Life With Herpes

Being diagnosed with herpes in 2003 is very different than being diagnosed with herpes in 2022 . The major difference is the ability to find resources and educate yourself because back in the early 2000's it was even more taboo than now.

Alexandra shares her point of view from 2003 till today in 2022. There are three things that really stand out.

Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.
This year in 2022 falls on the same days of the week as in 2011. I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 11 years ago, build awareness and hand hold you through your diagnosis. Reconnect so that you know you are not alone.

When we hear about herpes or are diagnosed with herpes we automatically think we have to use a condom or some type of protection for the rest of our life.

I've had a lot of you ask me about my story and how did I get pregnant and was I worried about transmitting it to my husband.

Monolaurin is becoming more and more popular among people looking for a healthy lifestyle. Coconuts and palm kernel oil are almost the only source of it, apart from human breast milk. Later telling us how important actually is for humans.

Monolaurin has the ability to break the outer shell of enveloped viruses, meaning it can actually help us fight those viruses way better and faster. And since herpes is one of the enveloped viruses, it can do a lot for our immune system in that sense.

Before getting herpes or a STD/STI I was terrified of getting one, especially herpes. I mean look at what the stigma says about people who have herpes. They are disgusting, they have slept around, they are whores that got this because they did something wrong and now they are paying for it and it can go on and on. Obviously I don’t beige this stigma and neither should you.

Your dating life is not over now that you have herpes. Promise!!! Having herpes or not rejection happens and that’s okay and it’s part of life. I disclosed to guys that I was interested in and got rejected, I also disclosed as way to get out of having sex and that totally backfired and then I’ve disclosed and it’s been no problem.

I was diagnosed with herpes in 2011. That doesn’t sound like it was too long ago and that we haven't had to many changes but really, when you think about it we’ve had a ton of technological changes. Let me take you back to 2011. There was google, but it wasn’t what it is today. There was Facebook and Instagram, but neither had the impact that they have today. So what I’m trying to say is that there wasn’t the information out there that there is now. When I googled herpes, or who had herpes back in 2011, the only information that came up was something very sterile from either WebMD or Planned Parenthood that just gave the facts about herpes but didn’t help with the stigma. I think I logged off feeling worse about myself than when the doctor told me about my diagnosis.

Now that we have herpes we want to know what the chances are that we’re going to transmit herpes to our partner. I get asked this daily on my lives and in the comments. There is the preconceived thought that if you have herpes you’re contagious all the time and you’ll have outbreaks all the time and that your entire body is contagious. I can happily tell you that that is not true.

With herpes being so common it’s actually rare to find someone without it. I hear time and time again from people who are just diagnosed with herpes, or if they haven’t processed their herpes diagnosis, say that their partner should go find someone without herpes. Or when a rejection happens the person is thinking that it's going to be way easier to find someone else without herpes.

It’s totally possible and your dating life can be totally normal. In general we put so much on our plate to date. Things like: he has to be the one, or I’m so tired of dating immature people, are there any good ones left out there, ugh, here we go again and so on. We females put pressure on ourselves to find a good one and settle down, it’s what society expects from us. Regardless there is pressure from all angles to date and find someone.

Let me tell you a bit about my pregnancy. I went through IVF to have Clinton and I never had an outbreak during any of the hormonal treatments and IVF treatments to get pregnant. Then fast forward I don’t believe I had outbreaks in my first trimester but then in my second trimester, I started having few and then in my last trimester I had them back to back.

This topic brings up so many emotions. If you just slept with someone and they then later told you that they have herpes, I’m sure you are angry and confused. And if you have herpes and just slept with someone and didn’t tell them, I bet you have a lump in you stomach.

There are times that I have had an outbreak and my husband and I have wanted to have sex. Whether it’s been when we are on vacation, or just because. With that being said, we’ve gotten creative and still had a great time getting between the sheets.

If you’ve just gotten herpes and you are in a ton of pain physically and emotionally, I know what you are going through. 

Sometimes when I look back I think it’s the physical pain that is the most. And then there are other times I think, no, it’s the emotional pain. Regardless they are both there and you are probably feeling something that you have never felt before. 

First of all, I want you to take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel that way but you will get through this. Remember, every storm runs out of rain. 

I’ve been getting lots of questions like; will sweat cause an outbreak, will friction cause an outbreak, will HITT cause me to get an outbreak, professional bodybuilders have asked questions about pre workout and so on.

Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.

One of the biggest fears or thoughts are about having sex when you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is that you’ll have to use a condom for the rest of your life. 

Our biggest fear, once we’re diagnosed, is dating. It’s the fear of rejection, it’s the how do I disclose, do I need to disclose and so on. All of these feelings questions and emotions are valid and an important part of the herpes journey.

So yes, there are some things you can do to help manage your herpes outbreaks and/or feed your herpes outbreak. In other blog posts I talk about lifestyle, supplements and why people get outbreaks. So today I’m going to talk about foods that feed outbreaks and why.

Why me? This is something I asked myself for years. I would sit crying wondering why this happened to me. What did I do to deserve this? I couldn’t think of anything worse than getting diagnosed with herpes.

This is something that I felt was so important to put together and I really wish it was something that I could have walked away with when I was diagnosed. I wish that Dr. would have said, "there is this great online community called Life with Herpes and there is an Outbreak Toolkit that has everything you need to know about herpes.”