Ritual Recipes

She's a woman of "a certain age." Our culture thinks those words are better than saying "she's old." Well, I'm a woman of a certain age. I'm certain of who I am, certain of what I want, and certain of what I have to offer the world. I'm 72 and I'm a Crone. I claimed that title in a ritual called "Croning." 

A croning can never be like a surprise birthday party or a married-at-first-sight reality show. When a woman decides to claim the title of Crone, she needs to prepare herself. Doing so could take a full year, or more. 

There are many kinds of croning rituals. The one I created is detailed in this episode.  

Mentioned in this episode:

Deeply Into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage by Ronald L. Grimes

Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, by Jean Shinoda Bolen , MD

The Grandmothers, an oracle deck, by Megan Garcia

At 9 years old, I didn't care that my mother wasn't funny like Lucille Ball, or that she didn't wear circle skirts and twirl around the house like Loretta Young, or that she was no longer pretty like Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke. I wanted my mother to be brave, like Annie Oakley. Not long after Rosa Parks sat on that bus in Montgomery, Alabama, in the whites-only section, I found out how brave my mother really was...and that Black Lives Matter. 

This episode contains a simple ritual I call "Colored." Done with a group, the ritual can open the door to conversations about race. 

Mentioned in the episode: 

The 10 must-watch documentaries about Civil Rights, compiled by PBS.  

Speak up! Use this link to contact your state legislators. 

Do you believe in fairies? I do, but not in the way you might expect. My childhood ideas have changed. Now I think of fairies as thought forms of good energy -- helpful spirits, invisible, accessible.

Hear about Ho Hsien Ku, "the immortal woman," one of the 8 fairies in the Chinese legend.

Learn how to invite the fairies into your world, how to connect, what to offer. And, most of all, how to see them in the mirror. 

Mentioned: "Spirits of the Earth: A Guide to Native American Nature Symbols, Stories and Ceremonies" by Bobby Lake-Thom, Medicine Grizzly Bear

Mentioned:  "Enchantment of the Faerie Realm: Communicate with Nature Spirits & Elementals" by Ted Andrews

Long ago, when sailors navigated by the stars, when seabirds carried the spirits of sailors lost at sea, and when everyone knew that the bust of a naked woman on the bow of a ship would calm rough waters, a sailor would carry a cord with three knots. Bound in each was the wind itself. 

Inspired by the ancient lore of knots, I created the ritual "Love Knots" using the arbor knot, the lovers' knot, and the Celtic marriage knot, with possible additions of the double fisherman's knot, and the sailor's breastplate knot. The ritual can easily be adapted for two people entering a partnership of any kind.  

See the website RitualRecipes.net for a picture of the three knots used in the wedding ceremony.

For couples who have had to postpone their wedding, please read the blog post by my Life-Cycle Celebrant colleague Karla Combres about how and why to mark your original wedding date with ritual. You can find it at The Celebrant Foundation and Institute's blog.

The power of this ritual comes from exploring the past, getting to know your ancestors and what they might have survived -- plagues, natural disasters, persecutions, wars, genocide. Whether or not you know who is on your family tree, they existed. You're the living proof. What do they have to tell you about facing fear, seeing the truth, finding courage, and helping others? 

Build an ancestor altar and honor your heritage. Don't know anything about your ancestors? Do what the ancient Greeks and Romans did and build a wind tomb. 

Why was the death toll in the Spanish Flu of 1918 so high? Why were the details not shared with the public? Why were Black doctors and nurses so key to the survival rates of Americans not serving in WWI?

Zita Christian interviews retired Connecticut state senator and history professor Mary Ann Handley about the Spanish Flu of 1918. The interview originally aired in May 2018 on episode 123 of Page 1. Find it on  YouTube.com/zitatvnetwork. The interview was to help writers determine character, setting, plot, and conflict from an actual historical event.  

All over the world, the presence of a key indicates there's something to protect. When you love someone, you trust them with a metaphorical key to your heart. Based on this understanding, I created a ritual called "The Key to My Heart." 

As part of a wedding ceremony, this ritual acknowledges how the couple was influenced by their parents and grandparents. The ritual offers an opportunity for the parents to be involved in the ceremony. 

The ritual can also be used in the couple's "first look," as well as in anniversary celebrations to come. 

The ritual is particularly useful for anyone going on a journey of self-discovery. 

Every Maiden isn't young. Every Mother doesn't have a child. Every Crone isn't old. What distinguishes the three is not age, but energy. 

Let me show you how the three faces of the Goddess can be used in a group ritual for your Moon Circle, or as a ritual you can do by yourself. If you don't have white quartz crystals for the Maiden, red garnets for the Mother, and black obsidian for the Crone, no worries. Use white-yogurt-covered raisins, dried cherries, and regular raisins. 

Imagine yourself in the click-your-heels scene near the end of The Wizard of Oz movie. Discover the inner power of your own ruby slippers, or ruby boots, or ruby stilettos.

Websites mentioned: WendyRule.com / JanPhillips.com / Writeyes.com / SusanTiberghien.com / JudithSearle.com / MarshaMcGregor.com / DiviningTheMuse.com

Etsy.com/shop/MoonRiverRituals

Long before organized religion, people found meaning in the stars. People saw the night sky as a canopy with four corners watched over by four bright stars: Aldebaran, Regulus, Antares, and Fomalhaut. In time, those watchers became royal stars, and those stars became archangels: Michael, Raphael, Uriel, and Gabriel. Ancient beliefs can show how we're all connected under the same sky -- a good foundation for an interfaith wedding ceremony. 

Trees shape the mythology of cultures all over the world. Trees show us where the fairies live. Just as the forest is the place where untried heroes are transformed, we, too, can be both lost and found among the trees. That's because trees have messages for us, if we'll just listen.

I offered 14 of those messages to those who attended this year's Winter Solstice ritual.  Which one of these trees calls to you: Alder, Apple, Ash, Birch, White Birch, Cherry, Elder, Hawthorn, Hazel, Hickory, Locust, Red Oak, White Oak?  Each message comes with an instruction. Are you ready to follow the wisdom of the trees? 

Mentioned in the episode: 

This Winter's Night, a CD by MotherTongue / Available at http://EarthSpirit.org 

Wise Trees, a book by Diane Cook and Len Jenshel / Available wherever books are sold.

The Game of Thrones Season 1 relationship between Khal Drogo and Daenerys Targaryen reveals the Venus-Mars energy in the wedding ritual of Circling. The ritual can also be used in a vow renewal celebration. Once you understand the power of the Moon, the Circling ritual isn't as patriarchal as it might seem.

When life feels anything but abundant, sometimes the smallest gesture can transform that feeling. That's a lesson I learned from my daughter when she was a teenager working at a candy counter. 

She wasn't the only employee selling gourmet jelly beans that day. I watched as customers politely declined to purchase from the other woman and, instead, waited for my daughter. Why? Because the way my daughter scooped the candy affirmed the worth of both the beans and the buyer.  

A pregnant bride in her early thirties didn't want to carry a bouquet and asked me if she had to. I assured her there were no requirements that she carry flowers. I also explained why she might want to reconsider her decision. 

In August of 2008, I was one of six women gathered on Cape Cod, laptops in tow, to work on a manuscript begun by our friend Liz Aleshire. At the time, Liz was in the cardiac ICU unit of Hartford Hospital.

Liz was a multipublished author. This latest book was to be a tribute to her son who had died 12 years earlier of bone cancer. He was 16 at the time. The book's title? 101 Ways You Can Help: How to Offer Comfort and Support to Those Who Are Grieving. 

Earlier that year, Liz had signed a contract and accepted an advance from a publisher, Sourcebooks. After receiving a one-month extension to the original June 30 deadline, Liz's condition deteriorated even further. That's when six of her friends stepped in. What happened next includes an unusual arrangement with Sourcebooks. 

That day in August, I led the six of us in two rituals. One to help our dying friend let go of the pain she had known in this life, and one for each of us to honor her many gifts.

Letting go and holding on -- that's what this episode is all about.    

For years, "Grandmother Mechi" Garza had been channeling a spirit entity named Lothar. In her dreams, he dictated 12 volumes of information and a type of healing called "Kolamni." He said the knowledge would save our world from the destruction of his world, Atlantis. He told her to tell her story to Zita. At the time, Mechi and I didn't know each other.  

I met Mechi in the registration line at the annual conference of the International Women's Writing Guild in the summer of 1996. I was teaching a class on genre fiction. She was teaching a class on finding the medicine woman in every writer. By the end of the week, we knew we would be friends. She called it destiny.

Four years later, Mechi invited me to attend one of the most significant events in her life and, as it turned out, in mine. She was to be officially installed as a Medicine Woman in the Choctaw-Cherokee tribe. A Pueblo Medicine Man named Little Elk (Art Tequaesche) would anoint her. Doing so would fulfill a childhood premonition. Destiny. 

The two-day ceremony was held in a meadow near the top of a mountain in West Virginia. People came from all over the country to witness the event. I came to observe, until Mechi asked me to be part of the ritual itself. I said yes and that's when I felt the hand of destiny. 

Twelve years after we met, Mechi and I were in ritual again. It was the closing ceremony for the writers' conference. Four hundred women had come from all over the world to share their voices. This time, I officiated. This time, Mechi was in a wheelchair. 

Mechi Garza died in 2017. In the social media world, we speak of influencers. Grandmother Mechi is one of mine. 

It was 2005. I was in New Hampshire, in the woods, with a small group of men and women who had come to study astrology and Goddess spirituality. One of the men, Dan Graham, commented on the red sweater I was wearing. He was totally blind. 

That simple comment opened a discussion about how he could see color vibrations and how he could hear the subtle nuance of a smile or clenched jaw. Then he told me about this new thing called a podcast and how it had opened a new world for him. At the time, I couldn't grasp the concept of an ordinary person like me being able to communicate from my desk to the world. He assured me that not only would I grasp the concept, I'd be good at it.  

I didn't launch Ritual Recipes until February 2018. Dan died several years ago. Now, whenever I sit down to record a podcast episode, I put on my headphones, turn on the mic, close my eyes for a few seconds, and give a good thought to Dan.   

The dark half of the year is fertile ground for fears. In this year's Samhain ritual, I incorporated a map of fears, a community fire, animal spirit guides, and the energies of the Maiden, Mother, and Crone. 

Mentioned in the episode is the oracle deck "The Illustrated Bestiary" by Maia Toll, a beautiful, powerful, and poetic tool.  

Can't have everyone you want in your wedding party? Don't give those special people boring tasks! Give them a meaningful role in your ceremony. How? With a creative wedding ritual. 

Here are 3 of my "gift-giving" rituals. One involves bamboo and is based on the couple's love of Giant Pandas. One uses lifelike, laser-cut moths. One was inspired by the groom's profession as a pastry chef. That ritual is based on the mythological properties of flours. 

See episodes 5, 6, and 10 for other gift-giving wedding rituals. 

Not planning a wedding? These rituals can easily be adapted for birthdays, retirement parties, and other occasions.  

The ritual described in this episode honors the harmony between the Sun and Moon. Too much heat, crops burn. Too much rain, crops drown.  Like crops, our personal wellbeing depends on our ability to balance work and rest. Seeing the cycle of light and dark play out between the Winter and Summer Solstices can help us harness our own energy and live a relevant life.

The Celtic festival of Beltane, celebrated on or about May 1, is associated with fertility, flowers, fairies, the Hawthorn tree.

From the Hawthorn, we get the story of Bloddeuwedd, a woman created from nine plants and trees by two magicians who wanted to make the perfect bride for a young man. All went well for a while, until Bloddeuwedd met another man and fell in love. What follows is a story about death, transformation, and the power of a woman’s authentic self.

Books mentioned in the podcast: The White Goddess by Robert Graves; A Compendium of Herbal Magick by Paul Beyerl; A Modern Herbal by Mrs. M. Grieve; Voice of the Trees by Mickie Mueller; Midsummer: Magical Celebrations of the Summer Solstice by Anna Franklin