The Leaves of a Victim never more with Steven Wilson

This episode is another based on group therapy and what I’m dealing with my mother being in a nursing home.  These are observations I have made for my mother as well as the other residents of the home.

The reading is Whitmans “Thanks or old age”

I also use the bill Murray film Groundhog Day to express the similarities between repetition and seeing your life from point of old age.

Today’s episode is an update on my life dealing with my mom in a nursing home.  I went to group therapy and told them what I feeling.  They told me I was angry because my own life had disappeared.  I don’t agree.

The reading is HP Lovecraft’s “Dagon”.  I chose it for obvious reasons.

If you are a victim of rape like me or any kind of abuse you can always reach out to me and talk.  I’m here to listen 

No judgment ever

Respect vs Rules

In this episode my topic is based on my experiences with my mom’s nursing home and all the paperwork involved with her care.

I talk about the nucleus of medica in America: who’s gonna pay this bill?

I read from Irving Goffman’s “Asylums”.  I focus on the binary deviations of organizational structure and function.  These revolve around the private vs public, as well as, the individual vs group.

In the end this episode is about the roles we play in society and our inability to accept the natural law of our roles changing over time.

Ray Bradbury once called people “books just walking around”.  Well, I believe people are time machines too.

This episode I continue documenting my life as I transition my mother to nursing care.  I talk about packing her stuff and it ending up in storage.  I talk about her sadness turning to anger at her aging goes natural, but wrong according to her reality.

I read Mending wall by Robert frost 

Today’s episode is based on recent events involving my mother and her falling.  She had been living on her own and fell.  Luckily the pharmacy was delivering her meds and found her.  No one knows for sure how long she was out.

I look at the past week and how it is going being her son.  Am I a good son?

I read the funeral poem by Mary Frye, do not stand at my grave and weep.

There is no reference to group therapy in this episode.

Today’s episode is based on holidays and their meaning within the framework of the celebration itself. I take some the analysis from our group session.

I read “Nature” from Longfellow. I think it is a great poem on death.

What is Halloween?  Christian or Gaelic or other?

What is it to be religious in todays world? Of celebration of the dead?

This episode is about reflective morality.  I read from the book, The moral life by John Dewey.

Ethics is defined as the science of conduct within the ranges of good/bad or good/evil.

I discuss my metaphor for ethics: driving an automobile.

I also discuss Bentham and the concept within Philosophy of law :legal positivism.  I talk about the justice/revenge paradigm as well as topics of conformity and application of law as it resides in the punishment of not conforming.

This episode is just basic celebration stuff.  I talk about being a suicide and keeping time..  I talk about my best friend in grade school.

I read from “Something wicked this way comes” by Ray Bradbury.

Happy Birthday to all of You!!

Form follows Function.  Or so it goes.

This episode again ventures into political philosophy here in America while at the same time dealing with some opinions of mine about my group therapy format.

The reading for this episode is taken from the Federalist Papers: specifically, no. 10.

James Madison admits something about the human that have always found a bit shocking; especially for someone supporting the revolution against King George.

At the nucleus of any group dynamic is trust. This trust is based on the mutualism agreed upon so the group can function as a group and meet all the needs for its individual participants. 

this episode is a tangent of the standard as summer has made group therapy light in attendance and topics thinner than usual.  This episode deals with the timeless assumption that america is an asylum.

Asylum is defined as a place or people that needs care.  I think that fits perfectly.

I maintain the format by reading prior to podcast, and this time I go with “Democracy in America” written by Alexis De Tocqueville.  I read from Volume 1, the introduction as it begins with a history lesson of his homeland of France and rides out upon the day on the horse of equality which I refer to as a sensation (my words not his).

I may or may not make a series of this topic during the Melting months of hellsummerhound. 

Time is a concept that requires one to have a mental illness to keep it.

The Greek believed past, present , and future meant time existed.  Einstein said time didn’t exist in the way people speak of it.

For me, the DC comic film “The Flash” is based on a main story line in Barry Allen’s comic; going back in time to save his mother’s life which would save his father from being wrongly prosecuted for murder and being incarcerated for said crime.

it is a strong story for a kid reading a comic, and the speed force is useful in both animated movie and TV series; but lacks substance for older folks like myself.

This episode I read from Hemingways’ Old Man and the sea.

My name is Steven Wilson.  I am a drug user and sex abuse victim.  A teacher raped me when I was a child in 7th grade.  I am in group therapy with other men who were also victims of sex abuse.

I am grateful for my life in America.  I am well aware of the cancer within this country, but that doesn’t keep me from acknowledging the benefits.

This episode is based off the happenings in another group therapy session between two members: one, he was speaking of the trauma of his dog losing a toy while, two, the second member was speaking of the loss of two members of his family in American wars (Vietnam and the War on terror). 

They both spoke in the group seemingly unaware of the content of the other.

This happens occasionally so we just sit through it, but I began to think to Walt Whitman and his poetry dealing directly with the civil war in the United States of America (1861-1865).

With Memorial Day coming up next week I thought it a good topic for this podcast.

I read Whitman’s poem “The Wound-Dresser”.

Perhaps it is true that those that praise war have never been in war, but all are brave that engage the human condition.

I am grateful, but that is all I can offer you any day of the year regardless of your place in this world.

This episode is based a group therapy game where everyone in the group picks one superpower they would love to have.  this is a form of linguistical Rorschach in that it tells a great deal about the person.

The reading is from HP Lovecraft “Dunwich Horror”.

I chose the power to bring back the dead.  Biblical in all.

Time.  the most precious thing in the universe ; and it is the heart of this podcast-unevenly.

In this episode I again speak of our group therapy discussions and deal with the war in Ukraine, and how the “victims” of a war touch the victims of sexual abuse.

I read from “Are prisons obsolete?” By Angela Davis.

I was always impressed with her critical thinking and how clear her writing style was in on topic she took on.  I thought about her book while in therapy session. 

this episode deals with myself revisiting NA.  I read from th blue book and find its opening salvo hitting the human self bulls eye.

I see each person as a recipe of sorts; needing just the right amount of certain things to exist and function.  obviously this doesn’t work for all of us as I am proof of dysfunction.

I embrace the recipe for myself and find it easier to exist in real form.

Tonight I speak about how one member of the group session and their testimonial about one of. The circumstances in which they were raped. 

The group member gave a testimonial about what happened while watching How the Grinch stole Christmas TV special.

I watched it this morning and it became a slight trigger for myself and afterwards I felt sick to my stomach.  It is rare that this happens to me.

I read “Christmas Trees” from Robert frost as it parallels to allegory of consumerism in Christmas and the removal of the reason for the season now identified as the trappings of Christmas: lights, egg nog n brandy, presents, parties, and trees.

Today’s podcast episode is a simple list of things I am grateful for in my life.

The list is not in any special order.  It is just a exercise we did in group therapy.  Everyone went around after having ten minute s to write out what the things in their life they were grateful for.

In this episode I go through my list and share other observations as we head into the holiday season.

Happy thanksgiving 

Art is my life now and has been for a long time.  this episode is about the types of art I do .

Visual art
Piano composition
Pyrography
Leather craft
Poetry
Fiction writing

I enjoy opera (Don Giovanni) and some ballet.  I attend many art exhibition openings.  

Art expression and creativity is crucial to my existence.

Www.Steven Wilson relations.com is my current website.  My online offerings are also on Amazon.

Today’s episode is based on Halloween and a few guys in group take on safety in modern America.

One of the guys in group got abused on Halloween by a man passing out candy.  this started the discussion about the changes society put in place to protect kids today from danger.  These things were not happening when I was young.

I also speak about the concept of life as a masquerade party.

this is not new, but my take on “costumes” on Halloween versus the “costumes” people wear the rest of the year.

In the Halloween spirit my reading is from HP Lovecraft “The shadow over Innsmouth”.

Today’s episode is again taken from group therapy and how two members are dealing with medication changes as well as dealing with the reality of being called patient even out of hospital.

America doesn’t treat mental illness with the same vigor or acceptance of physical or biological illness.  this reality is a harsh one indeed.

Coping with this business model is beyond confusing for most as you universal definition plays itself out in regards to being “mental patient”.  This confusion makes modes of treatment and the attainment of “being cured” beyond us all.

This episode is for my people: The Mentals.