Sucker Punched

Grief changes us. In many ways, we become a better version of ourselves. It doesn’t mean the loss we experienced was “good,” but it can be a really good teacher. How do we learn from our grief when it’s also one of the most painful experiences in life?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
DoorDash: BeckyLMcCoy.com/DoorDash
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

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Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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A friend has recently lost a loved one and you hate seeing the pain the grief is causing them. You want to love them and support them through this time, but you don’t want to overwhelm them. You want them to know you’re there, but you’re afraid of doing the wrong thing. How do you help a grieving friend?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
DoorDash: BeckyLMcCoy.com/DoorDash
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

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Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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You’ve experienced a great loss and it’s so overwhelming that you have to make life really small for a while, just to survive. What do you do when you disappear from life for long enough that you’re not sure if the people, places, and things you love most will be patient enough to wait for you?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Audible Premium Plus: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Audible

Here are a few books to help you feel less alone in your grief:
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zanier
Rebellious Mourning: The Collective Work of Grief edited by Cindy Milstein
The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald
How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed by Megan Devine
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Have you ever been so tired of grief? So ready for it to be ‘over’ or at the very least ready for a break? What do you do when you’re tired of grieving?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Audible Premium Plus: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Audible
Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo
Harry’s Trees by Jon Coehn
Joy for Beginners by Erica Bauermeister
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I’m Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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You’ve experienced a great loss and have been deep in the thick of the grief fog. You’ve been just surviving until now but you’ve got to get back on top of the things you’ve neglected. But how do you grieve when you have work to get done and relationships to tend to? Where does grief fit into regular life?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Audible Premium Plus: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Audible
Dusk Night Dawn by Anne Lamott
The Comfort Book by Matt Haig
Grief One Day at a Time: 365 Meditations to Help You Heal After Loss by Dr. Alan Wolfelt
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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One of the most awkward and painful parts of grieving, one of those sneaky little things no one warns you about, is that you lose yourself to the grief. It’s as if parts of you died, too. You forget your strengths, your passions, and the things that used to bring you joy. And as you start to come out of the fog of the initial grief storm, you realize you have to rediscover who you were and decide who you’ll be.

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Atlas Tea Club: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Atlas
StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Gallup
You are Your Best Thing by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown
The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman
You Owe You by Eric Thomas PhD
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I’m Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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When you’ve experienced a great loss, it takes some time to get back on your feet again. You’re not the same as before the loss, but you’re doing your best. And then, seemingly, from out of nowhere, a grief trigger runs you over, leaving you feeling like you’re back at square one.

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Atlas Tea Club: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Atlas
The Cure for Sorrow by Jan Richardson
Your Grief, Your Way: A Year of Practical Guidance and Comfort After Loss by Shelby Forsythia
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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When you’ve experienced a great loss, you know that life will never be the same. You don’t want to be paralyzed by grief - you want to heal and experience joy and love - but how do you do that while still honoring the great pain and the absence of someone you love?

When you’ve experienced a great loss, you know that life will never be the same. You don’t want to be paralyzed by grief – you want to heal and experience joy and love – but how do you do that while still honoring the great pain and the absence of someone you love?

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE

STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Atlas Tea Club: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Atlas
Harry’s Trees by Jon Cohen
Grief is Love by Marisa Renee Lee
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I’m Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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You’re crawling out of the pit where you’ve been living with your grief and you look around to see you’ve only been living an outline of a life. You know you can’t go back to your life before, but you have no vision for what comes next. And that’s when you realize it’s time to start dreaming again.

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Atlas Tea Club: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Atlas
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
The AfterGrief by Hope Edelman
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

When the calendar changed from 2022 to 2023, many people took a deep breath, let out a sigh, and wished things were different. While others were brainstorming resolutions or picking a word to focus their intentions on, those of us who have experienced loss were accepting the fact that we were entering yet another year without loved ones. What do you do when a new year is less of a fresh start and more of a reminder that you’re bringing grief into the new year with you?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Atlas Tea Club: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Atlas
A Hole in the World by Amanda Held Opelt
Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Grief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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For most of my life, I would’ve proudly called myself a perfectionist. Doing things well and with precision is important to me. But over the years I’ve realized that the ‘perfectionist’ label is one of the most unhealthy stories I’ve told myself.

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop 30% OFF Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace
The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes by Mark Pett
How to Be an Imperfectionist by Stephen Guise
Present over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough by Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Feeling in control can give us an illusion of being safe. Safe from loss. Safe from trauma. Safe from feeling any bad feelings. And when - despite our best efforts - we can’t predict or control everything that happens to us, we feel like we’ve failed or (worse) that we are the failure itself. It’s an exhausting, defeating cycle that can leave you wondering if being an adult means being either in control or a complete failure. There’s got to be a better way.

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
40% of Spiritual Direction & Coaching with Becky: BeckyLMcCoy.com/SpiritualDirection-FlashSale
Shop Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace
Mindset by Carol Dwek
What Do You Do With a Problem by Kobi Yamada
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Sometimes when we share the innermost parts of ourselves we leave the encounter feeling like we’ve been stripped bare, sometimes even flayed on the altar of vulnerability. It can even feel like a hangover - like you can’t face the world and your whole self is now too tender to even try. 

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Vulnerability is my Superpower by Jackie Davis
You are Your Best Thing by Tarana Burke
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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We all experience loneliness. And we all have a built in desire to feel like we belong. But when we realize that loneliness and belonging can co-exist - what do we do with that?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
40% of Spiritual Direction & Coaching with Becky: BeckyLMcCoy.com/SpiritualDirection-FlashSale
Shop Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace
The Great Belonging by Charlotte Donlon
The Art of Belonging by Charles Vogl
All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

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Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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When it comes to friendship, there’s some kind of unspoken fear that we have to have it all together or our friends won’t want to be our friends anymore. Do you find yourself worrying that if your friends could see your *insert weakness, fault, or fear here* they’d go running? What if friendship was less about two perfect people finding each other and more about finding the people who compliment and fit in with your own humanity?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Big Friendship by Aminitou Sow and Ann Friedman
Friendship in the Age of Loneliness by Adam Smiley Poswolsky
The Art of Showing Up by Rachel Wilkerson Miller
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

If friends aren’t the people we play with at recess or live down the hall from in the college dorm, what are they? Why do we need them if not to have a friend for hide and seek or someone to share the highs and lows of growing up with? Why do we even need friends at all?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Thank You, Omu! by Oge Mora
How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong
The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

You know that healthy friendships are an essential part of your mental health and well-being, but it feels like making friends as an adult should be easier. Why does it seem like everyone else has it figured out and you’re just sitting there hoping for someone to adopt you and be best friends forever and never have to make a new friend again?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Discernment by Henri Nouwen
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

Some of us grew up thinking that our faith was a permanent, immovable object and that any whiff of change or dissonance was a personal failure. But what happens when you realize that the ways you’ve always understood and practiced your beliefs are unhealthy and need to shift?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Courageous Community Course:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
A Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas
Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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It’s easy to feel like who we are is made up of all the things we can offer people - we are worth the sum of our productivity and helpfulness. But what happens when we have nothing to offer? Do my friends want me just for who I am or for the value I add to their lives? What kind of a friend am I if I have nothing to give? It’s terrifying to be vulnerable enough to admit that all I can give my friends is myself, but sometimes that’s all I’ve got. How can we navigate friendships when we are all overwhelmed, burned out, and exhausted?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Courageous Community Course: BeckyLMcCoy.com/CourageousCommunity (registration open til 9/29/22)
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Peace Is a Practice by Morgan Harper Nichols
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

Have you ever worried what would happen if you had to be honest about your imperfections? Do you feel like life is sometimes a Jenga tower, balanced on some of your strengths with each weakness only precariously holding up the blocks above them? Do you acknowledge your weaknesses or do you prefer to pretend like they’re not there? Are you holding your breath, waiting for one stressful, traumatic moment to make it all come tumbling down? What if there was a better way, one where we could be honest about our weaknesses and shore them up instead of just hoping for the best?

CLICK HERE FOR THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE

STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Courageous Community Course: BeckyLMcCoy.com/CourageousCommunity (registration open til 9/29/22)
Bandersnatch by Erika Morrison
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

Subscribe, rate, review, and share this podcast with the resilient people in your life!

Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!