This Movie Was A Hot Dog

Hot Dog #56-This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched, 1995’s horror film “Evolver.” This film had us asking such questions as; why does this robot never stop asking questions? Why were we so obsessed with VR in the 90’s when we weren’t actually able to make it a reality? Are they expecting parents to spend tens of thousands of dollars to by their children a fully functioning artificially intelligent robot? Where is this VR arcade and why is there no staff? Do you have to buy extra darts and liquid smoke for this robot which must cost as much as a car? Why is this better than a video game exactly? How is the robots nerf canon able to fire steak knives out of it? Why, in movies, are families always drinking milk at dinner? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #55- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched, 1983’s action comedy film, “Fantasy Mission Force.” This film had us asking such questions as; why is Jackie Chan top billed in a movie he is barely in? Why are the Japanese in Canada ? Why does Africa (the entire continent) have its own General? Why is the American General named Abraham Lincoln? Is the main character a Captain or a Lieutenant ? Why are the Japanese Nazis driving American Muscle Cars? Better question, why are there Japanese Nazis? Why does this goofy spoof movie become a serious war movie with a message about the American military industrial complex at the end? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #54- In celebration of the end of summer and going back to school, we are watching films that, for many, encapsulate that feeling of freedom and summer fun. That’s right, the forgone genre of the boob comedy! Films that were made in one week for almost no money, that were shown on basic cable late at night to an audience of mostly 12 to 16 year olds. And for our fourth and final week of this summer farewell, Matt (a different matt) and Reverend Zach watched, 1979’s sex/boob comedy “H.OT.S.” This film had us asking such questions as; why does one guy seemingly own a hot air balloon that he keeps inflated 24/7? Does this movie really need four B-plots? Why is no one concerned that a fully autonomous cleaning robot appears inside their home? Where did they get a seal, and what is the long term plan to take care of the animal? How can the boob comedy that has the most boobs (out of the four we have now watched) be so boring !? What exactly does the drugged chocolate cake do to Danny Bonaduce’s body? What happens to the fat polish immigrant at the end during the topless football scene? Why does this movie end with a topless football scene that lasts 15 MINUTES !?! And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #53- In celebration of the end of summer and going back to school, we are watching films that, for many, encapsulate that feeling of freedom and summer fun. That’s right, the forgone genre of the boob comedy! Films that were made in one week for almost no money, that were shown on basic cable late at night to an audience of mostly 12 to 16 year olds. And for our third week of this summer farewell Matt and Reverend Zach watched, 1995’s satirical science fiction (soft core porn(?)) boob comedy “Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold.” This film had us asking such questions as; was this suppose to be a normal movie or a soft core porn? Can a movie have six, several minute long topless scenes, with dialogue, and still be considered a real movie. Did this movie need a B plot, never mind two of them? Where did the circus tent come from? Who made the giant bikini? Did the same company make the giant lipstick? Did the giant hamster that stomped through LA ever get killed? Why didn’t angel explode at the end? Were women's crotches longer in the 90’s? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #52- In celebration of the end of summer and going back to school, we are watching films that for many, encapsulate that feeling of freedom and summer fun. That’s right, the forgone genre of the boob comedy! Films that were made in one week for almost no money, that were shown on basic cable late at night to an audience of mostly 12 to 16 year olds. And for our second week of this summer farewell Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched, 1984’s Canadian boob comedy “Oddballs” (no relation to "Screwballs” This film had us asking such questions as; why are we constantly shooting guns at children for laughs? Why is there a coin operated telescope in the boys cabin, pointed at the girls camp? Why is there both an alien and a dinosaur in a movie that also has a rather cute subplot about a young boy's summer crush? Has there even been a movie, before or since, that has had both a Japanese stereotype and a beret wearing french Canadian black kid in it? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #51- In celebration of the end of summer and going back to school, we are watching films that for many, encapsulate that feeling of freedom and summer fun. That’s right, the forgone genre of the boob comedy! Films that were made in one week for almost no money and were shown on basic cable late at night to an audience of mostly 12 to 16 year olds. And to start this summer farewell Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched, 1983’s Canadian boob comedy “Screwballs.” This film had us asking such questions as; why are most of these guys not in jail? Who exactly are the snooty old people being led around throughout the whole movie? Why does this school have its own beach? Why does this school have its own airplane repair shop? What is the plot of this movie? Is there a plot at all? Can a movie be legally considered feature length if it's under 90 minutes? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #50- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched, 1984’s science fiction, romantic adventure, comedy film, “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!” This film had us asking such questions as; is Buckaroo Banzai the single most important human in the history of civilization? Why did Lord John Whorfin just not travel back to the 8th dimension in 1938? Why did John Lithgow not age a single day in 46 years? Why is Jeff Goldblum dressed like a cowboy? What was that watermelon doing at the Banzai institute? Why is the President having back surgery? Why don’t the black Lectroids just shoot the laser at John Whorfin instead of threatening to instigate WWIII ? How exactly does and an alien space craft fly “like a truck”? How does one become a “Blue Blaze Irregular”? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #49- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched, Neil Breen’s Magnum Opus, 2005’s “Double Down”. This film had us asking such questions as; Is he stopping a terrorist attack or conducting one? What is the story? Is there a story? What is the deal with that magic rock he got from the old man in the desert? Is Neil Breen a genius or a mad man? Why did he write out what is suppose to be such a bad ass character and then have him eat tuna out of the can while driving? Does he commit the terrorist attack or not? Who was the little girl who had brain cancer? Why must we see his balls floating in a pool? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #48- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1994’s “Angels in the outfield”. This film had us asking such questions as; who established the rules to dictate angelic influence over an American Baseball game? Why do such rules exist anyway? How on earth has Danny Glover not been fired yet ? What happened to the pitcher after Danny Glover punched him? Did Danny Glover kill the pitcher? Why did the writers feel the need to kill Tony Danzas; never mind that this fact is revealed to a child through divine influence ! Why does the team never have a single away game? Why is the owner ok with the coach assaulting its own players, but is ready to fire him for believing in God ? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #47- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1989’s American cinematic classic, “Roadhouse”. This film had us asking such questions as; how is it possible for Patrick “the swayz” Swayze to be so damn cool? Why is the comical fat guy afraid of a taxidermy polar bear? Why doesn’t Ben Gazara just shoot Patrick Swazyze in the head 10 minutes into the movie? Why does a movie about fist fights have 3 buildings explode? Why does no one call the state police, or do anything at all? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #46- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1988’s “The Stuff”. This film had us asking such questions as; why would you put something in your mouth that you find on the ground? Why does every member of Jason’s family hate him with such a red hot passion? What is the deal with the creepy movie in the commercial? Do you have to refrigerate the stuff or not? Does frank-cis’s home not have atmospheric pressure in it? Why did Jason think eating shaving cream would be a good idea? If you can already buy the stuff literally anywhere, why would they also have independent stuff stores? Why is Jason such a moron? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #45- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1988’s “Cheerleader Camp”. This film had us asking such questions as; what exactly is the reason for the entire screen turning bright red? Are we supposed to be suspicious of Allison, even after we know for a fact she is not the killer? Does this movie contain the absolute worst example of two white people rapping? Why does it take 50 minutes for someone to get slashed in a slasher movie? Why does no one call the police, ever!?!? How has this camp not been shut down for criminal neglect? Why do we see the fat guy's butt for so long? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #44- This week, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1990’s “A Gnome Named Gnorm”. This film had us asking such questions as; is this children’s movie? If it is, why is Gnorm so frightening? Why does Anthony Michael Hall, a cop in LA in the 90’s, not carry a gun? Why is Gnorm’s one magic power so lame? How do a horse and a dog talk to each other? Why would they name the bad guy “Z’Dar” when the bad guy’s henchman is the actor Robert Z’Dar!?!? Why does Robert Z’Dar think Gnorm is a human baby? Why does Gnorm eat paper? Is Frank-cis the foremost expert in “real” gnomes? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #43- This week Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1996’s “The Phantom”. This film had us asking such questions as; how does a horse and a dog talk to each other? Why, in the 90’s, were we obsessed with making 1930’s comic strips into major Hollywood motion pictures? Why does The Phantom, a super hero set mostly in the green jungle, have a costume that is bright purple? Why does Catherine Zeta-jones become a good guy at the end? Why does The Phantom have two long barreled .45’s and never shoot a single dude? Is there magic in this film? Why is every single airplane a sea plane? Why is this movie so boring? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #42- This week, as requested by Ethan, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1985’s “Ninja Terminator”. This film had us asking such questions as; how many movies were spliced together to create this semi-movie? Why is there a guy in a white suit wearing a blond female wig? Why did they dub the chinese pawn shop owner to have an American southern accent? How many red ninjas are there? Is the red ninja the one who is in charge of the ninja empire? What is the ninja empire? Why do the bad guys send tiny toy robots to deliver a message that they also deliver with a phone call? Why do the white guys wear eye liner when they are ninjas? Is there magic in this movie or is it just bad editing? Who the hell is Lilly? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #41- This week, as requested by Don from North Cape May NJ, Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1998’s “Godzilla”. This film had us asking such questions as; why is Godzilla French? Why is Matthew Broderick such a wienie? Who the hell is Maria Patillio? Why is half the cast of the Simpsons in this movie? Why is Godzilla carrying so many boats with him? Did things used to be “on an internet”? Can a director really rip off Jurassic Park this much? Why is the source of most of the destruction the U.S. Military and not the 160 foot tall dinosaur? WHY ROLAND EMMERICH ! WHY!!!?!?!And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #40- This week Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1992’s “Sidekicks”. This film had us asking such questions as; is this secretly a horror movie? Was the whole movie in Barry’s head? Why is nobody disturbed by the behavior of this loner child who is not only hearing voices, but taking the advice that the voices offer? Did Barry ever really have asthma? Why would you go through all the trouble of training for a karate tournament and never bother to read the flyer!?!? Once Barry is finally living his dreams, why does he still need to escape to some fantasy world? What genre of movie is this supposed to be? Was Chuck Norris inside us all along? Why is Julia Nixon falling in love with a schlubby Beau Bridges? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music Composed by Nick April.

Hot Dog #39- This week Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1994’s “Double Dragon”. This film had us asking such questions as; did they decide to play or even look at the video game before making the movie? What genre of movie is this supposed to be? Why in this goofy kids movie is Abobo something out of a David Crohnenburg horror film? Why is their station wagon rocket car so slow? What exactly is Robert Patrick’s plan? Did the federal government just abandon LA after an earthquake? Why did they hire Scott Wolf if he can clearly do no Karate whatsoever? Why is Julia Nixon in this movie for 5 minutes? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music by Nick April.

Hot Dog #38- This week Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1995’s “Virtuosity”. This film had us asking such questions as; did somebody black mail Denzel Washington? Why are the matrix future cops wearing weird leather baseball caps? Why does Denzel Washington have a robot arm when it never really matters? Did Kelly Lynch go to the salon and say “give me the Laura Dern Please !” ? Why is Hitler not the strongest personality in Russel Crowes head? Why is no one impressed by the fact that we can use nanobots to form sentient androids? What ever happened to all the other parolees who have microchips in their brains? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music by Nick April.

Hot Dog #37- This week Frank-cis and Reverend Zach watched 1994’s “Class of 1999 II: The substitute”. This film had us asking such questions as; did they really think America was going to descend into post-apocalyptic dystopian madness in just 5 years? Why do they show us a paintball gun used to set people on fire and then never set anyone on fire? Is this set in a crumbling city, a government controlled dystopia, or the woods? Why are all of these high school student 40 years old? Why would you take kids who are all involved in violent gangs and teach them how to kill each other with paintballs? Why is the “museum” really just a trailer? Is the original movie really as cool as the sequel leads us to believe? Why is it so easy to get away with murder on school property? And other questions! Join us for this Hot Dog! Edited by- Zach, Music by Nick April.