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    STOP FIGHTING WITH YOUR SON

    ...AND HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP!    End all fighting with your son today: go to these episodes first: 54-58! After you reconnect with your boy you can listen to other episodes to help you be more confident, love yourself more and improve other relationships.

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    Episodes (227)

    Drop it sooner

    Drop it sooner

    How long do you feel guilty and beat yourself up after a fight? in this episode I try to sell you on the idea that you should strive to drop the fight sooner in your head. 

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    Welcome to being a mom - here is some anger

    Welcome to being a mom - here is some anger

    You get to be pissed off.

    You get to be angry.

    You are not alone. 

    You are angry. Welcome too being a mom. 

    Part of this job includes being angry. Every mom gets angry. There is NOTHING wrong with you . You GET to be angry. 

    Be angry and get over it. Move on. 

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    Letting go

    Letting go

    Letting go is a skill and you can practice it in so many different ways, with your kids. I share my examples of where i let go with my kids in this episode.  
    Letting go can also be applied with husbands, siblings, parents, friends. Listen and think of how this applies to you.

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    Grey Thinking

    Grey Thinking

    Perfectionism. Black and white thinking.
    Find the grey area. You always win! 

    Being present in the moment - I simply won’t do it. Give up before begin. Don’t do it. Don’t notice all the grey area that is happening.

    Food with the kids - if is not the perfect combo of nutrition  it is a fail.  Frustrated, controlling, upset, not enjoying myself, fighting. 

    My weight if it is not a perfect weight I feel like it’s a failure and miss the 99 % successes.  Not giving any credit to all the times I take good care of myself by going to bed early, drinking, water, not eating sweets, eating salads, exercising, - missing out on all the goodness and feeling bad about myself for the2% that are missing the mark. 


    Find the grey area. You always win ! 



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    "You are useless"

    "You are useless"

    How you talk to yourself is how you talk to others. 
    So start with yourself. Today. when you have a nasty thought, decide on your answerYou have to start talking back to yourself when you say these nasty things to yourself.  
    "I am doing my best" is what i said back to myself and i am so very proud of that huge success.
    Sharing this example with you is a way I can encourage you too do the same. 

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    If you want to start a podcast

    If you want to start a podcast

    Then you should imminently.
    In this episode i share the biggest benefit i have received from creating a podcast and all the side benefits.
    You will learn what skill is required to create each episode. 
    The beliefs that go into creating my podcast and why i do it.
    You will learn why I started creating this podcast.

    The Life Coach School Podcast is the podcast that changed my life forever, thanks to Brooke Castillo, i will forever be greateful too her. You should for sure check it out.

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    Clothes audition for your body

    Clothes audition for your body

    When you shop you are trying on clothes and if they don't fit you don't buy them.  
    do the same at home - if they don't work for your body - good bye.

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    Feelings Perfectionism

    Feelings Perfectionism

    "I have to feel like it to work out"
    "I should enjoy being with my kids to be a good mom"
    "I should always love my husband"
    "I should always want to go on a girls trip with my friends"
    etc.
    You get the point, expecting to feel a certain perfect way to do something or to be someone. Stop it. 

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    "He's disrespectful, ungrateful and entitled."

    "He's disrespectful, ungrateful and entitled."

    From pissed off and fighting to focused, calm, certain and understanding, all in one sentence, one thought, one powerful shift that is all here for you.

    From fighting and being mean to connecting, loving, guiding and supportive.

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    Microwave on the front steps

    Microwave on the front steps

    This little episode is a reminder of how we always have a choice in how we react.  I reacted well in my opinion in this situation but i don't always do that.  Simply remembering that I CAN react this way is going to help you and feel GOOD. = Happiness.
    The two books by Ajahn Brahm i mentioned here are these:
    Who ordered a truckload of dung? and 

    Don't Worry, Be Grumpy: Inspiring Stories for Making the Most of Each Moment


    Enjoy these books! great for bigger kids too. 

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    What I learned from Cesar Millan

    What I learned from Cesar Millan

    Watch me here on youtube! What I learned from Cesar Millan.

    That my energy matters when I’m with the boys. If I am indicisive they will feel it and be anxious if I have not given them direction or expectations. 

    I am their leader. Bad one, so so one, tired one, whatever one but I am still their leader so oi can step up to the task and just decide either way - It doesn’t matter what I decide, I just have to decide to lead.

    Exercise first then everything else.  Cesar teaches: exercise discipline affection
    He teaches that is the best way to take care of a dog is meet their needs. Those are their needs. But exercise first. So they are not anxious bored, pent up energy.  

    Well the exact same thing applies to us and how do I expect myself to feel good if I have not exercised. 

    Discipline - lovingly set boundaries. 

    Affection only afterwards those two. 

    Walking is exercise for the dog and the man. Confirmed my love for walking , mental benefits and physical. 

    The front of the pack, middle of the pack and back of the pack. 

    Front are leaders, aggressive, alpha males. Middle of the pack are happy go lucky energy, want to help and make everyone happy energy, happy to follow. 

    Back of the pack are a more sensitive bunch, scanning for danger, a little paranoid , not happy go lucky. They are the packs emergency alarm system.  Everyone has its job. 

    If the back of the pack has no leader their anxiety goes through the roof as they are scanning for danger and leading is not their strongest skill.,  hit makes them more anxious. 


    So knowing which part of the pack you belong tooo and your kids will help you accommodate them better. 

    For me I feel I am def more the back of the pack, more sensitive, more anxious, more alert and scanning for danger - but knowing this I am the adult and ii I can take charge of leading myself and my pack. Talking to myself, comforting, giving myself safety and care and direction that I need. 

    The same goes for the kids - some of he kids I know are back of the pack , generalizing here- so they need strong leadership, decisions made, no flailing,  - also leading to othe3rs addressing their questions, worries, needs.



    Being back of the pack - I would be overwhelmed by the amount of questions requests, people taking to me - and being overwhelmed and it kept coming would feel unsafe, threatened and bite back - feel attacked and feel aggressive back towards the kids. 

    I would not make decisions, I would run away from them, be mad at the kids for putting me ini this position . This would make things. Worse. Other kids would step up and be leaders, better leaders Than I am. Sometimes the sensitive kid would step up and be the leader and not a good one. Not fair one. Not kinds.



    Learning from my husband and middle child I have seen the calm and kind leadership and have been following my husbands lead with pleasure. 

    When he is around  we all happily follow, he is calm, decisive, kind and an unquestionable alpha leader in our 6 person pack. 

    We respectfully put requests up to him, ask him for advice. Being the wife of a leader def has its privileges- as he wants to make the wife happy. Too I simply ask for what ii want. 



    But seeing the diff between the e

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    'Having fun' IS A SKILL

    'Having fun' IS  A SKILL

    Say hi to me to youtube!
    I needed more 'fun' in my life and i made a list that i find fun in my life and it blew me away because the things that are fun are completetly independent of the things that i am doing.  It is all about what lens i put on when i'm doing them:
    - giving
    - problem solving
    - being efficient
    - creative
    - social

    If I am focusing on one of the above i am feelinig these:
    - satisfaction
    - achievement
    - caring about myself
    - abundant
    - not rushed
    - free
    -fun
    -interested
    - excited
    -present

    Having the FUN is a skill and needs to be practiced.

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    Intentional Focusing

    Intentional Focusing


    Feeling shitty no matter how much you are doing.

    No matter how much I do it’s not enough
    To stop not noticing all the things you are doing.

    It’s never ending. 

    I do one things and 10 more get added to my list. 

    Focusing better. 

    Feeling better.

    Instead of saying fav part of the day and worst part of the day, Say your 3 favourite things

    Focusing on all the things you have not done = feeling bad. 

    Intentional focusing - intentionally zooming IN on the specific things 

    Why to feel better



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    Fear behind anger

    Fear behind anger

    Understanding why you are angry will help you and this is how you do it. You ask yourself this one question, approach it form this angle to understand why you are angry.   

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    "No one else gets this angry at their kids"

    "No one else gets this angry at their kids"

    If you think you are the only one with this one big, bad problem, whatever it is then this episode is for you. 
    When you are believing you are the only one who yells at kids, drinks too much, eats too much or shops too much then you are shaming yourself and that just blocks any access to that problem and to yourself. 

    First you have to tell yourself the truth that you are not the only one and really believe it and then really understand that it is OKAY to do that or be that person.  From that allowing yourself to be that person you will have a way better chance of taking care of yourself and therefore eliminating that behaviour you don't want. 

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