Things That Keep Me Up at Night

After you hear friend-of-the-show Lex Mooney share these stories of mysterious disappearance, law enforcement incompetence, and the occasional preventable death, you'll have learned three lessons: 

1. Children are slippery beasts.
2. Your ABCs (Always Be Clinging to a friend so you don't accidentally die on a hike).
3. THE FOREST IS A TERRIFYING PLACE.

A huge thanks to Lex for being on the show (and David Paulides for collecting these stories in his book, Missing 411)! We can't wait to hear what you have to terrify us next. 

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Happy Pride Month! We're kicking it off with a review of an LGBTQ cult classic. The Gay Deceivers (1969) was one of the first American films to portray include depictions of homosexuality after the elimination of the Hays Code that plagued Hollywood for decades. While we initially selected the film because of an oh-so-viral video of Michael Greer, we were splendidly surprised with how comfortably camp the film was.

The film follows two friends, Danny Devlin and Elliot Crane, who decide to dodge the draft by pretending to be in a gay relationship. Due to rules regarding the membership of homosexuals in the military in the 60s, they were quickly taken off the draft list. However, Danny is soon plagued with paranoia that the recruitment officer doesn't believe them and is investigating the validity of their claims. The only solution, Danny decides, is to move into a cozy bungalow with Elliot and pretend to be newlyweds. 

We lived, we laughed, we loved. 

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Huge thanks to Behind the Slate Podcast for turning us on to this underexposed gem - give 'em a listen and follow them on Tiktok (which is where we saw the video that inspired this episode).

These two white girls from Southern California were woefully unaware of the powerhouse that is Melvin Van Peebles - a man who basically set the standard for what would become known as Blaxploitation film. This episode changed that. 

Don't let the movie's premise (a bigoted white man becomes Black) scare you off. Watermelon Man is one of the most direct, honest, and unflinching satires we've ever seen. There are so many moving parts that work seamlessly together to perfectly capture the manufactured nature of whiteness - and Van Peebles did it all in 31 days. 

But that's not the best part. The best part is the story behind how it was made in the first place. You've gotta hear it. Pinky promise.

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Folks, we could all use a little good news. But instead of a Gong Noise episode, we decided to find a new direction: Historical acts of kindness. Though the five different stories of individual kindness were different in scale, time period, and motive, we were surprised to find a uniting factor that resonated directly with the times we find ourselves living through now (even if Olivia still managed to make her last one a bummer). 

Featuring: moral ambiguity, compassion, and a path forward.

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While Olivia and Brooke work up the data to present something decent on the RESTRICT Act, we decided to take Gwyneth Paltrow's moment in the media cycle to revisit all the things we hate about GOOP (and rich people lol). Gwyneth, if you're reading this, take this as a sign. Go to therapy. Talk to non-millionaires. I'm begging you.

Also, as an update, we're deleting our social media! You can still reach us at ttkmeup@gmail.com or through our website. Thanks for understanding!

Featuring: a new segment called Would You Buy That, the healing powers of standing on the ground, and the cure for parasites: Goat milk.

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Ok so we watched this movie in 2016 and had this incredible plan to revisit it, listen to our old review, and compare it with our current opinions. But I guess we Mandela Effect-ed ourselves into thinking we had done an episode on it? We literally confused our real life for Content. Unbelievable.

Anyway, The Red Pill is a nightmare of a documentary (both technically and in substance). If nothing else, it served as a metric for how much we've grown in 7 years, because this was truly insufferable. Get ready for an hour and a half of analytical roasting.

TW: child abuse, misogyny, one brief mention of the painful side effects of childbirth

FEATURING: Olivia's morning ritual, an insult to journalism, and my favorite flow chart ever created.

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The deep dive into child beauty pageants is finally complete. The big question: Why do parents still engage with these pageants when they're a.) so demonstrably harmful to kids and b.) so universally disliked by our culture? The answer is simpler than you may think.

Featuring: That pesky old Capitalism again, a Sociology 101 class, and a surprise guest star.

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We've had a WEEK (read: we are very tired), so instead of an emotionally-draining heavy hitter we've opted for another terrible movie to lift our spirits. And let me tell you, From Justin to Kelly DELIVERED.

There is nothing right about this movie. The writing, acting, dancing, singing, songwriting, direction, photography, everything is as wrong as it can be. And yet, somehow, Olivia and I both had the singularly euphoric experience of wanting to watch it again immediately. When it comes to the world of uniquely terrible film, this is something special.

Featuring: Our lord and savior, Eddie, a hovercraft death race that I somehow DIDN'T MENTION, and  a five minute love duet where no one looks at each other.

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To give you a break from real-life family toxicity in the pageant world, we're diving deep into... fictional family toxicity! Hooray!

For the first time, we compared two different movies for our minisode: Monster in Law (2005) and My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002). The latter is one of our favorite comedies, like, ever, and the other is... well, we hadn't seen it since we were kids, so it wasn't much of anything to us. Until we watched it again. And now we both hate it.

But why do we hate it? They're both films about unhealthy family dynamics, they're both comedies, they both have performers we love. What went wrong? To our surprise, the reasoning went deeper than we'd both suspected. 

Featuring: the difference between miscommunication and cruelty, some charming Greek stereotypes, and a psychological profile of Kevin.

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Disclaimer: We had some audio issues on Brooke's recording this week - it's a little annoying, but still listenable, and we really hope it doesn't affect your listening experience too much. Please stick with it! It's our longest episode, and we're really proud of how it turned out. Hope you enjoy!

TW: child abuse (nothing graphic, but general neglect and disregard for their needs), sex and sexuality (in the context of both child sexual development and abuse), a brief mention of eating disorders (personal anecdotes about our experiences, also not graphic but potentially triggering), and a brief mention of suicide.

OKAY SO MAYBE WE'RE A THREE PART SERIES SHOW NOW. In a hilariously predictable turn of events, Brooke's episodes went from a two-parter to a three-parter, and this episode is STILL our longest episode ever. We promise it's worth it - we're talking a deep dive into child development, the arguments for and against child pageantry (with a special place in hell for Annette Hill), a research-based analysis of both arguments, and an advocation for evaluating pageants intuitively. Get ready to be sad. And kinda mad. 

Featuring: both more and less nuance than we expected, anti-pearl-clutching, and probably too much information about Brooke's personal life!

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THIS MOVIE BAD.

Idk what we expected from a movie that won like 5 Razzies, but we are at a loss, folks. This rivals My Boss's Daughter in badness - and this movie was supposed to be a blockbuster. Based on the book duo that inspired the best Fallout game (Fallout: New Vegas, obviously), this film had the source material to make something truly interesting. And all the elements were there! But somehow, the entire artistic team (right down to the performers, composer, the works) dropped the ball so hard that it tunnelled to the core of the Earth.

Anyway, you gotta see it.

Featuring: the weight of a mediocre white man's ego lmao

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Brooke's only familiarity with child pageants was with Toddlers & Tiaras when she was in high school--but how accurate was that to the real life effects pageants have on kids? In part I of her Kids episode series, Brooke covers the history, structure, and inner workings of the different types of child pageants. Plus, as a treat, we'll get into the terms and conditions of one pageant company as an example of what kids could be signing up for. Next time, we'll cover the real effects of child pageantry, the motivations for participating, and how child pageants could become more ethical.

Featuring: Pageant Crack, media cash grabs, and the mortifying ordeal of being a child.

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Brooke stalling for time is the perfect excuse to get into the spooky spirit with a good-ole-fashioned horror movie review! And this one's a treat - it has NUANCE. It has JUICE. It has stuff to ARGUE ABOUT. You're gonna love it. 

Featuring: a super irresponsible sex worker, a broken laptop, and carbon dating the concept of deepfakes.

This episode was sponsored my Magic Mind! For another 10 days, you can get 40% off a subscription at https://www.magicmind.co/atnight and 20% off individual orders with our code, ATNIGHT20. Thanks, Magic Mind!

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Huge thanks to our Patron, Danica, for recommending this to us in our Discord server!

It sure is a movie... sort of! A meme that Olivia and Brooke somehow missed, Killer Bean is a strange force to be reckoned with. Listen in for thought-provoking questions like: Do coffee beans have blood? How do they ingest narcotics? Are the grooves in the beans actually their ass cheeks? 

Featuring: a tangent about Pinocchio, a TikTok marketing disagreement, and hundreds of beans who get... decaffeinated.

This episode was sponsored my Magic Mind! For the next 10 days, you can get 40% off a subscription at https://www.magicmind.co/atnight and 20% off individual orders with our code, ATNIGHT20. Thanks, Magic Mind!

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I don't know what else to say! If the last two parts of this massive series were bad, this one is truly a nightmare. Olivia wraps up her deep dive into the foster and adoption systems on a spectacular low: the international adoption industry. Fair warning: it's a bleak picture of selfishness, exploitation, and and objectification with very few good actors involved. Listen with your mental health in mind.

Featuring: child trafficking via Facebook groups, the article that almost killed Olivia, and adoptive "parents" capitalizing on genocide.

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Woman! Woe-man! Whoaaaaaa man! It's a weird 90s romantic comedy as a palette cleanser before Olivia's last episode on the adoption and foster industry!

This uniquely off-beat film starring Mike Myers, Nancy Travis, and Amanda Plummer (with some truly delightful cameos) was a staple of Olivia's childhood and a completely new experience for Brooke. But is it good? Uh.... well.... ah... kind of?

Featuring: Phil Hartman as my favorite character, a narrowly dodged Woody Allen-shaped bullet, and Mike Myers being Mike Myers for an hour and a half.

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Spoiler Alert: Of course you can, it's just way more complicated than we originally thought. 

Olivia delves into the foster system in part 2 of 3 for her "Kids" series episode. What does fostering actually mean? Where did it come from? How do our current attitudes about poor people inform the way we approach caring for their children? And, most importantly, how can we foster kids in a way that encourages reunification?

FEATURING: the definition of neglect, firsthand class disparity, and why you should almost never call CPS.

We're back in the saddle, friends, and this time we're starting ROUGH with a new series aaaall about kids. It's always the kids.

In our first-ever 3-part episode series, and in light of the repeal of Roe v. Wade, Olivia tackles the adoption industry as we know it in America today. Did you know the modern adoption industry was born out of systematized abuse, child slavery, and commodification? Brooke sure didn't!

This one is a controversial topic, so we ask that listeners proceed with an open mind and compassion for the nuance we cover. Remember, wanting to adopt a child isn't an inherently bad thing - it's good practice to interrogate our methods and learn for the sake of reducing future harm. 

Featuring: a just really awful evil woman, chattel slavery but with kids, and a critical look at our own biases about adoption.

It's the last episode of the season! For our season finale, we're giving you two mini heavy hitters each - two subjects that keep us up at night but can't fill a whole episode. We'll give you teasers into what we know about men's strange hatred of women, the way we societally treat bad people, aging and death in America, and the U.S. retirement system. Enjoy, and see you in a few months!

Featuring: reverse psychology, god complexes, and the Sisyphean task of retirement saving.

TRIGGER WARNING: this episode presents topics such as war, gore/violence, body horror, child death and suffering, firsthand accounts of nuclear detonation, and discusses disturbing images and stories related to the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

It's finally done. Brooke finally finished our Nuclear series with part II of her presentation on the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It's absolutely the more disturbing of the two - follow us down the path of how we justify extreme violence (and how we may be able to get out of it).

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