Nobilis Erotica

This extra episode is provided courtesy of the Hallowed Covenant crowdfunding campaign on Indiegogo. 

Find them at:

https://www.indiegogo.com/at/hallowedcovenant

Greetings, listeners!

Today, I am announcing a reorganization of the Nobilis Erotica podcast and patreon campaign. In doing this, I’m asking you to step up, and help me do something I’ve needed to do for quite some time.  The support tiers have been the same for seven years, and a lot has changed over that time, including in the world of erotic audio. 

Quite frankly, the rate that I pay voice talent is just too low. I can get narrators, as you’ve heard, but the rate I’m paying them is a fraction of what they deserve. The going rate for story narration of an hour or less is at the bare minimum two hundred dollars, but with the current podcast budget, I can only afford fifty.

The first change will be that Nobilis Erotica will be accepting advertising.  I have had a few sponsored shows in the past, but now each episode will be available for advertisers. Patrons will have access to an ad-free version in the Patreon feed. The sponsors will be vetted by me personally—nothing programmatically added without my supervision—so hopefully the ads will be interesting and relevant. 

In addition, starting in September, the monthly bonus audio will be for patrons at the three dollar tier and higher. The one dollar tier will give access to the Discord, but will have no other benefits. Polls will be run at the five dollar tier.

If my one dollar patrons step up and crank their pledges to three dollars per month, I’ll have enough money to pay one hundred dollars to voice talent.  Adding advertising will hopefully make up the difference. With that, and perhaps some of the free listeners coming on board to get the ad-free version, we can make this work. 

And if you’re already at three or five dollars, and you can afford to increase your patronage, that would help too. 

Together, we can make the Nobilis Erotica podcast respectable. Heh. Who am I kidding?  We can make it more respectable.

Thank you all for your support. Without you, none of what I’ve been able to do here would have been possible.

This month's patron-funded story is A Star in the Rough by Lex B Griffin.  It's narrated by Nobilis Reed.

Support the Nobilis Erotica Podcast

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Excerpt: 

The JK-10P was a machine quite unlike anything else on the market. Originally a bit of an experimental flop due to the number of oddities in its design, it was meant as 'an exciting, one of a kind solo-driving experience' and configured to mimic a number of now extinct earth animals, none of which had ever been suitable for humans to ride in the first place. 

It was a commodity, but… one that apparently no one wanted… 

That was just because the things were mind-bogglingly difficult to maneuver. 

It took months, even years of training and practice to adapt to the rocking, leaping, and lunging motions the JK-10Ps – or Jackalopes as they came to be known – used to get around. They were excellent for rocky terrain, and an expert rider could make them look elegant in the air. 

It's no wonder they became a sport within just a decade of their invention, and just barely fifteen years after the official league association formed, they were invited to the olympics in New Sanfran. Coincidentally, a city of even steeper hills than its namesake. 

Anton walked the course the day before the race, eyes wide and mouth agape. It wasn't even traversable on foot. Large rocky outcroppings, uneven straightaways. The Jackalope would eat up the terrain for sure, but if the gravel shifted unexpectedly… Anton would have to pay careful attention to make sure he didn't wipe out at the worst possible moment.

It was perfect.

Just outside the city, where there weren't even roads to smooth the way, peaks and valleys – those pockets of straight aways would let you coax your metal beast into a loping sprint, hands gripped to the 'antler-bars' while your body rode the writhing waves of your steed. 

Anton's excitement just to be here was only beaten by his nerves. He was new to the senior league, and this would be only his third appearance on the interstellar circuit. His anxiety was understandable, dammit.

"You'll do great out there tomorrow," Yulia, his girlfriend said, back in their room, calm and patient. She was always the more level-headed of the two of them. Anton loved her utterly for her support, he did, but this time… the olympics were a big deal. He was so early in his career. He could-

"Hush, now," Yulia said again, petting a hand over Anton's shoulder. "Listen to me."

Anton did, blinking and turning to face Yulia, rapt with attention.

"Tomorrow, you're going to go out there, and you're going to ride that monster you call Stella-"

Anton chuckled, he loved his girl, even if her paint job was a little retro.

"And you're going to make every jump, and you're going to wow everyone with your skill and your attention to detail and your focus. And you're going to be proud of that run. That's your only goal. It's your first appearance, you don't need to medal right out the gate. There'll be other chances." Yulia pressed a kiss to Anton's brow.

"And what if I do medal?" Anton teased, knowing Yulia was probably right.

"Hmm…" Yulia pet a speculative hand down Anton's arm and across his belly. "How about this… I'm going to stroke you now, until you're just shy of coming-"

Anton hissed, oh fuck… he knew where this was going…

"And tomorrow, if you're a Good Boy, and do as you're told, then you'll get to come."

This month's patron-funded story is "Ghost of Leather Past" by Kat Griffiths, narrated by Jem of the Love at First Sighting podcast.

Pick up Monster Whisperer, Second Class

This month's patron-funded story is "The Hands of a Princess" by Emily L. Byrne.  It's narrated by Christiana Ellis.

Pick up Monster Whisperer, Second Class

Here is the second part of "Where I End and We Begin" by Bernie Mojzes, narrated by myself and Vivienne Ferrari.

Support us on Patreon

Pick up Monster Whisperer, Second Class

This month we have part one of the tentacle sex breeding story, "Where I End and We Begin" by Bernie Mojzes, narrated by Nobilis Reed and Vivienne Ferrari.

Background audio comes from Tabletop Audio and The Freesound Project.

Support the podcast at the Patreon Campaign.

Pick up "Monster Whisperer: Second Class" at Riverdale Avenue Books or wherever you get ebooks. 

This is the second and final part of "To Market" by Elizabeth Schechter, narrated by Nobilis Reed.

Support the podcast on Patreon

Get your copy of Monster Whisperer Second Class

This episode brings us part one of "To Market" by Elizabeth Schechter, narrated by Nobilis Reed.  The second part of the story will be posted in early January.

Remember to pick up your copy of Monster Whisperer: Second Class 

A con panel without the con, on the topic of erotic tentacles with Franklin Veaux and Eunice Hung, co-authors of the Passionate Pantheon novel series, and myself, author of the Monster Whisperer series..

This month's patron-funded story is "Moonlit Tidal Wave" by Nyla Lustre, narrated by Jo Bennett. 

My consentacle novel, "Monster Whisperer: Second Class" has been released in print and ebook by Riverdale Avenue Books!  Buy at that link, or search for "Monster Whisperer Second Class" on your favorite ebook retailer.

This month's patron-funded story is "Infernal Machine" by Elizabeth Schechter.  This is a gay steampunk inadvertent bondage story. 

Narrated by Nobilis Reed

The September patron-funded story is "The Antidote" by Lisabet Sarai, narrated by Louise Cooksey.

“Yeah, I can get it—well, I can tell you where to get it. But it’s expensive.”

Merle and I huddled together on the bench in the 52nd story roof garden of the New Sears Building where we worked. Even here, talking was risky. There were certainly cameras, but mikes were less likely out in the open. 

“I’ve been saving. How much do you think it will cost?”

Merle named a figure four times what I had squirreled away. 

“Gads, Merle! It’s not gold!”

“No, it’s more valuable than gold. What do you expect? People will pay almost anything for the forbidden.”

I blinked and looked away, not wanting her to see my incipient tears. After a few deep breaths, I thought I could continue the conversation without embarrassing myself. My friend wasn’t fooled.

“You really want this, don’t you, Lena?”

“More than anything.” It was true. I’d been experimenting on my own trying to reverse the effects of the government’s anti-sex interventions, with no success at all. 

No one knew exactly how the drugs were delivered. I went two days eating nothing, drinking only rainwater gathered on our unit’s balcony. The fact that Jeff traveled so much for his job had made it easier. I just waited until he was away on one of his trips. Then, physically weak but determined, I hacked through the net filters to one of the most notorious underground porn sites, hosted, according to Merle, in Kazakhstan. 

Nothing. I felt nothing. I watched the contortions of the naked bodies, the penetrations and the climaxes, and felt no desire, only a vague, painful sense of loss.

This month's patron-funded story is "Diplomacy" by Emily L Byrne, narrated by Violet Jade. 

Captain Bridget O’Halloran smoothed her dress uniform and polished her medals with one sleeve before she pressed the glowing button that would allow her to enter Admiral Chen’s office. She managed not to run a hand through her short red hair before she pressed the button, but only just. The doors slid open and she inhaled deeply before stepping through them in a futile effort to relax. 

The admiral’s office was just as she remembered it: grey and spartan with only the comp unit’s glow casting any direct light. “Done,” the admiral barked at it and the glow faded to a muted blue. “Lights!” The office flickered into a startling brightness. “O’Halloran!” The admiral’s dark eyes took in her brisk salute and her medals with a “Humph! All right, Captain. At ease.”

She relaxed her spine slightly and stood awaiting his orders, a wary look on her face. What did the old coot want this time? Last time she’d been in here, 3 cycles ago, it was because she’d volunteered to infiltrate the Lyrizi navy as an agent. She’d succeeded but the cost had been high. The burn scar that ran the length of her ribs throbbed a little at the memory.

Chen gave her a fierce glare. “All right, Captain. We’ve only got a few minutes. There’s trouble again in the Arment system about the selerinite clauses in the treaty.” He paused as if he wanted to see if she was still paying attention.

Bridget stood up a little straighter, copper brows drawn together in a sharp frown. “Without the selerinite our ships will be grounded within two Earth months. This is what we went to war with the Lyrizi to prevent. So you’re sending us to Arment to deal with it?”

“Not you. Let me make myself clear, O’Halloran. The Confederation Council has appointed a new ambassador and a diplomatic team to resolve the matter. I can’t say I approve of their choice but then, they didn’t ask me. Just drop them off and give them any support they need. Don’t let your personal feelings get in the way. That clear?” 

The door slid open behind Bridget with a nearly silent hiss. She forced herself not to look directly at the intruder until ze stopped beside her. Not like she could see anything past the other’s hood anyway. She shifted her weight, wondering what kind of ambassador came with a warning label from her commander.

Chen got a lot more formal. “Captain O’Halloran, you have your orders. This is Hight Isandre, the Confederation’s new ambassador to Arment. Once you arrive at Arment, you will provide all necessary support for her and the rest of her team before returning to base. No nonregulation maneuvers this time.” 

Bridget let the tiniest of smiles curl her lips and saluted with vigor. Hight, huh? And a female, too. That was a surprise. From the gossipvids, she always figured that Highborn women of any galactic species spent all their time getting gene modifications and sampling every mind-altering substance in the galaxy. Admiral Chen scowled at her, breaking into her thoughts. “Yes sir!” He nodded his dismissal and she turned smartly and left, the ambassador at her heels.

Once the door shut behind them, she turned to get her first good look at her passenger and almost yelled in surprise. Greenie her mind screamed and she nearly reached for her blaster, hands shaking just a little. The Lyrizi female looked back at her from gorgeous amber eyes that nearly glowed under pale green eyebrows against a background of dark green skin. One of those eyebrows quirked upward as the captain tried to recover her composure.

This episode is an excerpt from the audiobook "Mind Games" by Cecilia Tan, narrated by Freya Copeland, available exclusively on Scribd.

This month's Patron-funded story is "Solitaire" by M. Christian, narrated by Nobilis Reed.

We've made a bunch of progress toward the goal of funding a two-part full-cast recording of a brand new story by Bernie Mojzes, but we still need your help!  Join up at the Nobilis Erotica Patreon campaign.

Here is a taste of what you will be able to find in the Nobilis Erotica patreon campaign. This is chapter 1 of my erotic transformation serial, "My Wild Card."

June's Patron-funded story is"Like a Bat Out of Hell", a kinky straight short by A T Lander.  It's narrated by Vivienne Ferrari.

This month, I'm also announcing an ambitious new project; this fall I will be producing a new two-part story by Bernie Mojzes, the brilliant author of "Ink" which we presented back in episode 263.  It's going to take a lot to produce it, however, as it includes a huge orgy with two tentacle monsters and a bunch of humans, so it really needs a full cast recording. If we can get the Patreon campaign up to $300 by the end of July, this can happen. 

Hell was horrible.

Of course it was supposed to be horrible for the damned souls trapped there. All the screaming and torture and everything else went with the territory, and every demon in the place seemed to love it. Every demon but Aerys.

She hated the stink of sulfur, the baking heat of the lava pits, the sounds coming from the torture chambers. She wasn’t squeamish, per se, but she felt none of the sadistic joy her fellows clearly did at human suffering. She just wanted a cup of tea, a pretty dress, maybe some flowers or a bath with lavender soap. She’d seen such things in the mortal realm on her brief visits, but could never have them in Hell, never even speak of them. If Aerys’s inner softness, her dislike for killing and desire for comfort was discovered, she would go from respected Greater Demon to some Prince’s weakling torture-toy.

So Aerys pretended. She wore armor of leather and spikes, cackled as evilly as she could manage and hoped every moment to get summoned to the mortal realm. She was usually just giving people money, power or one less enemy to worry about, but it was still a break from the stink and the screams and the stress of faking her own enjoyment.

The latest summoning was powerful and precise, tugging Aerys from a flame-wreathed promenade and into a cool, candle-lit room. She breathed a soft sigh, smelling incense, dried herbs, ink and musty parchment; the scents of a wizard’s workshop. Hopefully her summoner would want her for complex magical advice or killing someone on another continent, anything that would let her bask in this realm for a decent amount of time.

Speaking of her summoner, he looked surprisingly young and handsome for one so skilled. He had long blonde hair in a messy ponytail, intense blue eyes and high, regal cheekbones. Long, clever fingers held his arcane tome, and his frame was tall and slim. The wind of her appearance ruffled his floor-length robes and made the candles flicker, but he didn’t even blink.

She’d always had a thing for human men, but this one was so gorgeous it was unfair.

This month's Patron-funded story is "It Came from Beneath" by Louis Evans, narrated by Meredith Matthews.

When the clitoris rose more than two stories high from the San Francisco Bay, someone called the National Guard. The fighter jets screamed out of the southeast, and sonic booms rippled across the city skyline. The clitoris rippled too. Possibly with pleasure?

Colonel Buck Harder, who was watching the clitoris through binoculars from an emergency command post atop the TransAmerica pyramid--San Francisco’s tallest building, and also, fortuitously, its most phallic--had no idea what the spasms meant.

“God damn it, men,” he screamed at his all-male staff, “what is that thing?”

It was obviously a clitoris. I mean, obviously. It was, at this point, nearly fifteen stories tall, largely erect, and completely well defined. Aside from its size, it could have come right out of an anatomy textbook, or a pornographic photoshoot with those uncomfortably invasive camera angles. Any human being with eyes who was familiar with the appearance of a clitoris would have gotten it instantly. They would have said, “oh, yes, that’s a giant clitoris.”

“For the love of god, what is it?” the colonel cried. 

The men muttered, sounding collectively like a failing outboard motor. The California National Guard was stumped.

This month's patron-funded story is a multisexual tale of two super-intelligent quantum systems by M. Christian.

It's pretty hot.

It’s not easy to say when, exactly, Hirronata Autonomous Suborbital Manufacturing Platform #8, located at the furthest-most point on the Main Equatorial Celestron Tether, fell in love with Tlachtga, the level 9 (on the Klein Autonomous Intelligence Index) system managing the Nous Colony of Wingspread in the region that had, some 50 years previously, been commonly known as Anchorage, Alaska, fell in love.

The flirting between the two had started innocently enough: a shifting digit or two in a Product Shipping Assembly Order, a certain amount of what could almost be called sashaying in a parachute-delivered cargo drop, that, in time, led to what could have been called clearer signals: at least, that is, to a pair of ultra-high-level quantum computational systems.

Hirronata Autonomous Suborbital Manufacturing Platform #8, for instance, slipped into its burst-transmitted catalog update which was dismissed by the few humans who still bothered to pay attention to such things, a repeated item listing of a Waveform Integrated Network Kernal (“Wink Wink”).

Tlachtga, in response, “accidentally”--which is what any resident of the Colony would have chalked it up if they’d even noticed it occurring--caused a one second, 2-degree, temperature increase in one of the largest of the geometrically roofed environs it oversaw: a pinkish-hued, and very evident, blush clearly visible to anything in orbit, in particular anything that might happen to be at the end of the Main Equitorial Celestron Tether.