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    Say The Things

    Are you giving all of your energy to those around you, leaving you feeling empty, disconnected, and resentful, craving connection beyond the four walls of your home? Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts? Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it? Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen relationship, connectivity while honoring your uniqueness.
    enNicole Hagman118 Episodes

    Episodes (118)

    119: Hide Behind the Lie? Authenticity matters

    119: Hide Behind the Lie? Authenticity matters

    In this podcast, I discuss an Instagram post of a teen's "white lies" t-shirt which leads me to question why we hide behind untruths rather than sharing what's genuinely happening in our lives; I challenge listeners to have more truthful conversations instead of superficial ones riddled with "smoke and mirrors," encouraging them to openly share when they're scared, excited, etc. I tell a story about pretending to be deaf when pulled over, questioning why we hide behind lies versus lead with the truth. I describe the anxiety I felt during my husband's medical test, relatable for most people facing difficulties. Ultimately, I urge listeners next time they talk to someone to choose truth over lies - we are worthy of being truly seen, heard and understood.

    118: Crocodiles in Conversation: Cultivating Trust

    118: Crocodiles in Conversation: Cultivating Trust

    This podcast discusses the characteristics of trustworthy people, like authenticity, consistency, integrity, humility, compassion, and resourcefulness. I share my personal struggles with trusting others after being lied to in a past relationship. I challenge listeners to evaluate their own trustworthiness by asking if they are authentic, show up for others, act with integrity and kindness, connect people, and allow others to shine. Exposing our soft underbellies makes us feel vulnerable but is necessary for meaningful relationships.

    117: Don’t Take It Personally: Growth Mindset Over Defensiveness

    117: Don’t Take It Personally: Growth Mindset Over Defensiveness

    In this episode, I share tactics for taking things less personally when criticized. I discuss a few tactics like releasing control of others’ opinions, knowing your worth, not staking self-worth on outcomes and more. Caring deeply about our work while finding wisdom to detach from ego allows for growth. Seeing feedback as fuel for improvement rather than indictments on our character can help in responding versus reacting.  This episode concludes a two-part series. 

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    116: Why We Take Things Personally

    116: Why We Take Things Personally

    In this episode, I explore reasons why people tend to take things personally when they may not actually be personal. I cover using negative self-talk as motivation, being a social perfectionist, and other traits you or others you know experience. Understanding these tendencies can help us manage our reactions better when criticized. This is part 1 of a 2 part series, next week will be tips and tricks on how to stop taking things personally.

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    115: Is Love Enough? The Valentine's Relationship Check-In

    115: Is Love Enough? The Valentine's Relationship Check-In

    In this episode, I explore whether love alone is enough to sustain a healthy relationship over time. I discuss how respect, trust, communication, compatibility, and other factors are also critical. I suggest using Valentine's Day or February as an opportunity to check in with your partner about what matters more than love in your relationship. I offer sample questions to ask each other and reflect on. Reconnecting in this way can strengthen understanding, intimacy, and partnership.

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/

    https://www.meetmindful.com/is-love-all-we-really-need/

    114: The Power of Presence: Tuning In to Your Partner

    114: The Power of Presence: Tuning In to Your Partner

    In this episode, I discuss how a lack of presence can destroy relationships even more than problems can. I explain what presence means—being fully engaged in the moment with your partner without distractions. I share tips for cultivating more presence such as meditation, setting boundaries, scheduling quality time, showing gratitude, and preparing mentally. More presence facilitates better communication, connection, and intimacy. I encourage listeners to reflect on how they can be more present with their partners.

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    https://www.instagram.com/p/C1zTaXUOuqC/

     

    113: Toxic Silence: How Unhealthy Quiet Can Damage Relationships

    113: Toxic Silence: How Unhealthy Quiet Can Damage Relationships

    In this episode, I discuss the different types of unhealthy or "toxic" silences that can occur in relationships. These include avoidance silence, withholding information, the silent treatment, contemptuous silence and more. I explain how each of these silences can manipulate, punish, or exert control rather than facilitate open communication. I emphasize the importance of recognizing unhealthy communication patterns and calling them out in a constructive way so that we can improve understanding and strengthen relationships.

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    112: Can Silence Connect?

    112: Can Silence Connect?

    In this week’s episode, I discuss intentional ways to use silence in conversations to nurture intimacy and togetherness with loved ones.  Healthy silence in communication includes quiet pauses for processing emotions, considering thoughtful responses, and self-awareness growth. I also discuss cautions of using silence and sensitivity to individual’s comfort levels and careful clarification when silence is misinterpreted. Tune in and discover areas of your relationships where intentional silence can enhance connection.  

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    https://www.orfieldlabs.com/tours

     

    111: Cultivating Inner Peace in Conversations to Transform Relationships

    111: Cultivating Inner Peace in Conversations to Transform Relationships

    In today's episode, I connect the challenges of nurturing inner peace and its influence on my communication. We delve into the profound effects that inner peace can bring to our conversations and relationships. Exploring the automatic fear response in conversations, we discuss the nuances of physiological changes and disruptions in communication and ways to retrain our brain to achieve inner peace in familiar conversations.  

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    110: The Art of Inner Peace: Strategies for Inner Calm

    110: The Art of Inner Peace: Strategies for Inner Calm

    Listen for insight as I dicuss my personal journey through the chaos of the holiday season, examining the impact of negative bias on thoughts and actions. The episode includes practical steps for diffusing negativity, including acknowledging biases, altering self-talk, and reframing situations. We then explore the deeper meaning of inner peace, distinguishing it from happiness whiile discussing strategies such as meditation, self-love, and gratitude. The episide wraps up by encouragement to identify your sources of peace and embrace tranquility amid life's challenges.

    109: The Rat Park: The Addiction Antidote

    109: The Rat Park: The Addiction Antidote

    As we wrap up 2023, join me in reflecting on the profound impact of connections in our lives. Inspired by a powerful analogy about rats in cages, we explore the root of addiction—our environment. Dive into the world of "Rat Park" and discover the transformative power of meaningful relationships. From the challenges of parenting in a tech-savvy age to the societal shift towards isolation, we discuss the importance of fostering connections in our lives. Let's build our own Rat Park and combat addiction with genuine, fulfilling relationships.

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    108: The Power of New Beginnings: The Fresh Start Effect

    108: The Power of New Beginnings: The Fresh Start Effect

    Today, we explore the incredible phenomenon of the Fresh Start Effect—a psychological reset that occurs when we associate a specific point in time with a new beginning. From daily positive mindset kickstarts to annual reflections, we'll discuss practical ways to implement this powerful tool in both small and significant aspects of our lives. Join me on this journey of embracing the joy of starting anew and making every moment an opportunity for a fresh start.

    Links:

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle

    https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-1

    https://www.anthonyoneal.com

     

    107: Navigating Gender Dynamics in Assertive Communication

    107: Navigating Gender Dynamics in Assertive Communication

    Join me as we revisit assertive communication, this time exploring the intriguing interplay between gender and communication styles. Drawing from Debra Tannen's research, we uncover the nuances that shape how men and women express themselves. Learn to overcome objections, navigate double standards, and embrace assertive responses that foster understanding and growth.

    106: Assertive Communication: Practical Tips for Everyday Communication

    106: Assertive Communication: Practical Tips for Everyday Communication
     

    Welcome to another episode exploring assertive communication. Today we discuss practical strategies for enhancing assertiveness, starting with self-reflection to understand our default communication style. Active listening becomes a crucial skill as we learn to decode language, tone, and nonverbal cues, distinguishing assertiveness from aggression. The benefits of assertive communication, such as fostering understanding, resolving conflicts, and building healthier relationships, are uncovered. As we wrap up, remember that assertiveness is a powerful tool for clear, kind, and respectful communication, essential for strengthening connections in our lives. 

     

    105: Assertive Communication: Discover Your Communication Superpower

    105: Assertive Communication: Discover Your Communication Superpower

    Today we begin our two-part exploration into the empowering world of assertive communication. Discover how to express your thoughts, set boundaries, and strengthen your relationships and harness healthy assertive superpowers. 

    Episode links and quotes:

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    “Being assertive require honest self-disclosure.  Assertive people communicate honestly and directly; they express feelings, needs and ideas and stand up for their rights, but do so in ways that don’t violate the rights and needs of others.  They are authentic, congruent, open and direct.  They are capable of acting in their own behalf; they take the initiative to meet their needs.  They ask for information and for the assistance of others when they need it.” ~ Linda Adams

     

     

    104: The Art of Letting Go: Navigating Forgiveness

    104: The Art of Letting Go: Navigating Forgiveness

    In this episode, we discuss the profound impact of forgiveness on our emotional well-being and growth. Reflecting on the complexities of the forgiveness process, we examine the importance of shifting perspectives, practicing self-compassion, and releasing the burdens of grudges. Join us as we navigate the transformative journey of self-discovery and resilience, offering insights into the power of empathy, acceptance, and setting healthy boundaries for emotional freedom.

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    103: Holiday Ease Please: Bring Ease into the Season

    103: Holiday Ease Please: Bring Ease into the Season

    In this episode, we open the door to the art of embracing ease this holiday season. Discussing the significance of setting realistic expectations and the power of prioritizing self-care, we uncover practical strategies for simplifying traditions and creating meaningful moments with loved ones. Emphasizing the value of mindfulness and the importance of setting boundaries, we explore the impact of gratitude in fostering a sense of joy and connection during this festive time. Listen to discovering how to infuse ease into your holidays.

    101: The Four Horsemen of the Conflict Apocalypse: Which Horse Do You Ride?

    101: The Four Horsemen of the Conflict Apocalypse: Which Horse Do You Ride?

    Today, we're taking a cue from relationship guru John Gottman, exploring the Four Horsemen of the Communication Apocalypse - Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. These toxic communication patterns can wreak havoc on even the strongest relationships, leading to emotional disconnect and lasting damage. Remember, conflicts aren't about winning or losing, but rather nurturing love and connection. So, let's strive to communicate with empathy, seeking common ground and understanding.  Listen in and determine which horse you ride and phrases to use to restore health to conflict. 

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

     

    100: A Glimpse into My Life

    100: A Glimpse into My Life

    In this special 100th episode, you are invited to an intimate glimpse into my life, sharing personal reflections on the delicate balance between comfort and growth. I share  challenges of managing physical and emoational parts of life, marriage and parenting. We end with musings on finding equilibrium and stability amidst life's uncertainties, this episode is a gentle reminder of the intricate connection of human experiences and emotions.

    Connect with me on IG

    https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

    If you've not heard Emily P. Freeman "The Next Right Thing"

    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-next-right-thing/id1268826768