Listen Hearter

From the episode:
"I don't know what it is, and I'm okay with not knowing what it is." - Brandy Little

"You're also only seeing through your own lens too, and your own lens is so limited." - Tonia McIntosh

"You basically break your own heart constantly just by the thoughts that you have, because you put yourself through situations, you start visualizing all these scenarios, and you become completely immersed in these thoughts. Your heart is breaking because you believe that it's all true. You break your heart a million times, and you didn't even need to do that, because none of it really happened." - Tonia Mcintosh

"We have to leave room for our assumptions to be wrong." - Brandy Little

"When I travel abroad, I started to change my assumptions. After being burned and scammed quite a bit, I decided that, if I wanted to be safe, I had to  assume that everyone was out to hurt me, harm me, or scam me. It really sucked because sometimes you just want to trust people, and I probably shut the door on potential cool experiences." - Brandy Little

"It's such an art form to learn how to weave through these things and like not let it change you." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you had to assign high school me two adjectives, one would be too trusting and the other would be naive." - Brandy Little

"If you lead with trust, those things can still happen, but when you're leading with fear, it's almost like you're guaranteed fear to come." - Tonia McIntosh

"I do believe everything happens as it should." - Tonia McIntosh
 
"Tonia and I have followed a non traditional life path." - Brandy Little

"That's what I need, and 'need' is the key word. If someone identifies something they need, listen, listen, listen." - Brandy Little

"I think the one thing that I trust the most of all is that everything does work out as it should." - Tonia McIntosh

"I do think that people that are meant for us are going to love you through all of that, and if you lose some people along the way, then maybe they weren't meant for you and maybe they'll come back." - Tonia McIntosh

"Don't force something to stay in your life, especially if it doesn't bring you joy." - Brandy Little

"I am just going to love what we had, release it, and look at what I do have." - Brandy Little

"You can look at what you have, or you can look at what you don't have." - Tonia McIntosh

"To trust myself enough means if something comes up, I'm going to be able to figure it out, or if something bad happens to me, I'm going to be able to make it through it." - Tonia McIntosh

"There's all these times where we're like, 'Next year I'll be on that trad path,' and it just never happens. And we realize that we're just not on the path that society's laid out." = Brandy Little

Quotes Mentioned

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." - Randall Terry

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From the episode:
"If you ever go into the bookstore and realize Tonia is in this bookstore, there's three sections you will fine me in: One is the notebook section, because I keep buying notebooks. The second section is the main section I'll be in, which is the self help section. I'm obsessed with self-help. The third section is the new age section." - Tonia McIntosh

"Tonia doesn't use notebooks. If there is anything I could succeed at, it might be to get Tonia to just write things down in her phone or a notebook, or really anywhere." - Brandy Little

"I devour books." - Tonia McIntosh

"The heart of it is beautiful and the heart of it is real, and that's really all that matters at the end of the day." - Tonia McIntosh

"You have to embrace the parts of yourself that are harder to love. You have to love yourself holistically, like as a whole being. You have to love all the parts of yourself. So, you can't just be like, 'I love this and this about me, but this and this, these parts of myself I hate, or I'm not even going to acknowledge these parts of myself.'" - Tonia McIntosh

"There's intent and actual outcome. My intention is best, but is the result also going to match that intention?" - Brandy Little

"Everything you do is a trade off - When you say yes to something, you're saying no to something. When you're focusing on something, you're not focusing on something else." - Brandy Little

"Everything really just comes down to what you're maximizing, but there's usually some sort of costs involved, and so you have to figure out what matters most to you." - Brandy Little

"There's certain places where you can shine the light, but if you're shining the light on these areas, then there's going to be a shadow and in different places, because a light breaks." - Tonia McIntosh

"Light and dark are kind of two sides of the same coin." - Tonia McIntosh

"The goal is to get to a point where you're just fully loving of all parts of yourself and embrace them as they show up and in whatever manner that they show up." - Tonia McIntosh

"Love yourself as a caterpillar - you don't have to wait until you're a butterfly to love yourself." - Brandy Little

"It really is about the journey and not the end points." - Brandy Little

"Light and darkness is a spectrum." - Tonia McIntosh

"We're all capable of casting light and we're all capable of casting a shadow, because that's what it is to be fully human." - Tonia McIntosh

"Sometimes you have to make a loving choice for yourself and it ends up hurting people. Sometimes you have to make those kinds of hard decisions." = Tonia McIntosh

"Sometimes our actions create shadow." - Tonia McIntosh

"It's also worth recognizing not just the shadow within yourself, but the shadow in others, and try to make space for those people. But also, forgive yourself for the space that you can't hold for someone." - Brandy Little

"Wow! How interesting this shadow episode got dark?" - Tonia McIntosh

"You have to know your own boundaries, what you're capable of, and what kind of space you're capable of holding for someone." - Brandy Little

"Knowing your boundaries is really important, because then you know how much you can give and when you have given all that you can." - Brandy Little

"Maybe the shadow is everything that is behind us." - Tonia Mcintosh

"I think we have like five or six different definitions of the shadow self." - Brandy Little

"I know we don't like to talk about dark things that much, but there's value in it. If it were a book, we wouldn't be in that section." - Tonia McIntosh

"We can't ignore all the parts." - Brandy Little

Books Mentioned
The Social Leap: The New Evolutionary Science of Who We Are, Where We Come From, and What Makes Us Happy | https://amzn.to/3sR1myM
Crime & Punishment | https://amzn.to/3rqEINp

Quotes Mentioned
"I cried not so much out of a sense of loss, but from the pain that almost always comes with change, it has a sad kind of freedom." - Dolly Parton

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From the episode:
"One of the things that I've been just thinking about is our attachment to things that may not really serve us, but we think we need them." - Brandy Little

"We attach ourselves to what's familiar even though sometimes it's not necessarily the best thing for us. We know how to navigate this world, the familiar. We don't know how to navigate a world without it." - Brandy Little

"We seek out the familiar. It's terrifying to go into the unfamiliar and to be vulnerable in that way." - Tonia McIntosh

"Forward note." - Tonia McIntosh

"I think a lot of it has to do with consciously making choices versus unconsciously making choices. It's a whole different ball game when you are consciously choosing something, because you have to be honest to do that, you have to really think, and you have to really look around you and be like, 'I have to say some hard things to say to myself right now. Not only do I have to say some hard things to myself right now, but I have to hear those things that I'm saying, and really know that what I should be choosing something different than what feels good.'" - Tonia McIntosh

"You have to accept the option that maybe the way you were thinking about yourself, the way you're defining yourself, the way you're living, isn't the only way, and that's really hard when you've been living that way your entire life or for years. There's more ways than you can even fathom and you don't have to stay there. At some point, it becomes a choice that you stayed there and you decided to not listen to yourself because it's hard and you made that decision, which means you can easily make the decision in the other way too." - Brandy Little

"Reflections are backwards." - Tonia McIntosh

"Backward note." - Tonia McIntosh

"I'm looking at this point and how I'm this person, and it's evident that I've changed. The question to ask is, 'How much of this change did I participate in?' If you ask yourself that question, you'll be like, 'Wow, maybe not a lot.'" - Tonia McIntosh

"What kind of person do I want to be? Do I get a choice in that? What are my core beliefs about myself, about life, about people? Is this serving me in the best way? Am I diffusing my energy to the point where it's not going to the places that I really want it to land? Just question, question, question, really evaluate and let possibilities that you wouldn't normally think to be an answer to be an answer." - Brandy Little

"We get stuck on autopilot and we're just going through life and we think we know who we are, but forget to listen to ourselves or hear ourselves. We need to synthesize through our hearts and our minds, because your mind will lock in on something and be like, 'This is how it is.'" - Brandy Little

"It's strange to be comfortable in something that's painful." - Brandy Little

"What is failure and how I define that matters? What I'm comparing it to matters, because I can make sure I fail in everything if I compare it to the perfect." - Brandy Little

"I always try to extract the most I can from any moment." - Brandy Little

"How am I reinforcing the things that aren't serving me?" - Brandy Little

"It's hard to take responsibility." - Tonia McIntosh

"Sadness is an interesting emotion, because we so get programmed into how we move through sadness and how we feel through sadness, but if we're conscious while we were moving through our sadness, we can choose to move through that in a new, beautiful way." - Tonia McIntosh

"We have a quote, unquote, good emotions and negative emotions, like they're all beautiful if you allow them to be." - Tonia McIntosh

"What if nothing's wrong with you? How would you move through life differently if you believed that nothing was wrong with you?" - Tonia McIntosh

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From the episode:
Learn more ways to speak love and, equally important, learns ways to hear it and receive it.

Books Referenced:
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman | https://amzn.to/2IhkeF8

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From the episode:
"Perfectionism is the random rules that someone made up. Who gets to decide what perfect is?" - Tonia McIntosh

"Just start or keep on going, because I think so many times people won't unless it's perfect." - Brandy Little

"You denied its existence, because it wasn't perfect, and if that's how life worked, none of us would be here." - Brandy Little

"There's nuggets of gold in everything." - Tonia McIntosh

"Instead of pigeonholing it into this idea that you've created it to be, you can let it be something else you could never have conceived." - Brandy Little 

"Assign a different meaning to it." - Tonia McIntosh

"That's what perfectionism is - it's judging everything that you don't feel like you should be." - Tonia McIntosh

"It's tradition." - Brandy Little

"I don't know why we do this, but we tend to make things more difficult, like things do not have to be as difficult in life as we make them. A lot of times, we create our own problems. I encourage you to sit down and ask yourself, 'Does it have to be this difficult,' 'Am I getting in my own way,' 'Am I making this harder,'  'Is there a way that I can make this easier,' and 'Do I need to live in this pain?'" - Brandy Little

"How we define perfect is very important, and maybe there is no such thing as perfect or maybe being perfect is being flawed. You hold yourself and other people to these fictional bars that you've set for yourself and others. Let the bar go and let yourself and others be where they are. You don't know the experiences other people have walked or where they came from, how could you think you have the measure to judge them by?" - Brandy Little

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From the episode:
"It really is a gift to yourself to fully let stuff go, to see yourself as the new version that you are, to allow yourself to be that person, to not let your past define you, to not let certain things define you, even the things that you like about yourself, and to really go into things with that newness." - Tonia McIntosh

"For real transformation to happen, you have to let go of who you are." - Tonia McIntosh

"You think things need to be a certain way, and it doesn't." - Brandy Little

"You have to let go in order for a choice to be made, because anytime you make a choice you're saying no to one thing and saying yes to something else. It's always a trade-off." - Brandy Little

"I want to discover the path instead of a carving out the path ahead of time and trying to follow that carved path." - Brandy Little

"The life of an explorer is never knowing what you are going to find." - Brandy Little

"We only value what we do, because we felt like we struggled to do it, but the thing is, you're always going to struggle. You don't need to manufacture it, you don't need to force it, you don't need to hold onto it, you don't need to make it your identity, and you don't have to add onto the struggle." - Brandy Little

"Just look for the next track and then choose which direction you want to go." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Referenced
"The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life" by Boyd Varty | https://amzn.to/2KKcUUh 

Quotes Referenced
“Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.” - Will Rogers 

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From the episode: 
"Each person has a different relationship with 2020." - Brandy Little

"For 2020 for me, it's like a scratch off. Here's your penny, and you need to scratch it to find out what is underneath, and different parts of you will emerge that you didn't even know existed." - Tonia McIntosh

"I always pick a word to have my year themed by, instead of doing a resolution." - Tonia McIntosh

"I don't have to carry all of my entire past with me into the future." - Tonia McIntosh

"The future is a blank slate.  There is room for whatever you want to create, and I think that's the gift of new beginnings." - Tonia McIntosh

"In less stressful times, we have the comfort of doing things that allow us to ignore feelings within us. We don't even realize that we find things that mask those feelings from ourselves or what's really going on." - Brandy Little

"Change yourself, that's the only thing I can focus on and control in my life." - Tonia McIntosh

"For real transformation to occur, you really do have to let go of who you are now and trust that who you're going to be is the person that you're meant to be." - Tonia McIntosh

"In doing the inner work we become pillars, and those pillars become something that people can lean on, or see an example from - that's where we elevate as a society." - Brandy Little

 "I just had this crazy thought and I have to interrupt you with CaterPILLAR!" - Tonia McIntosh 

"I think that's been a struggle with 2020, we just feel like victims to all of the things that are happening around us. People are just reacting to it and they feel powerless, vulnerable, alone and scared, and that is a terrifying place to be, but it's also the place where you become stronger." - Brandy Little

"We all have different capacities to serve." - Brandy Little

"Just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean that what you're doing doesn't matter." - Brandy Little

"Zoom in. Take a break from taking on all of the stress of the world and just notice what's around you, and just take those moments to be grateful for all the things." - Tonia McIntosh

"What we focus on affects us." - Brandy Little

"We're talking a lot about inner work and everything, but also there's times where you can't do it alone. In 2020, what people are struggling with is feeling alone, and no one should feel that way, because we're all in this together. As much as it is important to be a pillar, it's also important to allow other people to be pillars for you. Receiving is equally as important as giving. We forget that because receiving feels selfish, but it's not, because, when you're receiving, you're allowing someone else to be that pillar - you're allowing them to give, and that's a gift in itself." - Tonia McIntosh

"All of the setbacks are really steps forward, even though they don't seem like that." - Tonia McIntosh

"2020 time doesn't have to be a throw away. It's like we're rushing to the end of the pain, but that pain is always here.  You're always going to be dealing with something. I just want to challenge us all to find a way to still grab life for ourselves and make it matter. I just don't want us to think that we have to wait for that to end before we can live again, because you can live and you can find moments to live within pain. These moments are only here once." - Brandy Little

"I'm hoping that 2021 is what everyone is hoping it will be." - Brandy Little

"2020, I will remember it with great fondness, because it's the year that broke me out." - Tonia McIntosh

Therapy Resources
Half of Us | http://www.halfofus.com/
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services | https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
Psychologist Locator | https://locator.apa.org/

Books Referenced
"The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life" by Boyd Varty | https://amzn.to/2KKcUUh 

"Devotions: The Selected Pomes of Mary Oliver" by Mary Oliver | https://amzn.to/3aSMavm

Quotes Referenced
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” - Mary Oliver

Podcasts Referenced
The Aubrey Marcus Podcast

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From the Episode: 
"You can find evidence for whatever you believe. You have to choose what you believe, and I don't think there's any more important cause in the entire universe than to believe in yourself." - Tonia McIntosh

"Your magnet, that sense that lives inside of you, if you don't get to share that with people, other people might not have that spark inside of them go off. It's a chain reaction." - Tonia McIntosh

"Whether you believe in yourself or whether you don't, you're going to find evidence for that." - Tonia McIntosh

"Surround yourself with people that do believe in you, because even if your muscle isn't strong in believing in yourself right away, you have those other people who see something in you and eventually you're going to see it too." - Tonia McIntosh

 "I'm a big advocate for hyping yourself up the same way you hype other people up." - Tonia McIntosh 

"I understand that these thoughts exists, but I'm not going to let those thoughts keep me from doing what I want to do." - Tonia McIntosh

"You can take your weaknesses and shift them into strengths." - Tonia McIntosh 

"A lot of growth and a lot of confrontation with yourself happens in the hardest moments, the darkest moments in your life." - Justin Green

"I want to make sure I love what I'm doing or else I can't do the work." - Justin Green

"You have to eventually listen to your heart, because it doesn't get easier. It's only going to keep getting harder and harder. You'll keep finding a deeper rock bottom until you decide to make the dreams that you want to see." - Justin Green

"What helped shift my mindset on this, especially goals that we set on ourselves, is not to necessarily think of them as goals, but think of them as targets. Because, if they're targets, you're heading towards them while they feel right and keep getting bigger and bigger, and through that process another target might show up and it's bigger than the one that you're heading towards. You can just shift where you're heading and go a different direction. It's great to have goals, but don't be afraid to shift those goals and when you realize they are not necessarily working out for you or a bigger target pops up." - Justin Green

"Trust the timing of your life. The timing is all aligned for a reason and the way that it's meant to be aligned. Everything that you've learned, all the experiences that you've had because of the path you've walked so far, are gonna lend themselves to wherever you're going now." - Tonia McIntosh

"It only makes sense backwards." - Tonia McIntosh

"You can't help, but be an artist when you're an artist." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you're catching yourself consistently putting off trying, because you're afraid to jump, at some point you do have to make the jump. I don't think anyone else can decide when that time is besides you." - Justin Green

"It's hard to let go of things." - Tonia McIntosh

"I do think there's a lot of adventure and really great things that can come out of just making a choice and going with that." - Justin Green

"Advocate for yourself." - Tonia McIntosh

"There's no right or wrong way to do life and it's always shifting and changing, and your journey is always shifting and changing. I guess if I had to like boil it down to one piece of advice, it would be just don't be afraid to follow where your path is taking you because the more that you resist it, the harder you're gonna make it on yourself." - Justin Green 

"Sometimes it is best to fold and try the next hand and see what happens." - Brandy Little

"I think a lot of people think that giving up or not seeing something through is a failure, and it's not, it's a lesson." - Justin Green 

Quotes Referenced
Still looking for the fashion designer quote Tonia mentioned. 

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From the episode:

Books Referenced
"What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter | https://amzn.to/3ongMtk

Quotes Referenced
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - President Theodore Roosevelt

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From the episode: 

Books Referenced

Quotes Referenced

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From the episode:

Books Referenced
"Warrior of the Light" by Paulo Coelho | https://amzn.to/3kd6CIi

Quotes Referenced
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Unknown (often attributed to Gandhi, but shown not to be)
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him…We need not wait to see what others do.” - Mahatma Gandhi (This is what Gandhi did say, which is similar)
“An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.” - Unknown (also often attributed to Gandhi, but shown not to be)

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From the episode:

"We have a composition of emotions that encompasses our entire 100% of what we feel." - Brandy Little

"We judge our composition, like you can't feel happy during a sad time and you can't feel sad during a happy time. I know during one of the darkest time periods of my life when my dad was sick, I also had some of my happiest moment. I was happy a lot of the time even though I've never been more sad in my life. Somehow they both existed at the same time." - Brandy Little

"I can't control other people or how they feel about me. If I did something bad or wrong or hurtful to someone, I feel what I can control is that I attempt to understand what happened, I say I'm sorry for what I did wrong, I ask for forgiveness, and then I forgive myself." - Brandy Little

"You can attach yourself to the negative emotions, or the opposite way, and attach yourself to the positive ones. Either way can be harmful. We have to holistically step back and look at it all." - Tonia McIntosh

"We're not out emotions, that's not who we are. They're just things we experience." - Brandy Little

"I think, for me, it comes down to where I'm people pleasing and where I'm sacrificing myself and my needs." - Tonia McIntosh

"By avoiding conflict, we're trying to control the other person because we're assuming how they're going to react or how they're going to feel, but we really don't know. We're afraid of creating the situation that we're trying to avoid." - Brandy Little

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From the episode:
"What happened to you before is good information to have, but it can be a detriment to the situations we're having now because it forces us into a pattern of what existed before us." - Brandy Little

"We are a series of rough drafts, and if you look at the final copy of most things, they're nothing like what their first draft was. It's just constant revisions." - Brandy Little

"If we aren't consciously thinking about each moment, then we ended up falling into those patterns of the past and almost imprisoning us from being something in the present and into the future." - Brandy Little

"Don't be an autopilot anymore." - Tonia McIntosh

"Presence becomes awareness." - Brandy Little

"When I feel like things aren't working, I try to change the scenery or do something new, and it all feels like it's working, 'I got out of this pattern', but that's not true. That's a trick, a disguise. There's so many things you can do externally that, for awhile, will feel like you are making changes and like you're forging a new path, but the truth is because all of these things are external we haven't really done anything. If your heart doesn't change, then nothing else really matters." - Tonia McIntosh

"You have to change internally, and, if you don't have practice doing that, it's so hard to know how or where to begin, and what to even do. But that I do believe the heart is the way to create a new path." - Tonia McIntosh

"I think fear disguises itself as many things." - Tonia McIntosh

"Pain is an indication something's wrong. It brings attention and awareness, and then you can start working on it." - Brandy Little

"How many of us are masking things and not even admitting that they even exist because of some idea of strength that we've built up in our minds." - Tonia Mcintosh

"I've seen how beautiful vulnerability is and known how connected I feel to someone who's actually showing the pain that they might have, or whatever's going on inside." - Brandy Little

"I found myself apologizing for crying. I lost my dad and I'm like, "Oh, I'm sorry I'm crying." What! Why am I apologizing for this thing? Why are we making it wrong to show this of ourselves?" - Brandy Little

"People judge your pain or judge the amount of time the pain takes to heal, but we're all different. The healing journey is different for all of us." - Tonia Mcintosh

"Strong doesn't have to mean the same thing for everyone, and, for me, being strong means that I cry." - Tonia Mcintosh

"Anger is the catalyst for so many beautiful things and changes in the world." - Tonia Mcintosh

"Anger is a signal that something's not right for you. It's foolish to ignore any of the emotions that are coming up within you, they're all information." - Brandy Little

"You should never know what's going to happen." - Brandy Little

"External things are more the catalyst for the internal things. They're the things that might help set off that internal fuse, but the internal work has to happen." - Brandy Little

"The internal work never ends." - Tonia Mcintosh

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From the episode:
"What if the mind has a role and the heart has a role and they work together with those roles, but a lot of times they confuse their roles." - Brandy Little

"The point is we're always evaluating never concluding." - Brandy Little

"When my heart speaks to me, it is very quiet, and it gets lost in the other noise. It takes a long time to figure out what it's trying to say to me." - Tonia McIntosh

"The heart tells you to do something that you might not want to do, or you don't feel ready to do, but the heart never really cares if you're ready." - Tonia McIntosh

"The heart speaks a different language and I don't understand it yet." - Brandy Little

 "I know the moments in my life where I followed my heart, and it never lead to the wrong way." - Brandy Little

"The problem is, is people say the ways of the heart is irrational, but I suggest it's not irrational it just means they don't understand it yet." - Brandy Little

"The heart knows the best decisions for you." - Brandy Little

"I think the roles cross is when the brain thinks it knows what's right, but usually that is a fear." - Brandy Little

"I think people are visual and with the mind you can visualize an outcome, a goal, or anything like that. So it makes sense to you to move forward with that, and you feel safe going there because you see where you are going, but the heart says, "I'm not going to tell you where we're going, you just need to trust." It tells you to walk through the fire, and that sounds terrible, but the heart says it's necessary." - Tonia McIntosh

"You have so many worlds inside of you." - Tonia McIntosh

"The heart is always trying to advocate for you." - Brandy Little

"Ignoring the heart is part of following my heart. You have to ignore it to know that you've heard it correctly." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you know someone's heart, then you know them." - Tonia McIntosh

"Exist on your edge." - Brandy Little

"Most people know what's in their heart, and for whatever reason different things have come into their life and has has told them they either can't do this or it's not acceptable by society. They'll rationalize why they can't have the thing in their heart. So they start to muffle out the sound of their heart, they don't want to hear it because it hurts, because they know that they're not doing the thing, or they're not being who they are." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Mentioned
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman | https://amzn.to/2IhkeF8

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From the episode:
"I don't think anything that exists is valueless." - Tonia McIntosh

"Anything you see that exists began as a thought, and that's the only way anything can ever exist." - Tonia McIntosh

"That's a thought out loud." - Tonia McIntosh

"If a thought comes through the only way it has power is if you attach yourself to it. That gives it power, it gives it weight, and it becomes integrated into reality. That's how you manifest - first by having though, then by believing it can be real, and then making it real." - Tonia McIntosh

"Affirmations are important to train the mind to think the way I want to think, and the way I want to think is that I can do anything that I put my mind to." - Tonia McIntosh

"Curiosity is organic food for the brain." - Brandy Little

"People will say that's serendipitous or that's just a coincidence, and I don't believe in coincidences, because when you set an intention or a goal and the focus on it the more the world will shift around you and bring into your life the things that you need to make said goal or intention happen. A lot of manifestation has to do with awareness, being aware of what's going on around you and being aware of what your intention is. Once you know, then that's when you know the things that are happening around you can help you get to this place that you want to be and create the thing that you want for you. And then, all of a sudden now, the thing that was not in existence, now exists." - Tonia McIntosh

"People say, 'You can't just create something from nothing,' and that's actually the only way to create, otherwise it's not a creation as it already exists. That's what creation is - it's making something from nothing." - Tonia McIntosh

"Our bodies are the vehicle for creation." - Tonia McIntosh

"We are all manifesting whether we like it or not." - Tonia McIntosh

"We are not dealing in absolutes all the time. When someone says, 'I feel like I'm living the same day over and over again,' then they're not consciously choosing their thoughts and they're not consciously manifesting."  - Tonia McIntosh

"Learning to change your reality." - Tonia McIntosh

"I think a lot of times people get discouraged. Like when you're tying to make a new habit, it gets discouraging because it's so easy to fall into those groves that you've created in your brain, because that's what we're doing, we're making groves. The deeper the groove, the easier it is to fall back into it, but it's not impossible." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Referenced
"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne | https://amzn.to/3ka94iW
"Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert | https://amzn.to/38joFdP

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From the episode:
"We are students of life, and life is the best teacher you can have." - Tonia McIntosh

"The lesson that day may not have been the lesson you want to learn, but it was the lesson you needed to learn." - Brandy Little

"We're not optimist, we're valueist - we find meaning and value in everything." - Tonia McIntosh

"Life is about where you are putting your focus." - Brandy Little

"I'm not ignoring the bad things that happen, but instead of dwelling on them, I'm constantly asking, 'How can I pivot this to something that I have control over fixing, that can be more productive, or can serve me?'" - Brandy Little

"I love the word alchemy, because I have lived in darkness and bad things have happened to me, but they always lead to an opporunity for alchemy, where that experience can turn into whatever I want. And I choose, more often than not, to turn it into something that's beautiful and happy." = Tonia McIntosh

"It's a choice. You can look at a storm and see a storm or see the rainbow that it produces." - Brandy Little

"Walking through a fire is not pleasant. It's painful." - Brandy Little

"Optimism is finding beauty in everything." - Tonia McIntosh

"I find beauty in pessimism, it can be part of the process of optimism." - Tonia McIntosh

"You need to sometimes focus on the bad parts. You can't discount them, because you need them to change and grow. They show us that there's a problem, it's pain and pain shows us is there is a problem. There's something that we need to fix and change." - Brandy Little

"We have to have hope even when things are hopeless. Hope is what gets you through things. Even when everything feels hopeless, the only way out of that is to have hope. You have to find the things that are going to get you out of the muck and the mire. If you have hope you have somewhere to go. If you don't have hope, there is nowhere to go." - Brandy Little

"You have to have faith and trust in the process. If you're assuming about a situation, then you're not listening and you're not leaving room for learning and actually seeing the situation as it is." - Tonia McIntosh

"All possibilities always exist at all times." - Tonia McIntosh

"I'm always looking to prove my assumption's wrong, because if I know nothing can break it down, then I know that it's probably something I can rely on. I need to know that it can't be punched. So I'm constantly punching it myself or looking for other things that will reshape it." - Brandy Little

"Side note, we are not scientists." - Tonia McIntosh

"We're not dealing in absolutes and I think that's what an optimist is leaving room for - leaving room for the best outcome to exist." - Tonia McIntosh

"I always believe that the best of someone or the best of something could happen, because it exists. If the worst exists, then the best also has to exist." - Tonia McIntosh

"I thoroughly believe that we are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you go into something already expecting a negative outcome of failure, then for multiple reasons you can't even be cognizant of you are going to bring them about." - Brandy Little

"Some of the worst times in my life, I have found they are some of the best times in the sense that I was able to grow and become the person that I am now and the parts of myself that I like." - Brandy Little

"You are a creation of yourself." - Tonia McIntosh

"I do think that we can choose who we want to be in different situations, and the more and more we make choices the easier those choices become. When we begin to rewire ourselves in this way, we then begin to create who we are." - Tonia Mcintosh

"If you're always blaming your external world, then you have no power to make any decisions or changes for yourself. I will always go internal, because I can't control the external. What I can control is my choices and my responses. So I'm constantly like, given those constraints, how do I overcome this? How do I maximize myself and be all I can possibly be given my constraints?" - Brandy Little

"Make choices out of love instead of fear." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Referenced
"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz | https://amzn.to/37AS2YG
"Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein | https://amzn.to/2HTLERO

Quotes Referenced
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” - Fred Rogers

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From the episode:
"I've been working on loving all of me, and not just the parts that are easy to love, and that's so difficult. I carry these judgments with me as
if they are my reality, and that's not necessarily true because I'm a different person now. So if I can't love those parts of myself that are hard to love, then I can't expect anyone else to first, and then also, how am I going to love the parts of other people that are hard to love? And that's so important, because if you have anyone ever show you compassion in your life, and love that part of you that is hard to love, it's transformative." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you're always comfortable relying on your heart or your mind or your body, try leading with a different one, and see how that changes how you decide to make decisions or what the result is of that situation." - Brandy Little

"There's one thing exploring yourself and knowing yourself, but that also means knowing the bad parts as well, and that can be scary because we don't like to know the bad things. Those parts are what helps make the light brighter in us. If you don't focus on them, then the darker parts get darker. The darker coats. Find your dark parts, understand them, accept them, forgive yourself for them, learn from them, and try to be better." - Brandy Little

"If you zoom away from this moment and look at the whole picture, you can see that you have come a long way and have grown, and that you still have work to do." - Tonia McIntosh

"If you're not present in your body, then you go on autopilot, and the thoughts you have just become a normal thing and you don't even notice what you are saying to yourself, and that has an affect on you, on how you go out in the world, on how you see yourself, and on how you approach everything. It will affect everything." - Tonia McIntosh

"As much as we don't pay attention to our pain, we equally don't pay attention to the things that bring us joy. Things that bring us joy are those are clues to what maybe we should be doing for a career, what our skills are, or what our talents are. The more we can keep going down that road, then we discover more about ourselves. I think that a lot of times the things that bring us joy, we are so afraid of, because we think we can't have that. Our society makes us feel like if we're going to pursue anything, that we need to be the greatest, or it needs to bring us money. I don't think that's necessarily true. I don't know how many times I've told someone I've done something and the first thing they ask is how much did I get paid to do it as if that's the only thing that matters. There is so many weird expectations on that." - Tonia McIntosh

"I think one of the greatest gifts you can give to the people around you is compassion, empathy, and understanding of the things they may think of as darkness. Feeling that acceptance and love means everything. Knowing you can do something that you felt really bad about and come through as a better person for it, and still have people love you and leave space for you, it's a gift." - Brandy Little

"We don't live our lives at the end points and beginning points. Those are little points along the timeline - little dots, little blips. The longer parts, between the points, are the journey, the process. If we stop trying everyone like they should be at their end point or expecting them to be, and realize they are still in the process, that helps create compassion and space." - Brandy Little

"Self-talk points us to our values and what's important to us." - Tonia McIntosh

Books Referenced
"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz | https://amzn.to/37AS2YG
"What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter | https://amzn.to/3ongMtk

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From the episode:
"You have to trust that your heart knows what it wants to do and who it wants to be." - Tonia McIntosh

"You just have to trust your heart knows where to bring you, and, if you are listening to your heart, it is exactly where you need to go." - Brandy Little

"I have met people who just believe the same thing their whole life and they won't change, and that's the only version of themselves that they're ever going to meet." - Tonia McIntosh

"I know my life is nothing like I thought it would be. I had complete ideas of where I would be right now and they couldn't be further opposite of everything I thought I knew and from what I thought I would be." - Brandy Little

"The moment you begin defining yourself is the moment you begin limiting yourself." - Brandy Little

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