Simply Enough

When in conversations or in meetings, do you ever start with "I could be wrong, but" or "Sorry but can I" or "Just wanted to"? We certainly have! Why do we feel the need to lead with apologizing, disclaiming, or discrediting ourselves? Is taking the one-down position to make others feel one-up at our own expense? Diminishing ourselves in front of others isn't self-protection; it's self-sabotage. We can be mindful of our Enoughness and make sure our words reflect that. How we explain ourselves externally is messaging for how we weel internally. Serve the world and serve yourself by not making yourself small. Because you are more than "just" enough, exactly as you are. Period.

Have you ever felt lonely while alone, or in a crowd. or even in a relationship? Can you lift yourself out of those feelings? Consider that the Universe has your back. Faith in something Greater can uplift you and even carry you. Plainly name and call out the feelings of being lonely, without shame, because they're universal feelings. Then welcome and receive invitations and moments when others reach out, and recognize when "little birdies" show up for us. We also have the ability to do that for others as divine extensions and instruments. Let's be open to the idea that we're all connected, because things can happen to us, and also through us and from us, so we really are never alone.

Have you ever wondered "Am I the a-hole" in this situation? Or watered-down a message, or even muted yourself, fearing being perceived as an a-hole? Accountability and self-reflection are important, but standing firm in one's convictions is equally important, depending on the scenario, and depending on the audience. Communication, connection. or mere civil discourse doesn't necessarily mean mutual agreement, and that's ok.  A person can give you their interpretation of you, and it's in your power to take it or not. A clear message delivered with composure and empathy is what you control, while another person's reception of it isn't under your control. You can be like teflon, and deflect weaponized labels and insults hurled your way, with a strong centered Self, because you are enough, just as you are.

What do you mean when you say "it's just my luck..."? Do you believe the Universe has got your back, and conspires to help you? Not everything in life is earned, deserved, or based on merit. There are things in your life that you have nothing to do with, and are out of your control. Can you recall unexplained circumstances in life where the open windows were even better than the closed doors you were banging on? In taking a Blessings Inventory, recognition of unmerited favor can take you beyond gratitude into a sense of awe. When we can become aware that not everything comes from effort, and surrender to something completely external and Greater than our human do-ing, when there is no explanation or algorithm-- that is when we can abundantly receive Grace bestowed on us, and the double blessing of the acute awareness of those gifts in our lives.

Do you feel like you haven't yet done anything worthy of applause? We all can applaud momentous occasions, but you can also applaud even the stumbles and falls, learning grace and levity along the way. Applause can turn a moment around for laughter and light and joy. Look for more opportunities to applause, celebrating effort as much as outcome. And don't forget to buoy yourself with applause if others are putting you down or drowning you out. Humility doesn't always have to mean deference. Own your journey, own your effort, and own your accomplishments. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance.  Even while being humble and grateful, recognize what you bring to the table and affirm your sense of self-worth, because you are enough and worthy of applause, just as you are.

Have you ever felt out of place or out of touch, compared to the majority? When it comes to what's popular, have you ever thought "What? I don't get it?" And that's ok – Give yourself permission to be Your Self! You do you, and then decide who you invite into your experience. If something's not even on your radar, then there is no FOMO.  In fact, instead of the fear of missing out, there's the joy of figuring out for yourself! Somebody else telling us what is worthy or what is valuable removes us from making the decision for ourselves. Buck the trend and stand out from the crowd, because you are enough, just as you are. Period.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, or feel like Life just passes you by, because you're "soooo busy"? Do you feel under pressure to always have a plan, a goal, a task, or a full calendar? We can give ourselves permission to push back at the belief of having a list of actions that substantiates or validates an experience to make it worthwhile. We can be intentional about doing nothing, and honor when we're in need of restoration and a respite. Satisfaction doesn't just come from crossing off our To Do list. Sometimes what needs to be done is to be still and do nothing. And that's ok.

Did you know there's a difference between pleasure and enjoyment? In the pursuit of "happier-ness", shared experiences move the needle beyond pleasure to true enjoyment! Communal moments create memories, which can transport you back, and become gifts that keep on giving. Shared joy heightens exponentially the moment being experienced, and can be the Great Equalizer.  Shared experiences break down walls, where we see each other as humans, not as labels, and can be the salve to the wound of being Other-ed. Life is not made to live alone. Life is meant to be lived, and meant to be shared.

Did you know the key to happiness is living in alignment with your priorities and values? When we don't make choices aligned with our chosen, self-professed priorities and values, that's how we create discord and unhealthy dis-ease internally.  And externally, intent and impact are both important yet aren't always the same, and can cause confusion at best, or harm at its worst. Being mindful of how we spend our time and how we spend our mind matter. Having clarity and knowing our priorities helps filter distracting noise around attaining goals, to live mindfully aligned with our values.

Are you always insistent on The Best, and nothing less will do? How does that serve you, and is it even healthy? Sometimes, you can use your time better than constantly searching for Best or Perfect.  It's amazing what we miss out on, when we worry about what we're missing.  In search of the Best, you can miss right where you are and miss experiencing what you have now. 

In pursuit of some ambiguous "better", it's hard to enjoy and savor what's in front of you, too busy measuring up rather than simply experiencing. Critiquing something so much can even destroy the value of it, and self-prophesy disappointment. Instead, we can adopt the mindset of seeing what was gained rather than what fell short. The goalposts of Best often keep moving, so we might as well make room for Good Enough, and even change the definition and parameters of "enoughness", to find joy in life as is.

How do you approach the new year? What's your mindset and which emotions dominate? A new start doesn't have to only be every 365 days! Like a student in school, you can break up the year into quarters, seasons, or monthly rotations. Or even approach each individual new day as a fresh start. Life doesn't have to be merely routinized and habitual. And remember too- new year's resolutions and goals don't just have to be about physical health. Prioritize emotional, mental and spiritual health as well. You can shed the weight of other people's opinions, and even shed the weight of self-sabotage and self-limiting beliefs. New beginnings and fresh starts, whenever you choose them to be, can be opportunities to rest and take a break, or uplevel, reinvent and rediscover yourself!

Do you set resolutions for the new year, but soon abandon them? Consider being objective-driven rather than goal-oriented, to set yourself in the right direction.  An objective is about limitless opportunity and possibility, whereas a goal is finite and concrete, as if a zero-sum game. An objective is a beacon beyond you that is calling you, and goals are the microscopic steps aiming forward. Missteps in the direction of an objective doesn’t mean halting or abandoning the journey. Celebrate the successes along the way and encourage the developing identity in the direction of transformation, resolving not just what you do, but more so who you want to be, and how you want to show up in the world. 

What do you believe? What is a miracle and magic to you? To explain it is unnecessary. If we can suspend our disbelief and put away the need to be cynical or right, magic and miracles can happen. We can be witness to them,and also be agents of them. t’s not always the grandiose and the magnificent - They are everyday happenings, around us and in us. Miracles can be in the ability to find the Divine in humanity and the Divine within ourselves. Don’t miss the message of the miracle. Sit with awe and wonder; right where you are. You are enough, because you are a miracle, just as you are.  Period. 

Have you ever felt like you were on a different wavelength from everybody else? That’s okay! Get in tune with what resonates with you.  Connect with what moves your spirit and stirs your passion! Recognize it’s not about performance or judgment, and allow that others may be attuned to different things. Let your soul reverberate and resound at the highest frequency and ring true with your best, most authentic self!

Have you ever felt pressure to give the Perfect Gift? Or thought a gift you received was lacking? But there are Gifts in everything, all around us.  The value of a gift is not about “the thing” It’s about the thought and intent from the giver.  The price paid for a gift isn’t always monetary, but instead could  be time, talent or sincere thought.   From baguettes to body wash, it’s not the physical gift but the intangible sentiment that is of priceless value.  Rather than being caught up in the checklist of gift giving, look away from the object and instead see the connection between the giver and receiver as the gift that keeps on giving.

How do the holidays make you feel? Do you aim for a Hallmark romanticized tableau, or embrace the messy, funny imperfections? A change of expectations and perspective can change the experience, embracing not just the nostalgia, but the creation of new memories too!  The holidays come from your Light within, rather than external. Let go of activities on an idealized to-do list, to experience and extend the simple, distilled  reasons for the season— peace, love, joy, faith and hope, really and actually.

Have you ever felt the pressure, or the letdown, from wanting the holidays to be perfect? But the holidays can come alive more as feelings in one’s heart, rather than outer events.   Build upon the foundation of sentiments that make a holiday real.  The universal language of gratitude is contagious and life giving! Rather than one day on the calendar, live a life of Thanks-living, thinking of specific things from boogers to moo-cows, and the family you were given and the family you’ve chosen and gained. You won’t look at things the same way when you see life through the lens of gratitude. 

Have you ever been frustrated with traffic, or even have momentary road rage? Did you know your car can be a great classroom of life? Ironically, one can learn to find joy at the same time of feeling frustrated, because switching perspectives can change a situation and environment completely. With life lessons in traffic, we can remember that we can't control others, and practice not taking things personally, and develop the skill of evaluating what our reactions are and how they might affect outcome. We can learn to let things go and choose our own path by our priorities -- that faster isn't always better, and that different sometimes is just different; not right, wrong, better or worse. Even with detours, rumble strips and unfortunate accidents, you can follow the still small voice of your inner GPS, to have peace transcend rage, and be in the driver's seat of your life to enjoy the journey.

Have you ever reasoned or talked yourself out of something you really want? Cerebral thoughts in the head can explain away the pull of what's going on in the heart. But not everything has to be by-the-book, or have a rational purposeful "Because" as an answer to the "Why". Affirm when it's ok to the moved by the heart, and not just led by the head. Sometimes, that internal pull of "I want to" is a good enough reason to left go of resistance. The still small voice inside you can get louder, because it's actually You taking care of You, affirming you are simply enough, just as you are.

Have you ever felt like your life was just the same ol' routine? Do you wish there was something to give you that jolt of adrenaline rush and surge of energy? Being scared can be uncomfortable, but can also be exciting! Sometimes, our own internal need for control, safety and self-protection can hold us back and keep us from testing our sense of living and feeling fully alive. Rather than avoidance, you can approach and move towards what exhilarates you. Recognize what thrills you, and find ways to incorporate more of that in your life, because a life over-safe can be a life under-lived.