2 ex-cons who have nearly 3 decades of state prison incarceration read the news and tell it like it is - or more accurately - how it should be. We are both completely bonkers and it takes everything the 2 of us have just to make a legible thought every now and again. But boy, when that thought come together, it is truly a beautiful and wonderous achievment worthy of elation, adoration, and if you can afford to - donation. Help us, help u, fix the world one podcast at a time. Death To Applebee's!!
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Beef Curtain, beef curtain, where for art thou beef curtain??? Cooking meth in the trailer park, stripping aluminum off our house and selling it for drug $$. Carpet cruising and other fun things we used to do as drug addicts. And the 1.9 Trillion Dollar "American Rescue Plan" and all of the wasteful spending you will not believe. Season 2 Finale
Support the showIt Happens... What Happens?? -Poop happens , and all over the floor apparently. Homeless sleeping bag sex - and what a nice suprise the guy found while doing it. Men having sex with men is apparently not gay anymore - says one of the gay'est article every written. Have you ever stuck your tongue so far up a girls ass that.... Guess your gonna have to listen to find out. And the government robbing us - pretty standard fair.
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Support the showLooking for an Asian bride - can anyone help - we need the $$. "Be less White" - 10 bulletpoints by Robin Diangelo on how to be "less white" - ya know you need it :| . The muppets are offensive now - Dr. Seuss is cancelled - Math is racist and being punctual is a sign of white oppression. All this lunacy and more on this weeks show.
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Support the showGovernor poopsom is at it again. NASA is looking for pondscum up on mars - but we have plenty of liberals here. Two states - two different covid tactics - lets see how they fared. ObjectumSexuals - yep its a thing. Lady loves being treated like a dog and gets paid 6 figures for it. Christian OnlyFans star gets paid 200k a month for taking her clothes off. Young people dressing up as elderly people to get the vaccine shot - yikes. And much more
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Support the showWe spend the episode with shock collars on trying to electrocute ourselves out of swear words through behavioral conditioning. Needless to say - we fail.
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Support the showFollow up on Wallstreet Bets. Daddy Elon ushering us into the future and making us rich one tweet at a time. MMmmmm Musky. Long Dong's and new-booties in prison. Terrible prison stories and youngster hazing's we'll surely burn in hell for. Dr. Fauci is at it again - should just put a bag over his head already. And Gavin Newsom needs only 100k more signatures to usher in a recall - so we can usher in some other POS. Also, bonus hustle ideas for the youngsters.
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Support the showWalstreet Bets and the biggest short squeeze in history! Uniting the country one bankrupt hedge fund at a time. Robinhood App claims its for the people yet their covers were completely pulled. Power Corrupts but $$ corrupts absolutely. Google is Evil. AMC, GME,
KOSS and other companies being frankestein'd by the Retail Investor. And Anal Swabs - you know we had to throw some butt stuff in.
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Support the showChuck Schumer has a massive erection and it's for Donald Trump - crazy. Unbelievable government waste - its your $$ and they want it now. Covering a shit sundae with a cherry and whip cream.... mmmm tasty AF . Phatboy's crazy prison stories - do not go to prison kidz. It'll ruin your humanity...and butthole - mainly humanity, but also your butthole. Blue steel -blue flag - Crip or die dont turn your back. Yep......
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Support the showVaginal Steaming... yep its a thing - Welcome to the Steamy Clam. The left proving hypocrisy is alive and well. Dumb assassination attempt - "come on man". Racing pigeons on death row. Stroking out after cunnilingus. Transgender male-to-females are stronger than biological females says an amazing new study - who knew... According to medieval prophecy London is set to fall. Some fun guy injected fungi - trippy story you wont wanna miss this episode!!! Death to Applebees!
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Support the showCan we all just go back to 2020?!?! Some of our old criminal war stories and undertakings. Social Media platforms on full political/tyrannical mode. Censorship and the death of free Speech. 2 hours of a protest gone awry in the capitol equals a "riot" and "mob" according to the media - but months of burning down cities across America was a "peaceful protest". Craziness is already in full swing and 2021 is just getting started.
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Support the show2021 is here and Covid is OVER yayyyyy!!! What the fuck is Bitcoin??? The Schroedinger equation and the collapse of the wave function - Did he really put a cat in a box???? The Dunning-Kruger effect - Dumb people who think their smart and you can find them all on Twitter! XMAS lights are a representation of systemic bias - WTF. Serial Burglar mistakenly snorts semen while robbing a house.... Lots of semen. We survived 2020 now the real test begins! Death to Applebees!
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How far can an Anus Stretch??? Lets find out shall we. The real Covid "Relief" Package - we take a look at some of the exhibits that congress is trying to sneak in under the guise of "Relief" for Americans - Surprise, Surprise its not. Fallacious Story of an airplane having to make an emergency landing because of one womans stanky vag. Final Episode of 2020 #fuck2020 . And our hero of the week - A guy who is fighting back Newsoms' Draconian health ordinates. And our rant for people who take the time out of their lives to click Thumbs down and leave bad yelp reviews. Suck it. Death To Applebees
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Support the showVigilante Mom hunts down cartel members one-by-one and does them in Liam Neeson style. WTF!! The great Saturn/Jupiter conversion (conjuction ??? lol). Bad policies of LA county and its disgusting elected officials. Health Code enforcers are cracking down FFS! Ivy League professor is claiming old people are "whiter" so do not need the corona virus vaccine before minorites - says we need to "level the playing field" a page right out of Mein Kampf. Elon Musk says gender pronouns are an "aesthetic nightmare" and cancel culture strikes again. Death To Applebees!
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Support the showChinese are invading from Canada WTF!!! A man who identifies as a deer gets shot after frolicking in the South Carolina Woods. Teachers Unions are now claiming its sexist, racist and homophobic to work. Santa Claus is a Card Carrying Nazi. The media finally decides to run the Biden Crime Family scandal but purposefully waited till all 50 states certified him. And The monoliths are back and continue to appear and disappear the world over... Aliens?? Death to Applebees.
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Support the showMarrying Sex Dolls - Fraudulently Fornicating With Fraternal Twins - Duck Penises and why you should be scared. Bribing citizens with cold hard cash to get the vaccine (The Proposed $1500 Stimulus bill). California's Governor NewScums blatant disdain for the peasant class and the Law Enforcement agencies refusing to be the muscle for his draconian measures. And of course our hero of the week - Don't mess With Black Sabbath! And, as always, Death to applebees!
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Support the showBlack Friday Fraud. The Big Apartment Heist. Toothpaste has gone the way of Doritos. Magical alien monolith found in the Utah desert. Bicyclists and ISIS don't get along. Converting headhunters to christianity. And of course Death to AppleBees!!!
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Support the showFlying Drones Into Cop Copters! Political Hypocrites - leading through bad examples! Gruesome Newsom partying it up in highfalutin French Fine dining while he mandates and dictates unintelligent guidelines for the peasant class. Lab owner falsifies drug tests and gets peoples kids taken away. An asteroid barely misses earth by 238 miles!! And other funny and upsetting new stories here at the ROTFL Podcast! Oh yah, Death Upon Thine Applebees!
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Support the showGetting old one day at a time. Woke brigade is back and trying to cancel Baby Yoda and Target stores are fighting back. Governor Gruesome Newsom is overstepping his bounds and a judge bitch slapped him - legally. CNN analysts are worried about conservatives leaving the mainstream social media platforms en masse - wonder why lmfao. Taiwanese people eating babies perhaps??? All this and more.
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Support the showA world full of bullshit!! Reigning my cost host in on a regular. Threatening the audience - lol. When is too soon - too soon? Everybody is gonna die quit being arrogant. Falling in love with a puppy...sexually. Worse break up story ever. Quit sending unsolicited dick pics!
Death to Applebees!
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Becoming "Super-Woke", "Tokenizing"/Ruining the Comic Book universe. Bad Burglars. Heroic Parrots. Taking your dead dog out for a midnight stroll. Calling out the Corona. And more amazing jaunts into they sociopathic mind. Death to Applebees
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