important for mental health. We can't hold out our happiness based on external circumstances.
• Do you have a Dan Marino in your life? Someone who you believe held the football wrong on you? If you have no idea what that means, you just need to listen to the episode to gain the pearl of wisdom here (yes, it's from a Jim Carrey movie)...
• "Spotlighting the right" is a powerful behavioral change strategy. Instead of nagging or punishing, we can focus on the positive behaviors that are moving us toward a goal. It's a simple, but powerful shift.
• Fear, shame, and guilt are bad motivators for lasting change. They may ignite a first action, but the fuel fizzles out fast and the desired change doesn't have enough positive support to become a healthy habit. 
• We'll dig more into how we can move beyond these myths in next episode.

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 10  ("Inspiration: The Engine of Joy" ... gives some great basics for this element of inspiration): 
• Joy Lab podcast episode 40 (Resolution #1: You Don’t Need to Be Fixed)
•  

• Differential associations of locus of control with anxiety, depression and life-events: A five-wave, nine-year study to test stability and change

• Nudge theory (Thaler's book- Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness)
• Victor Frankl: The Will to Meaning: Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy. 

Full transcript available: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147826838

Perhaps you're tuning in as we move into this new near. Have you set any resolutions yet? Whether or not you have, we'd like to suggest you put one resolution on the top of your list. Here it is for you (you can copy and paste as the background on your device):

Resolution 1: I don't need to be fixed. 

Yup. That's the resolution that will actually fuel more inspiration and positive changes than any other one we can think of. Aren't convinced? Tune into this episode to learn why this kind of strength-based foundation brews up inspiration and sustains positive changes that you want to create in your life. And be sure to head over to our free Resilience Quiz to identify your Resilience Type. It's a powerful tool to help you with this resolution and to move forward from a place of strength.

Key Takeaways:

• Starting from a place of strength (that we don't need to be fixed) creates a broadening effect in our minds. We're able to see more opportunities, problem-solve obstacles more efficiently, be gentler with ourselves, and stay more motivated to stick with our inspired goals. 
• Negative emotions are not bad, but when we hang on to them too long, they create constriction in our mind and body. We're not as able to tap into our creativity, inspiration, motivation, and more when negative emotions close us up.
• We are more than our pathology and/or labels. 
• Discover your Resilience Type with our free Resilience Quiz to help streamline your activities and come back to balance. This is a powerful tool that helps you create positive changes from a place of strength. 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Free Resilience Quiz to identify your Resilience Type and learn the personalized lifestyle strategies that can support you best (including diet, exercise, supplements, and mind-body practices to support sleep, stress management, and mood). 
• Joy Lab podcast episode 10 (Inspiration: The Engine of Joy)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147826731

We all have pieces of ourselves that we feel are flawed, broken, and that we reject. That rejection keeps us in a stuck place. This meditation helps to bring these stories to the surface so that we can let them go and give ourselves the care and inspiration to move forward. This meditation can feel intense, so if you need to back off or pause during it, please do. We talked a bit about why this can be hard in episode 29 (Backdraft: When Being Good to Yourself Feels Bad). 

This meditation is also a bit of a taste of how we work in the Joy Lab program, taking these elements of joy and creating new paths with them so we can uncover our most joyful, resilient, and accepted self.

Key Takeaways:

• Like working with any system or tool, you need to practice. Use this meditation to practice the self-acceptance that is necessary for a healthy body and mind.
• It's really true...you're not broken. This meditation can help us let go of the stories that aren't serving us and move forward with inspiration and self-care. 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 29 (Backdraft: When Being Good to Yourself Feels Bad)
  
  

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147812920

In this episode, we're talking about three common roadblocks that stand in the way of our element of sympathetic joy (and joy in general). These three obstacles trick us into feeling like we're always the victim, there's never enough (time, money, relationships, jobs... everything), and that we are lacking or flawed in some way. These obstacles are sneaky, but when you start to notice them, they can be tamed and overcome. Tune in for some strategies and encouragement to overcome these obstacles and to make more space for joy.

Key Takeaways:

• The fallacy of fairness keeps us stuck in resentment, jealousy, and in a victim role. It's a sneaky and really common obstacle that can really hold us back. This fallacy also keeps us from actually seeing what is objectively unfair... which means we fight every single battle with the belief that everything we don't like is unfair, we are always the victim, and we have no power in making a change. That's an exhausting and defeating place to be. That leaves us no energy for much else, including working to change systems or sound the alarm when something is objectively unfair. 
• The fallacy of scarcity tricks us into thinking that we never have enough. This keeps us on this ever-racing-track of wanting more and more and never settling into a feeling of contentment or ease.
• And that last obstacle we're talking about in this episode keeps us locked into this feeling that we are flawed or lacking in some way. This is false. You are not flawed, broken, or lacking some essential quality. At Joy Lab, we work on building the elements in our lives that help us step into our most authentic, joyful, and perfect-for-us selves. 
• Interoception is a powerful skill that we can use to navigate these obstacles and regulate our emotions toward something that nourishes us more.

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 9 (Sympathetic Joy: Happiness Goes Viral)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 34 (Meditation with Music: Heart-Opening Meditation)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 36 (Eight Billion Quick Tips for Joy)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 37 (Meditation with Music: Sympathetic Joy Meditation)
• Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (personal website)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147812918

This meditation is a surprisingly helpful tool to shift mood and perspective. If you're not sure what sympathetic joy is, head to our last episode, number 36, before or after this. But, the short version is that we're sharing in each other's joy with this element of sympathetic joy and this meditation will help you do just that. This meditation is also a bit of a taste of how we work in the Joy Lab program, so please join us over there for more tools to uncover your most joyful self. 

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• Like working with any system or tool, you need to practice. Use this meditation to practice seeing and taking in more joy.
• It's really true...there is a lot of joy around you and in you. Once you see more of it, you'll feel more of it, and you'll share more of it. 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 36 (8 Billion Quick Tips for Joy)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147812917

Sympathetic joy may sound like a... funny kind of element. But it is surprisingly powerful. This element encourages us to join in with all the joy that is around us. That means when someone else (like any of the 8 billion folks on the planet) is experiencing happiness or some good fortune, we can participate. And that participation can give us the emotional and physical health benefits, just as if we had experienced the happiness or good fortune ourselves. In this episode, Drs. Emmons and Prasek talk more about this element, some common obstacles, and offer a few key strategies to apply it in your life. 

Key Takeaways:

• Emotions are contagious... meaning we can catch moments of happiness from others. That's what sympathetic joy is all about. Joining in with the happiness that you see around you so that you feel that happiness in you as well.  
• As the Dalai Lama said: “Why rely just on your own good fortune to be happy?  If there are 8 billion people in the world, and you can be happy for their good fortune, then you have just increased your chances of being happy by 8 billion times!”
• One obstacle to sympathetic joy is simply the lack of attention to it.
• One important way to boost wellbeing is to ensure you have "relational diversity of one's social portfolio." That sounds way more complicated than it is.. essentially it means having a mix of interactions and relationships with people who you feel close to and also with those who you feel not so close too. This diverse social network is better than just interacting with a small group of close friends and/or family. 
• You can implement the Kevin Bacon effect to boost your wellbeing...tune in for more.
• One key strategy to put this element into practice is to focus on 1-3 people who you feel demonstrate happiness or another quality that just makes you feel good when you think about them. Sit with that quality that they have and really tap into how it shows up for them and how it makes you feel. Maybe even tell them that this quality is something that rubs off on you as well. That's the power of sympathetic joy! 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 9 (Sympathetic Joy: Happiness Goes Viral)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 30 (Gratitude in the Wild: See What Is)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 25 (Learning to Love Well: Create a House of Belonging- discussing Dunbar's number and numbers of friendships for wellbeing)
• Relational diversity in social portfolios predicts well-being (Collins, et al., 2022)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147812914

How do our elements of joy help us build this internal, infinite supply of joy that is within us? One reason is that we don't focus on happiness here at Joy Lab. Sounds wild, right? That's because of a little thing called the happiness paradox. Tune in for this episode as Aimee talks about this obstacle and how we use our elements of joy to overcome it. You'll also get a super simple and surprisingly effective strategy to boost your joy... and it involves reality tv and your least favorite sports team... enJOY!

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• Joy is not the same as happiness. It's also not the opposite of depression. Joy is a deeper state of being that we can build up and maintain all the time.
• Chasing happiness is a recipe for fatigue and frustration.
• The happiness paradox is a reminder that we can instead build our elements of joy to uncover the inner state that we're actually after, and that is natural to us.
• Have fun with your work... try the simple sympathetic joy practice Aimee suggests in this episode:
  • Cheer for your rival sports team.
  • Watch a competition show and cheer for everyone. 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 8 (Why Gratitude Is Good [And Gratefulness Is Great])
• Joy Lab podcast episode 9 (Sympathetic Joy: Happiness Goes Viral)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 30 (Gratitude in the Wild: See What Is)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 31 (Gratitude in the Wild: Accept What Is)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 32 (Gratitude in the Wild: Choose Wisely)
• The paradox of pursuing happiness (Zerwas & Ford, 2021)
• Fronto-striatal activity predicts anhedonia and positive empathy subtypes (Mirabito, et al., 2019) [this is the study with Extreme Makeover: Home Edition]

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147812899

In this episode, we're building on what we've discussed in our last few episodes on Gratitude. After a short intro from Aimee, you'll find the Heart-Opening Meditation from Henry. It's a powerful practice to tune into your internal biofeedback tools (your superpower of interception) and to create more space to see-accept-choose with all the good stuff that is around you.

p.s. If you're not sure what "see-accept-choose" refers to, be sure to listen to episodes 30, 31, and 32. It's a powerful system to calm your stress response, come back to your most balanced state, and move forward in ways that nourish you more. 

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• You have a built-in biofeedback system that can help you notice and open up to let in more of the good. 
• Like working with any system or tool, you need to practice. Use this meditation to hone your skills so you can notice sensations in your body more quickly and with better discernment and so you can feel more grounded, more open, and filled with more gratitude.

Links Mentioned:

Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)

Joy Lab podcast episode 8 (Why Gratitude Is Good [And Gratefulness Is Great])

Joy Lab podcast episode 30 (Gratitude in the Wild: See What Is)

Joy Lab podcast episode 31 (Gratitude in the Wild: Accept What Is)

Joy Lab podcast episode 32 (Gratitude in the Wild: Choose Wisely)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147811444

Greetings, everyone! You'll see three special meditations show up soon wherever you listen or watch your Joy Lab podcast. These three meditations will help you work with the elements of gratitude, sympathetic joy, and transitioning into the new year with our element of inspiration. 

The first one will be episode #34. You'll then have two more, episodes #37 and #39. 

We hope you find these meditation nourishing. Use them again and again, whenever you need to brew up these elements of joy and tap into your most resilient, joyful self. 

Key Takeaways:

• You have a built-in biofeedback system that can help you notice and open up to let in more of the good. The mediations that we'll offer you over the next two months will help you work with that system.
• Like working with any system or tool, you need to practice. Use these meditations to hone your skills so you can notice sensations in your body more quickly and with better discernment and so you can feel more grounded, more open, and filled with more gratitude.

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 8 (Why Gratitude Is Good [And Gratefulness Is Great])
• Joy Lab podcast episode 30 (Gratitude in the Wild: See What Is)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 31 (Gratitude in the Wild: Accept What Is)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 32 (Gratitude in the Wild: Choose Wisely)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147812889

In this episode, we're talking about the element of Gratitude and the third of our strategies to put it into practice (see the first and second strategies in episodes #30 and #31, respectively). This strategy of "Choosing Wisely" may sound boring or cliche (for example: Are you sick of #gratitude posts?), but this is where gratitude hits the real world and where we take action. And as we take actions that flex our gratitude muscles, we'll get stronger in this element and shift our default toward more grateful living. 

p.s. We're grateful you're here with us at the Joy Lab! 

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• Letting our wise mind weigh in allows us to make healthier choices more easily, more often. That's the power of our see what is, accept what is, choose wisely process.
• The power of habit energy... and gratitude energy. We can rely on our love of habits to create a new pattern/habit of gratitude that fuels itself.
• Gratitude practice idea: Whenever you're receiving customer service, apply the see what is, accept what is, choose wisely process with gratitude. 
• Another gratitude practice idea: Try gratitude coins! And then send them off into the world to grow new things. 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 8 (Why Gratitude Is Good [And Gratefulness Is Great])
• Joy Lab podcast episode 30 (Gratitude in the Wild: See What Is)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 31 (Gratitude in the Wild: Accept What Is)
• Watch this episode on YouTube.

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147807125

In this episode, we're talking about the element of Gratitude and the second of our strategies to put it into practice (see the first strategy in episode #30). This strategy of "Accepting what is" can be tough. Interestingly, even accepting the good things in our lives can be tough. We'll talk about why this happens and also identify some key obstacles that keep gratitude at a distance (i.e., mindlessness, grasping, and aversion), and how we can open up to accept the good, the bad... and everything else. You'll also learn a super simple gratitude practice that is worth two million dollars!

p.s. We're grateful you're here with us at the Joy Lab! 

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• Acceptance is not the same as giving up. Acceptance actually gives us an honest platform to work from. If we choose to fight, we can and we can be more clear about what we're dealing with and what needs to be done. We might also choose to let things be as they are and let ourselves feel better about them. It's really just when we're unwilling to accept things as they actually are, that we get ourselves into trouble. 
• Some key obstacles can stand in the way of gratitude and acceptance. These are: aversion, grasping, and mindlessness. And of course... cheraphobia!
• Cheraphobia is the fear of being happy. It's surprisingly common. Gratitude and acceptance are powerful strategies for this. 
• You can use your hands as a real-time neurofeedback tool to practice gratitude and acceptance (it's cheaper than a 2 million dollar fMRI machine!)

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 8 (Why Gratitude Is Good [And Gratefulness Is Great])
• Joy Lab podcast episode 30 (Gratitude in the Wild: See What Is)
• Sharon Salzberg (personal website)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147807028

In this episode, we're talking about the element of Gratitude. There's a ton of research on gratitude and how powerful it can be for mental health. We'll talk about a really helpful step-by-step strategy that can be used to keep gratitude alive, even during tough times. We'll talk about the first of these strategies, "See what is" in this episode and follow up with two more episodes for the rest ("Accept what is" and "Choose wisely"). Seeing, accepting, and choosing may sound a little dull, but you'll likely be surprised how this process can boost present moment awareness and gratitude in big ways. 

p.s. We're grateful you're here with us at the Joy Lab! 

Key Takeaways:

• In this episode, we're focusing on seeing things as they really are and bringing more attention to the good things that exist, no matter the situation. 
• It can be hard to practice gratitude amidst the knowledge that we'll also feel the pain of losing those people or things in time. However, as we practice gratitude and our other elements of joy, that knowledge of impermanence (AKA everything changes) can shift from an obstacle to fuel for gratitude.
• A daily practice of gratitude is a powerful tool to reduce depression. Even simple practices, as short as 3 minutes, can have significant, positive impacts on mood.
• Optimists and pessimists aren't so different... they can access gratitude equally. 
• We like to think of the negativity bias as a survival bias. If you fall into this category, you're an excellent surveiller of your environment! That's a good evolutionary trait. Of course, too much can turn into chronic worrying, anxiety, and other behaviors. We'll talk about how to quiet that surveillance when it's not needed and how gratitude can help. 

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 8 (Why Gratitude Is Good [And Gratefulness Is Great])
• Zadie Smith (personal website)
• Richard Rohr (Center for Action and Contemplation- founded by Richard Rohr)
• Sabrina Benaim (personal website)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147805919 

In this episode, Aimee is talking about an interesting obstacle to self-compassion: Backdraft. Just to note, this isn't about the 1991 movie, Backdraft (though who doesn't love a De Niro flick?!). Instead, we're talking about a fire science term that psychology also uses to describe a pretty uncomfortable feeling that can arise when we open ourselves up and let in some self-compassion. Listen in for how this phenomenon takes shape and three tips to ease it so you can continue practicing this essential element of self-compassion. 

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• Love reveals anything unlike itself... the brain is wired to present all the ways we haven't been compassionate.
• We have been trained to be hard on ourselves. That means it's logical if backdraft is coming up for you. The only antidote is self-compassion. 
• Note that if you're experiencing a lot of backdraft, it is important to get support from a practitioner or trusted individual who can help you through. 
• Three tips to consider to help ease backdraft: 
  • Stop, then yield.
  • Feel it to heal it. 
  • Name it to tame it.

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (go deeper with everything you learn from the podcast)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 7 (You're Wired for Compassion)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 26 (Self-Compassion: Don't Believe Everything You Think [about yourself])
• Joy Lab podcast episode 27 (Self-Compassion: Easing Up On Yourself )
• Joy Lab podcast episode 28 (Self-Compassion: Remembering You're Not Alone)
• Mindful Self-Compassion Program

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147804502

Joy Lab Podcast (episode 28)

In this episode, we're talking about self-compassion. We're digging into that third aspect of self-compassion noted by researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, which is: common humanity vs isolation. The essence of this aspect includes the feelings of not belonging and feeling alone in our suffering. Dr. Neff describes this: 

"Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational, but pervasive sense of isolation. As if 'I' were the only person suffering or making mistakes.

All humans suffer. However, the very definition of being human means that one is mortal, vulnerable, and imperfect. Therefore self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience. Something that we all go through, rather than being something that happens to me alone."

In this episode, we'll work to break out of isolation and break out of these cycles of self-isolation. 

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• We have to acknowledge that there are external things in our lives that we have little control over. We have more leverage, more control over our inner experience. 
• Self-compassion offers us an opportunity to stop fighting with our depression and anxiety.
• We have to hold ourselves and our pain with love to get relief. 
• Social pain, the feeling of being left out, is literally painful, using the same pain circuitry as physical pain does. That means when we feel supported, our interpretation of pain will be reduced.
• Fight, flight, and bite are not are only ways to handle stress... The "tend and befriend" response offers us another avenue to handle stress and reduce social pain.

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (go deeper with everything you learn from the podcast)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 7 (You're Wired for Compassion)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 26 (mindfulness vs over-identification)
• Joy Lab podcast episode 27 (self-kindness vs self-judgment)
• Dr. Kristin Neff's website
• Research: The Neurobiology Shaping Affective Touch: Expectation, Motivation, and Meaning in the Multisensory Context
• Research: First Things First: Parent Psychological Flexibility and Self-Compassion During COVID-19 
• Research: Self-compassion as a predictor of interleukin-6 response to acute psychosocial stress 
• Research: Self-Compassion Increases Self-Improvement Motivation 
• Tend and Befriend Theory
• More about Mr. Rogers and a letter to himself (from The NY Times).

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147803484

Joy Lab Podcast (episode 27)

In this episode, we're talking about self-compassion. We're exploring the three aspects of self-compassion noted by researcher Dr. Kristin Neff. The first, mindfulness vs over-identification, was last episode and this second one is known as self-kindness vs. self-judgment. In this episode, we'll explore how self-kindness is powerful fuel for positive change and at the same time, how this aspect of self-compassion reminds us that we are not broken and don't need fixing. 

Key Takeaways (see full transcript below):

• We access a lot of healing power when we practice self-compassion.
• Self-kindness is a practice that can be learned and improved on. That means it's always within our potential, we just might be out of practice. 
• Negative self-talk, harsh self-judgment, and self-criticism are all positively correlated with depression and anxiety. That means the more negative self-talk, self-judgment, or self-criticism we have, the higher the risk we'll have for depression and anxiety.
• Unconscious, negative thinking creates a lot of unnecessary emotional suffering. The metaphor of the first and second arrows is the perfect illustration for this.
• The power of our practice is to notice more quickly when this negative thinking and self-judgment start chattering. We can then more quickly ignore it. It will rear its head again and again, but the power comes in dismissing it.
• Practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make things far more joyful. Consider Aimee's big bomb at an interview when her self-judgment crashed her... we're laughing with you, Aimee, not at you ;)
• In next episode, we'll build more supports on these two aspects of mindfulness and self-kindness with the aspect of "common humanity vs isolation."

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (go deeper with everything you learn from the podcast)
• Joy Lab podcast episode #7 (You're Wired for Compassion)
• Joy Lab podcast episode #26 (mindfulness vs over-identification)
• Dr. Kristin Neff's website
• Mary Oliver (poetry foundation)

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147803481

Joy Lab Podcast (episode 26)

In this episode, we're talking about self-compassion. Why? Because most of the time, we're complete jackasses to ourselves. We say cruel things to ourselves, set ridiculously impossible expectations, and perhaps most destructive... we tend to believe what we think. The obstacle related to that tendency is known as "over-identification." We'll get into that obstacle in this episode and discuss simple self-compassion strategies to help us overcome this obstacle. Oooh... one last thing... do you think self-compassion will turn you into a narcissistic slug? Listen in as well to hear how self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools for healthy productivity and behavior change.

Key Takeaways:

• Self-compassion is the other half of compassion. We MUST be compassionate to ourselves if we want to be compassionate toward others.
• Self-compassion supports healthy behavior change because we are more motivated to make changes when we want to care for ourselves (vs. wanting to make changes because we feel worthless or unacceptable).    
• Some wisdom from Stuart Smalley (the healing power of comedy!).
• Self-esteem is different than self-compassion. Self-compassion is more dependable and a better fuel for positive change.
• Over-identification is a common obstacle of self-compassion. The basic problem is that we believe everything we think (that's a problem because much of what we think just isn't true).
• Our background noise (aka our self-talk) can be very toxic. Being aware of this noise is a key first step to quieting it down (the power of mindfulness).
• John Steinbeck: "And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."
• The 51% rule is great for perfectionists and procrastinators.
• The chaos to rigidity spectrum suggests that when stress hits, we'll swing to one side. To stay healthy, we have to find the middle. 
• Simple strategies to get out of over-identification:
  • Simple swaps in self-talk can be powerful. Once you catch yourself spiraling in negative self-talk, swap it with simple, gentle words like, "Oops!"
  • Get out of your head and into your body. Preferably in nature. 
• In next episode, we'll build on this more quiet headspace with more strategies to infuse self-compassion.

Links Mentioned:

• Joy Lab Program (go deeper with everything you learn from the podcast)
• Joy Lab podcast episode #7 (You're Wired for Compassion)
• Dr. Kristin Neff's website
• Dr. Dan Siegel's website 

Full transcript available at: https://www.naturalmentalhealth.com/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2147802952