The Dad Train

Brandon Miller is an expert in Strengths-Based Organizational Development, who has helped businesses such as Bank of America and Tesla implement leadership and company culture programs. 

He is also a father of 7, who has co-authored two books about Strengths-Based Parenting.

Brandon believes there are skills we learn as fathers that can help make us better managers and leaders in the workplace. 

In this interview, Brandon shares his story and explains some of the key lessons he has learned along the way. 

What you will learn

• The story behind Brandon’s business, 34 Strong 
• How organisations can apply strengths-based principles
• The three categories of time
  • Grind time
  • Greatness
  • Genius
• Brandon’s fatherhood journey, with 7 kids and 4 grandchildren. 
• How to manage work-life balance at different stages in your career
• Three ways managers (and parents) can be perceived by staff (and kids)
  • Advocate 
  • Adversary
  • Ambivalent  
• Leadership skills we learn as dads, that can also be applied in the workplace
• Why he and his wife decided to write a book about parenting
• What is Strengths-Based Parenting 
• What are some of the strengths we can look for in our kids
• The difference between core and growth strengths
• Unique strengths Brandon identified in his children 
• About Brandon’s organisation: ‘incredible parents’

More information
Show notes and links to the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/56 

Will McMahon is an Australian comedian and radio personality. He co-hosts the KISS Network’s national drive time show ‘Woody and Will’ with his best-mate Woody Whitelaw.

On-air it’s mostly shits and giggles, as Will’s job is to entertain and make people laugh. But in his personal life, he continues to live with regular bouts of depression.

Depression is a mental illness that affects 1 in 7 people. And typically men are not very good at talking about it. 

This is something Will is trying to change.

Will understands how hard it is for men to let their friends and family know they are struggling, but he also believes it’s the most important thing you can do to help yourself. 

In this interview, Will shares his personal story of living with depression and explains why it’s so important to talk about it.

What you’ll learn

• The Catch-22 of depression – where the best thing you can do is to speak to someone, but it’s also the hardest thing to do
• Why he created the ‘share my mood’ app
• Some lessons from Roman Kemp’s documentary ‘Our silent Emergency’
• Two ways for society to tackle depression
  • Intervention
  • Prevention
• Tips to help guys talk to their mates about depression
  • Shoulder to shoulder activities
  • ‘The 2-okay rule’
• Things Will does to help maintain his mental health
  • Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Diet and lifestyle
• How the symptoms of depression show up in Will
• The power of vulnerability – why telling your friends about your depression is the best thing you can do to help yourself. 
• Resources men can use if they need to get help

More information
Links to resources mentioned in this interview, as well as further information about the guest, can be found at https://thedadtrain.com/55

Need help?
If this topic triggers anything and you need to speak to someone, please call LifeLine on 13 11 14 (in Australia) or an equivalent helpline in your local country. 

Craig Kessler is COO of one of the world’s fastest-growing sports and entertainment companies. He’s also a father of three young boys. 

After realising he had a lot to learn about parenting, Craig reached out to his network and asked them to write him a letter on “how to be a good dad”. 

After receiving responses from a wide range of dads, including athletes, TV personalities, businessmen and civic leaders, Craig compiled the advice into a book, which became known as ‘The Dad Advice Project’

In this interview, Craig discusses some of the common themes he discovered and shares a few stories that had the biggest impact on his life as a dad. 

What you’ll learn

• About Craig’s career as COO of TopGolf
• His fatherhood story and what he has learned along the way
• What inspired him to launch ‘The Dad Advice Project’
• Some of the well-known names who contributed stories
• The three common pieces of parenting advice he learned from interviewing over 40 dads for the book
• Two parenting ideas that really stood out for Craig
• How other dads can get involved with The Dad Advice Project

More Information
Show notes and links to references mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/54

The culture of fatherhood is undergoing a transformation. Dads today spend three times as many hours with their kids as they did in the 1960s. And traditional gender roles are being reinvented in incredible ways. 

Whilst this puts greater demands on fathers, it also presents a golden opportunity for dads to redefine the concept of a modern dad. 

Jeremy Macvean is co-founder of The-Father-Hood, an online business that offers support, advice and inspiration for dads.

As a single father of three girls, Jeremy understands some of the unique challenges and opportunities of the modern dad. 

In this interview, he shares the story behind The-Father-Hood, discusses some key issues faced by dads and explains why the workplace is an important environment to harness the changing culture of fatherhood. 

What you’ll learn

• The story behind the-father-hood.com 
• How the culture of fatherhood has changed in one generation
• How Australia compares to the rest of the world
• How organisations can help support the changing landscape for fathers
• Reasons why men don’t take advantage of parental leave options
• Which topics are dads engaging with
• Jeremy’s experience raising three girls 
• The importance of self-care for dads
• How to manage separation and divorce as a father
• How Matt Damon and Chris Hemsworth inspired The Father Hood book.

More information

Show notes and  links to the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/53

Have you ever found yourself thinking – ‘I wish I understood what women want’? 

If so, then this week’s guest could provide the answer. 

Shana James has a masters in psychology and over 20 years of experience working with men to help them find love, rekindle the spark and bring intimacy back into their relationships.

Her clients call her ‘the secret weapon’ because she helps men translate women’s needs and understand their attraction and motivations.

In this powerful interview, Shana shares some insightful and counter-intuitive tips that can help men find the love and intimacy they seek, whatever stage of their relationship they are at. 

What you’ll learn

• Common issues that Shana helps her male clients with
• Some powerful skills that will help you in the workplace and in the bedroom
• How to tap into what your body is telling you
• How men can be more vulnerable without appearing weak
• How to master your attention and focus
• How to reignite the spark and bring intimacy back into a relationship 
• What is Nice Guy Syndrome?
• How to communicate your desires without complaining
• How men can reinvent themselves after divorce 
• What inspired Shana’s Ted X Talk about male vulnerability

More information
Show notes and links to all the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/52 

Matis Miller is a licensed clinical social worker and certified cognitive-behavioural therapist. 

He specialises in treating children with emotional regulation issues such as ADHD, ODD and DMDD. He also helps parents learn how to manage their expectations and acceptance.

In this interview, Matis shares strategies from his new book: The Uncontrollable Child

As a father of six and a therapist with over 15 years of experience, Matis has plenty of experience working with strong-willed children from all walks of life. 

Whether your child has a diagnosis or is simply displaying normal developmental behaviour, we could all use some extra parenting skills to help manage the situation. And that’s exactly what this interview provides. 

What you’ll learn

• What are some of the common diagnoses, such as:
  • Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)
  • Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
  • Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
• How to differentiate a behavioural disorder from normal development behaviour
• What environmental issues are contributing to increased rates of behaviour disorders
• How to harness a ‘behavioural disorder’ and turn it into a superpower
• What percentage of children have ADHD
• Is ADHD more common in boys or girls
• What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
• Top tips for managing an emotionally sensitive child

More information
Show  notes and links to the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/51

Many girls suffer from low self-esteem and negative self-image. This can cause them to date the wrong guys, be subjected to bullying and accept a life that is less than what they are worthy of. 

As dads, this is not what we want for our daughters. 

But as today’s guest explains, dads can play a vital role in helping our daughters grow up to be strong, confident and successful women.

The things we say and the example we set for them in their early years helps form a program that they will take with them for the rest of their lives. 

Stefanie Fields is a trained hypnotherapist who understand the importance of words and actions. As someone who has suffered from low self-esteem and body image issues, she is on a mission to make sure other girls don’t have to go through the same thing. 

Stefanie now writes children’s books that help embed positive affirmations in young girls minds so they can grow up to be strong and confident women. 

For dads who want to raise confident daughters, this interview provides some practical advice on how you can help.

What you’ll learn

• Why children’s brains are open to suggestion right before sleep
• How all our beliefs stem from childhood
• Why the way we talk about ourselves affects how our children talk about themselves 
• What does the term ‘daddy issues’ refer to
• 6 tips for dads to help embed a positive self-image in their daughters
  • Mirror affirmations 
  • Play the “I’m Great Too” game
  • Good night gratitude 
  • Seeking beauty in actions  
  • Lead by example
  • Daddy-daughter dates 
• Why we search for evidence for what we believe
• How dads can help raise confident daughters
• The story behind Stefanie’s book ‘You’re Beautiful When’

More information

Show notes and links to all the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/50

Have you ever found yourself saying “there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done”?

If so, you are not alone. This is one of the most common complaints shared by many busy dads. 

And while it’s true fatherhood brings increased responsibilities, that just means you need to be even more productive with the time you do have available. 

For anyone who battles with procrastination, or would like to be more productive at work, home or other areas of their life….. this is the episode for you. 

Nick Wignall is a clinical psychologist by day and a blogger, course creator and author by night. He’s also a husband and busy father with three young girls. 

So he knows a thing or two about how to get stuff done.

In this interview, Nick shares his top tips from the field of psychology and his own experience about how to stop procrastinating and stay productive.

What you’ll learn

• The two key areas that contribute to productivity
  • Habits and routines
  • Mindset and values “the inner game”
• The four factors that lead to procrastination
  • Value – how valuable is the thing you are doing?
  • Confidence (Self-efficacy)  – how much confidence do you have in your ability to do that task well?
  • Impulsivity or Distractibility – are you or your environment prone to distraction? 
  • Delay – is there a deadline and how far off is it? 
• How to stop procrastinating
• How to create a productive environment
• The Seinfeld Strategy for productivity
• The 4:55 drill
• Why self-compassion is so important for being productive

More Information
Show notes and links to all the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/49

Matthew Turner is a British author who interviewed 163 Succesful Entrepreneurs from all around the world to try and identify some common traits. 

One thing he discovered, that all these people had in common, was their attitude towards failure. 

In order to become successful, these people had all learned to embrace failure and learn from their mistakes. In fact, they viewed making mistakes as an essential part of achieving success. 

This attitude is what’s known as a ‘Growth Mindset’ and it’s something that Matthew has spent a lot of time researching, reading and writing about. 

And it’s a mindset he tries to apply to his own life as an author, entrepreneur and father. 

In this interview, Matthew explains the difference between a fixed and a growth mindset and why we all have the choice to develop a growth mindset if we want to. 

What you’ll learn

• How Matthew discovered his love of writing and became a professional writer
• Matthew’s experience becoming a father
• What he learned from interviewing 163 successful entrepreneurs 
• The story of entrepreneur Dan Miller who overcome bankruptcy to build an online empire
• What is a growth mindset and a fixed mindset?
• How can parents help their children develop a growth mindset?
• Books he recommends on mindset
  • Mindset, by Carol Dweck
  • The Code Of The Extraordinary Mind, by Vishen Lakhiani
• Matthew’s new book – Beyond The Pale. “A modern version of The Alchemist”

More information
show notes and links to related resources from this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/48

Have you ever considered taking a break from alcohol? 

Maybe you’ve tried and failed. Or maybe you’ve done a ‘Dry July or ‘Feb Fast’, only to immediately slip back into old habits. 

If so, you are not alone.

For many of us, myself included, our relationship with alcohol is on auto-pilot. We often drink out of habit, without stopping to think why. And sometimes we end up regretting it later. 

Ruari Fairbairns is the Co-Founder and CEO of ‘One Year No Beer’, an organisation that has helped over 100,000 members change their relationship with alcohol. 

In this interview, Rauri shares the story and inspiration behind OYNB and explains some of the hidden benefits of taking a tactical break from alcohol. 

What You’ll Learn

• The story behind One Year No Beer
• Why Ruari decided to take a break from alcohol and what he discovered about himself
• How he inspired his wife to follow his lead
• How different countries have different cultural attitudes towards alcohol 
• How taking a break from alcohol can help make you a better dad
• Some of the other hidden benefits of taking a break, such as sleep, anxiety, weight loss, mental health and happiness.
• Behaviour change tips to help you succeed
• And… Listen to Rauri convince Scott to take the 90-day challenge (he’s a hard man to resist)

More information
Show notes and links to all the resources mentioned in this episode are available at https://thedadtrain.com/47

Jamie Keeling is a father to seven children in a blended family (yes, he needs a bigger TV). 

He is also a successful entrepreneur, business coach and former world champion in the sport of Taekwando, who once dropped out of college to tour Europe as a long-haired wannabe rockstar. 

So, as you can see, he’s had a diverse life. And he’s learned a few things along the way.

In this interview, Jamie talks about the challenges of raising a blended family and shares his thoughts on what’s really important in life. 

If you are offended by either strong language or strong opinions, then this is not the episode for you  

But if you want to hear someone tell it how it is and share their “no B.S.” philosophies on life, then Jamie is your kind of guy. 

What you’ll learn

• How Jamie ended up with 7 kids
• How being a stepdad is different from having your own kids
• Some hard-to-hear home truths about raising a blended family
• The number one challenge to be aware of
• The three really important questions dads need to ask themselves
• Mistakes he’s made along the way
• The work Jamie does with startup businesses
• How he grew his TickTock account to 30,000 followers in six months

More information
Links to resources mentioned in this episode are available at https://thedadtrain.com/46

This is the third and final episode in a mini-series about life lessons. 

There are lessons to be learned from any experience. And in this episode, Scott shares some of the valuable life lessons he learned from running his first marathon. 

These lessons included:

• A goal without a plan is just a wish
• Small steps will get you there faster
• Taking a rest will improve your performance

These lessons come from an article published on The Dad Train blog. To read the full article including the other 9 life lessons learned, please visit https://thedadtrain.com/45

To listen to the previous episodes in this series, please visit:

• Ep. 43 - Life Lessons From Farming, with Kane Brisco
• Ep. 44 - Life Lessons From Gaming, with Eric Siu

For more information about The Dad Train

please visit: https://thedadtrain.com

Or follow us on social @thedadtrain

Eric Siu is a successful entrepreneur who has founded multiple businesses and worked with leading technology companies such as Amazon, Airbnb, Salesforce and Uber. 

In his youth, Eric was not academically or socially successful, but he was a serious high-level eSports and poker player. 

He ultimately found how to convert his focus and success in gaming into a very successful career in marketing. 

In this interview, Eric shares some of the key concepts he learned from gaming that can be applied to other areas of life. 

What you’ll learn

• Why online gaming appeals to so many young men
• How Eric got into gaming from a young age
• Which online games Eric was involved with 
• The three things you want in life – Contribution, Health and Connection
• How eSports is now one of the top 3 sports in many countries 
• How parents can balance the benefits and risks of gaming
• What he wishes his parents would have done differently to connect with a teenager who likes gaming
• A few key concepts that Eric learned from gaming, such as:
  • The wealth ladder 
  • Thievery 
  • The Newbie Mindset
• How to apply some of these lessons to fatherhood
• What is Eric working on at the moment?
• All about his new book: Leveling Up – How to Master the Game of Life

More Information
Show notes and links to all the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/44

Life on a farm can be tough, but it also teaches you some valuable lessons about awareness, acceptance and resilience. 

These are all things that can be applied to other areas of life, including your role as a father. 

Today’s guest is Kane Brisco, a dairy farmer from Taranaki in New Zealand, who has founded a business called Farmfit, to help support the mental wellbeing of his local community. 

In the interview, Kane gives a first-hand account of life on a farm and shares some valuable lessons it has taught him. 

Farming, fatherhood and philosophy – this interview covers them all. 

What you’ll learn

• Where the hell is Taranaki?
• A day in the life of a dairy farmer
• Kane’s family life with a wife and three young kids
• The story behind Farmfit – ‘no gym, no worries’
• Why so many farmers suffer from mental health problems
• The importance of community and connections for mental health
• Tools that Kane uses to manage his mental health
• Why he takes cold water trough baths in the middle of winter
• Life lessons he has learned from the farm
• Some of his most popular social videos

More information
Show notes and links to resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/43 

Compared to previous generations, today’s children have more homework, more adult-led activities and less free time to just play. 

According to psychologist Dr Peter Gray, this is a worrying trend that is having a negative impact on society. 

Dr Gray’s research shows that free-play is an important part of child development. It’s where they learn things like courage, creativity and social skills. 

In this interview, Dr Gray explains why it’s important for parents to step back and let their kids play, even (and sometimes especially) if it involves risk.

What you’ll learn

• Why Dr Gray decided to specialise in free-play
• His research into The Sudbury Valley School in Massachusetts, where the children design their own curriculum
• What are the key features in the Sudbury education philosophy?
  • Mixing kids of all ages together
  • Staff are voted in by the students
  • All decisions need to be approved by a committee of students and staff
• About Dr, Gray’s book: Free to learn
• How child-led play helps children develop important life skills
• What are the negative impacts of too much adult-led education and play
• Internal versus external locus of control 

More information
Show notes and links to resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/42

“The warrior archetype is a strong, powerful, masculine archetype. He’s a great archetype for just getting shit done!”

Archetypes are universal, inborn personality traits that have been referenced throughout human history.

They were introduced to the field of psychology by Carl Jung, who identified twelve major archetypes, but also believed there was an infinite number of potential archetypes that could exist. 

An example of a masculine archetype is ‘The Warrior’ archetype, which is particularly useful when you need to take action.

In this interview, Nic Tovey explains why the warrior archetype is so powerful and how you can access your inner warrior. 

What you’ll learn

• About Nic’s new book: The (Re)Volutionary Man
• The Pillar of Potency – 4 step model:
  • Presence
  • Power
  • Passion
  • Purpose
• What are archetypes?
• What is the Warrior Archetype and how do we embrace it?
• Joseph Campbell’s formula for the hero's journey
• What are some masculine and feminine archetypes that we can all tap in to
• Why we need polarity in our relationships

More information
Show notes and links to references used in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/41

About Nic Tovey
Nic is a Relationship, Intimacy and Sexuality Coach, who wants to help people experience a rich, joyful and authentic experience of life through their relationships, their love life and their life’s work. He can be found at NicTovey.com 

Nic was previously on The Dad Train Podcast in episode 22 talking about Conflict and Intimacy In Relationships. 

Did you know that at least 1 in 10 dads experience depression or anxiety related to the arrival of a new baby? 

It’s a condition known as PPND – Paternal Post Natal Depression and it’s much more common than most people realise. Unfortunately, many men suffer in silence and never seek help. 

Howard Todd-Collins  is a psychotherapist who helps men deal with the emotional changes that occur when they become fathers. 

In this interview, he explains why so many dads experience PPND, what it looks like and how to deal with it. 

What you’ll learn

• Why Howard started specialising in Men’s mental health issues
• The Active Fathers Group – a men’s group that Howard founded for new dads 
• Why men neglect their mental health once they become fathers
• How your relationship with your dad can impact your fatherhood style
• How men experience hormonal changes during pregnancy and beyond
• What is Paternal Post Natal Depression (PPND)
• How common is PPND
• What are the symptoms and when do they appear
• What to do if you think you are experiencing PPND
• How to be more emotionally present with your kids

More Information
Show notes and links to all the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/40

Hugh van Cuylenburg is the founder of The Resilience Project, an organisation that provides mental health and wellbeing programs to schools, businesses and individuals. 

In this interview, Hugh explains how the key concepts of Gratitude, Empathy and Mindfulness (G.E.M.) can be applied to fatherhood and why being a parent is a great test of your resilience. 

Hugh also shares stories about his family, his relationship with his dad and what’s on the horizon for the Resilience Project. 

This is a fascinating chat with an inspirational person, who is also a passionate father of two young children. 

For any parents out there, I hope you enjoy this discussion as much as I did.

What you’ll learn 

• How dad’s become part of a brotherhood
• The challenges of managing a 'threeanger'
• How being a father has tested his resilience. 
• How being a father has changed Hugh’s relationship with his dad
• Hugh’s dad’s story – immigrating from Sri-Lanka to Australia by boat
• How men can either follow in their dad’s footsteps or choose to take a different route
• Gratitude, Empathy and Mindfulness – the three key tools for resilience  
• How Hugh practices gratitude with his 3-year-old son each night
• The results of the Resilience Project’s schools program 
• The Imperfects Podcast with Ryan Shelton 
• What’s on the horizon for The Resilience Project 
• Hugh’s next book – a sneak preview into what it might be about

More information
Show notes and links to the resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/39 

At the age of 18, Richard Maloney was recruited to play AFL for the St. Kilda Football Club. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t mentally equipped to handle the pressure of being an elite sportsman and his AFL career was cut short.

However, this set Rich on a journey of personal development to understand how the human psyche worked and reprogram himself to be more resilient. 

In this interview, Rich shares his story of personal discovery and explains the system he has developed that can help reprogram your subconscious mind and change your trajectory in life.

What you’ll learn

• Richard’s background including his behavioural problems at school, his AFL experience and his journey to find himself
• His undiagnosed ADHD and how it helps him be creative
• His work with elite athletes 
• The system he developed to help sports teams win premierships 
• About the two companies he has founded – Engage and Grow and Quality Mind
• Blokes United – a Facebook Group for dads with over 20,000 members
• How our subconscious is programmed during our first 7 years of life
• How to reprogramme your subconscious mind
• How to manage aggression and frustration 
• The importance of men talking with other men
• The law of attraction
• The link between the mind and the body – how Rich learned to predict injuries in elite sportspeople
• About his latest book: Stress-Free

More information
Show notes and links to resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/38 

Dr Warren Farrell is a political scientist, activist and author of seven books including ‘The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It”

In this interview, we discuss some of the societal issues that are negatively impacting boys and contributing to what Dr Farrell calls The Boy Crisis. 

We also explore the important role that fathers play in the raising of children and why it’s so crucial for dads to be actively involved.

What you’ll learn

• Dr Farrell’s work on the National Organisation for Women (NOW)
• How he became known as the world’s leading male feminist 
• The research that caused him to switch his focus
• The myth of male privilege – how the feminist movement got it wrong
• What is the boy crisis? 
• How boys have fallen behind girls academically 
• How suicide affects boys and men so profoundly 
• How dad deprivation affects boys in negative ways
• The seven areas where dad style parenting is different from mum style parenting
• The developmental benefits of roughhousing 
• The importance of family dinner nights and how to structure them
• How to discuss controversial topics at family dinner nights and why boys love it. 
• The benefits to dads who get more involved
• In the event of divorce – the four must do’s

More information
Show notes and links to resources mentioned in this interview are available at https://thedadtrain.com/37