Queer Queeries

On the Season 2 finale of Queer Queeries, we reflect on what this past season has taught us in terms of creating a foundation for future generations to build on, being an ally v.s being an accomplice, and protecting our joy so that we can continue to fight for true equality.

Follow:
Qween Jean
Sis
Ianne Fields Stewart

Resources for Further Learning:
What's the Difference Between an Ally and Accomplice?

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What are specific mental health challenges queer people deal with?" "How can we cope?" "How is the field of social work broken?" "How can we, as a community, take care of each other?"

On this final interview of Season 2, I interview healing justice practitioner, licensed clinical social workers and founder and executive director of the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network, Erica Woodland (he/him). Erica and I get into discuss journey of taking care of our mental health and that specific journey for queer people and the challenges we face. Erica shares how he knew form a very young age he wanted to of service to his communities in some capacity. he felt responsible because of the support he got and because he wanted to help correct a system that isn't set up for black folks to succeed. It was through his journey of unlearning outside of his formal schooling, which was taught through a white, cis, heterosexual, ableist lens and recognizing the need to center healing in the journey to repair the relationship between the medical field and Black and Indigenous folks, that led him to see the need for a resource that connected queer and trans folks of color to practitioners in their community. This resource being the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network. In addition to talking about the creation of NQTTCN, Erica shares his own approach to mental health in his practice and with his clients, and we discuss the idea of meaning making and understanding generational trauma, de-centering therapy as the only form of healing, the impact of this past year on all of our mental states, and what we can do moving forward to heal ourselves, community, and world.

Follow Erica:
Instagram
Website

Organization of the Week: NQTTCN
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What is the inspiration for you music?" "How has your queer identity grown through your music?"  "Have you dealt with queer-phobia in the music industry?" "How can we make more space for queer recording artists?"

On this episode, I interview a singer and songwriter in the hip-hop scene, Niambi Ra (she/her). Growing up, Niambi was always exposed to the arts and an array of queer people in it, in her hometown of Washington D.C. Niambi shares specifically how she witnessed positive examples of Queer Black love and how that had a positive impact on her own coming out journey. She shares how her mother was a dancer, and it was inevitable that she would go into some kind of art. She found and fell in love with music and also acting and ended up attending NYU for musical theatre. Niambi then goes on to share how being a musical theatre performer used to be something she would hide but now it's something she owns because she recognizes the strengths it gives her. Niambi shares her own journey as a queer recording artist and how her ownership of her identity evolved as she created more music and showcased her queerness in her music videos, particularly her most recent song "Guidance." Throughout the episode, we discuss many things such as: queerness and camp in the music industry, how the act of queer people being themselves is political, double standards between men and women in the industry, the unsureness the industry has about where to put gender non-conforming folk, and much more.

Follow Niambi:
Instagram
YouTube

Organization of the Week: National Queer Theater
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What is activism?" "What is the intersection of art and activism?" "How has social media affected activism and the spread of information?" "How do we all show up for Black lives?"

On this episode, I interview Marla Louissaint (she/her), a Haitian-born performer, published model, activist, abolitionist, visionary, and life-long student who is also the founder of the non-profit Claim Our Space Now. Marla didn't anticipate being an activist, or "artivist" as she likes to say. She says how it is something the ancestors chose for her because she had many things she wanted to say and people needed to hear them. Marla shares how the lynchings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and far too many black bodies at the beginning of 2020 was "the straw that broke her back." She decided from this moment that she had to do something to get those not just in her communities but all in for the fight for Black lives. Marla shares her 2020 journey: from sending a call out to various Jimmy Awards (The National High School Musical Theatre Awards alum) to call out James Nederlander (who the awards were named after) who had been revealed to have donated significant funds to Donald Trump's campaign. The goal was for him to donate funds to various Black Lives Matter organizations and to stand in solidarity with the black and brown alumni who had gone through his program. Marla shares how this initial spark led her to founding her non-profit Claim Our Space Now, who's mission is to provide resources and aid in the fight for Black lives.

We also discuss:

• The necessity for all to get in on the fight against racism in all fields: medical racism, environmental racism, educational racism, etc.
• Questioning the systems around us and where our funds are actually going.
• The use of social media to spread information and also the racism that keeps Black, Brown, and Queer creators down.
• Claiming space and knowing who you are so you can be intentional with your life.

Follow Marla:
Instagram
Twitter

Resources for Further Learning:
How Marla Louissaint is Making the Revolution Irresistible from Playbill.com
1619 podcast

Organization of the Week: Claim Our Space Now
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"When did you first see a trans character in performance?" "Why is there such a lack of inclusion of trans performers in theatre?" "How do we hold institutions who have failed and done harm accountable?" "How can we grow?"

On this episode, I interview singer, actress, producer, director, writer, activist, and winner of the Human Rights Campaign Visibility award in January of 2020, Aneesh Sheth (she/her). Aneesh shares how her first exposure to queerness was when a sari (a garment from the Indian subcontinent traditionally worn by women) was put on her at a young age, and she recalls feeling very comfortable in it.  She also shares how her exposure to Hijra culture made an impression on her as to how society viewed those outside of the gender binary. It was then through her journey of working on the role of Sweetie in the musical Bombay Dreams that she learned about her own gender identity and also how trans characters and actors were viewed in theatrical spaces. Aneesh and I discuss how the theatre has progressed in terms of inclusion, how we can hold institutions accountable for making sure to do this work, the impact this past year has had on artists, and advice for trans and gender non-conforming artists who feel stifled by the inaccessible theatrical industry.

We also discuss: 

• How trans characters have developed in theatre and why there is such little progress
• How to be inclusive of trans, gender non-conforming, actors with disabilities, and many other minorities in revivals of shows.
• How to successfully develop shows with trans characters in them.
• The issue of accessibility in theatre

...and much more.

Follow Aneesh:
Instagram
Website

Resources for Further Learning:
An Open Letter: A Statement to the Public Theatre by Aneesh Sheth
Aneesh Sheth receives HRC's Visibility Award

Organization of the Week: The Next Generation Project
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"How did you know you were non-binary?" "How do you explore gender?" "What is the difference between gayness and queerness?" "How can cis people be better allies to trans and gender non-conforming folk?"

On this episode, I interview actor, writer, and a light of a human, Colette March (they/them). Throughout the episode, Colette shares how for the beginning of their time identifying they identified as a gay man to eventually identifying as someone who is non-binary, more so on the trans femme side. We discuss things such as how one's queer identity isn't all we are but how it informs how we live in the world; how cis people can be better allies to trans and gender non-conforming folk; and what advice they have for those wanting to explore their gender but aren't sure how.

We also discuss:

• Growing up in the age of the internet and how that was many of our first introduction to what queerness was.
• Homophobia in the public eye and why it's necessary for celebrities to be visible with they ally ship.
• Microaggresive language towards trans and non-binary people.
• The issue with the ideas of Normalization and Tolerance.

...and much more.

Follow Colette:
Instagram
TikTok

Organization of the Week: The Center
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"How do you talk to kids about queerness?" "How can a kid know how they identify gender or sexuality-wise?" "How do you deal with backlash from those who think kids shouldn't know about 'these things'?" “Why is it important for kids to see queerness represented in media?”

On this episode, I interview Lindz Amer (they/them), the creator of Queer Kid Stuff: a web series and media outlet that imagines a kinder and more equal future through highly-accessible education and entertainment for kids ages 3+.  Lindz launched QKS in 2015 with their best stuffed friend Teddy as a way to make seemingly complex subjects like Queerness, Pronouns, Racism, Religion, Homophobia, and many others easy for kids to understand. Lindz says how they did it as a way to not only help kids understand but parents as well. They, ultimately, wanted to create something that they would have loved to have seen when they were a kid. Representation and support from family and friends can make a tremendous impact on a young queer kid. Aside from this show, we also discuss the evolution of representation in kid's media and why the representation needs to be explicitly visible and not just hinted at. As Lindz and I discuss their journey as an activist and creator of QKS, we also talk about the backlash they've faced from those who don't understand the work they do. We talk about why Queerness and LGBTQ+ topics seem to be deemed too sexual or too hard for kids to understand.

Follow Lindz and Queer Kid Stuff:
Lindz on Instagram
Queer Kid Stuff
Queer Kid Stuff Instagram
Queer Kid Stuff YouTube

Organization of the Week: PFLAG
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Resources for Further Learning:
Activist, You! Podcast
Lindz's TED Talk

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What made you decide to have kids?" "Did you ever see examples of queer parents with kids growing up?" "What was the process like for having a kid as a same-sex parents?" "What is the best and hardest part about being a mom?"

On this week's episode I interview an award-winning Broadway performer, choreographer, director, educator, and philanthropist, Stephanie Klemons (she/her). Growing up, Stephanie always knew she wanted to have kids. However, until recently, having kids didn't always seem like an achievable dream for many queer people. This was due to the lack of representation we saw around us, the legislation that made it difficult for queer parents to have or adopt kids, and the fact that we are told kids who are raised by queer parents will end up "troubled" or "messed up." Stephanie says she recalls asking adults who were her age who had been raised by queer parents if they were "okay." This, due to all of the lies we as queer people are fed from an oppressive religious hierarchy. However, that didn't stop her from pursuing this dream and eventually having, now, not one, but two kids. Stephanie talks about how it was important to raise her kids around other kids like them, hence raising them in a community with other same-sex parents. We also discuss her and her wife's process to get pregnant, the importance of kids seeing themselves in media, the proudest moments she has had as a parent, and much more.

Follow Stephanie:
Instagram
Website
Katie’s Art Project

Organization of the Week: Queer Art
Learn
Donate

Resources for Further Learning:
Same Sex Parenting - Birth Certificate FAQ's
How expensive is it for Queer couples to have kids?

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"How are queer people shamed from expressing ourselves authentically?" "How do we rediscover our authentic voice and self?" "Is there ever a time where code-switching is good?" "How can finding community help us pursue our dreams?"

On this episode, I interview business coach and entrepreneur Jacob Ratliff (he/him). Through his business, Jacob aims to "work with committed entrepreneurs who want to create a positive impact on other people’s lives and on the world…who want to change lives and make money doing it." He also markets himself as a coach who specifically works with aspiring LGBTQ+ and allied entrepreneurs. Through the episode, we discuss Jacob's journey from being bullied in middle school for his more "effeminate" qualities and to feeling ashamed of his queer identity to being the proud queer person he is now. He hopes to inspire others to live their truth's, follow their dreams, and learn how to monetize them as well. Jacob shares how it was inspired by his mom who returned to medical school after undergrad and then raising two kids to take charge of his own career and start his own business. He also shares how initially he wasn't attracting the clientele that aligned with his morals. However, once he started identifying as a queer and queer specializing coach, he began to see a shift in not only the clients he began attracting but also himself and his own journey.

We also discuss:

• Code-switching: the positives and negatives about it
• The journey Queer people go on to rediscover our voices.
• The impact of colonialism on society, gender expression, the binary, sexuality
• How one's sexuality went from being something they did to being a part of their identity and the problem White, Christian society had with that.

...and much more.

Follow Jacob:
Website
Instagram
Facebook group for LGBTQ+ Coaches and Leaders

Organization of the Week: StartOut
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What's the deal with Animal Crossing?" "Why do so many queer people love this game?" "What are some examples of queerness in gaming and animation?" "How has Animal Crossing helped us this past year?"

On this week's episode, we are talking about one of my favorite subjects, and something that truly came through over this past year: Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I'm joined by special guests Angie (she/her) and Luca (they/them) (Angie of Mokoto and Frankie of Lothorien in the game) of the LGBTQ+ Animal Crossing Facebook group. I chose to talk about Animal Crossing on the show because as I was exposed to it over the past year, I started to see the giant community it brought together. It allowed many of us any outlet to connect and socialize with each other during a type when we had to be physically distant. It allowed for a beautiful, virtual escape where we could create the island paradise of our dreams and express ourselves in ways we may not feel comfortable doing in real life. Through the episode, we discuss why this game has such a significant LGBTQIA+ following, how do we express our Queerness in the game, Queer icons from the game, and why we think everyone needs to get into this game.

Organization of the Week: Queer Cultural Center
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Donate

Resources for Further Learning:
Animal Crossing: New Horizons Helps Queer Players Express Themselves
Animal Crossing: New Horizons has subtle nods to LGBT relationships

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"How did Queer slang come about?" "What is the difference between my gender identity, sexuality, and my romantic identity?" "What is the difference between appropriation vs. appreciation?" "How has our vernacular evolved?"

On this week's episode, I interview the author of the new book The Queen's English: The LGBTQIA+ Dictionary of Lingo and Colloquial Phrases, Chloe Davis (she/her). Chloe had the idea for the book in 2006 when she landed her first job as a professional performing artist at a Philadelphia-based dance company. She remembered hanging with some of the MVP's of the cast where they would laugh, joke, "kiki", but many of the jokes sounded like code to her. One day she decided to ask what some of these words and phrases meant, and they went on to break it down. From that point, she became obsessed and kept a list of all of the words and phrases she was learning. As she traveled the country performing, she learned more terms from other LGBTQIA+ artists and performers, friendly strangers in gayborhoods, at LGBT Centers, and during Pride events. She remembers jokingly telling a friend that this was a fully developed language and there should be a dictionary for these words. “When you write it,” he said, “call it The Queens’ English. It’s a language for all the queens.”

On this episode, we discuss Chloe's journey with creating the book. We also discuss the beauty and expansiveness of Queer vernacular. We get into things such as: 

• The appropriation of Queer vernacular and AAVE through mainstream culture and other queer spaces.
• The importance of giving credit to the communities where these terms originated.
• The freedom and power with labels (i.e. gender, sexuality, romantic identity).
• How words have evolved and been reclaimed.

...and so much more.

Follow The Queen's English and Chloe Davis:
Queen's English Website
Queen's English Instagram
Chloe Davis Instagram

Organization of the Week: The Audre Lorde Project
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Resources for Further Learning:
"Lavender Language, The Queer Way to Speak"
"LGBTQ Definitions Every Good Ally Should Know"

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"Did you have a queer role model growing up?" "How can we be role models to younger queer folk?" "How do we make connections with queer people of a different generation?" "How do we create accurate representation of queer people in performance?"

On this week's episode, I interview my good Judy, collaborator, director, theatre maker, and Canadian, Tom Delbello (he/him). We discuss the importance for queer people to have role models and the impact of making intergenerational connections with other queer people. A study done by PMC Labs says that 60% of LGBTQ+ youth have healthy role models to look up to but only 33% are accessible. The numbers are even worse for BIPOC and Transgender youth. Tom and I get into growing up in two different eras where the visibility and representation was far less than it was now. We talk about the scariness and importance of being the first in our communities to come out, and how that can help others accept their own queerness. We find that being a role model means to lead the way, make space for others, and doing something before anyone else tells or asks you to. We also talk about the disconnect that sometimes exists between younger and older generations of queer people and the necessity for both to listen and learn from each other.

Also, as we are both theatre makers, we also talk about the change of queer representation in theatre over the years: how to evolve older works, queer actors playing queer roles, and much more.

Follow Tom:
Instagram

Organization of the Week: Brave Trails
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Resources for Further Learning:
"LGBT Youth Need Role Models"

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"Why would someone get involved in politics?"  "Why should LGBTQ+ individuals care about our political system?" "What inspires you to keep going in a seemingly rigged system?" "How  do we make real change in our political system?"

On this episode, I'm joined by Congressman Sam Park (he/him) of Georgia House District 101 to discuss the current state of the American political system.  Born and raised in Georgia, Sam is the grandson of refugees from the Korean War and the son of immigrants. It is largely due to his mother--who worked tirelessly to provide for her family and make sure her kids had a fair shot at the American dream--that he decided to run for office in 2016. Just after Sam passed the bar exam in 2014, his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Luckily, due to public health insurance, like Medicaid and Medicare, she had access to healthcare and a fighting chance. Because she had this access, Sam and his family were able to have a long goodbye with her, and she lived to see her son become the first Asian American Democrat and first openly gay man elected to the Georgia State Legislature. It was through the process of taking his mom to chemotherapy appointments and caring for her that he realized the life and death importance of healthcare. In 2016, he unseated a three-term Republican and made history with a grassroots, people-powered campaign.

In addition to discussing Sam's political journey, we also talk about the importance of knowing our history in order to create the future we want, the current backlash we are seeing with Jim Crow-like legislature being passed nationwide, the importance of working to enfranchise those who have been disenfranchised by the political system, and the necessity of using our voice by casting our vote at all levels of elections.

Follow Sam:
Website
Instagram
Twitter

Organization of the week: Southerners On New Ground
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Resources for Further Learning:

• Danica Roem's Message to LGBTQ Youth: 'You have to care' about politics
• Georgia’s restrictive new voting law, explained
• Meet Sam Park, First Openly Gay Man Elected to Georgia Congress

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"How has Queerness--queer expression, lifestyle, identity--evolved?" "How has your Queer identity changed over time?" "What gives you hope to keep going?" "What does the next stage of Queer evolution look like?"

On this episode, I have the immense pleasure of speaking with Chitah Daniels Kennedy (any pronouns), a San Marcos, TX based drag artist/mother, actress, storyteller, and enchantress. Chitah is someone who has truly gotten to see the evolution of LGBTQ+ acceptance, vernacular, and identity. She has witnessed it not just through her own life and career but through the countless drag children and other Queer babies who have the honor of meeting her. Growing up, Queerness was ever present in her life, even if she didn't have the words to name it. She shares about the uncle she had who was a famous San Antonio drag performer in the 70's as well as the butch lesbian cousins she had to look to as examples. There was something about them that she was both drawn to and scared of. Chitah and I talk about this common experience for a lot of younger Queer people because there is something we see that we identify with. However, the fear comes form the uncertainty of how we will be perceived once we explore this. She shares how she eventually leaned into her more queer qualities, and there she found her power.

Throughout the episode, we take you through Chitah's incredible journey: to growing up in a very conservative middle Texan town; to moving to New York City and finding her drag identity in the 90's in the East Village alongside the likes of Laverne Cox and Peppermint; to realizing her trans identity during a time when the visibility for trans identifying people was extremely limited and stigmatized; to moving back to her hometown in Texas and seeing a new Queer culture bubbling under the surface; to becoming the mother of countless drag children and helping create a flourishing community of LGBTQ+ individuals in her hometown. Chitah's story is truly epic, but the best part about it all is that her motto is, "just keep going." She shares how she has no end goal; that by always actively seeking joy she knows she will find her bliss and things will work out.

Follow Chitah:
Instagram

Organization of the Week: Queerbomb
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

Welcome to Season 2 of Queer Queeries! "That’s Queeries double e, not queries single e, cause queries single e is straight not gay." I can’t believe it has been a year since I launched this show, and here I am at the beginning of another season full of more incredible conversations with Queer people whom I’m so inspired by. Thank you so much for tuning into this show. Get ready to enjoy a whole other season full of incredible guests and conversation.

Follow Us:
Website
Instagram
Facebook

Resources for Further Learning:
"A surge in legislation targeting trans youth 'could come at the literal cost of lives,' advocates warn"
"Supreme Court Lets Philadelphia Religious Adoption Agency Block LGBTQ Foster Parents"
"1 in 6 Gen Z adults are LGBT"

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Co-Produced/Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"Who is one of your dream guests for this show...?"

SURPRISE! This week I'm so excited to release a special episode with an incredible Queer that I've been admiring and wanting to talk to for so long...

Marti Allen Cummings (they/them) is an NYC based drag artist and activist/community organizer. Marti is currently running for a city council seat in Manhattan's 7th Council District on the West Side of Manhattan.

On this special episode, Marti and I discuss their unconventional way of becoming a drag queen and moving on to become one of the country's most recognizable drag artists. We also discuss the moment they chose to do more with their drag and get into community organizing and politics, how drag queens and Queer people in general need to get political, and lastly what has given us both hope for the future.

Follow Marti:
Website
Instagram
Twitter

Organization of the week: The Ali Forney Center
Learn
Donate

DEADLINE TO REGISTER TO VOTE IS MAY 27TH!
Register to Vote in the NYC primaries and Elections

Resources for Further Learning:
The First Drag Queen Was A Former Slave: William Dorsey Swann
This Drag Queen Was The First Openly Gay American To Run For Office: José Sarria

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

On the Season 1 finale of Queer Queeries, we look towards the future and what we can all do to take strides forward in visibility, rights, and protection for LGBTQ+ people.

Follow us on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/queer.queeries/) and stay tuned for news on upcoming Bonus episodes and when Season 2 will be released.

Email thoughts, feedback, or anything you'd like to say to askqueerqueeries@gmail.com

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What is the hardest part of raising a child who's gay?" "When did you know?" "What was your impression of the LGBTQIA+ community before having a gay child?"  "What can I, as a parent, do for my Queer child and other Queer children?"

On this final interview of the season, I interview my parents, Kathy and Jay Eibler (she/her, he/his), about their experience of raising a gay child and their journey from no exposure or knowledge about the Queer community to being fully immersed in it and two of the biggest advocates I know. As two kids of the 60's, born into small town Midwestern homes, both my parents really had no knowledge of the Queer community. Both of them said they weren't fully aware of the community until the AIDS crisis. However, looking back, with the knowledge they have now, they both say how there were probably more Queer people around them than they were aware of. They both say how it was always as a result of shame around being gay or lesbian that they feel is what kept people from being out.  We also discuss my coming out journey and the impact it had on our family: how the impact of what society thought about gay men and specifically in a Christian environment negatively affected us. Both my parents believe me being gay was a wake up call for both of them. They share where they felt they succeeded, what their mistakes were, and lastly, advice they have for parents and adults on how to make our society a safer, more loving and accepting place for Queer children.

We also discuss:

• Impressions of people who acted outside gender norms
• The evolution of language around Queer people
• Their struggle of internalizing a lot their fears around me being gay as opposed to externalizing it onto me
• Why Queer people have to prove themselves in their career in order to be loved because  they have their queerness going against them
• How can parenting shift in terms of allowing kids to self identify and not feel like their kids are being sexualized

Resources for Further Learning:
Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family: https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Erased-Memoir-Identity-Family/dp/0735213461/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2POFKN0JGK4W8&dchild=1&keywords=boy+erased&qid=1604171835&sprefix=boy+erased%2Caps%2C169&sr=8-2
Living Right: https://www.amazon.com/Living-Right-Laila-Ibrahim-ebook/dp/B01EVMC2I0/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1NEOAYSLRXJ8R&dchild=1&keywords=living+right+by+laila+ibrahim&qid=1604171880&sprefix=living+right%2Caps%2C167&sr=8-1
How We Sleep at Night: https://www.amazon.com/How-We-Sleep-At-Night/dp/1499725388/ref=sr_1_2?crid=YBM7WZVLIZ2U&dchild=1&keywords=how+we+sleep+at+night&qid=1604171968&sprefix=how+we+sleep%2Caps%2C173&sr=8-2

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"Why do we have such hesitations when discussing sex?"  "What can we learn from the BDSM community?" "How have we assigned gender to roles in sex?"  "How is sex a form of self love?"

This episode contains mature content.

In continuing the discussion from last week on Sex, I interview Natalie Rivera (she/her), host of the How I F*ck podcast: a show that aims to debunk myths and misconceptions about sex by interviewing people of different backgrounds, identities, communities, and lifestyles. I talk with Natalie about why she decided to start her show, not only as a way to learn herself but to help bring awareness to any disparities or sexual movements that are overlooked in mainstream media. We also discuss our society's discomfort with discussing sex in casual conversation, sex as a form of self love, how we have gendered certain roles in sex, and her own experience as a bi woman and the bi-phobia she experienced both in life and in sex.

...Wow, that's a lot fo sex. But hey, like Natalie says, talking about sex is fun and important because it is one of the most human things about us.


Follow How I F*ck podcast:
Website: https://www.howifckpodcast.com
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/HowIfckpodcast

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Learn: https://www.snap4freedom.org
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Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"Why do we have shame around discussing sex?"  "Do you feel shame around discussing sex? Having too much sex?"  "Why are fear and sex so integrally linked?" "What is 'pegging'?"

This episode contains mature content.

On this episode, I interview original Grover in The Lightning Thief  musical, fierce slam poet, and incredible human, Jorrel Javier (he/him), and we are here to discuss everyone's favorite three letter, adult activity.....SEX. Sex is such an integral part to not only Queer culture but all cultures because we all have such a complicated relationship with it. For Queer people it is especially complicated because it is one part of us that has been shamed for much of our lives. Then when we get the chance to learn about it, it is often through a very skewed, incorrect leans--through mediums like porn--which is often a detriment to our mental health, relationships with others, and ourselves, and overall growth. Jorrel and I delve into how our society developed from ancient cultures where sex and Queer people where such and integral part of society to carrying shame and hesitation around discussing it: why we feel so ashamed discussing it, how religion has taught us to fear it, acceptability for men vs. women when expressing sexuality, how Gay men equate our self worth to how much sex we have and who we do it with, how we shame people in certain roles within our community, and so much more. The list goes on. This is a Sex Ed episode not just for Queers but also for the straights. It is time we destigmitize something that is one of the most human things in our world.

We also get into Queeries such as:

• Prerequisites for sex.
• How feeling and discussion around sex trickles down from older generations.
• Fear based around sex and the act of losing one's virginity
• How porn negatively teaches us how sex is supposed to go
• Our preferences being rooted in misogny and the "white ideal"
• Daily diligence and doing work--that will never be done-- for the betterment of our community

Queer Glossary:

• Two Spirit:  Native American two spirit people were male, female, and sometimes intersex individuals who combined activities of both men and women with traits unique to their status as two spirit people. In most tribes, they were considered neither men nor women; they occupied a distinct, alternative gender status. 

Follow Jorrel:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jorrel_/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JorrelFromWork
TEDx Texas State Talk "Being Purple in a World of Reds and Blues": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5495EAtxP4

Art Hoe Collective:
Donate to Arthoecorep@gmail.com on PayPal
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthoecollective/

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón