Nerd Poker

It was bound to happen if an evil, gigantic creature was walking around. Someone's character would inevitably realize whilst running between their legs that the canopy above was ripe for called shots. And then, of course, there would be disgusting riffs. Classic Nerd Poker, enjoy! 

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With the megalich bamfing in and out of existence, Ronnie's Raiders realize they should perhaps focus on killing the pig lord of death, Orcus. Meanwhile the NPCs keep getting slapped around to the point of being a real moral investment. Will our heroes survive all this time management?!

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

You know what really helps when you're fighting some really evil jerks? When one of them dips out of existence. Hopefully he won't reappear inside someone's body and make them explode like Blaine did on that one bonus episode!

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Orcus now fully engages the crew along with Vallux, and NPCs start to get roughed up pretty bad. Need cheering up? Say the title of this episode out loud and it sounds like "orcas attack." Which, at the time of this episode's release, is a current news item! Sorry, yachts!

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Naturally it's a rough fight for Ronnie's Raiders, who are attacking Vallux relentlessly but unsure how to deal with the elder demon slowly stomping towards them from the next room. Maybe he just wants to ask a question and then he'll go back to bed. Maybe Terry will show up and save the world?

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Time for everyone to fight the evil lich king we have heard about for 4 years! This is fine. Everything's fine.

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A big old evil tunnel leading up to a big old evil door. The time has come for vanquishing evil many campaigns in the making. Will they set it all on fire? 

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

No big deal, guys. Our crew just has to deal with a harmless little cave river. Probably not cursed or anything, just happens to be flowing past the lair of a millenia-old lich king. Nothing to worry about here. Everything's fine. This is fine.

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Now that the herd has been thinned out a bit (RIP beloved NPC) it's time for everyone to make a choice- do they try to crack the elaborate puzzle laid out before them in the enchanted door, or do they smash through it because puzzles are for jerks? To our credit, we do CONSIDER the first option.

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Ronnie's Raiders are at the precipice of something huge, you know, just an uncomfortable ultimate evil presence. Now that they're in the king's basement kicking open his coffins, it's only a matter of time before they open a door and get to say hello.

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With the sad old headless king roasted, exploded, and generally annihilated, it's now time to loot and investigate his death chamber! Or, you know, we could just set it all on fire. Sorry, no Chris Tallman, he is shooting television but he will be back next episode! 

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Why not just start opening sarcophogi? What's the worst that can happ- oh right it could be cursed and absorb weapons and try to murder everybody. Enjoy the deliciously dark combat, the debate over whether Winifred has all her fingers, and what kind of toilet rat t-shirt we should start making!

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

It's time for Ronnie's Raiders to do what they do best: upset the final resting grounds of some ancient evil! Also, to those who have asked, the group is still settling on the final spelling and also goes by Ronnie's Raiderz. 

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The crew just left an elevator filled with acid, so things are probably going to get super cheery and tidy now! And, finally, the fearless leader of the group names the crew. Just in time! There's some coffins to root around in a musty inter-dimensional tomb. 

The torture room cleared (except for the huge gruesome mess) our heroes arrive inside some sort of evil elevator. That's right- an evilator! Do they use that word within the episode? No. But all like to have fun around here. 

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The big beefy demon dude with a plate of iron nailed to his face has tumbled into a corner of a stairwell and it's getting pretty dicey to just stand around in that stairwell. What lies on the other side of the door at the bottom is what comes next, and yeah, it's probably gonna be a mean trap that everyone saw coming but almost kills them anyway.

The big disgusting bad guy is no match for a bunch of heroes who like to pin big bad disgusting bad guys into a corner! Also there's 4-5 NPCs around now, which feels pretty cozy! May the only blood spilt be that of evil, and what everyone decides to dump on the floor because they saw it on a torture table and it freaked them out.

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The group enters a room where the NPCs go bonkers, more NPCs are discovered, and they all go bonkers too. Time to light it all up! 

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

We left our last episode on a cliffhanger- will Queep and Friar Jolly survive the low roll in the swirling green magic tunnel?! Well, Dan kind of cut Ken off so, Ken might actually have a plan. Also first we have to get to a particularly ribald round of listener thanks with a special visit from Billy. We missed you Chris!

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

No big deal, just an extremely haunted library to get through, and then our intrepid heroes can descend into the horrors beneath the royal keep. Though all the NPCs are still alive, shocking as that may be, between the four of them only one of them isn't one foot in the grave. Pretty much everyone has been maimed at one point or another. And things are only just starting to get risky.