Parenting Successful Teens

I thought I was listening to good parenting advice this morning until I heard this one little phrase.  It was like a dog whistle for triggering mom shame.

Sounds innocuous on the surface, but loud and clear for its intended target.

If you've heard something that made you feel like crawling into a hole, tune in this week to feel way, way better.

Ready to really heal mom shame?  Click here to schedule a free call to see what having private support could do for you and your family.

How do you define success for your family? 

If you haven't explicitly thought about it, you are most likely following a definition of success set by elite colleges - good grades, lots of extracurriculars, maximum post-college earnings, etc. 

Unfortunately, that definition sets most kids up for struggle rather than success. (Even the kids elite colleges accept because they end up defining themselves by those external measures.)

So this week, I'll share my unconventional approach to defining success so that you can create your own values-aligned definition and truly set your kids up for success.

Got questions?  email me at allie@allieirwin.com

Ready to get started putting this podcast into action with your family?  Click this link to see what a month of support could do for you.

Sometimes even "good" advice can trigger us.  We read a book all our friends loved or an inspirational post, and instead of getting great ideas, we feel worse about ourselves as moms.

In this week's episode, I'll deconstruct some "good" advice that triggered me so that you can learn the tools of spotting and rejecting advice that doesn't work for you. 

Plus I offer some fun historical examples from top parenting experts that turned out to be terrible advice.  

What are you waiting for?  If you've got stuff going on in your family, I want to help.  Click here to schedule a free call to talk about what's going on and what you want to be happening instead. 

I'll give you a big picture perspective of what's happening and then we'll talk about ways to shift that.  Moms just like you love these calls even if we don't end up working together!

How do you get your kids to tell you what's going on in their lives?  

You love them + you're curious + you want to help.    But if they don't tell you anything, how can you help?

Because there is no amount of good parenting that lets your kid's skip "the hard parts", the best way to handle them is to know about them.  And this week we'll break down how to create an atmosphere where kids feel comfortable telling you their "stuff".  

Love these podcasts but struggle putting them into practice with your family?  

That means you are ready to think about the next step.  Working with me is the best investment you can make towards strengthening your family + not losing your mind during these crazy years. ❤️

Click here to set up a call to learn more about what that could look like for you. 

Our human bodies hate change.  They work hard to keep us at a stable temperature, blood pressure, etc. Otherwise, we'd pass out whenever we stood up or went outside on a hot summer day.

Similarly, we resist changes in our family relationships.  Adjusting as our kids grow older and more independent is hard work.  And that work isn't made easier by the familiar adage "everyone goes through it."

In this week's episode, we'll look at what DOES make changing relationships easier to navigate.

If you could use some help navigating the changes happening in your household, we should talk.  Click here to set up a time to talk about what's going on and explore what having support could look like.  

Moms just like you love this time to have a judgment-free set of eyes looking at their situation and offering a fresh prespective.

Parents of difficult children are the luckiest parents.  Difficult kids give us get so many great opportunities to practice mental flexibility, unconditional love, live their values and become judgement proof.  I feel sorry for parents with "easy" kids because they miss out on so much.  

You get a front row seat to a creative mind, even if their creativity is not used for the purposes you prefer!

Check out this week's episode, it's a love letter to help parents see why difficult kids are so fantastic. 

If you'd like to talk about what having personal support could do for your family, click this link to set up a free, no obligation call. 

You'll tell me what's going on.  What you wish was happening instead.  And then we'll map out a plan to get you there.  Even if we choose not to work together, you'll still think this was time well spent.

Being a mom is an endless string of decisions.  Both the number of decisions we have to make (5 before breakfast 😂) and the high-stakes nature of decisions at this age can create a lot of pressure to "get it right".  

So how do you know which decision is the right one?

In this week's episode, I will share the 3 foundational pieces to making decisions you can feel good about.  I call it the Unicorn Decision Making Process.

If you'd like a pdf summary you can get one by using this link.  (Don't be thrown...it used to be called something boring like "stop second guessing yourself".)

If you'd like to talk about how to get support building this foundation for you and your family, use this link to schedule a free, no obligation call.  Moms like you love them!

So many Moms are worried about how much time their kids spend on screens.  But what they don't understand is all the roles that screens play in a kid's life.  Connection, comfort and much needed time to just zone out or numb out.

This week we are going to talk about the differences between comfort and zoning out as a way to help our kids spend less time on their screens.  

And like all of the epsidoes we are going to help our kids by helping ourselves first.  Because truth be told, you can't tell a teen anything that you aren't role modeling yourself.

Want help applying this week's episode to YOUR family?  Click here to schedule a free discovery call where we'll talk about what having support could do for you.

Do you want to raise your kids differently than the way you were raised?

In this week's episode, we'll talk about how to keep the good parts and not let avoiding the bad parts become a trap.

Our unconscious mind acts a lot like a crockpot.  Other people's ideas about how we should be get put in there when we are little, and those ideas simmer for decades. Much like ingredients in a crockpot. 

In this week's episode learn how situations that trigger us today are based on thoughts that have been simmering in our unconscious minds for decades. 

Identifying these links with help you be less triggered by stuff your kids say and do AND take the pressure off your current day self to "get it right". 

Some days everything goes your way and other days feel like you are slogging through mud with 14 monkeys on your back.

In this episode, I'll show you how to create more of those easy days.  And in the process create more of what. you want for your family.

If you'd like to learn more about how to put these ideas into action by working together, schedule a free, no-obligation call by clicking this link:  Putting the podcast into Action ❤️

Resentment is what you feel when you don't address your anger.  It's a big ol' pile of all the things you told yourself to just let go or pretended you weren't made about when you were.   

In this week's episode, I'll share how to not resent your own kids. Or more specifically the sacrifices you made and emotional slights you endured without so much as a thank you.

If you'd like to talk about how to put this podcast into action in your own family, click here to find a spot on my calendar.

The call is free and you'll walk away with a clear plan of what to do next and how having support will make being a parent easier and more fun!

Sometimes during a fight with our kids, they will yell "I'm not you, Mom" or "Stop treating me like a baby".  Turns out that we are seeing them through a frame of reference that I call "Mom Goggles".  What will help the situation is to take those goggles off and see our kids through new eyes.

This week you'll learn how Mom Goggles prevent you from seeing your kid's situations from their perspective, even when you're trying to understand them!

If you'd like to learn more about puting these ideas into action by working together, schedule a free, no obligation call by clicking this link.  Putting the podcast into Action ❤️

It's your last summer togther before you become an empty nester and you're worried about what that's going to be like. 

(Or maybe feeling guilty that you are counting down the days because of what it's been like!)

In this week's episode we'll talk about why the term empty nest makes things harder than they need to be.

If you are worried about what it will be like to have an "empty nest" or feeling guilty that you can't wait to have the house to yourself, we should talk.  For help putting this podcast into action you can schedule a free call by clicking this link.

The idea behind so much of "conscious parenting" and "gentle parenting" is that our kids are fragile and if we say or do the wrong thing we'll screw them up forever. 

Bah.  It's exactly the opposite.  Putting pressure on ourselves to never make a mistake is what makes our kids fragile.  

Making mistakes and then repairing them makes our kids strong.  That process teaches our kids to feel safe and secure.  It teaches them boundaries and self esteem.

Mistakes followed by repair are good for everyone. 

If you'd like to learn more about how to put these ideas into action by working together, schedule a free, no obligation call by clicking this link.  Putting the podcast into Action ❤️

Most people would agree that parenting is hard.  Really hard.

So in this week's episode, we are going to make parenting a little easier by introducing the concept of clean pain vs. dirty pain.  By learning to spot the differences you'll be able to reduce the amount of pain you feel AND the amount of pain your child feels.

To apply these concepts to YOUR family, don't hesitate to schedule a free call with me.  Our time together creates a safe, nonjudgemental space for you to get questions answered and put these ideas into practice.  Click here to schedule.

When you are a Mom it is hard not to (at least occasionally) freak out!  You are just going about your day and BAM...in comes a text and a fresh worry.

Well don't worry, I've got you. 

In this episode, I offer 7 ways to feel calmer. 
3 ways to soothe your racing, ruminating mind
+ 3 ways to help your body relax
+ 1 way to change your environment so you are less triggered.

Schedule a free call if you'd like help applying this to your specific family situation.  It is a safe, nonjudgment environment to share what's on your mind and get some help & clarity.  Click here to schedule.

Too often being a mom = being society's punching bag.

Cruddy stuff always runs downhill and Moms are stuck at the bottom of that hill trying hard to make things work anyway.  That deserves admiration not blame.

So in this week's episode, we discuss having a zero-tolerance policy for smack talking other Moms so that we can create a culture that supports us.

Together we can make being a Mom mean being part of a super cool sisterhood rather than society's scapegoat.

Participation trophies are seen as consolation prizes that make people weak. (actually that's the kindest version 👈).

But just showing up over and over, even when it's hard or not your favorite thing, is a major part of being a good parent.

So instead of downplaying the impact of a single dinner...a single carpool...a single time you listened when you were tired...give yourself a trophy for hanging in there.

Participating in all those things adds over time to create a rich family life.  

Do you want your kids to live up to their potential?  You are definitely not alone.  I hear this all the time from my clients and I get it.  I used to want that too until I discovered that it was actually holding my kids back.  

Tune in this week to discover why believing in your kid's potential sets your family up to struggle and learn ways to empower your kids to find their own motivation instead.