The Exorcist Minute

On this intergalactic BONUS Episode:

• A long time ago, in a garden far, far away...
• ...and that's why we have Adams Apples...
• Falling Action!
• Please reply to this prophecy with your favorite cheat meal
• Milton is the George Lucas of the Bible
• The first scapegoat....or scapesnake

...and more!

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:
The Hag is in the cathedral!
"And what's he then that says I play the villain?" - Iago, Aladdin 1992
What did Regan ever do to anybody? .....recently?
This episode was brought to you by Jim Henson!
"Ubi pus, ibi evacua."
Louis Pasteur's lesser known friend, Louis Pastor
Method praying vs Meisner praying
Who else knew about Clancy the duck?
...and more!

On this bamboo-licious BONUS episode:

• Wait, we're here already?!
• Adam wants his baby back (rib!)
• Lester and Kynan's Bamboo Forest of Facts!
• Satan's been all around the world (lalalalalala)
• Sus is the default for snakes
• This poor snake!
• We're the WORST debate judges!
• Not as the snake.....in the snake!
• The Last Temptation of Satan

...and more!

New segment music: "TV Intro Music" composed by Otho Molina

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• Dimmy is US!
• Not-So-Happy-Howdy
• Bedposts and Boomsticks
• Dimmy's too smart for his own good. 
• Try this - it's called "water!"
• The Berenstain Bears Meet the Berenstein Bears
• Who the f**ck is Kaiser Wilhelm?
• The origin of Beetlejuice!

...and more! 

On this BONUS episode:

• Adam's Q is more of an A
• The Longest Day
• Milton is in Horny Jail (and maybe he doth like that!)
• I'm very sorry, but you have Firstplacia...
• Milton set me up!
• What about the fish?!
• Where do widdle angel babies come fwom?
• Bearly Pandasexual

...and more!

On this episode of the Exorcist Minute:

• it's giving.........
• Do YOU know the difference between facts and based? 
• Howdy is a mood...
• Dimmy's doing it! 
• Greetings, from Hell, Michigan!
•  And with your what?
• Would you like a toy with your Blasphemy Meal? 
• I ruin the scene for Kynan (and you!)
• Are you a morning devil or a noonday devil? 

...and more!

Show Recommendation: Bruce Block's The Visual Story

On this BONUS episode:

• Adam asks all the wrong questions
• Why DO Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
• Kynan asks all the RIGHT questions!
• Raphael's Story Time!
• Thracian Bards!
• Unnatural Philosophy
• s'notalright
• It's all DIGESTION!
• Classic God!
• Chaos is a good neighbor

...and more!

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• What an excellent day for Freud!
• The Hag is in my sex cathedral!
• Live, Laugh, Scream in Terror
• Apparently we all have an Evil Queen story
• It's not the loogie we needed, but maybe the one we deserved.
• Why were so many people worried about trespassing? 

...and more!

On this BONUS episode, we cover Book 6 of John Milton's epic poem, Paradise Lost!

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• It's not always about length!
• The exorcism has begun!
• A reading from the book of Blatty
• Why is Karl in the room?!
• Anton Theresa Chekhov
• The Patriarchy strikes again!
• "Justin Bieber's Monkey!"

...and more!

On this BONUS episode:

• Satan is EVEsdropping!
• Eve has the first flying (and falling) dream!
• Raphael is a people angel
• No mention of the Beatles in Paradise Lost? 
• "Everyone knows Bill's nuts..."
• "We don't have a pantry - we're Adam and Eve!"
• Everybody Poops. (No, really!)
• Milton writing the quiet part loud....
• FLASHBACK!

...and more!

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• There are BOOKS in Daddy's Room? 
• He's a crook! The demon is a crook! (and it's not even Nixon!)
• Hell sucks Chuck Norris's cock!
• Just strap the world onto your face!
• BRO SCIENCE!
• "The house is not a character!"
• There is only one.
• Merrin bashes Dimmy, and Dimmy is abashed. 
• What did the priest go into the perfume shop for? Ascent!

...and more!

On this BONUS episode:

• We catch Satan Monologuing. 
• To Be Or Not To Be Evil
• Satan to Beelzebub: "I wish I could quit you!"
• There are TWO trees?!?!?
• He squatted LIKE a toad, or AS a toad? 
• Like Eden, this episode if full of "mazy errors."
• Is the patriarchy Miltonic...or Satanic? 
• "He's behind you! Satan's behind you!" 
• Satan is an ANIMORPH?!
• God tips the scales and Satan runs away.

...and more!

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• It's a Hail Mary pass by Merrin!
• The Seventh Seal: This chess-terical comedy will have you pawn-dering life and the human condition!
• What's YOUR stage name?
• A reading from the Book of Blatty
• Judy Garland: Now with xylitol!
• Nobody crosses the Chuck Norris Bridge!
• Don't name the ticks!
• Father Merrin tells a grandpa joke!

...and more!

Music: "Hopeful" by Cold Cinema

On this widdle baby BONUS episode:

• That slothy goodness!
• Everybody Loves Satan
• Different Family Strokes Matter For All In The Full House, Kotter.
• Eden: Impossible
• Better to reign in my angsty teenage bedroom....
• In case of hellfire, use stairs
• Well, that stairway joke escalated quickly....
• Satan's knock, knock, knockin' on Heaven's Door
• I'm just a widdle baby chewub!
• "Be more like Satan" - Lester Ryan Clark
• "Loser-fer" is more like it!

...and more!

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• Oh, no! The Amadeus is gonna get Mozart!
• Your childhood movies were DARK!
• A reading from the Book of Blatty
• Psalm 102 on minute 102 - is this a sign?
• We get into another fistfight about the layout of this goddamn house
• Daddy's Room (also knows as the library)
• Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
• "Do you come to the MacNeal house often?"
• What 5 Exorcist characters would YOU choose to battle Pazuzu?
• "You can choose to escape, but you may never be able to return!"

...and more!

On this ROCKIN' EIGHTIES Bonus Episode:

• Any child sacrifice is a personal child sacrifice if you believe enough
• Montage!
• Satan's "Gonna Fly Now."
• You had me at sloth
• Another montage!
• Hell is a fixer-upper!
• Genesis Math 
• You have my bow! And my Axe! And my CHILDREN!
• How effective is a whip of scorpions REALLY?
• Yet another montage!

...and more!

On this episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• The Exorcist has arrived!
• PriestHub
• The most beautiful minute of the film?
• Watch out for Mickey!
• Was Merrin the last passenger of Capitol Cab? 
• This cabbie knows EVERYBODY!
• A reading from the Book of Yelp!
• Kynan RUINS the best shot for me (not really)
• We almost kill each other over a window
• What an excellent day for downers

...and more!

On this EPICALLY POETIC bonus episode:

• Satan gets a glow up!
• The Disney version of the Devil???
• Monarchy II : Monarchies
• There's a Star Wars crawl at the beginning!
• Side effects may include, headaches, dizziness and PENAL FIRE!
• Satan is Elsa from Frozen: Change my mind
• "What's Adonis?" "Nothin'! What's Adonis wit' you!"
• "Oh, no! I've been stricken with this really rad face tattoo!"
• That's So Satan! Tonight at 6 on the Disney Channel!
• Pandemonium (no banana for scale)

...and more!

On this, our 100th episode of The Exorcist Minute:

• This show was brought to you by the letter X!
• We're not just filth peddlers, folks, we're CATHOLIC filth peddlers!
• We need a new Transubstantiation machine!
• There is only one....baked potato.
• The great popes of the past looking down at us
• A pontificating pontiff
• Apparently EVERYONE was at Woodstock!
• Okay, FINE, I'll watch Seinfeld!
• Obi Wan, Kenobi Wan
• A reading from the Book of Blatty

...and more!