Raunchy Reading

Orgasms, Emeralds, and Angst- oh my~! Escape in the dead of bright morning to the final installment of Duke of Midnight, that's right daring doers, It's Part Three! As the hour nears 12 of the clock, capers, chases, and smut commence.

Will the Duke do the right thing? Can Craven control his sass? 'Tis time to identify the final Batman AU characters as we cum to the conclusion of Elizabeth Hoyt's excellent tale- a balance of Big Watson Energy, and Sad Dick Energy... pregnate with likely Typhoid. 

If we can take but three humble lessons from this, take 1. Gin is great. 2. If you want dick, go get it. 3. The real friends are the dicks we found along the way.

Part TWO of Elizabeth Hoyt's Duke of Midnight! Are you ready for some pants-feels? Join us for a wade through hip-deep-angst amidst the gin-soaked alleyways of Saint Giles, the /cough/ workout-dungeon, and dingey secret passageway- now charmingly decorated with a sexy, chained up man- you know, like all the classiest archeological sites.

It's Batman AU galore with a constant side of sass from our dearest Alfred-Fucking-Pennyworth... sorry- CRAVEN. You want to learn about the DCU? Too bad, it's happening anyway, and I promise you'll love it, even if you think you won't! Kind of like someone responding to a slap by making-out seems like bad form, but magically, believably isn't because #goodwriting !

Quick, collect your cluster of canonical Robins, and tune in This Bat-Time on This Bat-Chanel! To the Ghost-Mobile!

Ruh-roh, dinner at your escort-fake-boyfriend's family's place? Social snafus? Way too much angst for one man about... not much? Wow, much wow.
Join us for the second and final part of our Kiss Quotient Review (by Helen Hoang). Listen, when you're Daniel Henney hot, ripped, thoughtful, loving, talented and into fashion, there has to be at least one downside- hint, it's too much angst for what wasn't really a big deal. But what is a big deal? Having a disastrous first meal with your boo's family and the heartbreak of falling in love when there is no reason not to!
We loved this book, and think you will too. Keep a weather eye for representation, realism, growth, and a great deal of steamy... sorry I misspelled that- STEAMY- sex scenes.
Stop microwaving foods in plastic. It's time to slice up some mangoes with ngoai, and settle in for a refreshing ride with realistic characters, realistic relationships (good, bad and ugly), and quite the HEA!

Hey STELLAAAA … for the season premiere of Raunchy Reaching, we read something we both … actually … liked? She’s a hot econometrician who owns a house in San Francisco (in this economy?) and he’s a #goodsmellingcomfymuscledragontattooman with daddy issues. She needs someone to teach her how to sex and he needs someone to pay his automobills in this reverse Pretty Woman story! But will their arrangement lead to … something MORE? And will we lose our minds along the way? The algorithm says yes! Remember, #hotfitguyshaveproblemstoo, and if #danielhenneycomesforyou in the night, your partner will probably forgive you. Grab some mint chocolate chip ice cream, perk up your nips, and settle in for the first episode of season 2!!

Wooo, welcome 2023! Raunchy Readers, are you ready for some smut?! When I say dick, you say folds! Dick!
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... dick...?
Hello?

It's the beginning of the year, and you need time to recalibrate, I get it. In fact, we do too, this is a hiatus announcement. Emily and I (Morgan) need some time to build a backlog of books read, and recordings completed before the year barrels on in earnest.

Raunchy Reading Season TWO(!) will launch on Monday March 6th, 2023. New episodes every other Monday- same bat-time, same bat-channel.  As always you can reach us on social, or shoot us an email:

Twitter: @raunchyreading
Instagram: @raunchyreading
Email: raunchyreading@gmail.com 

The Christmas Leap by Kiera Andrews, NOTABLY narrated by the, apparently, exceedingly talented Greg Boudreaux.

That's right, we went Holiday themed for our last episode of the year, The Christmas Leap is seeing us out of 2022! This feel good M/M HEA has friends to lovers, fake relationship drama, bi-boys, self-discovery, emotional maturity, a lot of 'only-one-bed' moments, some HOT sex scenes, and a trip Down Under (Australia... that means Australia...), and we've got a heart-of-gold Scotsman! Wait... Dolly Parton, is that you?

If at all possible, listen to the audio book so you can get the full glory of a Scottish Brogue and the Texan force of nature that is Angela Barker.

What you need to know: There are no lesser Hemsworths. Though it's not his fault, Kevin is unfit to live and riddled with Chlamydia, so it's a good thing he's an ornament. Kangaroos are jacked, Liam is famous for being gay, and one should always, ALWAYS fuck on heated floors when given the chance. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Safeword: Koala

It's part 2 of Ancient History by A.J. Truman!

Finally know what happens with our favorite reunited lovers, and watch the tension build for everyone's favorite whole-sexual and Drama Teacher! It's a will they, won't they where we all already know the answer, but we want it all anyway!

It's PROM SEASON kids, so hit up Mr. Formal, and try not to be crippled by anxiety and hormones (pick one, that's all you get). We've got Promposals, cute moments, some not so discrete moments, and a lot of maturity going around.

What you need to know: Fuck Tommy. P.R.O.M.? Hospitals will not let you do that. Raleigh means PANsexual. Pop has still got it, and remains, as always, #thebest .

Safeword: CUMberbund ... Do you get it? Do you get what I did there?

This week come along as we delve into Ancient History by A.J. Truman, the first book in his South Rock High Series. This one had to be a two parter! Sure, you'll get a Charlie cameo (Barkeep and the Bro, episodes 14 & 15), but trust me, you really want to be here for Amos and Hutch! Strap in. High school drama, old and new, the old man you didn't know you needed in your life- Pop is #thebest-, and emotionally mature rekindled love, wrapped in lust! It's HEA on high with gorgeous Amos ('borrowed' zucchini famous), and Hutch, a jock cultivated by the 'horniest of Greek Gods'.

We've created an entire new field of study for higher education, we still can't get over shipping NFL coaches, LOTR lives rent free, camping is too early, and Shakespeare lives on... so yeah, we get off the rails a bit, but you expect that by now xoxo.

What you need to know: HS teacher group chats are the bee's-knees. Jesus would totally be a catch in the gay community. Candy does not a relationship make. Ophelia only got that Hamlet dick one time.

Safe Word: Water Sports

We'll see you in New Orleans for the conference! 

Lightning Bored by Sam Burns is an M/M reimagining of Frankenstein. We wanted to cover a creepy book for Halloween, instead we got a flat tale that didn't inspire us at all. So what are two Raunchy Readers to do? Go off the rails. From Hans Christian Andersen to Count Silver Nose, this is an episode of flights of fancy, tales from the crypts of our mind, and fun facts.

Enjoy or fearsome tales. Sleep over truths from middle school (the most horrifying of times), Star Wars, LOTR, more plucky reporters, Supernatural, Zombies, Nightmares and Stoned Kids in Graveyards.

Warning: Suicide, and discussion of suicide ideation.

Back on Halloween, Monday October 31st with Lightning Born by Sam Burns- Book One of the Monsters and Mayhem series of MM Romantic retellings of classic horror literary works!

This episode's book is Melting Iron by Laurann Dohner, an M/F Cyborg, space romance brought to you by the local library, because... because. Are you looking for a sci-fi Stockholm syndr- sorry, ROMANCE, extra-light on the sci-fi with perfectly normal human 'cyborgs' minus all the pesky emotions?! Cool, lower your expectations a touch, and we are there! Don't worry, if your nebulously enormous, color-changing captor/boyfriend goes unresponsive- he's just updating his OS. FYI dick recalibration requires two-factor authentication- Seek a cyborg technician if updates last longer than 4 hours... or haul him over to Best Buy.

Emily read this, so we all wouldn't have to. Respect. This battle station was NOT operational.

Careful: Pet-humans will eat your body after you die, so beware of choking on lug-nuts alone in your berth. Tauntauns  were harmed in the making of this episode, they'll see you in hell. The Godfather book made some surprising choices about genitalia. News flash- the V is elastic, just saying. 
Coming soon:  Pillows
Safeword: Garden (10/10 would tree)
Question: If a dog gets wet on a calculous test, does anyone really know?

Join us for AJ Truman's Barkeep and the Bro, an HEA (Happily Ever After) M/M romance novel featuring an age gap,  self-discovery, a zucchini that *opens a lot of doors* and quite the Bear on Frat Bro action! Talks of college, finance, and the economy are worth it, we promise!
Are you looking for people just living their lives, and learning their way without all the /panic/? We were too, and this is where we found it.

Come with us, we're going on an adventuuureee Chaarrrlliieee- it's candy mountain, Charlie; name: Mitch.

Moral of the Story: When a bunk deal goes bad, bunk up with a Bear baby!

Safe word: Mai Thais

Triggers: Dirty fraternity house bathrooms, the realities of partying too hard (vomit), and truths about fending off creeps!

Welcome to a magical world that is not Hoth, where alien dicks fit into human vaginas and alien consonants fit into human ears. It’s Ice Planet Barbarians, a book that we had a lot of thoughts and feelings about. We’ve got good blue bois, third nipples, linguistic rants, and a whole-ass tangent about the Oregon Trail! It’s a timeless tale of a space idiot who meets a lorge alien sex toy (who respects her), climbs him like a mountain, and ends up barefoot and pregnant on an ice planet. We’re full of rage, but you could also say this book ~resonated~ with us. 

PS From Emily: English isn’t a Romance language—it’s a Germanic language that borrows heavily from Romance languages. But who among us hasn’t gotten so distracted by the logistics of alien babies that they forgot everything they learned in grad school?

Trigger warning for alien gang rape 😨 and just a lot of grossness and trauma in the first chapter. 

#bluealiendick #georgiemountain #linguisticdeusexmachina #spacecheetos #youdiedofdysentary #cupcakeforyourbrain 

Time for a jaunt into the fraught world of Greek Dickthology (or do I mean mythology?) with Katee Robert's second Wicked Villains book Learn My Lesson.  Our new favorite thruple! The mythology lessons are as real as the struggle of talking about the Greek Pantheon right on the heels of Roe v. Wade being overturned. We can all agree that no one wants a swan coming after you with its dick out. Luckily we have the best Hercules of them all popping off these pages to make it all better. It's flight or fuck for our sweet himbo at the Underworld with Megaera and Hades. Let's put the peg in pegging, and and dodge the golden showers of regression! Herc, you #sweetpotatopie, leave the apron on, because you are in for the ride of a lifetime!

Safeword: Cerberus
Spoilers: Neon Gods by Katee Robert
Tags: M/F/M, BDSM, Anal, Pegging, Caning, Collaring, Exhibition, Finding your people
Triggers: Fellatio as a powerless act, Mythology discussions (read: rape, dehumanizing, toxic relationships), Politics- when recorded they had just overturned Roe v. Wade in the US

Thanks be unto Joey W. Hill for this literary marvel, because it truly failed at being #actualgarbage.  'Tis a poetic journey of cis-boy butt fuckery, unapologetic femdom, the most realistic unrealistic male romantic lead, and just so, so, so much more. There is no time to explain it all- you need to collect your pointiest pumps- it's time for our first vampiric dinner party! Be sure to mind the Vampires while you're #keeping up appearances.
Dig in as we fill out the track list on our debut album, Carnal Caravan, and ask burning questions, such as- Bro, do you even hose? But ew David, our Moira impressions need work, we own that.

Come! For the night is dark and full of terrors... that one would not want to miss!

M/F Romance
Safeword: Canapes
Warnings: Anal, Monster sex, orgies, orgasm on command, blood, forest sex, sweet baby vampires named Brian, a ripped shirtless renaissance vagabond playing with your dogs.

This week, strap on your chunkiest heels and slip into your most embellished jeans, as we join Lyssa and Jacob at the mall! There are tragic backstories. There’s cum on a kitten crop top. There’s the sleaziest villain to ever sleaze. There are dissolute French cats that might also be Russian. Emily learns that we all, do, in fact float down here, and Morgan gets inspiration for a new centerpiece. We may have 99 problems, but this book isn’t one!

The soundtrack for this episode was provided by Camberous Cock, the hottest, most throbbing band that you’ve probably never heard of. 

#psychicblowjob #competenceporn #thornybutthole #tablesettings #fountainsex #hottopic #vampirepheromones #whydomyhandsfeelviscous 

Content warnings for sexual assault (referenced—we don’t read the passage on the show), vampire-related blood and gore